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Home » Bad Thoughts » S02E01 — Bad Impulses

Bad Thoughts

Season 2, Episode 1 — Bad Impulses

TMDB episode metadata
Show: Bad Thoughts
Episode title: Bad Impulses
Air date: May 24, 2026
Directors: Rami Hachache, Jeremy Konner, Tyler Cornack
Top billed cast: Tom Segura
A new wonder drug sends one man off the rails. An empty-nester steps into an unlikely brotherhood. A date crumbles over something in the air.
Source: TMDB
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I usually use lube to get in there.
lubeusually
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Sorry.
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I kid, I kid.
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No, you're looking great, Tom. Inside and out.
looking
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Thanks. I meant to tell you,
meantthanks
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I've been taking those vitamin B supplements you gave me.
supplementsvitamin
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- Mm. - Helps with energy in the afternoon.
afternoonenergyhelps
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Oh yeah, I take those myself.
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- Take it with a full glass of water. - Okay.
fullglasswater
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Oh, I meant to tell you. I watched Bad Thoughts.
meantthoughtswatched
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That is one wild show, man.
wild
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Yeah. Thanks, man.
thanks
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Personally, I thought you were funnier when you were fatter.
fatterfunnierpersonally
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But, I mean, it's still really good.
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Real good.
real
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I like that episode when you got all frustrated with that rude barista.
episodefrustratedrude
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So relatable.
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Yeah, that was a fun scene, man.
funscene
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That was fun.
fun
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Sometimes, wish I could do that stuff in real life.
liferealreal-lifesometimesstuffwish
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What if you could?
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What do you mean?
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There's a pill.
pill
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It's new. It's not 100% FDA approved,
approved
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but RFK Jr. and I are buddies from Harvard, so...
buddiesharvard
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You just have those on you?
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Not legally.
legally
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What do they do?
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Completely takes away all of your inhibitions.
completelytakes
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All right? So no more impulse control.
controlimpulse
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Just you being your true, authentic self.
authenticself
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Last night, I told my wife she needs to lose a ton of weight.
loseneedsnightweightwife
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I never felt more alive.
alive
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Open up that pretty mouth.
mouthopen
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Good boy.
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- Are you fucking kidding me? - I swear to God.
fuckingfucking-kiddingkiddingswear
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- No fucking way. - Yes, way.
fucking
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Oh my God, I'm dead. I'm, like, in the morgue!
deadmorgue
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I know, right?
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- I'm kidding. I'm in the doctor's office. - Oh, you are?
doctorsdoctors-officekiddingoffice
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Yeah, I just got back from my Kegel retreat.
retreat
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- It was insane. - Honestly, I'm jealous.
insanejealous
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Yeah, my yoni egg's, like, still up there.
eggs
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Yes, girl. Love that.
girllove
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I'm still on fire down there, but in, like, the best way.
bestfire
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Is that why you're at the doctor's?
doctors
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No, I'm trying to get my fat transferred into my tits.
titstransferred
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My mom's best friend did that, and actuall--
bestbest-friendfriendmoms
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Whoo!
whoo
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You don't need that.
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What the--?
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What? Fuck you.
fuck
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You've got to go for it, go for it
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You've got to go for it, go for it
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You've got to go for it, go for it
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Whatcha got to lose?
losewhatcha
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Whatcha got to lose?
losewhatcha
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You've got to go for it, go for it
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You've got to go for it...
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You fucking entitled fuck! Pick up that! Pick up your fucking shit!
entitledfuckfuckingpick
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You fuck!
fuck
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If you want romance
romance
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You've got to take that chance
chance
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This could be the day
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For love to come your way
love
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Whatcha got to lose?
losewhatcha
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Oh dear!
dear
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Are you fucking crazy? You fucking dick!
crazydickfuckingfucking-crazyfucking-dick
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Shut up.
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On the fucking ground!
fuckingground
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Don't move!
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Do not fucking move!
fucking
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Drop the weapon!
dropweapon
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Drop the weapon now!
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Drop that fucking weapon!
dropfuckingweapon
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Hands where I can see them! Drop the weapon!
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Don't move!
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Don't fucking move!
fucking
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I can't believe you're a college freshman.
believecollegefreshman
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Dad, you just promise me that you'll get a hobby.
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Okay? I don't want you sitting at home all alone.
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- Since Mom died, you've been a little... - Honey, don't worry about me.
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I'll be fine.
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Have fun!
fun
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- I love you. - I love you too, sweetie.
lovesweetie
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Bye.
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Just because you're an empty nester doesn't mean you have to be a homebody.
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Okay? Go out, meet some friends. Maybe you'll like it.
friendsmeet
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Huh.
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Hey, sweetie, it's Dad.
sweetie
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How's college?
college
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Yeah, I've been having a great time at the house.
havinghouse
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- Your laptop's about to fall out. - Good looking out, bro.
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- Wow, those sneakers are cool. - You should cop you some.
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I gotta cop some.
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Nice shoes, grandpa.
grandpashoes
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Freakin' weirdo.
freakinweirdo
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but I've always believed that everything happens for a reason.
believedhappensreason
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Shoes looking dope as hell.
dopelookingshoes
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- Thanks. - Got some friends I want you to meet.
friendsmeetthanks
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Okay.
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- This is the frat house. - Hey, yo.
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- Who's the substitute teacher? - Maybe I should go.
substitutesubstitute-teacherteacher
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No, you're good.
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You all, as young Black men, have the opportunity
blackopportunityyoung
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to change your lives for the better
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and to become a part of a brotherhood.
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Yeah!
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How the hell are they doing that?
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Practice.
practice
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You know what? I came into this thing a little nervous.
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But now I'm starting to feel like a real brother.
brotherrealstarting
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- So, you gonna pledge? - I think I am.
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