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Home » It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia » S14E04 — The Gang Chokes

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Season 14, Episode 4 — The Gang Chokes

TMDB episode metadata

Show: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Episode title: The Gang Chokes

Air date: October 16, 2019

Director: Glenn Howerton

Top billed cast: Charlie Day, Glenn Howerton, Rob Mac, Kaitlin Olson, Danny DeVito

Annoyed that the Gang failed to react as he nearly choked to death on an appetizer, Frank decides the Waiter, his savior, is the only person who has his back.

Source: TMDB

↓

_

↓

Uh, guys, I-I'd like to raise a glass to Frank.

frank glass raise

↓

Frank, another year has gone by since you came into my life.

another frank gone life

↓

I don't see any blue on this menu.

blue menu

↓

- Well, hang on. Don't interrupt. - Why do you want to eat blue?

blue hang interrupt

↓

- The best foods are blue. - Charlie,

best blue charlie foods

↓

let's just order, shall we?

order

↓

Now, Dennis, what will I be having this evening?

dennis evening having

↓

- Oh, come on. - Well, I don't want to just order, okay?

order

↓

I'm trying to say some nice words here, okay?

words

↓

- About what? - About you, man.

↓

Oh, God. You people.

↓

Ugh, this guy again.

↓

Come on, man. What are you doing here? This isn't Guigino's.

guiginos

↓

Yeah, I thought you moved.

moved

↓

I moved back. So... Wait, you guys remember me?

moved remember

↓

Uh, yeah, you're everywhere.

↓

Yeah. We can't get away from you.

↓

You know what? Doesn't matter.

matter

↓

What's in them little bowls? Blue, I hope.

blue bowls hope

↓

I... Bl...

↓

No, i-it's amuse-bouche for the table.

table

↓

- What is it? - We didn't order yet, pal.

order

↓

Again, Dennis, what am I having?

dennis having

↓

- Stop asking me that. - I'm not paying for those, pal.

asking paying

↓

They're compliments from the chef.

chef compliments

↓

We don't want compliments, we want food.

compliments food

↓

If I wanted a compliment, I'd walk into a bar.

compliment walk wanted

↓

Oh, Dee. God.

↓

- Dee, shut up. - Yeah, Dennis, do you want me

dennis

↓

to throw my glass of water in her face?

face glass throw water

↓

Well, don't ask. Just do.

↓

Well, h-hang on a second, dude. You don't chew no good anymore.

anymore chew hang second

↓

- You want me to chew that up for you? - I don't want that.

chew

↓

Well, you haven't had your teeth sharpened in a bit.

sharpened teeth

↓

- I better chew it. - He gets his teeth sharpened?

chew sharpened teeth

↓

Not as often as he should. No. Uh...

often

↓

What's this?

↓

I think he's choking.

choking

↓

- Oh, shit. - Yeah, he can't get air.

↓

Yeah.

↓

Hmm.

↓

Okay, folks, we have a few specials tonight.

folks specials tonight

↓

Oh, my God!

↓

_

↓

- That's it! Yeah, I'm absolutely having a fit! - All night long?

absolutely having night

↓

- Look, I-I'm sorry, okay? - I'm having a fit. That's right.

having

↓

I don't know what happened. I froze up, all right?

froze happened

↓

- Oh, yeah. You froze up. - May-Maybe I thought

froze

↓

- that's how you wanted to go out, Frank. - Oh, yeah.

frank wanted

↓

That's how I wanted to go? Me?

wanted

↓

I don't know! I don't know how you want to die.

↓

You only ever talk about how you don't want to die,

↓

like in a hospital bed or getting spit-roasted

hospital roasted spit

↓

- by two Latin King gang members in prison. - Yeah.

gang king latin members prison

↓

Okay, look, at least here,

least

↓

you're in a fancy restaurant, right?

fancy restaurant

↓

- You're surrounded by your friends. - Oh, my friends.

friends surrounded

↓

Who are watching me choke to death

choke death watching

↓

- with pleasure in their eyes. - Nobody had pleasure! Okay,

eyes nobody pleasure

↓

- maybe I was a little mad at you, all right? - Yeah.

↓

Y-You didn't let me finish my speech.

finish speech

↓

You kept interrupting me about anything that's blue

blue interrupting

↓

- on the menu, right? - Yeah. Yeah, right. Yeah.

menu

↓

You didn't let me chew your food for you. You know, you...

chew food

↓

Oh, well, you're not gonna be able to do that, either.

able

↓

No more chewing my food.

chewing food

↓

You mash it too thin.

mash thin

↓

You take all the flavor out of it.

flavor

↓

- You get all the nutrients. I get all the mush. - You...

mush

↓

- Do you think I want to chew your food? - Yeah, you...

chew food

↓

Well, you don't have to do that anymore, because I'm going.

anymore

↓

- Where are you gonna go? - I'm going

↓

- to the one person who actually cares about me. - All right.

cares person

↓

Good. You know what, fine, go.

↓

Get out of here. I don't care.

care

↓

I'll go back to being me. You know, young and cool

cool young

↓

before I started chewing the food of some crazy old man.

chewing crazy food started

↓

You know, I used to do cool shit, Frank!

cool frank used

↓

I used to be cool!

cool used

↓

I'm cool.

cool

↓

That was an interesting evening.

evening interesting

↓

Yeah. Yeah, it was. Frank was pissed.

frank pissed

↓

I would've stepped in,

stepped wouldve

↓

but, of course, I was taking my cues from you.

course

↓

Why?

↓

Well, you didn't tell me whether I should save him or not.

save whether

↓

But why? I mean, wh...

↓

why do I still have to tell you what to do?

↓

Why do I still have to order your dinners for you?

dinners order

↓

And why is it up to me to decide

decide

↓

whether or not you're going to save a man's life?

life mans mans-life save whether

↓

You know what the problem is?

problem

↓

I can't depend on you. I can't depend on anyone.

depend

↓

You know, I mean, if that had been me choking tonight...

choking tonight

↓

- no one would've saved me. - No.

saved wouldve

↓

I-I would've saved you, Dennis. I would have saved you.

dennis saved wouldve

↓

- If you told me to. - Oh, Jesus Christ... if I told you to?

christ jesus jesus-christ

↓

Oh!

↓

* Pizza man, pizza man *

pizza

↓

* I got pizza here, who wants pizza man? *

pizza wants

↓

What are you doing here, man? It's, like, after midnight.

midnight

↓

Uh, after midnight? What are you, like, in your 40s?

midnight

↓

- Yeah. As are you. - Yeah.

↓

- Have a slice. Let's get into it, boys. - No! No.

boys slice

↓

Dennis cannot eat cheese, because cheese is poison.

cannot cheese dennis poison

↓

- No dairy for this guy. - That's actually correct.

correct dairy

↓

Oh. It's all good, though. I actually ate all the cheese

cheese

↓

on the walk over, so... no cheese!

cheese walk

↓

Oh! That solves it. Dennis will have

dennis solves

↓

- the crust and the sauce, then. - No, Mac.

crust sauce

↓

Not gonna have the crust. Are you insane?

crust insane

↓

I mean, you know, carbs aside, it's absolutely teeming

absolutely aside carbs

↓

with gluten.

gluten

↓

I knew that. I just... I forgot.

forgot

↓

- You didn't know that. - I did.

↓

Don't worry about that, though. It's all good.

worry

↓

I ate the crust, too.

crust

↓

Oh, so you came over with a box of tomato sauce?

sauce tomato

↓

Oh, great.

↓

- Dennis will have the sauce. - Sugar.

dennis sauce sugar

↓

- Sugar. - Uh, no.

sugar

↓

Actually, I slurped that up, too,

↓

because that was just kind of looking good, so I figured...

figured looking

↓

So you ate them all separately... all the elements...

elements separately

↓

and then came over with an empty pizza box?

empty pizza

↓

- This is a nice gesture, you know. - It's not.

gesture

↓

- It's the suggestion of food. - Guys. Guys, guys, guys, guys.

food suggestion

↓

Oh, my God. You are not going to believe

believe

↓

- what just happened to me. Okay. - Christ. She's here now.

christ happened

↓

- So, I'm wandering around, right, for hours. - Yeah.

hours wandering

↓

I-I'm just thinking about what happened tonight

happened thinking tonight

↓

and... with Frank, you know...

frank

↓

and-and I'm not proud of it, but I, uh...

proud

↓

Something weird kind of happened to me with that whole thing,

happened weird whole

↓

'cause I... I got a pretty good rush

rush

↓

from a man almost dying right in front of me.

dying front

↓

I-I liked it, and-and,

liked

↓

you know, I'm thinking about it so much

thinking

↓

that I sort of space out.

space

↓

Long story short,

short story story-short

↓

I wind up in the middle of the street, okay?

middle street wind

↓

And an Uber just goes flying by me

flying uber

↓

at, like-like, 50. Almost hit me!

↓

You're so good at telling stories. So concise.

stories telling telling-stories

↓

I wish it did hit you.

wish

↓

You guys, the rush I got from that...

rush

↓

- You would not believe it. - Okay, I-I...

believe

↓

I don't believe it. I don't care about it.

believe care

↓

- I don't care. I don't care. - It blew my mind.

blew care mind

↓

- Why'd you come over? - No, wait, I-I can't stand this.

stand whyd

↓

I-I can't do this. I mean, it's in the middle of the night.

middle night

↓

- Yeah, that's right. - Okay? And I'm surrounded by lunatics here.

lunatics surrounded

↓

We are surrounded by lunatics.

lunatics surrounded

↓

- You're one of the lunatics! - What?

lunatics

↓

Okay, you know what? This is the one thing I've learned tonight.

learned tonight

↓

- I can't depend on anyone but myself, okay? - What? What?

depend

↓

So I got to take care of myself. I got to stay healthy.

care healthy

↓

You know what? I'm gonna go to bed.

↓

That's what I should... I'm gonna go to bed.

↓

Go to bed? What are you, 40?

↓

We're the same age!

↓

Uh, Dennis, should I go to bed, too?

dennis

↓

I don't care!

care

↓

- He said yes, I think? - Oh, I don't think he gives a shit

gives

↓

- what you do. - I don't think he cares.

cares

↓

He cares because we depend on each other,

cares depend

↓

so I should probably go to sleep because we depend on each other.

depend sleep

↓

Tomorrow, I got to wake up and depend on him.

depend tomorrow wake

↓

He's gonna depend on me, so good night, guys.

depend night

↓

Okay, so, what do you want to get into?

↓

Oh, I kind of wanted to hang out with the guys, so...

hang wanted

↓

I know. I know. Me, too.

↓

- But they went to bed, so just you and me. - Mm.

↓

Yeah, but I-I don't want it to be.

↓

- You know? - Oh.

↓

- Yeah. - Mm-hmm.

↓

Okay.

↓

Hey-o! Look who's up. Sleepyhead.

sleepyhead

↓

Here you go. You know you grind your teeth at night?

grind night teeth

↓

What is this?

↓

What the hell are you doing in my home?

home

↓

I'm moving in.

moving

↓

Hey, you had my back. Now I'm gonna have yours.

↓

Uh, first thing we got to do

↓

is beef up the security around here.

beef security

↓

You know how easy it was for me to get in that window?

easy window

↓

Took me all of 30 seconds with this hammer.

hammer seconds

↓

I could have been bashing your face in

bashing face

↓

before you knew what hit you,

↓

which would've been this hammer, which I already had in my hand,

hammer hand wouldve

↓

in case you weren't listening.

case listening

↓

Wh-What's going on?

↓

It's you and me against the world, kid.

world

↓

You got a nice place here.

place

↓

Wouldn't be bad to have a roommate.

roommate

↓

Okay, look, I only saved you

saved

↓

because it's what any decent person would do,

decent person

↓

but I don't need a roommate.

roommate

↓

I already live here with my mother.

live mother

↓

Oh. That old vegetable lady is your mom?

lady vegetable

↓

Nah, you don't have to worry about her.

worry

↓

I took care of her.

care

↓

Took care of her? What do you mean?

care

↓

I threw a sheet over her head. She was freaking me out.

freaking head sheet threw

↓

Mom! Oh, my God!

↓

Are you all right?

↓

I don't think she can hear you, pal. She's gonzo.

↓

Why would you want to live with that

live

↓

when you can live with me and get a lot of good action?

action live

↓

Please leave before I call the police.

police

↓

Suit yourself.

suit

↓

- Door or window? - The door is fine.

door window

↓

It's gonna take me a long time to bash through that door.

bash door

↓

Guys, how long is this gonna take?

↓

Dennis needs to finish his pre-workout shake, Charlie.

charlie dennis finish needs shake workout

↓

And I rubbed down his calves,

rubbed

↓

and now I have to tape his ankles.

ankles tape

↓

Yeah, but can we just, like, play already?

↓

No, we can't just play, Charlie. We can't just play.

charlie

↓

Are you insane?! We can't just play!

insane

↓

Uh, what's he...? What?

↓

Look, honestly, Dennis shouldn't even be playing basketball

basketball dennis playing playing-basketball

↓

- in the first place... - Wrong, Mac.

place

↓

Basketball is exactly what I should be doing.

basketball

↓

It's what men like Frank never did,

frank

↓

and their bodies became soft and feeble and-and round

became bodies feeble round soft

↓

and at high risk for injury and disease and choking on things.

choking disease injury risk

↓

- Well, can we do something? - Yes.

↓

Let's just... let's begin with a light warm-up of, uh... passing,

begin light passing warm

↓

and then after 15 minutes or so of that,

minutes

↓

we'll work our way into a light jog, and then we'll do some layups.

light

↓

- Passing. All right. - Too hard. Too fast.

fast hard passing

↓

Still a little bit too hard.

hard

↓

Simple.

simple

↓

- Oh. - Ah, damn it.

↓

Jesus, man. What-what the hell was that? Are you okay?

jesus

↓

Ow. I don't know. My... timing's a little bit off.

↓

I... might not be feeling too well all of a sudden.

feeling might sudden

↓

Wait a second.

second

↓

Dennis, I-I feel like there's a little bit of pollen in the air.

dennis pollen

↓

Pollen?!

pollen

↓

You didn't tell me there was to be pollen today.

pollen today

↓

I-I can't do pollen. I don't do pollen.

pollen

↓

I know. I didn't know. I mean, maybe,

↓

on account of the season, I thought maybe...

account season

↓

- Oh. Oh! - I'm sorry.

↓

- Come on, Dee. Why are you here? - Hear me out, you guys.

↓

This whole thing with Frank and the Uber stuff...

frank stuff uber whole

↓

it's got me thinking, you know.

thinking

↓

I feel like the only way to truly live life

life live truly

↓

to its fullest is to live it on the edge.

edge live

↓

- On the edge of what? - On the edge of life or death.

death edge life

↓

So, I went into the Puerto Rican part of town,

part puerto puerto-rican rican town

↓

started making fun of their big fat asses

asses fun started

↓

and asked them if they were Dominican.

asked dominican

↓

- What?! - Yeah. - Why-why would you do that?

↓

Well, to be fair, I did start with some stuff

fair start stuff

↓

that was slightly less offensive, but turns out,

less offensive slightly turns

↓

they're a very lovely community, so I really had to...

community lovely

↓

I had to dig deeper.

deeper

↓

Really, really hit 'em where it hurt.

hurt

↓

Anyway, they're on their way.

↓

They're on their way?!

↓

Yeah, after what I said, sure, yeah.

↓

I was like, "Um, you guys, why don't you take a break

break

↓

"from your cockfighting and, uh, you know, hop in your rafts

↓

and come bring it to a real American?"

american bring real real-american

↓

And then I was like, "Follow me."

follow

↓

- That's Mexican! - That's Mexican.

mexican

↓

- What are you doing? - Oh! That did it.

↓

- Why are you doing this? - It pissed 'em off.

pissed

↓

Because it-it gave me a r...

↓

a-a thrill like you wouldn't believe.

believe thrill

↓

Anyway, you guys want in on this with me?

↓

- No! - No! - What?!

↓

You-you would put us all at risk

risk

↓

with your suicidal race-baiting. I... I-I...

race suicidal

↓

Eh, something's off. I-I got to go home.

home somethings

↓

- What? - Oh, Dennis. Dennis, yes.

dennis dennis-dennis

↓

- I got to go home. - You're leaving?

home leaving

↓

You know what? He-he needs his post-workout shake.

needs post shake workout

↓

- You haven't worked out yet. - That's what it is. I need a...

worked

↓

Yes, we were playing basketball,

basketball playing playing-basketball

↓

and I've depleted my electrolytes,

electrolytes

↓

and now I'm Dee-shaming,

↓

and that's depleted me even more,

↓

- so, yes. - Oh, come on. - You know what?

↓

- Uh, let me... let me get you home, Dennis. - I'm wobbly.

dennis home wobbly

↓

Here. You can count on me, buddy.

buddy count

↓

- All right, get me... - You can count on me.

count

↓

- Get me home. - He can count on me, guys.

count home

↓

The hell's wrong with him?

hells

↓

Uh, pollen, I guess.

pollen

↓

Huh.

↓

So, uh, you want to take this beating with me?

beating

↓

No.

↓

Hey, Mom.

↓

Sorry I'm late.

late

↓

Had to work a double shift.

double double-shift shift

↓

Hey-o! All good.

↓

Made her dinner already. She's eating blue.

blue dinner eating

↓

- What is this? - Well, I figure,

figure

↓

you were at work, and your mom was stuck home alone,

alone home home-alone stuck

↓

so I broke in again.

broke

↓

What did you do to her?

↓

What? Well, I just spruced her up a little bit.

↓

- What do you think? - I think she look nuts!

nuts

↓

Okay, you know what? Stop coming here.

coming

↓

I don't want you here. Stop breaking into my home, okay?

breaking home

↓

Whoa. Why are you being such a hard-on about this?

hard whoa

↓

I'm just trying to help a little bit.

↓

You know, I did a little homework while you were away.

homework

↓

You graduated at the top of your class with honors,

class graduated honors

↓

and were enrolled in pilot school.

enrolled pilot school

↓

But then, your mommy got sick,

mommy sick

↓

and you had to take other jobs and make ends meet.

ends ends-meet jobs meet

↓

I mean, it must've been really hard being up there,

hard mustve

↓

slinging V8 Juice

juice slinging

↓

when you should've been captain of the ship.

captain ship shouldve

↓

What is this?

↓

Somebody enrolled somebody back into pilot school.

enrolled pilot school somebody

↓

So, what do you say we quit that dead-end job you're in

dead quit

↓

and put your mommy in a real nice home?

home mommy real

↓

Something with 24-hour care, on me.

care hour

↓

And not one of them bang 'em and bin 'em joints.

bang joints

↓

Something really nice.

↓

Would be nice to go back to pilot school.

pilot school

↓

Yeah. Yeah.

↓

Oh, let me give you some more.

↓

Yeah. Here you go. Here you go.

↓

Yeah. Blue has the most antioxygens.

blue

↓

Ugh.

↓

Christ. I feel like I'm dying.

christ dying

↓

Just let me help you, Dennis.

dennis

↓

Here, have another health shake.

another health shake

↓

No. I don't want another one of your stupid shakes, Mac.

another shakes stupid

↓

All right? And for the last time,

↓

please just leave me alone.

alone

↓

Just...

↓

- What are you doing? - I want to throw this shake

shake throw

↓

in your stupid face, but I'm struggling.

face struggling stupid

↓

Charlie, will you please throw this shake in Mac's face for me?

charlie face macs shake throw

↓

- Me? - Yes.

↓

- Oh. - Dennis, do you want me to throw it into my own face?

dennis face throw

↓

That would ruin the effect.

effect ruin

↓

Right. Charlie, throw this in my face.

charlie face throw

↓

Well, don't tell him to throw it in your face,

face throw

↓

because now I feel like you want it.

↓

Uh, what if I throw it in my face?

face throw

↓

- I don't want it. - No, you're not following.

following

↓

He wants you to throw that in my face,

face throw wants

↓

and he wants me to not want it.

wants

↓

- I don't want it, right, Dennis? - You've both ruined the moment.

dennis moment ruined

↓

You've misunderstood what I'm going for,

misunderstood

↓

and I'm just gonna go lie down on my bed. I feel so awful.

awful

↓

- Yeah. I'll carry you, because I... - No, no, no. You're not gonna...

carry

↓

No. You dropped me twice last time.

dropped twice

↓

You bumbling idiot. You're probably also covered in pollen,

bumbling covered idiot pollen

↓

which is making me feel horrible.

horrible

↓

A pollen-covered man offering to carry a-a perfectly well man.

carry covered offering perfectly pollen

↓

It's insane.

insane

↓

- Hey, uh, can I have your...? - I'm sorry.

↓

You mind if I have his shake, then,

mind shake

↓

- if he's not gonna have it? - Huh?

↓

- Can I have this? - No, that's, uh...

↓

That's his shake, so... you can't have it. Just...

shake

↓

Yeah, but... I-I want it, and he said he didn't want it.

↓

Yeah, yeah, but he might want it later, so...

might

↓

Yeah, yeah, but I kind of want it now,

↓

so I'd like to have the shake, then.

shake

↓

Yeah, but it's not really for you.

↓

Yeah, but I want it, and he's not having it,

having

↓

so I don't really see any reason why...

reason

↓

- You can't have it, Charlie! - Yeah! I will drink it!

charlie drink

↓

What is this?

↓

It's a... protein shake.

protein shake

↓

It's just a health shake for Dennis.

dennis health shake

↓

Yeah, but it tastes like pizza.

pizza tastes

↓

Oh, really? Nah, it's...

↓

You know what? There's a lot of different flavors.

↓

That's probably, like, the pizza-flavored one.

flavored pizza

↓

And soda.

soda

↓

Wha... Are you feeding Dennis

dennis feeding

↓

blended-up pizza and soda shakes?

pizza shakes soda

↓

Shh. Yes. Uh, I...

↓

- Why? Why are you doing that? - Because I'm...

↓

I'm poisoning him, all right? Just...

poisoning

↓

- What?! - A little bit.

↓

Look, uh, all the gluten and the sugar and the dairy,

dairy gluten sugar

↓

uh, just wreaks havoc on his system, you know?

system

↓

- Oh. - And it makes him so weak.

makes weak

↓

And then he's gonna depend on me to take care of him,

care depend

↓

to bring him back from the brink of death.

bring brink death

↓

- Why are you doing that? - You know what I'm saying?

↓

- Well, because I want him to depend on me, Charlie. - Oh.

charlie depend

↓

Nah! That's gonna take

↓

- way too long. - Whoa.

whoa

↓

Dee, did you just scale up the side

scale side

↓

- of the building? - Yeah.

building

↓

Free soloed it.

free

↓

Sucked though. Didn't feel a thing.

sucked

↓

Look, Mac, Munchausen by proxy, that's cute and everything.

cute

↓

But if you want Dennis to really depend on you,

dennis depend

↓

you're gonna have to save his life... for real.

life real save

↓

Oh.

↓

And I'm gonna help you.

↓

Aw...

↓

Don't. Just don't.

↓

- Hey! You're just in time for a blue feast. - Hey.

blue feast

↓

- Mm. - Did you have a good sleep?

sleep

↓

Yeah. To be honest,

honest

↓

I had the best night's sleep of my life.

best life nights nights-sleep sleep

↓

- Oh. - Yeah.

↓

I feel kind of guilty saying this, but, uh,

guilty

↓

since you found a home for my mom,

found home

↓

I feel like this-this huge weight

huge weight

↓

- has been lifted off of me. - Ah.

lifted

↓

- Great! Let's eat. - Yeah.

↓

- Come on. Okay. All right. - Okay. Great.

↓

- See what we got here. - Mm-hmm.

↓

Uh...

↓

Yeah, I don't know if I want to eat that.

↓

Oh. Oh, okay.

↓

Well, I just worked on it a long time.

worked

↓

Well, three of the things are still in plastic packaging.

packaging plastic three

↓

All right. Well, how 'bout if you just make a speech?

bout speech

↓

- A what? - A speech. You know,

speech

↓

something to honor our new relationship.

honor relationship

↓

Uh, do I have to?

↓

Yes.

↓

Oh.

↓

Okay. Well, uh...

↓

this is exciting.

exciting

↓

Good start.

start

↓

Uh, I'm excited to get back in the simulator,

excited simulator

↓

log some more hours.

hours

↓

Oh, good, good.

↓

Well, but don't just make the speech about you.

speech

↓

- Oh. - Put me in there a little bit, too.

↓

Oh. Okay. Uh...

↓

Uh, thanks for sticking my mom in that home.

home sticking thanks

↓

- Never could've done it myself. - Yeah. Mm, mm.

couldve

↓

She always said it's the last thing she ever wanted, so...

wanted

↓

- So, thank you. - What?

↓

- Thank you. - Wait, your mom said

↓

that's the last thing she wanted,

wanted

↓

- was to be in a home? - Yeah, yeah.

home

↓

She said it all the time.

↓

So, when you saw her in there, why'd you let her stay?

whyd

↓

Well, I didn't see her. You took her.

↓

You mean you didn't have the decency to go?

decency

↓

You told me not to, to avoid the emotion of it all.

avoid emotion

↓

Well, I told you not to because I was sticking her

sticking

↓

in a bang 'em and bin 'em joint.

bang joint

↓

- What? - They're much cheaper!

cheaper

↓

I'm starting to think I had you pegged all wrong.

pegged starting

↓

I'm sorry, can we go back to the "bang 'em and bin 'em" thing?

bang

↓

To think I trusted my life with you, when you would treat

life treat trusted

↓

your mother like that.

mother

↓

I bet you'd let me get spit-roasted by Latin Kings

kings latin roasted spit

↓

just like that, wouldn't you?

↓

I'm sorry, I can't follow this conversation.

conversation follow

↓

- Where is my mother? - And if you think

mother

↓

I'm paying the 40 grand you owe that flight school,

flight grand paying school

↓

you got another thing coming!

another coming

↓

- I owe them? I can't afford that. - Yes!

afford

↓

Well, then you probably can't afford the bin 'em joint,

afford joint

↓

'cause that shit ain't free, bozo!

aint bozo free

↓

- Where are you going? - I'm out of here! Have a nice life!

life

↓

And... kiss my ass, dirtbag.

dirtbag kiss

↓

I can't afford any of this!

afford

↓

Okay.

↓

This powder is a major histamine toxin.

major powder

↓

The second Dennis drinks it,

dennis drinks second second-dennis

↓

his throat's just gonna start to seize right up.

seize start throats

↓

After a few minutes, Mac, you jab him

minutes

↓

with that EpiPen... you save his life.

life save

↓

- After a few minutes? - Yeah.

minutes

↓

15, 20 tops. Just until he flatlines. Then you bring him back.

bring tops

↓

- Uh, no, Dee, we're not gonna do that. - Wait, what?

↓

You're not gonna poison him?

poison

↓

You don't think Dennis is gonna see

dennis

↓

right through this silly ruse?

ruse silly

↓

- All right. - Yeah. Now, Frank, on the other hand...

frank hand

↓

- Yeah. Now, Frank's not gonna see through it. - No.

franks

↓

So-so that's why we invited Frank.

frank invited

↓

Because Charlie and I can jump to action and save Frank's life.

action charlie franks jump life save

↓

- Together. - Now... Yeah. Now, of course,

course

↓

Dennis will see through that ruse as well,

dennis ruse

↓

but he'll be very impressed

impressed

↓

with how far I'm willing to go to prove my worth to him.

prove willing worth

↓

- Then Dennis will love me. - Frank's not gonna

dennis franks love

↓

read into any of this.

read

↓

He's just gonna be happy that I saved him.

happy saved

↓

Listen, consider the flatline though, okay?

consider

↓

'Cause I really got to know what people see on the other side.

side

↓

- Yeah. They're coming. Shut up. Shut up. - Shut up, Dee. Dee.

coming

↓

- Shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up, shut up. - Frank! Dennis!

dennis frank

↓

Here, uh, come-come on. Have a seat.

seat

↓

Thanks for joining us, guys.

joining thanks

↓

Uh, Frank, I, uh... I picked up your hair for you, so...

frank hair picked

↓

Dennis, you're looking better.

dennis looking

↓

I'm feeling better, Mac, no thanks to you.

feeling thanks

↓

Okay, guys, I'd-I'd like to make a quick toast,

quick toast

↓

if I could, before we begin.

begin

↓

Oh, my God! Why?

↓

Why are you people all here?

↓

Hey, man, don't interrupt, okay?

interrupt

↓

We're not ready to order. Go.

order ready

↓

Well, I couldn't take your order if I wanted to,

order wanted

↓

because I'm just here to beg for my job back,

↓

thanks to this guy.

thanks

↓

Do I know you?

↓

- Unbelievable. - I don't know what's going on here.

unbelievable

↓

- Can I get a whiskey, pal? - Can I have one as well?

whiskey

↓

Okay, guys, uh, before we begin,

begin

↓

I-I'd like to make a-a quick speech.

quick speech

↓

Frank... look,

frank

↓

we all understand why you were mad at us.

↓

You have every right to be. But I'd like to make a peace offering.

offering peace

↓

I sharpened my teeth, FYI.

sharpened teeth

↓

That's good. Wish you'd let me do it, but...

wish

↓

- Please don't interrupt. I... - Charlie, would...

charlie interrupt

↓

- could you get to the... - Yeah, okay. Uh...

↓

Over here is the peace offering.

offering peace

↓

Oh. Whoa. Is that a... is that a shake?

shake whoa

↓

Yeah. Can you guys just not interrupt me though?

interrupt

↓

- Can I have that, please? - No.

↓

- It's not for you. - Uh... - No. Yeah, no, no.

↓

Because th-that's blue, and you don't like blue, Dennis.

blue dennis

↓

Uh, well, I would very much like to have it,

↓

because I do feel like the shakes are finally kicking in

finally kicking shakes

↓

and that's why I'm feeling a little bit better, so...

feeling

↓

- Oh. - Yeah.

↓

Well, no, it's not for him, okay?

↓

- It's for Frank. - I'm not interested.

frank interested

↓

He doesn't want it, so I would like to have it, please.

↓

Absolutely not. I forbid it.

absolutely forbid

↓

Stop trying to prove yourself to me in all the wrong ways, Mac.

prove ways

↓

Yeah, look, Frank, just drink the shake, okay?

drink frank shake

↓

You have to have it.

↓

- He doesn't want it! - Somebody drink it!

drink somebody

↓

Give it to Dennis, for crying out loud.

crying dennis loud

↓

- Give it to me! - No! Absolutely not!

absolutely

↓

Why not, goddamn it?

goddamn goddamn-it

↓

- Because it's poisoned! - Oh!

poisoned

↓

- Uh, what? - I had to tell him!

↓

- He was gonna... - Oh, come on!

↓

- It was gonna be his blood and... - There's poison in it.

blood poison

↓

- We poisoned it. - Excuse me?

excuse poisoned

↓

- It has a little bit of poison in it. - It has poison in it.

poison

↓

- Poison in it. - It's got... It's poisoned.

poison poisoned

↓

You were gonna poison me, Charlie?

charlie poison

↓

- Yeah. - Yeah. And I was as well.

↓

It's just... But I was gonna save you, dude.

save

↓

Me, too.

↓

- Like, right afterward. - Immediately.

immediately

↓

I should've done that in the first place, man.

place shouldve

↓

- Me, too. - Shut up, Mac!

↓

You're stepping on my...

stepping

↓

Look, Frank, I'm sorry, dude.

frank

↓

I screwed up, man.

screwed

↓

I should've saved you,

saved shouldve

↓

and I'll always save you from now on, I promise.

promise save

↓

Thanks, Charlie.

charlie thanks thanks-charlie

↓

I knew you had my back.

↓

And I had your back, too, with the plan.

plan

↓

I was gonna...

↓

- do the plan... - Yeah, Mac glommed on

plan

↓

- to my thing and... - Yeah, and save Frank.

frank save

↓

- Yeah. - And then you were gonna be impressed by that

impressed

↓

- and see that you need me as well. - Oh.

↓

Okay. I think I understand.

↓

So you were still gonna rely on a decision

decision rely

↓

that somebody else made, only, this time,

somebody

↓

you were potentially gonna kill a man?

kill potentially

↓

Are you not pleased?

pleased

↓

- No. - Holy shit. I think Dee drank the shake.

drank holy shake

↓

Dee, did you... Dee?

↓

- Oh! - Holy shit. - Oh, Dee!

holy

↓

- That's okay. I have this. - Uh, okay.

↓

- Hit her with it, man. - All right, go.

↓

- No. - I'm telling you to do it.

telling

↓

I don't need you to tell me what to do, Dennis.

dennis

↓

I'm going to make my own decision.

decision

↓

Oh, Mac, now is not the time for this...

↓

Charlie, shut up! I'm done with your plans.

charlie plans

↓

- She ain't moving, man. - She wanted to see the other side,

aint moving side wanted

↓

and I want Dennis to see that I can make my own decision.

decision dennis

↓

Oh, my God! What is wrong with you people?!

↓

Okay. Uh... Ah.

↓

I saw it! I saw the other side. I didn't like it.

side

↓

I hated it. It was just blackness.

hated

↓

There's nothing there. It's just dark.

dark

↓

That's it. Just lights out. I don't want to do that anymore.

anymore lights

↓

I don't want to live on the edge. I don't want to die. Thank you.

edge live

↓

Thank you so much, whoever you are.

↓

Hey, dude, can we get some,

↓

- like, bread sticks and menus and, you know... - Yeah.

bread menus sticks

↓

- I mean, we've been here a while. - Dinner and a show.

dinner

↓

- synced and corrected by sot26 - www.addic7ed.com

corrected synced