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Home » Detroiters » S01E05 — Happy Birthday Mr. Duvet

Detroiters

Season 1, Episode 5 — Happy Birthday Mr. Duvet

TMDB episode metadata
Show: Detroiters
Episode title: Happy Birthday Mr. Duvet
Air date: March 07, 2017
Top billed cast: Sam Richardson, Tim Robinson
Sam struggles to come up with a worthy speech to make at his father's 60th birthday party; Tim is elated that an off-duty clown is in attendance and presses him to perform.
Source: TMDB
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*
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- You look beautiful tonight.
tonight
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both: Thank you.
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- My beautiful wife, of course.
coursewife
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Not my beautiful best friend.
bestbest-friendfriend
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*
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- David, Joy.
david
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Hey. - Hey.
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- Can you believe your dad is turning 60?
believeturning
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So old!
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You know what he needs to do?
needs
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Start eating soft foods so he won't
eatingfoodssoftstartstart-eating
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have to get dentures in a minute.
minute
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- That's not how teeth work, David.
davidteeth
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- Okay.
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We better go work on our speeches for your father.
fatherspeeches
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- Y'all better bring your A-game.
bringgameyall
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I've got a little something special planned for tonight.
plannedspecialtonight
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- You don't have to say that to Sam.
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He kills it every year.
kills
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- All right, see you guys.
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- Later.
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These speeches make me so nervous
nervousspeeches
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'cause you know Dad's just gonna pick it apart.
apartdadspick
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Ums and ahs
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let the audience know you're not prepared.
audienceprepared
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- You know what you're gonna say?
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- Please. I spent the last year crafting
craftingspent
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two pages of hilarious jokes about Dad's mustache.
dadshilariousjokesmustachepages
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- Damn. That is good.
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- Hey, happy birthday, Lawrence!
birthdayhappyhappy-birthdaylawrence
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- Oh, hey, Mom. Hi, Daddy.
daddy
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- My darling.
darling
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Son.
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*
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*
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Dad, you...
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you shaved your mustache.
mustacheshaved
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- Yes, son. One should never stop evolving.
evolving
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Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to welcome my guests.
excuseguestswelcome
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- Look at you two all dressed up.
dressed
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- Mommy. - Come here, sweetie.
mommysweetie
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- Hey, Mommy.
mommy
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- And Tim, look at you.
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Give me a twirl.
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Come on! I love it!
love
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- Greetings. Greetings, all of you.
greetings
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My perfect wife and I would like to welcome you
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to the celebration of my 60th birthday.
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Now, my family teases me
family
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about being too critical of the speeches
criticalspeeches
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that people make at events like these.
events
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But I think they're exaggerating.
exaggerating
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But now, if you're gonna make a speech,
speech
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pretend that there's a little, tiny baby
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seated way in the back facing the wall.
facingseatedwall
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That baby needs to hear your speech as well.
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All right. Enough with the formalities.
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I think we all know what time it is.
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Let's hustle!
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Are y'all ready?
readyyall
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Let's do it!
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*
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Hey!
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*
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Whoo!
whoo
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- So let's go. - Later!
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Hey! Ho!
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Whoo!
whoo
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- Uh-huh! - Whoo!
whoo
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- * Next time
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* When they ask you where you're from *
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* You gon' say Detroit city
citydetroitdetroit-city
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* When we get you back on our feet, yeah *
feet
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* Yeah
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- I'll never forget the day Mr. Duvet
duvetforget
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looked at me and said, "Son, you must have
lookedmust
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a great plan to be a great man."
plan
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Happy birthday, Mr. Duvet.
birthdayduvethappyhappy-birthday
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- That was very good. Thank you, Thomas.
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Remember to enunciate.
remember
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[R&B music playing in the background]
backgroundmusicmusic-playingplaying
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Sam, these mustache jokes are great.
jokesmustache
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- Well, solid gold, baby.
babygoldsolidsolid-gold
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But they're useless now. Don't worry about me.
uselessworry
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My speech gonna be just fine, okay?
speech
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- Sam, take it easy on us this year.
easy
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- Oh, you know I won't.
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- Yeah, this guy.
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- All right now.
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- What the--
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There are clowns here?
clowns
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- That's just Mr. Bones. He's good friends with my dad.
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- I've never met a clown before.
clown
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You think you could introduce me?
introduce
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- Tim, does a circus bear shit on a toilet?
bearcircustoilet
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- I don't know.
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*
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- Hey, Mr. Bones.
bones
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- Oh, hi, Sam.
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- Yeah.
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Uh, Mr. Bones, I want you to meet my best friend, Tim.
bestbest-friendbonesfriendmeet
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- Hey.
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Oh.
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I'm a little scared.
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Is it gonna hurt?
hurt
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Uh, where's your joy buzzer?
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- I'm not working tonight.
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- Uh, you're in costume.
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- I just left a job and I have another job right after this.
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- Well, if you could just do
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a little something for me, Mr. Bones.
bones
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- I'm not Mr. Bones right now.
bones
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My name is Julian and I'm at my friend's birthday party.
birthdaybirthday-partyfriendsjuliannameparty
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Please, respect my privacy.
privacyrespect
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- Talking about one gag.
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- Young man, asking me to perform here
askingperformyoung
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is like asking a mailman to go for a walk on his day off.
askingmailmanwalk
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Wait. Was that the joke?
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I guess it's kind of funny.
funny
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I bet you drive a funny little car.
drivefunny
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- I drive a 2013 Malibu.
drivemalibu
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- Oh, what the--
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You know, I'm not gonna get every joke.
joke
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- And when--when I got down to that hospital,
hospital
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they told me the bill had already been paid by Mr. Duvet.
billduvetpaid
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I'm sorry. - That's okay.
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Uh, thank you very much, Joy.
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You see, this is why microphone placement is so important.
microphoneplacement
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When it's just perfect,
perfect
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you can hear you even through your tears.
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Thank you, Joy.
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- Molly, what are you doing here?
molly
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- Well, officially, I'm checking out
checkingofficially
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a B&E on Linwood,
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but unofficially, your parents invited me
invitedparents
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and they sat us next to each other.
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Looks like they wish we were back together.
wish
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Well, they definitely wish
wish
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we were back together.
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Nothing.
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- You're fiddling with your balls.
balls
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You do that when you're upset. Now, who did this to you?
upset
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You know I can have anyone thrown in jail
jailthrown
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whenever I feel like it.
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I don't even need a reason.
reason
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- Oh, don't say stuff like that.
stuff
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- There was this one guy, innocent as a newborn baby.
babyinnocent
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I cuffed and stuffed him in the back of my car
stuffed
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just to see what would happen and I was not disappointed.
disappointedhappen
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- Stop talking.
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No one did anything to me. It's just...
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I don't have anything for my dad's speech.
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- But you crush it every year.
crush
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- Oh, I know. You don't have to tell me.
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- Sam, you're fiddling with your balls. What's wrong?
balls
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- He's nervous about his speech.
nervousspeech
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- Oh, hey, Molly. Oink, oink.
mollyoinkoink-oink
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I thought I smelled bacon. I thought this was
baconsmelled
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a birthday party, not a pig roast.
birthdaybirthday-partypartyroast
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- Ah, it's so good to see you two.
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- Yeah, you too. Where's your box of donuts?
donuts
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- Careful or I'll bust you for that crack in your pocket.
bustcarefulcrackpocket
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- What crack in my pock--
crack
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how in the hell did you do that?
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How did you do that?
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- Okay, I've got something.
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It's a bit of a Hail Mary--
hailhail-marymary
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the ace up my sleeve, if you will.
sleeve
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I'm going next. Wish me luck.
luckwish
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- * You are my sunshine, my only sunshine *
sunshine
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* You make me happy
happy
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* When skies are gray
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↓
43269814-e318-45e3-91f3-fb07e64f89c1.gif
- Shit! - * You'll never know, dear
dear
↓
7b4dd691-2d1f-4775-98f3-93f7cb15410a.gif
- You were gonna sing "You Are My Sunshine"?
singsunshine
↓
aa069236-b9bd-4aa1-8d05-080af3b24def.gif
- Our dad does love that song.
lovesong
↓
e1d4686c-9b11-4962-b15f-247614da29e1.gif
- * Please don't take my sunshine away *
sunshine
↓
a50fa8f2-a40e-40dd-8151-adf73159f890.gif
- That was wonderful. Thank you so much.
↓
7ae27070-95bc-4a06-a09a-9a088438e632.gif
Now, some of you may remember that song
remembersong
↓
85546fb6-6856-41d2-96e5-406171179329.gif
from the Coen brothers movie, "O Brother Where Art Thou?"
brotherbrothersmoviethou
↓
42ade253-ef02-4c7c-92d2-175482cafd53.gif
based on Homer's "Odyssey."
based
↓
456b95e5-c153-4d05-8d17-f990af8a09a8.gif
Now, if I may quote the great Homer,
quote
↓
4b80f711-b259-4f37-b66f-94149384b513.gif
let's hustle!
hustle
↓
04c6f2ba-43d0-4360-a976-d0e06d2c26bc.gif
*
↓
8b1dfbf7-1c64-4212-a42a-5916c65cc5d6.gif
- Oh, boy, clown at a buffet.
buffetclown
↓
68f8d13b-abc1-4962-a88c-ba3a49f51f16.gif
Here we go.
↓
421164df-1c6b-4af3-9e0a-72900106c1d5.gif
- I mean, that is kind of a lot of rice.
rice
↓
b4866b22-8d99-45e0-a22f-3d0f2f2bc1bd.gif
Is that a joke?
joke
↓
8b9bef7a-86c1-406c-8112-eabd6553c241.gif
- I'm just hungry.
hungry
↓
5bad6df4-d32d-4fea-bde0-f173f9509215.gif
*
↓
d935e735-a83a-4ccc-a3fd-85164a23c391.gif
That's the funniest food here!
foodfunniest
↓
5305d630-ec44-4e81-bcb9-8e167304a271.gif
- There's nothing funny about these pies.
funnypies
↓
0cd0582b-cfbb-402b-9fdd-a19a7950583b.gif
I worked hard on them.
hardworkedworked-hard
↓
9ab0e8bd-e863-4438-9483-a6b973115e70.gif
- Oh, well, I'm sorry,
↓
be253b55-3bb4-477b-8cc6-9d70a0208521.gif
because by the end of the night,
night
↓
205dc2e5-4872-4c1c-9458-86484f3a516f.gif
these pies are gonna be flying around the room.
flyingpiesroom
↓
188f5827-b06e-495e-baeb-ebaf089a84f8.gif
You wasted your time, ma'am.
maamwasted
↓
7918ee2a-5067-438a-a9ea-73b42a068c5a.gif
- Hey, back off my wife, man.
wife
↓
06cb883a-d7ab-4ced-b66d-fa61495278f7.gif
- Hey, back off my husband, man.
husband
↓
96e12150-917a-4140-84e1-feb0710ca777.gif
- I'm just saying, there is a clown in the room.
clownroom
↓
03082cd7-73fc-4fd3-8b01-01a695ccefe8.gif
These pies are toast.
piestoast
↓
b0145ce7-472a-4a96-847a-e5a47b26b8b4.gif
- Shh.
↓
fa93f42b-4bb2-4608-9b43-23f1d52f7656.gif
You see how big he is and how small you are?
↓
d789aa0f-f824-4060-a77a-e7561e54dc8a.gif
- Come on. - Ho ho ho!
↓
3e7f50af-1550-482b-b7c5-f7d26d84e074.gif
Ha!
↓
26b23630-a508-474c-841c-10dc50f03d7a.gif
Ha ha ha ha ha!
↓
836bf98c-b0e6-486f-881d-c61db0118066.gif
Ta-da!
↓
c98d8954-924f-4f14-8986-3fa912576e53.gif
I love you, Uncle Lawrence.
lawrenceloveuncle
↓
fbf3cdda-0e29-406c-b682-6d728e83b4d0.gif
- David, you have a degree in economics.
daviddegreeeconomics
↓
ef08b35a-29b2-4c75-9246-d1efce0b8d8a.gif
- Good job, baby.
baby
↓
3f5460cf-6e60-45c6-a7c3-77b280aa448b.gif
Beat that, Sam.
beat
↓
94ac7fcc-01a9-4eba-9c96-9db7174639a0.gif
- David, you have no external sense of self.
davidselfsense
↓
35c882ab-ff65-4e81-a453-1373901da4c4.gif
Take off your shirt.
shirt
↓
445a6552-8d54-49cf-ac82-ceeeaa61f8e4.gif
Paste some eyes on your nipples
eyesnipplespaste
↓
4fd55e8f-33e8-49c6-971b-45ec60391c30.gif
and a mouth on your belly button.
bellybuttonmouth
↓
99f28ccb-0372-453d-b27a-ced718ed781a.gif
Then take a giant top hat and put it
giant
↓
e35a70a1-d77f-414c-b4ab-5b91dc6e678e.gif
over your head and shoulders.
headshoulders
↓
f7e29873-0aa0-4eb2-95a5-272434a72bc0.gif
People love that.
love
↓
0e69c8c5-309a-4dda-a030-5898b10789b3.gif
- That's a terrible idea.
idea
↓
953a35ed-c05a-48be-bc8b-fb62e5c2dabc.gif
Never mind. Don't do it.
mind
↓
86ace1de-b27b-4367-83c9-3814e3876eeb.gif
- That guy's doing it right now.
↓
89a7c433-6a7e-4091-b61e-6c31e8c5699b.gif
- Hey, bud.
↓
323c229a-e6c6-4eba-bb3e-d133c8dcbac2.gif
Your song was super cute.
cutesongsupersuper-cute
↓
6629d785-1b83-404e-92c4-85181d5c0e05.gif
- Yeah, I know I was cute. That's what I was going for.
cute
↓
8aa44b70-b18b-41c5-8f7d-be6956fbcb53.gif
- Well, I was just trying to be nice.
↓
d0704b21-095f-4750-aa0c-107cb818ca32.gif
- Yeah.
↓
f57a8cec-4514-40e5-a6a3-ec14a950032f.gif
- Why don't you go get me a few drinks?
drinks
↓
69c0cd4d-ea96-4b5c-9d36-8d44b7df2045.gif
That bitch waitress won't get me a beer.
beerbitchwaitress
↓
336ae995-125d-40b5-b69a-b4e341a1ceb9.gif
- It's probably 'cause you're seven.
seven
↓
b62961e5-ce58-4410-a9af-f52b90ff787f.gif
- Okay, sunburn. We're done here.
↓
05d60bd6-4d19-4c47-84fc-d9d72b46622a.gif
- Oh.
↓
09a96f7e-aa89-4f20-b804-d94cd5a28cff.gif
You cover your ears.
coverears
↓
561994ce-c2bd-4bbf-bf49-1dd63658637e.gif
Cover your ears.
coverears
↓
3093efc2-0e02-4184-af97-6838a7a919a3.gif
You know what?
↓
766de516-d3a7-41c9-ab0d-bf5c9dc30c43.gif
Santa Claus isn't real.
clausrealsantasanta-claus
↓
526042cf-6645-4fc8-8761-51ccf3703346.gif
Then who gave me this huge hog?
huge
↓
9bf8397a-96e5-4181-9fa7-a43f46a9a80c.gif
He asked Santa for a huge hog.
askedhugesanta
↓
96e7e30b-057f-48bf-bca0-a19236e63d19.gif
And he gave it to him.
↓
06a7b121-074e-4694-80d5-8b2c84732366.gif
*
↓
fdcff916-66ef-4565-b3fb-527d65b08843.gif
- * I don't want nobody
nobody
↓
a7862a6d-33ee-4fd1-8d8f-61bec6d9cb02.gif
- Look at you.
↓
17361abb-5480-4dbe-a2ae-e4af26ec8085.gif
- He's more than just a father, he's a friend.
fatherfriend
↓
7a87d934-96df-4874-a9ab-a612b781a2f3.gif
I love you, Dad.
love
↓
0b312ffc-6410-4c4a-8b8d-7b93021f5aaa.gif
To the best father
bestfather
↓
cbefc941-5096-49e0-b6cd-3eb17fbc8397.gif
in the whole wide world.
wholewhole-widewhole-wide-worldwidewide-worldworld
↓
3b11efe6-658c-472e-9739-32e663580458.gif
- Yes.
↓
ffa7f15c-a84a-48c7-ab07-00326e366ad9.gif
- Well done. Well done.
↓
cab985df-76d5-4287-a3c7-a95058f73e8f.gif
- Uh, uh, do you mind if I say a few words here?
mindwords
↓
7a3ed15a-88bd-4ec3-828e-eefc5a928766.gif
Does everybody remember when Mr. Duvet had a mustache?
duveteverybodymustacheremember
↓
d444cf9c-44a3-44be-885d-cce0dfe37951.gif
- Yeah, of course we remember!
courseremember
↓
aaad2c77-8866-4f40-9fb9-766fed511705.gif
- It's fresh in our mind.
freshmind
↓
490b8ff7-2c98-4cfb-ab59-235478b58500.gif
- I can hear a couple minutes of that.
couplecouple-minutesminutes
↓
e68bd8df-2f95-4c00-9a97-1d8683006dd8.gif
- Great, because, um, I'm not saying
↓
dcc3c916-5a77-4c8c-afb4-316478135d7b.gif
Mr. Duvet's mustache was big,
mustache
↓
5a3d376e-d0dd-461f-b24b-368b5b73e190.gif
but if you turned him upside down,
turnedupside
↓
def97feb-707e-417e-bfb2-600881971ef3.gif
he could be a push broom.
broompush
↓
5f6ed7c6-4fa3-49b9-9487-f6b077a95e55.gif
And it even looked like a push broom too,
broomlookedpush
↓
23a88226-971b-473f-b7e3-eb75897dc1b0.gif
'cause it always had food in it.
food
↓
1b3a4433-4194-4056-a84a-966612045624.gif
I mean, I've heard of a salt and pepper mustache,
heardmustachepeppersalt
↓
aa2b8253-ad03-45cf-9925-06c2d13b3da4.gif
but Mr. Duvet's mustache
mustache
↓
6e08dd95-e270-4af4-8010-fbcf49cc94a8.gif
was salt and pepper and pickles and onions.
onionspepperpicklessalt
↓
c751bc6f-172d-45b8-b0d0-838acf1b047c.gif
- Whoo!
whoo
↓
a2a366a9-cb69-48e5-8756-19a4b529b398.gif
- I-I mean, you would see corn in his mustache,
cornmustache
↓
38c5a89c-5acf-4e62-8980-18abb421d1f6.gif
be like, "Wait a minute, we haven't had corn in weeks."
cornminuteweeks
↓
e5b02c2f-2da0-465a-977f-64b811ca3de8.gif
Look at that picture up there.
picture
↓
7595df43-eb78-436b-be73-796faa9f216f.gif
Is that Mr. Duvet or did Cousin Itt
cousinduvet
↓
baa62fef-e6fb-4700-8cdc-f7b74e610632.gif
shave everything but his mustache?
mustacheshave
↓
ef331c94-a00c-4cbb-8443-475fd27a3f46.gif
- You are gonna make me throw up.
throw
↓
71f23f5d-5af0-4ca5-9bd5-68c059b62ea1.gif
- Actually, Mr. Duvet doesn't have
duvet
↓
3602573d-792a-464a-bb58-14086a53394d.gif
the greatest mustache in the world.
greatestmustacheworld
↓
475c909e-9516-44a0-b467-a62a9029e548.gif
He has the second-greatest only to Aunt Lacey!
auntaunt-laceygreatestlaceysecond
↓
014b8e6e-022e-4908-98a6-343f5e56a566.gif
all: Tim! Tim! Tim! Tim! Tim! Tim!
↓
18e52c73-fc71-485c-8310-449192d75ce7.gif
all: Tim! Tim! Tim! Tim! Tim! Tim!
↓
e6945771-3c08-42af-bbdd-d72fc090ad1e.gif
- That's my husband! That's my husband!
husband
↓
a36f15c3-0128-4495-abd9-02fdc2331a46.gif
all: Tim! Tim! Tim! Tim! Tim! Tim!
↓
0d03486c-9827-401c-a74b-6586b2ec5d4c.gif
- Oh! Now, ladies and gentlemen,
gentlemenladies
↓
8bfe7b30-e6ca-4481-9eea-c1ca33b7643e.gif
I would hate to have anybody try to follow that amazing speech.
amazinganybodyfollowhatespeech
↓
6bb83df2-d002-450f-bbb7-a48397058779.gif
Therefore...
therefore
↓
82772208-7adf-4942-a84b-80eb5fdb43dc.gif
let's hustle! - Whoo!
hustlewhoo
↓
95e73394-2a40-4380-a88d-c7231e32b2a3.gif
*
↓
a27ed033-0eae-4510-8806-1abe17b85382.gif
- I can't believe you used all my jokes.
believejokesused
↓
bc70e925-0e29-49aa-a59e-dab0e0b7de9e.gif
- You threw 'em out.
threw
↓
fd40ed4a-0f90-4248-a638-3a389a5d3d0d.gif
- That's before I knew they were gonna kill.
kill
↓
1ca0baef-e68c-4418-9cf6-764cc7425d48.gif
- Hey, you talkin' or you doin' The Hustle?
doinhustletalkin
↓
be4044bb-7694-459c-8391-fbee2567382e.gif
You can't do both.
↓
cfa3724d-277a-4693-bff0-a537188738ad.gif
- Sorry, Grandma.
grandma
↓
eceabaa1-c90f-498b-8601-578db73f2c2e.gif
I honestly have trouble doing both.
trouble
↓
ef6e1eed-3275-466c-a094-2193eb91fa2c.gif
- You were great up there.
↓
968c466c-bebf-4030-84bd-46665e918b43.gif
I couldn't take my eyes off you.
eyes
↓
9945a094-3121-43a3-b2dd-7c3c20a3d200.gif
Do you act?
↓
370a7921-9742-4acb-84c8-61765a4b8bfb.gif
- No.
↓
74bd9a12-a1d4-4fca-ad44-68757d4b5a98.gif
- You should.
↓
fde9e01d-00a8-41ce-8801-84af0dcad470.gif
You got the body for it.
body
↓
7f9fecf1-cecb-4c15-9d9c-72f38bf2769a.gif
You are a little gentleman.
gentleman
↓
a576fdac-6e93-4759-b89d-7006c14c57b9.gif
- What are you--
↓
626cdbbb-e033-489e-984c-927240a3e88e.gif
hey, pal, why don't you take
↓
619d0166-0437-46af-a09c-5ed83ed7e43b.gif
your little huge hog out of here?
huge
↓
450327e6-43f3-41d8-ab3e-bfa24ac69ac6.gif
- Jesus. - Tim, he's a kid.
jesus
↓
035c5614-f2eb-4bb0-b90c-64ee74ca0010.gif
- Uh, Samuel.
samuel
↓
114594dc-c329-4517-a882-9ee7ddcf1d6e.gif
Let me talk to you. What is wrong?
↓
25463b21-c271-4309-9712-fa856088d08d.gif
- I'm worried about my speech for Dad.
speechworried
↓
57d6c1cd-db46-4db8-be81-7f09cf93fa67.gif
- Oh, don't be.
↓
040a75fb-f684-40ee-982e-0b266a2033d9.gif
You may not be funny like Tim or thoughtful like your sister,
funnysisterthoughtful
↓
130ffca1-a9af-4ab8-89f0-b567e9c40993.gif
but you are the cutest little ladybug there ever was.
cutest
↓
dce02f7a-aeb5-443f-bc19-548aea49f905.gif
Hmm?
↓
4d444264-bc99-44ce-a9ed-c62719ddc27b.gif
- Mom, have you been drinking wine?
drinkingdrinking-winewine
↓
3b7d03b7-cfc6-4287-a4b6-a4afc8f8704b.gif
- Oh, please.
↓
ce98f649-c63f-422a-8832-570864b1f504.gif
Oh, look, there's Molly. God, I love that girl.
girllovemolly
↓
a334ae13-d403-417d-b633-c6e492a57a2e.gif
- Mr. Duvet, my favorite piece of advice
adviceduvetfavoritepiece
↓
5de5522b-4204-4da4-8cdf-6ebfe2388992.gif
you ever gave me was to always remain excited for the future.
excitedfutureremain
↓
f6552206-19e7-40f8-88c8-1e1129c80f70.gif
- All units, I've been hit! I need backup--
backupunits
↓
f00b9711-2164-4aa9-9a85-3ec2244df97c.gif
- Tonight, as we celebrate all that you have been,
celebratetonight
↓
ea1bfe21-c18f-4ca1-a128-396e8908246c.gif
remember, we also celebrate all that you will be.
celebrateremember
↓
a1bb80f1-9226-4111-a2a7-f340db107f10.gif
Happy birthday, Mr. Duvet.
birthdayduvethappyhappy-birthday
↓
958422cc-06d4-481b-b7db-d4a205fcf0cf.gif
Now, that was a nice speech.
speech
↓
95f1cbca-87c7-47c7-b0e1-0911e79d5621.gif
Somebody ought to ask her to marry him!
marryoughtsomebody
↓
acbb03a0-b96c-4aaa-b608-d2cda1e5c7f7.gif
Son, I'm referring to you.
referring
↓
fa6077a2-b3e4-4f65-a2b7-85333425c64b.gif
- Mom, I know. Oh, my God.
↓
8f352ec9-5976-4cca-8a63-3077b541ff1a.gif
- Oh, no.
↓
97935e74-488e-4ac5-84ba-d7cdae14947b.gif
You're gonna do a spit take, right?
spit
↓
63116d78-3172-4c42-a3a4-8b99ff63c592.gif
What kind of clown are you, man?
clown
↓
72c44fd3-7913-4a63-8e10-c9c2359d3aa2.gif
- Look around, kid.
↓
129cf2b1-c777-4235-918c-be6928fc8388.gif
The only clown in this room is you.
clownroom
↓
4320c183-3d13-4591-9b63-5a9a398a8db0.gif
*
↓
8c58779f-e978-4e46-8b19-cc4d8d45878b.gif
- Tim, I'm really freaking out right now.
freaking
↓
d767f03a-6cfd-4e09-873d-2bb1b3bc8585.gif
I mean, I've got nothing.
↓
763514b1-0d4e-4f70-852b-fbaeea0c4362.gif
What am I gonna do?
↓
35c2c182-f3e0-43a4-b66b-6ff2f7e553b5.gif
- Why are you stressed out about this?
stressed
↓
36844b37-4365-4c9e-874d-ef8b636477f4.gif
You're always so good at things like this.
↓
077759bd-c9d8-4c32-b601-52366bc7ffa9.gif
- I mean, Tim, I could get up there
↓
e4f6bb3e-0014-48a9-b561-0d90c703baf0.gif
and I could tell jokes and sing a song
jokessingsong
↓
a0369a4d-1b1c-4de3-8376-3d913691ccc6.gif
and get hands clapping and panties dropping.
clappingdroppinghandspanties
↓
8f02a2f8-dff5-46a1-adec-952c513d65c0.gif
- This is a family event.
eventfamily
↓
900773e5-9fe9-4e97-a689-9ae8910b8801.gif
- That's not what I what I want,
↓
bf6cf76b-544a-49dd-9df6-26c67bad0094.gif
you know? Not tonight.
tonight
↓
9f1f961a-3506-4581-9109-688d03f55c9a.gif
I just want to let my dad know how I feel about him.
↓
54df8071-ecf1-466b-b8ce-698fb5eff4c5.gif
You know, let him know that as I grow older,
growolder
↓
47df9665-8f41-4816-8d84-49d8e3a6fa38.gif
I see myself becoming more and more like him,
becoming
↓
306b1b72-d980-4161-b8f6-43c07e53ff93.gif
and it just lets me know that I'm headed on the right path.
headedpath
↓
031e3495-f30a-478f-b966-0b1c2cbc3286.gif
- Samuel, that was perfect.
perfectsamuel
↓
16cb1142-49f6-4cbb-9337-5ddaee3b8772.gif
You projected wonderfully.
↓
e8fd7201-7682-45a1-9c82-f6b60cf091f8.gif
I could hear you all the way in the back of the bathroom.
bathroom
↓
3280ce78-5236-4bf9-a592-f3cecb324007.gif
- Thanks, Dad.
thanks
↓
f1b257b8-63c3-46fb-9990-e9b48d3b6c62.gif
- Hey, guys.
↓
6562b975-9357-4367-a122-d4d6ac5c1d27.gif
Oh, man, who stunk it up in here?
stunk
↓
c6dfb7d6-0019-45a2-ac70-9e094e5afd14.gif
- Well, I had an opportun--
↓
1cebdf6c-17d7-4bd8-b7d3-89bb3200ba75.gif
- I did.
↓
e8742211-4451-4349-b7ac-a1e6cd23a8f6.gif
I stunk it up in here.
stunk
↓
3cd19c67-3ed8-4df6-9628-a7514b1d3966.gif
With a poo.
↓
eec16385-79ab-49dc-a473-bad6000c2231.gif
- Guys, check this out. It stinks.
checkstinks
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- Well-- - Ooh, whoa! Whoa!
whoawhoa-whoa
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- Uh, yeah, that's my poop. - Hoo!
poop
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- There's still poop in here.
poop
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Why didn't you flush?
flush
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- He did flush. He flushed five times,
fivefive-timesflushflushedtimes
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but there was so much poop that it got stuck in the pipe.
pipepoopstuck
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It's all according to Sam.
according
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- Yeah, that's what happened.
happened
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- Yeah. And I pooped too.
pooped
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You're also smelling my crap.
smelling
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- Yeah. Hey, guys.
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- * My eyes don't cry no more
eyes
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* My heart don't ache no more
acheheart
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* Since you walked through my door *
doorwalked
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* I don't have to no longer be blue *
bluelonger
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- * You'll never know dear
dear
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* How much I love you
love
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And I do, Dad.
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* Please don't take
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* I said please don't take--uh
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* Please don't take
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* I said please don't
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* Please don't
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- * Take
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- * Please don't take
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* My sun--
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* Shine away--hey-hey
shine
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It's fine. Hard to go second,
hardsecond
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so, had the idea first.
idea
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- Better than the kid.
↓
a89cc5ff-19fa-4bb3-97ae-29c062c4f04d.gif
- Okay, now, if there are no more speeches--
speeches
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Julian.
julian
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Did you want to say something?
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All right.
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- Oh, boy. Here comes Mr. Bones.
bonescomes
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Watch this, folks.
folkswatch
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- He is not performing tonight.
performingtonight
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- Shh. - Andrew Carnegie once said,
andrew
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"As I grow older,
growolder
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"I pay less attention to what men say.
attentionless
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I just watch what they do."
watch
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- Shit.
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- Classic!
classic
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He slow-played me, baby!
babyplayedslow
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- No, I don't know, Tim. I think he's really hurt.
hurt
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- Oh, no, no, that was a clown fall.
clownfall
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Oh.
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You brilliant master of the comedic arts.
artsbrilliantcomedicmaster
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*
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*
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- Yes!
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In your face, pie lady!
facelady
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Oh!
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- I should kick your ass.
kick
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- Come on. Come on. Come on. Just sit.
↓
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Just--come on.
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- Just sit. Just sit. Just--
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all: * Happy birthday to you
birthdayhappyhappy-birthday
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- Everybody has a birthday.
birthdayeverybody
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all: * Happy birthday to you
birthdayhappyhappy-birthday
↓
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- Men, women, boys and girls,
boysgirlswomen
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it's a time to reflect on your life.
lifereflect
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all: * Happy birthday dear Lawrence *
birthdaybirthday-deardearhappyhappy-birthdayhappy-birthday-dearlawrence
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- The past and future happenings.
futurepast
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all: * Happy birthday to you - I am very happy
birthdayhappyhappy-birthday
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because today is my birthday.
birthdaytoday
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Let's hustle!
hustle
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*