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South Park

Season 1, Episode 1 — Cartman Gets an Anal Probe

TMDB episode metadata
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Ow, my ass!
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Dude, he's farting fire.
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It's the alien anal probe.
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It's shooting fire from Cartman's rectum.
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No, that was just a dream.
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Eric, do you need to sit in the corner
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until your flaming gas is under control?
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No, Mr. Garrison, I'm fine.
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Hey, you cows can't get on this train.
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This is a people train.
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You cows have no business on a people train, all right?
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'cause you're cows.
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No, no, no.
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Don't try any of that cow hypnosis on me, all right?
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'Cause it's not gonna work.
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Hold it right there, cows.
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Come back here.
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Aah!
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Ooh. I sure am hungry.
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How can you eat when you're farting fire?
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Shut up, dude, you're being totally immature.
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Hey, look, there's Wendy Testaburger.
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Where?
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♪ Stan wants to kiss Wendy Testaburger ♪
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Shut up, fat ass. I don't even like her.
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I'm not fat and you obviously like her
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because you throw up every time she talks to you.
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I do not.
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- Hi, guys. - Hi, Wendy.
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Here, Stan, this is for you.
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Eww.
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Bye, Wendy.
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Dude, what does the note say?
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Holy crap,
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it says she wants to meet me at Stark's Pond
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after school.
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Whoa, maybe you can kiss her.
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Or slip her the tongue.
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What, how do you know she has a cat?
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Come on, you guys,
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we need to figure out how to get out of school
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so we can get my little brother back.
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- Hello there, children. - Hey Chef.
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How are you doing? - Bad.
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Why bad? - Chef,
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have you ever had something happen to you
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but nobody believed you?
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Oh, children, children.