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South Park

Season 2, Episode 7 — City on the Edge of Forever (Flashbacks)

TMDB episode metadata
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So do not, under any circumstances,
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let any children off the bus.
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The best way to achieve this is to tell them
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something like, "A big scary monster
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will eat you if you step off the bus."
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- Kids, do not get off this bus!
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If you do, a big, scary monster will eat you!
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- That's right. With the children
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properly subdued, you can leave the bus
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and go out looking for assistance.
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And remember your bus driver's code:
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"Sit down and shut up."
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I'm going for help!
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I'll be back as soon as I can!
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Remember, don't get off this bus
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or a big, scary monster will eat you!
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Hey, why doesn't the scary monster eat her?
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'Cause, dumb-ass, scary monsters don't eat
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big fat smelly bitches.
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What did you say?!
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I said Larry King will grant me three wishes!
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Oh.
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Dude, this is not good.
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She could have at least left the heat on.
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Had to happen to me, didn't it?
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♪ Looking for love in all the wrong places ♪
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♪ Looking for love in too... ♪
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Oh, it's supper time.
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Come to papa.
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Oh, hello, little lady. Going my way?
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Shut up and help me into this thing!
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Oh, okay.
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Come on, I haven't got all day!
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All right, sure, of course.
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Take me to the nearest town,
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and make it snappy, you freak-ass crackpot!
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Y-yes, ma'am, right away, ma'am.
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So, uh, what's a fragile little doll like yourself
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doing out on a-- on a night like this?
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Look, mister, I got a busload of kids
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trapped up on that pass.
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I need a crane, helicopters, all that crap!
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Here, let me have some of your aspirin!
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Ma'am, those are actually roofies.
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Roofies, aspirin-- right now,
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I don't give a rat's ass!
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How far to the nearest town?
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Mm... it's a ways.