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South Park

Season 1, Episode 5 — An Elephant Makes Love to a Pig

TMDB episode metadata
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At least I'm not a little pig!
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Hey! I'm taking my pig and--
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Screw you guys! I'm going home!
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This whole idea is stupid anyway!
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What the hell would you know, you fat, sweaty Mongoloid?
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You never get higher than a D!
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Hey! Why don't you go back to
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San Francisco with the rest of the Jews?
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There's no Jews in San Francisco, retard!
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I'll kick you in the nuts!
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Can I help you?
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Uh, yeah.
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We wanna crossbreed an elephant with a pig.
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Brilliant idea.
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Huge, elephant-sized pigs.
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No, no, we want to make little potbellied elephants
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that people can keep in their houses as pets.
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Oh, that's an even better idea.
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Come on in.
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I'm so pleased that you children are interested
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in genetic engineering.
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It's okay, Fluffy. Nobody's gonna hurt you.
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It's thanks to the wonders of genetic engineering,
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that soon there will be an end to hunger,
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disease, pollution, even war.
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I've created things that
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will change the world for the better.
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For instance, here's a monkey with four asses.
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How does that make the world better?
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And here, of course, is my four-assed ostrich
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and my four-assed mongoose.
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Do you have anything besides just animals with four asses?
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Oh, well, I suppose so.
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Oh, yes, over here.
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Here I have rats spliced with ducks
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and gorillas spliced with mosquitoes.
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And here I have rabbits spliced with fish
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to make little bunny fish.
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Hey, these bunny ears are tied on with little strings!
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And over here, a Swiss cheese
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spliced with chalk and a beard.
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Well, what about our potbellied elephant?
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Oh. Well, I'm sorry, children.
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But pig and elephant DNA just won't splice.
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Haven't you ever heard that song by Loverboy?
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Which song?
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♪ Pig and elephant DNA ♪
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♪ Just won't splice ♪