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Home » South Park » S02E17 — Gnomes

South Park

Season 2, Episode 17 — Gnomes

TMDB episode metadata

Show: South Park

Episode title: Gnomes

Air date: December 16, 1998

Director: Trey Parker

Top billed cast: Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Isaac Hayes, Mary Kay Bergman, Jennifer Howell

Harbucks coffee plans to move into South Park and drive Tweek coffee shop out of business. Mr. Garrison assigns a report on current events to help him keep his job. The boys are planning on doing their report on the underpants gnomes. Tweek's father schemes to use the boy's report as a platform for fighting Harbucks. The report the boys deliver sparks the town into taking action.

Source: TMDB

↓

♪ I'm going down to South Park ♪

park south south-park

↓

♪ Gonna have myself a time ♪

↓

♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪

faces friendly friendly-faces

↓

♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪

folks humble humble-folks temptation

↓

♪ Going down to South Park ♪

park south south-park

↓

♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪

behind woes woes-behind

↓

♪ Ample parking day or night ♪

ample ample-parking night parking

↓

♪ People spouting "howdy, neighbor"! ♪

howdy howdy-neighbor neighbor spouting spouting-howdy spouting-howdy-neighbor

↓

♪ Headed on up to South Park ♪

headed park south south-park

↓

♪ Gonna see if I can't unwind ♪

unwind

↓

♪ Come on down to South Park ♪

park south south-park

↓

♪ And meet some friends of mine ♪

friends meet

↓

Settle down, children.

children settle

↓

I have some difficult news.

difficult news

↓

This is going to make you all very sad.

↓

The school board is considering firing me as your teacher.

board considering firing school school-board teacher

↓

There's a possibility that I'll be let go

possibility

↓

and never allowed to teach you again.

allowed teach

↓

Yes, Stanley? - That's okay with us.

stanley

↓

Yeah. - Yeah, we don't care.

care

↓

No, it isn't, it makes you very sad!

makes

↓

Now, apparently, the school board thinks

apparently board school school-board thinks

↓

that I don't teach you anything about current events,

current events teach

↓

so tomorrow they're gonna have you do presentations

tomorrow

↓

for the whole board.

board whole

↓

"Current events in South Park."

current events park south south-park

↓

Now, I want you all to read a newspaper,

newspaper read

↓

or, better yet, watch television,

television watch

↓

and come up with something current in South Park

current park south south-park

↓

to do a report on.

report

↓

Now, this will be a group project,

group project

↓

so I'm gonna place you all into groups of five.

five groups place

↓

Let's see...

↓

Wendy, Bebe, Clyde,

bebe clyde wendy

↓

Pip, and Token, you'll be group one.

group token

↓

And group two will be Stan, Kyle, Eric, Kenny, and...

eric group kenny kyle stan stan-kyle

↓

and Tweek.

tweek

↓

Ah! - Oh, not Tweek.

tweek

↓

We don't want to be in a group with Tweek.

group tweek

↓

There's nothing wrong with Tweek.

tweek

↓

I bet he'll do a great job in your group.

group

↓

I can't take that kind of pressure!

pressure

↓

No, sweet Jesus, please!

jesus sweet sweet-jesus

↓

Dude, we can't work with this kid.

↓

That's what Chad Everett thought

chad everett

↓

when the new female intern joined

female intern joined

↓

the cast of "Medical Center."

cast center medical

↓

He thought, "Who is this woman

woman

↓

with her gazungas and high heels?

heels

↓

What does she know about medicine?"

medicine

↓

Well, that intern soon saved Chad Everett's brother

brother chad intern saved

↓

with a kidney transplant, so you see?

kidney transplant

↓

No.

↓

- Well, let me put it another way.

another

↓

You have to give your oral report

oral report

↓

to the entire South Park town committee tomorrow,

committee entire park south south-park tomorrow town

↓

and if it doesn't kick ass and you make me look bad,

kick

↓

Mr. Hat is gonna smack you bitches up.

bitches smack

↓

Wah!

↓

Hello there, customer. - Hello, how are you today?

customer today

↓

Great, what can I get for you?

↓

Large coffee? Small coffee?

coffee

↓

I'm actually interested in something else.

interested

↓

I'm John Postum

john postum

↓

from the Harbucks Coffee corporation.

coffee corporation harbucks harbucks-coffee

↓

Oh, you're that corporate guy who's been calling.

calling corporate

↓

That's right.

↓

How come you don't call me back?

↓

All we want to do is buy out your coffee shop here.

coffee coffee-shop shop

↓

Oh, forget it, my store is not for sale.

forget sale store

↓

My company is prepared to make you a very generous offer.

company generous generous-offer offer prepared

↓

This is a Cramsonite briefcase. All leather.

briefcase leather

↓

It has four compartments and a keyless lock.

four lock

↓

Interested?

interested

↓

I don't think so.

↓

My coffee shop is worth a lot to me.

coffee coffee-shop shop worth

↓

All right, how about $500,000?

↓

The answer is still no, Mr. Postum.

answer postum

↓

You see, when my father opened this store 30 years ago,

father opened store years

↓

he cared about only one thing--

cared

↓

making a great cup of coffee.

coffee

↓

Sure, we may take a little longer to brew a cup,

brew longer

↓

and we may not call it fancy names,

fancy names

↓

but I guess we just care a little more.

care

↓

And that's why Tweek coffee is still homebrewed

coffee tweek

↓

from the finest beans we can muster.

beans finest muster

↓

Yes, Tweek coffee is a simpler coffee,

coffee simpler tweek

↓

for a simpler America.

america simpler

↓

Well, that's too bad.

↓

We're just gonna have to open our Harbucks

harbucks open

↓

right next door to you.

door

↓

But that could put me out of business.

business

↓

Hey, this is a capitalist country, pal.

capitalist country

↓

Get used to it.

used

↓

Hello, Mr. Tweek.

tweek

↓

- Hi, Officer Barbrady. - Who was that?

barbrady officer officer-barbrady

↓

Oh, just some dong. What can I get for you?

dong

↓

The usual.

usual

↓

Oh!

↓

Thanks, see you tomorrow.

thanks tomorrow

↓

Bye-bye.

↓

Okay, we have to do this stupid report, so--

report stupid

↓

Ah!

↓

So let's figure out what to do it about.

figure

↓

How about we do it on that Raymond guy on TV?

raymond

↓

You know, everybody loves Raymond.

everybody everybody-loves loves raymond

↓

No, Cartman, we can't do it on Raymond again!

cartman raymond

↓

It has to be on a current event in South Park.

current event park south south-park

↓

Tweek, do you have any ideas?

ideas tweek

↓

Ah! Too much pressure!

pressure

↓

Great. A lot of help you are, kid.

↓

The gnomes! - What?

gnomes

↓

We can do our report on the gnomes.

gnomes report

↓

What gnomes?

gnomes

↓

The underpants gnomes, the little guys that...

gnomes underpants underpants-gnomes

↓

that come in your room late, late at night,

late night room

↓

and steal your underpants.

steal underpants

↓

Oh, so that's where all my underpants go!

underpants

↓

- Dude, that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.

dumbest heard

↓

- Yeah, I've never seen any underpants gnomes.

gnomes seen underpants underpants-gnomes

↓

- They come out at 3:30 in the morning.

morning

↓

Most people aren't up then, but I am.

↓

I can't sleep... ever.

sleep

↓

- We can't do a presentation on underpants gnomes.

gnomes presentation underpants underpants-gnomes

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Mr. Garrison will fail us because you're making it up.

fail garrison

↓

- No, sleep at my house tonight!

house house-tonight sleep tonight

↓

I'll prove it to you.

prove

↓

They want me to sell the store,

sell store

↓

and it's so much money.

money

↓

Some things are more important than money.

money

↓

The people of South Park count on you

count park south south-park

↓

to give them that first cup of coffee every day.

coffee

↓

I know, but if they open a Harbucks right next

harbucks open

↓

door, we might go out of business.

business door might

↓

They really have my balls in a vice grip.

balls grip vice

↓

Oh, hello, son. How was your day?

↓

Ah! - That's good.

↓

Who are your little friends?

friends

↓

What do you mean?

↓

We're his oral report buddies.

buddies oral report

↓

Yeah, we have to stay up all night to write it.

night write

↓

Well, have some coffee, boys.

boys coffee

↓

I'll brew up another pot for later.

another brew

↓

Coffee? I don't think I like coffee.

coffee

↓

Oh, you'll like this coffee. It's fresh.

coffee fresh

↓

Country fresh,

country fresh

↓

like the morning after a rainstorm.

morning

↓

Kay... maybe it'll help us figure out

figure itll

↓

what to do our report on.

report

↓

We have to present it to the entire

entire present

↓

South Park town committee tomorrow.

committee park south south-park tomorrow town

↓

- Oh, I've got one for you.

↓

How about doing a report on how large corporations

corporations report

↓

take over little family-owned businesses?

businesses family owned

↓

Richard! - No, I'm serious, hon.

richard serious

↓

These boys should learn

boys learn

↓

how the corporate machine is ruining America.

america corporate machine ruining

↓

You see, I own a coffee shop, and now

coffee coffee-shop shop

↓

a great big multimillion-dollar company

company dollar

↓

is going to move in

↓

and try to take all my business,

business

↓

which means I may have to shut down

↓

and sell my son Tweek into slavery.

sell slavery tweek

↓

Ah! Slavery?

slavery

↓

Yes, slavery. - Wow, that sucks, dude.

slavery sucks

↓

They really have my balls in a salad shooter.

balls salad shooter

↓

We're already doing a paper on Tweek's underpants gnomes.

gnomes paper tweeks underpants underpants-gnomes

↓

Yeah. - Now, Tweek.

tweek

↓

How many times do we have to tell you?

times

↓

Your underpants are missing because you lose them,

lose missing underpants

↓

not because of underpants gnomes.

gnomes underpants underpants-gnomes

↓

Ah! - Come on, you guys.

↓

We better get to work!

↓

Okay, but corporate takeovers is a much more fertile subject.

corporate corporate-takeovers fertile subject takeovers

↓

Honestly, Richard,

richard

↓

I don't see why you have to preach to some eight-year-olds.

eight olds preach

↓

Actually, honey,

honey

↓

I think those little tykes are just what we need.

↓

I've got an idea.

idea

↓

Man, this stuff is strong. - It's kind of bitter.

bitter strong stuff

↓

What if my parents go out of business?

business parents

↓

What'll I do? - Don't worry about it.

whatll worry

↓

But we'll starve and die like dogs!

dogs starve

↓

Tweek, Tweek, you can always go on welfare.

tweek welfare

↓

Look at Kenny's family.

family kennys kennys-family

↓

They're perfectly happy being poor

happy perfectly poor

↓

and on welfare, right, Kenny?

kenny welfare

↓

You suck, Kenny.

kenny suck

↓

Well, let's just try to finish all this coffee

coffee finish

↓

so we can stay up.

↓

Whoo-hoo!

whoo

↓

- Yes! This stuff rocks!

rocks stuff

↓

Totally, dude! I feel awesome!

awesome

↓

Whoopee!

whoopee

↓

You guys! You guys! Seriously!

↓

Check me out! I'm a sorcerer!

check

↓

Check it out, guys!

check

↓

Hey, Tweek, do you have any more of this stuff?

stuff tweek

↓

We just have grounds. - Killer!

grounds killer

↓

Hey, let me have some grounds!

grounds

↓

Gross, Cartman! Whoopee!

cartman gross whoopee

↓

Oh, my stomach hurts.

hurts stomach stomach-hurts

↓

Yeah, mine too. I wonder why.

wonder

↓

Well, it's 3:30, and I don't see

↓

any Goddamn underpants gnomes, Tweek.

gnomes goddamn tweek underpants underpants-gnomes

↓

Ah! Maybe it was all in my head!

head

↓

Maybe I'm going insane!

insane

↓

Oh, no, I'm going insane!

insane

↓

Well, this is just great.

↓

We haven't gotten anything done,

gotten

↓

and we're totally screwed.

screwed

↓

How's the report going, boys? - Bad.

boys report

↓

Oh, do you need some more coffee?

coffee

↓

No... more... coffee.

coffee

↓

Well, boys, I don't mean to pry, but,

boys

↓

if you want it, I wrote your report for you.

report wrote

↓

You did?!

↓

Yes, it's all about corporate takeovers.

corporate corporate-takeovers takeovers

↓

Of course, you don't have to use it.

course

↓

No, we'll use it!

↓

All right, and it can be our little secret

secret

↓

about who wrote it, right?

wrote

↓

Sure!

↓

Now, when you give the report,

report

↓

just make sure that you read this part first, all right?

part read

↓

There they are.

↓

And then someone should do

↓

the second part and really, really play it up.

part second

↓

Really, really play the sympathy angle.

angle sympathy

↓

They'll like that.

↓

You'll probably get a passing grade for that.

grade passing

↓

You guys, look, look, you're missing it!

missing

↓

♪ We won't stop until we have underpants ♪

underpants

↓

Ah, they took 'em again! - Thanks, dude!

thanks

↓

My pleasure. Good night, boys.

boys night pleasure

↓

Wow, Tweek, your dad rocks.

rocks tweek

↓

Why do they torture me like this?!

torture

↓

Why can't they leave me alone?!

alone

↓

Damn it, what the hell is wrong with you, Tweek?

tweek

↓

They took my underpants again.

underpants

↓

Soon they'll want my blood... blood!

blood blood-blood

↓

"And as the voluminous corporate automaton

corporate

↓

bulldozes its way through bantam America..."

america

↓

"What will become

become

↓

of the endeavoring American family?"

american family

↓

I don't think they wrote this, Mr. Hat.

wrote

↓

"Perhaps there is no stopping the corporate machine."

corporate machine perhaps stopping

↓

Ah!

↓

- And that's our report. I guess.

report

↓

Well, boys, it's obvious that you didn't even--

boys obvious

↓

Great job! - Yes, great job.

↓

Boys, you have really opened our eyes.

boys eyes opened

↓

We didn't even know this was happening.

↓

Neither did we.

↓

Well, Mr. Garrison, it looks like

garrison

↓

we were wrong about you.

↓

You really are teaching these kids something.

kids teaching

↓

Yeah, well, I don't want to sound

sound

↓

like a dick hole, but I told you so.

dick dick-hole hole

↓

I am really moved.

moved

↓

I say we follow these boys' cause.

boys follow

↓

Let's join them in the fight against corporate takeovers!

corporate corporate-takeovers fight join takeovers

↓

Lead the way, boys!

boys lead

↓

Huh? - Ah, too much pressure!

pressure

↓

- Good! Good!

↓

Now, make sure that sign is really bright and flashy, now!

bright flashy sign

↓

- My goodness, that's going to be a huge coffeehouse, honey.

goodness honey huge

↓

- Yes, it is.

↓

They really have my balls in a juicemaker.

balls

↓

Oh, hello, son. Uh, how did your report go?

report

↓

Wah! - I think it went really good.

↓

Those people really got into it.

↓

Really?

↓

Well, son, you might have just saved the family business.

business family might saved

↓

What do you have to say about that?

↓

I need coffee! - I know how you boys feel.

boys coffee

↓

Sometimes a hot cup of French roast amaretto

french roast sometimes

↓

is just what a man needs to get him through the day.

needs

↓

That smooth aroma and mild taste

aroma mild smooth taste

↓

is what makes Tweek coffee so very special,

coffee makes special tweek

↓

special like an Arizona sunrise or a juniper wet with dew,

arizona special sunrise

↓

a light rain in the middle of a dusty afternoon

afternoon dusty light middle rain

↓

or a hug from your dear old auntie--

dear

↓

Dad! - What?

↓

The metaphors, man. - Oh, sorry.

metaphors

↓

Here you go.

↓

Hey, do you ever think maybe you shouldn't

↓

give your son coffee?

coffee

↓

Like how do you mean?

↓

Like look at him.

↓

He's always shaking and nervous.

nervous shaking

↓

Oh, that.

↓

He has ADD, attention deficit disorder.

attention disorder

↓

That's why he's so jittery all the time.

jittery

↓

Mr. Tweek.

tweek

↓

We've only just heard.

heard

↓

Oh, hello, committee members. What a surprise.

committee members surprise

↓

So this is the corporate bulldozer

bulldozer corporate

↓

trying to push you off the map?

push

↓

Yes, how did you hear?

↓

These boys did an excellent report for us this morning.

boys excellent morning report

↓

They're so upset by this whole thing.

upset whole

↓

My butt hurts. - Don't worry, Mr. Tweek.

butt hurts tweek worry

↓

This committee is not going to let you

committee

↓

be run out of business by these bastards!

bastards business

↓

You hear that?!

↓

You're not gonna get away with this, you whore!

whore

↓

Excuse me?

excuse

↓

Boys, we've talked it over,

boys talked

↓

and we want you to take your case to the mayor.

case mayor

↓

Our case? - Ah! No way, man!

case

↓

That is way too much pressure!

pressure

↓

Oh, you'll do fine, son.

↓

Come on, boys, let's go!

boys

↓

- Aw, man, this sucks!

sucks

↓

- Ah!

↓

And we would have never even known that this was happening

known

↓

if not for these boys' excellent report.

boys excellent report

↓

You're telling me that students

students telling

↓

from Mr. Garrison's class actually did something

class

↓

that had some kind of relevance to the world?

world

↓

That's right.

↓

Mr. Garrison, the guy with the puppet?

garrison puppet

↓

Yes.

↓

Well, I must say, Garrison,

garrison must

↓

perhaps you're not as stupid and crazy

crazy perhaps stupid

↓

as I always tell people you are.

↓

Thank you, Mayor.

mayor

↓

I don't want to sound like a dick hole, but I--

dick dick-hole hole sound

↓

Mayor, these boys want

boys mayor

↓

that Harbucks Coffee shut down right now!

coffee harbucks harbucks-coffee

↓

Yeah! - Yeah!

↓

- Well, I can't just shut them down.

↓

This is a free country.

country free

↓

- But they're ruining our city!

city ruining

↓

- Look, the best I can do is create a proposition.

best create proposition

↓

We'll call it Prop 10.

prop

↓

The town can vote on it, and if it passes,

passes town vote

↓

we'll see what we can do.

↓

Hooray!

hooray

↓

- What do you say, boys?

boys

↓

We're gonna pass a law!

pass

↓

Uh... hooray.

hooray

↓

So I guess you want to do some campaigning.

↓

You can do commercials and things like that,

commercials

↓

and then we'll have a vote in the middle of town,

middle town vote

↓

and obviously if more than 50% of the people...

obviously

↓

Ah!

↓

...And want Harbucks out, then they're out.

harbucks

↓

So good luck to you.

luck

↓

Didn't you see them?

↓

All right, what's next?

↓

Next is Issue 37D, missing underpants.

issue missing underpants

↓

Is it cold in here?

cold

↓

Oh, boys, could I have a quick this-and-that with you?

boys quick

↓

Boys, I don't know who wrote that report,

boys report wrote

↓

but now that you've convinced everybody,

convinced everybody

↓

you better stick with it,

stick

↓

'cause if these people find out

↓

you didn't really write that paper

paper write

↓

and I actually do get fired,

fired

↓

then Mr. Hat is gonna do horrible things to you.

horrible

↓

Oh, not that, Mr. Hat!

↓

That's really horrible!

horrible

↓

Anyway, good luck passing your new law, boys.

boys luck passing

↓

Jesus, man, Jesus! What are we gonna do, huh?

jesus

↓

- Live! It's the South Park town hall meeting

hall live meeting park south south-park town

↓

on public access!

access public public-access

↓

Tonight's topic, Prop 10!

prop tonights topic

↓

Should Harbucks be allowed to open a store in South Park?

allowed harbucks open park south south-park store

↓

That's tonight's topic.

tonights topic

↓

On my left,

left

↓

five innocent, starry-eyed boys

boys eyed five innocent starry

↓

from Middle America.

america middle middle-america

↓

On my right, a big fat smelly corporate guy from New York.

corporate smelly york

↓

Hey, I'm not fat or smelly!

smelly

↓

All right, Mr. Douchebag.

douchebag

↓

Postum! - Oh, pardon me, Mr. Ass Face.

face pardon postum

↓

Anyway, let's hear your side of the argument.

argument side

↓

My argument is simple.

argument simple

↓

This country is founded on free enterprise.

country enterprise founded free

↓

Harbucks is an organization that...

harbucks organization

↓

An organization that prides itself

organization

↓

on great coffee!

coffee

↓

We simply want-- ah, to hell with you!

simply

↓

Okay, Uck-Up-Fay,

↓

Now, for the other side of the argument,

argument side

↓

we turn to our young, handsome lads.

handsome lads young

↓

Boys, your thoughts?

boys thoughts

↓

Come on, boys, don't be shy.

boys

↓

What's your principal argument?

argument principal

↓

Uh... - Uh...

↓

This guy sucks ass!

sucks

↓

Great argument! You win, boys!

argument boys

↓

What?!

↓

That was close, Mr. Hat.

close

↓

What is the future of America?

america future

↓

Is it the money we make?

money

↓

The quests we conquer?

conquer

↓

No. It's children.

children

↓

So what do children have to say about Prop 10?

children prop

↓

I don't like big corporations.

corporations

↓

I like small businesses.

businesses

↓

I believe in the family-owned enterprise.

believe enterprise family owned

↓

- Ah!

↓

It's time to stop large corporations.

corporations

↓

Prop 10 is about children.

children prop

↓

Vote yes on Prop 10, or else you hate children.

children hate hate-children prop vote

↓

You don't hate children... do you?

children hate hate-children

↓

Remember, keep American business small,

american business remember

↓

or else.

↓

Paid for by Citizens for a Fair

citizens fair paid

↓

and Equal Way to Get Harbucks Coffee

coffee equal harbucks harbucks-coffee

↓

Kicked Out of Town Forever.

forever kicked town

↓

- Well? What do you think?

↓

Wow, it's great!

↓

Yes, it is!

↓

We'll put it on the air immediately!

immediately

↓

What do you think, hon?

↓

Hon? What's the matter?

matter

↓

I have a big problem with this.

problem

↓

What do you mean?

↓

We're just using those boys for our benefit.

benefit boys using

↓

They have no idea what they're saying.

idea

↓

- But kids are great to get people on our side.

kids side

↓

You don't just throw a child in a political commercial

child commercial political throw

↓

to sell your beliefs.

beliefs sell

↓

I won't be a part of this anymore.

anymore part

↓

Honey, all's fair in love and war.

alls fair honey love

↓

And coffee.

coffee

↓

Hon? Hon?

↓

Take your corporate coffee

coffee corporate

↓

and go back to New York City!

city york york-city

↓

It's people like you

↓

who are ruining Main Street, USA!

main ruining street

↓

How many Native Americans did you slaughter

americans native slaughter

↓

to make that coffee, huh?

coffee

↓

Damn, these people aren't buying any coffee.

buying coffee

↓

I'll have to try and appeal to the younger crowd.

appeal crowd younger

↓

Hey, kids, I'm Camel Joe,

camel kids

↓

and I love a fresh cup of coffee.

coffee fresh love

↓

It's yum-diddly-iscious.

diddly

↓

And it makes you feel super!

makes super

↓

I have a surprise for you.

surprise

↓

The new kiddie-cino from Harbucks!

harbucks kiddie

↓

More sugar and all the other goodies kids like

goodies kids sugar

↓

with all the caffeine of a normal double latte.

double latte normal

↓

No, Billy, no coffee for you.

billy coffee

↓

You should be ashamed of yourself.

ashamed

↓

Using cartoons to push caffeine on children!

cartoons children push using

↓

Why don't you go back to the hole

hole

↓

you crawled out from, lady?

crawled lady

↓

Uh, Mr. Postum, I'm afraid you've got

afraid postum

↓

a lot to learn about making coffee.

coffee learn

↓

Oh, and you don't?

↓

Your coffee tastes like three-day-old moldy diarrhea.

coffee diarrhea tastes three

↓

I'm sorry to inform you that this town

inform town

↓

is having a vote tomorrow, and if the law passes,

having passes tomorrow vote

↓

you're gonna be thrown out of town.

thrown town

↓

What?!

↓

At 5:00, the best coffee wins:

best coffee wins

↓

either your coffee

coffee

↓

or a fresh warm cup of Tweek's coffee.

coffee fresh tweeks warm

↓

Like an old sweater that keeps getting warmer with age,

keeps sweater

↓

you can count on Tweek's coffee to start your day.

coffee count start tweeks

↓

Tomorrow for the Prop 10 vote,

prop tomorrow vote

↓

we'll set up ballot booths... here.

↓

All right, and then we'll throw up the stage here.

stage throw

↓

Before the vote,

vote

↓

we'll get a band everyone likes,

band likes

↓

like, uh, like...

↓

Toto. - Like Toto.

toto

↓

And then the Harbucks guy will have

harbucks

↓

five minutes to speak, and the boys will have

boys five five-minutes minutes speak

↓

five minutes to speak, and then the town votes!

five five-minutes minutes speak town votes

↓

- Uh, boys, you better get your asses to work.

asses boys

↓

What now?

↓

They're expecting you to give a big speech

expecting speech

↓

on corporate takeovers,

corporate corporate-takeovers takeovers

↓

and this time it has to last five minutes.

five five-minutes minutes

↓

Oh, God! When is this gonna end?

↓

Your dad really screwed us, Tweek.

screwed tweek

↓

Jesus, dude! I'm to blame for all this!

blame jesus

↓

I'm to blame for everything!

blame

↓

So what are we gonna say?

↓

Why can't we just read the paper we wrote last time?

paper read wrote

↓

'Cause then they'll know we didn't write it, dummy!

dummy write

↓

We have to be original.

original

↓

- Does anybody know anything about corporations?

anybody corporations

↓

♪ Search for underpants, hey ♪

search underpants

↓

I think my mom is a corporation.

corporation

↓

Yeah, that makes sense.

makes makes-sense sense

↓

You guys! Shh!

↓

Well, how about we just say, corporate should be stopped.

corporate stopped

↓

How do we stretch that into five minutes?

five five-minutes minutes stretch

↓

They're taking my underpants!

underpants

↓

- Will you stop with the underpants gnomes, Tweek?

gnomes tweek underpants underpants-gnomes

↓

We have to work here!

↓

Ah!

↓

What the hell?

↓

Well, I'll be damned.

damned

↓

That's my last pair of underpants!

pair underpants

↓

Shh, don't scare him.

scare

↓

Hey there, little guy.

↓

Bad!

↓

Cartman! - What?

cartman

↓

Why do you always have to hit stuff with a stick?

stick stuff

↓

Well, look at him, he's all, you know... look at him.

↓

Is that all you got, pussy?

pussy

↓

What? - Hey, he talked.

talked

↓

Yeah, he called me a pussy.

called pussy

↓

I'm not a pussy! You're a pussy!

pussy

↓

You're a pussy, pussy!

pussy

↓

Dude, why are you taking Tweek's underpants?

tweeks underpants

↓

Yeah, look what you're doing to this poor kid.

poor

↓

Stealing underpants, big business!

business stealing underpants

↓

Business? Wait, do you know anything about business?

business

↓

Sure, that's what gnomes do!

gnomes

↓

Show us! - Okay, follow me!

follow

↓

Little pussy gnome. Don't call me a pussy.

gnome pussy

↓

Pussy gnome.

gnome pussy

↓

- Not much longer now!

longer

↓

Are you taking us to your little pussy house?

house pussy

↓

No, pussy, I'm taking you to my village.

pussy village

↓

Oh, your pussy village?

pussy village

↓

Cartman, will you just shut up

cartman

↓

and let him show us?

↓

Follow me!

follow

↓

I hope we're not wasting our time

hope wasting

↓

with this little pecker.

pecker

↓

- Well, it looks like Harbucks will never make it

harbucks

↓

in this town.

town

↓

All right, boys, that's it!

boys

↓

Pack it up! We're moving out of town!

moving pack town

↓

- Aw, but we just finished!

finished

↓

- I know, but these folks obviously don't want us here.

folks obviously

↓

- But what will become of us?

become

↓

- Oh, quit being so melodramatic, Sanchez.

melodramatic quit sanchez

↓

Jesus Christ.

christ jesus jesus-christ

↓

- Damn, dude, this place is huge.

huge place

↓

- Yeah, it's almost as big as Cartman's ass.

cartmans

↓

- No, it isn't, you guys.

↓

- This is where all our work is done.

↓

- So what are you gonna do

↓

with all these underpants you steal?

steal underpants

↓

Collecting underpants is just phase one.

collecting phase underpants

↓

Phase one, collect underpants.

collect phase underpants

↓

So what's phase two?

phase

↓

Hey, what's phase two?

phase

↓

Phase one, we collect underpants.

collect phase underpants

↓

Yeah, yeah, yeah, but what about phase two?

phase

↓

Well, phase three is profit! Get it?

phase profit three

↓

I don't get it.

↓

You see, phase one, collect underpants.

collect phase underpants

↓

Phase two...

phase

↓

Phase three, profit!

phase profit three

↓

Oh, I get it.

↓

No you don't, fat-ass!

↓

Do you guys know anything about corporations?

corporations

↓

You bet we do!

↓

Us gnomes are geniuses at corporations!

corporations geniuses gnomes

↓

Jesus Christ, look out!

christ jesus jesus-christ

↓

Oh, my God, they killed Kenny.

kenny killed killed-kenny

↓

You bastards. Listen.

bastards

↓

We have to give a huge speech tomorrow

huge speech tomorrow

↓

about corporate takeovers.

corporate corporate-takeovers takeovers

↓

Holy shit! We killed your friend!

friend holy killed

↓

Yeah, yeah, yeah, look, we gotta know

↓

about corporate takeovers tomorrow, or we're screwed.

corporate corporate-takeovers screwed takeovers tomorrow

↓

Christ! We squished him like a bug!

christ

↓

- Do you know anything about corporate takeovers?

corporate corporate-takeovers takeovers

↓

Well, we can explain that to you easily.

easily explain

↓

Yes, for a price. - What?

price

↓

You know. - Underpants?

underpants

↓

Underpants!

underpants

↓

Toto, ladies and gentlemen!

gentlemen ladies toto

↓

Yeah, Toto! Whoo, Toto! Whoo!

toto whoo

↓

All right, and now,

↓

before we all vote yes on Prop 10,

prop vote

↓

here to remind us why

remind

↓

are the lovable, innocent children.

children innocent lovable

↓

- Since we are so concerned with the corporate takeovers,

concerned corporate corporate-takeovers takeovers

↓

we went and asked our friends the underpants gnomes,

asked friends gnomes underpants underpants-gnomes

↓

and they told us all about big corporations.

corporations

↓

Underpants gnomes? - Big corporations are good!

corporations gnomes underpants underpants-gnomes

↓

What? - Good?

↓

Because, without big corporations,

corporations

↓

we wouldn't have things

↓

like cars and computers and canned soup.

canned cars computers soup

↓

Even Harbucks Coffee started off

coffee harbucks harbucks-coffee started

↓

as a small little business,

business

↓

but because it made such great coffee

coffee

↓

and because they ran their business so well,

business

↓

they managed to grow and grow until it became

became grow managed

↓

the corporate powerhouse it is today.

corporate today

↓

And that is why we should all let Harbucks stay!

harbucks

↓

That's not what you said last time!

↓

Uh... well, the truth is,

truth

↓

we didn't write that paper last time.

paper write

↓

You little turd!

turd

↓

You ruined my life for the last time!

life ruined

↓

These boys are absolutely right.

absolutely boys

↓

We've been using these poor kids

kids poor using

↓

to pull at your heartstrings for our cause,

pull

↓

and it's wrong.

↓

We're as low and despicable as Rob Reiner.

↓

You keep protesting and complaining,

complaining protesting

↓

but did any of you ever even bother

bother

↓

to taste Harbucks Coffee?

coffee harbucks harbucks-coffee taste

↓

Harbucks Coffee got to where it is by being the best.

best coffee harbucks harbucks-coffee

↓

Don't you think you should at least try it?

least

↓

Hey! This is pretty damn good!

↓

Yeah, it doesn't have that bland, raw sewage taste

bland sewage taste

↓

that Tweek's coffee has.

coffee tweeks

↓

Hey... hey, that is good.

↓

It's a French roast.

french roast

↓

It's subtle and mild.

mild subtle

↓

Mild like that first splash of sun on an April morning.

april mild morning splash

↓

This coffee is coffee the way it should be.

coffee

↓

Hey, no hard feelings, Tweek.

feelings hard hard-feelings tweek

↓

You know, we still need someone to run

↓

this Harbucks coffeehouse.

harbucks

↓

I'm sure it will make a lot of money.

money

↓

Thank you, Mr. Postum, but I think we'll be fine

postum

↓

with the money we make selling our son into slavery.

money selling slavery

↓

Ah! - Just kidding, son.

kidding

↓

I love you guys.

love

↓

♪ Time to go to work, work all night ♪

night

↓

♪ Search for underpants, hey ♪

search underpants

↓

♪ We won't stop until we have underpants ♪

underpants

↓

♪ Yum-tum, yummy-tum-tay ♪

yummy

↓

♪ Time to go to work, work all night ♪

night

↓

♪ Search for underpants, hey ♪

search underpants

↓

♪ We won't stop until we have underpants ♪

underpants

↓

♪ Yum-tum, yummy-tum-tay ♪

yummy