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Home » South Park » S03E14 — The Red Badge of Gayness

South Park

Season 3, Episode 14 — The Red Badge of Gayness

TMDB episode metadata
Show: South Park
Episode title: The Red Badge of Gayness
Air date: November 24, 1999
Director: Trey Parker
Top billed cast: Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Isaac Hayes, Mary Kay Bergman, Mona Marshall, Eliza Schneider
South Park's Civil War reenactment, sponsored by "Jagerminz S'More Flavored Schnapps," gets out of hand. Cartman persuades the drunken lot to defeat the northerners so that he can win a bet with Kyle and Stan that will make them his slaves for one month.
Source: TMDB
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♪ I'm going down to South Park, gonna have myself a time ♪
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♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
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♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
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♪ Going down to South Park, gonna leave my woes behind ♪
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♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
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♪ People spouting, "howdy, neighbor" ♪
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♪ Heading on up to South Park, gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
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♪ Mrph rmhmhm rm! Mrph rmhmhm rm! ♪
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♪ Come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine ♪
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Ready? 1, 2, 3, 4.
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Yeah, yeah! Do you like to rock?!
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Yeah, I like to rock!
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Hello, Baltimore!
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Cartman, what the hell are you doing?
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I'm playing the drum.
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Well, you have to hit it softer!
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You can't just hit a drum.
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You have to beat the shit out of it.
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Shut your pie hole, or I'll kick your ass,
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you fucking drum!
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That's how you rock, dude.
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You're not supposed to rock.
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You're just supposed to keep the beat.
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I am keeping the beat. Your flute playing sucks!
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That's it, Cartman. You can't be the drummer.
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Hey, I'll get it!
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Dude, the Civil War reenactment is tomorrow.
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You're not going to get it by tomorrow. - Yes, I will!
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Alright, alright. Let's just try again. 1, 2, 3, 4.
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Yo! Does Cleveland like to rock?!
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Yo! God damn it! Aah!
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What?
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Give me the drum and you play the flute.
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No way! Flutes are totally gay. - Mrph phm rmh?
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Cartman, I'm the leader of the reenactment fife-and-drum squad,
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and I say you play the flute.
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Oh, well, you know what I say?
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Screw you guys. I'm going home.
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You dick! - Later.
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Alrighty, everyone.
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We just have a few things to go over
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before we head out to the reenactment battlefield.
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First of all, I have great news--
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there are over 200 folks from around the state
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that have come to see this year's reenactment,
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and that's the best turnout ever!
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Where the hell is Cartman? If he misses the orientation,
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they're not gonna let him in the reenactment.
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