Home » It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia » S16E07 — The Gang Goes Bowling

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Season 16, Episode 7 — The Gang Goes Bowling

I'm-a order some chili cheese fries.

#1

⇓

- Oh, yeah? Get me some. - Anybody else want an order?

#2

⇓

A delivery of chili cheese fries?

#3

⇓

They'll be mush by the time they get here. No way.

#4

⇓

- Aah! Shit.

#5

⇓

What are you doing, man? You can't hit it that hard.

#6

⇓

You got to use more finesse.

#7

⇓

Well, finesse isn't really my style, Charlie.

#8

⇓

I like to dominate the table into submission.

#9

⇓

Dennis, I got to head out. Tip me out.

#10

⇓

What tips, Dee? What are you talking about?

#12

⇓

Hey, any of you guys tip Dee today?

#13

⇓

- For what? - Hell no.

#14

⇓

Just give me 40 bucks from the register.

#16

⇓

What do you need money for?

#17

⇓

I'm going out. I just need a little cash.

#18

⇓

Where you going?

#19

⇓

I'm going to a fancy place with some fancy new friends of mine.

#20

⇓

- What friends? - What is happening?

#21

⇓

Why is everyone asking me questions?

#22

⇓

Well, it's 'cause you're sneaking around trying

#23

⇓

to steal money that you haven't earned

#24

⇓

and looking like Carmen Sandiego.

#25

⇓

I mean, what-what are we supposed to think?

#26

⇓

- W-What are you hiding, Dee? - What?

#27

⇓

- Let me see what's under that coat. - No.

#28

⇓

- I want to see what's under it. - No.

#29

⇓

- Show me. - She's hiding something, Dennis.

#30

⇓

You want me to hold her down and rip it off her?

#31

⇓

- Okay, okay... - Stop. Stop it. Don't touch me.

#33

⇓

Don't touch me. Okay?

#34

⇓

I decided that I want to take off the coat,

#35

⇓

'cause it's hot in here.

#36

⇓

Bowling? That's the fancy outing you were, uh, hiding from us?

#37

⇓

Dee, why were you hiding that from us?

#38

⇓

Because it's my thing, okay? It's not your thing,

#39

⇓

and I don't want you guys getting involved.

#40

⇓

- As if.

#41

⇓

- As if, Dee. - As if.

#42

⇓

- As if. - As if, Dee. As if.

#43

⇓

Yeah, okay. All right.

#44

⇓

Well, I'm gonna head out. You guys enjoy sitting around

#45

⇓

with your ding-dongs in your hand doing nothing all night.

#46

⇓

Ugh.

#47

⇓

- Ding-dongs in our hand-- What is she talking--

#48

⇓

- What a bitch. God. - Yeah.

#49

⇓

My ding-dong wasn't even in my hand. I mean, what do you...

#50

⇓

- Mine was. - Yeah, so was mine.

#51

⇓

Yeah, I was scratching mine when she said that.

#52

⇓

I-I had my hands fully down my pants,

#53

⇓

if I'm being honest.

#54

⇓

I had to push it to the left.

#55

⇓

- They get itchy in there. - That's a, such a coincidence.

#56

⇓

- That is a lucky guess. - That's a crazy-- yeah.

#57

⇓

- It was a lucky guess. - It was a lucky guess.

#58

⇓

But that's not the point. Look-look, the point is...

#59

⇓

...we have a lot better things to do

#60

⇓

than just go bowling.

#61

⇓

Oh, hello, ladies. You ready to roll?

#62

⇓

Why is everybody sitting on their butts?

#63

⇓

We've been waiting here for 20 minutes.

#64

⇓

Okay, well, listen, things are just gonna be

#65

⇓

a little different if you want me on your team.

#66

⇓

I show up when I want.

#67

⇓

Well, we don't want you on our team.

#68

⇓

It's just that our fourth didn't show up

#69

⇓

and literally no one else

#70

⇓

was free on a Friday night.

#71

⇓

- So you want me to be here. - Not really.

#72

⇓

Awesome. Good.

#73

⇓

Do you have the $35 team fee?

#74

⇓

- Ooh, I do not, but I have... - Okay.

#75

⇓

...something much more valuable:

#76

⇓

my expertise.

#77

⇓

So listen to me and you'll be in business.

#78

⇓

Anyone want to snort Jell-O shots?

#79

⇓

You're on the team?

#81

⇓

Yeah, I love bowling.

#82

⇓

The whole scene is so hot.

#83

⇓

I sucked off a rando in the parking lot.

#84

⇓

Ugh, my mouth hurts.

#85

⇓

Gross. Waitress, you're responsible for this?

#86

⇓

I'm not responsible for this, but this is my team, okay?

#87

⇓

So you can't just come in here and take over,

#88

⇓

come in late, not have your money, okay?

#89

⇓

I signed us up, I booked the lane, I made us shirts.

#90

⇓

I even found us an appliance company to sponsor us.

#91

⇓

- Frige-it. -"Frige-it Bitches"?

#92

⇓

- I'm not wearing this. - No, it's so funny.

#94

⇓

- It's not funny. - We've been laughing all night.

#95

⇓

- That doesn't surprise me. Now listen up. - Okay...

#96

⇓

- We're not here to laugh or be funny. - No, thank you.

#97

⇓

- We're here to win. - Oh, God.

#98

⇓

Which you can do if you listen to me.

#99

⇓

Or perhaps I should let my balls do the talking.

#100

⇓

- Please do. - Yeah.

#101

⇓

- Hot shit, Dee.

#102

⇓

- Oh, God. - What?

#104

⇓

Pretty nice roll, Deandra.

#105

⇓

Too bad it'll be your last.

#106

⇓

Can you please just leave and let me have one thing to myself?

#107

⇓

Nah.

#108

⇓

So these, uh, "frigid bitches,"

#109

⇓

these are your new "fancy friends"?

#110

⇓

What is this, some kind of women's league?

#111

⇓

It's a coed tournament.

#112

⇓

So you'll be competing against men?

#113

⇓

Vaginas and penises together again.

#114

⇓

I'll tell you what, why don't we join this league

#115

⇓

and have ourselves a little competition?

#116

⇓

Or are you too scared that you'll lose to us?

#117

⇓

He did one, so I thought we were doing... Okay.

#118

⇓

Shit.

#119

⇓

Anyone got a straw?

#120

⇓

- I didn't know. - Okay. - It's fine. All right.

#121

⇓

- Hey! - Hey, guys? - Let's have it.

#122

⇓

- Are you kidding me? - Please tell me

#124

⇓

you guys don't own this bowling alley.

#125

⇓

We got out of the video rental business

#126

⇓

just after the bubble burst.

#127

⇓

Bowling's always been in our blood.

#128

⇓

Ryan's got the forearms

#129

⇓

of an elephant wrangler.

#130

⇓

He could have been pro.

#131

⇓

I could have been.

#132

⇓

If not for my tragic accident.

#133

⇓

The story is too horrible for words, so don't ask me...

#134

⇓

- We-we... - We're not gonna ask. We don't really care

#135

⇓

- about that, yeah. - You can keep that to yourself.

#136

⇓

I'd tell you, but you wouldn't be able to handle it.

#137

⇓

- You clearly want to tell us, but we're not here for it. - We don't want to hear it.

#138

⇓

Listen, I'm moving past this. Can we sign up for the league?

#139

⇓

- Impossible. - Why, is it too late to sign up?

#140

⇓

No, you just couldn't afford it.

#141

⇓

- How much is it? -$35.

#142

⇓

- We got that. - Well, we got that, yeah. That's fine.

#143

⇓

Each.

#144

⇓

- Uh, do you mind covering us? - That's still...

#145

⇓

W-We're good, we're good, yeah.

#146

⇓

Hey, listen, can we play the Frigid Bitches first?

#147

⇓

Sure, whatever. I don't give a shit.

#148

⇓

You guys got chili cheese fries here?

#149

⇓

Franklin, we do have chili

#150

⇓

and we do have cheese and we do have fries,

#151

⇓

but combining them is strictly prohibited.

#152

⇓

- Why? - The story is too terrible to tell.

#153

⇓

- Oh, for Christ's sake. Nobody cares. - Oh, Christ's sake.

#154

⇓

- Sign us up for the league. - We won't combine the fries.

#155

⇓

Make sure we're playing the Frigid Bitches.

#156

⇓

Yeah, give us some shoes. W-What size shoe...

#157

⇓

- All right, how you doing? - We'll get the shoes.

#158

⇓

Three, two, one and smile.

#159

⇓

- Great.

#160

⇓

- Okay. - Let me check that picture.

#161

⇓

- How's my ass look? - Okay.

#162

⇓

- That looks pretty good.

#163

⇓

Oh, it looks huge. Sick.

#164

⇓

Can we take another? I wasn't sufficiently in character.

#165

⇓

- In character? - Yes, character.

#166

⇓

I'm researching a character I'm playing

#167

⇓

named Donna Brunswick of the Brunswick Bowling Dynasty.

#168

⇓

Oh, goddamn. You guys are not taking this seriously.

#169

⇓

Okay? Let's cut the BS.

#170

⇓

As your leader, I demand we cut the BS.

#171

⇓

Now let's talk order.

#172

⇓

I'm thinking Snail, Artemis,

#173

⇓

that you're not the leader and you can't be the leader

#175

⇓

'cause you don't even know everyone's names.

#176

⇓

Mm, can you switch mine to "Donna"?

#177

⇓

the Frigid Bitches are going up against the Hanging Monster Dong

#179

⇓

Lucky Strike Chili Cheese Fryers.

#180

⇓

Is that your name? That's really stupid.

#181

⇓

- It's too many ideas, man. - I told you it was stupid.

#182

⇓

I-I knew they were gonna make fun of us

#183

⇓

- and they did make fun of us. - Yeah, 'cause it's stupid.

#184

⇓

You know what? Uh, but it doesn't matter,

#185

⇓

'cause you guys are dead meat.

#186

⇓

Hey, did Dee happen to tell you the history

#187

⇓

of her experience with bowling?

#188

⇓

- You tell them, you tell them. - Tell them, tell them. - I-I was about to.

#190

⇓

- I don't know. - Oh, you were? - I was about to. Yes.

#191

⇓

- Are we doing laughs? - Yeah, uh, no. I'll just tell it.

#193

⇓

- He's gonna tell you. - Okay, well, when she was a kid,

#194

⇓

she was, well, she was pretty decent.

#195

⇓

And I got to say, she worked really, really hard at it.

#196

⇓

So, she eventually became the captain of the girls' team.

#197

⇓

Can you believe that?

#198

⇓

Now, I'm no fan of women's sports.

#199

⇓

- Who is? - Yeah, they're not very popular. - Nobody is.

#200

⇓

Nobody watches-- Especially women.

#201

⇓

Women don't even like women's sports.

#202

⇓

So I wouldn't have it.

#203

⇓

And to prove that Dee's female mind

#204

⇓

was mentally weak,

#205

⇓

I started to go watch her,

#206

⇓

and I would say, "gutter ball"

#207

⇓

right before she rolled it, and wouldn't you know it,

#208

⇓

every time I said it,

#209

⇓

she'd roll a gutter ball.

#210

⇓

Since then,

#211

⇓

if I even so much as look at Dee when she bowls,

#212

⇓

she can't knock down a single pin.

#213

⇓

Not even one.

#214

⇓

Well, that's a bit of an exaggeration.

#215

⇓

Anyway, good luck out there.

#216

⇓

- Gentlemen.

#218

⇓

- That was so good. - That was really good.

#219

⇓

That was really good, Dennis.

#220

⇓

All right, I'm looking at their lineup and I'm wondering

#221

⇓

who should lead us off against Snail.

#222

⇓

I'll start. It'll be good

#223

⇓

to show our power and dominance, you know,

#224

⇓

- for intimidation. - Uh, Frank?

#225

⇓

You should go against Artemis. She's next.

#226

⇓

Okay? And-and you should go up after that, 'cause it's

#227

⇓

The Waitress, and you're gonna irritate the shit

#228

⇓

- out of her and that-that's a good thing, okay? - Yeah.

#229

⇓

Oh, shit.

#230

⇓

Some kid's having, like, a birthday party in the arcade

#232

⇓

- or something. - Okay. So what?

#233

⇓

- It looks fun. - Charlie, do not be that guy

#234

⇓

that everyone's looking for when it's their turn.

#235

⇓

- Oh, yeah. Yeah. - That shit drives me crazy.

#236

⇓

- Please don't be that guy. - Yeah. Yeah.

#237

⇓

Okay, I'll go last against Dee because it's gonna be

#238

⇓

- a lot of fun getting in her head, so...

#239

⇓

It's gonna really mess her up. It's gonna be awesome.

#240

⇓

All right. Hands in, boys. Say it on three.

#241

⇓

- Chili Cheese Fryers!

#243

⇓

- Cheese fries. Yeah. - Oh, now I should go...

#244

⇓

- Let's do it, bud.

#245

⇓

Let's go, man.

#246

⇓

Stride, stride, stride, execute.

#247

⇓

- Okay, not bad, not bad, Mac. - Not bad.

#248

⇓

Not bad, dude.

#249

⇓

Come on, Snail.

#250

⇓

What the...

#251

⇓

What? What?

#252

⇓

Okay,

#253

⇓

why are you so happy right now?

#254

⇓

Gail. What the hell was that?

#255

⇓

- Ooh, my cooter's on fire for Mac. - Ew.

#256

⇓

I want to have his baby.

#257

⇓

Your cooter is most likely on fire from a yeast infection.

#258

⇓

Go in the bathroom, rinse it out and be better next time.

#259

⇓

Dennis, cover me. Cover me.

#260

⇓

Ryan's eyeballing me and I'm trying to mix these.

#261

⇓

- I can't do that right now. - What? Just go, go...

#262

⇓

- No, I got... - Go stand over here.

#263

⇓

I got Liam over here eyeballing me.

#264

⇓

I mean, I...

#265

⇓

I think he is. Little hard to tell with the eyepatch.

#266

⇓

Ah. Anyway, it's your, it's your roll, man.

#267

⇓

- Go, go, go. Go, yeah. - Oh. I'm up?

#268

⇓

- Yes, you're up. - Up.

#269

⇓

- Artemis. - Frank.

#270

⇓

How about we, uh, test out the back seat

#271

⇓

of my LeBaron after the roll?

#272

⇓

Everybody stop trying to have sex with each other.

#273

⇓

Hey, you know, another reason why

#274

⇓

men and women can't compete, Dee.

#275

⇓

It's too sexually charged.

#276

⇓

Come on.

#277

⇓

- All right. - Donna Brunswick...

#278

⇓

Strike.

#279

⇓

- Oh! - Hey!

#280

⇓

Nice.

#281

⇓

- Artemis, you can bowl? - No.

#282

⇓

My character can. Me, I can't bowl for shit.

#283

⇓

Oh.

#284

⇓

Oh, my God.

#285

⇓

It's not gonna make it.

#286

⇓

Strike.

#287

⇓

- Oh, ho. - Oh.

#288

⇓

All right, Frank.

#289

⇓

Good job, Frank.

#290

⇓

No, come on, that doesn't count.

#292

⇓

Uh, no, the computer counted it, so it counts.

#293

⇓

- That counts. - Hey, Artemis, let's mush.

#294

⇓

What? No. No. You're not gonna miss your turn, okay?

#295

⇓

If you must mush, mush later.

#296

⇓

A quickie.

#297

⇓

- Quickie it is. - What?

#298

⇓

My character is also a giant whore, which is what

#299

⇓

attracted me to the role in the first place, so...

#300

⇓

Well, mush fast!

#302

⇓

- Come on. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

#303

⇓

I'm going, I'm going. Oh!

#304

⇓

Hey, Tyrone, do not take my spot!

#305

⇓

Do not take my spot at the air hockey table.

#306

⇓

- Charlie, shut up. - You should see the party they got going there.

#307

⇓

- It's great. They got one of those... - I don't care.

#308

⇓

...punching machines that rates how, like,

#309

⇓

- how much power you have in your punch. - I don't care.

#310

⇓

- Shut up, I'm trying to focus. - It's totally crazy.

#311

⇓

By the way, your hair looks great.

#312

⇓

Charlie, shut up, I'm trying to focus.

#313

⇓

- Did you, like, change your hair or something? - Oh, my God.

#314

⇓

Elbow in, slight bend in the knee,

#315

⇓

- and... - What the...

#316

⇓

- Oh...

#317

⇓

- God! - Tyrone!

#318

⇓

All right. I'm coming!

#319

⇓

- Charlie, Charlie, where you going? - Where you going?

#320

⇓

- Put the cake down... - I'll be back.

#321

⇓

- Dee, you want to go first? - Don't... Stop it.

#322

⇓

- I know what you're doing. - I'm not gonna say anything.

#323

⇓

I swear to God. Please, I insist.

#324

⇓

I'm not.

#325

⇓

- Fine. - All right. Come on, Dee.

#326

⇓

Gutter ball.

#327

⇓

You-you dick.

#328

⇓

- Sorry. I'm sorry. - That's not funny.

#329

⇓

I couldn't resist. It's... Sorry.

#330

⇓

Strike.

#331

⇓

Don't say it again.

#332

⇓

- Okay? Just leave me alone. - I'm not. I just... I'm not.

#333

⇓

Gutter ball.

#334

⇓

You goddamned son of a bitch!

#335

⇓

How are you gonna talk to me about form

#336

⇓

- after you bowl like that? - Get off my back, you frigid bitch.

#337

⇓

I knew inviting you was a bad idea.

#338

⇓

Well, then, don't invite me. Then don't invite me next time.

#339

⇓

- I didn't invite...

#340

⇓

Oh, isn't this fun?

#341

⇓

Yeah. Yet another reason why women can't compete with men.

#342

⇓

Besides your physical limitations,

#343

⇓

if given the opportunity to either work together

#344

⇓

as a team or tear each other apart,

#345

⇓

you will always choose the latter.

#346

⇓

Because women are

#347

⇓

devious a-and destructive

#348

⇓

and will always default to using their insidious venom

#349

⇓

on the most sought-after victim of all...

#350

⇓

...each other.

#351

⇓

Okay, Dennis is right. Just hear me out.

#352

⇓

If we want to win, we can't compete like men,

#353

⇓

but what we can do is use those skills

#354

⇓

of mental manipulation against them.

#355

⇓

Do you want to know why?

#356

⇓

Why?

#357

⇓

Because... they're stupid.

#358

⇓

Hey, Mac, how come you throw the ball so straight?

#359

⇓

I throw the ball straight because, as a man,

#360

⇓

dominance is my sporting style.

#361

⇓

Uh, I heard it's 'cause you have no finesse.

#362

⇓

- You don't know how to spin the ball. - What?

#363

⇓

- Yeah. - I have finesse. I could spin the ball.

#364

⇓

- You want to see me? - Yeah.

#365

⇓

- Yeah... - Hey, uh, Mac? Mac?

#366

⇓

Can I talk to you for a second?

#367

⇓

Yeah.

#368

⇓

Do not try and spin the ball.

#369

⇓

She said that I can't spin, and I can spin.

#370

⇓

- You-- Do not try it. - But Dennis, she said I have no finesse,

#371

⇓

- and you know that I have finesse. - Don't-don't do it.

#372

⇓

- Don't do it. Just play your game. - Can I just spin one?

#373

⇓

- I don't care... - Let me spin one.

#374

⇓

You don't need to spin it.

#375

⇓

You just play your game and we're gonna win.

#376

⇓

Okay? Do not spin it.

#377

⇓

Do not do it.

#378

⇓

Okay, fine.

#379

⇓

I won't, I won't spin it.

#380

⇓

I won't.

#381

⇓

Stride, stride, stride, spin!

#382

⇓

Oh, goddamn it!

#383

⇓

Wait, I'm coming, I'm coming.

#386

⇓

Hey, Tyrone, double or nothing!

#387

⇓

'Cause there's no way you're beating me

#388

⇓

two out of three, dude!

#389

⇓

- Hey, Charlie? Excuse me.

#390

⇓

Can I, can I ask your advice on something?

#391

⇓

- Yeah. - Well, you're just such a good natural bowler...

#392

⇓

- Yeah. - ...and I'm having a hard time, so I was wondering,

#393

⇓

where are you putting your elbow

#394

⇓

- when you're rolling? - My elbow?

#395

⇓

Yeah, before you throw the ball, where is your elbow going?

#396

⇓

You-you want me to show you where my elbow goes?

#397

⇓

- Yeah. - Oh, I'm...

#398

⇓

- My-my elbow's like... - Uh-huh.

#399

⇓

That looks good.

#400

⇓

Oh.

#401

⇓

Gutter ball.

#402

⇓

Uh...

#403

⇓

Holy shit. It's working.

#404

⇓

- There we go. - Okay.

#405

⇓

Okay. It's okay.

#406

⇓

Damn it!

#407

⇓

- Just walk. - What are you doing?

#408

⇓

Stride, stride, stride, spin! Come on!

#409

⇓

- Gutter ball. - S-Stop it.

#410

⇓

Gutter ball.

#411

⇓

- Gutter ball.

#412

⇓

- Gutter ball.

#414

⇓

- Gutter ball.

#415

⇓

You want one?

#416

⇓

Wh-- Hey!

#417

⇓

- What happened?

#418

⇓

What the hell happened?

#419

⇓

In the third act of my play, Donna rolls a gutter ball

#420

⇓

in the big match against her rival high school.

#421

⇓

- Are you serious? - Oh, my God.

#422

⇓

Can you knock it off with the play, please?

#423

⇓

Ah, well, well, you done good, ladies.

#424

⇓

Your little mind games-- they got you pretty far,

#425

⇓

but unfortunately...

#426

⇓

...still 11 points shy in the final frame.

#427

⇓

Now, technically, I could pick up this spare

#428

⇓

and push the lead even further, and I...

#429

⇓

think we all know Dee's about to roll two gutter balls.

#430

⇓

So I'll tell you what. Dee, if you would like,

#431

⇓

uh, you could just quit now

#432

⇓

and you could all admit that you're inferior

#433

⇓

in every single way,

#434

⇓

and we could just call it a night.

#435

⇓

Okay, you know what, dick?

#436

⇓

I don't like your sister. She's a terrible person.

#437

⇓

- She's a bitch and she's ugly

#438

⇓

and I didn't want her on the team.

#439

⇓

And she's gross.

#440

⇓

Sure, and she's gross.

#441

⇓

But you know what? You're even worse.

#442

⇓

And I am not gonna sit here

#443

⇓

and let you just shit on her all night long.

#444

⇓

You think you're physically superior?

#445

⇓

- Yeah. - Then I challenge you to a test of strength.

#446

⇓

This isn't fair.

#448

⇓

Oh. Is it not fair?

#449

⇓

Okay, well, if you're scared, we don't have to do it.

#450

⇓

Okay, well, listen, if you insist, that's fine.

#451

⇓

- I do. Okay. - Let's do it. Yeah.

#452

⇓

Ladies first.

#453

⇓

- All right, let's do it. - Oh, thank you.

#454

⇓

Go, Waitress, go.

#455

⇓

- Let's go. - Give it all you got.

#456

⇓

- Oh!

#457

⇓

Shit.

#458

⇓

- Didn't know you could kick it. - Oh, yeah, you could kick it.

#459

⇓

- And that's fine. Okay. - Yeah, yeah, okay. Do it.

#460

⇓

Show them what you got, Dennis. Come on.

#461

⇓

Let's go, buddy.

#462

⇓

I summon the very fact that I am a man!

#463

⇓

- Aah! Aah...

#464

⇓

I have defeated you.

#465

⇓

And of course I have.

#466

⇓

I've been blessed with the genetic gifts to do so.

#467

⇓

I've broken every single bone in my hand.

#468

⇓

I cannot bowl.

#469

⇓

- What? - Really? - L-Listen to me.

#470

⇓

There's nothing solid left in there.

#471

⇓

It's just bloody soup and bone broth.

#472

⇓

All right? Now, I need to scream.

#473

⇓

And I need you to find me somewhere to scream

#474

⇓

so I don't have to do it here.

#475

⇓

No, wait a minute.

#476

⇓

I'm going to scream here, and now,

#477

⇓

'cause I can't hold it in, so here we go.

#478

⇓

♪ Oh, yes... ♪

#479

⇓

Ryan, I need you to bowl for me.

#480

⇓

I'll never bowl again.

#481

⇓

- Come on, man. - Why not? What's the big deal?

#482

⇓

The story's too horrible to tell.

#483

⇓

- Oh, with this stuff. - For fuck's sake, just spit it out.

#484

⇓

Yeah, you clearly want to tell it, man.

#485

⇓

Fine.

#486

⇓

- But brace yourself.

#487

⇓

There I was,

#488

⇓

practicing for the state semifinals.

#489

⇓

I was on my way to a perfect game.

#490

⇓

I was enjoying some chili cheese fries.

#491

⇓

They were delicious, and I offered some to Ryan.

#492

⇓

I accepted, but not realizing

#493

⇓

my other hand was in the ball return lane.

#494

⇓

I never should have allowed myself such indulgences,

#495

⇓

because little did I know,

#496

⇓

my ball was returning.

#497

⇓

It pinched it really bad.

#498

⇓

I had a nasty bruise for a week.

#499

⇓

- That's it? - That's why you won't bowl?

#500

⇓

- You pinched your finger? - You pinched your finger

#501

⇓

- and you won't bowl? - Big deal, man.

#502

⇓

I'll bowl for you... Dennis.

#503

⇓

- Okay, fine. - Okay. - Wait, what's happening?

#504

⇓

What-what are you saying? What?

#505

⇓

- Nothing. - What?

#507

⇓

- N-Nothing. - What's going on?

#508

⇓

Liam's gonna bowl for me

#509

⇓

because I hurt my hand a little bit.

#510

⇓

O-Ow!

#511

⇓

Ow, I just, I just twisted my ankle.

#512

⇓

- No. - Yeah, and I need Ryan,

#513

⇓

I need Ryan to bowl for me.

#514

⇓

and I need Ryan to bowl for me.

#516

⇓

- That... - That is bullshit.

#517

⇓

This is incredibly weird.

#518

⇓

Ryan!

#519

⇓

Brother! Brother, what have I done?

#520

⇓

No!

#521

⇓

What the...

#522

⇓

Well, well, well, Dee, it looks like

#523

⇓

you're gonna have to roll after all.

#524

⇓

Fine. No problem.

#525

⇓

Gonna make my team proud.

#526

⇓

Oh, well, maybe you will.

#527

⇓

Or maybe...

#528

⇓

you'll roll a gutter ball.

#529

⇓

One pin. That's all.

#530

⇓

You can do this.

#531

⇓

- Gutter ball. - No. No.

#532

⇓

Just don't think "gutter ball," that's all.

#533

⇓

Oh, hi, Dee.

#534

⇓

I'm in here, too.

#535

⇓

Gutter ball.

#536

⇓

- Gutter ball. Gutter ball. - Gutter ball. Gutter ball.

#537

⇓

You goddamned son of a--

#538

⇓

bitch!

#539

⇓

Gutter ball.

#540

⇓

- Oh. - No, no...

#541

⇓

- No, no, no... - No, no...

#542

⇓

No, no, no, no...

#543

⇓

I did it! In your faces.

#544

⇓

Ha... Uh... What's going on?

#545

⇓

- Where'd everybody go? - Frank's having a threesome

#546

⇓

in the bathroom with Gail and Artemis,

#547

⇓

and, um, yeah, I think the guys went to the Sixers game.

#548

⇓

What?

#549

⇓

Oh, goddamn it.

#550

⇓

Well, why aren't you celebrating?

#551

⇓

Um...

#552

⇓

yeah, honestly?

#553

⇓

I don't give a shit about women's sports.

#554

⇓

Well...

#555

⇓