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Home » Tom Segura Standup » S01E03 — Tom Segura: Ball Hog (2020)

Tom Segura Standup

Season 1, Episode 3 — Tom Segura: Ball Hog (2020)

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I would drown that dog, right?
drown
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And I mean, through yelps like...
yelps
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I'd go... Like that.
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And then I would give it to my son.
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I'd be like, "Remember when that hurt you? I killed it."
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He'd be like, "What the fuck...
fuck
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am I supposed to do with this dead dog?"
deadsupposed
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And I'd go, "I don't know. Maybe learn to stand up for yourself
learnstand
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so I don't have to do shit like that, all right?"
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I know.
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It's a very divisive joke. It has been...
joke
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the entire tour. Um...
entiretour
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I think it sets up the audience into two camps, you know?
audiencecampssets
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People who are like, "Don't do the yelp."
yelp
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"It makes it real."
makesreal
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Then other people who are like,
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"Do the yelp. That's my favorite shit, man." And...
favoriteyelp
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you know who you are.
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Yeah.
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Dude, having kids makes you do crazy shit.
crazyhavingkidsmakes
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I'm not even proud of some of the things I've done, all right?
proud
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Last year was the first time I ever had somebody bully one of my kids.
bullykidssomebody
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I didn't respond well.
respond
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This is what... I took my older son to a park.
olderpark