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Home » South Park » S03E11 — Chinpokomon

South Park

Season 3, Episode 11 — Chinpokomon

TMDB episode metadata

Show: South Park

Episode title: Chinpokomon

Air date: November 03, 1999

Director: Trey Parker

Top billed cast: Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Isaac Hayes, Mary Kay Bergman, Milan Agnone, Jennifer Howell

The kids of South Park discover Chinpokomon, Japan's #1 cool toy to own! Wanting to avoid being losers, they persuade their parents to buy them the toys only to discover that the Chinpokomon are designed to brainwash them into bombing Pearl Harbor. The parents band together to stop Japan and save America!

Source: TMDB

↓

♪ I'm going down to South Park ♪

park south south-park

↓

♪ Gonna have myself a time ♪

↓

♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪

faces friendly friendly-faces

↓

♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪

folks humble humble-folks temptation

↓

♪ I'm going down to South Park ♪

park south south-park

↓

♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪

behind woes woes-behind

↓

♪ Ample parking day or night ♪

ample ample-parking night parking

↓

♪ People spouting "howdy neighbor" ♪

howdy howdy-neighbor neighbor spouting spouting-howdy spouting-howdy-neighbor

↓

♪ Headin' on up to South Park ♪

headin park south south-park

↓

♪ Gonna see if I can't unwind ♪

unwind

↓

♪ Come on down to South Park ♪

park south south-park

↓

♪ And meet some friends of mine ♪

friends meet

↓

No, kitty!

kitty

↓

These are my spicy hot Louisiana- baked chicken tenders!

baked chicken spicy

↓

No, kitty!

kitty

↓

Someday I will collect all the Chinpokomon!

chinpokomon collect someday

↓

Then, I will fight the evil power that will reveal itself

evil evil-power fight power reveal

↓

once all the Chinpokomon are collected! Oh!

chinpokomon collected

↓

No, kitty!

kitty

↓

You can't have these chicken tenders,

chicken

↓

because they are mine, and I keep mine to myself! Oh!

↓

Be sure to tune in tomorrow for another inexplicable episode

another episode tomorrow tune

↓

of Chinpokomon!

chinpokomon

↓

Hurray! - Hey, kids!

hurray kids

↓

Do you love Chinpokomon? - Yes!

chinpokomon love

↓

Well, now you can buy your very own!

↓

♪ I've got to buy Chinpokomon ♪

chinpokomon

↓

♪ I've got to buy it, I've got to buy it ♪

↓

Now, you can collect them all!

collect

↓

Furrycat! Donkeytron!

↓

Pengin! Shoe! Lambtron!

pengin shoe

↓

Collect them all, and you can become

become collect

↓

Royal Crown Chinpokomaster!

chinpokomaster crown crown-chinpokomaster royal royal-crown royal-crown-chinpokomaster

↓

Royal Crown Chinpokomaster? Holy shit!

chinpokomaster crown crown-chinpokomaster holy royal royal-crown royal-crown-chinpokomaster

↓

All the Chinpokomon are in stores now!

chinpokomon stores

↓

Chinpokomon is super universe toy number one!

chinpokomon number super universe

↓

♪ I've got to buy it, Chinpokomon ♪

chinpokomon

↓

Mom! Mom!

↓

Mom! Seriously!

↓

This thing at the toy store, Mom!

store

↓

Hnya! Must go! Toy store! - Eric! Calm down!

calm eric must store

↓

But seriously! Mom! Must go! Must buy!

must

↓

What is it, Eric?

eric

↓

Mom, I've only just heard!

heard

↓

They're making Chinpokomon dolls, Mom!

chinpokomon dolls

↓

You can collect them all! You can collect them all!

collect

↓

Mother, quick! We must get to the toy store!

mother must quick store

↓

I'm making us some lunch right now, Eric!

eric lunch

↓

But, Mom, I have to get a Chinpokomon doll

chinpokomon doll

↓

before everybody else does, 'cause then I'll be cool.

cool everybody

↓

Can't it wait till tomorrow, hon?

till till-tomorrow tomorrow

↓

But, Mom, I have to get the first one

↓

or else people won't think I'm cool!

cool

↓

All right. Let's go. - Sweet!

sweet

↓

Everybody's gonna be so jealous when they see my Chinpokomon!

chinpokomon everybodys jealous

↓

Oh! God damn it!

↓

Hey, fat ass! - Hey, dickhole!

↓

I guess you saw the commercial, too!

commercial

↓

Yep! I've got Roostor, Lambtron, and Shoe!

roostor shoe

↓

Well, that's nice! But, I'm gonna get a Pengin!

pengin

↓

He's the coolest!

coolest

↓

God damn it! There's no more Pengins!

↓

Kenny! Pengin is my favorite! That's the last one!

favorite kenny pengin

↓

Let me have it! - Mm-mm.

↓

Mnya, Kenny! Let me have it!

kenny

↓

Mnya! Mnya! Gimme Pengin! Mnya!

pengin

↓

Honestly, I don't see what they find

↓

so amusing about those things.

amusing

↓

They're so strange. - Where are they from?

strange

↓

Well, it's some new big thing from Japan.

japan

↓

I tell ya, those Japanese really know how to market to kids.

japanese kids market

↓

I've got to collect all Chinpokomon!

chinpokomon collect

↓

I've got to collect them all so I can become

become collect

↓

Royal Crown Chinpokomaster, oh!

chinpokomaster crown crown-chinpokomaster royal royal-crown royal-crown-chinpokomaster

↓

Order Chinpokomon, and you will have happy feelings!

chinpokomon feelings happy order

↓

I have to become Royal Crown Chinpokomaster!

become chinpokomaster crown crown-chinpokomaster royal royal-crown royal-crown-chinpokomaster

↓

Must collect Chinpokomon!

chinpokomon collect must

↓

Okay, Kenny! I'll trade you my Chuchunesbi for your Pengin!

kenny pengin trade

↓

Fuck you. - God damn it!

fuck

↓

You're supposed to trade! Little asshole! Gimme Pengin!

asshole pengin supposed trade

↓

Hey, dudes. What're those? - What're these?

dudes whatre

↓

They're Chinpokomon. - Huh?

chinpokomon

↓

You don't appear to have any Chinpokomon.

appear chinpokomon

↓

No, but look.

↓

I just got this sweet Cyborg Bill doll.

bill cyborg cyborg-bill doll sweet

↓

Oh, please. Cyborg Bill is so yesterday.

bill cyborg cyborg-bill yesterday

↓

Yeah, like ancient history.

ancient ancient-history history

↓

Cyborg Bill isn't cool anymore?

anymore bill cool cyborg cyborg-bill

↓

No, dude.

↓

Cyborg Bill hasn't been cool for a long time, Kyle.

bill cool cyborg cyborg-bill kyle

↓

Why the hell don't people tell me these things?

↓

It's all Chinpokomon, now.

chinpokomon

↓

Dude, if you collect Chinpokomon,

chinpokomon collect

↓

you can complete the primary main objective.

complete main main-objective objective primary primary-main primary-main-objective

↓

What's the primary main objective?

main main-objective objective primary primary-main primary-main-objective

↓

You don't even know what the primary main objective is?

main main-objective objective primary primary-main primary-main-objective

↓

The primary main objective is to destroy the evil power.

destroy evil evil-power main main-objective objective power primary primary-main primary-main-objective

↓

Well, what's the evil power? - Oh, my God.

evil evil-power power

↓

The identity of the evil power won't be revealed until

evil evil-power identity power revealed

↓

all Chinpokomon are collected by a Royal Crown Chinpokomaster.

chinpokomaster chinpokomon collected crown crown-chinpokomaster royal royal-crown royal-crown-chinpokomaster

↓

What? - Duh!

↓

God, get with the times, dude. - Duh!

times

↓

Shit.

↓

Yeah, I guess so. - Mom. Dad.

↓

Can I have money to buy Chinpokomon?

chinpokomon money

↓

What's a Chinpokomon? - I'm not sure.

chinpokomon

↓

Well, why do you need one? - I don't know.

↓

Well then, the answer is no, Kyle.

answer kyle

↓

You just got money to buy your Cyborg Bill doll.

bill cyborg cyborg-bill doll money

↓

Yeah, but Cyborg Bill is totally gay now.

bill cyborg cyborg-bill

↓

Please, Mom. Everybody else has Chinpokomon.

chinpokomon everybody

↓

Well, Kyle, that's not a reason to buy something.

kyle reason

↓

Yeah, Kyle. Don't.

kyle

↓

You see, Son, fads come and go.

fads

↓

And this-- Chinpokomon

chinpokomon

↓

is obviously nothing more than a fad.

obviously

↓

You don't have to be a part of it.

part

↓

In fact, you can even make an even stronger statement

fact statement stronger

↓

by saying to your peers, "I'm not going to be a part

part peers

↓

of this fad because I'm an individual."

individual

↓

Do you understand? - Yes. Yes, I do, dad.

↓

Now, let me tell you how it works in the real world.

real real-world works world

↓

In the real world, I can either get a Chinpokomon,

chinpokomon real real-world world

↓

or I can be the only kid without one,

↓

which singles me out and causes the other kids

causes kids singles

↓

to make fun of me and kick my ass.

fun kick

↓

Hm. Good point. Here's $10. - Thanks.

point thanks

↓

Wait. Here's twenty. Get one for your brother, too.

brother twenty

↓

There you go, son.

↓

I honestly don't know what you see in these things.

↓

Neither do I.

↓

Guess I'll call it a night.

night

↓

Chinpoko. Buy me. Buy me.

↓

When will you become Royal Chinpokomaster?

become chinpokomaster royal

↓

Hurry up and buy me.

hurry

↓

Down with America.

america

↓

What? - I love you.

love

↓

Let's be best friends

best best-friends friends

↓

and destroy the capitalist American government.

american capitalist destroy government

↓

What the hell is going on here?

↓

Hey, you guys, check out my sweet Chinpokomon doll.

check chinpokomon doll sweet

↓

Oh, please, Chinpokomon dolls are so last week.

chinpokomon dolls week

↓

What? - Yeah, dude. Don't you know?

↓

It's all about the Chinpokomon video game now.

chinpokomon game video video-game

↓

Did you bring your special Chinpokomon game controller?

bring chinpokomon controller game special

↓

Huh? No. - Oh.

↓

You didn't get a special Chinpokomon game controller?

chinpokomon controller game special

↓

Jesus Christ.

christ jesus jesus-christ

↓

Chinpokomon. What is primary objective?

chinpokomon objective primary

↓

To destroy the evil power.

destroy evil evil-power power

↓

I've got to buy all the Chinpokomon

chinpokomon

↓

so I can destroy the evil power, oh!

destroy evil evil-power power

↓

Oh! - Damn it.

↓

I've got to buy them all.

↓

So first, I'd better go to Hawaii

hawaii

↓

and visit Pearl Harbor.

harbor pearl pearl-harbor visit

↓

Try to bomb the harbor. Ready? Go.

bomb harbor ready

↓

I must buy them all. I must buy them all.

must

↓

We must buy them all.

must

↓

Try to bomb the harbor.

bomb harbor

↓

Dude, the video game gave Kenny a seizure.

game kenny seizure video video-game

↓

Dude, this game rules.

game rules

↓

Hello?

↓

Hello?

↓

Welcome to Chinpokomon Toy Corporation.

chinpokomon corporation welcome

↓

Please state name:

name state

↓

Red Harris. I own a toy store in America.

america harris store

↓

Please state purpose:

purpose state

↓

Uh, I want to know what the hell you people

↓

are doing with these dolls talking about

dolls

↓

bringing down American government and all.

american bringing government

↓

I am President Hirohito, and this is Mr. Hosek.

hirohito president

↓

Pleased to meet you.

meet pleased

↓

We understand you have big concern about our fine product.

concern product

↓

Well, yes, do you mind telling me

mind mind-telling telling

↓

what the hell this is about?

↓

The American government lies to you.

american government lies

↓

Join the fight for Japanese supremacy of the world.

fight japanese join world

↓

More to come.

↓

Well? - Uh...

↓

That is so strange.

strange

↓

I do not know how this could happen.

happen

↓

But rest assured, I will make sure

assured rest rest-assured

↓

it does not happen again.

happen

↓

Well, now, come on.

↓

I don't think that that quite satisfies my--

↓

You are American? - Yes.

american

↓

Oh, you must have very big penis.

must penis

↓

Excuse me?

excuse

↓

I was just asking you

asking

↓

what you're up to with these toys.

toys

↓

Nothing.

↓

We are very simple people with very small penis.

penis simple

↓

Mr. Hosek's penis is especially small.

especially penis

↓

So small.

↓

We cannot achieve much with so small penis.

achieve cannot penis

↓

But you Americans, wow. Penis so big. So big penis.

americans penis

↓

Well, I-I guess it is a pretty good size.

size

↓

Minata, kit-eh kit-eh.

↓

This man has a very big penis.

penis

↓

Oh, what an immense penis.

penis

↓

Well, it certainly was nice meeting you folk.

certainly folk meeting

↓

I just wanted to bring that little malfunction

bring malfunction wanted

↓

to your attention.

attention

↓

Bye-bye, now. - Good bye.

↓

Thank you for stopping by with your gargantuan penis.

penis stopping

↓

I've got to buy Chinpokomon. I've got to buy them.

chinpokomon

↓

Must buy Chinpokomon.

chinpokomon must

↓

Amerikano, kodomo mindaga Chinpokomon motte imaga,

chinpokomon

↓

"Phase two" kaesrokida...Ikimashoo.

phase

↓

The time has come. We will take Pearl Harbor.

harbor pearl pearl-harbor

↓

♪ I've got to buy it, I've got to buy it ♪

↓

♪ Chinpokomon ♪ - What're you doing?

chinpokomon whatre

↓

I'm watching one of Stanley's Chinpokomon video tapes.

chinpokomon stanleys tapes video watching

↓

Why?

↓

Our son loves this show, Randy,

loves randy

↓

so I think it's important that we watch it

watch

↓

to see if it's teaching him good moral values.

moral teaching values

↓

Hey. You must be Roostor.

must roostor

↓

I haven't bought one of you yet, but I bet you can transform

bought

↓

into Roostalion if you found Diamond Skill Seven.

diamond found seven skill

↓

Roostor.

roostor

↓

Hey, I'm gonna take your roostor

roostor

↓

and put it in this bag, where it will flourish

flourish

↓

or expire depending on fate.

depending expire fate

↓

Hey, is that a good idea?

idea

↓

Roostors aren't like Chuchunesbis.

↓

They haven't the heart for such endeavors.

heart

↓

Oh!

↓

Are those good moral values?

moral values

↓

I don't know what the hell they're talking about.

↓

Lambtron, you are losing the battle of your life.

battle life losing

↓

But Lambtron's power level gives him

gives level power

↓

a good chance of new fight; will they succeed?

chance fight succeed

↓

I am sad now, because Lambtron must be very lonely

lonely must

↓

because there are so few Lambtrons in the world.

world

↓

Will he ever find a companion?

companion

↓

This doesn't make sense.

sense

↓

Are those stupid things supposed to be

stupid supposed

↓

animals or robots or what?

animals robots

↓

I don't know, but I suddenly kind of wanna own them all.

suddenly

↓

Randy, we can't allow our son to watch this stuff.

allow randy stuff watch

↓

Well, it's not like it's vulgar or violent.

violent vulgar

↓

No, but it's incredibly stupid, and that can be

incredibly stupid

↓

worse on a child's mind than any vulgarity or violence.

childs mind violence worse

↓

Remember what Battle of the Network Stars

battle network remember stars

↓

did to an entire generation.

entire generation

↓

My God. You're right.

↓

♪ Come on, brothers and sisters ♪

brothers sisters

↓

♪ We've all got to join together ♪

join

↓

♪ Join together and give me money ♪

join money

↓

♪ So I can buy more Chinpokomon ♪

chinpokomon

↓

♪ We've got to stop this fighting ♪

fighting

↓

How's it going, fat ass? - Haven't made any money yet.

money

↓

What? You've been out here all weekend.

weekend

↓

How're we gonna raise money to get into the Chinpokomon camp?

camp chinpokomon chinpokomon-camp howre money raise raise-money

↓

Hey, I'm the one who's been standing out here

standing

↓

with this gay guitar like a God damn hippie all weekend.

guitar hippie weekend

↓

What have you two assholes done? - We can't do anything.

assholes

↓

Kenny still hasn't come out of his seizure.

kenny seizure

↓

I've got it.

↓

I've got my Chinpokomon game controller.

chinpokomon controller game

↓

Jesus-tap-dancing-Christ. Get with the program, Kyle.

christ dancing jesus kyle program

↓

Yeah, nobody plays the Chinpokomon video games anymore.

anymore chinpokomon games nobody plays video video-games

↓

Now it's all about the big weekend Chinpokomon camp.

camp chinpokomon chinpokomon-camp weekend

↓

Camp?

camp

↓

The makers of Chinpokomon are going town to town

chinpokomon makers town

↓

and putting on a special camp to show all

camp putting special

↓

the Chinpokomasters how to destroy the evil power.

destroy evil evil-power power

↓

You didn't know that? - No, I knew it. I knew it.

↓

I was just testing you guys.

testing

↓

You just wait till I get to that Chinpokomon camp.

camp chinpokomon chinpokomon-camp till

↓

I'm gonna be the toughest master of them all.

master toughest

↓

So we'll see you there. Ai'ght?

aight

↓

Dude. Did you just say "ai'ght"?

aight

↓

Yeah. You know. Like Lauryn Hill. Ai'ght.

aight hill

↓

Oh my God. That's so yesterday.

yesterday

↓

Yeah, dude. Nobody says "ai'ght" anymore.

aight anymore nobody

↓

What? "Ai'ghts" not cool either? When did that happen?

cool happen

↓

Like, eight days ago. - God damn it.

days eight eight-days

↓

Hey, kids, only one more day till the Chinpokomon camp.

camp chinpokomon chinpokomon-camp kids till

↓

Come early and enjoy all the Chinpokofun.

early enjoy

↓

♪ Chinpokomon camp ♪

camp chinpokomon chinpokomon-camp

↓

♪ I have to buy a ticket ♪

ticket

↓

♪ I have to buy one, a ticket ♪

ticket

↓

♪ I've got to buy, buy, buy ♪

↓

This Saturday and Sunday, you can't wait to go.

saturday sunday

↓

♪ Chinpokomon ♪

chinpokomon

↓

We just thought we'd bring it to everyone's attention,

attention bring everyones

↓

because honestly, we don't know how to feel.

↓

Well, I'm letting Eric go to the camp.

camp eric letting

↓

I mean, it seems to me this Chinpokomon thing

chinpokomon seems

↓

is just another harmless fad.

another harmless

↓

Yeah, we told Kyle he could go

kyle

↓

if he did all his chores, and he did.

chores

↓

Now, I'm not sure this blatant commercialism

↓

is good for our boys.

boys

↓

Well, you know how it is, Randy.

randy

↓

The more we forbid them to play with Chinpokomons,

forbid

↓

the more they're gonna love them.

love

↓

You're right, Sheila.

sheila

↓

I guess the best thing we can do is just let them go

best

↓

until they get sick of it.

sick

↓

Sure, apparently, they've been doing these camps

apparently camps

↓

in every city around the country.

city country

↓

How bad can they be?

↓

Get out of the way. Move it. - Can you see anything?

↓

it's starting. It's starting.

starting

↓

♪ I've got to buy it, I've got to buy it ♪

↓

♪ Chinpokomon ♪

chinpokomon

↓

Attention. Attention.

attention

↓

This is Chinpokomon camp.

camp chinpokomon chinpokomon-camp

↓

Chinpokomon is what we strive to be in our hearts.

chinpokomon hearts

↓

Our hearts.

hearts

↓

Kenny?

kenny

↓

What is the primary main objective?

main main-objective objective primary primary-main primary-main-objective

↓

To destroy the evil power.

destroy evil evil-power power

↓

Power.

power

↓

Yes. And what is the evil power?

evil evil-power power

↓

The evil power is... the United States government.

evil evil-power government power states states-government united united-states united-states-government

↓

Oh.

↓

United States government is an evil power.

evil evil-power government power states states-government united united-states united-states-government

↓

It has attacked Japanese military.

attacked japanese military

↓

It has broken Japanese spirit.

broken japanese spirit

↓

And what do Chinpokomasters do to the evil power?

evil evil-power power

↓

Destroy it.

destroy

↓

Destroy it?

destroy

↓

That is correct.

correct

↓

Now, it is a great honor to present

honor present

↓

your Chinpokoleader, Emperor Hirohito.

emperor hirohito

↓

One government can not forever pass its laws on others.

forever government laws others pass

↓

The strength of Japan is in its history,

history japan strength

↓

and it is based on that history

based history

↓

that we shall again rise to the dominant world power.

dominant power rise world

↓

Is this cool or not? I can't tell.

cool

↓

It is again time for the rising sun

rising

↓

to ship tall in the sky.

ship tall

↓

One Japan. One society.

japan society

↓

We will begin with language and exercise skills.

begin exercise language skills

↓

Hajimete.

↓

Ichi, ni, san, shi. Ichi, ni, san, shi.

↓

ichi, ni, san, shi. Ichi, ni, san, shi.

↓

Okay, children. I want it quiet.

children quiet

↓

Now, we're gonna try this again until we get it right.

↓

What is six times three?

three times

↓

Juuhachi desu ka? - Juuhachi da nee.

↓

No, God damn it. It's 18.

↓

Juuhachi is 18, Garrison-san.

garrison

↓

For the last time, my name is not Garrison-san, all right?

garrison name

↓

And this is not Hat-san.

↓

And you all better start talking

start

↓

in a matter that I can understand.

matter

↓

Wuu, Garrison-san sabuchii dana.

dana garrison

↓

What did he say?

↓

He said, "Garrison-san sabuchii dana."

dana garrison

↓

Soo desu nee.

↓

Damn it. This is not Japan.

japan

↓

Minata. Kite kite, churl....

kite

↓

Dare ga pu shita no.

dare

↓

People, please. We can only speak one at a time.

speak

↓

Now, Mr. Garrison, you were saying.

garrison

↓

I can't take it, mayor.

mayor

↓

You have to put an end to this Chinpokocamp.

↓

My son hasn't made any sense in days.

days sense

↓

I tell you, mayor, these Japanese

japanese mayor

↓

are trying to change our American children somehow.

american change children

↓

All right, people, Mr. Hirohito and Mr. Hosek

hirohito

↓

were nice enough to stop by to talk to you.

↓

Gentlemen.

gentlemen

↓

We at the Japan Toy Company are very concerned

company concerned japan

↓

about your concerns.

concerns

↓

That is why we make Chinpokomon camp.

camp chinpokomon chinpokomon-camp

↓

Well, how is it good?

↓

We don't understand what the point of your product is.

point product

↓

There is nothing to worry about.

worry

↓

We are Japan Toy Company are in awe of your large penis.

company japan penis

↓

What?

↓

You see, Japanese penis is so small.

japanese penis

↓

So small.

↓

You Americans have such humongous, bulbous penis.

americans humongous penis

↓

Well, I guess that's true.

↓

Oh, such a nice big penis, American.

american penis

↓

What can we possibly do with such small penis?

penis possibly

↓

We cannot take over your city

cannot city

↓

filled with men of such mastadonic penis.

filled penis

↓

Well, he's got a point there.

point

↓

Well, I guess that settles that.

settles

↓

We're sorry we took your time, gentlemen.

gentlemen

↓

Oh, no. Thank you.

↓

Another chance to be in same room with big American penis.

american another another-chance chance penis room

↓

My penis so small.

penis

↓

Nice guys.

↓

So, what are we going to do about our children?

children

↓

Uh, hello? - Okay, people.

↓

I know this Chimpokomon fad is causing a lot of problems.

causing problems

↓

But I think we've already found a solution.

found solution

↓

You have? - Children are fickle.

children

↓

All we have to do is come up with a new fad.

↓

We find the next toy and turn them all onto it

↓

as soon as possible.

possible

↓

Of course. That's a great idea.

course idea

↓

But, what toy?

↓

All right, boys, we're going to show you

boys

↓

a couple of commercials,

commercials couple

↓

and you tell us which toy interests you the most.

interests

↓

Now, watch carefully.

carefully watch

↓

Hey, kids. Do you like Chinpokomon?

chinpokomon kids

↓

Yeah!

↓

Well, then you're gonna go wild

wild

↓

for Wild Wacky Action Bike.

action action-bike bike wacky wacky-action wacky-action-bike wild wild-wacky wild-wacky-action

↓

♪ Wild Wacky Action Bike ♪

action action-bike bike wacky wacky-action wacky-action-bike wild wild-wacky wild-wacky-action

↓

♪ The bike that's hard to ride ♪

bike hard ride

↓

Wild Wacky Action Bike is almost impossible to steer

action action-bike bike impossible steer wacky wacky-action wacky-action-bike wild wild-wacky wild-wacky-action

↓

and it glows in the dark.

dark

↓

♪ Gonna try to ride it all day long ♪

ride

↓

♪ But I'm gonna fail 'cause it's Wild Wacky Action Bike ♪

action action-bike bike fail wacky wacky-action wacky-action-bike wild wild-wacky wild-wacky-action

↓

♪ You can't ride it, you can't ride it ♪

ride

↓

♪ Wild Wacky Action Bike ♪

action action-bike bike wacky wacky-action wacky-action-bike wild wild-wacky wild-wacky-action

↓

Wild Wacky Action Bike comes with everything you see here.

action action-bike bike comes wacky wacky-action wacky-action-bike wild wild-wacky wild-wacky-action

↓

Gay. - Yeah, dude.

↓

That looks totally gay. - Oh...

↓

Okay. Here's the next one.

↓

Hey, kids. Do you like Chinpokomon?

chinpokomon kids

↓

Yeah!

↓

Then you're gonna love Alabama Man.

alabama love

↓

♪ Alabama Man ♪

alabama

↓

♪ He's quick, he's strong, he's active ♪

active quick strong

↓

You can take Alabama Man to the bowling alley,

alabama alley bowling bowling-alley

↓

where he drinks heavily and chews tobacco.

drinks heavily tobacco

↓

Wow. He can bowl.

bowl

↓

♪ He can bowl, he can drink, he can drink some more ♪

bowl drink

↓

♪ Alabama Man ♪

alabama

↓

When wife asks him where he's been,

asks wife

↓

just use the action button, and Alabama Man busts her lip open.

action alabama button open

↓

Shut up, bitch. - Wow.

bitch

↓

♪ He beats up his wife and sleeps it off ♪

beats sleeps wife

↓

♪ Alabama Man ♪

alabama

↓

I want to be just like Alabama Man.

alabama

↓

Alabama Man comes with everything you see here.

alabama comes

↓

Wife sold separately.

separately sold wife

↓

I thought I told you to shut up.

↓

Not all people from Alabama are wife-beaters.

alabama wife

↓

Gay. - Totally gay.

↓

Liberace gay.

↓

Oh, dear.

dear

↓

Well, let's keep trying. How about this?

↓

- Owatta. - Beikoku.

beikoku owatta owatta-beikoku

↓

- Owatta. - Beikoku.

beikoku owatta owatta-beikoku

↓

Nihon en ima hajimaru.

↓

Stan? Stan, it's mommy.

mommy stan stan-stan

↓

Beikoku.

beikoku

↓

Stanley, you need to come home right now.

home stanley

↓

Mommy misses you.

misses mommy

↓

- Owatta. - Beikoku.

beikoku owatta owatta-beikoku

↓

Stanley, I'm talking to you.

stanley

↓

Beikoku.

beikoku

↓

Aww!

↓

Stan, please. Come home.

home stan

↓

Kore wa watashi no uchi desu. - So desu nee.

↓

Do not worry. Everything is okay.

worry

↓

No, it's not okay. - Oh.

↓

But you have such a large penis.

penis

↓

What? - Your penis. Wow.

penis

↓

What he mean is that all men in this town

town

↓

have very large penis.

penis

↓

Can't you see what's happening?

↓

They're just using that talk to distract you.

distract using

↓

He doesn't really have a small penis.

penis

↓

Misenasai.

↓

Oh.

↓

- Owatta. - Beikoku.

beikoku owatta owatta-beikoku

↓

- Owatta. - Beikoku.

beikoku owatta owatta-beikoku

↓

My God. Is there nothing we can do?

↓

Wait a minute. Wait a minute. I think I know the answer.

answer minute

↓

I know how to get our kids to stop liking Chinpokomon.

chinpokomon kids liking

↓

How? - Come on.

↓

We don't have much time.

↓

And now, for a special announcement

announcement special

↓

from the president of the United States.

president states united united-states

↓

My fellow Americans, I wish to address the concerns

address americans concerns fellow wish

↓

many of us have over the growing number of

growing number

↓

Japanese military bases forming in the United States.

bases japanese military states united united-states

↓

The new Japanese Emperor, Hirohito,

emperor hirohito japanese

↓

has made our own children into fighter pilots,

children fighter pilots

↓

who will soon fly to Hawaii and and attack Pearl Harbor.

attack harbor hawaii pearl pearl-harbor

↓

I spoke with Mr. Hirohito this morning,

hirohito morning spoke

↓

and he assured me that I have a very large penis.

assured penis

↓

He said it was mammoth, dinosauric,

↓

and absolutely dwarfed his penis,

absolutely penis

↓

which he assured me was nearly microscopic in size.

assured nearly size

↓

My penis, he said,

penis

↓

was most likely one of the biggest on the planet.

biggest likely planet

↓

I applaud Mr. Hirohito in his honesty.

applaud hirohito honesty

↓

Thank you.

↓

Your plane will fly autopilot to Pearl Harbor.

harbor pearl pearl-harbor plane

↓

When you arrive, you will drop many bombs.

arrive bombs drop

↓

Hai, sachoo-san.

↓

Nan da kore?

↓

Chinpoko ga dai-suki yoo. - What?

↓

We just came to support you. We love Chinpokomon, too.

chinpokomon love support

↓

It's super toy number one.

number super

↓

You like it? - You bet.

↓

I think Chinpokoman is Chinpokarific.

↓

I've got shoe.

shoe

↓

Come on, Eric, let's try to battle

battle eric

↓

your Roostor with my Donkeytron.

roostor

↓

Uh, no. That's okay, Mom.

↓

What are they doing? - It's a trick.

trick

↓

Hey, Stan. Look at my new bumper sticker.

stan sticker

↓

Isn't that cool? - No.

cool

↓

Screw this, dude. - Where're you going, Stan?

screw stan

↓

I don't know, Chinpokomon just doesn't seem that cool anymore.

anymore chinpokomon cool

↓

I'm gonna go kill some ants or something.

ants kill

↓

Wait for me, I want to get out of these stupid clothes.

clothes stupid

↓

Noooo!

noooo

↓

Well, you were right, Sharon, the best way to make our kids

best kids sharon

↓

not like something, is to like it ourselves.

↓

That's right.

↓

Anything we like is instantly not cool.

cool instantly

↓

We know how to take 'em out, Mr. Garrison.

garrison

↓

Spread the word, get on the wire to every parent

parent spread wire word

↓

around the country, and tell 'em

country

↓

how to bring those sons of bitches down.

bitches bring sons

↓

Hey, Mom, I'm sorry I went a little nutty

nutty

↓

with that Chinpokomon stuff.

chinpokomon stuff

↓

Can I have $5 to buy a football? - You bet, Stanley.

football stanley

↓

Owatta beikoku.

beikoku owatta owatta-beikoku

↓

Kyle, it's over.

kyle

↓

But I'm gonna be Royal Crown Chinpokomaster.

chinpokomaster crown crown-chinpokomaster royal royal-crown royal-crown-chinpokomaster

↓

Dude, Chinpokomon isn't cool anymore.

anymore chinpokomon cool

↓

What? - Yeah, dude. That's way over.

↓

You're just jealous, because I'm Chinpokomaster.

chinpokomaster jealous

↓

No, Kyle, you see, we've learned something today.

kyle learned today

↓

This whole Chinpokomon thing happened

chinpokomon happened whole

↓

because we all followed the group.

followed group

↓

We only liked Chinpokomon because everyone else did.

chinpokomon liked

↓

And look at the damage it caused.

caused damage

↓

So now I should stop liking Chinpokomon,

chinpokomon liking

↓

because you all don't? - Yeah.

↓

But if I stop now, I'd just be going with the group again.

group

↓

So to be an individual, I have to bomb Pearl Harbor.

bomb harbor individual pearl pearl-harbor

↓

See ya. - Oh. Wait!

↓

Actually, I was wrong.

↓

You see, Kyle, I learned something just now.

kyle learned

↓

It is good to go with the group.

group

↓

A group mentality is healthy sometimes.

group healthy sometimes

↓

Aw, screw it. I'm too confused.

confused screw

↓

Oh, I'm sure glad this is all over.

glad

↓

Hey, get off of him! He's not dead yet!

dead

↓

No! Get off, you stupid rats. He's not dead yet.

dead rats stupid

↓

Hey, you guys want to go to the toy store after school

school store

↓

and get some Spaceman Greg cards?

cards greg

↓

Nah, I think I'm through with fads for a while.

fads

↓

Me too; I'm choosing my own toys from now on,

choosing toys

↓

'cause...

↓

What the...

↓

Oh, ho, ho, ho! Gross!

gross