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South Park

Season 3, Episode 13 โ€” Starvin' Marvin in Space

TMDB episode metadata
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Marklar, this is Marklar.
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Approaching Marklar.
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Proceed with Marklar and make first contact.
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Marklar!
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Greetings, Marklars!
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I am Marklar!
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I come in Marklar!
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Oh, Marklar!
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Arrrrrgghh!
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Hello everyone, I am Sister Hollis!
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I was chosen for my mission work to come here to Africa
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and teach you all about the teachings of Jesus!
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Okay, then, do we have our Bibles that were handed out freely?
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No, no, no!
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We don't eat the Bibles,
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we read them!
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Now, let's turn to Mark 3:19!
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Come on, remember--
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reading Bible plus accepting Jesus
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equals food!
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Good!
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Now who can read Mark 3:19?
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How about, Marvin!
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No, Marvin, in God's language--
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English.
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Where are you going, back to your life of sin?!
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Don't you understand that unless you find Christ,
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you and all your people are doomed to eternal hellfire?
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Aaagghh!
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Waaagghgh!
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...And so, children, that's why Hare Krishnas are totally gay.
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Uhh, can I help you?
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Yes, I'm Conley, and this is Finks.
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We're with the CIA.
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We're here to speak with some of your students.
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You, you, you and you.
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Oh for Pete's sake, what have you bastards done now?
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Ay, that was Kyle that went number two in the urinal!
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No it wasn't, fat ass!
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I saw you do it!
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Boys, we need to talk to you
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about a matter of national security, now!
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I hope you give 'em the chair!
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Anyway, children, as I was saying,
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the Hare Krishnas are totally gay...
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Oh dude, this is not good.
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Relax, fat ass.
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No dude, I've seen this on TV.
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They shine that light in your face
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and then try to get you to tell them stuff
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by squeezing your balls really hard!
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What?!
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Dude, I've seen it!
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They grab your balls with their leather-gloved hands
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and squeeze as hard as they can
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until they pop like little grapes!
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Ow, dude!
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Start with Kenny! Start with Kenny!
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Relax, boys, we just need to talk with you.
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I told you, fat ass.
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Approximately 31 hours ago,
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an ethnic-looking child was spotted flying
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some kind of state-of-the-art aircraft over Chinese airspace.
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Whoa, cool!
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Cool?
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The craft appears to have enough plutonium fuel aboard
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to blow up a large city.
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Do you think that's 'cool'?!
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Totally!
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Alright children, we just need to know one thing:
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do you know... this person?
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Hey, that's Starvin' Marvin!
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Shh! - Who?
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You dumbass, Cartman!
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Now they're gonna go squeeze his balls!
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Oh... we don't know him.
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We already know you know him.
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We have this!
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Now, who is he!?
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Kyle's making mud pies, you guys want one?
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This is getting us nowhere.
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We'll have to resort to more drastic measures.
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But they're just kids, we can't torture them!
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Look, we don't know what that craft is capable of
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but the kid is going to have to land it somewhere.
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God only knows what sadistic, backwards third-world country
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could get their hands on that ship!
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โ™ช Soaring so high above the world โ™ช
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โ™ช Never thought I could be so free โ™ช
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โ™ช I'm one with the birds and magic is all I see-- โ™ชโ™ช
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Oi, look up there!
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It's a UFO!
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Oi, that's one creeeepy alien.
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Talk to him, mayor!
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Great and noble alien creature,
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as mayor of the fine planet of Australia
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I welcome you to our fine... planet of Australia.
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Chippy, chip!
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Choorah!
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Look out, he's got a gun!
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Aaaghgh!
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Wait, it's not a gun!
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It's a piece a pay-pa!
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Oh.
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Oh, I think he's trying to tell us that
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he wants to relocate all his species here to Australia!
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Well, you certainly are welcome here, alien.
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In fact, there's a mission right over there
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that will take all of your people in!
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Hello!
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Guess the little pecker doesn't like missionaries.
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Now, I'll ask you again...
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Who is the little boy that took our ship?
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We... we don't know...
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Aaaagaghgh!
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Aaaagghgh!
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Who is this person?!
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K-kill me...
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Do it again!
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Aaaghghgh!
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No, wait... I'll-I'll tell you.
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He's... he's a little starving Ethiopian kid...
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We adopted him.
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Cartman!
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Adopted from who?!
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Sally... Sally Struthers...
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The lady on TV...
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She knows everything... Sally Struthers.
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Sally Struthers! Where can we find her?
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I know exactly where Sally Struthers is!
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Let them go.
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Good job, fat ass!
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Dude, I couldn't take that balloon.
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Another couple hours of that
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and I would have been totally pissed off.
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Whatever, let's go see what's on TV.
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Gentlemen, Ms. Struthers can see you now.
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Now I'm warning you, Bill, Sally Struthers is a bit heavy.
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But don't say anything because she's pretty sensitive.
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Oh I would never say anything.
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I saw some show where they made fun of Sally Struthers' weight
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and I thought it was totally cruel.
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I mean, she helps people, you know?
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Ah, Mrs. Struthers...
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Ho, ho, ho, ho...
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Ms. Struthers, we understand you have helped raise
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millions of dollars to help starving children in Ethiopia.
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We need information on one of the Ethiopians.
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You must tell us everything you know about him.
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Doh ba-kin?
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His name is Starving Marvin.
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Why yes, it is a "Chocolate Yum Yum Bar", Ms. Struthers...
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And there are several more where that came from.
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Of course, if you don't want to tell us about the Ethiopian boy...
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Mo naka!
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I'm glad we can do business...
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Come on dude, there's gotta be something about
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Starvin' Marvin in the news.
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Well, I can't find anything. Wait what's this?
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God wants you to send us money.
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He needs you to send us money so we can help others...
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Oh, my God, this guy again.
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Why would anybody send this asshole money?
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Mpphmprph mrph mrph.
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Holy shit!
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Whoa!
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Aw! Awww!
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Oh, weak!
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Starvin' Marvin!
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He did take a ship!
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Well nice job, Marvin. I hope you got
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about a thousand dollars to pay for my house!
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Dude, you're gonna get busted for taking this thing.
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I think he wants us to get in!
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Kick ass!
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Wow, this thing is awesome!
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Let's go somewhere!
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โ™ช Soaring so high above the world โ™ช
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โ™ช Never thought I could be so free โ™ช
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โ™ช I'm one with the birds and magic is all I see โ™ช
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This is great!
โ†“
6a840f6c-7992-4f77-88e7-8d93be2d12a0.gif
Yeah, but where is that crappy song coming from?
โ†“
025e71c6-0e90-4422-b1c6-563c8324dab1.gif
Can we turn that off?
โ†“
5963757c-c039-4e59-9e61-7bd2f74bc2f7.gif
Yeah, that's better.
โ†“
ab732a3e-35e8-489a-a5c3-52cba4337a4c.gif
Hello, how are we doing today?
โ†“
d136a9e5-7ee9-4fd3-a29a-7b7261b67c4b.gif
Look what I got for you--
โ†“
d1aa9125-16f7-44e8-839b-4c50b316fb06.gif
No, it's not food, it's a cross!
โ†“
e7479012-fbd0-4ca9-9db8-3d209f36d1c5.gif
And it has your new Christian name printed on it.
โ†“
504aa045-31e8-4684-a7eb-6cf515d06ecc.gif
From now on, you are "Michael."
โ†“
99684ce0-ac78-43e0-a903-47a51aaed043.gif
Can you say "Michael"?
โ†“
9118d48e-bb30-4909-961c-38c47480d79d.gif
Click?
โ†“
42f13c95-1309-4a75-b1c1-4c471b6255f4.gif
Miiii-chael.
โ†“
ce36ce4e-471a-4639-bf0b-0d6587500159.gif
Click.
โ†“
3ebe3da9-d19a-46fa-8c87-b86dabffbd32.gif
Oh, well, you'll get it.
โ†“
96a05385-3d70-4afc-b2aa-d8aa916fa939.gif
Hello, brother David, do you have any sins to confess?
โ†“
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Anybody? Sins to confess?
โ†“
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Joshua?
โ†“
ec2e8216-a1d8-40b7-811c-7aace5509905.gif
You know, today I am reminded of psalm 46, line 39.
โ†“
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"though the mountains shake and--"
โ†“
e50bf9e0-adbc-4dee-899f-49a4d777d29d.gif
Here they are! - Who are you?
โ†“
a1c8d72a-4fc1-4c36-b506-e6e548039a98.gif
We're with the American government!
โ†“
6298ddca-10f6-42a7-a693-fedd34738628.gif
Sally Struthers told us where we'd find Marvin's parents!
โ†“
7a43ceda-d1df-4336-90d9-5568fda8cb2a.gif
Hello there, Mr. and Mrs. Click Click Derk!
โ†“
d777f0cb-9b01-4ded-9f0e-17ce9502d99a.gif
I think you know why we're here!
โ†“
a9f493a9-aaff-451f-9234-aefe10b56454.gif
No dude, you don't want to bring your people to Mexico.
โ†“
e1b9ba8c-b9ad-420b-928b-20f01de1fe6f.gif
There's missionaries there, too.
โ†“
a3e8b5cb-aff7-4ef8-99f0-c0060a77dd14.gif
No way, not Utah!
โ†“
e01f5810-884e-4cc4-9864-23fe8c1d44d3.gif
Utah's nothing but missionaries!
โ†“
ff83c04d-e75c-4f2c-bda6-3dca7fc99781.gif
Dude, it looks like he's tried everywhere in the world.
โ†“
cee2581b-1b1f-4352-a1a4-3a666ded6e1c.gif
Well he hasn't been... here yet.
โ†“
cf657abb-24cf-4e1c-84d3-703b0d378627.gif
Where's this?
โ†“
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Wwwaaaaaghghgh!
โ†“
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What the hell did you hit, Cartman?!
โ†“
f98552a6-fb41-452d-b088-74439224493b.gif
Oh, my God, what the hell is that thing?!
โ†“
ca8f10b5-fe76-48dd-b9ae-23109bff9939.gif
Aaaaggghhhh!
โ†“
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Aaaaggghhhh!
โ†“
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Where are we?
โ†“
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We're on, like, some foreign planet.
โ†“
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This place is rad!
โ†“
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Look at all the trees and stuff!
โ†“
53805ca3-6dbd-426a-a40e-22cb1c304978.gif
Greetings, welcome, to Marklar.
โ†“
cc042d1d-a7e9-44a1-8040-a0ffefa01773.gif
Uh, thanks.
โ†“
d37b6c96-f6e7-4643-92ff-fd2b33af086b.gif
I am Marklar, leader of the Marklar.
โ†“
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Uh, cool. My name is Stan,
โ†“
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and, uh, I'm the leader of Earth.
โ†“
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Marklar to you.
โ†“
4c2e28c0-a505-4afd-93f9-e1b0a8833d43.gif
Cool! - Ay, I'm the leader of earth!
โ†“
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Screw you, Cartman, I called leader first.
โ†“
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Well, you can call leader till your ass bleeds,
โ†“
9e80ef18-4cea-40b3-9519-61ca3c375d1a.gif
but it doesn't make it true!
โ†“
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We are very thankful to you for bringing our Marklar back to us.
โ†“
e600727e-5f9d-46af-9c9a-19865cedf288.gif
Wait, I thought you called your planet Marklar.
โ†“
fd1b2445-b2f1-4caa-b1e6-7c2aecf645f8.gif
Oh, here on Marklar, we refer to all people, places and things as Marklar.
โ†“
30949ebd-571a-4a4b-8fde-ff1a84f15597.gif
Well, our friend Marvin and all his people
โ†“
9ef6ec42-55e3-4d44-98a8-1718c7ad92ba.gif
have to live on a part of Earth that sucks ass.
โ†“
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They can't grow food or nothing.
โ†“
d4192405-763a-46ab-829b-12ad37fab8a0.gif
Yeah, so it would be really cool if you would let
โ†“
0487ecdf-fa9e-4926-9a42-3eb057509935.gif
Marvin and all his people come live here.
โ†“
dc375ced-b7c5-4029-bcbc-1ea2eacba10c.gif
Well, there is a lot of room on Marklar.
โ†“
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If Marklar here wants to bring his Marklar to Marklar,
โ†“
94c4ca33-212a-4372-a3c8-c85aa4c6a601.gif
that would be fine.
โ†“
59438975-bb08-4c5c-ab8c-bee9725144d6.gif
Just take our Marklar back to Marklar
โ†“
ccaa605d-35fb-444c-acde-268d56b00b75.gif
and bring all the Marklar back with you.
โ†“
7ef23bb4-1fee-4a0f-b134-c60073350bfb.gif
Uh... Thanks.
โ†“
54ee75e7-592f-43e8-b53f-bcf68b2a8a65.gif
Let's go through this one more time Mr. and Mrs. Click Click Derk!
โ†“
c5874297-458a-4a6a-9303-64a825b3a03a.gif
Your son Marvin has a ship that we want.
โ†“
0d998e42-67ef-476f-bf68-5348d66ae2e6.gif
How can we get it from him?
โ†“
9f945307-5126-4a5c-a413-9b66c2c3572d.gif
We are the CIA!
โ†“
7a6bb206-ecef-4a7d-b06c-1093f7d4e032.gif
That ship needs to be with us!
โ†“
8e36d173-8396-486e-8feb-8988fa727f3e.gif
Maybe we should just take something precious of yours!
โ†“
597612a5-1e6e-4c1d-b354-7c11a2b7a805.gif
Huh?!
โ†“
c10f4903-904f-45ab-bce6-acc513703ca7.gif
A-ha! This!
โ†“
e2423786-fcff-4e98-b5b9-f87f79dfb4d9.gif
This... gourd-thingy, for instance!
โ†“
db4270be-a7a9-48f4-91f9-661488ce5cc2.gif
How do you like that, huh?!
โ†“
4e0fd6be-cef3-423c-b37a-2074d7477e2b.gif
If you ever want to see this... little thingy again,
โ†“
9366d764-666a-482c-b8d2-7b9ce8d9bbdc.gif
I suggest you contact your boy!
โ†“
7ade21f4-8edb-45bc-9b97-7d59a57d719a.gif
There it is!
โ†“
5e5062b1-b4c8-4535-8fc4-13024f2e8909.gif
Back away from the spacecraft, children!
โ†“
fe753621-a3d0-4793-a3dd-18c065051390.gif
No, no! It's okay!
โ†“
15fa0f76-d063-4c5f-a225-3d09348127de.gif
The ship took us to another planet!
โ†“
5e126674-fb2d-4fa4-adb3-5735dce69ffd.gif
A beautiful, lush place called Marklar!
โ†“
80672433-ced6-4ffa-b40c-7c150e29ad43.gif
Yeah, and the leader, he said that all the Ethiopians
โ†“
6d0e7990-d0e0-4e5c-9f4e-0085dec389dc.gif
can go live there!
โ†“
b3538f41-b20b-43d4-a040-3bee64b96d94.gif
An alien race?
โ†“
d815e3be-721b-47be-a0b6-0c21e05fe434.gif
Have they heard the word of Christ?
โ†“
8d6235f4-9e94-422a-bc2e-62c558bb7fde.gif
No, never! It's perfect!
โ†“
8401a135-c293-43b2-9ada-8d3e5ff593d4.gif
Oh, no, those poor souls!
โ†“
ef3f9834-dcae-4969-a707-0c572fb01bc5.gif
We must spread the gospel to them!
โ†“
f5d87af8-b9ef-463c-b163-4983ab9d3079.gif
What?
โ†“
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Come on, Marvin, we got to get your people to Marklar
โ†“
a96352bf-89f5-4158-b046-31403daa86cb.gif
before the missionaries do!
โ†“
44676f7a-9da4-4343-aa2e-e80e66a0d401.gif
You'll do nothing of the kind!
โ†“
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This ship is now property of the United States government!
โ†“
e00c947c-cd3a-4ab8-a5aa-2e309427a91a.gif
No!
โ†“
301c2b7a-83e0-416f-925b-2f93dc69957b.gif
Call those boys' mothers.
โ†“
35dc8b49-95e4-4e39-8d2f-cfeaf46e1825.gif
I'm sure they'll be very interested in the trouble
โ†“
e68e9d65-621f-48d9-8878-863dfc16b923.gif
their boys have been up to!
โ†“
acdd78f2-b08d-43da-8d7a-357d44f9723f.gif
Oh, no, dude!
โ†“
25b44a84-c943-4498-bafd-2f57f9ee3640.gif
You know Susan, there's so many great missionaries doing work
โ†“
69b2be11-29a8-4e2e-977d-2e47c3807fc9.gif
out there in parts of Africa.
โ†“
58ceb038-d679-4099-afdc-c2f1544eb77d.gif
We're trying to get bibles to people all over the world
โ†“
f4c46cd3-3c80-498c-b8bd-95cb6f74b9a3.gif
and what we need is the help of everyone out there
โ†“
0aa2bc88-770e-4fb9-a67b-72a7785f5027.gif
so we can continue these projects.
โ†“
602ed1dd-046a-4439-9a7e-19526c974eb4.gif
Now, listen to this, Susan.
โ†“
7a1e8181-a4d2-4c50-9758-736161a22093.gif
One of our missionaries in North Africa
โ†“
2c7f0129-cdd9-4a00-9e58-4fe3b68e7849.gif
has made an amazing discovery--
โ†“
12c04f59-8ed9-4966-8c8d-0bbca440373b.gif
a new planet in the galaxy Alpha Seti 6
โ†“
a8c0bc18-d094-4c65-a5d1-ffbaf700798b.gif
that has intelligent life on it.
โ†“
86c2b0aa-ed05-49eb-8b47-0992fc36e4e8.gif
Amazing!
โ†“
fd2492d1-7eb7-4371-b0e8-037f9b0e3a8f.gif
Now, we're not sure what these hyper-intelligent beings look like,
โ†“
5c40cfd3-a08a-4217-84ff-923d33625bdd.gif
but one thing is for sure,
โ†“
a2f47ad4-47fc-4585-bb20-61d0a94ca0f5.gif
they have never heard of Jesus Christ.
โ†“
8af11ead-16eb-4710-8ef6-713c1dd0e2dc.gif
What can we do at the 600 Club to help those poor aliens?
โ†“
0ce39ac6-bdf3-4dac-bf14-900177b03db1.gif
What we need, Susan, is we need money to build an interstellar cruiser.
โ†“
1c486d08-922c-438d-8ca6-12907b763343.gif
Now, this spaceship will be able to travel through a wormhole
โ†“
5653a41a-96d5-495f-a53f-0823c2a34df8.gif
and deliver the message and glory of Jesus Christ
โ†“
250801dc-e614-4a7e-bd01-0667a052cee0.gif
to those godless aliens!
โ†“
193ed902-d6ef-4e90-8aae-84dd1c246082.gif
Send your money now. Amen!
โ†“
dd22fe02-8ab0-44a8-bc50-3a40ae6cbb27.gif
I want everyone to keep a safe distance from the craft
โ†“
5a356c1a-d2d2-4fa5-9320-481a65c78257.gif
until we can run some tests!
โ†“
b04ce4e3-3dec-4e7a-b366-753f4a93a91d.gif
Excuse me, gentlemen, uh, Tom Brokaw is here to see you.
โ†“
ed5b3e80-c603-4ce8-9f27-498d3999a2aa.gif
Tom Brokaw? Oh no, the press already?
โ†“
3cd3f459-edf2-427f-83d7-fbaf4bec709b.gif
Ah, good day, gentlemen.
โ†“
0666066b-5375-4b8c-a1ea-2140a35cf6a2.gif
Uh-huh... Mr. Brokaw, I presume?
โ†“
32859a29-2440-475e-b485-6218555a6fba.gif
You presume wisely, sir.
โ†“
96c7b347-6b93-45ca-bb23-f717545fa09f.gif
I'm here to get the big story, the big scoop.
โ†“
06123eee-f9cc-44e1-b64c-c3eff9fce493.gif
I understand that you found some kind of ship from an alien race.
โ†“
8fa8430c-ea0e-4406-a2f2-7a9de92056e7.gif
Seeing as though I am Pulitzer prize-winning Tom Brokaw--
โ†“
13324f75-7963-415b-bdac-579b081adaa7.gif
Look, kid, did you really think this was going to fool anybody?
โ†“
7dae8ab8-798c-454f-ad3d-24a951a386d2.gif
You don't look anything like Tom Brokaw!
โ†“
94958cd2-3ae5-492b-a58e-5b2339e98a04.gif
What? Dare you question my integri'tah?
โ†“
437dfa71-790d-4d1f-9390-ad3c2b8c934b.gif
I told you Tom Brokaw doesn't have a mustache, fat ass!
โ†“
177fcc9d-3da3-4964-9164-52c6ce6d9518.gif
Wha--?
โ†“
609368bb-5f01-4870-94b1-bd10e9f215fa.gif
Oh, I had some bad burritos today.
โ†“
0c7c8f33-036a-4273-a7d8-04baeeb5399d.gif
Alright, boys, time to get back to your quarters!
โ†“
27ec23da-b839-4353-9590-cac90b57a859.gif
Oh.
โ†“
d9718f88-6e83-49bf-82cb-e458f8874001.gif
Son of a bitch!
โ†“
4cf03d40-ef90-4e2e-8d05-282f38a777ac.gif
Run for it! Get em!
โ†“
381e818a-141d-4fe4-8582-323bb46ab0af.gif
Kenny! - Forget him! He's done for!
โ†“
f844458d-4359-43de-8f17-563d25bd7c30.gif
He's not done for! He's standing right there!
โ†“
8e6eafc5-9f1c-4392-adc3-6ae4dfc8a05a.gif
No, no! He's done for! C'mon!
โ†“
59989126-2448-444e-baa1-effef7105ec5.gif
Nooo!
โ†“
9dc9e2d5-f23b-4a95-9e15-b07802e7fc4d.gif
Dammit, dammit, dammit!
โ†“
cd8429a4-6c03-4f5a-a105-5f4e9cf9773c.gif
Alright, we made it! - Okay, Marvin,
โ†“
c7659b0b-cc75-488b-8674-8979aea12202.gif
Time to take your people to their new home!
โ†“
8eb6bf75-4ccd-40c6-aa18-252664dea888.gif
What was that?!
โ†“
a72e9198-4a88-40ba-8166-7c5144404ec8.gif
This is the Missionary 600.
โ†“
f8033077-f0eb-4521-b465-3662ab28b922.gif
We have you locked on, fire ready.
โ†“
d2626c4c-4efe-497e-95f7-631e87a92a52.gif
Turn back right now!
โ†“
e442a110-5f6b-4b78-a2b4-af8a4abe796f.gif
Aagh! Waaghh!
โ†“
dd4e0e11-2b32-4e40-b15b-17d7c9ea9fbd.gif
They're shooting at us! - Quick, Marvin, get us to Marklar!
โ†“
b79034c6-6da6-4319-9a61-7ae93bff2253.gif
Well, how'd we do it last time?!
โ†“
5a9b86e0-fc4e-4260-8008-c24f4e287f66.gif
Cartman just hit the button and the ship flew itself.
โ†“
fc436ea9-f545-4f33-8424-9455e62c9c40.gif
Which button did you press, Cartman!?
โ†“
37175f39-0e97-4b07-a12c-b04e575d6173.gif
I don't remember.
โ†“
fee9cff0-5869-44d4-9a9c-0c467aa3b65e.gif
You don't remember?!
โ†“
db8ccc4b-22c8-4ac1-8cd5-39004843b0d3.gif
You dumbass, Cartman! - Ay! I was under duress!
โ†“
cce1d165-22f7-4fc5-9cd8-2588e13e678a.gif
Maybe it was this one...
โ†“
55a39751-d59f-4712-a29d-80f34d0af29c.gif
โ™ช Soaring so high above the world-โ™ช
โ†“
ec2a0f79-5eac-4f75-882c-f074064bf5b6.gif
Arrrrhh!
โ†“
aad81db4-38c1-4b17-a967-78e9ef953dc9.gif
Their ship seems to be made out of a super-strong alloy.
โ†“
e1a7c25f-97fa-4b30-9089-9f02079a085f.gif
These lasers aren't powerful enough!
โ†“
449e0c20-016b-485a-bbb7-6ec90b0f1d69.gif
Everyone, the word of the God is going around the world,
โ†“
c42287e5-d065-48bd-a12d-4eeb66b5b9ce.gif
and all your help is so greatly appreciated.
โ†“
077924bd-993c-4377-8a6f-6f927baf0a8d.gif
What we need now is an argon-crystal laser.
โ†“
5a62bd06-024d-4bc5-a9e0-302de33a2e70.gif
You see, an argon-crystal laser can pierce thick space hulls
โ†“
f37436a8-a7f6-4bb4-a265-ddc93558158d.gif
in a way that other lasers just can't.
โ†“
ec3ee9b3-2c38-48cc-8552-c17acc9eec8b.gif
Send your money now. Uh, thank you.
โ†“
1ecad000-7e8c-4b63-8072-9ac0712546b6.gif
Konba do naka bi?
โ†“
a5a8d4e8-f94c-40a0-b3a7-a66c0e7667cb.gif
Ms. Struthers, we understand that you have a ship of your own,
โ†“
c58b23b0-c8f8-4642-8737-03f85cadb0f5.gif
one capable of interstellar travel.
โ†“
dbfc3882-06ab-49ac-ba76-a55af477ce17.gif
We need to use your ship to catch those boys.
โ†“
71170287-58cb-4ad2-8f4f-43ea36746999.gif
We will do anything for that technology.
โ†“
c70623fa-8391-473f-b5e6-f546e21b6058.gif
Ms. Struthers, if those Ethiopians make it to another planet,
โ†“
42b43345-7cfa-419c-9140-d5bb30242eb1.gif
who will send money to your foundation?
โ†“
9df102a5-6ca7-4e1f-96ca-64e9fffc44a3.gif
Without Ethiopians... you have no food.
โ†“
a41748bb-d2ff-4a8c-87dd-3335ee01f91f.gif
Wo! So chaka kuram!
โ†“
a36e4ac6-5ea5-43ce-9058-271267f99506.gif
Oh, that won't be a problem, Ms. Struthers...
โ†“
a985e780-d8e9-4a2d-8153-de8c1c1de0af.gif
We have collateral.
โ†“
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Mph rmph!
โ†“
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Ho ho ho ho!
โ†“
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Hee hee hee hee!
โ†“
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I have the infidels in my sights!
โ†“
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Holy shit!
โ†“
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Holy crap! They have photon torpedoes!
โ†“
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Now our deflector shields are useless
โ†“
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against photon torpedoes,
โ†“
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and we really need your support on this one folks.
โ†“
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Here at the 600 Club, we need your money
โ†“
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to spread the word of Jesus
โ†“
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and build more advanced deflector shields for our galactic cruiser.
โ†“
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Call now, and we'll give you this free pin!
โ†“
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You got 'em, Marvin!
โ†“
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Yeah, now finish 'em off!
โ†“
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Warning: Deflector shields failing.
โ†“
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Where did that come from?!
โ†“
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Wo ho ho ho!
โ†“
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Good! Now get them in our tractor beam!
โ†“
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Now, we've got 'em!
โ†“
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Ho, ho, ho, ho... - It's Sally Struthers!
โ†“
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Well, it appears they'll be going back to Ethiopia,
โ†“
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so we can go on to the aliens!
โ†“
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Sorry, Marvin... we tried...
โ†“
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Wait! Ms. Struthers, Ms. Struthers?!
โ†“
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Whoa? =Ms. Struthers, please,
โ†“
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just listen to me for one second.
โ†“
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You started the Feed the Children Foundation for wonderful reasons.
โ†“
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To help starving, helpless people who lived in a rotten part of the world.
โ†“
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Well, it's for those reasons we want to help our friend Marvin now.
โ†“
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Ms. Struthers, don't forget the gift we gave you--
โ†“
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the child in carbonite.
โ†“
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Ms. Struthers, you help so many people.
โ†“
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And you taught us that helping people is what life is all about.
โ†“
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All we want to do... is be like you.
โ†“
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What the--
โ†“
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She bought it!
โ†“
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Sally Struthers is saving us!
โ†“
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Now stay with me on this one, folks...
โ†“
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Sally Struthers has a Tiberian Junker,
โ†“
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which is the favored ship of the Hutts,
โ†“
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and she has trapped our new CBC Ship in a...
โ†“
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Positronic Tractor Beam.
โ†“
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So we're gonna need an Ionic Tractor Disrupter.
โ†“
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Now, not a regular Ionic Tractor Disrupter
โ†“
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but a Negative Ionic Tractor Disrupter
โ†“
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to, uh, help spread the word of Jesus.
โ†“
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I look like a fucking idiot up here.
โ†“
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Now's our chance!
โ†“
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Wait--I remember! It was the red button!
โ†“
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They've opened the wormhole!
โ†“
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It's pulling us in!
โ†“
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Arrrrrrghh!
โ†“
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Arrrrhhhhh!!
โ†“
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Please, please, please, we are confused!
โ†“
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You must explain one-at-a-Marklar!
โ†“
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Alien friend, we are here to spread the word of Jesus.
โ†“
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He died for your sins.
โ†“
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Who, Marklar?
โ†“
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We brought Marvin and his people to live here
โ†“
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but these buttholes followed us!
โ†“
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Brought...Marklar?
โ†“
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What is Marklar?
โ†“
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Here on Marklar, everyone and everything
โ†“
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is referred to as "Marklar".
โ†“
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Doesn't that get confusing?
โ†“
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Oh no, watch this--
โ†“
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Hey, Marklar!
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Yes?
โ†“
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You see?
โ†“
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Wait!
โ†“
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Wait, I think I can explain this whole thing...
โ†“
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Marklar...
โ†“
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These Marklars want to change your Marklar.
โ†“
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They don't want this Marklar or any of his Marklars to live here
โ†“
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because it's bad for their Marklar.
โ†“
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They use Marklar to try and force Marklars
โ†“
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to believe their Marklar.
โ†“
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If you let them stay here, they will build Marklars and Marklars.
โ†“
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They will take all your Marklars and replace them with Marklar.
โ†“
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These Marklars have no good Marklar to live on Marklar
โ†“
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so they must come here to Marklar.
โ†“
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Please, let these Marklars stay where they can grow and prosper
โ†“
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without any Marklars, Marklars or Marklars.
โ†“
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Young Marklar, your Marklars are wise and true.
โ†“
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What the hell did he say?
โ†“
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Wow, good job, dude!
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Thanks.
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The Marklars can stay!
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Alright!
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You Marklars must leave.
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But you will all burn forever in eternal hellfire!
โ†“
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Yes, that's nice.
โ†“
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Thank you for stopping by.
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Well, Marvin, it was sure cool seeing you again.
โ†“
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No, we gotta go, Sally Struthers
โ†“
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is gonna give us a ride back to Earth.
โ†“
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Bo chaka bi!
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Goodbye, Marvin!
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Maybe we'll come visit sometime!
โ†“
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Yeah, and maybe Jesse Jackson'll be president!
โ†“
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Dude! - What?
โ†“
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We're not gonna come visit him.
โ†“
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I know, but you don't tell him that!
โ†“
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Whatever.
โ†“
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โ™ช I am Chewbacca โ™ช
โ†“
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โ™ช I am a Wookie โ™ช
โ†“
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โ™ช I fight the Empire โ™ช
โ†“
ea4bba28-1851-4b67-a62e-8f2694edb20f.gif
โ™ช I fix the robots โ™ช
โ†“
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โ™ช Don't you fuckin' cross me โ™ช
โ†“
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โ™ช I am Chewbacca โ™ช
โ†“
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โ™ช In need of no one โ™ช
โ†“
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โ™ช In want of nothing โ™ช
โ†“
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โ™ช I am Chewbacca โ™ช
โ†“
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โ™ช I have no home โ™ช
โ†“
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โ™ช My home is where โ™ช
โ†“
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โ™ช My spirit goes โ™ชโ™ช