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Home » South Park » S02E12 — Clubhouses

South Park

Season 2, Episode 12 — Clubhouses

TMDB episode metadata

Show: South Park

Episode title: Clubhouses

Air date: September 23, 1998

Director: Trey Parker

Top billed cast: Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Isaac Hayes, Mary Kay Bergman, Jennifer Howell

Stan needs to build a clubhouse so he and Kyle can play "Truth or Dare" with Wendy and her friend, who has a crush on Kyle. Cartman and Kenny retaliate by building a clubhouse of their own; only theirs has hot chicks. Meanwhile, the Marshes marriage breaks up and Stan learns a valuable lesson about love and family.

Source: TMDB

↓

Wow, what a great episode.

episode

↓

And what great timing.

timing

↓

Our Western Idaho bacon casserole is ready.

bacon casserole idaho ready western

↓

Now, that looks baconlicious.

↓

Now all we have to do is dish it out

dish

↓

and garnish with a side of bacon.

bacon garnish side

↓

Oh, Macon, feels left out. He needs some bacon.

bacon feels left macon needs

↓

All right.

↓

Who loves bacon? Who loves bacon?

bacon loves loves-bacon

↓

Who loves bacon?

bacon loves loves-bacon

↓

Who loves bacon?

bacon loves loves-bacon

↓

Who loves bacon?

bacon loves loves-bacon

↓

Who loves bacon? Yeah.

bacon loves loves-bacon

↓

Now, we can't let all this bacon grease go to waste.

bacon grease waste

↓

So this time, we're going to pour it into a mold...

mold pour

↓

And that makes a fabulous dessert.

dessert fabulous makes

↓

Well, not it's time for our favorite episode

episode favorite favorite-episode

↓

of "South Park." It's called "Clubhouses."

called clubhouses park south south-park

↓

This is about that innocent time in every kid's life

innocent kids life

↓

where they play Truth or Dare for the first time.

dare truth

↓

The first time I played Truth or Dare

dare played truth

↓

was with my Uncle Steve.

steve uncle

↓

Well, this episode is also about

episode

↓

the nasty business of divorce

business divorce nasty

↓

Divorce is a terrible thing.

divorce

↓

Both Matt's parents and my parents

parents

↓

are still married, and that's the main reason

main main-reason married reason

↓

we turned out to be such nice guys.

turned

↓

Have some more bacon, pig.

bacon

↓

So now we're going to enjoy

enjoy

↓

some Western Idaho bacon casserole,

bacon casserole idaho western

↓

and you all enjoy "Clubhouses."

clubhouses enjoy

↓

♪ I'm going down to South Park ♪

park south south-park

↓

♪ Gonna have myself a time ♪

↓

♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪

faces friendly friendly-faces

↓

♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪

folks humble humble-folks temptation

↓

♪ Going down to South Park ♪

park south south-park

↓

♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪

behind woes woes-behind

↓

♪ Ample parking day or night ♪

ample ample-parking night parking

↓

♪ People spouting "howdy neighbor" ♪

howdy howdy-neighbor neighbor spouting spouting-howdy spouting-howdy-neighbor

↓

♪ Headed on up to South Park ♪

headed park south south-park

↓

♪ Gonna see if I can't unwind ♪

unwind

↓

♪ So come on down to South Park ♪

park south south-park

↓

♪ And meet some friends of mine ♪

friends meet

↓

Sgt. Stanley Marsh is trapped behind enemy lines.

behind enemy lines marsh stanley trapped

↓

His only chance of survival is to sneak past

chance past sneak survival

↓

the Bosnian guard who stands watch.

guard stands watch

↓

Sgt. Marsh knows it's now or never.

knows marsh

↓

He must make a run for it.

must

↓

The American base is only a few feet away...

american base feet

↓

It will take more than your weak

weak

↓

American weapons to destroy me.

american destroy weapons

↓

Cartman, we shot your Bosnian fat ass!

cartman shot

↓

Yeah, you're dead!

dead

↓

I have class 4 armour on

armour class

↓

that, uh, it - No, you don't!

↓

Special armor that's impenetrable

armor special

↓

to American bullets.

american bullets

↓

Dude, every time we play Americans vs. Bosnians,

americans

↓

you cheat! - Yeah Cartman, you suck.

cartman cheat suck

↓

If you want to play Americans vs. Bosnians anymore,

americans anymore

↓

you can just play with yourself.

↓

That's fine, I like playing with myself.

playing

↓

I'll play with myself all day long.

↓

What?

↓

Well, now what are we going to do?

↓

I don't know. - Hi, Stan.

stan

↓

Hi, Wendy. - Kyle, doesn't Bebe

bebe kyle wendy

↓

look pretty today? - I don't know.

today

↓

She does, she looks very pretty.

↓

Okay. - Stan, can I talk to you

stan

↓

for a second?

second

↓

Stan, wouldn't it be fun if we fixed

fixed fun stan

↓

Kyle up with Bebe? - No.

bebe kyle

↓

If Bebe and Kyle were a couple, then we could

bebe couple kyle

↓

invite them over to your clubhouse for dinner,

clubhouse dinner invite

↓

and play parlor games and have meaningful conversations

conversations games meaningful parlor

↓

and sip cognac by the fireplace.

fireplace

↓

We could? - Yes, Stan!

stan

↓

But, dude, I don't have a clubhouse.

clubhouse

↓

You don't? I thought all guys had clubhouses.

clubhouses

↓

Just how many guys' clubhouses have you been in?

clubhouses

↓

Cartman don Cartman has ways of making you talk.

cartman ways

↓

Stan, you have to build a clubhouse,

build clubhouse stan

↓

then all four of us could sit in it and play

four

↓

"Truth or Dare."

dare truth

↓

Truth or Dare, wow! Come on, Kyle,

dare kyle truth

↓

we've got work to do. We do?

↓

We're gonna build a clubhouse.

build clubhouse

↓

I have to ask my dad for help.

↓

Did it work? - I think it did, Bebe.

bebe

↓

If all goes as planned, Kyle will be

kyle planned

↓

your new boyfriend! - I hope so, Wendy.

boyfriend hope wendy

↓

He's got such a hot ass!

↓

Hey, Phillip, pull my finger.

finger phillip pull

↓

All right, Terrence.

terrence

↓

Oh, wait, wait, wait, pull harder.

harder pull pull-harder

↓

Well, all right.

↓

Damn it, pull really hard, Phillip.

hard phillip pull

↓

- Okay. - Wait.

↓

Aah! Oh, boy!

↓

Wait, wait.

↓

Got you there.

↓

Uh, oh.

↓

Oh, you got me, Terrence.

terrence

↓

Yes, I sure did.

↓

Whoa, dude, your dad is watching

watching whoa

↓

Terrence and Phillip. No, I was just, uh,

phillip terrence

↓

flipping through the channels.

channels flipping

↓

Hey, Dad, we need to build a clubhouse.

build clubhouse

↓

Okay. - How do we do it?

↓

You just get a hammer and some wood.

hammer wood

↓

What? Do some girls want to play

girls

↓

Truth or Dare or something?

dare truth

↓

Yeah, dude! How did you know? - How do you think

↓

I met your mother? - Randy, my wedding ring.

mother randy ring wedding wedding-ring

↓

I lost it down the garbage disposal!

disposal garbage lost

↓

Oh, brother.

brother

↓

Stanley, I thought I told you not to watch

stanley watch

↓

this horrible cartoon.

cartoon horrible

↓

Yeah, Stanley, you should know better.

stanley

↓

Dude! - Here, Stanley,

stanley

↓

you watch nice cartoons like "Fat Abbot".

abbot cartoons watch

↓

Randy, will you please

randy

↓

come get my wedding ring out of sink!

ring sink wedding wedding-ring

↓

Okay, okay. Hey, hey, hey,

↓

what's going on, Rudy?

rudy

↓

Man, Fat Abbot, you need to lose weight.

abbot lose lose-weight weight

↓

I lose weight when I feel like it, bitch!

bitch lose lose-weight weight

↓

Shut your bitchass mouth, ho'!

mouth

↓

Bitch? I'll kick your ass!

bitch kick

↓

Whoa dude! - Sweet!

sweet whoa

↓

You think you're slick, you punkass,

slick

↓

blasphemous, dopefiend, bitch.

bitch

↓

I had my jimmy wacked seven times last week.

jimmy seven seven-times times week

↓

I'll bust a cap in your.

bust

↓

Wow, cartoons are getting really dirty.

cartoons dirty

↓

Did you find it? Give me a second, would you?

second

↓

Don't snap at me! - I didn't snap at you.

snap

↓

You snapped at me! - Whatever.

snapped

↓

"Whatever"? In 15 years, you've never said

years

↓

"whatever" to me.

↓

I don't want fight, I'm sorry.

fight

↓

I'm sorry, too. I think I found it.

found

↓

That's not it, you idiot! - Hey, back off, bitch!

bitch idiot

↓

You just said the "C" word! - Did I?

word

↓

This is a sweet spot for a clubhouse.

clubhouse spot sweet sweet-spot

↓

Yeah, hey, Stan, what did your dad mean

stan

↓

when he said we're gonna play Truth or Dare?

dare truth

↓

Oh, uh, just that maybe when we're finished,

finished

↓

Wendy and Bebe can come over and play.

bebe wendy

↓

Dude, what kind of sick joke is that?

joke sick

↓

Girls suck ass.

girls suck

↓

Well, of course, they do, but, uh...

course

↓

wouldn't it be sweet to play Truth or Dare with them?

dare sweet truth

↓

What, why? Because, dude,

↓

we could make them do really gross stuff like eat bugs.

bugs gross stuff

↓

Hey, yeah, that would be sweet!

sweet

↓

We could totally ruin their lives!

lives ruin

↓

What are you guys doing?

↓

We're building a clubhouse.

building clubhouse

↓

A clubhouse?

clubhouse

↓

That's the lamest thing I've ever heard.

heard

↓

It's not lame, it's sweet.

lame sweet

↓

After we build this clubhouse, we're going to get

build clubhouse

↓

girls to play Truth or Dare.

dare girls truth

↓

Why?

↓

Because, dumbass, we can dare them to do

dare dumbass

↓

gross stuff and make them cry.

gross stuff

↓

What, were you born yesterday?

born yesterday

↓

Yeah, now beat it, you guys. This clubhouse is private.

beat clubhouse private

↓

That's fine. We'll build our own clubhouse.

build clubhouse

↓

Fine. Fine, and then we'll get

↓

girls to play Truth or Dare, too.

dare girls truth

↓

Fine. - Fine.

↓

Fine.

↓

Fine! - Fine! That's fine!

↓

Fine! - Fine!

↓

No, Kenny, you can't look.

kenny

↓

I'm the foreman.

foreman

↓

Because, Kenny, your family's poor.

familys kenny poor

↓

You have to be the worker.

worker

↓

No, Kenny!

kenny

↓

How's the treehouse coming along, hon?

along coming coming-along

↓

Mom, it's not a treehouse, it's a clubhouse!

clubhouse

↓

Sorry, hon.

↓

Mom, can we pull up the carpeting

pull

↓

in the living room? Well, I don't know, Eric.

eric living living-room room

↓

If you did that, then the floors would be bare.

bare floors

↓

But, Mom, the blueprint says

↓

we need carpeting in the clubhouse!

clubhouse

↓

Well, all right.

↓

Kenny, my mom says you can go get carpeting

kenny

↓

in the living room now.

living living-room room

↓

And stop your bitchin'!

bitchin

↓

What are you doing, sweetheart?

sweetheart

↓

Getting a cookie. We're building a clubhouse

building clubhouse cookie

↓

and then we're-- - You men are all alike.

alike

↓

First you get a cookie and then you criticize the way I dress

cookie criticize dress

↓

and then it's the way I cook.

cook

↓

I suppose next you'll be telling me

suppose telling

↓

that you need your space

space

↓

and that I'm sabotaging your creativity.

creativity sabotaging

↓

Go ahead, Stanley, get your goddamn cookie!

ahead cookie go-ahead goddamn stanley

↓

'Kay.

↓

And so, children, today we're going to focus

children focus today

↓

on American history. Right, Mr. Twig?

american history twig

↓

That's right, Mr. Garrison. American history is very

american garrison history

↓

When is Mr. Hat coming back? - What did you say?

coming

↓

When is Mr. Hat coming back?

coming

↓

I told you to never to mention that name

mention name

↓

in my classroom again.

classroom

↓

Mr. Hat is a two-timing whore,

timing whore

↓

and now we all learn from Mr. Twig!

learn twig

↓

But Mr. Twig sucks. - Yeah!

sucks twig

↓

That is enough! Mr. Hat is gone

gone

↓

and he isn't coming back! and I don't want to hear it!

coming

↓

Anyway, children, let's turn our history

children history

↓

textbooks to page 105, which would be right after...

page textbooks

↓

So, how's your lameass clubhouse, Stan?

clubhouse stan

↓

Better than yours, fat boy. - We'll see about that.

↓

Don't forget you need to cut school early

early forget school

↓

and wait for the hot tub guy.

↓

Is the clubhouse ready? - Almost.

clubhouse ready

↓

Stan, are you paying attention?

attention paying paying-attention stan

↓

Yes, Mr. Garrison. - Well then, Stanley,

garrison stanley

↓

what did I just say?

↓

Um...

↓

You said that even though Charo appeared 12 times

appeared times

↓

on "The Love Boat", the episode with

boat episode love

↓

"Captain and Tennille" got higher ratings.

captain higher ratings

↓

Well, okay, I suppose you were paying attention.

attention paying paying-attention suppose

↓

Anyway, children... - Good guess, dude.

children

↓

Phew!

phew

↓

Psst, pass this up.

pass psst

↓

Pass this up.

pass

↓

Pass this up.

pass

↓

P-Pass this up.

pass

↓

Stanley, are you passing notes to Kyle?

kyle notes passing stanley

↓

No, I just - Don't lie, Stan,

stan

↓

lying makes you sterile.

lying makes sterile

↓

I'm not lying, someone just handed me--

handed lying

↓

Stanley, if you think it's so important

stanley

↓

to keep interrupting my class,

class interrupting

↓

then why don't you come up to the front

front

↓

and read your note to Kyle for everyone to hear?

kyle note read

↓

But I didn't write the note.

note write

↓

Mr. Garrison, Stan's behavior is having

behavior garrison having stans

↓

an adverse affect on my education.

affect education

↓

Shut up, Cartman! - Stanley Marsh,

cartman marsh stanley

↓

you come up here right now and read your note!

note read

↓

Oh, man!

↓

"Dear Kyle, you have got such a great ass.

dear kyle

↓

"I could sleep for days on those perky cheeks,

cheeks days perky sleep

↓

"let me tell you. I'd like to live with you

live

↓

and wear your ass as a hat for all eternity."

eternity wear

↓

Whoa, dude!

whoa

↓

Now, young man, school is a time

school young

↓

for learning, okay? Not for immature skylarkings.

immature learning

↓

What's "sky larkings"?

↓

You know, like tomfooleries.

↓

Who?

↓

Oh, your parents are here.

parents

↓

Oh, no. - Thank you for coming

coming

↓

on such short notice. I was just disciplining

notice short short-notice

↓

your son for his sky larkings.

↓

Stanley, I-- "sky larkings"?

stanley

↓

Okay?

↓

Stanley, I want you to explain to me

explain stanley

↓

why you were passing notes in school.

notes passing school

↓

Randy, let me handle this.

handle randy

↓

Now, Stanley, I want you to explain to me

explain stanley

↓

why you were passing notes in school.

notes passing school

↓

It wasn't my note, dude. It was some girl's.

girls note

↓

Okay, Stanley, we're all here to get to the root

root stanley

↓

of your behavior disorder.

behavior disorder

↓

You really should know better, Stanley.

stanley

↓

You need to shape up, mister.

mister shape

↓

Don't interrupt me.

interrupt

↓

You always interrupt me when I talk.

interrupt

↓

Can't you see that-- --I don't interrupt you.

interrupt

↓

There, you did it again. He interrupted me again.

interrupted

↓

Okay, perhaps you should let your wife

perhaps wife

↓

finish talking, Mr. Marsh. Now, Stan, I want you to

finish marsh stan

↓

Okay, I'm sorry to interrupt, but she always

interrupt

↓

takes over any conversation.

conversation takes

↓

Uh, taking over any conversations bad?

conversations

↓

Like you're one to talk. When's the last time

whens

↓

you really listened to what I had to say?

listened

↓

Uh, uh, okay. - When was the last time

↓

you had anything interesting to say?

interesting

↓

It's always gossip and stupid crap.

gossip stupid

↓

Apparently, we have a bit of a

apparently

↓

communication problem here.

communication problem

↓

Mr. Marsh, tell me how you're feeling.

feeling marsh

↓

Well, I feel like everything I do is wrong.

↓

It doesn't matter what I say.

matter

↓

Okay, that's valid. Now, Mrs. Marsh,

marsh valid

↓

how do you feel? - Excuse me.

excuse

↓

Like I'm a ghost,

ghost

↓

like he sees right through me. - Oh, please!

sees

↓

Hello. - Oh, please, yourself.

↓

Who tries to control the marriage?

control marriage tries

↓

And by that, I mean who's dominating

↓

the aspects of the relationship?

relationship

↓

He is. - No, she is.

↓

Oh, I'm sorry, I guess I'm wrong again!

↓

Okay...

↓

Look at it, Kenny.

kenny

↓

It is the greatest clubhouse ever built.

built clubhouse greatest

↓

Uhhuh. - And we built it,

built

↓

with our own hands.

hands

↓

Now all we need is chicks, Kenny.

chicks kenny

↓

Yeah! - All right,

↓

you go find chicks, Kenny.

chicks kenny

↓

Because I have to stay here and work.

↓

I still got to shingle the roof,

roof

↓

test the foundation, run all kinds of inspections,

foundation kinds test

↓

I've got way too much to do, and all you have to do

↓

is go find chicks. Now, stop your bitchin'!

bitchin chicks

↓

Mom, can I watch "American Gladiators"?

american watch

↓

Dude, where have you been?

↓

I've been waiting all afternoon.

afternoon waiting

↓

I got in trouble for that note Bebe was trying

bebe note trouble

↓

to pass to you. - To me?

pass

↓

I mean, no, not to you, forget it.

forget

↓

Come on, dude, we have to finish our clubhouse quick.

clubhouse finish quick

↓

The girls want to play Truth or Dare, tomorrow.

dare girls tomorrow truth

↓

We should use nails, dude.

nails

↓

My mom won't let us.

↓

Hi, guys, how's the clubhouse coming?

clubhouse coming

↓

Pretty good, we're almost done.

↓

Well hurry, we want to play Truth or Dare.

dare hurry truth

↓

We're going as fast as we can.

fast

↓

Kyle, could you turn around for a second?

kyle second

↓

Thank you.

↓

Come on, dude, we have to hammer faster.

faster hammer

↓

Hey, Stan, do you know how to play Truth or Dare?

dare stan truth

↓

No. - Well, dude, how the hell

↓

are we supposed to play it then?

supposed

↓

I didn't even think about that!

↓

...And then they'll ask, "Truth or Dare?"

dare truth

↓

And I say "dare." - No, no, you say "truth."

dare truth

↓

Truth? But that's boring.

boring truth

↓

I want to get dared to kiss her.

kiss

↓

You have to say truth the first few times

times truth

↓

or else you'll seem to eager. - Oh.

eager

↓

You can't seem to eager. You got to play it cool.

cool eager

↓

Like you don't even care what happens.

care happens

↓

Yeah. Then after a few truths,

truths

↓

you finally answer "dare." - Dare!

answer dare finally

↓

But not like that, son. Like this:

↓

Dare...

dare

↓

Oh. And then her little friend

friend

↓

will dare you to kiss Wendy.

dare kiss wendy

↓

You really think so? - Of course she will.

course

↓

They're women.

women

↓

They've had this whole thing planned out

planned whole

↓

months ahead of time. - Wow!

ahead months

↓

Hey, hey, hey, what's going down, y'all?

yall

↓

Man, Fat Abbot, what are you doing

abbot

↓

on this side of the hood?

hood side

↓

You know something, Rudy,

rudy

↓

you're like school in summertime.

school summertime

↓

School in summertime?

school summertime

↓

Yeah, bitch. School in summertime.

bitch school summertime

↓

Open your ears

ears open

↓

or I'll pop your bitchass.

↓

I'lla popa youra bitcha assa tooba, bitcha.

↓

What the hell is going on in this cartoon?

cartoon

↓

Oh, hey, Kenny, did you find any chicks

chicks kenny

↓

to come to the clubhouse?

clubhouse

↓

Uh-huh.

↓

Hi, we ran away from home.

home

↓

Like, this kid told us we might be able to

able might

↓

crash at your clubhouse for a couple of days.

clubhouse couple crash days

↓

Holy crap!

holy

↓

Behold, Ewok Village 2000!

behold village

↓

Oh, well, I guess it beats living at home.

beats home living

↓

Can I offer you ladies a cool beverage or a tasty snack?

beverage cool ladies offer snack tasty

↓

Hello?

↓

How's the clubhouse coming, Stan?

clubhouse coming stan

↓

We're working on it.

working

↓

Well, I just thought I'd tell you

↓

that me and Kenny have finished our clubhouse,

clubhouse finished kenny

↓

and we already have chicks over.

chicks

↓

No, you don't.

↓

Dude! - It's only a matter of time

matter

↓

before we're playing Truth or Dare with them.

dare playing truth

↓

Good luck with your pieceofcrap clubhouse.

clubhouse luck

↓

Asshole! - Fat ass, fat hunk of fat.

asshole hunk

↓

Mom, will you please ask Dad

↓

to come help me build my clubhouse?

build clubhouse

↓

Stanley, I think you should know

stanley

↓

that your father has moved out.

father moved

↓

What! Why?

↓

Because... We're divorced, Stanley.

divorced stanley

↓

Divorced, oh no!

divorced

↓

Does that mean you and Dad don't love me anymore?

anymore love

↓

This is all my fault, isn't it?

fault

↓

Yeah, kind of.

↓

Dude, you're not supposed to say that.

supposed

↓

But I would like you to meet your new stepfather, Roy.

meet stepfather

↓

Hello, son. - What?!

↓

I'll leave you two alone to get acquainted.

alone

↓

Hello, Stanley. I know this must be

must stanley

↓

a very difficult period for you right now,

difficult period

↓

and the adjustment is going to take some time,

adjustment

↓

but I'd like to be your friend.

friend

↓

So when you're ready, I want you to feel free

free ready

↓

to come to me with anything you might need,

might

↓

whether it's advice or just someone to play catch with.

advice catch whether

↓

You can count on me.

count

↓

This is happening way too fast.

fast

↓

Oh, Jesus, when are you going to cut me

jesus

↓

some slack, huh? I have taken you under my wing

slack taken wing

↓

and done my best, and all you ever do

best

↓

is whine and moan about it! Now, for the last time,

moan whine

↓

go cut some firewood!

firewood

↓

...So I'm on my way out the door and she goes,

door

↓

"Make sure you're home before midnight."

home midnight

↓

Oh, that's weak. - And I go,

weak

↓

"Listen, bitch, I don't need my mother

bitch mother

↓

giving me no curfew." - That's killer.

curfew giving killer

↓

And she goes, "If you're not home before midnight,

home midnight

↓

don't bother coming home at all."

bother coming coming-home home

↓

That's totally weak. - So I go,

weak

↓

"Fine, I won't come home." - Sweet.

home sweet

↓

And then she goes, "Fine don't come home."

home

↓

Getting all in my face and crap and acting all tough and crap.

acting face tough

↓

- Killer weak sweet. I'm 16,

killer sweet weak

↓

I should be able to do what I want, when I want.

able

↓

I don't need her breathing down my neck every two seconds

breathing neck seconds

↓

telling me what I can and cannot do.

cannot telling

↓

I had the same thing with my mom the other day.

↓

I'm all like, "Hey, I'm not a little kid anymore.

anymore

↓

"Mom, I'm eight years old, and if I want to finger paint,

eight eight-years finger paint years

↓

then I'm going to finger paint!"

finger paint

↓

Okay, we're done.

↓

Dude, I don't think this is very sturdy.

sturdy

↓

It doesn't matter, dude. It only has to last

matter

↓

long enough to play Truth or Dare.

dare truth

↓

I'm going to go get the girls.

girls

↓

Okay.

↓

Oh! - Stanley, it's time to go!

stanley

↓

Go where? - Your bastard father

bastard father

↓

has visitation rights, and this is his time with you.

rights visitation

↓

But, nah, I have to go get the girls to come--

girls

↓

Come on, Stanley. - Weak!

stanley weak

↓

Dad? - Hey, Stanley, hop in.

stanley

↓

Listen, Stanley, I know all this change

change stanley

↓

must be tough on you, but your mother and I thought

mother must tough

↓

it'd be best for all of us if we split up.

best split

↓

But I don't understand why we have to--

↓

Well hello, ladies!

ladies

↓

Hi, handsome, we're gonna be at Larry's Bar tonight.

handsome tonight

↓

I'm already there.

↓

What were we talking about? Oh, yeah.

↓

See, your mother and I still care about you and your sister,

care mother sister

↓

but we just don't like being around each other anymore.

anymore

↓

Well, I don't like being around my sister anymore,

anymore sister

↓

does that mean I can leave her, too?

↓

Well, no, because you're family,

family

↓

you can't just leave family. You have stick

family stick

↓

with family no matter what. But you and mom are family,

family matter

↓

how come you can just split up?

split

↓

You know what I think? I think that when you and mom

↓

got married, you became family and now that you are,

became family married

↓

you shouldn't be able to leave her any more than

able

↓

I can leave my sister. Oh, Stan, you're so young.

sister stan young

↓

You just don't get it.

↓

Well anyway, have a nice day. - What, that's it?

↓

Yeah, but I loved our time together.

loved

↓

I hate to see it end, go on, get out.

hate

↓

You know that nothing is more important to me

↓

than you, right, Stan? - I guess, but--

stan

↓

The girls are gonna be here to play Truth or Dare any minute.

dare girls minute truth

↓

Stan, if I didn't know you better,

stan

↓

I'd almost think you're doing this because

↓

you want to play with girls. - No way, dude.

girls

↓

Don't be silly. - Come on, Wendy!

silly wendy

↓

We have to say "truth" a couple of times

couple times truth

↓

before we say "dare", right? - Right, why?

dare

↓

Because if we don't, we'll seem too eager.

eager

↓

Too eager to what?

eager

↓

To say dare, dumbass, geez.

dare dumbass geez

↓

Hi guys.

↓

Oh, hi, Wendy, what's up?

wendy

↓

Don't you guys still want to play Truth or Dare?

dare truth

↓

Yeah! I mean...Sure, whatever.

↓

Then come on!

↓

Remember truth the first couple of times.

couple remember times truth

↓

Okay. - Who wants to go first?

wants

↓

I will. Kyle? - Yeah?

kyle

↓

Truth or Dare? - Um, dare?

dare truth

↓

Dude! - What?

↓

Kiss Bebe on the lips.

bebe kiss lips

↓

What? Sick, dude! I'm not kissing a girl!

girl kissing sick

↓

What's the matter, Kyle?

kyle matter

↓

It's just wrong, that's all!

↓

Don't be a chicken, dude. Just close your eyes.

chicken close eyes

↓

What the hell have you gotten me into!

gotten

↓

Dude, Cartman is in his clubhouse

cartman clubhouse

↓

playing Truth or Dare with girls right now.

dare girls playing truth

↓

Do you really want him to beat us?

beat

↓

Oh, boy.

↓

Sick! Ah, fucking sickening!

fucking sick

↓

Wow, look at that ass. Shake it, baby!

baby shake

↓

Your turn, Bebe.

bebe

↓

Okay, Stan, Truth or Dare?

dare stan truth

↓

Stan, Truth or Dare?

dare stan truth

↓

Dare.

dare

↓

Son, could you please come help me with the firewood?

firewood

↓

Dude, we cut firewood all day yesterday.

firewood yesterday

↓

We have enough to last 12 years.

years

↓

When will you let me in, let me love you!

love

↓

Now get your ass out here and help me.

↓

Bye, Stan. Hopefully we can play

hopefully stan

↓

Truth or Dare tomorrow. - Crap!

dare tomorrow truth

↓

I think you should be able to move out

able

↓

legally when you're 14.

legally

↓

Our moms won't even let us smoke.

moms smoke

↓

Yeah, it's my body.

body

↓

My mom always gives me shit for smoking, but it's my body.

body gives smoking

↓

I should be able to do whatever I want with it.

able

↓

Totally. My mom gives me shit sometimes,

gives sometimes

↓

and I tell her to shut her hole

hole

↓

before I kick her in the nuts.

kick nuts

↓

Eric, Pookums, it's time for mommy

eric mommy

↓

to tuck you into your snuggle bed for nightnight.

snuggle tuck

↓

Eric, are you out there in your clubhouse?

clubhouse eric

↓

Coming, Mom.

coming

↓

Okay, we have to play Truth or Dare, quick!

dare quick truth

↓

What's up? - Hey, girls.

girls

↓

Oh, hey, Scott.

scott

↓

Who the hell are you?

↓

Oh, we invited some people over.

invited

↓

- Hope you don't mind. - How many people?

hope mind

↓

Kyle, can I talk to you? - Okay.

kyle

↓

Kyle, this is very difficult for me.

difficult kyle

↓

I think we need time apart. - Huh?

apart

↓

I'm just feeling really trapped.

feeling trapped

↓

I can't go on with this codependency.

↓

Okay, that's fine. - No, no, don't speak.

speak

↓

Just try and understand. It has to be this way.

↓

But I don't care.

care

↓

Please, just remember the good times we had.

remember times

↓

I'll never forget you. Never.

forget

↓

Okay, Clyde, we can go now. - Bitchin'.

bitchin clyde

↓

These are cafe curtains that require no sewing

cafe curtains require sewing

↓

and I know you all love that!

love

↓

Do you mind if I watch cartoons?

cartoons mind watch watch-cartoons

↓

I've had a rough day.

rough

↓

What? - Chores. Do chores.

chores

↓

My dad lets me watch cartoons.

cartoons watch watch-cartoons

↓

Well, I'm not your dad, okay?

↓

I'm not your dad!

↓

You can't just go around playing games with my emotions.

emotions games playing playing-games

↓

Stanley,

stanley

↓

what did you do to Roy?

↓

Roy's a dick. He ruined my chances

chances dick ruined

↓

with Wendy in the clubhouse.

clubhouse wendy

↓

Stanley, you know you're the most

stanley

↓

important thing to me, right?

↓

If that's true, then get back together with Dad for me.

↓

Now, Stanley, you have to understand how divorce works.

divorce stanley works

↓

When I say you're the most important thing to me,

↓

what I mean is, you're the most important thing after me,

↓

and my happiness and my new romances.

happiness

↓

Oh. - Bye now. Roy?

↓

Divorce is stupid.

divorce stupid

↓

Hey, hey, hey. Hey, Yolanda,

↓

why's your eye all black and blue and?

black blue whys

↓

Man, Fat Abbot, my stepdad popped me in my eye.

abbot popped stepdad

↓

Stepdad? You got to off his ass.

stepdad

↓

Really? - Yeah, bitch!

bitch

↓

Snatch his ass in a bear trap.

bear bear-trap snatch trap

↓

Leave that swinging from a tree so high,

swinging tree

↓

nobody finds him for days.

days finds nobody

↓

Glockglock, you know what I'm saying?

↓

Dumbass, pulling, damn!

dumbass pulling

↓

You're right, Fat Abbot, thanks!

abbot thanks

↓

No problem, ho'. Maybe later you can

problem

↓

suck my, bitch ho'.

bitch suck

↓

Well, Fat Abbot and the gang sure did

abbot gang

↓

learn something today.

learn today

↓

If you have a stepdad riding your ass,

riding stepdad

↓

just snatch his ass in a bear trap.

bear bear-trap snatch trap

↓

Crack, no more stepdad.

crack stepdad

↓

See you next time, eating the pudding.

eating pudding

↓

Yeah, yeah, I think I'll write a little note for Roy.

note write

↓

Hey, kid, give me some of those.

↓

Hey, when are we gonna play Truth or Dare?

dare truth

↓

What? That game's for kids.

games kids

↓

This is bullcrap! - Oh, boy, it's getting late.

bullcrap late

↓

I'm gonna have to leave this party.

party

↓

This sucks, Kenny.

kenny sucks

↓

I wish we'd never built a clubhouse.

built clubhouse wish

↓

Mosh pit!

↓

Hmm?

↓

Oh, my God, they killed Kenny!

kenny killed killed-kenny

↓

You bastards!

bastards

↓

Stanley, your father is coming over for visitation.

coming father stanley visitation

↓

Stan?

stan

↓

"Meet me in the clubhouse."

clubhouse meet

↓

Sharon, Sharon, have you seen my copy of "Harper's"?

copy seen sharon

↓

"Meet me at the clubhouse."

clubhouse meet

↓

Oh, Randy, what are you doing here?

randy

↓

I, uh, got a note from Stanley

note stanley

↓

to come out to the clubhouse.

clubhouse

↓

Oh, I thought that note was for me.

note

↓

Oh, maybe it was.

↓

Well, it looks like our little Stanley

stanley

↓

has built himself quite a clubhouse here.

built clubhouse

↓

I remember not too long ago we were just kids

kids remember

↓

playing kissing games in my clubhouse.

clubhouse games kissing playing

↓

Good night.

night

↓

Sharon? - Yes?

sharon

↓

Truth or Dare. - It's too late for games.

dare games late truth

↓

No, I'm serious, please. Truth or Dare?

dare serious truth

↓

Truth. - Do you still love me?

love truth

↓

Oh, Randy, I do love you, but now I'm so confused.

confused love randy

↓

I'm living with Roy, and I don't know

living

↓

how to break it off with him.

break

↓

Sharon?

sharon

↓

Well, you never know.

↓

Maybe things will work out.

↓

Hello? - Maybe.

↓

I guess it's my turn. - Truth or Dare?

dare truth

↓

- Sharon? - Dare...

dare sharon

↓

Do me, right here in the clubhouse.

clubhouse

↓

Hello, hello?

↓

Can somebody cut me-- Hello?

somebody

↓

Wow, clubhouses are magical.

clubhouses magical

↓

Okay, it's my turn. Stan, Truth or Dare?

dare stan truth

↓

Dare.

dare

↓

Take this stick and jam it up your peehole.

stick

↓

What!? - Wow, that sucks!

sucks

↓

Do you think it'll hurt?

hurt itll

↓

Hello?

↓

I sure am hungry.

hungry

↓

Anybody?

anybody

↓

It certainly does suck right here.

certainly suck

↓

Hello?

↓

Sh-Sh-Sharon?

sharon

↓

Sharon, hello?

sharon