Home » It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia » S03E07 — The Gang Sells Out

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Season 3, Episode 7 — The Gang Sells Out

CHARLIE: Oh, my God, dude!

#1

⇓

There is definitely a helicopter pad on the roof of this building.

#2

⇓

DENNIS: No, there isn't, Charlie. - Yes, there is.

#3

⇓

Every single one of these corporate buildings has a helipad on the roof.

#4

⇓

Charlie is right. There's always some big boss man fat cat

#5

⇓

that needs to be able to escape by helicopter.

#6

⇓

- What is he escaping from? - Secret tunnels then.

#7

⇓

- Secrets tunnels? There are no... - A monorail system and a helipad.

#8

⇓

- Guys! Can we stop arguing? - There are two systems.

#9

⇓

I don't wanna talk to this corporate drone any longer than we have to.

#10

⇓

We're split on the helicopters. We'll come back to secret tunnels.

#11

⇓

- That was an excellent idea. - We'd better.

#12

⇓

But we can all agree we should at least hear this guy out.

#13

⇓

- I guess. Yeah, sure. - Let's hear the guy out.

#14

⇓

We'll hear him out. We're agreed. Sir, please continue.

#15

⇓

Okay. Right...

#16

⇓

As I was saying, when I went down to your bar the other day,

#17

⇓

nobody appeared to be working there.

#18

⇓

There were people there, but they were just customers

#19

⇓

who seemed to be serving themselves.

#20

⇓

We're out and about a lot. Get to the point.

#21

⇓

Well, we here at Media Restaurant Group

#22

⇓

really think that the location of your bar would be a perfect spot

#23

⇓

for one of our Oldies Rock Cafés.

#24

⇓

- Shit, dude, how do I explain this? - I don't know.

#25

⇓

This bar, it's who we are. All right?

#26

⇓

It's all we've got. You wouldn't understand that.

#27

⇓

You corporate pigs think you can just buy everything.

#28

⇓

- You can't buy everything. - We know your kind.

#29

⇓

You big businesses going all over town swallowing up the small guys.

#30

⇓

Well, guess what, pal... Paddy's Pub can't be bought.

#31

⇓

Okay. Well, if you would just please take a look at our offer.

#32

⇓

Yeah, man. We'll take a look at it, but...

#33

⇓

Sold!

#34

⇓

There is no way I'm selling the bar.

#35

⇓

It's time for a life of leisure, buddy.

#36

⇓

It's time to retire and collect that pension.

#37

⇓

Think of all the money we're gonna get.

#38

⇓

- What are you talking about? - The money from selling the bar.

#39

⇓

We could retire to an island. We'll all get fat and tan.

#40

⇓

- Dee, you're not gonna get shit. - No.

#41

⇓

We're the shareholders. You own nothing.

#42

⇓

Are you serious? I have been with you since the very beginning.

#43

⇓

I would think of Paddy's as an Enron-type situation.

#44

⇓

We're gonna cut and run, and leave you out there broke and jobless.

#45

⇓

It's nothing personal. It's just business.

#46

⇓

It does not matter one bit because I'm not selling the bar anyway.

#47

⇓

- Just take a look. - What is that?

#48

⇓

That's the offer.

#49

⇓

Let's sell this piece-of-shit bar. (cheering)

#50

⇓

DEE: Really? Just like that? - See ya later, piece of shit!

#51

⇓

Wait just one second. We have to milk this cow for all she's worth.

#52

⇓

We need to be wooed.

#53

⇓

Yeah, I could go for being wooed.

#54

⇓

- I'd love to be wooed. - I could go for some wood.

#55

⇓

- No. We're saying "wooed". - Yeah.

#56

⇓

We'll get some wood.

#57

⇓

We'll build something cool. Then we'll go get the money.

#58

⇓

That doesn't have anything to do with what we're talking about.

#59

⇓

We're talking about being wooed by this corporate guy.

#60

⇓

- Dennis, just... - It's a waste of time?

#61

⇓

How are you gonna be wood?

#62

⇓

Let's just go and sell this bar for everything we can get.

#63

⇓

DENNIS: Let's do it, boys. Let's go!

#64

⇓

Wait a second. What the hell am I supposed to do?

#65

⇓

MAC: Don't give a shit. (exasperated sigh)

#66

⇓

(background music: oldies rock)

#67

⇓

Hi. I need to apply for a job.

#68

⇓

Right. Just fill out this application,

#69

⇓

and I'll put it in the stack wit the others.

#70

⇓

- Dee? Hey. - Hi.

#71

⇓

Are you applying for a job here?

#72

⇓

- Here? - Yeah.

#73

⇓

What, are you crazy? Gross. No, I would never work here.

#74

⇓

I'm working here.

#75

⇓

Yeah. I'm assistant-managing.

#76

⇓

I thought you worked at the coffee shop.

#77

⇓

I do still, but a Starbucks moved in across the street,

#78

⇓

and they're stealing all our business.

#79

⇓

Right across the street? Well, that is good to know. I love Starbucks.

#80

⇓

Oh. (chuckles)

#81

⇓

- That's why I'm working here. - Do you think you can get me a job?

#82

⇓

Here? I thought you weren't applying.

#83

⇓

No, that was a lie.

#84

⇓

- Oh. - Here's my application.

#85

⇓

- Okay. You didn't fill it out yet. - I know. You do it.

#86

⇓

I don't mind. I'm gonna grab a beer while you're doing that.

#87

⇓

Come get me and give me all my stuff, and I'll start.

#88

⇓

Thank you so much. This is awesome.

#89

⇓

Did you go to high school or...

#90

⇓

So, you guys ready to sell?

#91

⇓

Whoa, whoa, whoa, pal. Listen. We have terms.

#92

⇓

- Okay. What are your terms? - We'd like a plaque.

#93

⇓

Of us, to be hung in the new restaurant

#94

⇓

to pay tribute and preserve our legacy.

#95

⇓

It could also be a statue, okay? Something real classy though.

#96

⇓

Something like where those American soldiers

#97

⇓

are raising that flag up in that one war.

#98

⇓

- The war where we saved Japan. - Oh, correct. Hiroshima.

#99

⇓

Actually, Charlie, it wasn't Hiroshima.

#100

⇓

I'm pretty sure Hiroshima's in Japan.

#101

⇓

We dropped a nuclear bomb on Japan.

#102

⇓

Why the hell did we drop a nuclear bomb on Japan?

#103

⇓

They make all our cars. They're our friends.

#104

⇓

Not my car. I buy American.

#105

⇓

American cars are pieces of shit. Everybody knows it.

#106

⇓

You're making a big mistake. Japan makes the best. And Germany.

#107

⇓

The problem with Germany is they don't make enough hybrids.

#108

⇓

(all arguing) CORPORATE GUY: Excuse me. Excuse me.

#109

⇓

- Excuse me! - What?

#110

⇓

- Is that it? - Not even close.

#111

⇓

It's the tip of the iceberg.

#112

⇓

We also wanna be the ones to blow up the bar.

#113

⇓

- I'm sorry? - Don't worry.

#114

⇓

We've already worked out everyone's part.

#115

⇓

Mac's gonna hold the spool. Charlie's gonna do the countdown.

#116

⇓

Frank and I, we're gonna push the handle down... Kablowie.

#117

⇓

- And I want the chopper. - No! No! No! No!

#118

⇓

Excuse me, sir. I would like a helicopter flyby.

#119

⇓

I don't need to be in it. I just want your corporate chopper

#120

⇓

to fly by my apartment window real low and fast.

#121

⇓

Okay, you know what, here's what I'm gonna do.

#122

⇓

I'm gonna pull the deal off the table.

#123

⇓

(clicks tongue)

#124

⇓

Fine. Then... we'll go with the original offer.

#125

⇓

No.

#126

⇓

(whistles)

#127

⇓

Something a little less than the original offer. Less money?

#128

⇓

We would accept something substantially less.

#129

⇓

I'm gonna go ahead and offer you nothing.

#130

⇓

You promised that you would not bring up the helicopter.

#131

⇓

You're not the boss of me, so quit...

#132

⇓

Technically, I am the boss of you because I own half your shares.

#133

⇓

Since when?

#134

⇓

You sold me half your shares of the bar for goods and services.

#135

⇓

Wait. You've definitely given me half your shares too.

#136

⇓

Maybe I gave you a couple shares when my back was against the wall

#137

⇓

and I needed a little breathing room.

#138

⇓

You gave me a shitload of shares for a half a sandwich.

#139

⇓

What are you guys doing? A hose job where you're hosing me down?

#140

⇓

- You hosed yourself down. - You hosed yourself up and down.

#141

⇓

- What do you want me to do? - I don't care.

#142

⇓

- Get a job. - Oh, get a job? Just get a job?

#143

⇓

Why don't I strap on my job helmet and squeeze down into a job cannon

#144

⇓

and fire off into job-land where jobs grow on jobbies?

#145

⇓

Now we're wasting time. Will you get outta here?

#146

⇓

I'm walking. I can't stand you guys.

#147

⇓

Now that we got rid of dead weight, let's come up with a strategy.

#148

⇓

- What's your plan? - I'm thinking...

#149

⇓

If this fat cat is not gonna woo us, then we gotta woo him.

#150

⇓

(background music) #Yeah, uh-huh#

#151

⇓

(woman singing R&B)

#152

⇓

I thought you guys were taking me to dinner.

#153

⇓

Come on. Who doesn't like to watch a naked woman swing 'round on a pole?

#154

⇓

- Gay man, for one. - Huh?

#155

⇓

- I'm gay. - No.

#156

⇓

You're so big and tough. You do not come across as gay.

#157

⇓

- You don't look like a gay guy. - That's 'cause he's a bear.

#158

⇓

- Huh? - He's a bear.

#159

⇓

Some gay guys are twinks and others are bears. This gay guy's a bear.

#160

⇓

By the way, we're totally cool with that. To each his own.

#161

⇓

Wait. I'm a little confused here. What's a twink?

#162

⇓

A twink is small and slender, like Mac.

#163

⇓

No. I'm too muscular. I'd be a bear.

#164

⇓

Don't think so. Not hairy enough.

#165

⇓

Smooth. I would be a bear.

#166

⇓

See, I don't think you'd be a bear either.

#167

⇓

I don't know what you would be. You're definitely not a twink.

#168

⇓

- I'd be a top. That's for sure. - Maybe.

#169

⇓

Can a twink be a top or is that reserved for bears?

#170

⇓

I'm sure there's a great deal of switching back and forth,

#171

⇓

but I think more often than not bears are tops.

#172

⇓

- Unless they're power bottoms. - What's a power bottom?

#173

⇓

A power bottom is a bottom

#174

⇓

that is capable of receiving an enormous amount of power.

#175

⇓

Actually, you got it backwards.

#176

⇓

A power bottom's generating all the power by doing most of the work.

#177

⇓

Does the power have to do with the size or the strength of the bottom?

#178

⇓

Dennis, I've heard that speed has something to do with it.

#179

⇓

Speed has everything to do with it.

#180

⇓

The speed of the bottom informs the top

#181

⇓

how much pressure he's supposed to apply.

#182

⇓

Speed's the name of the game. Right, buddy?

#183

⇓

Goddamn it.

#184

⇓

Now that you have your silverware all set out,

#185

⇓

you're gonna need to refill all the ketchup bottles in your sections.

#186

⇓

That sounds like a whole thing. Know what I'll do?

#187

⇓

If they start to get empty, I'll grab some from other tables.

#188

⇓

No, because then someone else is doing your work for you.

#189

⇓

- Yeah, which makes my job easier. - That's not how we do it here.

#190

⇓

You actually have to follow the rules. We're very strict.

#191

⇓

Which means you probably shouldn't be drinking beer while...

#192

⇓

You should get used to it because I'm doing it anyway.

#193

⇓

Dee. Perfect. There you are. Look, I need a...

#194

⇓

Hello. This is a surprising turn.

#195

⇓

- Hello, Charlie. - How you doin'? This is good.

#196

⇓

- You working here or... - Look at you. You cracked the case.

#197

⇓

- Why are you here then? - Kinda hit rock bottom. Need a job.

#198

⇓

Dee, can you hook me up with a job here?

#199

⇓

I've been here for two hours. Talk to the manager.

#200

⇓

- You're the manager. Good for you. - Thanks.

#201

⇓

Not an easy accomplishment. So, job?

#202

⇓

I don't think so. You're pretty weird.

#203

⇓

You make me feel uncomfortable and you smell really bad.

#204

⇓

You say that, but I don't... I don't see it.

#205

⇓

Look, when I'm at work, I am all about work. Right, Dee?

#206

⇓

- Really does clean a mean toilet. - I'll sparkle it.

#207

⇓

Fine. Okay, fine. I will give you a job.

#208

⇓

You can be the assistant sanitation apprentice.

#209

⇓

Oho! Nice. What does that guy do?

#210

⇓

That guy is gonna clean up vomit and shit, and put out grease fires.

#211

⇓

Sold. Dee, get me a beer.

#212

⇓

- You can't drink on the job. - You can get your own beer.

#213

⇓

I gotta get a beer to take the edge off

#214

⇓

and then I'll get started doin' the fires or whatever you want me to.

#215

⇓

- Hey. You need to talk to me? - Dee, yeah.

#216

⇓

One of the bills you dropped on one of your tables was the wrong one.

#217

⇓

No. I double-dropped it. I used to do it at Paddy's all the time.

#218

⇓

I use the same bill for two tables and pocket the cash for the other.

#219

⇓

- That's stealing. - I know.

#220

⇓

We're sticking it to those corporate bastards, aren't we?

#221

⇓

- We're not doing anything. - Okay. That's rude.

#222

⇓

If they find out I know that you're doing this, I'm gonna lose my job.

#223

⇓

I'm not asking you to do much.

#224

⇓

Just turn a blind eye while I rob this place stupid.

#225

⇓

No. I need this job.

#226

⇓

- Wow. Fine. Fine. - Okay.

#227

⇓

- I do. - Okay.

#228

⇓

I have no idea why Dennis thinks you're so cool.

#229

⇓

Did you say Dennis thinks I'm cool?

#230

⇓

What's that?

#231

⇓

Did you say Dennis thinks I'm cool?

#232

⇓

He thinks you're really cool, but he's my brother,

#233

⇓

so we recap the day with each other.

#234

⇓

When I tell him about this, I feel like he's gonna be...

#235

⇓

You don't need to tell him that this happened.

#236

⇓

Because if you tell him that I'm cool, then...

#237

⇓

maybe we can forget that this whole thing ever happened.

#238

⇓

- Deal. - Deal.

#239

⇓

Knock, knock. Sorry to interrupt. Dee, let's talk sugars for a second.

#240

⇓

You got a sugar crisis on your tables.

#241

⇓

Those little sugar-holder things, they don't refill themselves.

#242

⇓

We're doing the work for you and you're making your manager look bad.

#243

⇓

- Thanks, Charlie. - No sweat.

#244

⇓

It's a team effort out there, right? You gotta pick up your slack.

#245

⇓

Otherwise, we're doing all the work for you.

#246

⇓

You're getting a little close.

#247

⇓

I was just stretching out and maybe you leaned in.

#248

⇓

I don't think so, but let's not let that happen again.

#249

⇓

Didn't mean to do anything inappropriate. I was trying to help.

#250

⇓

- Okay, back to work, everyone. - Back to work, everybody.

#251

⇓

- Back to work. - Back to work.

#252

⇓

Will you please drop the act?

#253

⇓

She is not into you and you're making me look bad.

#254

⇓

You're making yourself look bad. Your tables are pathetic, Dee.

#255

⇓

- You're not gonna impress her. - We'll see.

#256

⇓

(doo-wop vocalizing) Yeah.

#257

⇓

- Oh! MAN: He's still got it.

#258

⇓

What is going on here, Frank? Who are these guys?

#259

⇓

These are the Yellow Jacket boys, my old street gang from the '50s.

#260

⇓

What exactly are your old, pathetic friends doing here?

#261

⇓

The corporate guy decided to buy the bookstore down the block.

#262

⇓

So me and the boys thought we'd do a little loitering.

#263

⇓

That's dumb. That is a dumb, stupid, dumb idea. Dumb.

#264

⇓

No, Dennis, it's not that dumb of an idea.

#265

⇓

If we can establish there's a seedy element outside of the bookstore,

#266

⇓

maybe the offer comes back to us.

#267

⇓

- Exactly. - You guys do whatever you want.

#268

⇓

I'm going back to that Oldies Rock Café and get Charlie and Dee back.

#269

⇓

If we're not gonna sell the bar,

#270

⇓

we at least need them here cleaning our toilets and serving us our beer.

#271

⇓

Great. Frank, please tell me you have another one of those jackets.

#272

⇓

Not for you, bitch.

#273

⇓

What the hell are you doing here?

#274

⇓

We want you guys to come back because they pulled out of the sale.

#275

⇓

So you screw me over to sell the bar and then you blow it.

#276

⇓

Now you want me to come back just to serve you drinks and not pay me.

#277

⇓

Is that a yes or... What is that?

#278

⇓

That's a no, dick. I am very happy here.

#279

⇓

I will have you know I am taking this place up the butt

#280

⇓

with a little scheme I like to call Dee's Double Drop.

#281

⇓

- You're doing it here too? - You know about this?

#282

⇓

Oh, yeah. We always used to take the difference out of your purse.

#283

⇓

Are there always this many chicks here?

#284

⇓

Yeah. College crowd. - Oh, college chicks. I like that.

#285

⇓

Tell you what. Why don't you get me a job as a bartender here?

#286

⇓

No. Screw you. I'm not helping you.

#287

⇓

- Why wouldn't you help me? - What are you talking about?

#288

⇓

- How is it not obvious? - It's not obvious to me at all.

#289

⇓

You are stupid. You are straight-up stupid.

#290

⇓

Why am I talking to you about this anyway? You're just an underling.

#291

⇓

- Let me talk to a manager. - I think that's a very good idea.

#292

⇓

Why don't you take this application and go to the back office?

#293

⇓

I'll send themanager right in to you.

#294

⇓

- All right. Back here? - Back there.

#295

⇓

You son of a bitch.

#296

⇓

Hey. Sorry for keeping you waiting. It's busy out there tonight.

#297

⇓

So, Charlie Kelly. Nice to meet you.

#298

⇓

I understand you're looking for a bartending position.

#299

⇓

What the hell you doin'? You're the manager here now?

#300

⇓

Things move very quickly at the Oldies Rock Café.

#301

⇓

May I? I need to look over your forms here.

#302

⇓

I think I'll just... Can I just take a quick peek at that? Thank you.

#303

⇓

Let's take a little look-see here. Okay. Good.

#304

⇓

Good, good. This all looks good.

#305

⇓

- So, tell me about Paddy's Pub. - Are you kidding me?

#306

⇓

I think I need to know what your duties were.

#307

⇓

- I'm not answering any... - Did you do anything there?

#308

⇓

I am not gonna answer any of your questions. Just give me a job.

#309

⇓

Really. Well, does not respond well to authority. Noted.

#310

⇓

Goddamn it. Goddamn you.

#311

⇓

Language is a bit of an issue here at the Oldies Rock Café.

#312

⇓

Charlie! What are you doing in my office?

#313

⇓

- A little research. - Are you... Dennis.

#314

⇓

- Hey. - Hi.

#315

⇓

Wow, look at you. You look... Lookin' good.

#316

⇓

Okay.

#317

⇓

- Are you the manager? - Yes.

#318

⇓

First of all, let me just apologize to you for never calling you back.

#319

⇓

And secondly, I'm here because I'm looking for a bartending job.

#320

⇓

Oh, well, maybe I should then...

#321

⇓

- I'll go and just get your... - Get me a uniform?

#322

⇓

Is that what you were gonna say? We said the same thing earlier.

#323

⇓

- Off you go. - Okay. (chuckling)

#324

⇓

- What is her name again? - I hate you.

#325

⇓

(all chattering, laughing)

#326

⇓

That was a knock, man.

#327

⇓

This isn't very intimidating, Frank.

#328

⇓

Don't worry. We're sending out a strong message, Mac.

#329

⇓

Hey, look, kids. It's a '50s doo-wop group.

#330

⇓

What? No, we're not a '50s doo-wop group.

#331

⇓

- Would you sing us a song? - We don't sing, guy.

#332

⇓

Oh, yeah, we do. We'll sing. We'll sing for you. Right, boys?

#333

⇓

- You guys sing? - Of course we sing. We're a gang.

#334

⇓

- No, no! Gangsters don't sing! - What are you talking about?

#335

⇓

Ever hear of gangster rap?

#336

⇓

We're not gonna intimidate anybody

#337

⇓

f we're entertaining the whole goddamn neighborhood.

#338

⇓

Are you kidding me? Listen to this.

#339

⇓

(pitch pipe) FRANK: One, two, three.

#340

⇓

#Those darn Yellow Jacket boys Buzz, buzz, bumble

#341

⇓

#They don't pay for soda pop 'Cause they really rumble

#342

⇓

(vocalizing) #Buzz, buzz, buzz#

#343

⇓

Goddamn it!

#344

⇓

(continues) Goddamn it!

#345

⇓

#Ooh-ooh Yeah

#346

⇓

(doo-wop group) #Bum-ba, ba-ba-ba-ba oomba-oo#

#347

⇓

DENNIS: Lick 'em and stick 'em, ladies!

#348

⇓

(doo-wop continues)

#349

⇓

- Whoo! - Excuse me.

#350

⇓

You know what? You are not allowed to drink on the job.

#351

⇓

- What are you doing? - I'm a bartender. I drink.

#352

⇓

That's against the rules.

#353

⇓

We're not actually following the rules, are we?

#354

⇓

Cocktail, can I get those drinks before my shift ends?

#355

⇓

Sorry. I've been so busy getting so many phone numbers.

#356

⇓

Yeah, what's that all about?

#357

⇓

While you've been picking up bar whores,

#358

⇓

I have been double-dropping like a bastard out there.

#359

⇓

- You're double-dropping again? - I never stopped it.

#360

⇓

- That is unbelievable. - What are you on about?

#361

⇓

I thought we were sticking it to the man.

#362

⇓

I am not sticking it to anyone.

#363

⇓

This is my job. I have to report you two.

#364

⇓

Wow. (mocking chatter)

#365

⇓

This tattletale business is very ugly, isn't it, Dennis?

#366

⇓

- Yeah. - You know what, Dennis?

#367

⇓

I took a chance giving you a job here and you're screwing me over.

#368

⇓

Why are you being so needy?

#369

⇓

Do you realize how unattractive that is?

#370

⇓

Don't you wanna be attractive to me? Come on.

#371

⇓

All right, ladies. Who wants to do a shot off my abs?

#372

⇓

(women whooping)

#373

⇓

What's goin' on over there? Are you all right?

#374

⇓

I'm not all right. Dennis and Dee are being complete ass-faces.

#375

⇓

I gave them a chance to work here.

#376

⇓

They're stealing from the restaurant and I'm gonna get fired.

#377

⇓

- What? They're stealing? - Yes.

#378

⇓

I will take care of Dennis and Dee for you, all right?

#379

⇓

I will rid you of those two jerks.

#380

⇓

- Really? - Yes.

#381

⇓

Thanks, Charlie. That's really nice of you.

#382

⇓

Hey, how about a hug to cheer you up?

#383

⇓

Well, a quick one.

#384

⇓

Oh, for real? Oh, man.

#385

⇓

- Okay. That's good. - Doesn't it feel right?

#386

⇓

That felt good. No. Thank you.

#387

⇓

- Why are you so sweaty? - It's really hot in here.

#388

⇓

- It's not hot. It's freezing. - It is freezing, isn't it?

#389

⇓

They're blazing that A.C.

#390

⇓

All right, listen, Yellow Jackets. Just let me do the talking.

#391

⇓

I'm gonna let my blade do the talkin'.

#392

⇓

Jesus Christ, Frank! No blades. Okay?

#393

⇓

We're just sending him a message.

#394

⇓

If he doesn't buy the bar, then there's gonna be trouble.

#395

⇓

You bet. (clears throat)

#396

⇓

What are you people doing at my house?

#397

⇓

- Actually, sir, we're here to talk. - I'm not buying your bar.

#398

⇓

Look, pal, you'd better not mess with us.

#399

⇓

You see Hawky over here?

#400

⇓

He's crazy. I'm not sure what he's capable of.

#401

⇓

Is that right? You got something to say, old man?

#402

⇓

(Hawky gasps)

#403

⇓

(gasping)

#404

⇓

(body thuds on ground) Good night.

#405

⇓

I just topped myself for most phone numbers in one day... nine.

#406

⇓

- Nine? Come on. - What do you think?

#407

⇓

- Six strawberry margaritas, please. - You got it, babe.

#408

⇓

Don't make 'em, 'cause you won't have your jobs much longer.

#409

⇓

Corporate's on their way down here right now to fire your asses.

#410

⇓

- What? You told on us? - Babe, don't do that to me.

#411

⇓

I feel like we were getting so close, sweet baby.

#412

⇓

- He doesn't even know your name. - Yes, I do.

#413

⇓

- What's my name? What is it? - Beautiful.

#414

⇓

- Oh, my God. You're a dick. - I called you that all the time.

#415

⇓

Would you not want to be called beautiful?

#416

⇓

One of you guys the one who called me?

#417

⇓

Right here. These are the two that were stealing.

#418

⇓

Wait a minute. I know you. And you.

#419

⇓

You own that dive bar down the street.

#420

⇓

You're the corporate dude with the helicopter.

#421

⇓

Here's the thing. I had a really strange night last night.

#422

⇓

Your friends and their doo-wop group

#423

⇓

showed up at my house and attacked me.

#424

⇓

One of them died on my doorstep and it sort of put me in a funk.

#425

⇓

So I'm gonna clean house and you're all fired.

#426

⇓

- What? - Yeah. You guys are all fired.

#427

⇓

I'm not fired. I'm not fired, right?

#428

⇓

- Did you hire these people? - She sure did.

#429

⇓

She hired me.

#430

⇓

Then clearly you're an idiot because these people are psychopaths.

#431

⇓

But, no, you're not fired. I'm just kidding. You are.

#432

⇓

- Get the hell out of my restaurant. - Psychotic. Come on.

#433

⇓

Goddamn it, Charlie! Really?

#434

⇓

How am I gonna pay for my rent next month?

#435

⇓

- Don't worry. Come live with me. (shrieks) - Go to hell!

#436

⇓

She is strung up supertight.

#437

⇓

You guys wanna do some farewell shots?

#438

⇓

- Absolutely, buddy. - Here we go.

#439

⇓

Hawky lived a fast, hard life.

#440

⇓

Some stars shine so bright that they burn out before their time.

#441

⇓

We're gonna miss you, Hawky.

#442

⇓

(all coughing)

#443

⇓

(coughing)

#444

⇓

- Okay. You ready, boys? - Yeah.

#445

⇓

#Boom, boom boom, boom Hawky never spoke much

#446

⇓

#But he had his doo-doo-doo-wop

#447

⇓

#Now you're buzzing around

#448

⇓

#That hive in the sky (others vocalizing)

#449

⇓

#Yellow Jacket Hawky Oh, yeah

#450

⇓

#We bid you good-bye

#451

⇓

(vocalizing)

#452

⇓

#Buzz#

#453

⇓