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South Park

Season 3, Episode 12 — Hooked on Monkey Fonics

TMDB episode metadata
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Because I'm home-schooled. - What's that?
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My parents teach me,
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so I stay at home instead of going to school.
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You what?
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Stay at home-- all day--no school?!
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Right.
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♪ Who would have thought such a miracle could be ♪
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♪ Who could have known that this moment I would see ♪
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♪ A new way of living, a chance to be free--♪♪
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Shut up, Cartman.
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You shut up, butthole.
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You shut up, gay wad.
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You shut up, ass logger.
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Oh my goodness, are you two enemies?
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No, we're friends.
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Strange, friends would call each other names and fight.
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What?
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Come, children, let's take our trophies home
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and place them high upon the mantle!
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Dude, what a bunch of freakin' nerdos.
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Papa?
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Yes, Mark?
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Why can't I go to school with the other boys?
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Oh...
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Well, because son, public schools are inefficient and dangerous.
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But I want to play with the other children.
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Oh, how they laugh and play, Papa.
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Mark, you have play time.
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You get to play in the afternoons.
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I just feel like I should go to public school,
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if only for a little while.
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To see what other little boys are like.
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Mark, public schools are no good.
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Your mother and I were both home-schooled
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and we turned out much better because of it.
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Please, Papa, just let me try it for a few days.
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Alright, fine, Mark!
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You go ahead and go to public school.
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You can just find out for yourself
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how flawed and treacherous it is!
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Hooray!
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You don't want to go to public school, too, do you Rebecca?
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Oh, heavens no.
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Well, thank God for that.
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At least my daughter will remain safe!
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Oh, hi... is, uh... is Rebecca home?
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Yes, she is.
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Uh... can I talk to her?