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Home » South Park » S02E13 — Cow Days

South Park

Season 2, Episode 13 — Cow Days

TMDB episode metadata

Show: South Park

Episode title: Cow Days

Air date: September 30, 1998

Director: Trey Parker

Top billed cast: Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Isaac Hayes, Mary Kay Bergman, Jennifer Howell

South Park's annual "Cow Days" party is happening! The cows become transfixed on a cow statue. In order to get the money they need to win Terrance and Phillip dolls, the boys sign Cartman up for a bull riding contest. A freak accident has Cartman believing he is a Vietnamese prostitute named Ming Li. The boys learn about money and cow insanity.

Source: TMDB

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♪ I'm going down to South Park ♪

park south south-park

↓

♪ Gonna have myself a time ♪

↓

♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪

faces friendly friendly-faces

↓

♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪

folks humble humble-folks temptation

↓

♪ Going down to South Park ♪

park south south-park

↓

♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪

behind woes woes-behind

↓

♪ Ample parking day or night ♪

ample ample-parking night parking

↓

♪ People spouting "Howdy neighbor" ♪

howdy howdy-neighbor neighbor spouting spouting-howdy spouting-howdy-neighbor

↓

♪ Headed on up to South Park ♪

headed park south south-park

↓

♪ Gonna see if I can't unwind ♪

unwind

↓

♪ So come on down to South Park ♪

park south south-park

↓

♪ And meet some friends of mine ♪

friends meet

↓

Well, Tom and Mary, you've made it

mary

↓

to the final round. Are you ready to play

final ready round

↓

for the grand prize? - We're ready, Bob.

grand grand-prize prize ready

↓

Any particular prize you're hoping for?

hoping particular prize

↓

Well, Hawaii's nice, but Tahiti would be fun, too.

fun

↓

- Oh, anywhere would be great.

↓

- Polynesian diggities. I wish you luck.

luck wish

↓

Here we go.

↓

What is the thin flap of skin

flap skin thin

↓

that runs from the base of the penis to the scrotum?

base penis runs

↓

Oh, wait, wait. I know this.

↓

The... Upper vascular hood.

hood upper vascular

↓

I'm sorry, but you're absolutely right!

absolutely

↓

Fred, tell them what they've won.

fred

↓

Tom and Mary, put on your cowboy hats

cowboy hats mary

↓

because you're going to beautiful

↓

South Park, Colorado.

colorado park park-colorado south south-park south-park-colorado

↓

Where?

↓

That's right, just in time for Cow Days,

days

↓

the world's 45th biggest rodeo and carnival.

biggest carnival rodeo worlds

↓

Every fall, South Park celebrates Cow Days,

celebrates days fall park south south-park

↓

and you're gonna be a part of it.

part

↓

You'll stay at the fabulous Super 7 Hotel on Bernard Road,

bernard fabulous hotel road super

↓

and enjoy festivities including prizes, rides,

enjoy festivities including prizes rides

↓

and of course, the world-famous

course famous world world-famous

↓

Running of the Cows.

cows running

↓

Congratulations, Tom and Mary.

congratulations mary

↓

Well, Tom and Mary, you must be very excited.

excited mary must

↓

What was second prize again?

prize second

↓

That's all for now. See you tomorrow on...

tomorrow

↓

"Ooh, What The Hell Is That?"

↓

Oh, shit.

↓

Oh.

↓

Ladies and gentlemen, I am pleased to kick off

gentlemen kick ladies pleased

↓

the 14th Annual South Park Cow Days.

annual annual-south annual-south-park days park south south-park

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As most of you know,

↓

Cow Days is when we all get together to celebrate

celebrate days

↓

and thank the noble, gentle cow.

gentle noble

↓

And now the chairman

chairman

↓

of Cow Days, Jimbo Kern.

days jimbo kern

↓

- This year is a very special Cow Days

days special

↓

because we're revealing our all-new cow memorial,

memorial revealing

↓

which will live forever in South Park

forever live live-forever park south south-park

↓

from this day forward. Release the curtain.

curtain forward release

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Moo.

↓

This is the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen.

ridiculous seen

↓

Now, Mary, this is our only vacation for years.

mary vacation years

↓

We have to make the best of it.

best

↓

Oh you're right. I'm sorry, honey.

honey

↓

We just need to stay positive.

positive

↓

Now get out to the carnival

carnival

↓

and enjoy the amazing rides and the wonderful games.

amazing enjoy games rides

↓

Hey, come over here, kids. Win fabulous prizes.

fabulous kids prizes

↓

Wow, dude, check it out.

check

↓

We can win Terrance and Phillip dolls.

dolls phillip phillip-dolls terrance

↓

Are those real Terrance and Phillip dolls?

dolls phillip phillip-dolls real terrance

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They look all crappy.

crappy

↓

Yeah, they look like cheap rip-offs.

cheap

↓

Sure, they're real. They're even made in Canada.

canada real

↓

Really? - Yeah, look,

↓

they're even signed by Terrance and Phillip themselves.

phillip signed terrance

↓

Wow! - Dude, that kicks ass!

kicks

↓

Dude, I got to win those. How much to play?

↓

Five dollars for three balls.

balls dollars five five-dollars three

↓

Five dollars, Jesus Christ!

christ dollars five five-dollars jesus jesus-christ

↓

Don't worry, kid. It's easy.

easy worry

↓

You just gotta put one ball through

ball

↓

Jennifer Love Hewitt's mouth. - That's easy.

easy jennifer love mouth

↓

Okay. We got a player.

player

↓

All right, check it out.

check

↓

Damn it! - It's okay, son,

↓

you still got two balls to try

balls

↓

and get through her yapper.

↓

Take this, Jennifer Love Hewitt!

jennifer love

↓

You suck, Cartman.

cartman suck

↓

I'd like to see you do you better.

↓

Give me that.

↓

Hey, it hit her right in the mouth.

mouth

↓

It's got to go through her mouth.

mouth

↓

But it-- - Sorry, kid. Try again.

↓

Just five more dollars.

dollars five

↓

Hey, give me some money, Cartman.

cartman money

↓

Yeah. - Give me money, fat boy.

money

↓

I only have $3 left, asshole.

asshole left

↓

Damn it, come on, I'll try to get more money

money

↓

from my mom. - Okay, everybody,

everybody

↓

it's time for the Running of the Cows.

cows running

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Ma, give me some money.

money

↓

Kyle, what are you doing here?

kyle

↓

This is very dangerous.

dangerous

↓

I need $17 so we can win Terrance and Phillip dolls.

dolls phillip phillip-dolls terrance

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- Kyle, get back into the carnival this instant.

carnival instant kyle

↓

You can't be out on the streets.

streets

↓

I will if you give me money. - Okay, here.

money

↓

Sweet. - Okay, everybody,

everybody sweet

↓

okay, settle down. Now, I know you're all anxious

anxious settle

↓

to get to the Running of the Cows,

cows running

↓

but let me remind you those brave souls

brave remind souls

↓

who have decided to run against the cows through town

cows decided town

↓

do so at they're own risk.

risk

↓

I don't think I have to remind you

remind

↓

that three people died at last year's Running of the Cows.

cows died running three years

↓

With that said,

↓

let's rock and roll!

rock roll

↓

Everybody ready to run?

everybody ready

↓

Release the cows.

cows release

↓

They're loose.

loose

↓

Yee-haa!

↓

Huh. Huh.

↓

Okay, we've got $15 between us.

↓

That means we get 9 balls to throw.

balls throw

↓

I only need one, dude. I only need one.

↓

Come one, come all, get in line now

line

↓

for the Chamber of Farts.

chamber farts

↓

What's that? - Dare you enter

dare enter

↓

the Chamber of Farts? - How much is it?

chamber farts

↓

Just three tickets, boys.

boys three tickets

↓

Dare you enter the Chamber of Farts?

chamber dare enter farts

↓

Is it like a haunted house or something?

haunted haunted-house house

↓

Sure, it's very scary.

scary

↓

Let's see, each ticket is a $1,

ticket

↓

so three tickets is like $2.25...

three tickets

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No, we can't, dude, we have to win

↓

the Terrance and Phillip dolls. - Oh, come on, you guys.

dolls phillip phillip-dolls terrance

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We still have plenty of money left over.

left money plenty

↓

You'd better be right, dude. - I'm right.

↓

Keep your hands inside at all times.

hands times

↓

Okay.

↓

So, the Chamber of Farts has another victim, eh?

another chamber farts victim

↓

Don't be afraid.

afraid

↓

There aren't any ghouls here,

ghouls

↓

only farts.

farts

↓

Ah, Goddamn it!

goddamn goddamn-it

↓

What the hell was that?

↓

Perhaps you need some more farts!

farts perhaps

↓

All right, boys. Ride's over.

boys rides

↓

That was the dumbest ride I've ever seen.

dumbest ride seen

↓

Yeah, what the hell kind of carnival company are you?

carnival company

↓

I don't know what you guys are talking about.

↓

That scared the crap out of me.

scared

↓

That was a waste of money, Cartman.

cartman money waste

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Hey, if you guys want a great ride, get in this line.

line ride

↓

It's only seven tickets.

seven tickets

↓

We can't. We're saving our money

money saving

↓

for the balls in Jennifer Love Hewitt's mouth game.

balls game jennifer love mouth

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Kyle, will you relax, you pink-eye!

kyle pink relax

↓

We have plenty of money.

money plenty

↓

Come on, you guys, it'll be sweet.

itll sweet

↓

Moo.

↓

Moo.

↓

This ride better be good.

ride

↓

Yeah, this line is way too long.

line

↓

I think we're almost to the end.

↓

We'd better be. We've been in line for almost an hour.

hour line

↓

Here we go. - Finally.

finally

↓

Did you enjoy the ride?

enjoy ride

↓

What ride? - Yeah.

ride

↓

This was the line ride, a real-life simulator

life line real real-life ride simulator

↓

of a long line.

line

↓

You've gotta be kidding me.

kidding

↓

That's five tickets. Thank you very much.

five tickets

↓

Come see us again soon.

↓

My ass, we will.

↓

Well, Cartman, this is just my opinion,

cartman opinion

↓

but I think the line ride sucked donkey balls.

balls donkey line ride sucked

↓

Yeah, let's not ride that ride again.

ride

↓

Would you like to buy a photo of you boys

boys photo

↓

enjoying the line ride?

enjoying line ride

↓

How much? - Just three dollars.

dollars three three-dollars

↓

Oh, that's pretty sweet.

sweet

↓

You dumb ass, Cartman. - What? This is cool.

cartman cool dumb

↓

No, it's not cool. - Is too!

cool

↓

Can I help you boys?

boys

↓

We're gonna try win those Terrance and Phillip dolls.

dolls phillip phillip-dolls terrance

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Okay, $5 for three balls.

balls three

↓

How much do we have left, Cartman?

cartman left

↓

How much do we have left, Cartman?

cartman left

↓

Uh, $3. - What?!

↓

You said we had plenty of money, Cartman.

cartman money plenty

↓

Yeah, but I didn't take into account the fact

account fact

↓

that I suck at math. - You son of a bitch!

bitch math suck

↓

Well, Cartman thanks to you, we don't have any money left

cartman left money thanks

↓

to win the Terrance and Phillip dolls.

dolls phillip phillip-dolls terrance

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Well, I'm sorry. - Sorry's not good enough.

↓

What are you gonna do about it?

↓

Hey, I bet Kenny has some food stamps on him.

food kenny stamps

↓

Sir, will you take food stamps for three balls?

balls food stamps three

↓

Sure as long as they're good.

↓

Give him your food stamps, Kenny.

food kenny stamps

↓

Uh-uh. - Come on, dude.

↓

I can do it. I'm sure.

↓

- Damn it, Kenny, don't be such a food stamp hog!

food kenny stamp

↓

Share with the rest of your friends!

friends rest share

↓

Okay, here we go.

↓

Hey, that was right on target. - Sorry, kid, try again.

target

↓

That does it, shenanigans, shenanigans!

shenanigans

↓

What are you doing?

↓

I'm declaring shenanigans on you.

declaring shenanigans

↓

This game is rigged. - Shenanigans?

game rigged shenanigans

↓

What's all the hoo-ha?

↓

Officer Barbrady, I wanna declare shenanigans

barbrady declare officer officer-barbrady shenanigans

↓

on this carnival operator. - Why?

carnival operator

↓

This game is fixed. The balls are bigger

balls bigger fixed game

↓

than Jennifer Love Hewitt's mouth.

jennifer love mouth

↓

If that is true, then your declaration

declaration

↓

of shenanigans is just.

shenanigans

↓

What do you have to say, carnival operator?

carnival operator

↓

Look, the kid was really close.

close

↓

He still has another ball left.

another ball left

↓

Let's try again, son.

↓

Here ya go.

↓

There, ya see? We have a winner.

winner

↓

It worked. - Young man, you can't just go

worked young

↓

declaring shenanigans on innocent people.

declaring innocent shenanigans

↓

That's how wars get started.

started wars

↓

Sorry, Officer Butt-baby. - Barbrady.

baby barbrady butt butt-baby officer

↓

Oh, I'm sorry. What did I say?

↓

You said Butt-baby.

baby butt butt-baby

↓

Okay, kid, you won.

↓

You get to pick between the Barbie pocket mirror

barbie mirror pick pocket

↓

and the Bon Jovi toothpick.

jovi

↓

No, dude, I want the Terrance and Phillip dolls up there.

dolls phillip phillip-dolls terrance

↓

Oh, no, you got to win 7 times to earn those.

earn times

↓

What? - You win 7 Bon Jovi

jovi

↓

toothpicks, then you can trade them in

trade

↓

for the Terrance and Phillip dolls.

dolls phillip phillip-dolls terrance

↓

You dirty son of a bitch!

bitch dirty

↓

You never told us that we had to--

↓

- Step on up, just $5 to play.

step

↓

Damn it, I have to have those dolls!

dolls

↓

This is hopeless. We're never gonna have

hopeless

↓

enough money to win. - Wait a minute, I've got it.

minute money

↓

The bull riding contest.

bull contest riding

↓

Cartman could ride a bull and try to win $5,000.

bull cartman ride

↓

Think about it, dude, $5,000!

↓

That's 1,000 set of balls. That's 3,000 balls.

balls

↓

We'd have to win enough to get the dolls.

dolls

↓

What the hell makes you think Cartman rides a bull?

bull cartman makes rides

↓

Because you spent all of our money

money spent

↓

on those stupid rides, fat ass.

rides stupid

↓

Now, either you're getting on a bull

bull

↓

or I'm gonna break your fucking head open.

break fucking fucking-head head open

↓

Okay, I'll get on the bull.

bull

↓

All right. Now come on,

↓

you have to practice.

practice

↓

He really wants those dolls. - I guess, damn.

dolls wants

↓

That ride wasn't very good.

ride

↓

Now, Mary, you promised me we'd try to have a good time.

mary promised

↓

You're right. I'm sorry, honey.

honey

↓

I'll try and have a good time.

↓

Moo, moo.

↓

Moo, moo.

↓

All right, this mechanical bull is gonna help you

bull

↓

practice for the real thing, Cartman.

cartman practice real

↓

Hey, this is sweet. - You got to try and stay on

sweet

↓

for ten seconds, okay, Cartman?

cartman seconds

↓

I'll try, ten seconds is a long time.

seconds

↓

We'll start on the slowest setting

setting slowest start

↓

and work our way up. Ready, go.

ready

↓

Ah, son of a bitch.

bitch

↓

How long was that? - That wasn't ten seconds.

seconds

↓

Damn it! That wasn't ten seconds, Cartman.

cartman seconds

↓

You have to do better than that.

↓

My back.

↓

Get back on, fat ass. You have to practice.

practice

↓

Help.

↓

Screw you guys, I hate you guys.

hate screw

↓

What did you say, Cartman?

cartman

↓

Hate you guys.

hate

↓

- I think he said he wants to practice on a real bull.

bull practice real wants

↓

Hate you guys.

hate

↓

Be careful with old Bob, here.

careful

↓

He ain't much for riding anymore,

aint anymore riding

↓

but he's all I got. - Well, he'll have to do.

↓

Cartman has to get some practice with a real bull.

bull cartman practice real

↓

Well, have fun, boys.

boys fun

↓

Okay, Cartman, you ready? - Na.

cartman ready

↓

Open the gate.

gate open

↓

Oh, yeah, God damn, this is my kind of bull ride.

bull ride

↓

That bull sucks, he's not even bucking or anything.

bull sucks

↓

Yeah, this is sweet. - What are you gonna do?

sweet

↓

- Hit the bull in the balls with a snowball.

balls bull

↓

- Oh, yeah, that's a good idea.

idea

↓

That's better. - Hold on, Cartman.

cartman

↓

Jane, stop this crazy thing!

crazy jane

↓

Motherfu--

↓

Get up, Cartman, you're still not staying on long enough.

cartman staying

↓

Come on, Cartman.

cartman

↓

Oh, my God! They killed Cartman!

cartman killed

↓

No, we didn't kill him. He's still breathing.

breathing kill

↓

Get up!

↓

Get up!

↓

You okay, dude?

↓

Cartman, hello? Hello.

cartman

↓

Dude, I think we broke him.

broke

↓

Boys, I'm afraid your fat little friend

afraid boys friend

↓

has suffered head trauma. - What's the matter with him?

head matter suffered trauma

↓

Well, apparently, he thinks he's a Vietnamese

apparently thinks vietnamese

↓

prostitute named Ming Lee. - Oh.

ming named prostitute

↓

But can he still ride a bull? - What?

bull ride

↓

We need him to win the bull riding contest

bull contest riding

↓

so we can get Terrance and Phillip dolls.

dolls phillip phillip-dolls terrance

↓

Can he still do it? - No, boys.

boys

↓

You need to take him home and let him get

home

↓

plenty of sleep. - Damn it!

plenty sleep

↓

Cartman, Cartman?

cartman

↓

Can you hear me?

↓

What?

↓

Oh, he's fine, dude. - You think?

↓

Oh, yeah, dude, let's get his ass to the rodeo.

rodeo

↓

All right, damn it, we're not gonna stand for this.

stand

↓

Now who ever stole our Golden Cow Memorial,

golden memorial stole

↓

we're gonna find you and kill you!

kill

↓

All right, how about this?

↓

Whoever took the sacred cow, just please return him

return sacred

↓

and there'll be no questions asked.

asked questions questions-asked therell

↓

Wait a minute, you folks from out of town,

folks minute town

↓

you're the only ones with a reason to take

ones reason

↓

our beloved cow memorial.

beloved memorial

↓

Where are we going to put a 60-foot tall

foot tall

↓

statue of a cow? - Well, I think maybe

statue

↓

you'll answer that downtown, tourist.

answer downtown tourist

↓

Oh, my God!

↓

How's he doing? - He still thinks he's

thinks

↓

a Vietnamese prostitute.

prostitute vietnamese

↓

Do you think he can ride the bull?

bull ride

↓

Yeah, I think so. - Cool.

cool

↓

Hello. Hello.

↓

Soldier boy? Hey, soldier boy?

soldier

↓

Huh? - Hello, soldier boy.

soldier

↓

Me so horny. Me love you long time.

horny love

↓

Go away, kid, you're grossing me out.

↓

Suckie, suckie.

suckie suckie-suckie

↓

Beat it, kid. Come on, honey.

beat honey

↓

Come one, come all, the Chamber of Farts

chamber farts

↓

has been fixed and is reopened.

fixed

↓

Jesus, dude. - Hey, where's Cartman?

cartman jesus

↓

Oh, hell.

↓

Kenny, you go find Cartman. We have to sign him up

cartman kenny sign

↓

for the bull ride. - Okay.

bull ride

↓

Oh, it's so cold here.

cold

↓

Where is that Sheriff? We need water.

sheriff water

↓

- Oh, well, let's try to make the best of it, Mary.

best mary

↓

You're right. We're not being positive.

positive

↓

At least we get some time alone.

alone least

↓

Yeah, and at least we've got our health.

health least

↓

I'll tell you, Mitchell,

↓

I ain't never seen nothing like it.

aint seen

↓

Where are they again?

↓

Just right up over this ridge.

ridge

↓

That's what they've been doing all morning,

morning

↓

just sitting there and mooing.

sitting

↓

And more cows come all the time.

cows

↓

Well, I ain't never seen this before, neither,

aint seen

↓

But I know one thing, when cows start getting together,

cows start

↓

it can't be good.

↓

They might start forming a cult.

cult might start

↓

Hmm, cow cult.

cult

↓

Here it is, the granddaddy of them all.

↓

The South Park Cow Days rodeo!

days park rodeo south south-park

↓

Let's begin the bull riding event,

begin bull event riding

↓

grand prize $5,000.

grand grand-prize prize

↓

Kenny, where the hell is Cartman?

cartman kenny

↓

I don't know can't find him.

↓

- He's up in like 20 minutes.

minutes

↓

There he is.

↓

- Suckie, suckie, $5.

suckie suckie-suckie

↓

- There they are, just like we told you.

↓

- Okay, that's enough of that. You cows need to disperse?

cows disperse

↓

All right, bad cows, did ya hear me?

cows

↓

Bad cows!

cows

↓

All right, Ned, you're gonna have to bust out the whip.

bust whip

↓

Haiyaaa.

↓

Get along, little doggies.

along

↓

Bad cows, stay. Stay.

cows

↓

Ah!

↓

- Holy crow. Play dead, Ned.

crow dead holy

↓

- I reckon we should get some help.

reckon

↓

- I reckon.

reckon

↓

- Don't be nervous, Cartman, this is gonna be cake!

cake cartman nervous

↓

- Yeah, and then those Terrance and Phillip dolls will be ours.

dolls phillip phillip-dolls terrance

↓

- Suckie, suckie, $5?

suckie suckie-suckie

↓

- Up first, number 24,

number

↓

Jack McMac!

jack

↓

Three, two, one!

three

↓

- Yeehaw!

yeehaw

↓

Yeehaw!

yeehaw

↓

Oh, that's gonna cost him a point deduction.

cost point

↓

Up next number 14, Ming Lee!

ming number

↓

$10, $8, you give me $8, soldier boy!

soldier

↓

Here we go!

↓

Dude, I'm having second thoughts about this.

having second second-thoughts thoughts

↓

What do you mean? - I'm starting to think that

starting

↓

maybe it's wrong to put someone who thinks

thinks

↓

they're a Vietnamese prostitute on a bull.

bull prostitute vietnamese

↓

Let her go!

↓

Suckie, suckie! - Hang on, Cartman!

cartman hang suckie suckie-suckie

↓

Whoa, and this Vietnamese prostitute

prostitute vietnamese whoa

↓

can really ride a bull!

bull ride

↓

I guess she's had a lot of practice,

practice

↓

if you know what I mean.

↓

Ah! $10!

↓

$10, soldier boy!

soldier

↓

She's setting a new world record!

record setting world world-record

↓

Ming Lee! Ming Lee! Ming Lee!

ming

↓

Dude, that bull's gonna kill him.

bulls kill

↓

Go help him, Kenny!

kenny

↓

Oh, my God! They killed Kenny!

kenny killed killed-kenny

↓

You bastards!

bastards

↓

And this brave, little whore from the East

brave east whore

↓

has really put on a show for us today.

today

↓

The winner of the bull riding contest...

bull contest riding winner

↓

Ming Lee! - Oh, suckie, suckie. Only $10.

ming suckie suckie-suckie

↓

We did it, dude! We did it!

↓

Freeze, cows! The game is over!

cows freeze game

↓

You will now return to your respective towns.

respective return towns

↓

Ya hear that, cows?

cows

↓

You're surrounded, there's no way out!

surrounded

↓

You will now all march

march

↓

in an orderly fashion into this trailer!

fashion orderly orderly-fashion trailer

↓

Move!

↓

Hey, where's she going?

↓

That's the wrong way, you stupid cow!

stupid

↓

Oh, dear Jesus, no!

dear jesus

↓

No!

↓

They're killing themselves!

killing

↓

Stop, please!

↓

Can't we do anything?

↓

Oh, God! The humanity, Ned! The humanity.

humanity

↓

This is the first mass cow suicide I've seen in...

mass seen suicide

↓

at least 8 months.

least months

↓

Ah, you boys are back again, huh?

boys

↓

Yeah, and we have $5,000 this time.

↓

How many balls does that get us?

balls

↓

I'll tell you what, boys,

boys

↓

I'm gonna be really nice and just...

↓

Trade you the 5,000 for the Terrance and Phillip dolls.

dolls phillip phillip-dolls terrance trade

↓

You will? - Wow.

↓

Why'd you get so cool all of a sudden?

cool sudden whyd

↓

We did it! You see, Cartman?

cartman

↓

You won us the Terrance and Phillip dolls.

dolls phillip phillip-dolls terrance

↓

$10? Suckie, suckie?

suckie suckie-suckie

↓

What should we do with them? - We should--

↓

What the...?

↓

Dude, these dolls are cheap rip-offs.

cheap dolls

↓

After all that? Shenanigans!

shenanigans

↓

Shenanigans! Shenanigans!

shenanigans

↓

What's all this?

↓

Officer Barbrady, I would like to reinstate

barbrady officer officer-barbrady

↓

my previous shenanigans.

previous shenanigans

↓

This whole carnival is a rip-off.

carnival whole

↓

You know, excuse me, but I agree.

agree excuse

↓

These rides are really stupid.

rides stupid

↓

Chamber of Farts isn't scary at all.

chamber farts scary

↓

Yeah, and the food is terrible.

food

↓

Hey, it's just a stupid rodeo! What do you expect?

expect rodeo stupid

↓

Okay, okay, let's calm down.

calm

↓

People of South Park, do you declare shenanigans

declare park shenanigans south south-park

↓

- on the carnival people? - Yes!

carnival

↓

Okay, carnival people, do you accept

accept carnival

↓

this decree of shenanigan?

↓

What the hell are you talking about?

↓

This whole town is screwy.

screwy town whole whole-town

↓

Well, that settles it.

settles

↓

Everybody grab a broom, it's shenanigans!

broom everybody grab shenanigans

↓

You found it! You found the memorial!

found memorial

↓

Yeah. - And the cows?

cows

↓

Are they all back, too? - They're dead, Mayor.

dead mayor

↓

They're all dead. - What?

dead

↓

Oh, it was awful.

awful

↓

Cow after cow taking its own life.

life

↓

And we could do nothing to stop them! Oh, God!

↓

Well, perhaps one day cows will learn

cows learn perhaps

↓

that cults are never a good thing.

cults

↓

I hope so, Mayor, I hope so.

hope mayor

↓

God, I need a cold beer and a burger.

beer burger cold cold-beer

↓

What's all the ruckus over there?

ruckus

↓

Sounds like somebody declared shenanigans.

declared shenanigans somebody sounds

↓

Oh, hell, I have to run home and get my broom.

broom home

↓

- All right, you damned carnival people,

carnival damned

↓

into jail with... Oh?

jail

↓

Hey, aren't those the people

↓

we at first thought took the wooden cow?

wooden

↓

- Yeah. - Didn't we ever release them?

release

↓

- I forgot all about them. - Me, too.

forgot

↓

- Oh, my God, Officer Barbrady,

barbrady officer officer-barbrady

↓

you never had Tom and Mary in the cell.

cell mary

↓

- I didn't? - No, no, in fact,

fact

↓

they never came to South Park.

park south south-park

↓

We've never heard of them.

heard

↓

- Aaahh, phew, I feel a lot better then.

aaahh phew

↓

Although, I could've swore that I had heard of them

couldve heard swore

↓

and they starved to death in my prison.

death prison starved

↓

- Say, Terrance, let's look for treasure.

terrance treasure

↓

- Oh, good idea, Phillip, let's look for treasure.

idea phillip treasure

↓

- What are you guys doing?

↓

- Oh, hey, Cartman how are you feeling?

cartman feeling

↓

- Pretty good, except I had

except

↓

the weirdest dream last night. - Really, what about?

dream night weirdest

↓

- Well, I dreamt that I was a poor Vietnamese girl,

dreamt girl poor vietnamese

↓

and then you guys made me ride a big scary bull,

bull ride scary

↓

and then Leonardo DiCaprio gave me a spanking

spanking

↓

for several hours. Hey, how did you guys win

hours several several-hours

↓

all those Terrance and Phillip dolls?

dolls phillip phillip-dolls terrance

↓

- Oh, nowhere.

↓

- Wait a minute, you guys did make me

minute

↓

ride that bull! - No.

bull ride

↓

Cartman, that was just a dream.

cartman dream

↓

- Bye, Ming Lee. Thanks again.

ming thanks

↓

Ha, ha, ha.

↓

Son of a bitch!

bitch