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Home » South Park » S02E10 — Chickenpox

South Park

Season 2, Episode 10 — Chickenpox

TMDB episode metadata

Show: South Park

Episode title: Chickenpox

Air date: August 26, 1998

Director: Trey Parker

Top billed cast: Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Isaac Hayes, Mary Kay Bergman, Jennifer Howell

Cartman's mother plots to give the boys the chickenpox by sending them over to Kenny's for a sleepover. Both Stan and Cartman breakout, but Kyle remains immune. Kyle discovers "the parental conspiracy" and with the other boys hires a prostitute to give their parents herpes. Meanwhile, Kenny's mother and Kyle's mother reunite their husbands who were both childhood friends that drifted apart.

Source: TMDB

↓

What a great episode.

episode

↓

Yep, and we're back just in time to check up

check

↓

on Northern Wyoming bacon loaf.

bacon loaf northern wyoming

↓

Say, that looks bacon-licious.

bacon licious

↓

Now all we have to do is garnish.

garnish

↓

Hey, Macon's going crazy.

crazy macons

↓

Hold on, buddy. This one's for you.

buddy ones

↓

Okay.

↓

Here's a nice fresh bacon loaf, just for Macon.

bacon fresh loaf macon

↓

Whoa, hold on there, buddy.

buddy whoa

↓

Not too fast now. Okay, all right, hey.

fast

↓

- Well, all that bacon grease can't go to waste,

bacon grease waste

↓

so what I do is, I pour it into ice pop makers, like this.

makers pour

↓

- That's right, you see, bacon grease congeals,

bacon grease

↓

so if you pour it in and you wait long enough...

pour

↓

bacon pops!

bacon pops

↓

Who'd like to try one?

whod

↓

You, come on up.

↓

Come over here, you. Do you like bacon?

bacon

↓

Yeah. - Well, give that a try.

↓

How is it? - It's bacon-licious.

bacon licious

↓

Well, now it's time to watch our favorite episode

episode favorite favorite-episode watch

↓

of "South Park." It's called "Chickenpox."

called chickenpox park south south-park

↓

You see, chickenpox affects you worse the older you get.

affects chickenpox older worse

↓

So when I was young, my mom would make me sleep over

sleep young

↓

at friends' houses when they had chickenpox

chickenpox friends houses

↓

in hopes that I would get the dreaded disease

disease hopes

↓

while I was still a child.

child

↓

Well, in this episode, the boys

boys episode

↓

also learn a valuable lesson

learn lesson valuable valuable-lesson

↓

when they hire a prostitute with cold sores

cold hire prostitute sores

↓

to give their parents herpes.

herpes parents

↓

So grab a bacon pop, sit back, and enjoy...

bacon enjoy grab

↓

"Chickenpox."

chickenpox

↓

♪ I'm going down to South Park ♪

park south south-park

↓

♪ Gonna have myself a time ♪

↓

♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪

faces friendly friendly-faces

↓

♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪

folks humble humble-folks temptation

↓

♪ Going down to South Park ♪

park south south-park

↓

♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪

behind woes woes-behind

↓

♪ Ample parking day or night ♪

ample ample-parking night parking

↓

♪ People spouting: "Howdy neighbor!" ♪

howdy howdy-neighbor neighbor spouting spouting-howdy spouting-howdy-neighbor

↓

♪ Headed on up to South Park ♪

headed park south south-park

↓

♪ Gonna see if I can't unwind ♪

unwind

↓

♪ So come on down to South Park ♪

park south south-park

↓

♪ And meet some friends of mine ♪

friends meet

↓

It's a good thing we got her to the hospital in time.

hospital

↓

But what's wrong with her? - It's chickenpox.

chickenpox

↓

There seems to be a small epidemic going around.

epidemic seems

↓

Your daughter never had the chickenpox

chickenpox daughter

↓

as a little girl, I take it?

girl

↓

No, no, she's been perfectly healthy.

healthy perfectly

↓

Well, that's the problem.

problem

↓

You see chickenpox is a pretty normal thing

chickenpox normal

↓

with young children, but as you get older

children older young

↓

it becomes more and more a ferocious disease.

becomes disease

↓

Shelley, looks who's come to visit you.

shelley visit

↓

Your little brother Stan.

brother stan

↓

Oh, whoopee!

whoopee

↓

You know, most people don't realize

realize

↓

that chickenpox is actually a form of herpes.

chickenpox form herpes

↓

Dude, you got herpes on your face!

face herpes

↓

Shut up, brat!

brat

↓

Will my daughter be okay?

daughter

↓

She'll be fine.

shell

↓

Stop it!

↓

We just want to be cautious and monitor her here.

cautious monitor

↓

Come on, Stanley, give your sister a kiss,

kiss sister stanley

↓

and then we have to go.

↓

And then the doctor said that

doctor

↓

it's much worse as you get older.

older worse

↓

My daughter is in pretty bad shape now,

daughter shape

↓

but if she were in her 20s, she could die!

↓

My God, I never knew the chickenpox

chickenpox

↓

was such a dangerous illness.

dangerous illness

↓

I guess it's much better to get it when you're young.

young

↓

So tell me if I'm crazy but I started thinking that we should

crazy started thinking

↓

intentionally have our boys play with a child

boys child intentionally

↓

who has the chickenpox.

chickenpox

↓

Let them get it now while they're young.

young

↓

That's not crazy at all, Sharon.

crazy sharon

↓

Mothers do it all the time.

mothers

↓

Ooh yes, when I was a child, my mother had me go over

child mother

↓

to a little girl's house who had the chickenpox

chickenpox girls house

↓

just so I would get it.

↓

So it's not such a crazy idea after all.

crazy crazy-idea idea

↓

No, no! And I'm pretty sure that

↓

strange little boy Kenny has the chickenpox right now.

chickenpox kenny strange

↓

Are you guys having a meeting or something?

having meeting

↓

How would you boys like to have a little slumber party

boys party slumber

↓

at your little friend Kenny's house tonight?

friend house house-tonight kennys kennys-house tonight

↓

No way dude, Kenny's family is poor.

family kennys kennys-family poor

↓

They live in the ghetto.

ghetto live

↓

Yeah, let's just have a slumber party here.

party slumber

↓

Boys, you're going to sleep over

boys sleep

↓

at Kenny's, and that's final.

final kennys

↓

Oh, weak!

weak

↓

I wonder why our moms want us to sleep over

moms sleep wonder

↓

at Kenny's so bad. - Yeah, it's pretty weird.

kennys weird

↓

- Well, all I can say is he better have Nintendo.

nintendo

↓

Well, here's Kenny's house.

house kennys kennys-house

↓

- ♪ In the ghetto ♪

ghetto

↓

♪ On the cold and gray Chicago morning ♪

chicago cold gray morning

↓

♪ Another little baby child is born ♪

another baby born child

↓

♪ In the ghetto, in the ghetto ♪

ghetto

↓

Yeah?

↓

We're here to have a slumber party with Kenny.

kenny party slumber

↓

What? Don't you know Kenny's sick with--

kennys sick

↓

That's the whole point, remember?

point remember whole whole-point

↓

Their moms want them to catch it while they're young.

catch moms young

↓

Oh, yeah. - Catch what?

catch

↓

Nothing. Come on in. I was just making dinner.

dinner

↓

♪ And his mama cries ♪

cries mama

↓

♪ 'Cause if there's one thing that she don't need ♪

↓

♪ It's another little hungry mouth to feed ♪

another feed hungry mouth

↓

♪ In the ghetto, in the ghetto ♪

ghetto

↓

Shh! Cartman! - What?

cartman

↓

Kenny! Your little friends are here!

friends kenny

↓

Come play with them!

↓

I know you're sick. Now get your buns out here!

buns sick

↓

Buns.

buns

↓

Hey, you guys, what's going on?

↓

Whoa dude! You got herpes on your face too!

face herpes whoa

↓

Where is the Nintendo?

nintendo

↓

We don't have a Nintendo.

nintendo

↓

We got a ColecoVision plugged in to the black and white TV.

black plugged white

↓

Oh, my God, this is like a third-world country.

country third third-world third-world-country world world-country

↓

Throw your sleeping bags in Kenny's room

bags kennys room sleeping throw

↓

and then come grab some dinner.

dinner grab

↓

Oh good, I'm starving.

starving

↓

Let's say grace.

grace

↓

Lord, we thank you for this staggering payload

lord

↓

of frozen waffles you have bestowed upon us.

bestowed frozen frozen-waffles waffles

↓

And since we have been faithful to you,

faithful

↓

we know that you will send us some good fortune

fortune send

↓

one of these days, even though you sure as hell

days

↓

seem to be taking your sweet time.

sweet

↓

- Amen. - Amen.

amen amen-amen

↓

Okay, let's dig in.

↓

That one's mine! That one's mine!

ones

↓

What kind of side dishes will we be enjoying this evening

dishes enjoying evening side

↓

with our frozen waffles?

frozen frozen-waffles waffles

↓

Am I to understand there will be no side dishes?

dishes side

↓

- So Kyle, your dad still bringing home

bringing home kyle

↓

those big, fat lawyer paychecks?

lawyer paychecks

↓

I don't know. - Stewart,

stewart

↓

don't even get started.

started

↓

What? I'm just asking a question.

asking question

↓

You know your dad and I used to be best friends

best best-friends friends used

↓

when we were teenagers.

teenagers

↓

We even worked together at Pizza Shack.

pizza shack worked

↓

But he got promoted, went off to community college,

college community community-college promoted

↓

and I didn't.

↓

And you know why?

↓

'Cause your dad's Jewish!

dads jewish

↓

Heh. I heard that.

heard

↓

That ain't why, Stewart!

aint stewart

↓

It's because you are an alcoholic retard,

alcoholic retard

↓

and he had dreams of not eating frozen waffles

dreams eating frozen frozen-waffles waffles

↓

for dinner every night!

dinner night

↓

Hey, is it my fault you don't know how to cook?

cook fault

↓

What am I supposed to do with frozen waffles, clamhead?

frozen frozen-waffles supposed waffles

↓

You put 'em in the toaster, you cook em!

cook toaster

↓

You just don't know how to use spices and stuff.

spices stuff

↓

My waffle's done! My waffle's done!

waffles

↓

- Now, Kevin, we ain't got enough for everybody.

aint everybody kevin

↓

You have to split that with your brother.

brother split

↓

Oh Jesus, are you fucking kidding me?

fucking fucking-kidding jesus kidding

↓

Hey! We don't say fuck at the table,

fuck table

↓

you little asshole!

asshole

↓

Yeah, we apparently don't say "side dishes" either.

apparently dishes side

↓

Kenny, honey,

honey kenny

↓

if you're gonna sneeze, sneeze on them.

sneeze

↓

Huh?

↓

Hey!

↓

Man, your family sucks ass, Kenny.

family kenny sucks

↓

Whoever heard of frozen waffles for dinner?

dinner frozen frozen-waffles heard waffles

↓

Come on, let's just get in our sleeping bags

bags sleeping

↓

and get this night over with.

night

↓

Cartman, what the hell is that?

cartman

↓

It's my Urkel sleeping bag. Isn't it cool?

cool sleeping urkel

↓

No, it's not cool!

cool

↓

Dude, I think I just saw a rat.

↓

Ah! You have rats in your house, too, Kenny?

house kenny rats

↓

Mm-hmm. - Dude, seriously,

↓

you better stop being so poor

poor

↓

or else I'm gonna start hocking rocks at ya.

rocks start

↓

I don't think it's very healthy to sleep with rats.

healthy rats sleep

↓

Oh.

↓

Okay, let me see.

↓

Oh, goody, you've got a fever!

fever goody

↓

Goody? What do you mean goody?

goody

↓

Yep, it looks like you've got chickenpox, all right.

chickenpox

↓

Chickenp--Oh no!

↓

I must've caught it from Kenny last night.

caught kenny mustve night

↓

Oh gee, I guess you did.

↓

Well, you sure seem happy about it.

happy

↓

All right, it's off to bed with you, young man.

young

↓

Don't scratch it, hon.

scratch

↓

But, Mom, seriously, it itches.

itches

↓

I can't stand it!

stand

↓

No, hon. - Mom, seriously!

↓

I got you some calamine lotion.

calamine calamine-lotion lotion

↓

I don't wanna!

↓

It'll make your itches go away.

itches itll

↓

Ahh. Hey, give me that!

↓

- Not too much, hon.

↓

It says on the bottle that too much can be bad.

bottle

↓

More calamine lotion!

calamine calamine-lotion lotion

↓

I don't understand it, he's perfectly healthy.

healthy perfectly

↓

Yeah, I feel great.

↓

Are you sure you stayed over at Kenny's house?

house kennys kennys-house stayed

↓

Yeah dude. I told you we had bread sandwiches for breakfast.

bread breakfast sandwiches

↓

Did you sleep in the same room?

room sleep

↓

Yes, why?

↓

Bubie, how would you like to spend the night

night spend

↓

at your friend Kenny's house again?

friend house kennys kennys-house

↓

No way, dude, it sucked ass.

sucked

↓

They didn't even have cable.

cable

↓

Well, I think you need to spend more time

spend

↓

with your friends.

friends

↓

Kenny's not really my friend, Ma.

friend kennys

↓

I don't give a rat's ass about him.

rats

↓

I'm gonna give Mrs. McCormick a call.

mccormick

↓

Ahh. Hey dad, is it true

↓

that you and Kenny's dad used to be best friends

best best-friends friends kennys used

↓

when you were young?

young

↓

Who Stewart? Yeah, yeah, I guess we were.

stewart

↓

Well, how come Kenny's family

family kennys kennys-family

↓

eats frozen waffles for dinner and has rats on the floor,

dinner eats floor frozen frozen-waffles rats waffles

↓

and we have a big house and lots of food?

food house lots

↓

- Well, because Kenny's family

family kennys kennys-family

↓

doesn't have as much money as we do.

money

↓

But why? If they're hungry and poor,

hungry poor

↓

why don't we just always give them half of our food?

food half

↓

Oh, boy, have you got a lot to learn.

learn

↓

Sit down, son.

↓

You see, Kyle, we humans work as a society.

humans kyle society

↓

And in order for a society to thrive,

order society thrive

↓

we need Gods and clods.

clods gods

↓

Gods and clods? - Yes.

clods gods

↓

You see, I spent a lot of time going to law school

school spent

↓

and I was able to go because I have

able

↓

a slightly higher intellect than others.

higher intellect others slightly

↓

But I still need people to pump my gas

pump

↓

and make my French fries

french french-fries fries

↓

and fix my laundry machine when it breaks down.

breaks laundry machine

↓

Oh, I see. Gods and clods.

clods gods

↓

That's right, so Kenny's family

family kennys kennys-family

↓

is happy just the way they are.

happy

↓

And we're all a functioning part of America.

america part

↓

Stanley, can I get you anything else?

stanley

↓

Stanley? Oh my God.

stanley

↓

Randy! Randy, hurry! He's burning up!

burning hurry randy randy-randy

↓

Don't you worry, Stanley; you're going to be okay.

stanley worry

↓

Can I talk to you outside?

↓

Kids, Daddy and I are gonna be right back, okay?

daddy kids

↓

Okay. - Serves you right,

serves

↓

you little brat.

brat

↓

At least I'm not gonna die from it like you might!

least might

↓

If I die from this,

↓

I'm taking you with me!

↓

Will Carol find out she's a fireman?

carol fireman

↓

I don't wanna watch this.

watch

↓

I wanna watch "Terrance & Phillip."

phillip terrance watch watch-terrance

↓

- We're watching this.

watching

↓

Well, I've got the remote, bitch!

bitch remote

↓

Say, Terrance, would you check my ass for abnormalities?

check terrance

↓

Sure thing, Phillip.

phillip

↓

- You got me again!

↓

That's tomfoolery.

↓

Give me the remote. - No way, dude.

remote

↓

We're gonna watch "Terrance & Phillip" all day.

phillip terrance watch watch-terrance

↓

Hey! Get me outta here!

outta

↓

She was a-- - He'll be okay.

↓

But it's a good idea for us to monitor him for a while.

idea monitor

↓

Oh God, what have we done?

↓

There, there now, it's not your fault.

fault

↓

Doctor, we purposely sent our son to stay with a friend

doctor friend purposely sent

↓

who had chickenpox so that he would get it early.

chickenpox early

↓

Ooh, wow, you did?

↓

Wow, you guys suck.

suck

↓

Can we go home now, Mom?

home

↓

No bubula, you play with Kenny some more.

kenny

↓

But we've been playing for 8 hours!

hours playing

↓

We can't think of anything else to do.

↓

I've got a great game for you!

game

↓

It's called Ookie Mouth. - What's Ookie Mouth?

called mouth

↓

First you let Kenny spit in your mouth.

kenny mouth spit

↓

Then you try to swallow his spit

spit swallow

↓

and try to say "Ookie Mouth" at the same time.

mouth

↓

Sick, dude! - No, no, boobie.

sick

↓

It's loads of fun. Try it!

fun loads

↓

That outta take care of it.

care outta

↓

You want some more hot water?

water

↓

Oh no thank you. It's terrific, though.

terrific

↓

You don't have any teabags or coffee grounds

coffee grounds

↓

to go in the hot water do you?

water

↓

No, we don't care for that hoity-toity, rich folk stuff.

care folk rich stuff

↓

I see; well, you certainly have a humble home,

certainly home humble

↓

Mrs. McCormick.

mccormick

↓

Yeah, well, unfortunately my husband

husband unfortunately

↓

is a washed-up hunk of shit!

hunk washed

↓

Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.

↓

Gross! I can't do it, Ma!

gross

↓

Try again, bubie!

↓

Ahh!

↓

You know, your husband and mine

husband

↓

used to work together as teenagers.

teenagers used

↓

Oh, they was best friends. You couldn't separate 'em.

best best-friends friends separate

↓

Really?

↓

I met Gerald in college, so I didn't know.

college gerald

↓

What happened to them?

happened

↓

Oh, they just grew apart, I guess.

apart grew

↓

I think Stewart's a little jealous that your husband got

husband jealous

↓

out of making pizzas and went on

pizzas

↓

to make something of hisself.

↓

Well, that's too bad.

↓

I'm sure your husband is a fine man.

husband

↓

Oh, hell no. He's a nugget of deer turd.

deer nugget turd

↓

But if they were such good friends,

friends

↓

it seems silly that they don't even talk anymore.

anymore seems silly

↓

Let's get them together. - I don't know.

↓

We'll just arrange a little fishing trip

arrange fishing trip

↓

for them or something.

↓

I can't say "Ookie Mouth" and have Kenny

kenny mouth

↓

spit down my throat at the same time.

spit throat

↓

It's impossible.

impossible

↓

Practice makes perfect, boobie.

makes perfect practice

↓

God damn it, where's that calamine lotion?

calamine calamine-lotion lotion

↓

Phillip, I got good news and bad news.

news phillip

↓

Give it to me straight, Terrance.

straight terrance

↓

The good news is you have a clean bill of health.

bill clean health news

↓

Oh, what a relief!

relief

↓

The bad news is you have cancer.

cancer news

↓

- Cancer?

cancer

↓

Yes, I'm afraid your ass is collapsing.

afraid collapsing

↓

My ass is collapsing!

collapsing

↓

Yes. See this x-ray? That's your ass.

↓

See that line? That's your ass collapsing.

collapsing line

↓

Your ass is collapsing!

collapsing

↓

Will this mean I won't be able to fart anymore?

able anymore fart

↓

No, it means you won't be able to live anymore.

able anymore live

↓

Oh, no.

↓

Damn it!

↓

- No, kitty that's a-- wait a minute.

kitty minute

↓

Come here, kitty.

kitty

↓

Yes, yes.

↓

I'm back, hon. I got some more calamine lotion.

calamine calamine-lotion lotion

↓

It's about friggin' time! Give me that!

friggin

↓

Just use a little bit of that stuff, hon.

stuff

↓

It has to last a while.

↓

Gimme.

↓

Gimme.

↓

Yes...

↓

Oh, you guys, seriously...

↓

I didn't know you liked to fish, Gerry.

fish gerry liked

↓

Oh yeah, I love it.

love

↓

I haven't done it for a while, though.

↓

I had to run out a buy a few things.

↓

You know, a rod and a reel and a...

reel

↓

Tackle box? - Yeah! Tackle box.

tackle

↓

Man, smell that mountain air.

mountain smell

↓

What a great Saturday morning. Aren't weekends just the best?

best morning saturday weekends

↓

When you're unemployed, weekends are meaningless.

meaningless unemployed weekends

↓

Right, right, right.

↓

And so, children, that's how you tell

children

↓

a prostitute from a policeman.

policeman prostitute

↓

Now, are there any questions?

questions

↓

Yes, Kyle.

kyle

↓

What the hell does that have to do with American history?

american history

↓

That's a good question, Kyle.

kyle question

↓

Are there any other questions?

questions

↓

Mr. Garrison, I'm the only one here.

garrison

↓

Everyone else has chicken herpes.

chicken herpes

↓

Right, right.

↓

Well, class, I'm gonna assign you all a paper.

assign class paper

↓

The theme of the paper will be

paper theme

↓

"How I would make America better."

america

↓

What? Does everybody have to do it or just me?

everybody

↓

Don't worry, Kyle, I'm sending homework

homework kyle sending worry

↓

to all the children who are out sick.

children sick

↓

They'll have to turn in a paper, too.

paper

↓

Homework? But I'm in the hospital!

homework hospital

↓

Well, your teacher sent this stuff over

sent stuff teacher

↓

for you to do while you're sick.

sick

↓

That son of a bitch! What kind of sick weirdo is he?

bitch sick weirdo

↓

Now, Stanley, I know at your age

stanley

↓

teachers can seem cold and heartless,

cold heartless teachers

↓

but later you'll understand

↓

that he did this for your own good.

↓

Not Mr. Garrison, Ma. He really is a sick weirdo.

garrison sick weirdo

↓

Yeah, it's true, he is. - Oh.

↓

Well, anyway, here's a pencil and some paper.

paper pencil

↓

Wait, where are you going?

↓

We're going down to, uh, Happy Burger

burger happy happy-burger

↓

for some milkshakes. - Milkshakes?

↓

Yeah, and then we're going to the movies.

movies

↓

See ya, son. - Weak.

weak

↓

"So this is how America works.

america works

↓

"We have Gods and clods.

clods gods

↓

"My dad says America needs both rich and poor to survive,

america america-needs needs poor rich survive

↓

but I have a better idea."

idea

↓

No, I don't understand it, Dr. Schwartz;

schwartz

↓

he's perfectly healthy.

healthy perfectly

↓

He's been over at Kenny's house three days in a row

days house kennys kennys-house three three-days

↓

and still hasn't caught the chickenpox.

caught chickenpox

↓

What? - I don't know what else to do.

↓

We sent the other boys over and they all got sick,

boys sent sick

↓

but I can't get my little Kyle to catch it.

catch kyle

↓

Oh, my God! - Kyle!

kyle

↓

What are you doing there, honey?

honey

↓

You!

↓

I'll call you back, Dr. Schwartz.

schwartz

↓

You! - What, bubula? What is it?

↓

You sent us over to Kenny's house on purpose!

house kennys kennys-house purpose sent

↓

You wanted us to get sick!

sick wanted

↓

Oy. It was for your own good, Kyle.

kyle

↓

I wanted you to get chickenpox while you were young.

chickenpox wanted young

↓

Why? So I could be sitting in the hospital

hospital sitting

↓

waiting to die like Stan?

stan waiting

↓

Now, Kyle, come here.

kyle

↓

You get away from me, you crazy woman!

crazy woman

↓

Oh boy.

↓

Beer? - Huh?

beer

↓

Oh, no thanks, I brought my own.

brought thanks

↓

Microbrew sampler from Aspen.

aspen microbrew

↓

Has six different beers from local breweries.

beers local

↓

Say, remember that time we built

built remember

↓

the fort in your mom's backyard?

backyard fort moms

↓

Yeah.

↓

It took us damned near two years to finish it.

damned finish near years

↓

Whatever happened to that old hunk of junk?

happened hunk junk

↓

That's where I live now.

live

↓

Oh, right.

↓

"And so that's why 'Nightrider'

↓

was the best show in America."

america best

↓

Stan, Stan! - Shh!

stan stan-stan

↓

Wake her up, and we're both dead.

dead wake

↓

Sorry, sorry, you know how after we spent the night

night spent

↓

at Kenny's house and you and Cartman

cartman house kennys kennys-house

↓

got sick with chickenpox?

chickenpox sick

↓

Yeah? - Dude.

↓

Our parents sent us over there to get us sick.

parents parents-sent sent sick

↓

What are you talking about?

↓

They knew that staying at Kenny's house

house kennys kennys-house staying

↓

would make us sick and they made us do it anyway.

sick

↓

They did? - Yeah.

↓

And I think I figured out why. - Why?

figured

↓

Because they're a bunch of assholes.

assholes bunch

↓

Of course!

course

↓

Come on, dude, we gotta get outta here.

outta

↓

I don't know what they're planning next,

planning

↓

but it can't be good.

↓

"I hope that one day

hope

↓

"America can be more like Endor

america endor

↓

"where the Ewoks live.

live

↓

Endor is very cool."

cool endor

↓

Mom, answer that!

answer

↓

"They have trees and Ewoks and barbeques,

trees

↓

"which is why I like Endor more than America.

america endor

↓

It's... cool."

cool

↓

Cartman, you remember how we all spent the night

cartman night remember spent

↓

at Kenny's a couple of days ago?

couple days kennys

↓

I remember frozen waffles with no side dishes.

dishes frozen frozen-waffles remember side waffles

↓

Cartman, our parents sent us over there

cartman parents parents-sent sent

↓

to catch chickenpox from Kenny.

catch chickenpox kenny

↓

Yeah, dude.

↓

Your mom wanted you to have herpes on your face.

face herpes wanted

↓

She what?

↓

It's some kind of parental conspiracy.

conspiracy parental

↓

Our parents are trying to kill us or something.

kill parents

↓

- That bitch!

bitch

↓

I'm gonna go downstairs and kick her square in the nuts!

downstairs kick nuts square

↓

- No, no, no, no. Come on, fatass.

fatass

↓

We're gonna get em all back.

↓

Well, I'm sure you'll find another job soon.

another

↓

Something will come along.

along

↓

It's not that easy. You were lucky.

easy lucky

↓

Now now, I wasn't lucky. - You had rich parents.

lucky parents rich

↓

You got to go to that expensive community college.

college community community-college expensive

↓

Hey! I worked my ass off to get to where I am today.

today worked

↓

I wanted to be somebody! - I wanted to be somebody, too!

somebody wanted

↓

I just wasn't born with a silver enema up my ass!

born silver

↓

You're just jealous!

jealous

↓

You're a bitter old drunk just like your father!

bitter drunk father

↓

Oww!

↓

Now, don't make me do that again.

↓

Oww! You son of a bitch!

bitch

↓

Doctor?

doctor

↓

Yes. - Where's Stan?

stan

↓

Stan?

stan

↓

Stan, our son. - Oh, yes, where is Stan?

stan

↓

You mean Stanley's missing?

missing stanleys

↓

No no, he's not missing.

missing

↓

We just--can't seem to find him at this moment.

moment

↓

Oh, my God, our son ran away!

↓

Will he be okay out of the hospital?

hospital

↓

Oh, sure, sure.

↓

But we have to get him back soon; if he doesn't get

↓

his antibiotic shot today, he could die.

shot today

↓

Die? - Yes, die.

↓

It won't be an easy death either.

death easy

↓

The chickenpox will slowly move down his trachea

chickenpox slowly

↓

into his lungs.

lungs

↓

Okay, well, let's go look.

↓

she chokes for breath, the pox will move

breath chokes

↓

through his inner ear into his brain

brain inner

↓

making him think he's David Duchovny.

david

↓

Oh, God, no!

↓

I'm sure he couldn't have gone far.

gone

↓

Now moving on all fours and wheezing uncontrollably

fours moving wheezing

↓

his cellular structure will regress

structure

↓

in a gelatinous mass of--

mass

↓

So how was it? Did you boys have a good time fishing?

boys fishing

↓

- That son of a bitch ripped my parka!

bitch ripped

↓

Catch anything?

catch

↓

I just don't get it.

↓

Why would he invite me fishing

fishing invite

↓

and then turn into a complete bastard?

bastard complete

↓

Well darling, I have to tell you something.

darling

↓

He didn't invite you; I set the whole thing up.

invite whole

↓

What? Now, why the hell would you

↓

knowingly deceive me like that?

↓

I thought it would be good for you.

↓

Just like you deceived our son

deceived

↓

into going to Kenny's, and that didn't work either!

kennys

↓

I'm doing the best I can!

best

↓

"My Final Solution" by Kyle Broflovski.

broflovski final kyle solution

↓

My dad is the smartest guy in the whole wide world.

smartest whole whole-wide whole-wide-world wide wide-world world

↓

He has taught me that all poor people

poor taught

↓

are actually things called clods.

called clods

↓

I wanna live in a world of only Gods,

gods live world

↓

so my idea to make America better,

america idea

↓

is to put all poor people into camps.

camps poor

↓

What? - If we get rid of them,

↓

there will be nothing but rich people;

rich

↓

and there won't be any hunger, poverty, or homeless people,

homeless hunger poverty

↓

'cause they'll all be dead. The end.

dead

↓

Oh, God, what have I done?

↓

What's happening here, Terrance?

terrance

↓

We're doing an anal transplant;

anal transplant

↓

it's our only hope. - Who's the donor?

donor hope

↓

I am Phillip. I am.

phillip

↓

Terrance, you're giving up your ass for me?

giving terrance

↓

Just half my ass. Can you believe it, Phillip?

believe half phillip

↓

Here we are, best friends,

best best-friends friends

↓

and now we're going to share the same ass.

share

↓

Oh damn it! Not now!

↓

Damn it!

↓

Children, what are you doing here?

children

↓

Terrance and Phillip are about to go into surgery!

phillip surgery terrance

↓

Chef, we wanna know about herpes.

chef herpes

↓

What makes you think I would know anything about that?

makes

↓

I dunno, you're just the only grownup we trust.

dunno trust

↓

How does someone get herpes?

herpes

↓

Well, you get it by sharing relations

relations sharing

↓

with somebody who already has it.

somebody

↓

You have to be very careful around someone who has herpes.

careful herpes

↓

- Do you know anybody with herpes?

anybody herpes

↓

Well, there's old Frida, down on Main Street.

main street

↓

She has a mouthful of herpes.

herpes mouthful

↓

You need to stay away from her.

↓

But what if we want to give somebody herpes?

herpes somebody

↓

Oh, then Frida's the right person to go to.

person

↓

Cool! Thanks, Chef!

chef cool cool-thanks thanks thanks-chef

↓

Okay!

↓

Wait a minute. What the hell did I just do?

minute

↓

Stanley? - Stan?

stan stanley

↓

Oh, Stanley, where are you?

stanley

↓

Stan? - Stanley!

stan stanley

↓

Are you old Frida? - Who wants to know?

wants

↓

Someone who wants a favor.

favor wants

↓

Ten dollars a lay, five dollars a nut.

dollars five five-dollars

↓

Huh?

↓

We want you to give our parents herpes.

herpes parents

↓

Five dollars.

dollars five five-dollars

↓

My dad has $5 on top of his dresser.

dresser

↓

Stan you sound pretty sick.

sick sound stan

↓

Maybe you should go back to the hospital.

hospital

↓

And have Shelley kick my ass? No thanks.

kick shelley thanks

↓

Plus, I got to get my parents back just as much as you do.

parents plus

↓

♪ I thought love was only true in fairy tales ♪

fairy love tales

↓

♪ Meant for someone else, but not for me ♪

meant

↓

♪ Love was out to get me ♪

love

↓

♪ That's the way it seemed ♪

seemed

↓

♪ Disappointment haunted all my dreams ♪

disappointment dreams haunted

↓

♪ Then I saw her face ♪

face

↓

♪ Now I'm a believer ♪

believer

↓

♪ Not a trace ♪

trace

↓

♪ Of doubt in my mind ♪

doubt mind

↓

♪ I'm in love ♪

love

↓

♪ I'm believer ♪

believer

↓

♪ I couldn't leave her if I tried ♪

tried

↓

♪ Oh ♪

↓

Thanks a lot, Frida.

thanks

↓

Don't mention it.

mention

↓

Dude, this is gonna be so killer.

killer

↓

They're all gonna get herpes.

herpes

↓

Hooray!

hooray

↓

Stanley, where the hell have you been?

stanley

↓

Damn it, Stanley, you had us worried sick!

sick stanley worried worried-sick

↓

You have to get back to the hospital for a shot.

hospital shot

↓

I don't wanna go back there.

↓

Come on, we're taking you back to the hospital.

hospital

↓

Don't you guys feel like brushing your teeth first?

brushing teeth

↓

What?

↓

You know, freshen up your breath.

breath

↓

Oh man, I don't feel so good.

↓

Oh good, maybe you finally caught the chicken--

caught chicken finally finally-caught

↓

Kyle!

kyle

↓

Well, I hope you boys learned your lesson.

boys hope learned lesson

↓

Going out and playing around with chickenpox

chickenpox playing

↓

almost killed you all. - We're sorry.

killed

↓

- Well, just be thankful we got you here in time.

thankful

↓

Your parents are here to see you.

parents

↓

I'll send them in. - This itches.

itches send

↓

Give me some of that calamine lotion, Cartman.

calamine calamine-lotion cartman lotion

↓

- Hell no, you guys get your own.

↓

- Stanley, how are you feeling today, son?

feeling stanley today

↓

- Pretty good.

↓

The doctor says that maybe you can go home tomorrow.

doctor home home-tomorrow tomorrow

↓

Yeah, isn't that great, Stanley?

stanley

↓

Wow, cool! - And how are you, Kyle?

cool kyle

↓

Are you doing okay? - I'm better now.

↓

What's so funny, you two?

funny

↓

We gave you guys herpes.

herpes

↓

What? What? what? You did this?

↓

We got you back for getting us sick.

sick

↓

We had a prostitute use your toothbrushes and stuff.

prostitute stuff

↓

I can't believe you gave us herpes.

believe herpes

↓

You little rascals!

rascals

↓

Well, I guess it serves us right.

serves

↓

Kids, we should've been honest

honest kids shouldve

↓

about wanting you to get chickenpox.

chickenpox wanting

↓

It's true; we were wrong for deceiving you about it.

↓

Hey, how come you don't have sores on your lips, Mom?

lips sores

↓

Ooh, I have them somewhere else, poopykins.

↓

Hooray!

hooray

↓

And, uh, Stewart, I think I owe you an apology.

apology stewart

↓

I've realized I shouldn't be so cold

cold realized

↓

towards people that are less fortunate than me.

fortunate less

↓

Oh hell, I'm sorry, too.

↓

Oh, Phillip, I'm so glad everything

glad phillip

↓

turned out for the better.

turned

↓

Well, I know one thing for sure.

↓

What's that, Eric?

eric

↓

We're all gonna need a lot more calamine lotion.

calamine calamine-lotion lotion

↓

Oh, my God! They've killed Kenny!

kenny killed killed-kenny

↓

You bastards!

bastards

↓

- ♪ Love was out to get me ♪

love

↓

♪ That's the way it seems ♪

seems

↓

♪ Disappointment haunted all my dreams ♪

disappointment dreams haunted

↓

♪ Then I saw her-- ♪