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Home » South Park » S02E06 — The Mexican Staring Frog of Southern Sri Lanka

South Park

Season 2, Episode 6 — The Mexican Staring Frog of Southern Sri Lanka

TMDB episode metadata

Show: South Park

Episode title: The Mexican Staring Frog of Southern Sri Lanka

Air date: June 10, 1998

Director: Trey Parker

Top billed cast: Trey Parker, Matt Stone, Isaac Hayes, Mary Kay Bergman, Jennifer Howell

Mr. Garrison assigns the boys to learn about Vietnam from somebody they know. Stan's Uncle Jimbo and his friend Ned tell the boys their outrageous tale. Mr. Garrison doesn't believe the boy's report and gives them detention. They plot revenge against Stan's Uncle by submitting a phony video of the Mexican Staring Frog of Southern Sri Lanka to them.

Source: TMDB

↓

♪ Ooh, can't wait to touch your body ♪

body touch

↓

♪ Ooh, girl, make sweet love to you ♪

girl love sweet sweet-love

↓

♪ All night long ♪

night

↓

♪ Yeah, your butt is so fine ♪

butt

↓

♪ Want to use it like a pillow all the time ♪

pillow

↓

Oh. Well, that episode was a hoot and a holler, wasn't it?

episode holler hoot

↓

That is a great episode,

episode

↓

but this next episode is our favorite episode.

episode favorite favorite-episode

↓

It's called "The Mexican Staring Frog

called frog mexican mexican-staring mexican-staring-frog staring staring-frog

↓

of Southern Sri Lanka."

lanka southern

↓

That's right, and it's all about this army

army

↓

of futuristic vehicles which can drop out of planes

drop planes vehicles

↓

and then run in silent mode, and they actually

mode silent

↓

use the silent mode to sneak up behind their enemies,

behind enemies mode silent sneak

↓

and they don't even know they're there.

↓

And the leader, who wears this big silver suit,

leader silver suit wears

↓

he's almost late, but then he uses a flying mode

flying late mode uses

↓

to get in the back of this plane--

plane

↓

Dude. Dude.

↓

That's not this episode. - It's not?

episode

↓

No, dude, that's that movie "Megaforce."

movie

↓

- We didn't do that? - No, dude, that came out

↓

when we were, like, 12 years old.

years

↓

Oh, dude, we should have done that.

↓

That was a sweet movie.

movie sweet

↓

Well, yeah, but this is the episode where it has--

episode

↓

you know, where it has Jesus, and he gets his own talk show,

jesus

↓

and they're--they're after that Mexican staring frog and stuff.

frog mexican mexican-staring mexican-staring-frog staring staring-frog stuff

↓

Oh, we should have done "Megaforce."

↓

That was a sweet movie. We should have done that.

movie sweet

↓

Well, enjoy "The Mexican Staring Frog

enjoy frog mexican mexican-staring mexican-staring-frog staring staring-frog

↓

of Southern Sri Lanka."

lanka southern

↓

♪ Say hey-oh ♪ - ♪ Hey-oh ♪

↓

- ♪ Say whoa ♪ - ♪ Whoa ♪

whoa whoa-whoa

↓

♪ I'm going down to South Park ♪

park south south-park

↓

♪ Gonna have myself a time ♪

↓

♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪

faces friendly friendly-faces

↓

♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪

folks humble humble-folks temptation

↓

♪ Going down to South Park ♪

park south south-park

↓

♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪

behind woes woes-behind

↓

♪ Ample parking day or night ♪

ample ample-parking night parking

↓

♪ People spouting: "Howdy neighbor!" ♪

howdy howdy-neighbor neighbor spouting spouting-howdy spouting-howdy-neighbor

↓

♪ Headed on up to South Park ♪

headed park south south-park

↓

♪ Gonna see if I can't unwind ♪

unwind

↓

♪ So come on down to South Park ♪

park south south-park

↓

♪ And meet some friends of mine ♪

friends meet

↓

And now back to "Huntin' and Killin'"

killin

↓

with South Park's favorite hunters Jimbo and Ned.

favorite hunters jimbo parks south south-parks

↓

I'm Jimbo Kern, and this here is Ned.

jimbo kern

↓

Say hi, Ned. - Hi, Ned.

↓

Now isn't that great?

↓

We have a terrific show for you today.

terrific today

↓

We're gonna kill some elk

kill

↓

and we're gonna kill some mountain goats.

goats kill mountain

↓

Now, the new law passed by Colorado legislature,

colorado passed

↓

which Ned and I call Pussy Law #4, states

pussy states

↓

that we can no longer kill animals in defense.

animals defense kill longer

↓

In other words, our old line

line words

↓

of "It's comin' right for us"...

comin

↓

"It's comin' right for us!" - No longer works.

comin longer works

↓

So now we only kill animals to...

animals kill

↓

If we don't hunt, then these animals

animals hunt

↓

will grow too big in number

grow number

↓

and they won't have enough food.

food

↓

So you see, we have to kill animals

animals kill

↓

or else they'll die.

↓

Uh, so roll the tape.

roll tape

↓

Here we are up at Shaffers Crossing

crossing

↓

looking for some animals.

animals looking

↓

Lookee, Ned, there's some deers.

lookee

↓

Quick, Ned, thin out their numbers.

numbers quick thin

↓

Thin out their numbers.

numbers thin

↓

Good work, Ned, now they won't starve.

starve

↓

That sure was a great hunting trip.

hunting trip

↓

We saved those deer from extinction.

deer saved

↓

We're environmentalists.

↓

Coming up next,

coming

↓

we're gonna drop some napalm

drop

↓

on an unsuspecting family of beavers,

family

↓

and also try to thin out the numbers

numbers thin

↓

of some endangered species.

endangered species

↓

Mr. Garrison, what's Vietnam?

garrison vietnam

↓

What's Vietnam?

vietnam

↓

A question a child might ask

child might question

↓

but not a childish question.

childish question

↓

Children, for the next few days

children days

↓

we'll be learning all about Vietnam.

learning vietnam

↓

Chances are that somebody in your own lives

chances lives somebody

↓

was affected by this incredible war.

affected incredible

↓

That's right, Mr. Garrison,

garrison

↓

the Vietnam War was sticky and icky.

icky sticky vietnam

↓

Mr. Garrison, were you in Vietnam?

garrison vietnam

↓

Come on, man, let's go!

↓

Jump out of the chopper!

chopper jump

↓

Who's next to take a shower?

shower

↓

Me, I am!

↓

You just took one last time, silly.

silly

↓

Oh, where can I hide this big pipe?

hide pipe

↓

No, I wasn't in Vietnam.

vietnam

↓

But sometimes I like to pretend I was.

pretend sometimes

↓

Anyway, children, I'm going to assign you all a paper.

assign children paper

↓

I want you all to find somebody in your own life

life somebody

↓

who was in Vietnam and interview them about it.

interview vietnam

↓

What if we don't know anybody who was in Vietnam?

anybody vietnam

↓

Then you get an F, fail the third grade

fail grade third third-grade

↓

and have to get a job cleaning septic tanks

cleaning septic tanks

↓

to support your drug habit. - Oh.

drug habit support

↓

Dude, my uncle Jimbo was in Vietnam.

jimbo uncle uncle-jimbo vietnam

↓

Hey, yeah, he and Ned do that stupid TV show.

stupid

↓

- And now time for...

↓

One of our loyal viewers from South Park

loyal park south south-park viewers

↓

sent us some 8-millimeter film

film sent

↓

of what he claims to be the Mexican staring frog

claims frog mexican mexican-staring mexican-staring-frog staring staring-frog

↓

of southern Sri Lanka.

lanka southern

↓

Now, as you all know,

↓

the Mexican staring frog of southern Sri Lanka

frog lanka mexican mexican-staring mexican-staring-frog southern staring staring-frog

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can supposedly kill you with one horrid gaze.

gaze kill supposedly

↓

If a person even so much as looks into the frog's eyes,

eyes frogs person

↓

they can be paralyzed or even die.

paralyzed

↓

And this film proves that that frog

film frog proves

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may very well exist.

exist

↓

Now watch carefully.

carefully watch

↓

You're gonna see the Mexican staring frog.

frog mexican mexican-staring mexican-staring-frog staring staring-frog

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There! There, did you see it?

↓

Roll that back again.

roll

↓

Now freeze it.

freeze

↓

Well, I'd like to know what

↓

all you skeptics have to say now.

↓

What do you think, Ned? - I'm scared.

scared

↓

Well, be sure to join us next time.

join

↓

Until then...

↓

♪ We're so glad you spent a time with us ♪

glad spent

↓

♪ While we slaughtered our way through nature's guts ♪

guts natures slaughtered

↓

♪ Come again and stay a while ♪

↓

♪ We'll kill a lot more living things ♪

kill living

↓

♪ And make them bleed ♪

bleed

↓

Good night.

night

↓

And we're cut, great show, guys.

↓

Oh, lookee who's here.

lookee

↓

My little nephew, Stanley.

nephew stanley

↓

So you're interested in your Uncle Jimbo's

interested uncle

↓

big TV show, huh?

↓

No, we have to do a stupid report on Vietnam.

report stupid vietnam

↓

You and Ned are the only guys we know who were there.

↓

Oh, yeah, we sure were. - Was it fun?

fun

↓

Cartman, what kind of stupid-ass question is that?

cartman question stupid

↓

Of course it was fun.

course fun

↓

Well, sure, Vietnam was fun.

fun vietnam

↓

But not like going to the circus fun

circus fun

↓

or fly fishing in Montana fun.

fishing fun montana

↓

No, Vietnam was more like

vietnam

↓

shoving shards of broken glass up your ass

broken broken-glass glass shoving

↓

and then sitting in a tub of Tabasco sauce fun!

fun sauce sitting

↓

Whoa.

whoa

↓

Yepper, that's where me and Ned met.

↓

I remember I had just gotten off the Ferris wheel.

ferris ferris-wheel gotten remember wheel

↓

Oh, boy, what a gorgeous day.

gorgeous

↓

- Kern, get over here.

kern

↓

The new privates are here.

↓

I'm assigning one of them to you as a trainee.

↓

Ned Gerblansky.

↓

Ned Gerblansky reporting, sir.

reporting

↓

Thanks, Ned.

thanks

↓

Now, the bad guys have been spotted

spotted

↓

about ten clicks north of here.

clicks north

↓

I know that you and Kern are best suited to take them out.

best kern

↓

- Are you up for it? - Sir, yes, sir.

↓

Soon it was all on just me and Ned

↓

to win the war for America.

america

↓

Pass me some more cocoa, will you, Ned?

cocoa pass

↓

Certainly, and would you like another muffin as well?

another certainly muffin

↓

Why the hell not? We're at war.

↓

Hey, you know those things are bad for your throat.

throat

↓

No, that's all lies. I'll be fine.

lies

↓

Charlies at two o'clock!

charlies oclock

↓

I see 'em, drop the bomb!

bomb drop

↓

- The bomb's not releasing!

bombs releasing

↓

Oh, no! - It won't budge.

budge

↓

Then we only have one option.

option

↓

What are you doing, man?

↓

We have to take 'em out, Ned, at all costs!

costs

↓

Die, you red commie bastards!

bastards

↓

Oh, no, out of ammo!

ammo

↓

We did it, Ned.

↓

We killed the entire Viet Cong army.

army cong entire killed viet viet-cong

↓

Whoopee!

whoopee

↓

Let's get back to base camp.

base camp

↓

We can ride the log ride before it closes.

closes ride

↓

And that's the way it happened, boys.

boys happened

↓

Wow! - Man, Vietnam was sweet.

sweet vietnam

↓

Great news, guys, your TV show ratings

news ratings

↓

have doubled! - Wow!

↓

They've gone from six people to twelve.

gone twelve

↓

Holy smokes, we could get an Emmy.

holy holy-smokes smokes

↓

We've got to do it, J-- your rating are being killed

killed rating

↓

by the Jimbo and Ned hunting show.

hunting jimbo

↓

But I don't really care about that.

care

↓

Well, you better care, Mr. Smarty Pants.

care pants smarty smarty-pants

↓

No ratings means no show.

ratings

↓

If you want to keep reaching out to people,

reaching

↓

you have to keep up with the times.

times

↓

Oh, all right.

↓

All right, we're 10 seconds to air, guys.

seconds

↓

Remember, big, big, big.

remember

↓

And five, four, three...

five five-four five-four-three four four-three three

↓

It's your hour of power

hour power

↓

on midday mountain cable access.

access cable mountain

↓

Put your hands together and welcome

hands welcome

↓

the only man in town

town

↓

who always has a fully stocked wine cellar.

fully wine

↓

Jesus Christ!

christ jesus jesus-christ

↓

Uhh... Hi.

↓

Uh, y-yeah, okay.

↓

Beginning today, we're taking the show

beginning today

↓

in a new direction.

direction

↓

We've got some very interesting people

interesting

↓

coming on the show this week for you, our viewers.

coming viewers week

↓

Today's guest is TV's Gilligan, Mr. Bob Denver.

denver gilligan guest todays

↓

Here's Bob Denver!

denver

↓

Hi, Bob Denver.

denver

↓

Hi, Jesus, great to be here.

jesus

↓

So, Bob, so you just get in town?

town

↓

Yep, just got in.

↓

So, um, so what have you been up to?

↓

- Nothing, nothing really at all.

↓

♪ Nothing from nothing leaves nothing ♪

leaves

↓

♪ You gotta have something... ♪

↓

Oh, boy.

↓

And after killing the entire Viet Cong army,

army cong entire killing viet viet-cong

↓

they returned to base camp.

base camp returned

↓

Once there they rode the devil's drop roller coaster

coaster devils drop rode roller roller-coaster

↓

and ate cotton candy and ultimately,

candy cotton ultimately

↓

Ned got the Purple Heart for his courageous defense

courageous defense heart purple

↓

of the log ride.

ride

↓

So was the horror of Vietnam. The end.

horror vietnam

↓

The end.

↓

Are there any questions?

questions

↓

Yes, Mr. Garrison.

garrison

↓

Yes, where the

↓

did you hear this ridiculous load of bullshit?

bullshit load ridiculous

↓

From Vietnam veterans.

veterans vietnam

↓

Well, boys, it's obvious to me

boys obvious

↓

that you didn't do your work

↓

and then you stayed up all night making up

night stayed

↓

some ridiculous lie.

ridiculous

↓

No, no, we didn't.

↓

You all receive an F-minus.

minus receive

↓

F-minus? Can he do that?

minus

↓

But we're not making it up.

↓

Stanley, the Vietnam War was war.

stanley vietnam

↓

There weren't galloping steeds

↓

or singing birds or log rides.

birds rides singing

↓

How do you know? You weren't even there.

↓

Well, that's it!

↓

All of you have detention for the rest of the week!

detention rest week

↓

Sweet.

sweet

↓

Welcome to detention, mm-kay.

detention welcome

↓

Mr. Garrison told me about your little joke.

garrison joke

↓

It's important for you all to know why

↓

you're in detention

detention

↓

for you to obtain the full benefits from it.

benefits full full-benefits

↓

You're here because you're inferior, okay,

↓

you're here because you're awkward, okay?

awkward

↓

Well, Stan, thanks a lot for having such a cool uncle

cool having stan thanks uncle

↓

that got us all detention for a week.

detention week

↓

Yeah, dude, your uncle Jimbo sucks ass.

jimbo sucks uncle uncle-jimbo

↓

Shh, okay.

↓

Why would he just invent a story

invent story

↓

instead of telling us the truth?

telling truth

↓

Well, let' see. Maybe 'cause

↓

he's an old drunk hillbilly dick.

dick drunk hillbilly

↓

Shh, okay.

↓

We got to get him back, dude.

↓

Totally. - How?

↓

Well, he screwed us by making something up.

screwed

↓

I say we do the same thing.

↓

What do you mean?

↓

Did you guys ever see that one "Brady Bunch"

brady bunch

↓

where the guy...

↓

Oh, yeah, sweet.

sweet

↓

Super sweet. Yes!

super sweet

↓

And now back to "Huntin' and Killin'"

killin

↓

with South Park's favorite hunters,

favorite hunters parks south south-parks

↓

Jimbo and Ned.

jimbo

↓

Welcome, hunters.

hunters welcome

↓

Boy, have we got a show for you today.

today

↓

We have just received a tape from another viewer

another received tape viewer

↓

who filmed the Mexican staring frog

filmed frog mexican mexican-staring mexican-staring-frog staring staring-frog

↓

of southern Sri Lanka right here in South Park.

lanka park south south-park southern

↓

Yes, now we're about to roll the film,

film roll

↓

but remember, if you look the Mexican staring frog

frog mexican mexican-staring mexican-staring-frog remember staring staring-frog

↓

in the eyes, you can go catatonic.

eyes

↓

We don't know if this applies to pictures

pictures

↓

of the frog or not,

frog

↓

but who wants to take chances?

chances wants

↓

So when we roll this film, be sure to look away.

film roll

↓

Okay, roll the film, Tom.

film roll

↓

Is it over?

↓

Okay, it's over.

↓

Well, there you have it.

↓

Undeniable proof that the Mexican staring frog

frog mexican mexican-staring mexican-staring-frog proof staring staring-frog undeniable

↓

of southern Sri Lanka exists.

exists lanka southern

↓

And you saw it here on the Jimbo and Ned show.

jimbo

↓

Dude, I can't believe they fell for it.

believe fell

↓

Yeah, what a couple of dumbasses.

couple

↓

Yeah.

↓

Come on, we gotta go make another one.

another

↓

- Lying kicks ass.

kicks lying

↓

Jesus! - Yeah?

jesus

↓

We're in trouble.

trouble

↓

The Jimbo and Ned show made up some ridiculous

jimbo ridiculous

↓

staring frog story and jumped another

another frog jumped staring staring-frog story

↓

two points in the ratings. - Uh-oh. So what are we

points ratings

↓

supposed to do? - I don't know.

supposed

↓

We'll have to continue with the changes we've made

changes continue

↓

and then go even further.

further

↓

And we're back in five, four, three...

five five-four five-four-three four four-three three

↓

Remember, big, big, big.

remember

↓

If you're just joining us,

joining

↓

we've been listening to Michelle's incredible story

incredible listening story

↓

of survival. Go on, Michelle.

michelle survival

↓

- Well, as I was saying, I tried and tried

tried

↓

but my overturned car just wouldn't budge.

budge

↓

My husband was trapped for 12 hours.

hours husband trapped

↓

And yet somehow he managed to survive.

managed survive

↓

That's right.

↓

He's a very brave man, and I love him very much.

brave love

↓

I love you, too.

love

↓

Well, let's see if the audience

audience

↓

has any questions.

questions

↓

Yes, you over there.

↓

I think she needs to kick him to the curb, baby.

baby curb kick needs

↓

Kick who to the curb? - Her no-good husband.

curb husband kick

↓

She's got to lose that zero and get herself a hero.

hero lose zero

↓

But...

↓

He wants to have his cake and eat it too.

cake wants

↓

He's got to dump that trash, girlfriend.

dump girlfriend trash

↓

It's all about respect.

respect

↓

You gotta have respect for yourself.

respect

↓

I think we've somewhat missed the point here.

missed point somewhat

↓

Let's go to somebody else.

somebody

↓

Yes, your comments.

comments

↓

Montel, I think we're forgetting something

forgetting

↓

very important in all this.

↓

Okay, sure, he touched some children

children touched

↓

but the man is a great singer

singer

↓

and he's entertained us for so many years.

entertained years

↓

What are you talking about? - Michael Jackson.

jackson michael

↓

All this badmouthing, putting the man down.

putting

↓

Maybe he did touch some children now and then.

children touch

↓

But come on, it's Michael Jackson.

jackson michael

↓

Michael Jackson!

jackson michael

↓

Uh, we'll be back right after these messages.

messages

↓

Ready, you guys?

ready

↓

Ready!

ready

↓

Okay, action.

action

↓

I am the deadly Mexican staring frog

deadly frog mexican mexican-staring mexican-staring-frog staring staring-frog

↓

of southern Sri Lanka.

lanka southern

↓

It's supposed to be a frog. - I know that.

frog supposed

↓

Since when do frogs talk, Cartman?

cartman frogs

↓

It's a Sri Lanka frog.

frog lanka

↓

Der, Cartman! - Der yourself, hippy.

cartman

↓

Just do it again, Cartman, and don't make it talk.

cartman

↓

Okay, here we go, ready?

ready

↓

Are you ready, Cartman? - I'm ready, Steven Spielberg!

cartman ready steven

↓

Action!

action

↓

Screw you guys.

screw

↓

Wait, why do I have to dress up like an old lady?

dress lady

↓

'Cause old ladies are fat and you are too.

ladies

↓

Come on, Cartman, the way we're shooting this,

cartman shooting

↓

nobody will even know it's you.

nobody

↓

They better not. - Okay, when I yell action,

action yell

↓

you start to walk this way,

start walk

↓

then Kenny's gonna pull the plastic frog in front of you

frog front kennys plastic pull

↓

and you have to be scared.

scared

↓

Scared of a plastic frog?

frog plastic scared

↓

- It's acting, Cartman.

acting cartman

↓

You have to pretend you're really scared,

pretend scared

↓

then the Mexican staring frog will look you in the eyes,

eyes frog mexican mexican-staring mexican-staring-frog staring staring-frog

↓

then you fall down like you're dead, okay, ready?

dead fall ready

↓

This is stupid.

stupid

↓

Good, and action!

action

↓

Ahh!

↓

Well, it appears as though a lot of you skeptics

appears

↓

thought that the film we showed of the Mexican staring frog

film frog mexican mexican-staring mexican-staring-frog showed staring staring-frog

↓

of southern Sri Lanka was a fake.

fake lanka southern

↓

They say it didn't harm anybody.

anybody harm

↓

Well, it just so happens that

happens

↓

we just received another film

another film received

↓

from another anonymous viewer.

anonymous another viewer

↓

Roll it.

roll

↓

Ahhh!

ahhh

↓

There you go.

↓

Proof that not only is this frog real,

frog proof real

↓

but it is doing harm to the people of South Park

harm park south south-park

↓

as we speak.

speak

↓

Damn that frog. - Well, that does it.

frog

↓

All this week, Ned and I will be

week

↓

risking life and limb as we go on location

life limb location

↓

to hunt the Mexican staring frog

frog hunt mexican mexican-staring mexican-staring-frog staring staring-frog

↓

of southern Sri Lanka.

lanka southern

↓

Join us, won't you?

join

↓

- Oh, no, no, no, no.

↓

This is the biggest publicity stunt I've ever seen.

biggest publicity seen stunt

↓

Damn, those hunters are clever. - Uh, clever?

clever hunters

↓

It's genius, it really is.

genius

↓

Hell, I even want to watch them hunt

hunt watch

↓

the Mexican staring frog.

frog mexican mexican-staring mexican-staring-frog staring staring-frog

↓

Unless. - Unless what?

↓

Unless we can prove to the world

prove world

↓

that the whole thing is a sham.

sham whole

↓

If we prove that the Mexican staring frog

frog mexican mexican-staring mexican-staring-frog prove staring staring-frog

↓

of southern Sri Lanka

lanka southern

↓

is just something made up by Jimbo and Ned,

jimbo

↓

we can have them taken off the air,

taken

↓

perhaps even killed.

killed perhaps

↓

Look, why don't we just stick to our own show?

stick

↓

People will watch again.

watch

↓

Oh, J, you are so omnipotent,

↓

and yet so naive.

naive

↓

We'll launch a full investigation

full investigation launch

↓

and in the meantime we can cash in

cash meantime

↓

on the videotapes.

↓

What videotapes?

↓

Yea, my children, I am the way and the light...

children light

↓

You've seen "Jesus and Pals."

jesus pals seen

↓

Now you've got to get the video.

video

↓

"Jesus and Pals Too Hot for TV."

jesus pals

↓

Things get a little out of control.

control

↓

You won't believe your eyes.

believe eyes

↓

Order now, only $19.95.

order

↓

Remember, this is stuff you can't see on TV.

remember stuff

↓

Anonymous tip?

anonymous

↓

Yeah, it was left on our answering machine.

answering answering-machine left machine

↓

All it said was that they saw the Mexican staring frog

frog mexican mexican-staring mexican-staring-frog staring staring-frog

↓

just south of Stark's Pond this morning.

morning pond south starks starks-pond

↓

Hey Ned, remember that time we got

remember

↓

that anonymous tip back in Nam?

anonymous

↓

You were in Nam? Where were you stationed?

stationed

↓

Da Nang. - With the log ride?

ride

↓

Yup. - Man, I was in Tet.

↓

We had a badass rollercoaster

badass

↓

but all we ever wanted was a log ride.

ride wanted

↓

We waited and we waited but they never built us one.

built waited

↓

I think Danforth wanted a log ride

ride wanted

↓

more than anybody but he had to settle

anybody settle

↓

with that lame dinosaur water adventure ride.

adventure dinosaur lame ride water

↓

That war was hell on everybody.

everybody

↓

Good, okay, okay bye. Great news, everybody.

everybody news

↓

This week's ratings are through the roof.

ratings roof weeks

↓

We're up to 20 people.

↓

Wow, do we get more money? - No, but I do.

money

↓

We're now the highest rated show

highest rated

↓

on mountain cable access.

access cable mountain

↓

God bless the Mexican staring frog.

bless frog mexican mexican-staring mexican-staring-frog staring staring-frog

↓

Dude, they're gonna look so stupid.

stupid

↓

Totally.

↓

They deserve it for lying to us, dude.

deserve lying

↓

Revenge is so very, very sweet.

revenge sweet

↓

They're here, hurry and hide.

hide hurry

↓

Let's hunt.

hunt

↓

We'll start with a two-shot of you and Ned

shot start

↓

getting your equipment together and...

equipment

↓

Jimbo, look!

jimbo

↓

Hit the deck! - What is it?

deck

↓

It's him, the Mexican staring frog

frog mexican mexican-staring mexican-staring-frog staring staring-frog

↓

of southern Sri Lanka.

lanka southern

↓

He's right over there on that rock.

rock

↓

He is? - Dumbass!

dumbass

↓

You've gotta keep your eyes away from him.

eyes

↓

Stay down.

↓

Ned, you take flank position.

flank position

↓

I'll try and keep it turned away from you.

turned

↓

Roger that.

roger

↓

Hello, fellow hunters.

fellow hunters

↓

Have we got a show for you today.

today

↓

The Mexican staring frog is sunning itself

frog mexican mexican-staring mexican-staring-frog staring staring-frog

↓

on a rock directly behind us.

behind directly rock

↓

We've got to take the frog by surprise.

frog surprise

↓

I'm gonna create a diversion using this incendiary device,

create device diversion using

↓

while Ned will ambush him from the rear.

ambush rear

↓

Now, Ned, he's not looking!

looking

↓

Quick, Ned! Hit him with the shotgun!

quick shotgun

↓

Now, Ned!

↓

Ned, Ned?

↓

Oh, no!

↓

Come on, Ned, buddy, snap out of it.

buddy snap

↓

Come back to me, buddy.

buddy

↓

Are you getting all this?

↓

Hold on to your butts.

butts

↓

Take that, you demon frog!

demon frog

↓

Ned, Ned, can you hear me?

↓

Quick, somebody call an ambulance!

ambulance quick somebody

↓

This man is catatonic!

↓

Get the Flight for Life helicopter.

flight helicopter life

↓

Holy crap, dude.

holy

↓

"But pony boy was beat up pretty bad.

beat pony

↓

He kept saying, 'Stay gold."'

gold

↓

Oh, Ned, if you can hear me,

↓

you gotta snap out of it.

snap

↓

'cause if you don't, I'll never forgive myself.

forgive

↓

Oh, Stanley, he's gone!

gone stanley

↓

My only friend in the world is gone.

friend gone world

↓

Dude, he's okay. That frog wasn't even real.

frog real

↓

Look.

↓

Oh, what the hell are you doing?

↓

I almost looked right at it.

looked

↓

Dude, it's just a plastic frog. It's not real.

frog plastic real

↓

Check it out. - What?

check

↓

We shot all those videos and sent them in.

sent shot videos

↓

- Yeah, we made the whole thing up.

whole

↓

It was all just a really, really funny joke.

funny funny-joke joke

↓

You sent in those videos?

sent videos

↓

Oh, this is not good.

↓

My best friend is a vegetable,

best best-friend friend vegetable

↓

and I'm gonna be the laughingstock of South Park.

park south south-park

↓

Oh, come on, Ned's faking it.

faking neds

↓

That frog was just a piece of plastic.

frog piece plastic

↓

Yeah, come on, Ned, quit faking.

faking quit

↓

You boys don't understand.

boys

↓

Ned was so freaked out by the idea

freaked idea

↓

of the Mexican staring frog

frog mexican mexican-staring mexican-staring-frog staring staring-frog

↓

that he must have sent himself into a deep coma.

coma deep must sent

↓

It's a psychosomatic response.

response

↓

I couldn't help overhearing

↓

your conversation just now. - Who are you?

conversation

↓

I produce a little TV show called "Jesus and Pals."

called jesus pals produce

↓

You might have heard of it.

heard might

↓

Your story's amazing, full of jealousy,

amazing full jealousy storys

↓

duplicity, backstabbing, and bitterness.

backstabbing

↓

Uh, thanks?

thanks

↓

How would you like to share your remarkable story

remarkable share story

↓

with us on tomorrow's show?

tomorrows

↓

We're back with Jimbo and his nephew, Stan.

jimbo nephew stan

↓

These kids can't stop lying, can they?

kids lying

↓

That's right, Jesus.

jesus

↓

No respect for their elders.

elders respect

↓

As some of you may know,

↓

I host a local show on hunting.

host hunting local

↓

Thanks. We've been hunting the Mexican staring frog

frog hunting mexican mexican-staring mexican-staring-frog staring staring-frog thanks

↓

for a week based on some video footage

based footage video week

↓

we received from a viewer.

received viewer

↓

Well, it turns out that these kids

kids turns

↓

faked the footage.

faked footage

↓

Is that true, Stan? - It was just a joke.

joke stan

↓

We didn't think it would hurt anybody.

anybody hurt

↓

We'll find out more about this debauchery

↓

when we return.

return

↓

And we're out.

↓

You're corpses up here.

corpses

↓

We need a lot more action from everybody.

action everybody

↓

Like what?

↓

Like go ahead and tell how your nephew Stan

ahead go-ahead nephew stan

↓

takes drugs and worships Satan. - Satan, got it.

drugs satan takes

↓

Whoa, I don't take drugs and worship Satan. That's lying.

drugs lying satan whoa worship

↓

Give you a taste of your own medicine, you little fibber!

medicine taste

↓

You kids, I didn't bring you on this show to be boring.

boring bring kids

↓

Somebody get pissed off and throw a chair at Ned here.

chair pissed somebody throw

↓

Dibs! - Remember...

dibs remember

↓

you all start to fight after the chair is thrown.

chair fight start thrown

↓

That's your cue. - Right.

↓

Welcome back to "Jesus and Pals."

jesus pals welcome

↓

Jimbo, why do you think little Stanley lies?

jimbo lies stanley

↓

I'll tell you why.

↓

Because he's on drugs and he worships the devil.

devil drugs

↓

Jesus, Jesus, Jesus!

jesus jesus-jesus

↓

Wow. Now, Stanley, it sounds like

sounds stanley

↓

your uncle's really worried about you.

uncles worried

↓

Well, I only did it 'cause... he molested me.

molested

↓

Why you little piece of crap! - You big piece of crap!

piece

↓

That's it, now I'm all pissed off.

pissed

↓

Take that, hippy. - Hey!

↓

Jesus, Jesus!

jesus jesus-jesus

↓

Okay, okay, that's enough.

↓

Take that, you asshole.

asshole

↓

What the was that?

↓

Let's watch the language, people.

language watch

↓

Bring it on, you bitch.

bitch bring

↓

Hey, get off of him you nut-sack!

sack

↓

Jesus, Jesus, Jesus!

jesus jesus-jesus

↓

Let's all just make our way back to our seats.

seats

↓

Oh, my God, they killed Kenny!

kenny killed killed-kenny

↓

You bastards!

bastards

↓

Jesus! Jesus! Jesus!

jesus jesus-jesus

↓

Let's all just make our way back to our seats.

seats

↓

Shut the up!

↓

Jesus, what is wrong with you people?

jesus

↓

Look around you, Stanley.

stanley

↓

Look at the all the pain and suffering

pain suffering

↓

your lie has caused.

caused

↓

We only did it because Jimbo lied to us first.

jimbo lied

↓

We had this report on the Vietnam War for school

report school vietnam

↓

and we interviewed Jimbo about it.

jimbo

↓

And he made up all this stuff about Vietnam,

stuff vietnam

↓

and he got us in trouble.

trouble

↓

Hey now, everything I told you boys

boys

↓

about the war actually happened.

happened

↓

Mr. Garrison said there was no way that you could've

couldve garrison

↓

defeated the entire Viet Cong army by yourself.

army cong defeated entire viet viet-cong

↓

The entire Viet Cong army?

army cong entire viet viet-cong

↓

- I--well, okay, I might have embellished the truth

might truth

↓

a little but that's different.

↓

Is it? - Well, sure, I mean...

↓

Well, no, I guess not. - And as for you, Stan...

stan

↓

I think you need to kick your drug habit.

drug habit kick

↓

Wait a second, I don't take drugs. That was a lie.

drugs second

↓

Wait, Jimbo made that up? - No, your producer did.

jimbo producer

↓

She made Jimbo tell everybody that I did drugs.

drugs everybody jimbo

↓

What?

↓

During the break your producer came over

break producer

↓

and told Jimbo what to say about me.

jimbo

↓

She told him to lie.

↓

It's true, she did.

↓

I'm such a tool. - Oh, really?

tool

↓

Yeah, then she told us to throw a chair at Ned.

chair throw

↓

Yeah, I didn't want to do it, Jesus.

jesus

↓

They made me do that.

↓

Screw this show, I thought this was all real!

real screw

↓

Wait, everybody, come back.

everybody

↓

Don't feel too bad, Montel,

↓

we all wanna touch children sometimes, it's only natural.

children natural sometimes touch

↓

I'm sorry, Stan.

stan

↓

I was just trying to tell a good story.

story

↓

I never meant for you boys to get in trouble.

boys meant trouble

↓

We're sorry, too, Uncle Jimbo.

jimbo uncle uncle-jimbo

↓

We're sorry for making you look stupid

stupid

↓

in front of the whole world.

front whole whole-world world

↓

Yeah, and we're sorry for turning Ned into a vegetable.

turning vegetable

↓

He'll be fine, I'll just take him home

home

↓

and show him some good hardcore porn.

hardcore porn

↓

He'll snap right out of it, won't you, Ned?

snap

↓

I want to apologize to all of you for what happened in there.

apologize happened

↓

In our competition for ratings,

competition ratings

↓

we all lost sight of why we got into show business

business lost sight

↓

in the first place.

place

↓

Yeah, titties and beer.

beer titties

↓

Actually, I was referring more

referring

↓

to the pursuit of truth, but...

truth

↓

Well, anyway, I can't wait to get back to my old show

↓

without all the glitz and ratings and producers...

producers ratings

↓

Wait a sec, where is your producer?

producer

↓

I sent her away. - Sent her away where?

sent

↓

What is this? What's happening?

↓

Welcome to my dominion.

welcome

↓

Ahh!

↓

Hey, take a load off, put your feet up.

feet load

↓

Me and Satan were just about to go shopping

satan shopping

↓

for furniture. Come on, Satan.

furniture satan

↓

Okay, honey.

honey

↓

No!

↓

♪ War is hell ♪

↓

♪ My brother's dead in my arms ♪

arms brothers dead

↓

♪ In war, war is hell ♪

↓

♪ It's hell for you and me ♪