Home » South Park » S26E04 — Deep Learning

South Park

Season 26, Episode 4 — Deep Learning

* I'm goin' down to South Park, gonna have myself a time *

#1

⇓

* Friendly faces everywhere *

#2

⇓

* Humble folks without temptation *

#3

⇓

* Goin' down to South Park, gonna leave my woes behind *

#4

⇓

* Ample parking day or night *

#5

⇓

* People spouting, "Howdy, neighbor!" *

#6

⇓

* Heading on up to South Park, gonna see if I can't unwind *

#7

⇓

* Mrph rmhmhm rm! Mrph rmhmhm rm! *

#8

⇓

* Come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine *

#9

⇓

You guys! You guys, oh, my gosh! Oh, my gosh!

#10

⇓

- What is it? - What happened, Bebe?

#11

⇓

Clyde just sent me another text.

#12

⇓

Oh, what's this one say?

#13

⇓

I texted him if he thought about me all the time,

#14

⇓

and he texted back,

#15

⇓

"It certainly seems like all the time."

#16

⇓

It's hard to get someone like you out of my mind.

#17

⇓

Aw!

#18

⇓

Doesn't he just send the best texts ever?

#19

⇓

- Yeah, he does! - Sure does.

#20

⇓

Yesterday, I texted him, "How do you know

#21

⇓

you're in love with me?" And he said,

#22

⇓

"I know I'm in love with you because spending time with you

#23

⇓

makes me feel like I'm home

#24

⇓

and I can't imagine life without you."

#25

⇓

- Aw! - That's so sweet!

#26

⇓

Clyde wrote that?

#27

⇓

OMG, Clyde.

#28

⇓

Do you really care about me that much?

#29

⇓

Does Stan ever talk to you like that, Wendy?

#30

⇓

No. Every time I send

#31

⇓

Stan a text, he just responds with a thumbs up emoji.

#32

⇓

Yeah, well, Clyde is just really into me.

#33

⇓

Oh, he's texting back!

#34

⇓

"Yes, I do care about you that much.

#35

⇓

You mean a lot to me and I care deeply about you."

#36

⇓

Aw!

#37

⇓

He sure is in love with you, Bebe!

#38

⇓

He's a goddamn dream boat!

#39

⇓

_

#40

⇓

_

#41

⇓

Hey, Stan, is there a time we could talk today?

#42

⇓

I'm feeling a little insecure about some things.

#43

⇓

Hey, Clyde, can I talk to you?

#44

⇓

- Sure, bro. - Well, um,

#45

⇓

Wendy just came up to me and was acting all hurt

#46

⇓

'cause she thinks I don't care about her.

#47

⇓

Uh-huh.

#48

⇓

And she said that she wishes I would reply to her texts

#49

⇓

the way that Clyde responds to Bebe's.

#50

⇓

So, like... how do you do it?

#51

⇓

ChatGPT, dude.

#52

⇓

- ChatGPT? - Yeah, dude,

#53

⇓

there's a bunch of apps and programs you can subscribe

#54

⇓

to that use OpenAI to do all your writing for you.

#55

⇓

People use em to write poems, write job applications,

#56

⇓

but what they're really good for

#57

⇓

is dealing with chicks.

#58

⇓

Here. Check it out.

#59

⇓

There's tons of ChatGPT apps for you phone.

#60

⇓

So, then I can take whatever latest dumb thing

#61

⇓

Bebe texted me, I copy it,

#62

⇓

then I open the GPT app,

#63

⇓

Click "respond to," paste her text here, hit "write."

#64

⇓

It just thinks for a second.

#65

⇓

"You would look great with any length of hair!

#66

⇓

Trying a new look could be fun."

#67

⇓

Copy that into messages and send it off.

#68

⇓

It's super easy and convenient and it saves me a ton of time

#69

⇓

because she texts me so goddamn much.

#70

⇓

Jesus Christ!

#71

⇓

"I probably won't do it, but thanks for being supportive."

#72

⇓

Cut. Paste. Write. Cut. Messages. Paste.

#73

⇓

Send. There.

#74

⇓

_

#75

⇓

All done with her stupid shit.

#76

⇓

This is a real app?

#77

⇓

It'll completely change your life, bro.

#78

⇓

Just, uh... Just don't tell anybody, huh?

#79

⇓

If Bebe found out, I'd be a dead man.

#80

⇓

_

#81

⇓

* Wet ink on the paper makes me nervous *

#82

⇓

* I nearly lose my vision *

#83

⇓

* Then my breath and my pulse and my mind *

#84

⇓

* Quicken *

#85

⇓

* Head below my knees *

#86

⇓

* I come alive *

#87

⇓

_

#88

⇓

* Keeps me awake thinking back *

#89

⇓

* Oh, my first sight of you was my first heart attack *

#90

⇓

* Every letter makes me lose my reason *

#91

⇓

* Every word is like your kindest touch *

#92

⇓

* And if I told you *

#93

⇓

* How much I need you *

#94

⇓

* Would you give me yourself or turn and run? *

#95

⇓

_

#96

⇓

* I read to myself until I go blind *

#97

⇓

* Your words fall around me all through the night *

#98

⇓

* I can't resist and I don't want to fight *

#99

⇓

* Will you be held *

#100

⇓

* Will you be touched *

#101

⇓

* By my hand through this paper? *

#102

⇓

* This is all too much *

#103

⇓

* Will we be ravaged *

#104

⇓

* Will we be true *

#105

⇓

* To somebody perfect, somebody like you *

#106

⇓

* I'm tired of yearning *

#107

⇓

* I'm tired of learning *

#108

⇓

* I need to drink you *

#109

⇓

* My heart has been burning *

#110

⇓

Hello?

#111

⇓

Hey, Stan, I didn't get it yet.

#112

⇓

Didn't get what?

#113

⇓

You asked me if I wanted

#114

⇓

a bedtime story about frogs or a song about swans.

#115

⇓

I said a bedtime story!

#116

⇓

Oh, yeah, I-I wrote it.

#117

⇓

I'll send it to you right now.

#118

⇓

Okay, bye!

#119

⇓

Okay, children let's take our seats.

#120

⇓

I've graded your midterm essays,

#121

⇓

and I have to say, for the most part, they were terrible.

#122

⇓

However, there were some essays that I'm very happy with.

#123

⇓

There was a really great essay from Clyde

#124

⇓

on the "1840s Labor Unions

#125

⇓

and Their Effect on the Industrial Revolution."

#126

⇓

Let's hear it for Clyde, kids!

#127

⇓

Great work, Clyde.

#128

⇓

Thank you. Thank you.

#129

⇓

- Uh-huh. - What?

#130

⇓

Someone who never writes good essays, Butters,

#131

⇓

wrote an amazing piece on "Post-Cold War Poland

#132

⇓

and the Changing Provision of Security."

#133

⇓

Check plus, Butters!

#134

⇓

Oh, uh... thanks.

#135

⇓

We also have another student

#136

⇓

who wrote a shockingly good paper.

#137

⇓

This one's called "A Feminist Neoliberal Perspective"

#138

⇓

of Post-War Afghanistan" by Eric Cartman!

#139

⇓

Ah, yes, thank you, thank you.

#140

⇓

And this week, we have a new student to the check plus club.

#141

⇓

For an amazing essay called "Writing a Policy

#142

⇓

About Improving the Rights of Migrant Workers."

#143

⇓

Let's hear it for Stan!

#144

⇓

All right, what the hell is going on?!

#145

⇓

You tell me what's going on!

#146

⇓

Clearly, somebody told Stan about ChatGPT!

#147

⇓

You guys are using it to write essays, too!

#148

⇓

Yes, we are all using it,

#149

⇓

and we had a pact that we wouldn't tell anyone else

#150

⇓

because then everyone will start using it

#151

⇓

and Mr. Garrison will figure it out!

#152

⇓

So who fucking blabbed to Stan?

#153

⇓

I just told Stan about it as a tool to text his girlfriend.

#154

⇓

God damn it, Clyde!

#155

⇓

You don't use an amazing AI cheating tool to talk to girls!

#156

⇓

You're gonna ruin everything!

#157

⇓

This can't be open source, you guys!

#158

⇓

If everyone starts using ChatGPT,

#159

⇓

then we lose our unfair advantage.

#160

⇓

Oh, God-fucking-damn it.

#161

⇓

If they find out that we don't have to work anymore,

#162

⇓

then they aren't gonna want to work and then we're all screwed!

#163

⇓

Who's the one who first found ChatGPT

#164

⇓

and thought to use it for essays?

#165

⇓

- Butters. - Right.

#166

⇓

But then Butters told me about it,

#167

⇓

and I told him not to tell anyone else!

#168

⇓

Right, but then you went and blabbed about it to Clyde.

#169

⇓

That's right. I was a little excited.

#170

⇓

You guys, I'm not going to tell anyone else!

#171

⇓

You really think I want Wendy finding out about this thing?

#172

⇓

Fine. So we're all in it together.

#173

⇓

But you guys need to be careful what you use it for.

#174

⇓

Because once you bring girls into things,

#175

⇓

they're gonna ruin it.

#176

⇓

Just like slavery.

#177

⇓

Ugh.

#178

⇓

Ugh, God, I can't take it, Rick!

#179

⇓

What's the matter?

#180

⇓

Oh, it's just grading these stupid papers all the time!

#181

⇓

I have to read em' all and comment on each one of them.

#182

⇓

Jesus Christ. Something's changed,

#183

⇓

and now a few of the kids are writing these really long,

#184

⇓

detailed essays. I don't know what's going on.

#185

⇓

I guess I've taught them really well,

#186

⇓

maybe a bit too well.

#187

⇓

Uh, yeah...

#188

⇓

Have you ever heard of ChatGPT?

#189

⇓

ChatGPWhoza what? The fuck is that?

#190

⇓

There's a few apps now, really. But see?

#191

⇓

It has AI and takes any subject matter

#192

⇓

and can instantly give you

#193

⇓

whatever kind of content you want.

#194

⇓

Wait a minute...

#195

⇓

There's an app that anyone can use

#196

⇓

that does all the thinking and writing for you?

#197

⇓

Yeah.

#198

⇓

Well, this is gonna be amazing!

#199

⇓

I can use it to grade all my papers,

#200

⇓

and no one will ever know!

#201

⇓

Uh, yeah, sure.

#202

⇓

I'll just type the title of the essay in,

#203

⇓

and it'll generate a comment,

#204

⇓

and I don't even have to read the stupid things!

#205

⇓

Yeah, and then you'll have more free time.

#206

⇓

Oh, this is great. Thanks so much!

#207

⇓

Just got to make sure nobody finds out I'm being sneaky

#208

⇓

Oh, and... And, hey, Rick?

#209

⇓

Yeah?

#210

⇓

Thanks for all the replies to my texts today.

#211

⇓

They were really supportive.

#212

⇓

Oh. Yeah. Sure thing.

#213

⇓

This place is good, right?

#214

⇓

Yeah, it's really good.

#215

⇓

Well, I know it's not much,

#216

⇓

but I just wanted to take you out somewhere

#217

⇓

- to say thanks, Stan. - For what?

#218

⇓

For stepping up and working on communication

#219

⇓

when I asked you to.

#220

⇓

Oh, that's cool.

#221

⇓

The things we've talked about, Stan,

#222

⇓

it's really helping me.

#223

⇓

I don't feel so alone and misunderstood.

#224

⇓

I've been so scared for so long to tell anyone

#225

⇓

what happened to me when I was six.

#226

⇓

- Yeah. - And...

#227

⇓

everything you had to say about it was just right.

#228

⇓

It really changed the way I think about the whole thing.

#229

⇓

Yeah.

#230

⇓

And when you said the same thing happened to you, I...

#231

⇓

I couldn't believe it.

#232

⇓

Were you at home when it happened?

#233

⇓

- Yep. - But you're right.

#234

⇓

We can't dwell on those things.

#235

⇓

You're right about a lot of stuff.

#236

⇓

There was just that one thing I don't understand.

#237

⇓

About the boating accident in Switzerland?

#238

⇓

The boating accident in Switzerland...

#239

⇓

was tough.

#240

⇓

I thought you said it was great.

#241

⇓

It was great. And very tough.

#242

⇓

But how did it cause the thing with your cousin?

#243

⇓

Oh, shit. What time is it?

#244

⇓

It's a little after 4:00.

#245

⇓

Oh, shit. My mom told me to be home

#246

⇓

right at a little after 4:00.

#247

⇓

Sorry, Wendy. I-I gotta get going.

#248

⇓

No, no, no, that's totally okay. I gotta get going, too.

#249

⇓

Okay, cool.

#250

⇓

Thank you so much, Stan.

#251

⇓

Thank you for being the only real thing in my life.

#252

⇓

Shit.

#253

⇓

"Oh, Bebe, your name is like a song.

#254

⇓

A melody stuck in my head so long.

#255

⇓

I can't help but smile when I hear it said...

#256

⇓

Bebe, the name always in my head."

#257

⇓

Oh, God, so obvious.

#258

⇓

"I dream of spending my days with you, Bebe.

#259

⇓

In South Park or anywhere that maybay.

#260

⇓

Talking, laughing, just being together."

#261

⇓

"In a dream I hope will last forever."

#262

⇓

Excuse me, Mr. Garrison?

#263

⇓

* Beruhre meinen korper *

#264

⇓

Mr. Garrison?!

#265

⇓

Oh, yeah. What?

#266

⇓

I'm sorry, but I need to address your class really quick.

#267

⇓

Oh, yeah, yeah, sure. Go ahead.

#268

⇓

M'kay, kids, I need to discuss a very serious matter.

#269

⇓

There is a rumor going around that someone at this school

#270

⇓

is using open AI technology to do their work.

#271

⇓

Well, that's crazy! Who would do that?

#272

⇓

Now, I know that everyone at this school is honest,

#273

⇓

hard-working, m'kay, wouldn't...

#274

⇓

Wouldn't even want to use this "ChatGBD."

#275

⇓

ChatGPT!

#276

⇓

Oh, m'kay, but the school board

#277

⇓

has decided to call in a company

#278

⇓

that can detect AI in schoolwork

#279

⇓

and make sure nobody here is cheating.

#280

⇓

They... They are gonna what?

#281

⇓

So we're just gonna collect all the school work that we can...

#282

⇓

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

#283

⇓

And we are gonna have them analyzed

#284

⇓

for any AI contributions, m'kay?

#285

⇓

Well, those are... Those aren't, uh, quite ready.

#286

⇓

Don't worry. We'll get these all back to you

#287

⇓

after the testers look through them.

#288

⇓

M'kay, kids, sorry for the intrusion.

#289

⇓

Get back to your day. M'kay.

#290

⇓

God fucking dammit!

#291

⇓

I told you guys this was gonna happen!

#292

⇓

What are we gonna do?!

#293

⇓

There's nothing we can do. It's over!

#294

⇓

We've lost our unfair advantage.

#295

⇓

That's not what's important.

#296

⇓

If they find out I've been using open AI for class,

#297

⇓

Wendy's gonna know I've been using it with her,

#298

⇓

and it's gonna crush her!

#299

⇓

Dude, same. Bebe's gonna fucking kill me.

#300

⇓

And who's fault is that, you guys?

#301

⇓

I told you that once you bring women into things,

#302

⇓

they ruin it just like they did slavery.

#303

⇓

Okay, Eric, could you explain

#304

⇓

exactly how women ruined slavery?

#305

⇓

No, I can't, because I can't use fuckin' ChatGPT anymore

#306

⇓

'cause we got fuckin' busted!

#307

⇓

Look, maybe...

#308

⇓

Maybe this AI-detection technology won't work.

#309

⇓

It doesn't matter if it doesn't work.

#310

⇓

Cat is out of the bag now!

#311

⇓

This was supposed to be our thing

#312

⇓

for us to get ahead, but now...

#313

⇓

God dammit, get the fuck out of here!

#314

⇓

M'kay, I'm just a little confused.

#315

⇓

You think we shouldn't have the kids' schoolwork analyzed

#316

⇓

for using AI writing apps?

#317

⇓

Look, it's just...

#318

⇓

It's really unfair to the kids.

#319

⇓

I mean, what are we saying? That we don't trust them?

#320

⇓

I mean, geez!

#321

⇓

But don't you think if kids aren't writing their own papers,

#322

⇓

we should know?

#323

⇓

Oh, what are people afraid of?

#324

⇓

That AI is gonna replace real writers?

#325

⇓

That Hollywood is gonna become

#326

⇓

just a bland recycling of old ideas?

#327

⇓

It already is! AI might help it!

#328

⇓

Well, I don't know what you want me to do.

#329

⇓

Yes?

#330

⇓

Mr. Mackey, the technician

#331

⇓

from the school advisory board

#332

⇓

just pulled into the parking lot.

#333

⇓

Someone here using AI technology to do their classwork?!

#334

⇓

If there is ChatGPT being used here,

#335

⇓

I will find it.

#336

⇓

Shadowbane! Fly!

#337

⇓

Uh, hello.

#338

⇓

I'm the counselor here at South Park Elementary.

#339

⇓

This is one of our teachers, Mr. Garrison.

#340

⇓

I...

#341

⇓

have been hired by the Park Country School Board

#342

⇓

to determine if any students

#343

⇓

are using generative AI technology to do their work.

#344

⇓

Uh, yes, we're excited to work with you.

#345

⇓

We have a lot of great students here.

#346

⇓

It only takes one student.

#347

⇓

And then it spreads like a cancer.

#348

⇓

Come, Shadowbane!

#349

⇓

Let us find this ChatGPT-using cheater!

#350

⇓

I'm gonna get fired. That's it.

#351

⇓

Mr. Garrison, can I talk to you?

#352

⇓

Oh, is it important, Stan?

#353

⇓

'Cause I'm kinda dealing with some stuff right now.

#354

⇓

Yes, it is important.

#355

⇓

You know, when you've done something wrong,

#356

⇓

sometimes the best thing to do

#357

⇓

is just come out and admit it.

#358

⇓

Okay.

#359

⇓

Okay, you're right. How did you find out?

#360

⇓

Clyde told me about it.

#361

⇓

I came to you because if they find something out about me,

#362

⇓

and you punish me,

#363

⇓

it's gonna really hurt Wendy.

#364

⇓

I don't wanna punish anyone, Stan.

#365

⇓

- I completely understand. - You do?

#366

⇓

Sure, I think most the world does.

#367

⇓

I mean, why does it matter who uses AI apps?

#368

⇓

It's just like having a good writer's assistant.

#369

⇓

Yeah, like a good writer's assistant.

#370

⇓

Yeah! I mean, you're still the one

#371

⇓

taking the time to, like, push the buttons and stuff.

#372

⇓

Yeah! So you really don't think

#373

⇓

Wendy would be upset that I used ChatGPT

#374

⇓

to respond to her texts?

#375

⇓

Hold on. People can use it

#376

⇓

to respond to other people's texts?!

#377

⇓

Rick! That lying piece of shit!

#378

⇓

But we were just saying it was understandable...

#379

⇓

No! This is totally different!

#380

⇓

Whoever uses it for messages is a fuckin' monster!

#381

⇓

M'kay, everyone, please just stay calm.

#382

⇓

They got him!

#383

⇓

They found the kid that's been using AI apps.

#384

⇓

Get back! Get back, all of you.

#385

⇓

I have the student isolated inside.

#386

⇓

W-What exactly have you found?

#387

⇓

We went through thousands of papers.

#388

⇓

But then Shadowbane detected Chatbot writing

#389

⇓

in this student's phone.

#390

⇓

There, you see? She's going crazy.

#391

⇓

Oh, no.

#392

⇓

What is going on?

#393

⇓

Oh, God. No, no, no, no.

#394

⇓

The GPT stuff on her phone didn't come from her.

#395

⇓

Keep all the children back, Mackey.

#396

⇓

We can't let it spread!

#397

⇓

I will go inside and get her confession.

#398

⇓

You have been cheating on your schoolwork.

#399

⇓

- No, I haven't. - Say it!

#400

⇓

You have used ChatGPT to write your essays for you.

#401

⇓

Now humble yourself before the school!

#402

⇓

I write my own essays.

#403

⇓

I don't know what to do.

#404

⇓

I'm not creative enough to think of a way out of this.

#405

⇓

Wait. That's it.

#406

⇓

Once upon a time,

#407

⇓

there was a boy named Stan who lived in South Park.

#408

⇓

Stan loved his girlfriend very much,

#409

⇓

but lately he hadn't been truthful with her.

#410

⇓

One day, when Stan got to school,

#411

⇓

he was approached by his best friend.

#412

⇓

Dude, did you hear what happened to your girlfriend?

#413

⇓

No, what about her?

#414

⇓

Dude, she got caught cheating on her essay.

#415

⇓

Just then, Stan noticed a commotion down the hallway.

#416

⇓

This student is going to jail for cheating.

#417

⇓

Drugs are bad, m'kay?

#418

⇓

Hold it right there!

#419

⇓

Look, everyone, we can't blame people who are using ChatGPT.

#420

⇓

It's not their fault.

#421

⇓

Well, whose fault is it?

#422

⇓

I'll tell you who.

#423

⇓

It's the giant tech companies who took open AI,

#424

⇓

packaged it, monetized it, and pushed it out to all of us

#425

⇓

as fast as they could in order to get ahead.

#426

⇓

Open AI is so powerful that it has to be something

#427

⇓

that everyone can use, control, and contribute to.

#428

⇓

Or else AI will be controlled by corporations

#429

⇓

who just want an unfair advantage like Cartman does.

#430

⇓

Hey! Screw you, you dumb Jew!

#431

⇓

We don't want big corporations

#432

⇓

deciding what's ethical and acceptable for AI.

#433

⇓

We were all taken advantage of,

#434

⇓

and that's why my girlfriend would totally understand

#435

⇓

that I used ChatGPT to respond to her texts.

#436

⇓

That's right!

#437

⇓

Well, I guess we can let you go now, ma'am.

#438

⇓

I will find these tech companies who are trying to use open AI

#439

⇓

for their own gains, and I will stop them!

#440

⇓

M'kay, kids, I think we can all go home, m'kay?

#441

⇓

Everyone was happy,

#442

⇓

and Stan's girlfriend completely forgave him.

#443

⇓

Thanks for saving me, Stan.

#444

⇓

You're welcome, sweetheart.

#445

⇓

Class dismissed!

#446

⇓

Yay!

#447

⇓

Boy, I'm sure glad that's over with.

#448

⇓

Yeah, but...

#449

⇓

I'm still really not sure what just happened.

#450

⇓

Well, now at least we know that sometimes

#451

⇓

a good ol' thumbs up from a human

#452

⇓

is better than a machine-generated lie.

#453

⇓

Yeah. Yeah, you're right, Stan.

#454

⇓

I love you.

#455

⇓

Dude, how did you pull all that off?

#456

⇓

ChatGPT, dude.

#457

⇓