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South Park

Season 3, Episode 3 — The Succubus

TMDB episode metadata
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Okay.
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1 or 2? 1 or 2?
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Uh, 1.
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1 or 2? 1 or 2?
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2!
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No! The answer is 1, piggy, 1!
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Ooww, I hate you!
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Yes, there's obviously a problem with your eyes.
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I'm going to have to dilate them and run some tests.
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I wonder how come Cartman's not in school today?
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Yeah, usually when he ditches school he still shows up for lunch!
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Ha ha ha!
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Yeah, oh, here he comes!
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Hey, dudes.
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Wow, what happened to your eyes, Cartman?
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My asshole eye doctor made them all diabated.
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Why?
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Why? I'll tell you why,
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because he's a goddamn asshole,
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and that's about it!
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Why do you have to see an eye doctor?
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Because my eyes suck.
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But that doctor likes to torture me and I have to go back tomorrow.
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I don't know what I'm gonna do!
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Dude, just ask Chef for help, he always knows what to do.
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Hey yeah.
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Oww!
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Hey Chef!
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Hello there, children!
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Dudes, now my eyes are screwed up.
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Chef looks like a skinny little white guy!
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It's time for luncharoo!
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Where's Chef?
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Chef quit!
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What!
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Chef is gone, so let me introduce myself...
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I'm your new cook, Mr. Derp!
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Mr. Derp?
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When I'm in the kitchen,
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you never know what nutty things are gonna happen.
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If you liked Chef, you're gonna love Mr. Derp!
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Ooh-derp!
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Derp!
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Wasn't that silly kids?
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Ha ha ha!
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Why did Chef quit?
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Aren't I a great character?
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My antics go right to the funnybone!