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South Park

Season 3, Episode 6 — Sexual Harassment Panda

TMDB episode metadata
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I have to write on the chalkboard with this rusty nail.
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Anyway, children, in the sentence "the ball is red"
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Aaaghhhh!!
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Kids?
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Are you tired of being harassed at school?
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Sick of being called a "homo"?
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A "farty pants"?
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A "butt...
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...face"?
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Then call me, Kyle's dad, and I'll help you
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close the lid on sexual harassment in school!
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After a boy in my class tried to put his tongue in my mouth,
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I knew I needed legal help...
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Kyle's dad helped me get a 1.6 million dollar settlement
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and this bright, new, shiny bicycle!
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Thank you, Kyle's dad!
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Kyle's dad got me 1.4 million and he can do it for you, too!
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Just look at all these beautiful girls!
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So call me, Kyle's dad!
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Because it's not about money, it's about--
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wait, what am I saying, call me!
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♪ Kids picking on you ♪
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♪ Well, don't be sad ♪
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♪ Just sue their asses ♪
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♪ With Kyle's dad ♪
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Alright, what other cuts do we have to make
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to the school budget?
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Uh, next we have Tom Morris,
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Oh, right.
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We certainly can't afford him anymore.
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I warn you, Mr. Evans, Tom Morris takes his job a little seriously.
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Hello sexual harassment cubs!
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♪ Who lives in the east 'neath a willer tree? ♪
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Uh, have a seat, Mr. Morris.
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Who?
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Oh, alright!
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Mr. Morris, we at the school board have been thinking,
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And we've decided that perhaps a panda
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isn't the best way to explain sexual harassment to children.
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You see, Mr. Morris, we believe that a panda
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doesn't really have anything to do with sexual harassment...
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at all.
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I'm afraid we're just going to have to let you go.
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I'm a saaaaaaad panda.
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Eric Cartman, it is the judgement of this court