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Home » It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia » S14E07 — The Gang Solves Global Warming

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Season 14, Episode 7 — The Gang Solves Global Warming

TMDB episode metadata

Show: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Episode title: The Gang Solves Global Warming

Air date: November 06, 2019

Director: Pete Chatmon

Top billed cast: Charlie Day, Glenn Howerton, Rob Mac, Kaitlin Olson, Danny DeVito

As a record-breaking heat wave overtakes Philly, the Gang plans to profit from global warming by pumping up the A/C so people will congregate at Paddy's and save energy at home.

Source: TMDB

↓

101.3 WNFY weather report.

report weather

↓

It's a scorcher out there, already 102 degrees.

degrees

↓

Residents are being asked to keep their thermostats

asked residents thermostats

↓

at 76 degrees to conserve energy.

degrees energy

↓

Ah, man, global warming. It's out of control.

control global global-warming warming

↓

Yeah. It's hot, baby.

baby

↓

Guys, we don't really have to worry about global warming,

global global-warming warming worry

↓

because... yes, is the Earth getting unbearably hot?

earth

↓

Of course it is. But it's all a part of God's plan.

course gods gods-plan part plan

↓

Look, if God wants to roast us like turkeys,

roast turkeys wants

↓

there's got to be a good reason for it.

reason

↓

That's easy for you to say; you're young.

easy young

↓

You know who's gonna get hurt the worst?

hurt worst

↓

- Old people. - Old people?

↓

- Yeah. - No, it's the younger generation that's gonna suffer

generation suffer younger

↓

- from global warming the most. - Whoa-whoa-whoa, hey.

global global-warming warming whoa whoa-whoa whoa-whoa-whoa

↓

Listen, there's no reason to fight, okay?

fight reason

↓

We're actually living at a very exciting time right now.

exciting living

↓

I mean, we're all finally in agreement

agreement finally

↓

that climate change is real.

change climate climate-change real

↓

Well, yes, the 25 years of climate science

climate science years

↓

finally caught up with my opinions, and, Dennis,

caught dennis finally finally-caught opinions

↓

when opinions meet facts, that's when you get truth.

facts meet opinions truth

↓

- Oh, God. - Wow.

↓

Yeah, yeah. But the good news is, hey,

news

↓

for the first time I can remember,

remember

↓

we all have the same truth.

truth

↓

- Yeah. Yeah. - Yeah.

↓

- That's nice, right? Yeah. - How 'bout that?

bout

↓

And, look, while some people are saying,

↓

"Look, we're staring down the barrel

barrel staring

↓

of a global catastrophe here," that is true, but I think

catastrophe global

↓

if we all work together, we can solve this problem.

problem solve

↓

Guys, we can beat the heat.

beat heat

↓

Oh! Hey!

↓

- Hey-hey-hey-hey-hey! - * The heat is on *

heat

↓

* On the street *

street

↓

- * To stay alive * - _

alive

↓

_

↓

* 'Cause the heat is on *

heat

↓

* Whoo! *

whoo

↓

* Oh-whoa-ho, oh-whoa-ho *

whoa

↓

* Tell me can you feel it, tell me can you feel it *

↓

* Tell me can you feel it *

↓

* The heat is on. *

heat

↓

_

↓

Guys?

↓

Feeling that? Nice and cool, huh?

cool feeling

↓

Turned the AC way down.

turned

↓

Yeah, I don't know why we're wasting our AC on strangers.

strangers wasting

↓

No, Frank, we're not wasting it.

frank wasting

↓

No-no-no-no. We're adapting to climate change.

change climate climate-change

↓

People are animals.

animals

↓

When push comes to shove,

comes push shove

↓

- there's no "together." - No-no-no, see, listen.

↓

By-by-by cranking the AC down below the recommended,

cranking recommended

↓

uh, settings, and getting the word out

settings word

↓

that Paddy's has the best AC in town,

best paddys town

↓

we're actually helping our business

business helping

↓

and helping the environment.

environment helping

↓

No, that doesn't work. Shame's better.

↓

Like I do with my shoes, you know what I mean?

shoes

↓

How would I know what you mean?

↓

My shoes that are made out of recyclable materials.

materials shoes

↓

I did a whole Instagram Story about it.

instagram story whole

↓

Talking about how great the shoes are,

shoes

↓

making people feel stupid for not having them.

having stupid

↓

You know, you remember.

remember

↓

Who the fuck do you think is watching your... What?!

fuck watching

↓

- Not-not one person on Earth is... - Get out of here.

earth person

↓

What are you talking about? Plus, how is there any plastic

plastic plus

↓

left in the ocean after they used it

left ocean used

↓

to cover your gargantuan feet?

cover feet

↓

Yeah, big feet. Hey, guys, though,

feet

↓

we got a little bit of a problem.

problem

↓

Uh, there's, like, a, I don't know, like, a backup

backup

↓

of the water lines or something. The ice machine's broken.

broken lines machines machines-broken water

↓

We don't have any ice.

↓

Oh, shit. Okay, well, just, uh, call the store

store

↓

and have them deliver some ice.

deliver

↓

And make more waste by having a big smoke-spewing truck

having smoke spewing truck waste

↓

deliver ice to us when we could just simply get off our asses

asses deliver simply

↓

and go get it ourselves? Hey, guys,

↓

listen, I just wanted to talk about the importance

importance wanted

↓

of not only talking the talk, but also walking the walk.

walk walking

↓

Oh. As I'm saying that, it's reminding me

reminding

↓

I'm loving my new eco-friendly shoes.

friendly loving shoes

↓

See there? Not only am I helping the environment,

environment helping

↓

I could also get some free swag

free

↓

- if I keep it up, play my cards right. - That's awesome.

awesome cards

↓

You're such an awesome eco-warrior.

awesome warrior

↓

And since you want to walk the walk,

walk

↓

why don't you walk to the store and pick us up some ice?

pick store walk

↓

- I just might. - Okay, then do it.

might

↓

- Maybe I will. - Get out and go!

↓

Could even do an Instagram Story about it on my way there.

instagram story

↓

Oh, super cool!

cool super super-cool

↓

- Go! - Fine. - Go, go and go

↓

- and go and go and go and go and go, go, go and go. - Fine!

↓

Charlie, come with me; I need someone to video me

charlie video

↓

so I look more professional.

professional

↓

I don't want to do that.

↓

We'll do a Story about Purina,

story

↓

tag them, and get you a free case of cat food.

case food free

↓

- Done. - Hmm.

↓

Did you see that, Frank?

frank

↓

If you incentivize somebody to make the right decision,

decision somebody

↓

you can get them to do whatever you need them to do.

↓

All right, what about me? Where's my incentive?

incentive

↓

Well, uh, how about we lower that AC even more

lower

↓

and see if that helps you?

helps

↓

How would that help me?

↓

Frank, what's the temperature at which a certain body part's

body certain frank parts temperature

↓

small, smooth muscle cells contract, thereby decreasing

cells contract muscle smooth thereby

↓

the surface area of the skin, causing that certain body part

area body body-part causing certain part skin surface

↓

to protrude in an unusual fashion?

fashion unusual

↓

65.7 degrees Fahrenheit.

degrees

↓

- Make it so. - I'll do it.

↓

What are you guys talking about?

↓

Nipples, Mac. Uh, nipples.

nipples

↓

Hi.

↓

Son of a bitch charged me $40 for a bag of ice, Charlie.

bitch charged charlie

↓

They... he's taking advantage of this heat wave,

advantage heat heat-wave wave

↓

- jacking up the prices. - Yeah, he's smart.

jacking prices smart

↓

So what's going on with the feet?

feet

↓

- I see you limping here. - Ah!

limping

↓

Yeah, you know what? These shoes, they are,

shoes

↓

they're the worst.

worst

↓

Well, my feet are all blistered and swollen.

feet swollen

↓

- Yeah? - But they're so cute and totally on-brand.

brand cute

↓

- Uh-huh. - What are you doing? Don't do the Story now.

story

↓

Well, you told me to shoot candid moments

moments shoot

↓

- that seemed honest. - I said staged moments

honest moments seemed

↓

that looked candid and seemed honest.

honest looked seemed

↓

All right, well, can we just walk back to the bar? Let's go.

walk

↓

I-I don't know. I honestly don't think I can walk back.

walk

↓

My feet are killing me.

feet killing

↓

Let's take the bus, then.

↓

Do you have any idea how much pollution a bus causes?

causes idea

↓

I don't know. Uh, three?

three

↓

Three?

three

↓

- Three what? - Pollutions?

three

↓

- All right, we're not... - I-I'm not a scient...

↓

- I'm not a scientist. - We're not... You're not a scientist.

scientist

↓

I get it. We're not taking the bus, though,

↓

because buses are wasteful and more importantly disgusting.

buses disgusting importantly

↓

You're just all crammed on there with a bunch of mongrels

bunch crammed

↓

breathing directly into your mouth. There's no room. No.

breathing directly mouth room

↓

Plus it's the future, Charlie.

charlie future plus

↓

- We can just take a rideshare. - Rideshare? Why... What?

↓

Yeah. It's when a bunch of people get the app,

bunch

↓

and then y'all take the same vehicle to different places.

places vehicle yall

↓

Same vehicle, diff... so, like a bus.

vehicle

↓

Fine, but it's not a bus, it's a car.

↓

- So less room. - Okay. Uh-huh.

less room

↓

'Cause if we just take the bus...

↓

- We're not taking a bus, Charlie! - Okay.

charlie

↓

- Taking the rideshare. Come on. - All right. Well...

↓

_

↓

What the hell is this? Hey, Frank, Frank, Frank.

frank frank-frank frank-frank-frank

↓

- Hold on. What's-what's going on, man? - What?

↓

I thought you turned the AC up?

turned

↓

- It's getting hot as hell. - I did. I did,

↓

but there's too many people here.

↓

I can't offset the body heat.

body heat

↓

- Hey, we got a problem. - Yeah, I... yeah, I saw that.

problem

↓

What's with all the water, man? What's going on here?

water

↓

Oh, that is probably from

↓

the ice machine breaking down.

breaking machine

↓

The water got backed up and maybe diverted over here.

backed water

↓

But that's not what I'm talking about.

↓

- What? - Look.

↓

The fish factory guys heard about the AC.

factory fish fish-factory heard

↓

Now they're hanging out.

hanging

↓

- Nobody wants to go near them. - Yeah, well, they're covered in fish parts.

covered fish near nobody nobody-wants parts wants

↓

They probably smell like shit. Go kick them out, Mac.

kick smell

↓

Uh, well, they go to my church.

church

↓

And if I kick them out, then they'll tattle on me to God.

kick tattle

↓

- Are you kidding me? - No.

kidding

↓

You know, Dennis,

dennis

↓

I'm not very incentivized here.

↓

These are not the nips I wanted.

nips wanted

↓

Whoa, Frank. Come on, man.

frank whoa whoa-frank

↓

Now is not the time for your racism. This affects us all.

affects racism

↓

We're all in this together.

↓

Talking about the nipples. I don't see any.

nipples

↓

- Oh. Right, right. Sorry. Your, um... - Not... people.

↓

Yeah, no, your track record in that department

department record track

↓

is, uh, it's not great.

↓

Yeah, it's just that his misogyny is stronger

stronger

↓

- than his racism. - In this case.

case racism

↓

- In this case. - All right, well, sorry for, uh, sorry

case

↓

for jumping on you like that. Um, we can figure this out.

figure jumping

↓

- Of course. God will provide. - Well, we will provide.

course provide

↓

I'm looking for answers right now. We will provide.

answers looking provide

↓

- I got an answer. God created us. - Okay.

answer created

↓

All right, you know what? Look, um, I have an idea.

idea

↓

We'll adapt.

adapt

↓

Hey, guys. Hey, why create an even bigger carbon footprint

bigger carbon create

↓

by taking stinky buses all over town when you can just hop

buses stinky town

↓

in a, in a, in a rideshare, in an electric vehicle?

electric vehicle

↓

I'm loving this ride, y'all.

loving ride yall

↓

And cut.

↓

Stop saying "and cut," Charlie. Just take your finger

charlie finger

↓

off the button. You don't have to say that.

button

↓

Christ. Might as well be in a bus.

christ might

↓

I am eating this guy's breath.

breath eating

↓

- Yeah. - I mean, just straight up eating it.

eating straight

↓

- It's super hot in here, too. - It's so hot.

super

↓

- I'm boiling. - Guy? Can you turn the AC up, please?

boiling

↓

- We're dying back here. - Uh, sorry, electric car.

dying electric

↓

AC kills the battery.

battery kills

↓

Okay, then just turn it on for a minute

minute

↓

and then turn it right back off.

↓

Want me to open a window?

open window

↓

No. No, I actually don't want hot air from the outside

↓

blowing all over the place, but thank you.

blowing place

↓

You want a breath mint or some gum?

breath mint

↓

I want some goddamn air conditioning.

conditioning goddamn

↓

What's some gum gonna do?

↓

Well, when someone offers you gum, it's usually a hint.

hint offers usually

↓

- That's him! That's not me. - Uh, well,

↓

- it's both of you. It's both of you. - Uh...

↓

I'm gonna give you one star, jerk!

jerk star

↓

Maybe consider getting some gum for those pits!

consider pits

↓

What an ass... Hey, everybody.

everybody

↓

Just coming back from a real quick trip.

coming quick real real-quick trip

↓

We walked to the store

store walked

↓

and then we took a fantastic rideshare home.

fantastic home

↓

And we got a really awesome bag of ice to show for it.

awesome

↓

- And stop! - What? What are you doing?

↓

Well, you don't want me to say "cut,"

↓

- so I'll say "stop." It's better. - Well, I wanted

wanted

↓

to bring the ice up into the frame so I could show them...

bring frame

↓

- and don't say, don't say "cut" or "stop," just stop. - Oh, okay.

↓

All right? Let's do it again. Where is the ice?

↓

- Uh, the ice is melted. Yeah, not much left. - Uh...

left melted

↓

- What?! - It was super hot in that car, Dee.

super

↓

Oh, Christ!

christ

↓

- Cat food, please? - Not...

food

↓

We're not gonna get the cat food 'cause we...

food

↓

- I can't go back in there without d... Hey! - And go!

↓

We're just getting ice out here.

↓

- And stop. - Beating the heat.

beating heat

↓

Hey...

↓

- fans. - And stop!

fans

↓

I'm going to murder you.

murder

↓

- Whoa, you're freaking out. - Yes.

freaking whoa

↓

I am freaking out. Film when I say "film."

film freaking

↓

Hey, everybody.

everybody

↓

- You said "film." - All good. It's just hot.

film

↓

It's just so hot. And cut.

↓

- You saying "cut" now? - I say "cut," not you!

↓

- All right, I got a plan. - It's hard to follow all your rules, Dee.

follow hard plan rules

↓

- Just shut up! We're gonna call a car. - Uh-huh.

↓

We're gonna get in the car. We're gonna go get ice.

↓

We're gonna come back with a bag of ice,

↓

and we're gonna shove it in their face...

face shove

↓

So we're taking two cars when we could've taken one car

cars couldve taken

↓

or called the truck and this whole thing

called truck whole

↓

could've been done, like, hours ago.

couldve hours

↓

- Okay. We'll walk. But stop talking to me! - Okay, we'll walk.

walk

↓

- And I'm rolling. - Hi. We're just gonna walk to get some more ice.

rolling walk

↓

_

↓

Hey, Frank.

frank

↓

Global warming is the fucking best.

best fucking global global-warming warming

↓

Hey, can I talk to you for a second?

second

↓

- Yeah. - Yeah. Over here.

↓

Ah.

↓

- Yeah. - All right, guys.

↓

Listen, we got another problem, all right?

another problem

↓

We're running out of glasses and I can't run the dishwasher

dishwasher glasses running

↓

'cause it's too big of a power suck.

power suck

↓

It's gonna kill the AC.

kill

↓

I got a fix. We got this stuff

stuff

↓

back when we were gonna have the Memorial Day party,

memorial party

↓

but then we had to cancel it because of the blizzard.

cancel

↓

- Oh! You bought the... yeah! - Yeah!

bought

↓

- That's working together, baby. - It's plastic.

baby plastic working

↓

- Nice work. - The Lord provideth again!

lord provideth

↓

No, Mac! No. The Lord not provideth.

lord provideth

↓

Frank provideth. He's the one who bought the cups.

bought cups frank provideth

↓

Frank provideth.

frank provideth

↓

That... well, the Lord provideth the snowstorm in May

lord provideth

↓

that allowed us to get the cups now.

allowed cups

↓

- Uh-huh. - See? It's all a part of his divine plan, Dennis.

dennis divine part plan

↓

And that's locked in, so we're good.

locked

↓

Okay, so all we have to do is nothing?

↓

No. No, because, uh, we have free will, Dennis,

dennis free

↓

which means that, um, we have to take the necessary steps

necessary steps

↓

to make sure that that plan comes to fruition.

comes plan

↓

- Which is predetermined. - Yes.

↓

But it doesn't matter what we do if it's all predetermined.

matter

↓

You see how your argument doesn't make any sense?

argument sense

↓

Uh, that's correct. But it doesn't have to make sense,

correct sense

↓

because that's where the faith comes in.

comes faith

↓

Right? I have faith that what I'm saying makes sense.

faith makes makes-sense sense

↓

Okay, so even if it doesn't make sense,

sense

↓

your faith makes it make sense.

faith makes sense

↓

- Correct. - Got it. Okay, so there's no way

correct

↓

to have a rational conversation with you.

conversation rational

↓

- No. - Climate change affects us all.

affects change climate climate-change

↓

Okay? We're all in this together. All right?

↓

We need to work together, and we can still make a profit, okay?

profit

↓

Don't worry. Just let me think about how to make this work.

worry

↓

Well, think fast, because it's getting hotter in here

fast hotter

↓

and people are gonna start dying.

dying start

↓

I got an idea. I got an idea.

idea

↓

Look, the-the music, it's very, very up-tempo.

music tempo

↓

What if we throw a couple slow jams in here, all right?

couple jams slow throw

↓

Drop the body heat down a notch.

body drop heat notch

↓

- Let's do it. - That's an excellent idea.

excellent idea

↓

And don't you see how God came through you

↓

to come up with that idea?

idea

↓

Go turn... change the music.

change music

↓

- Change the music. - I'll go change the music. I'm-a change the music.

change music

↓

Son of a bitch.

bitch

↓

Charged me 20 extra bucks for this one.

bucks charged extra extra-bucks

↓

- Want me to film this rant? - No!

film rant

↓

Obviously I don't. What is this? What have you done?

obviously

↓

Well, I got a nice little trash bag... that's keeping me

keeping trash

↓

a little bit cooler... and then this totally creates shade.

cooler creates shade

↓

You want me to make you a hat?

↓

No, thanks. I don't want to wear trash on my head.

head thanks trash wear

↓

You're wearing it on your feet.

feet wearing

↓

I paid 90 bucks for these things.

bucks paid

↓

Well, I can charge you for the hat if it

charge

↓

- makes you feel better. - No, that's not the point

makes point

↓

- I was making, but the... - Oh, all right.

↓

My shoes do suck. My feet are dead.

dead feet shoes suck

↓

Let's just call another car and get back

another

↓

to the bar before this ice melts again.

melts

↓

Oh, goddamn it.

goddamn goddamn-it

↓

- What's wrong? - My account's been suspended.

accounts suspended

↓

That driver gave me one star, citing "verbal abuse"

abuse driver star verbal

↓

and saying I urinated all over the backseat of his car.

backseat

↓

That was melted ice.

melted

↓

Actually, I did pee back there a little bit.

↓

- I did, too. It was a very long ride. - You did? I thought you did.

ride

↓

- I did. Yeah. But that's not the point. - Ah, all right.

point

↓

The point is we're stuck now.

point stuck

↓

Unless we take the bus.

↓

Goddamn it.

goddamn goddamn-it

↓

_

↓

How did it get hotter?

hotter

↓

I don't know, man. I think the slow jams backfired.

backfired jams slow

↓

It's like all the friction from the grinding,

friction grinding

↓

like, created a closed system.

closed created system

↓

I didn't account for all the increased sexiness.

account increased

↓

There's a lot of rumblings coming from

coming

↓

- the water section, too, there. - Well, that's 'cause

section water

↓

they're not reusing the cups. You know what I mean?

cups

↓

They don't have any cups left. They're throwing all the trash

cups left throwing trash

↓

- in the water. - And they want more booze.

booze water

↓

Which, by the way, we don't have any.

↓

We didn't have enough to accommodate the people

accommodate

↓

that were here before, and now it seems like

seems

↓

we've doubled in size and we just don't have enough.

size

↓

- Where is your God now? - Yeah, Mac.

↓

- He will reveal himself at some point. - Oh.

point reveal

↓

Well, is he gonna do it before all these people revolt

↓

- and destroy the place? - All right...

destroy place

↓

I don't know, Frank. I don't question God's will.

frank gods question

↓

If he wants to destroy the Earth, that's on him.

destroy earth wants

↓

- I support it! - What are you talking about?

support

↓

Guys-guys, stop... Okay, stop bickering.

bickering

↓

We can't be bickering. Okay, look.

bickering

↓

We said we were gonna beat the heat together.

beat heat

↓

As a team, as a community.

community team

↓

And that's what we're gonna do, goddamn it.

goddamn goddamn-it

↓

I got it. I got it.

↓

Hey, uh, everybody, if I could get your attention, please.

attention everybody

↓

I got a quick announcement.

announcement quick

↓

If everybody could just listen up real quick.

everybody quick real real-quick

↓

- Dennis has an announcement. - Yeah, I have an annou...

announcement dennis

↓

You don't need to announce my announcement.

announce announcement

↓

Okay.

↓

Idiot. Um, okay, uh, so, guys,

idiot

↓

uh, are you guys having a good time?

having

↓

What a great party, huh?

party

↓

That's right, that's right. But check this out.

check

↓

Check this out. Here's my announcement.

announcement check

↓

We do need to chill out on the dancing a little bit,

chill dancing

↓

'cause we-we're overworking that AC, but...

↓

Now, now, no, no, I get it,

↓

I get it, I get it, I get it.

↓

Listen, you think I want to be that guy?

↓

I don't want to be that guy, but I think if we just

↓

stop dancing for just a second, the AC can catch up,

catch dancing second

↓

this place can cool down.

cool place

↓

I don't want to stop.

↓

You don't want to stop? Yeah, I know.

↓

Nobody wants to stop.

nobody nobody-wants wants

↓

We're all having a good time. But maybe we just, like...

having

↓

Uh, you know what? Let's not stop.

↓

Let's not stop at all. Let's just chill out.

chill

↓

We'll chill out for a second, you know what I mean?

chill second

↓

We'll chill out. We'll slow things down.

chill slow

↓

- I don't want to slow down. - Okay, listen,

slow

↓

I know you don't want to slow down, I get it.

slow

↓

Nobody wants to slow down.

nobody nobody-wants slow wants

↓

It's all good, but we got to work together, right?

↓

We got to, we got to work together to keep this place cool

cool place

↓

and to keep everything kosher, all right?

kosher

↓

One other announcement: uh, we're running a little low

announcement running

↓

on tequila and other liquors.

liquors tequila

↓

All right, so...

↓

I'm not talking crazy stuff here.

crazy stuff

↓

We got plenty to go around, all right?

plenty

↓

Maybe instead of ten shots, we do, like, five or six.

five shots

↓

That's it. You know?

↓

I... I-I want ten shots.

shots

↓

You want ten shots, but, you know,

shots

↓

ten shots is too much for you and five to six is plenty.

five plenty shots

↓

Don't tell her what she needs.

needs

↓

Stop. Everybody st... O-Okay. I get it. Look, l-let's not...

everybody

↓

You're losing them, you're losing them!

losing

↓

All right, look, I'm not trying to bring the mood down, guys.

bring mood

↓

This is... It's all good. Okay? Just... let's just recognize

recognize

↓

that just... whoa, pal. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

whoa whoa-whoa whoa-whoa-whoa

↓

Okay, look, stop.

↓

I'm just saying we're in a little bit of a tricky situation here.

situation tricky

↓

We can figure this out.

figure

↓

Just, it's getting real hot in here.

real

↓

Okay? And we're running a little low on resources.

resources running

↓

It's fine. W-We... But if we adapt, we'll keep the party going

adapt party

↓

for a long, long time. So who's with me?

↓

I got the booze!

booze

↓

Oh, my God. That bus was hot as shit.

↓

- The third bus was the hottest, you know what I mean? - Yeah.

hottest third

↓

It's those local buses. We should've just gotten off

buses gotten local shouldve

↓

- at the express and walked, but that's... - It's all the buses.

buses express walked

↓

- They're bad. - Whoo.

whoo

↓

- Please tell me the ice didn't melt. - Uh, no,

melt

↓

but somebody ripped a hole in the bag

hole ripped somebody

↓

- and stole it. Yeah. - What?!

stole

↓

- How did you not notice that? - Oh, I don't know.

notice

↓

My back must have gone numb from the ice on my back.

gone must numb

↓

- You know what I mean? - Oh, no. No. I can't go all the way

↓

- back to that store. I can't do it. - Oh, no.

store

↓

No, that's too many vehicles.

vehicles

↓

But how are your feet feeling, though?

feeling feet

↓

Oh, I got to say, though,

↓

Charlie, the feet are feeling real good.

charlie feeling feet real

↓

- Whatever you made... - I'm pretty proud of that shoe.

proud shoe

↓

- Uh, you should be. - Yeah. That's the medical sponge, which is...

medical sponge

↓

- I don't want to hear any of the details, though. - Oh, okay.

details

↓

- I'll spare you. - Okay? Thank you.

spare

↓

Whoo. So what's the plan now?

plan whoo

↓

I got one last idea.

idea

↓

Hey, oh! Ice!

↓

We got ice.

↓

What's going on in here? Who are these guys?

↓

Uh, these are our friends

friends

↓

from the fish factory. What's up, guys?

factory fish fish-factory

↓

They're actually pretty good dudes once you get to know them.

dudes

↓

Yeah, nice c... not like the people we had in here before.

↓

- They were terrible. - Uh, well, what happened to the party, though?

happened party

↓

People were animals, just like I said.

animals

↓

All right, well, while you guys were in here

↓

destroying the environment, I got ice,

destroying environment

↓

with barely a carbon footprint.

barely carbon

↓

And I also made a pretty sweet Insta Story

story sweet

↓

to spread the word and shame my followers.

followers shame spread word

↓

- Mm-hmm. - Check it out.

check

↓

What up, Dee's Nuts?

dees dees-nuts nuts

↓

Just another important Insta message for you.

another message

↓

Don't forget to reduce, reuse and...

forget reduce

↓

I'd rather drive six Hummers

drive

↓

than smell your shit breath, loser!

breath loser smell

↓

Well, these shoes suck. They're terrible.

shoes suck

↓

My feet are all blistered. What are you doing? Don't...

feet

↓

- You're the stupid idiot! Okay? - No. You put my ice bag down...

idiot stupid stupid-idiot

↓

I'm not putting the ice down! I'm taking the ice!

putting

↓

- I'll give your money this time. - Get the hell out of my store.

money store

↓

But you try and gouge me again, you son of a bitch,

bitch gouge

↓

I'll gouge your eyes out!

eyes gouge

↓

There you go.

↓

Last time you get recycled.

↓

Hope a bird chokes to death on you.

bird chokes death hope

↓

I hate the bus! Oh, you're disgusting!

disgusting hate

↓

I can't stand being near you low-life degenerates!

degenerates life near stand

↓

Ah. Yeah. Not tipping you either, so don't even ask.

tipping

↓

- And cut. - Okay, stop saying "and cut."

↓

Goddamn it, Charlie.

charlie goddamn goddamn-it

↓

- synced and corrected by sot26 - www.addic7ed.com

corrected synced