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South Park

Season 2, Episode 14 — Chef Aid

TMDB episode metadata
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Thanks, Chef.
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I don't understand what my music is missing.
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Look, Elton, you are a great singer,
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but a retarded monkey could write better lyrics.
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I really thought I had it this time
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with "Cheddar Cheese Girl."
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- What you need is a guy
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to write really good lyrics for you.
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I know a guy named Bernie Taupin
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who's working at Moth Burger right now.
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I'll give him a call. - That's a great idea.
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And Elton, why don't you get yourself some new threads?
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You know, some slick glasses and shit.
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And so I got Bernie to write my lyrics.
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And if it wasn't for Chef,
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I would never have had a career in music.
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So will you buy some of our candy bars to help him out?
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Yes, of course. I'll buy three Crispy Yum Yums.
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Three Crispy Yums Yums.
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Hey, Elton, if I give you these lyrics,
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will you write a song for my girlfriend, Wendy?
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Sure, kid, but I would retain exclusive worldwide rights,
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including but not limited to Asian territories
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with a 20% commission on all domestic sales
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and sole ownership of any of all publishing.
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Okay...
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Tell Chef I say hi. - Thanks, dude.
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Dude, we'll have Chef's $2 million in no time.
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I thank you, Chef.
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No problem, Ms. Broflovski.
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Uh...now, about that hundred bucks?
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Of course, here you go.
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Leaving so soon?
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I got a long way to go to raise the kind of money I need.
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Well, best of luck to you then.
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How was it, honey?
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Pretty much what I expected.
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Hello. Are you Meatloaf?
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Yeah. What the hell do you want?
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Mr. Loaf, we are selling candy bars
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for our dying friend. - He's not dying, Cartman.
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Shut your Goddamn mouth.
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We have nougat crunchies, berry bars--
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What's this for? - Our friend Chef.
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Chef's in trouble? - Yeah, do you know him?
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Do I?
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Nobody came again.
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There, there, Cous-Cous, it'll be all right.