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Home » South Park » S03E08 — Two Guys Naked in a Hot Tub

South Park

Season 3, Episode 8 — Two Guys Naked in a Hot Tub

TMDB episode metadata

Show: South Park

Episode title: Two Guys Naked in a Hot Tub

Air date: July 21, 1999

Director: Trey Parker

Top billed cast: Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Isaac Hayes, Mary Kay Bergman, Milan Agnone, Jennifer Howell

Stan's parents bring him to Mr. Mackey's party, but he gets sent down to the basement to be with the lame kids. Kyle and Stan's fathers experiment with their homosexual tendencies. The ATF is convinced that the meteor shower party is actually a gathering of a religious cult that is going to commit suicide when the meteor shower arrives. Stan tries to save himself and the party from the ATF.

Source: TMDB

↓

Hey Stan!

stan

↓

cuz then we'll have even more fun than

fun

↓

This here is Dougie.

dougie

↓

He's not too old but he sure is a hoot to hang with!

hang hoot

↓

I like math.

math

↓

until I yell "churrah"!

yell

↓

Well... alrighty then.

alrighty

↓

Here it is.

↓

I just had the hot tub put in last week.

week

↓

Wow, neat!

neat

↓

It looks quite inviting!

inviting

↓

Yeah, you can get a lot of action

action

↓

when you have a hot tub.

↓

Oh, Mr. Mackey, you nut!

mackey

↓

Hell, we should get in!

↓

Yeah!

↓

Sure go ahead, it's a party isn't it, m'kay!

ahead go-ahead mkay party

↓

Oh I'm not hot-tubbing.

↓

I have nothing to wear.

wear

↓

That's okay!

↓

No hot tub for me.

↓

Well, screw you guys!

screw

↓

I'm getting in for a while too!

↓

Geronimo!

↓

Oh, look at our boys, Sheila!

boys sheila

↓

It's just like they're in college again!

college

↓

Okay angels, what's our mission this week?

angels mission week

↓

I don't know what our mission is.

mission

↓

Do you know what our mission is, little first grade kid?

grade mission

↓

How should I know?

↓

Oh, dear...

dear

↓

We're Charlie's Angels but we don't have a mission.

angels charlies mission

↓

Hey, that's because we need Bosley.

bosley

↓

Bosley always told the angels what their mission was.

angels bosley mission

↓

Remember Bosley?

bosley remember

↓

We need somebody to be Bosley.

bosley somebody

↓

What?

↓

Well, we hate to trouble you, Stan,

hate stan trouble

↓

but would you mind terribly being Bosley for us?

bosley mind terribly

↓

What do I have to do?

↓

You just gotta tell us what our mission is.

mission

↓

That's all.

↓

That's all Bosley does.

bosley

↓

Just give a mission and us angels will accomplish it.

accomplish angels mission

↓

Alright, alright, here's your mission...

alright alright-alright mission

↓

In ten minutes this room is going to fill up with water

fill minutes room water

↓

and drown everybody.

drown everybody

↓

You have to find me a way out of this room, fast.

fast room

↓

Oh, that's a splendid mission!

mission splendid

↓

Well, what are we waiting for?

waiting

↓

We gotta find a way out of this room, by golly,

golly room

↓

or else we're all gonna get drowned!

drowned

↓

Come on, angels!

angels

↓

Which angel am I, again?

angel

↓

Oh boy, it's nice to have a night off without the kids.

kids night

↓

Yeah, I know what you mean.

↓

I love having a family and all,

family having love

↓

I just miss being able to party.

able miss party

↓

Drinking and socializing,

drinking

↓

experimenting with all kinds of different things.

experimenting kinds

↓

Well that's what being young is all about.

young

↓

Once you have a family and a career,

career family

↓

your experimenting days are over.

days experimenting

↓

But tonight is the exception!

exception tonight

↓

That's why I'm gonna smoke this cigar,

cigar smoke

↓

only 'cause I've never smoked before!

smoked

↓

Good idea!

idea

↓

What haven't you tried that you've always wanted to try?

tried wanted

↓

I don't know...

↓

Maybe I'll drink a few more beers

beers drink

↓

and see where the party takes me!

party takes

↓

Yeah!

↓

Was that your leg?

↓

Huh?

↓

Oh, you mean this?

↓

Yeah.

↓

Yeah, that was me.

↓

Bosley! Bosley!

bosley

↓

What, Pip?

↓

Oh, no no no...

↓

My name is "Sabrina Duncan".

duncan name sabrina

↓

Remember, we're playing "Charlie's Angels".

angels charlies playing remember

↓

What the hell do you want?!

↓

Well, we've completed our mission.

completed mission

↓

Jill found a way upstairs.

found jill upstairs

↓

He did?!

↓

Airshaft.

↓

Dougie pushed that big box out of the way

dougie pushed

↓

and found this old ventilation duct.

duct found

↓

I reckon' it's got to lead somewhere

lead reckon

↓

and it's good 'cause now we won't drown!

drown

↓

So, Bosley, what's our next mission?

bosley mission

↓

We're going upstairs!

upstairs

↓

Upstairs?

upstairs

↓

Why there ain't nothin' upstairs but adults

adults aint nothin upstairs

↓

why would we wanna go upstairs for?

upstairs

↓

Because, you stupid melvins,

stupid

↓

they have rad food and desserts upstairs!

food upstairs

↓

Hey, did you see Principal Victoria in there?

principal principal-victoria victoria

↓

She looks hot!

↓

She sure does!

↓

I wouldn't mind taking that home!

home mind

↓

Oh yeah, I'm sure your wife would love that!

love wife

↓

I wish!

wish

↓

That's the one thing I've always thought of experimenting with.

experimenting

↓

A threesome!

threesome

↓

With two girls or two guys?

girls

↓

Well, two girls, of course!

course girls

↓

I mean--

↓

with another guy, you know, that'd be...

another thatd

↓

You never had a homosexual fantasy?

fantasy homosexual

↓

...Not that I have.

↓

You haven't?

↓

No, I mean.

↓

Well, they say everybody has at some point...

everybody point

↓

don't they?

↓

Well, I never really wanted to experiment

experiment wanted

↓

with anything too crazy.

crazy

↓

You know, maybe just... I don't know...

↓

...masturbate in front of another guy...

another front masturbate

↓

Yeah, well...

↓

That's not really gay, is it?

↓

No, no. I-I don't think so...

↓

Well, it is a night for experimenting.

experimenting night

↓

It sure is!

↓

Okay, I'll start.

start

↓

This must be the place.

must place

↓

They've got all kinds of crazy things going on in there.

crazy kinds

↓

Code Seven.

code seven

↓

We believe we have found the compound.

believe compound found

↓

Request immediate backup.

backup immediate request

↓

Okay, so just what is going on here, people?

↓

Get down!

↓

What?

↓

It's just like we told you, officer.

officer

↓

There is a religious cult in there

cult religious religious-cult

↓

that plans to commit mass suicide

commit commit-mass commit-mass-suicide mass mass-suicide plans suicide

↓

when the meteor shower starts.

meteor meteor-shower shower starts

↓

Are you sure?

↓

Of course, we're sure!

course

↓

We're the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms!

alcohol bureau firearms tobacco

↓

It's our job to know what these fanatics do!

↓

So what does the ATF do when religious fanatics

religious

↓

are gonna commit mass suicide?

commit commit-mass commit-mass-suicide mass mass-suicide suicide

↓

Oh don't worry, we won't let that happen.

happen worry

↓

Even if it means we have to kill

kill

↓

each and every one of them.

↓

What's the situation?

situation

↓

Apparently we've got at least five dozen men and women in there

apparently dozen five least women

↓

who intend to commit suicide when the meteor shower starts.

commit commit-suicide intend meteor meteor-shower shower starts suicide

↓

Any luck talking to somebody in the house?

house luck somebody

↓

We've tried calling but there's no answer.

answer calling tried

↓

I think we're gonna have to move in, sir.

↓

Alright, Johnson!

alright johnson

↓

Sir!

↓

I'm sending you in, watch your ass.

sending watch

↓

Yes sir!

↓

Oh, come on in join the party, m'kay?

join mkay party

↓

Would you like a meteor mai tai?

meteor

↓

Hey, I love mai tais!

love

↓

We did it! Great job, angels!

angels

↓

So what's our mission now, huh, Bosley?

bosley mission

↓

What do you want us to do now, I wonder?

wonder

↓

Alright, angels...

alright angels

↓

Your next mission is to get Bosley some cookies

bosley cookies mission

↓

and a TV set.

↓

What kind of cookies do you want, Bosley?

bosley cookies

↓

I don't care, just hurry!

care hurry

↓

Hooray!

hooray

↓

So... well... that was certainly...

certainly

↓

Interesting.

interesting

↓

Yeah...

↓

You don't regret doing it now, do you?

regret

↓

No, no...

↓

What's there to regret, right?

regret

↓

I mean...

↓

All we did was watch each other...

watch

↓

masturbate.

masturbate

↓

That's not gay or anything.

↓

We said so, right?

↓

That's right.

↓

It was just harmless experimenting.

experimenting harmless

↓

Well, let's just get back into the party

party

↓

and see what everybody's doing.

everybodys

↓

Hey...

↓

Nothing changes between us, right?

changes

↓

I mean, we're still friends?

friends

↓

Oh, yeah, yeah, sure, sure.

↓

Damnit, where is Johnson?

damnit johnson

↓

No communication, sir.

communication

↓

It doesn't look good for him.

↓

Those bastards!

bastards

↓

Great party, Mr. Mackey, thank you so much.

mackey party

↓

Are you sure you have to leave so early?

early

↓

We both have to be up early tomorrow, but thanks again!

early thanks tomorrow

↓

M'kay, drive carefully, m'kay.

carefully drive mkay

↓

Hold it right there!

↓

Whatever it is you are intending to do.

↓

Do not do it.

↓

Your freaky religious cult will not succeed in its plan!

cult freaky plan religious religious-cult succeed

↓

What?

↓

Do not move or we will be forced to shoot--

forced shoot

↓

Goddamnit who was that?!

goddamnit

↓

Did you see them move?!

↓

I did.

↓

Yeah.

↓

Yeah, they moved alright.

alright moved

↓

Well, I'll tell you what,

↓

we may not have Elway this year

elway

↓

but Brister won every game he started in last year!

game started

↓

That's true, but Elway was the heart of the team.

elway heart team

↓

Who's the leader now?

leader

↓

I think the Jets are gonna be the team to beat

beat jets team

↓

this year in the AFC.

↓

Yeah.

↓

Hey, if you watch another guy masturbate

another masturbate watch

↓

does that make you gay?

↓

What?

↓

Well, I just-- I have this buddy...

buddy

↓

And he sat and watched another guy play with himself...

another watched

↓

Well...

↓

Let's go kick his ass!

kick

↓

Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!

↓

Where is he?

↓

Oh, he lives in like...

lives

↓

...Florida.

florida

↓

Aw!

↓

Hey Randy, what are you doing?

randy

↓

Nothing.

↓

Uh...I'm gonna go get some chips.

chips

↓

Can I come with you?

↓

Okay...

↓

Come right on in here, Bosley!

bosley

↓

It was my idea.

idea

↓

I got to thinkin', "where do people keep TV sets"

sets thinkin

↓

and then I remembered that lots of grown-ups

grown lots remembered

↓

have TVs in their bedrooms,

bedrooms

↓

so I walked into Mr. Mackey's bedroom

bedroom walked

↓

and sure enough here it was.

↓

Rad!

↓

Okay, Bosley, we got you cookies and a TV set.

bosley cookies

↓

So what's our next mission?

mission

↓

There are no more missions.

missions

↓

I have everything I want.

↓

We ain't got no more missions?

aint missions

↓

What are we supposed to do?

supposed

↓

We're angels!

angels

↓

What do angels do without missions?

angels missions

↓

Just play something else!!

↓

God!!!

↓

Oh, dear. We've angered Bosley.

bosley dear

↓

Tom, I'm standing in front of a house

front house standing

↓

where a religious cult is planning to commit mass suicide

commit commit-mass commit-mass-suicide cult mass mass-suicide planning religious religious-cult suicide

↓

when the meteor shower starts.

meteor meteor-shower shower starts

↓

Whoa, cool!

cool whoa

↓

I wanna be a reporter someday!

reporter someday

↓

Just moments ago, a couple emerged from the house--

couple house moments

↓

according to the ATF, the couple refused to cooperate,

according couple refused

↓

then pulled out very big guns and started shooting everyone.

guns pulled shooting started

↓

The ATF had no choice but to shoot the insane couple,

choice couple insane shoot

↓

and now a standoff has ensued.

↓

Oooh! Looks like that cult

cult oooh

↓

is about to be blown to tiny bits!

bits blown tiny

↓

The ATF commander tells that he has reason to believe

believe commander reason tells

↓

there may be children inside--

children

↓

Wait a minute...

minute

↓

Oh my God!

↓

Dude, that's this house!

house

↓

They think our parents are the religious cult!

cult parents religious religious-cult

↓

Do you think someday I could be a reporter?

reporter someday

↓

We just received a photo from the recon team,

photo received recon team

↓

of the action inside the house,

action house

↓

showing evidence that there are indeed

evidence indeed showing

↓

innocent children trapped inside.

children innocent trapped

↓

Those sick cult-fanatic bastards!

bastards cult sick

↓

Dude!

↓

Hey, our parents aren't religious fantastics.

parents religious

↓

Why, we gotta tell them

↓

they're making an awful mistake, don't we.

awful mistake

↓

Yes, come on angels!

angels

↓

Looks like we have a new mission!!

mission

↓

Randy, you're really making me feel unimportant.

randy unimportant

↓

Talk... talk, damn you.

↓

Look, I'm just having a hard time

hard having

↓

with what we did in the hot tub.

↓

So now we can't be friends?

friends

↓

I didn't say that.

↓

I mean... I don't know...

↓

I-I just feel so strange.

strange

↓

I know it's ridiculous

ridiculous

↓

but I can't help feeling like people here know.

feeling

↓

You know?

↓

Even though nobody could know

nobody

↓

'cause we said we'd never tell anybody.

anybody

↓

We said we'd never tell anybody?

anybody

↓

Well, of course we wouldn't!

course

↓

Oh... I didn't realize that.

realize

↓

You didn't tell anybody did you?!

anybody

↓

Well... a few people, yeah!

↓

What?!

↓

Why the hell would you do that?!

↓

You didn't say not to tell anyone!

↓

Well of course I thought it would be implied!

course implied

↓

When you masturbate with another guy in a hot tub

another masturbate

↓

you assume that nobody's going to tell anybody!!

anybody assume nobodys

↓

Listen to you, you're yelling at me.

yelling

↓

You've never yelled at me before.

yelled

↓

Aarggh!

↓

Hey, you guys!

↓

We've got a big problem!

problem

↓

The ATF is outside and they think

↓

you're all a religious cult!!

cult religious religious-cult

↓

You gotta go talk to them!!

↓

Raise the roof!!

raise roof

↓

How come they're acting that way, Stan?

acting stan

↓

How come they're laughing and falling down and such?

falling laughing

↓

Mom, go look outside!

↓

Mommy's little poopy-kins!

mommys poopy

↓

Let me handle this, Stan.

handle stan

↓

Now listen up, and listen good, everyone.

↓

Why, I'm awful disappointed in you

awful disappointed

↓

drinkin' and carryin' on this way.

drinkin

↓

You should be ashamed of yourselves.

ashamed yourselves

↓

If you don't get outside right now,

↓

and tell those army guys you're not religious fantastics,

army religious

↓

there's gonna be heck to pay.

heck

↓

Heck, I tell you.

heck

↓

C'mon, we're gonna have to go tell 'em ourselves.

↓

Lay down your weapons.

weapons

↓

We don't have any weapons.

weapons

↓

Go back inside and tell everyone that they are surrounded.

surrounded

↓

Tell them to come out peacefully,

peacefully

↓

and we will not shoot them!

shoot

↓

Argghh! - Get back inside!

↓

I don't think they're gonna come out.

↓

Use the "Gans technique".

technique

↓

What's the "Gans technique"?

technique

↓

This what we did in Waco.

↓

Play really bad music really loud

loud music

↓

until it drives 'em nuts and makes them want to come out.

drives makes nuts

↓

Nobody can stand this much Cher!

nobody stand

↓

This is her new album.

album

↓

If this doesn't drive them out, nothing will!

drive

↓

That's great music, Mr. Mackey, what is that?

mackey music

↓

This is Cher, this is her new album.

album

↓

Well, hell, turn it up!

↓

Yeah, well you know what I heard?

heard

↓

I heard that he's gay.

heard

↓

Oh, is he?

↓

Who?

↓

Huh?

↓

Who did you hear is gay?!

↓

Ricky Martin, the singer.

martin ricky singer

↓

Oh.

↓

Hey, Randy what's up?

randy

↓

What the hell is that supposed to mean?! - Huh?

supposed

↓

Look, shouldn't you be hanging out with your wife right now?

hanging wife

↓

I just felt like talking to you.

↓

There's nothing to talk about.

↓

You're having regrets, aren't you?

having regrets

↓

No...

↓

I don't know.

↓

Hey... talk to me.

↓

No!

↓

I thought we agreed what happened in the hot tub

agreed happened

↓

wouldn't change our relationship.

change relationship

↓

Will you stop it?!

↓

I don't... I just...

↓

Hey "Mister Withdrawn",

mister

↓

you might not need to talk about it, but I sure do.

might

↓

Arrgh!

arrgh

↓

Sharon, Sharon. Can we go?

sharon

↓

Go?

↓

The meteor shower hasn't even started yet!

meteor meteor-shower shower started

↓

I know.

↓

But I want to make love to you, right now.

love

↓

I have to make love to you right now.

love

↓

Randy, relax.

randy relax

↓

We don't ever get to party, now come on, loosen up!

loosen party

↓

Experiment!

experiment

↓

I already did.

↓

Dad, Dad, they shot at us!

shot

↓

Not now, Stan.

stan

↓

Mom!

↓

Whoopie!

whoopie

↓

Hey, what are we gonna do, huh?!

↓

They shot at us!

shot

↓

They really shot at us!

shot

↓

They ain't gonna stop until we're all dead I bet'cha!

aint betcha dead

↓

Us and all our families.

families

↓

Get a hold of yourself, man!

↓

How come you slapped my face, Stan, huh?

face slapped stan

↓

What on earth would you go and do that for anyways?

anyways earth

↓

Come on, we have to find out what's happening!

↓

I am standing now with Danny Ganz,

danny standing

↓

the commander of the ATF.

commander

↓

Commander, what is the latest?

commander latest

↓

We have not had any cooperation with the cult inside the house.

cooperation cult house

↓

They are refusing to come out,

refusing

↓

and apparently, they still plan to commit mass suicide

apparently commit commit-mass commit-mass-suicide mass mass-suicide plan suicide

↓

once the meteor shower starts,

meteor meteor-shower shower starts

↓

which should be any moment now.

moment

↓

See how reporters get to wear those cool jackets?

cool jackets reporters wear

↓

That's why I wanna be a reporter!

reporter

↓

So what are your plans, commander?

commander plans

↓

Right now our plan is to burn the house down.

burn house plan

↓

If we set it on fire,

fire

↓

they'll have no choice but to come out.

choice

↓

Oh dear god, they're gonna set us on fire!

dear fire

↓

Oh great Jesus, son of Mary, wife of Joseph what are we gonna do?!

jesus joseph mary wife

↓

Oh sweet Joseph husband to Mary but not father of sweet Jesus!!

father husband jesus joseph mary sweet sweet-jesus

↓

Shhh!

shhh

↓

Setting them on fire seems a little dangerous, commander.

commander dangerous fire seems setting

↓

It is...

↓

But we can't let them kill themselves.

kill

↓

We have to let them know this isn't a cult party!

cult party

↓

But we can't, they'll just shoot at us again!

shoot

↓

They're gonna burn us up and act like nothing happened.

burn happened

↓

Oh sweet Jesus, Mary mother of Jesus wife of Joseph, father to Mary...

father jesus joseph mary mother sweet sweet-jesus wife

↓

Wait... Mary wife of...

mary wife

↓

Hold on.

↓

C'mon angels, we've got a new mission.

angels mission

↓

And this time... it's for real.

real

↓

For hours now the ATF has tried to communicate

communicate hours tried

↓

with the religious fanatics inside this house.

house religious

↓

The meteor shower is expected to begin at any moment,

begin expected meteor meteor-shower moment shower

↓

and so time is running out.

running

↓

Oh look, Harold's doing it again!

↓

This is Jill Monroe reporting live

jill live reporting reporting-live

↓

from inside the meteor shower party.

meteor meteor-shower party shower

↓

As you can see, this is a perfectly normal party.

normal party perfectly perfectly-normal

↓

Nobody is killing themselves.

killing nobody

↓

We tried to tell ATF people but they shot at us...

shot tried

↓

Anything else?

↓

Tell 'em not to burn us down.

burn

↓

Oh yeah, don't burn us, please.

burn

↓

Jill Monroe, GFN news.

jill news

↓

Now, what do we do?

↓

Now we find a way to get this tape out to the re a I reporters.

reporters tape

↓

Hey, I'm a real reporter!

real reporter

↓

You're right, you are, Dougie.

dougie

↓

You did an awesome job.

awesome

↓

Attention cult people, do not commit mass suicide.

attention commit commit-mass commit-mass-suicide cult mass mass-suicide suicide

↓

There are so many reasons not to kill yourselves.

kill reasons yourselves

↓

Flowers, for instance.

flowers instance

↓

And back rubs.

rubs

↓

Alright, I'm through trying to reason with them!

alright reason

↓

Send in the negotiator!

send

↓

Uh, excuse me, but what proof do you have

excuse proof

↓

that those people inside are religious fanatics?

religious

↓

We know what we're doing!

↓

We did this all before in Waco!

↓

Yes, but you totally screwed up Waco.

screwed

↓

You killed a bunch of innocent people

bunch innocent killed

↓

and then tried to say they killed themselves.

killed tried

↓

Look, you see this?

↓

You see this?

↓

Yes.

↓

You see it, you see it?

↓

Go get it!

↓

Go get it!

↓

Alright, let's get ready to kick some religious-fanatic-ass!

alright kick ready religious

↓

Having a good time?

having

↓

Yeah, swell.

swell

↓

Could I just... have a few minutes alone?

alone minutes minutes-alone

↓

I'm not gonna let you change on me, Randy.

change randy

↓

Just because we shared an intimate moment in the hot tub--

intimate moment shared

↓

We did not share an intimate moment, okay?

intimate moment share

↓

That makes it sound gay.

makes sound

↓

Goodnight, everyone.

goodnight

↓

Look out!

↓

Hold your fire!

fire

↓

Okay...

↓

People at the door, that was a warning.

door warning

↓

Go back inside and tell the others

others

↓

that they now have one minute to surrender.

minute surrender

↓

Oh no, we're out of time!

↓

Are you sure you can do this, Butters?

butters

↓

No, I'm not sure, I'm not sure at all, what am I doing again?

↓

We're just gonna slide you down this rope,

rope slide

↓

and then you gotta get our exclusive video

exclusive video

↓

to that reporter down there.

reporter

↓

That sounds awful dangerous.

awful dangerous sounds

↓

Can you hit a target, Pip?

target

↓

I was Archery Class Esquire in Stratfordshire!

class

↓

Hit something nice and solid, now.

solid

↓

I think that's got it!

↓

Nice job, Pip!

↓

Did I do a nice job, really?

↓

Alright, Butters, now it's your turn.

alright butters

↓

I don't know about this, I think I'll reconsider.

reconsider

↓

Yup, I think reconsidering is the thing to do right now...

↓

Whoaa!

↓

Whooooa!

↓

He made it down!

↓

Alright, people, prepare to fire on my command!

alright command fire prepare

↓

Mr. Reporter, sir!

reporter

↓

Huh?

↓

We've got an eyewitness exclusive video for you, sir.

exclusive eyewitness video

↓

Honey...

honey

↓

God, everybody's looking at me.

everybodys looking

↓

Everybody knows!

everybody everybody-knows knows

↓

Everybody doesn't know.

everybody

↓

And why are you so ashamed of me?

ashamed

↓

What's happened to you?!

happened

↓

You've become all needy and talkative and--

become needy

↓

I just want to know it meant something to you.

meant

↓

It didn't mean anything to me, Jerry!!

jerry

↓

All we did was watch each other masturbate in the hot tub!!

masturbate watch

↓

Aw, I was just in the hot tub!!

↓

Yeah, yeah! it's true.

↓

I thought it would be exciting and maybe it was,

exciting

↓

but I can't deal with your accusing stares!!

accusing deal

↓

We watched each other jack off in the hot tub!!

jack watched

↓

There, we did it!

↓

I'm not proud of it, but there it is!!

proud

↓

Well, it's not like you're the only guy

↓

who's ever watched another guy masturbate.

another masturbate watched

↓

I've done it.

↓

Me too.

↓

Yeah, I've done that a few times.

times

↓

Yup...

↓

Me too...

↓

Uh-huh, yep.

↓

Aw hell, I've done it, too...

↓

With Cameron, here.

cameron

↓

Juanita could you fix some more dip, Juanita?

↓

You mean it?

↓

I'm not gay?

↓

Well, maybe a little.

↓

But we're all a little gay.

↓

Oh I feel so much better!!

↓

Wow!!

↓

So we're friends again?

friends

↓

You bet we are, Jerry!

jerry

↓

I feel great!!

↓

I feel like I could take on the world!!

world

↓

Everything's gonna be okay!!

everythings

↓

Alright, everyone. Fire!

alright fire

↓

Hold on, just a minute!

minute

↓

This is Derek Smalls reporting.

derek reporting

↓

We have just received an exclusive video

exclusive received video

↓

from inside the house,

house

↓

proving that the people inside are not cultists after all!

proving

↓

Uh-oh...

↓

Uh, attention everyone this has only been a test!

attention test

↓

Good job, men on this,

↓

uh, simulation.

simulation

↓

Simulation?

simulation

↓

All is well, do not shoot at--

shoot

↓

Oh, I believe we saved the day!

believe saved

↓

Oops.

oops

↓

Sir, this isn't gonna look good.

↓

You're right--

↓

Quick, let's get out of here!

quick

↓

Say, that was a fine piece of journalism, boys.

boys piece

↓

Wow, you mean it?

↓

Sure, why with your tape I'll be able to make millions

able millions tape

↓

and further my career beyond my wildest dreams.

beyond career dreams further wildest

↓

Oh, hooray, then!

hooray

↓

Well, angels, I must say I think we did a smashing job!

angels must smashing

↓

We sure did!

↓

Why, we put the fear of God in those ATF sons-of-guns,

fear guns sons

↓

I can tell you.

↓

But you know, I learned something today...

learned today

↓

I used to call you guys melvins.

used

↓

But you're just kids, like me.

kids

↓

We separate you in school, because you talk different,

school separate

↓

or you study too hard...

hard study

↓

But we've proven tonight that we can all get along.

along proven tonight

↓

So you mean we can stay friends, Stan?

friends stan

↓

Wouldn't that be swell, huh?

swell

↓

Dude, am I glad to see you.

glad

↓

You would not believe the night I had.

believe night

↓

You?!

↓

You think you had a bad night?

night

↓

I had to hang out all night with these friggin' melvins!

friggin hang night

↓

Oh, dude, weak.

weak

↓

Super weak.

super weak

↓

Come on, I'll tell you all about what happened to me.

happened