It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Season 14, Episode 2 — Thunder Gun 4 - Maximum Cool

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I hope they don't show us
#1
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some boring art house movie.
#2
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Well, the title of the movie is terrible.
#3
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I mean, Focus Group? What is that?
#4
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Focus Group isn't the title of the movie.
#5
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- We're in a focus group. - Huh?
#6
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Charlie, we're here to watch, analyze, critique,
#7
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and then, most importantly, judge
#8
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whatever film we're gonna be shown.
#9
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Uh, these filmmakers... they need valuable input,
#10
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and we have been carefully selected to provide it.
#11
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We were walking out of the mall,
#12
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and they offered us Red Lobster gift cards.
#13
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Nevertheless, you know, they've chosen wisely.
#14
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Uh, good afternoon, everyone.
#15
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I-I want to thank you for joining us today.
#16
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Now, your feedback is very important to us.
#17
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- Sweet. - I'm sorry.
#18
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I'm just a little confused here,
#19
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'cause I can't follow this movie.
#20
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The movie hasn't started yet.
#21
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Yeah, uh, Moderator, not to worry.
#22
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I-I just want to assure you that your movie is in good hands.
#23
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Y-You've chosen wisely.
#24
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See, I, myself, am a prolific filmmaker.
#25
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In fact, while you don't thrill me,
#26
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I might even consider you for one of my roles.
#27
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Well, thank you, um, but I'm not really a performer.
#28
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I'll get a performance out of you.
#29
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- Uh, where will we appear in the credits? - In the credits?
#30
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- Are we gonna be at the front? - Yeah, for our contribution.
#31
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- Sort of the beginning of the film, or...? - Yeah.
#32
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Well, you-you will not be.
#33
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But your opinions are valuable to us.
#34
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- And you're gonna get a lot of them. - Oh, yeah.
#35
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I'm already tearing this entire experience apart.
#36
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- As am I. - Me, too.
#37
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- Why don't we just start? - I'll tell you what. Why don't you
#38
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- just go ahead and show us - Let's just, let's see.
#39
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whatever piece of shit you're gonna show us, you know,
#40
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- Yeah. - so we can tear it apart and get out to Red Lobster?
#41
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- Yeah, I'm hungry. - Okay.
#42
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So the title of the film is...
#43
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Thunder Gun 4: Maximum Cool.
#44
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- Oh! - What?!
#45
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- Really?! - Holy...
#46
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_
#47
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Uh... uh...
#48
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What was that?
#49
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I, uh... I'm not sure.
#50
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- Uh... - I-I was totally lost.
#51
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Did they make Thunder Gun bad?
#52
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- Yeah. - Okay. So,
#53
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that was our movie.
#54
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Now, clearly, the film is not done,
#55
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but still a work in progress.
#56
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- Oh. - Oh, thank God!
#57
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- Okay, great. - Oh, Jesus.
#58
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Okay, so let's adjourn to the conference room to begin our session.
#59
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- Let's get into it. Yeah. - Yeah. Let's-let's fix it.
#60
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- We can, uh, we can fix it. - Oh, yeah.
#61
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Okay, why don't we just
#62
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break it down, act by act?
#63
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I'll play back a scene from the first act,
#64
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and then we can discuss.
#65
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- Yeah, okay. All right. - Okay.
#66
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* Train roll on... *
#67
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- Excuse me. - * On down the line... *
#68
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Is your name John? John ThunderGun?
#69
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Mm. Maybe once.
#70
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Not anymore.
#71
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I'm Dr. Ling.
#72
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This is my assistant Max.
#73
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I'm head of research and development for Com-Tec.
#74
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We need your help.
#75
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Why?
#76
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You got a bottle of whiskey that needs draining?
#77
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A man named Colonel Washington has stolen a formula
#78
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from our lab.
#79
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In the wrong hands, this formula could be used
#80
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as a powerful weapon.
#81
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A weapon that could destroy millions of lives.
#82
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We need it back, but he wants something from us.
#83
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Oh, yeah? What's that?
#84
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Not what, but who.
#85
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I am Colonel Washington.
#86
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You know my reputation, so you'll give me what I seek.
#87
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Where is ThunderGun?
#88
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Right here.
#89
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Me.
#90
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I am ThunderGun.
#91
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I am ThunderGun.
#92
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I am ThunderGun.
#93
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I am ThunderGun!
#94
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I am ThunderGun!
#95
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I am ThunderGun! I am ThunderGun!
#96
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I am...
#97
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Okay, who has questions about the setup?
#98
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- Mm. - Oh.
#99
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- Me, me, me, me! - Yeah.
#100
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- Um, let's start with you. - What's being set up?
#101
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Um... the entire movie.
#102
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The, uh...
#103
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So, the main characters, the story, the villain.
#104
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That's where you lost me. Who's the bad guy?
#105
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Well, Colonel Washington, obviously.
#106
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That's not clear.
#107
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In the old movies, the good guy wore white,
#108
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the bad guy wore black, or was black.
#109
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Well, depending on the hero.
#110
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Right? It's-it's not a racial thing.
#111
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- Mm. - It's about opposites.
#112
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See, I want the bad guy to be different than me
#113
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- so I know why I hate him. - Mm-hmm.
#114
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- Mm. - I hate people who are different than me.
#115
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Mm-hmm. Yeah. Like Rocky one.
#116
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Bad guy was black.
#117
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Rocky II... another black guy.
#118
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Rocky III... different black guy with a mohawk.
#119
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- Right. - Yeah, but in Die Hard,
#120
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- the bad guy was foreign, right? - Hmm.
#121
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- Yeah. - So I know why I hate him.
#122
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- There we go. - Yeah.
#123
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People hate foreigners.
#124
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- Right. - Yeah, we hate them. - Right? So in Thunder Gun,
#125
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you don't have to do any reshoots, right?
#126
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- Yeah. - Don't-don't make him black.
#127
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- Just give him an accent. - What kind of accent?
#128
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What about Australian? That's pretty foreign.
#129
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No, that's not gonna work.
#130
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'Cause they're white.
#131
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No, because they're fun.
#132
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They're a very fun group of people, right? I mean...
#133
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- Yeah. - Try to hate an Australian.
#134
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- It's impossible. - A bunch of rapscallions.
#135
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- Little rascals. - Ooh, but French, though.
#136
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- French. - Ugh.
#137
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- Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Snobby. Snobby, yes.
#138
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Yes, yes. You will definitely dislike him,
#139
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but you won't fear him because he's most likely a pussy.
#140
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- Oh. - Right. - That's right.
#141
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- Not scary. Not scary. - Right, right.
#142
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When in doubt,
#143
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- go Eastern European, right? - Right.
#144
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- That's a classically evil part of the world. - Uh-huh.
#145
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- There you go. - That'd work.
#146
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You know, let's talk a bit about the female character.
#147
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- Nah. - Do we have to?
#148
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- I would love to. - The studio needs
#149
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a female perspective.
#150
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What did you think of Dr. Ling?
#151
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Oh, I think she sucks. First of all, she comes in
#152
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with a whole plan, like she's starting the movie.
#153
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So, you... you want the female characters to have less agency?
#154
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Yeah. Look, I feel bad enough about myself as is.
#155
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I don't need some super hot, funny, smart chick doing, like,
#156
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roundhouse kicks and cracking computer codes
#157
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- to make me feel worse. - Mm. Mm-hmm.
#158
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No. No. I-I like the women of the old Thunder Gun days, right?
#159
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Bed 'em and dead 'em.
#160
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Look, first act, he meets a lady.
#161
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She's super hot, but I'm smarter, right?
#162
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And then he bangs her, and she gets dead.
#163
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And-and later on, he meets someone.
#164
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All right, this one's smart, I'll give her that,
#165
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but I'm funnier.
#166
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You know what I mean?
#167
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He bangs her, she gets dead, and then,
#168
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and in the end, he falls in love with an ugly one,
#169
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and who cares about that? I don't care about that.
#170
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And then she gets dead, and that sets up
#171
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for the next movie, and I'm all in.
#172
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Because all of the women are dead.
#173
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You know? No competition.
#174
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- Oh, that's a good point. Yeah. - Yeah.
#175
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- Right? - Okay, yeah. Write that down.
#176
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- Women hate women. - I...
#177
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I think the studio was trying to get away
#178
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from the female character just acting
#179
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as a plot device or a sex trophy.
#180
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- Ah, but, yeah, why? - Why?
#181
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- But that works. - Okay, let's move past this.
#182
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Let's take it into the second act with this next clip.
#183
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I'm sorry I dragged you into this, ThunderGun.
#184
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Don't lose hope.
#185
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We may get out of this yet.
#186
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But if we don't,
#187
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I think there's something I should tell you.
#188
88294a7b-1483-4df6-b4f4-4813365d0cff.gif
We've met before.
#189
43794d4d-3a90-4c6e-937e-0f3ee8bdd078.gif
Detroit.
#190
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Winter.
#191
88f2ba17-af8c-4b69-b89d-bc35df8cafd0.gif
At a bar.
#192
98a3930f-2ee7-4d62-818e-a2dff9cc36cc.gif
I went home with you.
#193
efd97870-32f1-4299-8ec6-ebbcffa1e5e2.gif
The next morning, you were gone,
#194
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and I never heard from you again.
#195
9a95508a-8907-4674-b936-d0d866965d5b.gif
I'm sorry if I hurt you.
#196
bf201f7f-84f2-44e5-9427-97a2f44012ef.gif
I never was good at being tied down.
#197
68743339-c461-4475-ad10-3b0bcdb262cb.gif
No, it's not that. It's just...
#198
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My assistant.
#199
9807135d-d239-4f6b-881e-b40fdc9ee513.gif
You know Max.
#200
51851977-dcb8-4b57-8e31-d0c234273db6.gif
Well, he's not just my assistant.
#201
2fb4c809-4705-4bf7-ad99-1de570d50ca5.gif
He's my son.
#202
3e8312f7-b3a6-4b47-9c0e-ab0c9b8ef01a.gif
- Are you trying to tell me... - Yes, John.
#203
be0731da-aa00-4570-a465-070c72ca34b0.gif
He's your son, too.
#204
6d18755f-aa2b-478a-98c8-e1a32d4f7adb.gif
Max is your son.
#205
f721c090-8d27-4b2a-8e56-eebccccc8ac8.gif
Okay.
#206
858d04d7-c9d1-4167-8faf-2887e60d6783.gif
So, this is the midpoint twist.
#207
14b63b3d-42f1-4afe-8f0c-e6d126f6e76f.gif
What is?
#208
39628752-b74a-433a-9cc7-54d8b44e5775.gif
Um, ThunderGun finding out he has a son.
#209
2a4703fc-ee06-44e1-85b5-bead423a2e6b.gif
- Mm-hmm. - He has a son?
#210
f7c65d31-2e9e-4f43-8603-64989430c082.gif
Yes.
#211
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But how is this the twist?
#212
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I mean, because he's got a kid?
#213
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I mean, he's probably got a thousand kids,
#214
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all the raw-dog loads he drops.
#215
0539aa24-f905-4c74-a458-d1fa50851041.gif
I don't know what "raw-dog loads" are.
#216
fdcc01e2-82b2-4834-81b4-399271901c56.gif
Sorry for him. But my disgusting friend
#217
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does bring up a good point.
#218
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I mean, every Thunder Gun movie
#219
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has at least one very tasteful yet very erotic sex scene in it,
#220
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- and this had none. - Mm.
#221
36f39adb-a1b0-4b66-b338-edbf19701989.gif
Yeah. I've... I've been waiting for the right time
#222
c8b7be91-d7b1-41b7-bd92-a53b2f527f78.gif
to bring this up, but I feel like we need to address
#223
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the elephant in the room, no?
#224
3a471846-3fe3-45ce-850a-25d487cd7f34.gif
- Yeah, this is a big one for us. - Might as well.
#225
becd5c11-ff0d-48c4-b3d3-e8aff8b194d8.gif
- I've been thinking about it. - Might as well. - Yeah.
#226
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Okay, so...
#227
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where's the dong?
#228
efa80332-f252-4957-8e93-a4e2b822f14c.gif
The-the dong?
#229
2b67fc27-a31f-4126-a78f-690c2e5f07a6.gif
- The dong. - Yeah, yeah.
#230
1cb9d002-de98-4264-99a6-05d7f0a5b856.gif
Yeah, the dong. The dong.
#231
80b7b293-6df0-4f41-8d78-4492e81c0518.gif
John ThunderGun has hung dong
#232
ecc31fa6-de66-47ef-bd91-7c6ae472ba55.gif
in every chapter of this saga.
#233
8a82670d-19f7-44f2-a799-1968b9ab2d01.gif
And, well, I just watched 90 minutes of one,
#234
e902b12b-c111-410e-b1d3-c1b362287d8a.gif
and yet not one hang.
#235
90f926d7-823a-4c2d-b3c7-a4212cab9a15.gif
Well, I think that the studio was thinking
#236
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the gratuitous nudity was maybe a bit much.
#237
4d2a039e-8d6e-48cb-a5dd-c0340ab789ac.gif
- Fuck you. -Bullshit!
#238
eb738a0a-d8de-4ce6-ad91-a74fedea5f34.gif
- Bullshit! - This is exactly the type of Hollywood bullshit
#239
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- that America is sick of. - What are you talking about?
#240
4770c958-d331-4001-86e1-6ec1d3a4129b.gif
Hollywood's completely out of touch.
#241
eb9274d9-88fe-43eb-9408-18c5a4cb1cba.gif
- So out of touch with what people want! - Don't you want to give people
#242
776373e8-ac94-4e92-95af-33eba59f9b3f.gif
- what people actually want? - There's a bigger issue here.
#243
cc4531c9-7cbc-4e80-b052-8f99a8418c60.gif
Movies are different now.
#244
8bd40fcf-2c2b-403b-abb4-e0a4533cca4c.gif
You lost a sense of community.
#245
f79f6890-2732-4003-b424-05a38b5aeaca.gif
Interesting. Go on.
#246
62b58f71-0c10-4553-818c-f5a9171f9043.gif
Look, years ago, before the Internet,
#247
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we would all go out to the movies together.
#248
6c1d6e41-fcc2-4ac3-b89e-4918a278775a.gif
Yes. This is exactly what studios
#249
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are trying to bring back. A-An event.
#250
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- A place we can all go to enjoy as a community. - Yeah.
#251
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I mean, it used to be
#252
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you give the creep-show at the window a couple of bucks,
#253
e29be1b4-d770-452e-b3d1-67f81914df83.gif
you could spend all day in there popping off.
#254
76c0268c-550b-4310-883a-ec7df129b13d.gif
And the joy of it was that there were people popping off
#255
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at the same time.
#256
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I mean, n-not that you looked
#257
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at each other. It was dark.
#258
1fdd8420-7f49-45f3-947b-7a4a59ca068b.gif
You weren't looking for the gay thing.
#259
c0d3f26d-886b-4ca4-aaa8-65fc628bcbbe.gif
But it gave you a sense of something bigger than yourself.
#260
70ed74b8-4ca7-42bd-becb-f06b001c3645.gif
Now, they... you know,
#261
dba9b437-00af-465c-9071-5b5c6d06d78b.gif
got rid of all these movie theaters.
#262
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They're taking all the sex out of the movies.
#263
b5d77e86-6b17-486f-bd0c-509126edf070.gif
And what am I supposed to do?
#264
9aa999e5-4482-483b-ba40-b0b4b822a49e.gif
Go home, turn the lights off and pop off in front of Charlie?
#265
35447e97-42f9-4cc3-9676-6f10f914734a.gif
No, thanks.
#266
28c64f5c-308b-4f23-93c0-4b60203db989.gif
I'm sorry.
#267
c4df8b6d-d17f-4b71-a96c-c99dac52c627.gif
Are you talking about pornography theaters?
#268
80263fe4-f804-441d-abf1-62a4832319a4.gif
I'm talking about community, honey.
#269
37199009-f0d5-4e36-b0e5-84a1a818802a.gif
Right. E... Uh, yeah, even if the studios
#270
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wanted to put back in the nudity,
#271
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they couldn't because of the new rating.
#272
d7f761ce-0e6c-4573-ac37-a126a676a5ca.gif
Wh-What do you mean, the new rating?
#273
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Thunder Gun: Maximum Cool will be rated PG-13.
#274
ff4f4918-519e-4e8a-8f28-1d7dec397ceb.gif
What?
#275
d97e2df3-4504-45e1-9887-73aae6da81e6.gif
Now, that's quite a midpoint twist.
#276
9a2dce15-1672-4956-a7e1-2a6819643640.gif
They did it! They did.
#277
742b1c82-b0c7-4d4e-a35d-0f79cd14fb2d.gif
They ruined everything with this PC bullshit.
#278
82910889-97ab-4e92-ba37-e7c50448f683.gif
Straight white men can't have anything anymore.
#279
a2d4c315-68f2-4bce-861b-8b2ee5593c6f.gif
Men? Look, don't forget white women.
#280
d562fe6a-4162-446a-9c79-6e1d5c2e6b3c.gif
We got completely passed over.
#281
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Yeah, and I can't follow any of this.
#282
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We're feeling a lot of outrage right now, you know,
#283
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because we want something, and we know we deserve it,
#284
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- but we're not getting it. - Mm.
#285
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I'm mad, but I don't know at what anymore.
#286
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That's what it is!
#287
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That's what it is! I'm pissed!
#288
9e089d27-9aab-4dde-ae54-6fd98ad3d0a9.gif
- Aah! I'm mad. - Listen, listen.
#289
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Our way of life is changing,
#290
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- and that's scary. - Right.
#291
82bd9ae8-7f2e-4329-9a8a-d150714815a2.gif
- We don't want to change. - Oh, that makes me so angry.
#292
b1cc3224-68b6-4cea-8a24-14d6c38c4a16.gif
- Makes me mad. - I want to cling
#293
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to the way things were, but they're done.
#294
a928baeb-303a-4ab1-a90b-723ebb82d8ad.gif
- Let's get out of here. - Let's run from this.
#295
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- We'll run from it. - Wait, wait, wait,
#296
a0b6c822-6a8f-4078-9bff-1359a18c4ade.gif
- wait, wait. - Do we have to, legally?
#297
ba464df1-b9bb-4b60-8aeb-481404053a5c.gif
Guys, we can't run. Come on.
#298
29e7f756-eb26-4243-ab87-213343ef6b9e.gif
What's ThunderGun's slogan?
#299
a91c4e6c-0dac-4cbb-9e97-d706fc6674f6.gif
"No hesitation, no surrender, no man left behind."
#300
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Did we leave a guy in there, though?
#301
0ddd840e-5bc1-431a-ba2f-a9c0afaf243c.gif
Goddamn right we did, Charlie,
#302
929d3381-59a1-4eab-a6e3-5b1a5a61b440.gif
and his name is John ThunderGun.
#303
c133652c-5fc4-4e26-89b1-cf0515e54123.gif
Like it or not, we have a civic duty to uphold.
#304
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We owe it to ourselves, to ThunderGun,
#305
425ae83a-c1c2-4803-8914-a006756e0040.gif
and to movie audiences all over the world
#306
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to put a stop to this liberal, PC bullshit.
#307
3b9fe245-f4aa-429c-9672-06012fdff12e.gif
Mm-hmm. - But I think we have been selected
#308
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for a cosmic reason here; to put an end to this.
#309
48506aae-baf0-49e7-8c19-5b6fbe24e5de.gif
To not pull our punches.
#310
72c2e6d6-f4bb-4716-ba5b-4b0ad8ef778f.gif
To save the dong.
#311
1f041b96-8220-42a9-8d7e-79ffb162bfc3.gif
Save the dong.
#312
79a8827c-c801-4ced-a2b3-1ef2ec1c2725.gif
- Save the dong. - Save the dong.
#313
edb6bd22-1584-4db1-8e61-ff62f99e816c.gif
- I agree. - Oh, for God's sakes.
#314
1ee1d5d5-8591-4715-bf42-1b1e90784d83.gif
- This is why you don't include women. - Are you kidding me?!
#315
1a472636-648f-45f2-b77a-4f73799db0fc.gif
What?!
#316
37df17aa-1945-468f-9e54-9c3fe1f0d0c7.gif
Don't you see that there was a rhythm?
#317
c145daea-4e11-40e2-b21e-bd78db1bafdd.gif
- Like a cinematic rhythm. - Oh, let's do it again.
#318
26670ca1-4b00-4093-9474-41660b530e00.gif
- Let's do it again. - No way. No way!
#319
e3c2e3e5-a034-4211-88b7-1d0fa8ff68f1.gif
- I get it now. - You-you can't...
#320
162b94ce-78ec-4e55-89af-dd7b97ca8853.gif
You can't give women the zingers.
#321
dff629c2-9aa3-40be-8cd3-38d1375567ef.gif
Now, you listen here, you goddamn Hollywood communist.
#322
84172bd0-7c9f-4834-a83d-ac68a503cc9c.gif
I live in Roxborough.
#323
e0aa8bb3-1277-4aa6-b603-eebbd2efd03c.gif
Again, I didn't make this movie.
#324
ae7b8f09-4587-434f-af41-945c4561f405.gif
Listen to me, listen to me. If you start to strip sex
#325
354dc350-a446-4960-aa47-c3c8aa41e721.gif
out of our communities, out of our culture
#326
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and-and even our art,
#327
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not only do you isolate people, but you create an oppression
#328
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disguised as morality.
#329
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I mean, the... the Thunder Gun series
#330
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has always been groundbreaking in so many ways,
#331
b35d2518-f2b4-450e-9c67-8e80ebff1cd5.gif
notwithstanding the recognition of an inequality
#332
4f6181a5-42eb-4e4e-bd1a-370c3457bebb.gif
that was present in cinema since its beginning days.
#333
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The objectifying of the female form. I mean,
#334
24e0780b-7175-4e98-a0d5-5a006f56bf75.gif
with Thunder Gun, a great injustice was rectified. Okay?
#335
e862224e-b07d-4a72-b360-b14eae2dc31d.gif
Fairness of the sexes.
#336
dff5ded4-9f90-4a2f-bac6-9011d6205114.gif
A unification of the human condition.
#337
184f20fa-7e3a-4e1d-9859-4068daf5a1da.gif
I'm sorry, is this still about the flaccid penis
#338
3a35271c-f4ff-4f00-b49c-ac75df1af4b2.gif
you'd like to see?
#339
7cb16622-d1ba-47a8-9bb1-a2d13f787110.gif
You're goddamn right!
#340
9b72d54b-9f22-4bb8-8da2-1c455878bfb4.gif
- Yeah. - We want to see it.
#341
0e4b0ae5-b05e-43e1-a018-6ca03bd5ae5f.gif
Yes, we want to see the man's dick, but...
#342
d309f0f2-3d81-44bc-bc49-01f7d2bcf6ff.gif
I guess what I'm saying is that it's no longer
#343
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just about gratuitous boobs,
#344
d2c27bf6-29f4-443a-a42e-bee75d6d1f42.gif
it's also about gratuitous penis.
#345
d332d3b1-a7ec-40a0-b25c-0c1b1ea091e6.gif
I mean, ThunderGun was about progress.
#346
efdb65db-da6c-4ab8-a840-d9bc7a042c39.gif
Right. Uh, I think we all can agree
#347
de5ae7b5-aeb9-4ef9-b9a4-5495a8b35d04.gif
that public opinion has sort of turned against the idea
#348
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of someone exposing themselves.
#349
cea587d6-689c-4df5-b952-ed8667dd7d58.gif
Oh, here we go. Here we go.
#350
8ad26d40-4550-4e8a-917c-3df0a362381a.gif
- This is a different thing. - You're not understanding it.
#351
594e473c-1dfc-4c8e-bb27-bcb2610b6989.gif
See, ThunderGun didn't take his dick out to intimidate people.
#352
926775e4-053c-44bd-a4f0-6c88345c9554.gif
He did it because he had accomplished his mission.
#353
acd3d991-9559-4ad9-8abd-aac91edf0e59.gif
He wanted to kick back and call it a day.
#354
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He did do it once to intimidate someone,
#355
0b979b41-89d9-4d38-ae80-0f3f2edf2163.gif
- but that was the bad guy. - It was the bad guy.
#356
7dd83a76-32ad-423d-9524-7e06b52d537c.gif
And it just so happened the bad guy was a female.
#357
663c39ae-52d8-4b17-bca3-05b79d1fca8b.gif
That was the best one. That was the best one!
#358
1d124b79-9b46-449c-995b-39e4002cb405.gif
- That was funny. - It made me wish I had a dong
#359
29fbd79d-d298-4cbb-b23a-b4c78e85ed53.gif
that I could pull out to celebrate my accomplishments.
#360
63219e85-82e0-4aa9-ba37-0e544891a3b1.gif
You know? Or maybe just feel the cool breeze
#361
1329b1cb-1910-4972-85e9-7d0b019f166d.gif
gently tickle the shaft on a, on a crisp autumn morn.
#362
7bea2124-f72a-43e2-8f39-22b64e8cf4ea.gif
I don't know, whatever men do to... to feel powerful.
#363
717ce2f8-43ef-471c-bc41-7ec5077bad17.gif
- That's what it is. - It really is. It really is.
#364
a0558af8-2ca5-45b0-8855-87f4f94b81bc.gif
Listen, Moderator, the point is this.
#365
8240d7b2-a8ca-4af8-bbdc-9f54470eab1a.gif
I mean, it used to be only, like,
#366
9085fe39-811c-4a80-8247-a0ae933e73c9.gif
the hard-line conservatives, like the pearl-clutching types,
#367
ab1b2310-7327-44c0-9302-d8e45c221515.gif
were the only ones that were overly vocal
#368
b1c94a24-40a1-4ba4-875d-df684fc990a9.gif
and extreme in their policing of sexuality.
#369
5a50d365-0c47-4c03-8701-6d1184903071.gif
But now you got this, like, liberal wave
#370
f8e3e205-c714-4443-bfd7-345a624f706c.gif
of moral authority sweeping the nation.
#371
e50c378f-6f71-4752-a6b5-e012728d0885.gif
You know, it's nuts. I mean, think about it.
#372
f4421dfa-d732-4554-9283-73001be81468.gif
If the conservatives had always run Hollywood,
#373
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movies would have sucked.
#374
4e347f9d-9d8b-4d03-991a-7bc1cd4e966d.gif
You know what I mean? The art would have suffered.
#375
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So I guess the question we're asking is
#376
6813a2ad-058f-467f-b3a2-88220ab7a336.gif
how will art fare under the oppressive thumb
#377
4a1cb9a2-b3ce-41c8-a09a-cfc0a6bbc7db.gif
of this new liberal Hollywood moral PC elite?
#378
442b9f79-6438-483d-b715-3441ada6c81d.gif
Well, I don't know. It's tough to say.
#379
1e69e6fb-ee78-48e8-9982-cee3975607e3.gif
But is that a world that we want to live in?
#380
7010b90b-89fc-4140-b283-92d7069e7098.gif
I say no.
#381
dda74e22-9211-4d90-a5d4-3b7f1d748df1.gif
I say give me dong
#382
a9b43707-f4b7-436e-85a0-a9d58f20c294.gif
or give me death.
#383
048ad390-957c-4e2b-8c22-60e27f50f8ef.gif
Yeah!
#384
4a594ffe-f4d2-445b-ab8c-e461085ebd97.gif
Yeah, man, don't tell me
#385
d7ba16c2-c12f-48b6-9139-ebf63814356a.gif
what I can see and what I can't see.
#386
fcf55803-e084-4084-8378-e0cd0eef9687.gif
So, uh, just to be clear here, they didn't make it PG-13
#387
99542b92-f72f-4bdc-bc76-96826cded5bd.gif
because of political correctness.
#388
b81d722c-dce8-43a6-a81c-e26d9633cd77.gif
- Oh, did they not? - No. No-no. They-they made it PG-13
#389
c0e57759-9d91-4f12-bc1f-9d19bd85a5a6.gif
because rated-R movies
#390
ad5c8872-027c-426c-b0b6-336d28e6cc19.gif
aren't making as much money anymore.
#391
57e96251-e389-4259-9ab1-f752badf0f87.gif
Because of streaming, and most importantly,
#392
df3428a9-025b-4883-87ea-f83f5839d734.gif
- piracy. - Piracy, huh?
#393
357fd093-6581-49a6-8e5a-51b139124e06.gif
Yeah, and how have you all been viewing the franchise?
#394
e6cce03b-e913-4b53-afbc-a17aa13dea2c.gif
- Oh, no-no, not through piracy. - No.
#395
10cb7133-bf0f-4bbb-bba0-d60336d63d5b.gif
In f... In fact, we, we-we saw the last installment
#396
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of-of the franchise out in the theater.
#397
a5cef391-9f90-47b5-b56a-d6b3845a8164.gif
- We barely made it. - We barely made it.
#398
a9101d7e-5ba4-41fe-921a-51ec5ea95dea.gif
Oh, wait, no-no, hold on,
#399
6237778a-bbb0-4554-8d16-fd1812bd954f.gif
but Frank called in that bomb threat.
#400
80e7cf12-62bd-49f0-b044-b57c96d8c0f4.gif
Oh, but-but that was okay, because remember,
#401
0abc95f9-4c8e-4fb4-b282-841040c1446b.gif
then we went home, and we, we saw it on the Internet.
#402
e7aafd1d-5ebd-489b-b408-f1f625f3908d.gif
- Caught it online. - We caught it online.
#403
e66a3923-8835-4a3a-b271-553ab6ee490e.gif
Oh, yeah-yeah-yeah. On that website that has all the movies.
#404
53f90fa5-d51f-43fc-9c29-2d84b3c6837f.gif
So, that's... that is pirating.
#405
6bce7db9-5a70-4ddd-9c79-d1690bf90c33.gif
No, no, no, pirating is stealing.
#406
7345ae26-1a59-4369-aaa7-223212dd027b.gif
We didn't steal it, okay? We just downloaded it.
#407
b469d2fd-6548-42d0-a740-d84d9e2e9a64.gif
Uh, the website is called "MoviePirate.com."
#408
6dc0f2ae-1277-438b-ae5e-9e30edf8db9c.gif
And the other one is called,
#409
7bbdfea8-7ea3-4652-8409-13a345532cfc.gif
uh, "FreeMovies/Arrrgh."
#410
8fcf44be-9c1a-4563-ad79-705675f4993f.gif
Ah, I'm starting to see a little bit of a pattern here,
#411
90bdfbd2-ce7b-40de-8094-caf368b7fbfb.gif
because, uh, I also use one called "StolenMovies.free."
#412
adca4c1d-1b5f-475f-a439-83231ab202a5.gif
So... you're part of the problem.
#413
7dd29e64-7f9c-4410-bd1c-17ce17cdf858.gif
Because of people like you, the studios felt like
#414
dbfd6b95-b809-4cec-b99d-d0feb5ffeec2.gif
this was their only recourse.
#415
245278cb-0772-4bfb-afd5-f760a7af2c51.gif
PG-13 opens up a whole new market.
#416
f23a7ade-a8ac-479d-8870-b74faa941595.gif
You're saying it's our fault that we don't get to see the dong?
#417
b0b2c7dd-2a01-4cf1-a204-2d7dff7cead5.gif
You're coming in there changing everything, you know,
#418
0f7a386e-54d8-4c1a-8195-3ff26c9b92c3.gif
getting rid of the dong, I mean,
#419
cdd4b564-b12b-4b07-a7a4-47fe1e3cbda7.gif
how is that even Thunder Gun anymore?
#420
c88fda6a-166c-4a3c-8fd3-79b50e7ff6ee.gif
Well, yeah, th-they're changing it.
#421
764cbb12-c606-4d7b-9e82-a1cccb3a6dec.gif
They're rebooting the entire franchise.
#422
2a3014d5-2c1f-4316-92b3-8e7cc4e40e57.gif
- What? - What d... What?
#423
55d08900-b8a2-4c94-8701-7611fda6d48b.gif
You guys didn't get that from the final scene?
#424
796a3650-f1ce-45ac-ad46-2a2c1d0d2eaf.gif
Uh, no, what...?
#425
67ecd6f5-0906-44c5-9076-a51c6a6c3dab.gif
Okay. Let's review.
#426
ed2d46ad-bbd7-4f62-909d-366b6f3e1ded.gif
I'm not gonna make it through this one.
#427
50e9e07e-b7f3-4ec8-82e9-78f3e74c3a28.gif
We can both go detonate the hydro-fusion bomb.
#428
5f3d9bbc-af1a-405a-b696-477d4a61579a.gif
No hesitation. No surrender. No man left behind!
#429
ee3556b2-3883-48d3-90d7-10c001decbbe.gif
Not this time.
#430
89b0441a-32ef-4903-bb1c-2266ff9126df.gif
No, Dad.
#431
dae44142-baaa-430d-8d8e-1df02e6a9901.gif
Please.
#432
e50a1acd-85a5-4e19-b9f7-c4ce0478c806.gif
Sometimes in order to save something...
#433
fd485717-5523-4a38-a1fd-99a021a60257.gif
you have to destroy something.
#434
5a1a9a33-ef0f-4c1d-9468-38beca788488.gif
You'll need this to get out of here, son.
#435
b1526285-d914-4043-a45c-f3a185ebbe1b.gif
To continue our story.
#436
394b0bba-2f3a-4d30-a9fc-380a16d3b763.gif
So, you see, they're rebooting the franchise
#437
8a21f485-8370-421e-a473-b828f16fcc9e.gif
for a younger audience.
#438
86f2e6d0-af1d-47b9-8889-e0e5faa14d5f.gif
The only people who are actually
#439
f4c11ccf-1de6-458e-9a45-b6b4e0317654.gif
still going to see movies.
#440
f80c12c4-49f6-48cc-828b-bfdf8e493f72.gif
I did not get that.
#441
e992a320-a364-4e55-b6e4-24ec134cf3d1.gif
Well, you haven't gotten anything the entire day.
#442
531d7ce7-56e2-4e7d-b8f4-ad2de8b9e2c1.gif
Got to side with Charlie on this one.
#443
08ce0669-82d6-44e6-8006-707ddb94a422.gif
I didn't get it. Now, wh-what was with the fire stick?
#444
519d1ac7-edbf-4a7b-862b-90420d0b5863.gif
You mean the torch?
#445
59854352-93fa-4e21-969c-f1a6b64771be.gif
The one he passed to his son Max...
#446
cee9f4db-bdb5-468d-950b-982804c5ad88.gif
as in Maximum Cool... and said,
#447
9fd30b2f-0433-48a2-bc4b-c1a9dfa01237.gif
"You need to continue our story"?
#448
0e69a786-184c-40c5-8217-a9be0723482b.gif
It's the camera guy who screwed up.
#449
3da84332-bfbe-4547-9c4b-b8d6a6cb78e1.gif
'Cause ThunderGun, he fell into that fiery abyss,
#450
72d4ab93-298a-4f32-b565-91a8acee3947.gif
- and for some reason, we're watching the kid... - Yeah,
#451
24bec8b9-1397-423e-b1dd-931f73d766ab.gif
we wanted to go down into the volcano with John...
#452
373d39fd-f70a-45cd-b415-0a5e6f9ffddb.gif
No-no, you guys don't get it. It's a cliffhanger. Yeah?
#453
f2c1db1c-b046-4409-9958-911583f911bc.gif
It's a cliffhanger. We're gonna find out what happened to John
#454
8ab9d9c4-4302-4a4a-9790-05a8cf07a25e.gif
in the next movie, Thunder Gun 5...
#455
e68009e1-1fe1-41fd-afd0-4c3697f3832f.gif
- Ooh... - Or, or there's a post-credit scene
#456
bc50e3e7-b5b5-49b6-940d-43d2da36bec0.gif
- that we didn't get to see, yes? - No. No. There's none of that.
#457
01dc9d7d-f3b7-4721-9daa-29fe6f08291c.gif
This isn't a cliffhanger. He's dead.
#458
e7aae078-2711-4918-a8d8-3e293d91ea32.gif
John is dead. Now we follow the son's story.
#459
67b7e39f-2be1-4610-9870-ba24c7e51f53.gif
- No! - I don't, I don't want to.
#460
e89f5888-8cdc-4718-b542-f022672e9ea6.gif
- I don't think so. - No.
#461
02e7147e-b716-4598-9c56-9ee2110fcada.gif
You don't have to think. I'm telling you, that's what it is.
#462
0b7521e4-129e-4487-b58c-9750a123d929.gif
ThunderGun fell into a volcano.
#463
9c1c8b39-5c4a-4404-82ae-69b9d9c25934.gif
He died. And now his son Max becomes Thunder Son,
#464
4290909f-2c46-4f8a-8f9f-afdf2a8ee192.gif
the face of the franchise moving forward.
#465
3b003a1d-47b8-4196-b7fb-bc6a005e7d65.gif
Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait...
#466
b6207c66-60b5-4510-875c-9ffba46c4799.gif
He has a son?
#467
76b1bc0e-abc2-4fb2-9f66-1b633ce647ec.gif
Fuck, man! What?
#468
35b5028d-f2f2-4f73-acc4-75e585840e5a.gif
- How do you not get that? - It wasn't clear.
#469
f50f9d70-c133-407c-b602-117c16f14ce8.gif
Reshoots. Reshoots. You got to reshoot.
#470
64b713a5-c39d-4094-ba47-3385582369c2.gif
- Yeah, reshoots. - Reshoots to make the movie more clear...
#471
7827ecae-14dc-458d-9a91-cfc9d1bc5c00.gif
No! That's not what we're gonna do.
#472
db7372a7-d5c4-42d0-9dc7-89df76aba11e.gif
We're out of time. That's it. That's... We're done.
#473
4088339a-63a3-473f-9e73-184fdea43025.gif
But you're ruining our favorite movie! Uh...
#474
1c52e9de-4058-4df7-a9c6-174d67c84df1.gif
- How can we save the movies that we love? - Yeah.
#475
7aee88fe-235c-4ff7-868c-a4af80b90575.gif
Maybe if you actually go out to the theaters
#476
ea0966ea-b908-4146-a05b-832826ac541f.gif
and pay to see them, then they will continue to make them.
#477
4e020efb-61a3-4733-a949-11b4e6c1cf00.gif
Whoa! Oh, that's easy for you to say!
#478
0e2b28f6-cfba-4001-a346-730d2443eef8.gif
With your Hollywood liberal bank account!
#479
f3057010-9a85-43fd-8699-20db006f90a5.gif
Jesus! Who are you people?!
#480
5b145e56-ba73-4952-a743-8e040e0c6fcf.gif
I... am ThunderGun.
#481
c2c53548-c907-4d0a-9e6e-8e529d097d23.gif
I... am ThunderGun.
#482
6524cf40-88cd-4a54-b989-048fe09aa1d6.gif
I... am ThunderGun.
#483
b0c03933-fe5e-4df6-bbf2-040e60905d4c.gif
I am... Thundergun.
#484
6322c5da-ebe3-483d-bd5f-852197647adb.gif
Goddammit, Dee!
#485
959702d3-d783-42f7-b622-12644330d233.gif
- Dee... - How did you not feel
#486
4199df5a-a43f-4edd-9c27-6562149346af.gif
- that I was next and then you? - I don't know.
#487
3ff120a2-4ace-4658-9206-42aa5e3b9eb6.gif
There was a build to it,
#488
0f02f308-f5a4-4cd4-ab8c-64826c16b4e6.gif
- and then... - It's like, we're trying
#489
d1f81345-293e-442b-8091-8c0e32bad3e1.gif
to give the woman the final thing, and she can't do it.
#490
faed7cf4-f93a-4181-8d59-4dfff992e953.gif
- Okay, start it over. - You can't go back.
#491
3d3d7511-96c4-4260-aae4-380ad5d43a96.gif
- Start it over? - You see the problem with women.
#492
6bf0777d-3074-4bb9-805f-892ed4d515a1.gif
Well, RIP ThunderGun, I guess.
#493
122c1f38-e407-4d69-bdaa-09458d6d9f19.gif
Yeah. What a waste.
#494
c274f81d-c18d-4c8a-9711-6fba29176f9d.gif
I recorded that whole thing for nothing.
#495
66387a4a-b8e5-45ab-b23b-6830c4cfaffc.gif
Dong-less!
#496
979d37ad-1441-4e52-a528-bbef6113176e.gif
Wait a second. You recorded the whole thing?
#497
d2a2b207-bc76-4b7e-af07-4d3b5c62bf15.gif
- Yeah. - Guys... hang on a second.
#498
6d134e46-ba0b-42ce-9974-eee6ce007acc.gif
Do you remember what ThunderGun said?
#499
90bf394e-f9fd-4ad2-b3ce-6d81192251b4.gif
Sometimes, in order to save something,
#500
beb656b4-ff48-4858-b895-ed0c48453a98.gif
you have to destroy something.
#501
db129865-d9ce-408d-b2ae-a8a2579eb9c2.gif
And I think I know what we have to do to save Thunder Gun.
#502
d3e1328b-3593-428f-b742-7a2e20925ca1.gif
Destroy it?
#503
7631d53b-7bdd-45df-af03-38429c692c8d.gif
Well, how are we gonna do that?
#504
6ae770e7-5fbc-405c-a85c-e7c9be9c5098.gif
With a little help. From some pirates.
#505
5601927d-7908-4fd4-a923-685dcbbc5acc.gif
No hesitation.
#506
df6ab3e2-de5b-4e01-95dc-3db6f37a893f.gif
No surrender.
#507
6143e441-5fbb-4beb-9a1c-8bc6efc1e1eb.gif
No man left behind!
#508
502770fc-e141-4672-a40e-0bae98510eab.gif
_
#509
25dbf4a8-313e-43ad-94e5-43e0dede500f.gif
_
#510
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_
#511
7dd37135-6dad-48ca-b80b-9acf8259d444.gif
_
#512
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_
#513
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_
#514
da887ee3-6e6b-456f-9310-b8cb8161b129.gif
_
#515
45213db6-b8c9-45c7-ab26-d526a59bc616.gif
_
#516
8482923c-7b90-4e98-811e-6239bc1d685d.gif
_
#517
e1d7d263-4e0e-4a39-a1f2-abc5aa02a870.gif
_
#518
4bf08efa-aff7-45e4-8991-18cc4afdc674.gif
Mmm.
#519
ce5edc25-323a-4390-8021-a1417165d47c.gif
I'm bored.
#520
54e76a86-035c-4f39-8c4c-d00cb00156d2.gif
Well, it looks like this new Thunder Gun movie's
#521
02ed2de2-4785-44dd-82e0-31c6a9aa9ede.gif
pretty good.
#522
1bb029ae-c7b9-47b7-bd3a-91730ce6d629.gif
Well, you guys want to see it?
#523
fb4e06d2-e91f-4220-9814-094ac8f8b647.gif
We're gonna have to do a mad dash across town, though.
#524
b9b6d8e2-8b19-438f-9d89-0232d7ad00a6.gif
It starts in 30 minutes.
#525
0fb5ccce-506b-4256-8351-76d4dfe5f1e5.gif
- To the sewers! - To the sewers!
#526
fee3430d-8695-4d22-b745-2efe6ec15aaf.gif
- Let's go! - Let's go!
#527
06078526-8d0b-4c74-8c07-ee34854cc1bc.gif
No, no, I meant like, let's see it on that pirate website.
#528
f2e6671f-aefa-40c8-88ab-31b5e661a358.gif
- You think it's up already? - Here, let me check.
#529
c1ea4c59-a02c-4386-8d2a-b33cec1ca7e8.gif
Yeah. We don't have to go across town.
#530
8acd66e4-0abd-4c17-808a-6b4b6feff0a1.gif
- It's probably on the, uh... - Yeah, it's free.
#531
d7d6aa3d-97b1-42c6-a67d-56533ee443c0.gif
We can stay here and watch it.
#532
71448081-e44a-4c37-9a13-bd7be1e2c6d0.gif
- That way it's free. - Yep. It-it's on there.
#533
f2542cf9-dcc7-4903-8813-2c842c2be1b2.gif
- Oh! - Put it... Yeah.
#534
3387b4e7-090e-4c48-b690-0b3c721f3d1d.gif
You want to watch it on the phone?
#535
35619eda-8126-45de-a0f1-6b0fe95a2a10.gif
- Oh, good. - All right.
#536
86e3c8bb-2170-4164-9e78-723d7d77723c.gif
Five tickets for the price of zero.
#537
19639dce-cfca-4eff-ad1e-2f9a58b8efbf.gif
Put on the Auto Motion Plus.
#538
99e351ad-9ca3-4cd0-8b94-d861055b2633.gif
- synced and corrected by sot26 - www.addic7ed.com
#539