โ™ฅ Saved GIFs

Loadingโ€ฆ

View all favorites โ†’

Malcolm in the Middle

Season 2, Episode 1 โ€” Traffic Jam

TMDB episode metadata
โ†“
a624959c-08e1-4bb6-8c26-48fbb96c22e1.gif
Okay. Here's the thing about my family:
โ†“
67e749d8-be0f-4b24-9b6d-e21ba409310c.gif
We don't go on a lot of outings together, but when we do,
โ†“
a611125e-6210-49a1-9098-9b5724c79a09.gif
there's a little tradition we always end up observing.
โ†“
34c4ab69-4b00-42aa-88a0-281fad1e57b0.gif
When you say lifetime ban,
โ†“
d0c51598-6409-4ba4-a5af-10363e4882e8.gif
whose lifetime are you talking about?
โ†“
78e86ae7-def8-41a1-a275-90704357cd4d.gif
Mom, let my feet touch the ground.
โ†“
aba85d8b-e234-4298-9279-a3f5150f8b92.gif
Don't you ever ask me for anything ever again.
โ†“
dc185fe6-bc2d-4b03-9a74-38ef3691fe3b.gif
I should've just given birth to chimps.
โ†“
0b8d3230-ed9f-4831-a6b7-bf18702549ca.gif
Then at least I'd know to expect this kind of behavior.
โ†“
2d29653c-1861-4f2b-acc1-ae7eb9551b29.gif
Believe it or not, I actually envy Dewey.
โ†“
d1043c1b-5833-4dc0-a579-365827d17ccc.gif
He got to stay home and play with the babysitter.
โ†“
5c0720f5-f2e7-4f10-b4d1-1b1d14159611.gif
And then the ambulance came, but there was this balloon.
โ†“
faeb811c-db2f-4cbe-8f85-61d6911f42d8.gif
And then I was chasing it,
โ†“
64c68c3f-e596-4a49-b2aa-1a0878b83768.gif
and then I didn't know where I was.
โ†“
b549e9b2-376f-4d4d-b794-bde9714a60cf.gif
And then I chased a bag,
โ†“
70a18811-9717-4b76-aff2-7be830c48d70.gif
and then I really didn't know where I was.
โ†“
60c97cdb-775b-4521-962a-591fcfc21dfd.gif
Then I saw you, and I thought maybe you could help me
โ†“
354c4193-48b8-4bc0-b6ff-ff817242c933.gif
because you helped that other girl, the one in the movie.
โ†“
cdff9e59-23b9-49fb-8c57-98de18061aaa.gif
So if you could just come to life and help me,
โ†“
e0a5beef-d50c-40ac-804f-758cbe95b56d.gif
I'd really appreciate it.
โ†“
c4c6b44b-6847-4a52-a807-cc26475746f1.gif
Thanks anyway.
โ†“
da40df32-1dd1-4bf6-b7e9-c0c005d2617b.gif
โ™ช Yes, no, maybe โ™ช
โ†“
7afcfc7d-96c2-4810-b610-89e4b8b1c3d1.gif
โ™ช I don't know โ™ช
โ†“
9de096de-3325-4603-b982-637aca8bdca2.gif
โ™ช Can you repeat the question? โ™ช
โ†“
5c819e53-3014-4d96-a744-69e5eb117fe8.gif
โ™ช Life is unfair โ™ช
โ†“
28f9f59d-fadf-4ffa-83ff-0f3beee6d677.gif
We have to run the heater, so the radiator doesn't boil over.
โ†“
3c84e663-e493-4223-b944-d9e9cdd08922.gif
Hal, stop swerving.
โ†“
ee84440f-b8a9-4415-a829-43b9a6bdbc19.gif
Just pull over, let him pass.
โ†“
6d0e125f-6e35-45d3-bfdd-eba95501250e.gif
Just let him pass.
โ†“
81da9c5a-2f7d-4559-8ba0-70b9012571be.gif
โ™ช A, B, C, D โ™ช
โ†“
85b93c15-0fb6-4e5a-822d-11679ce2bda7.gif
โ™ช A, B, C, D โ™ช
โ†“
7effa3a7-19cb-4eed-9882-8e08eaf3cbf4.gif
โ™ช A, B, C, D... โ™ช
โ†“
1c042faa-dffa-40c5-8bbf-db1d256bcdde.gif
โ™ช A, B, C, D... โ™ช
โ†“
ff9d8074-01cb-43c4-b0e4-5626d42f1b52.gif
โ™ช A, B, C, D โ™ช
โ†“
7368b676-e06f-4477-9fa2-ca85584bc078.gif
โ™ช A, B, C, D... โ™ช
โ†“
fca40839-07db-4c88-9172-fa650b2fcccf.gif
It's E, dear.
โ†“
44de801f-8547-4a2d-b95f-fc3fe06c9379.gif
โ™ช A, B, C, D, E โ™ช
โ†“
da2f3c37-d23b-4157-b677-d242d8bc006e.gif
โ™ช E โ™ช
โ†“
5007797b-3bcd-46f2-aa32-05045799f920.gif
I know.
โ†“
fd915986-521b-420c-9040-405b8aa7d6a1.gif
โ™ช A, B, C, D โ™ช
โ†“
a89878be-7c9b-4b64-967e-1e70e997c5a7.gif
โ™ช A, B, C, D... โ™ช
โ†“
e0b7b007-14c2-4415-b1fa-bb29b92a455f.gif
"Sugar, corn syrup and gelatin."
โ†“
e6ee0490-e4fb-4d66-be19-c8d3f2d032dc.gif
How can something so simple be so delicious?
โ†“
4fcdabee-9002-44c8-b0aa-de9cb475a6f6.gif
That stuff's nasty, Francis.
โ†“
c23d044c-0e53-4426-a94a-78a4402e6a22.gif
To the unsophisticated palate, yes,
โ†“
aef0ba56-bf76-4136-8029-97fe4eae5230.gif
but to me, the Candy Quack is nature's perfect food.
โ†“
129bd5ad-5c56-4808-9ee0-68b4b196f8df.gif
I could eat a hundred of them.
โ†“
b8c41d85-f56b-48f7-960e-01be53b2b723.gif
No way. All that marshmallow would expand in your stomach.
โ†“
9c3d9eaa-3720-48c7-b9ae-b81836a33b36.gif
- You wouldn't get past 50. - There's where you're wrong, Joe.
โ†“
40766c55-0011-4442-a4f5-aadd17c67c51.gif
See, the marshmallow wouldn't expand. It would dissolve.
โ†“
e8cea402-0627-4144-b3a8-b3397369571d.gif
I'd never get full. In fact, I don't--
โ†“
ed1c7b20-c8ca-4d53-8d43-4b419cdd16d1.gif
Will you just shut up!
โ†“
8a513e2e-802c-4562-b0ba-4596320d9a26.gif
I have sat back and said nothing while you've gone on and on
โ†“
a9bf3679-0998-4d4a-947f-1f0cc1614cd0.gif
about how you can eat a hundred of this
โ†“
d656f048-95a5-480d-ae0c-4a3da76a2a90.gif
and lift a hundred of that.
โ†“
e3c36000-1e49-40e4-8255-5bdda85f2404.gif
The Quacks would expand.
โ†“
0694ad88-f25a-4850-aa7f-cadac8eb822d.gif
You're an idiot if you think different.
โ†“
6a13d2f8-3320-4362-a669-101794a22146.gif
Okay, let me tell you something.
โ†“
85a7ba16-d54e-4c30-b68e-c2fe6d70fc70.gif
If I say I can eat a hundred Quacks,
โ†“
808be222-9833-4110-890e-72ada6fb5566.gif
you can take that as a bona fide guarantee.
โ†“
f4e2ec06-276c-40a8-b943-f2cc38e34b20.gif
And there's no need to resort to personal attacks,
โ†“
5eb17467-199b-49bf-a579-c581cb7109bd.gif
because I'd hate to raise the whole issue of you wearing boxers
โ†“
a6bb65e9-f327-4038-8e71-bfd89d7806e9.gif
in the shower.
โ†“
c73fd03d-f602-4378-bc57-ad7b55064051.gif
That was so cool.
โ†“
bebe568d-7bee-47fe-8aa4-beb33ce739f6.gif
Did you see that truck jackknife and flip over,
โ†“
ab9f3bd4-4097-48b1-b340-f4d95c823ede.gif
and that wheel fly through the air?
โ†“
37c484ca-eeae-4a87-bebf-d0d653a41e19.gif
An explosion would've been nice, but you can't have everything.
โ†“
25d56e75-a95f-41a3-a189-a4240b5e9ea8.gif
Yeah, Reese, this is great.
โ†“
4192920e-81c2-4947-b2eb-4712a2fff8fa.gif
Now we're stuck here for hours
โ†“
48aa658b-c30a-464f-bd3c-139aa3381666.gif
with no food and no air conditioning.
โ†“
9a4e0460-081d-4f7c-9bdb-dcbb16dcf301.gif
I guess it could be worse.
โ†“
ee98215b-d48b-4645-9f1d-ff16bd61bbc8.gif
I could be the guy in the silver Toyota.
โ†“
8318b4b3-76b3-4ec8-af53-682ca4e5e97b.gif
Why can't you just open one lane?
โ†“
96e272da-2e3b-4de1-a34f-46fc0be66eda.gif
Lady, we have to wait for the crane before we can open this road to traffic.
โ†“
e8ab33d8-59b1-4c56-abea-5992ce8c6206.gif
Just move a couple of those police cars,
โ†“
afae063e-dbb8-4403-ab70-a93e38d75552.gif
there'd be enough room to just pass on the shoulder.
โ†“
00864b6c-876f-4605-94c8-c98ccb48eb17.gif
- This is just plain stupid. - Ma'am,
โ†“
90f00672-0534-495b-86bc-0c1626a74fe7.gif
don't call a police officer stupid.
โ†“
6945680d-572a-436e-990a-0096ea44fbc2.gif
What, that's a law now?
โ†“
e5147e06-cdec-4405-aa79-6e67e51f6120.gif
Look, my freshman year, I ate seven pounds of grapes in one sitting.
โ†“
2c144b36-666f-4e98-b1b9-217841bb3c72.gif
I know what my body is capable of.
โ†“
67e0b6aa-3f05-4994-bf60-050b7d7277ca.gif
We're not talking about grapes, Francis. We're talking about pure sucrose.
โ†“
1d898432-1cce-44c9-abec-ab902b5aea24.gif
The human body simply cannot absorb the sugar in 100 Quacks.
โ†“
1b6739cd-d0af-4b39-82f7-c034cf9e7943.gif
Yeah!
โ†“
4c48a3a9-f430-4f40-af7c-1061040a8132.gif
Hey, in extreme cases,
โ†“
4838f19c-631a-49f9-a721-69a56e015d7b.gif
the human pancreas has been known to increase its insulin production
โ†“
03a21478-8066-4f5b-a498-87047654efb5.gif
by up to 60 percent.
โ†“
032ee606-741b-490d-9e0d-648ff4874b7b.gif
Yeah!
โ†“
18319310-16a2-40dc-82ea-eb12c19849e0.gif
Your pancreas can produce enough insulin to fill a swimming pool.
โ†“
50f420e2-5ca0-459e-bf74-6f1de154e79e.gif
That doesn't mean squat
โ†“
354e146d-9e81-4ae7-b4f6-facd650c005b.gif
if your adrenal gland can't distribute it into your bloodstream fast enough!
โ†“
ea71ca0f-38cb-48bb-a2ff-b3ba94dad820.gif
Yeah!
โ†“
96320222-0023-4773-a621-c2c4723f2ead.gif
Gentlemen, gentlemen!
โ†“
2f7e367b-75f5-4a16-8e73-e83edd7d3dbd.gif
This argument is pointless.
โ†“
c9c2cf40-8978-45f3-89ed-7e11b90cd7b7.gif
One.
โ†“
a0e3fca4-b5bd-40fe-a048-1c3f3286cdb7.gif
Look, they're just standing around.
โ†“
4d6f7f7a-3562-4cd9-9ea6-f18868be10c8.gif
Yeah, 500 cars full of people who have someplace to go,
โ†“
42d32d57-f823-44c8-8b2c-73b35b7217ac.gif
and they're just standing there talking.
โ†“
09e7849a-f15f-44eb-bd15-7c84050a8dee.gif
What is there to discuss?
โ†“
7da697a8-38f2-4829-9285-b32d76fec46f.gif
Hey! Let me clear something up for you! This is a car wreck!
โ†“
69ffda6a-95dd-4a2c-9331-a7a574323cea.gif
You're a road crew. Do your job!
โ†“
ed135e58-1ccc-4acb-a8cd-62805ec2c045.gif
Are you even listening to me?
โ†“
d9b578c4-b038-490e-b15c-f614fa5607df.gif
- That could've been me. - Yeah, well, it could've been all of us.
โ†“
e0f0a948-4597-4a6d-a798-fc50d851dbbb.gif
Nope.
โ†“
d6cc3c5f-4723-44b1-afc8-0ab016a6d508.gif
No, that car was sliced right through the driver's seat.
โ†“
04e1f32e-d44d-43e8-870a-5550b6e86c06.gif
You and the boys would've walked away without a scratch.
โ†“
675c6f8a-09b8-4286-8011-c1d7b39901f6.gif
This totally sucks. It's like an oven out here.
โ†“
1035f283-3ba0-4c4d-b06e-f5530ac58c9b.gif
What is the point of wandering aimlessly through traffic?
โ†“
e61085bc-c0a5-4f96-9d30-b065228af0a9.gif
So we can find cool stuff like this.
โ†“
de9a5222-94fe-4d25-ba6c-c26aa10c4aea.gif
Smells like gasoline.
โ†“
d627e108-0dca-4102-8fef-73559d6a84e5.gif
Reese, can't we just go back to the car?
โ†“
49a3f7ac-db77-4239-a024-345eca0dba70.gif
- My feet are killing me-- - Ice cream man!
โ†“
888e1300-26db-4a1a-8311-f8a27de1cb8d.gif
Go away!
โ†“
358075a1-60ae-4984-9731-ee1b4d6c8e84.gif
There is no ice cream in the truck!
โ†“
976b5f82-2bb7-45ba-af64-3b7ac40a0dee.gif
He's lying!
โ†“
e0615ad7-52c7-4aa0-8f11-f5ebd2a60c65.gif
There's tons of ice cream in there!
โ†“
c1e0e0c4-f628-4ca7-8004-658ffbffbd0c.gif
The ice cream in the truck
โ†“
7a024a14-d36f-4e09-9c50-ad9119c03fb2.gif
is not for sale!
โ†“
ecfae47b-79a6-4da7-ad21-84b4bd5c19d5.gif
It is against the law
โ†“
0fc4f117-4d60-4ad0-a9be-965748455f99.gif
for me to sell ice cream in the middle of traffic!
โ†“
cf282b52-50d9-4809-aabe-c3bc2e0979c0.gif
This is just wrong!
โ†“
49dd44fe-b3d1-48e0-b35b-0a61283e4606.gif
You could make money and please children. This is a senseless act.
โ†“
c76a7f35-8f00-4c8c-ac8b-06a964dac7c0.gif
You are evil, pure evil!
โ†“
d81f642e-3807-4e4a-b4ca-68fec90623a5.gif
Well, if you kids are not willing to discuss this sensibly...
โ†“
7168d69d-604d-4e43-82a2-ab74b55b6a61.gif
You son of a...
โ†“
47c4e99a-692c-476f-aa1a-071e91c80353.gif
Look, there's nothing you can do.
โ†“
02ab1448-37aa-4dc8-bdf2-c3aeb383ce56.gif
Yes, there is. I can... I can...
โ†“
bdbe978f-0701-4900-80e1-1ffaa6552717.gif
And the Nobel Prize goes to...
โ†“
d9b1343f-ecc5-4a96-b673-102901db08d5.gif
Hey, you're talking about my brother.
โ†“
64063b7a-26f8-467a-b69e-77d02d432d4b.gif
Good one.
โ†“
8add8ff1-bcc5-4801-987b-6d194b555cfa.gif
I'm Jessica, gray Volvo.
โ†“
540b5f6b-6c9a-480a-a477-1b64d5f28cc4.gif
Malcolm, crappy minivan.
โ†“
6179182f-251b-49c7-9d08-ee12d7c687ce.gif
Do you wanna go check out the crash site?
โ†“
c8b2748f-6dbd-4a7e-97e7-62eb0e17ad71.gif
Sure. You know, my dad practically caused it.
โ†“
28fbe91f-d29b-4914-8d9f-c9ce0fb501fc.gif
Wow.
โ†“
e83bf4d6-b16f-45f1-bce0-fa39519a73f9.gif
What time is it now?
โ†“
d13316f8-11ed-4cce-9a56-fa847d758d8f.gif
It's still 4:00.
โ†“
83d3d0bc-e1cd-4c25-8ed4-5271b017e89d.gif
You have to wait at least a minute
โ†“
977cb79a-7b6d-49b5-b1d3-690d48d83426.gif
- for the time to change, dear. - What time is it in China?
โ†“
26e8efef-d20d-463a-9bbb-aa376a0be723.gif
Well, sweetie,
โ†“
f609622b-639b-436b-b166-e5bca87d389f.gif
- I think they're a good 20 hour-- - Do you speak Chinese?
โ†“
4d791279-b5bb-44ca-a546-59a44c195630.gif
- Well, no. I-- - Is Chinatown in China?
โ†“
170b84c9-3399-481a-ae98-6da8d1c77e08.gif
Honey, if you want an answer to a question,
โ†“
e26219d2-03b5-4cd1-b226-e9d085406195.gif
- you have to first wait-- - What does this toe do?
โ†“
73fcdaac-6aa5-4e20-bc9e-a6ed94643f74.gif
You know what? I need to buy a pack of cigarettes...
โ†“
11d023ed-345b-4585-a0ec-ae2c0110a121.gif
for the first time in 20 years.
โ†“
cfc095c8-6e52-4f5a-820a-b2416e4c6867.gif
Grape juice, please.
โ†“
3967a067-b646-42fc-b1d7-34db62e23ea2.gif
โ™ช Run, boy, run โ™ช
โ†“
04b22476-700d-43e5-b3d7-cf12e7f35958.gif
He's getting away!
โ†“
44562145-5fc4-4cc7-acca-12723424284a.gif
โ™ช The devil's in the house Of the rising sun โ™ช
โ†“
31b4a8eb-9376-4251-83cd-f1dcb897c5d6.gif
Whoo!
โ†“
2053ee45-5940-476a-91f2-ec7697097e9e.gif
Hello.
โ†“
223cf569-8306-45f9-ab12-b137f6abe771.gif
Think about it, Lois.
โ†“
126db20c-c024-47c7-be21-157707b64031.gif
I stopped to tie my shoe in the parking lot.
โ†“
b6372269-d8cc-4455-b8e7-91d5fe78dc76.gif
If I hadn't done that, we would've been on the road 20 seconds sooner.
โ†“
6964d88d-0496-475f-953c-b3bf5ddc5a5e.gif
I would've been 200 yards ahead of where I was,
โ†“
3c212cc2-eb9f-49de-83a8-bec4bfc20bbb.gif
and then I would've been the silver Toyota.
โ†“
cddd0997-a296-467b-84c8-ac4d91735aff.gif
And if you hadn't rented Body Heat, we never would have had Dewey.
โ†“
608432ca-0d71-4603-b346-9b0b12b7e187.gif
It's all an intricate tapestry, Hal.
โ†“
3899063c-4782-41e7-8adb-aa7ef3980454.gif
- Ma'am? - Yes.
โ†“
07e28f60-7593-4831-aada-46a05775df42.gif
Hello. Did you ask your supervisor?
โ†“
835ed0ae-ed0f-4004-9f28-7d78feb27040.gif
Yes, and this phone is for emergency roadside assistance only, ma'am.
โ†“
7f1ca4ce-1255-4493-9e54-30695f54636d.gif
I can't connect you to a private line.
โ†“
aab4f967-8c76-424d-8897-71257d5623ad.gif
Look, I have got to get through to my babysit--
โ†“
15746f1c-140f-43a9-8148-ba14dc831aa8.gif
Look. Just let me talk to the supervisor.
โ†“
07347988-79de-4b48-b72e-c7b583942df8.gif
One moment, ma'am.
โ†“
8f6300b8-285b-4bb8-86bf-9d72d5528a2b.gif
Hello. This is the supervisor.
โ†“
1dee1115-c46d-49ee-8f33-a5ce1f6b4682.gif
No, it isn't.
โ†“
1e6748b5-a722-470b-ae7c-629485de2751.gif
You're just disguising your voice.
โ†“
bca575a1-5c89-49c0-be06-671e272c234f.gif
No, I'm not. I'm really the supervisor.
โ†“
8e48ef94-73e6-4178-8e6b-a4fc8e3b11fb.gif
You can't do this!
โ†“
b7842366-2217-4f69-b6e2-14a171f751ba.gif
Ma'am, I'm about to be replaced by a machine.
โ†“
a858e7e3-6026-483d-8a2b-01cb21e029d2.gif
I can do whatever I damn well please.
โ†“
58c27219-7c88-453f-8d7f-6a9130ce4580.gif
Where do you think you're going, young lady?
โ†“
24ec6428-aa55-42e5-b1e0-5dea1359a70c.gif
It's okay. My dad's an investigator for the DOT.
โ†“
9cd33313-ec49-4f1b-9f26-4b5a244ddfec.gif
Oh, there he is. Hi, Daddy!
โ†“
4988b11d-d8b8-419c-8bde-8a5943fc1eeb.gif
Okay.
โ†“
bcf4bd7a-b506-4a6b-81e0-3216e18b66a3.gif
Whoa. Your dad's a crash investigator?
โ†“
b83196be-eae1-41bc-9aef-f89552ad9495.gif
Here's a little secret, Malcolm:
โ†“
c91e09af-e067-4fc7-8ade-46e8d6ce4c12.gif
whenever you want something, everybody's your dad.
โ†“
893b17af-88a3-41ea-9ed3-b8ae781a165e.gif
Hi, Daddy!
โ†“
468f4122-bed7-4828-b9ba-b3060d5048c9.gif
Okay, she's cute, she's smart, and she even lies to cops.
โ†“
e6db1637-82ee-4ef9-8b8c-6ace4c80e16e.gif
I may be in over my head here.
โ†“
1e9fc7f4-de27-4a55-a80b-43538ba407bd.gif
Forty-six!
โ†“
f7719b2b-ac75-44aa-a23f-8c0a903ae17f.gif
Forty-seven!
โ†“
14be2761-0078-41c8-a173-d9fbeea7dc6a.gif
Forty-eight!
โ†“
b5154e77-e92b-43bc-9274-4501b9b3b49d.gif
And when you're constantly moving from town to town,
โ†“
839ac0ec-51c0-4b4f-88db-9d0bad717281.gif
it's really hard to make friends.
โ†“
3c3b725e-aecf-4511-9103-e4f0cf5c7e1f.gif
So, yeah, I acted out, I guess.
โ†“
cd84a55d-cadf-494b-a9f1-14dcf7751758.gif
But who wouldn't in my situation?
โ†“
d3abc985-c36a-4f26-8a0d-a901dcd4608f.gif
- All right, I got to let you off here. - Okay.
โ†“
84d07356-129e-4706-8485-7cc21f93c2ed.gif
Sixty-one!
โ†“
04ddd9d2-d211-4163-9184-60f531ab4d12.gif
Sixty-two!
โ†“
9a64cc85-65af-4e90-99a2-8295561ed32c.gif
Sixty-three!
โ†“
65d7b99e-85c9-4d5b-808f-b4e9e6751b52.gif
Sixty-two!
โ†“
3687d4ed-81a3-4d74-814a-2416a567a95d.gif
Sixty-one!
โ†“
3a4574dc-03f6-4928-ae9b-6176e06fee11.gif
Sixty-two!
โ†“
0fbda4ee-cec3-4354-9f91-101abee1b007.gif
Sixty-three!
โ†“
21f02bb7-feb3-46f9-895b-9050a1b012a8.gif
Malcolm, you have got to check out this view.
โ†“
77ce08e4-ffa8-49db-a18a-45b6e25e0337.gif
Ow! I hate pricker bushes.
โ†“
f115faad-0de3-444b-8d39-453ccb32b79e.gif
What fruit are they trying to protect anyway?
โ†“
bd128451-aa14-442a-8833-8e8e4cca8f19.gif
Do you see anything on here worth protecting?
โ†“
8d38167e-5c98-45da-890c-4d6f8c0ee2b8.gif
- What are we doing up here? - Just enjoying the sights.
โ†“
d338b90d-250c-4976-a262-4cdd682b4a0c.gif
And check out that crazy lady.
โ†“
d7946731-77a7-464a-b342-a92c15fa6507.gif
- So tell me about this gifted class. - It's horrible.
โ†“
26330476-913e-43ad-8450-a85dfc729974.gif
I'm surrounded by Krelboynes.
โ†“
6053029c-2641-48e9-b941-ce378f995a25.gif
I have to do twice as much homework
โ†“
703b1027-c717-4350-8029-604031410a62.gif
as anyone else in my grade.
โ†“
7ff6ed29-35a0-4144-b345-ecb4d267fc2c.gif
I have to take college-prep classes...
โ†“
97fa6c97-2bdf-4472-9c6b-d5d9722c01ef.gif
What a nightmare. If you're not careful, you might get a scholarship to Harvard.
โ†“
107ac73e-cbd1-4576-b7d8-939c50d4cad5.gif
You don't understand.
โ†“
6aceb805-b712-4b0b-a349-75927469498b.gif
Malcolm, you've been bellyaching nonstop for an hour and a half.
โ†“
60cc94c6-6e27-4dd6-8042-146e72df9892.gif
- Seriously, all you do is bitch. - I happen to bitch the perfect amount
โ†“
0a6537ea-9a80-4f10-8c62-40d9d56fd7be.gif
for someone in my situation.
โ†“
4bccf62e-3191-4668-b04a-0756ef759d6e.gif
Today is the perfect example. Look at this mess.
โ†“
625459c1-60d3-49b2-b5f5-0828369acc1f.gif
What's good about this?
โ†“
b29026ba-6fe2-4ed4-a868-499fb233fe25.gif
Well...
โ†“
c8b59bb8-2bb5-4499-a098-3113e45e54d2.gif
if it weren't for this...
โ†“
4bd17df6-1479-46ba-8fd4-8c2f688baa80.gif
we never would have met.
โ†“
7c57ed77-36fa-45c2-9987-88cb481e6f2d.gif
How could I not see that coming?
โ†“
cc918111-6c0c-484d-9592-d62ad6569bf3.gif
This girl's incredible!
โ†“
69d04a50-29e4-4583-bd42-e1c7fee4b1be.gif
Ow!
โ†“
84feeec4-b090-43f5-9a1b-8b4bc686622c.gif
Ow!
โ†“
9f20490d-3944-4702-9f6e-cad8185a98c3.gif
Pricker bush.
โ†“
6618e0c3-1268-4aff-ae93-ec2844df4dfc.gif
And I keep rolling it around in my head. How much time do I have left?
โ†“
711cd512-97ff-4ae6-8a71-0a64c5ecec8e.gif
And what have I done with my life? What is my contribution?
โ†“
3330229a-d419-4764-97a3-59188a7eb36b.gif
You go home at night knowing
โ†“
9d723c3a-3252-4ccf-9d73-8edd2830d2e5.gif
that you have helped to make the world a better place
โ†“
a034a75f-db23-46d9-a90a-86f6dffc7e3f.gif
by forging that thin blue line,
โ†“
5b9f880d-7bd4-4303-a219-8af6f61410c5.gif
and that is real, man.
โ†“
d5c4f07f-5d2b-4b6d-88f0-76ad57dd3712.gif
If I could just once feel that sense of accomplishment, it...
โ†“
2ad4c052-3f2f-4679-a134-fc2f51e0b2c2.gif
Do you know how special you are? Do you?
โ†“
0970d667-971c-4a63-ab67-7dc43bc5cdb6.gif
Z...
โ†“
83dc04ee-0837-4f27-9808-894e0b8f33f6.gif
Y...
โ†“
ffc965c1-0ba8-454c-8f7b-f237efc7e85a.gif
X...
โ†“
32227867-05cb-4378-97cf-dfa641a2196f.gif
W...
โ†“
59cdc668-9392-45c9-8c3c-d90f8acb7738.gif
Let me get this straight.
โ†“
1b3c98be-607d-42aa-b565-10c5f4a918d2.gif
We have been waiting all afternoon for a crane,
โ†“
1cfa9a39-b46c-4e33-8a39-6063f61ba537.gif
- and now the crane is here. - That's right.
โ†“
2e134476-9ea0-402c-a1f5-68457fef1a4f.gif
And the man who works the crane, he's here too.
โ†“
69a3029f-5130-4f73-b1cd-29ef3fc1c0ec.gif
That's right.
โ†“
fbbd2739-d859-4960-8c54-4c868f9fc093.gif
Then why is nothing happening?
โ†“
6f1c344b-ce36-481b-bcd0-b229030575d1.gif
Look, we can't touch anything
โ†“
d949f27c-cdfc-4dc9-85cf-c1caa6544870.gif
until the investigators sign off on the accident report.
โ†“
2c31eecd-1348-4541-8ae3-dc2b037ebd24.gif
But they must have been done hours ago. Where are they?
โ†“
828faffd-fcbf-4360-a1f2-f974e04b7a70.gif
That's a whole other department. It's really not my job to know.
โ†“
b4bd37f4-c40a-4f26-9689-3a7d6f08af04.gif
Start the crane.
โ†“
fc72437b-e8eb-47fa-ae8d-bf651a34457c.gif
You can't tell me what to do.
โ†“
f12b8134-e15e-461a-beb0-cdd91c8f3704.gif
Hey, not so fast, Charlie!
โ†“
b5b3cd55-12c1-4ff4-80a9-a48d5d3e3e7c.gif
- Let go of me! - What do you think you're doing, huh?
โ†“
edd4b1e7-3d9d-490f-8fe0-f1e3d83ce062.gif
- Nothing! I'm just going for a walk! - What's going on?
โ†“
da192a9c-f29f-4361-a8ef-e67b338618d8.gif
This kid was trying to break into your truck.
โ†“
57883175-2085-4b70-b518-4db0820f68ee.gif
Let go of me! I just want some damn ice cream.
โ†“
962ae2f5-f4a7-4bc7-a6f6-fc4d73cd7d29.gif
You don't deserve ice cream.
โ†“
754ff844-80bc-4f30-a959-820671793c23.gif
- You don't deserve to be an ice cream man! - Ow!
โ†“
a481fdf6-b687-4d96-a272-45769974f0a7.gif
Come here, you little punk!
โ†“
a6a5ebb5-5adf-4f18-aa74-646c9deb24c1.gif
That will teach you to mess with me!
โ†“
f9801c33-2025-4756-879a-60273dd9b5e5.gif
I was a surgeon in my country!
โ†“
43d5a42a-30ea-4278-8ab4-24b2443896bb.gif
Way to go!
โ†“
324b8179-ec72-4392-876f-0748a6f633e7.gif
- Hit me again. - Come on! Come on!
โ†“
5ae7a2f3-9d36-4720-8ab3-7a5551dd2751.gif
Ha! Looks like the human body can only accept 96 Quacks.
โ†“
5db4cee5-f2c1-4e71-87ed-e7d5a71b23ba.gif
Check and mate.
โ†“
3dfcdedf-9c15-4057-b3b5-0b4b724ea1f5.gif
Come on, Francis, just four more.
โ†“
da435e69-ad60-4088-b2a1-8d634aeb16a2.gif
You can do it.
โ†“
78a88f2c-e9bb-492c-b949-870ce482eb6f.gif
I can't...
โ†“
aef26713-00f1-4170-8f38-f24dbf8b5d59.gif
Quacks...
โ†“
fdb3b6e0-d52b-45c2-9430-34dab8c78ab2.gif
Dying...
โ†“
6d0051ae-1f29-45b5-aec9-ab7f5eb6ca58.gif
Hey, no one said he had to eat all the Quacks.
โ†“
9b904f66-bc56-470d-9cad-0a0fd704d0ba.gif
They just have to be inside his body, right?
โ†“
2f373cea-47f8-4bc9-ac97-8545c6a1ffd1.gif
- Yeah. - That's right.
โ†“
dc4fadfe-e31a-491a-831d-43531e00d72c.gif
He did it!
โ†“
0518c71b-c28b-436c-a053-576a1bf1103c.gif
- 100 Quacks! - Yeah!
โ†“
5d5d8a47-72ad-410c-9203-9201e0e3565a.gif
You got heart.
โ†“
d385bbf4-58b0-4707-a12c-32dd6f21be7b.gif
Hey, way to go, Francis.
โ†“
d062b027-1a4c-4318-8462-3a61c6b1e363.gif
Man, that was way cooler than the time Davis did a thousand sit-ups.
โ†“
5ceca345-c170-4244-acda-7bedb97eb8b3.gif
Impossible.
โ†“
4a7b0961-7ed8-46b2-ac86-608b6b3ee40b.gif
Davis is in pretty good shape, but a thousand sit-ups?
โ†“
29707b58-d26b-48d5-ba91-0feee29e083e.gif
You're just begging for a double hernia.
โ†“
0db543a8-d4ff-4b52-9b46-9920ae5acee3.gif
It's that kind of small-minded thinking
โ†“
64a5bbd7-558a-4387-9153-b1de10fb55cc.gif
that keeps you from recognizing true greatness.
โ†“
c5f3cec7-eaa2-4ac1-bd40-de36590cead1.gif
Come on. What are you talking about?
โ†“
2f275a1f-599a-42ec-b60c-ded61b883040.gif
You're always arguing about something, man.
โ†“
4a062678-1595-4b33-ac96-11a906a774ff.gif
- A thousand sit-ups? You crazy? - You can't be happy for anybody.
โ†“
5446259b-5994-4b21-9a33-e8bc44ebf19a.gif
Pleasure doing business with you, Kyle.
โ†“
fc35b949-e1f6-4644-8148-0a1ce9e42907.gif
Nice moves out there, Erin.
โ†“
01098c08-0ce5-44c4-809b-0e929126b5ed.gif
And here's your share, Mr. Wells.
โ†“
4f301e2f-4188-48a2-a6ba-3b58b94e225a.gif
That man left us no choice.
โ†“
e8598ff4-cbd4-423d-a583-05feb4b29edd.gif
Try the green one!
โ†“
b282b158-bfeb-4cb3-9a08-b04d6c4692ae.gif
Come on out of there, ma'am.
โ†“
6eb8b8f5-8465-447e-8670-335ef53d4c5d.gif
You order them to move this thing!
โ†“
774cfa6c-5671-428a-a376-0a180c2de9d5.gif
Let's just get you out of the crane, and then we'll have a little talk.
โ†“
5cea661d-dd6e-4f95-9158-9bf16de6c116.gif
Don't you dare patronize me.
โ†“
255da825-9c50-4cd4-9389-2777fdfd06d9.gif
You don't want to be patronized? I'll be blunt. You're a control freak.
โ†“
a385f8a8-c23a-4d69-ab8a-1686b4ad163b.gif
I see them all the time.
โ†“
34f3788c-63f4-4b3a-ad02-e97907fa953a.gif
But guess what? This is a traffic jam.
โ†“
6e46d888-d9ff-4600-9768-5990706d1d78.gif
- It is out of your control. - Yeah, but I--
โ†“
69ac44c6-23e9-45e9-9dfb-7408f3d56d42.gif
You can't boss it around.
โ†“
c5b95371-423b-4964-ba0f-e1ad5ad56f68.gif
You can't yell at it and expect it to listen.
โ†“
c9def99d-6407-418c-a10e-3870dbe37577.gif
- I have been-- - It will end when it ends!
โ†“
e5d9c41a-4220-4f4e-95d5-2e8e106ef73e.gif
You just have to live with it.
โ†“
105ee131-1b96-4f14-83a6-57c08182b2e1.gif
There's absolutely nothing you can do about it.
โ†“
a98a233a-9266-4f08-bc78-912fc9cfaa11.gif
Whose damn dog is this?
โ†“
c1a798e0-a25e-4786-be2a-ace768ba8477.gif
I said, whose damn dog is this?
โ†“
652faf7a-68b4-4a77-8c2f-35dbb676a789.gif
He's trapped inside. All the windows are rolled up.
โ†“
b69051e9-8986-422b-9dc7-9b482a451ccb.gif
It's, like, 90 degrees out here!
โ†“
0dc0c069-88c7-4eae-af15-894bfa94aa26.gif
Okay, okay,
โ†“
42d60eb7-f464-4971-9fd4-33df1ec32c09.gif
it is nobody's damn dog.
โ†“
8a1e01a7-f15f-4e8e-ab56-1a1ff3cbc7fd.gif
Then I guess nobody's gonna mind if I just do this!
โ†“
f5125674-fcdf-41ec-a7dd-2d9843caa66e.gif
Oh. Don't be scared, little doggy.
โ†“
99a93f5a-1169-4cb4-b5eb-a8fc6e1126c7.gif
Oh, no. Everything's going to be--
โ†“
409ccacc-3d3d-4cf4-9631-f234de3be5f4.gif
Oh, poor thing.
โ†“
70fa8261-3a90-45df-bcda-97ff80fa7420.gif
Okay, I got it.
โ†“
cb625c03-9970-4192-aaf6-5e3eaf99de8a.gif
I was hoping I could deliver a baby in a taxicab or something,
โ†“
187c5567-4d9a-45be-974e-2baf671beab1.gif
but a life is a life.
โ†“
1c4b278d-5198-4498-8b98-9410fd7cfeb6.gif
Oh, now look at you. How did you get like this?
โ†“
2b0dba7b-f346-4dec-a5b7-6492df48dad4.gif
There you go, pal.
โ†“
cd223121-3708-4511-b4ed-b21a79599b14.gif
I'm impressed. You actually have a working first-aid kit.
โ†“
f9cd7718-1832-474d-a940-db83334123b0.gif
We used to, but my brother ate all the Band-Aids.
โ†“
6d26bdf7-68a3-4951-a7e5-03075d191cce.gif
I think you'll live.
โ†“
53ce3c02-5481-4af0-aa41-331f2485bb70.gif
You know, I was thinking,
โ†“
1ca86557-48cd-4317-9aee-782666584653.gif
maybe sometime we can do something. It'd be cool if--
โ†“
d995f4cf-2a3e-4439-973c-17dd2a0c71df.gif
You're from Canada?
โ†“
114ff08c-fb0f-4439-9079-e1ef5ff5c279.gif
We're here on vacation.
โ†“
c75c9ad0-e53e-4dee-988a-a0d2b545557b.gif
Why didn't you tell me?
โ†“
111d2215-9c47-4cc4-a00e-85f38a75be56.gif
You would have spent the whole day grousing.
โ†“
b7852f7b-a4d9-4862-86e8-ee72fa3c8a00.gif
I knew this was too good to be true.
โ†“
9b66016b-c686-4da5-8ba2-636da80c1e04.gif
I mean, why should I get to meet someone
โ†“
f68f9fc6-f1a3-4fd1-a518-163f10b02d6e.gif
who's smart, funny, not a Krelboyne, not a member of my family?
โ†“
625e3e5f-0854-4400-96b6-15b1bb009e06.gif
But we did meet, Malcolm, and it was awesome.
โ†“
58ca0bc3-4e66-47c9-8ae2-3fa3477260c4.gif
It's okay to enjoy something even if it's just for a little while.
โ†“
797214db-8931-42c5-94fa-a156f255d6db.gif
Come on, we had fun.
fun
โ†“
549a691e-c1b3-4c21-8052-363d7e7c2eae.gif
No, we didn't.
โ†“
759cc9a9-0c76-44c5-83e7-33f6e5675eba.gif
You just said we did.
โ†“
67ff5832-e4ac-428a-8941-a71fb7674fec.gif
That was before I knew this was all a big waste of time.
โ†“
f9f0afc5-99b9-49b2-8ee6-adf56b074270.gif
Doogie, come back to the car, honey.
โ†“
0758608f-2840-40d8-bf12-3647e9d20692.gif
Bobby, get a move on, sport.
โ†“
d4130f0d-e017-4ecc-b04c-4ee864315769.gif
Malcolm! Reese! Move!
โ†“
84711471-521b-4c38-83ba-e081a2a26656.gif
I gotta go.
โ†“
a67cf0d0-ff96-45ed-a1d5-9fb80665052e.gif
Just pull out, Hal.
โ†“
400fbab1-cb77-4b90-8b72-d684f59a04b9.gif
I am waiting my turn.
โ†“
3b5bb4d0-faee-4406-ac79-86bcd7b3ce54.gif
Malcolm!
โ†“
0c966209-a8a4-4d13-b772-7228e243665e.gif
Malcolm! Here's my phone number! Call me!
โ†“
d46a879a-fbfc-4cec-baea-75c6cc1452cc.gif
That was so much fun!
fun
โ†“
bfc59d42-c78d-4dd5-b432-d23e44f00a34.gif
Who would have thought a traffic jam would be so cool?
โ†“
7568d074-d83b-4b22-a8e8-1033ec9e1dec.gif
We should totally do this again.
โ†“
15b31b62-8089-400d-9fce-72e7c9ff7fbc.gif
When are we going on another road trip?
โ†“
cfa6614f-918b-470d-a641-860dec8071c6.gif
Oh, how about next week?
โ†“
0bc87d14-f6d7-40fd-bf35-0919d48353c9.gif
See you, kid.
โ†“
1b29d39d-ae74-412a-9c3d-e7efb8d45598.gif
Bye, Santa!
โ†“
950557df-9072-42aa-aca1-587497c6ab68.gif
Hi, Mom.
โ†“
566d3f4f-1cff-4c2b-83a6-99aff4fd5bd1.gif
Dewey, where's the babysitter?
โ†“
6fe3026b-e662-41c6-bdf1-6ab165222afa.gif
She went away.
โ†“
69a05da2-213a-404a-8bdc-b65bc056b265.gif
You got rid of another babysitter?
โ†“
e80ae194-9ceb-4abc-9f1f-651b64af41ae.gif
- What is wrong with you kids? - Then I drove off with a potato chip man.
โ†“
4215f4d1-83a0-4b5c-914b-0ca3cf72afed.gif
Then I picked apples.
โ†“
75064d6a-9f0e-47d7-9718-77e72a741c55.gif
Then we all went to jail.
โ†“
6dd85d31-7854-4600-ae39-180e23878876.gif
Then I played the...