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Home » It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia » S16E06 — Risk E. Rat's Pizza and Amusement Center

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Season 16, Episode 6 — Risk E. Rat's Pizza and Amusement Center

TMDB episode metadata

Show: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Episode title: Risk E. Rat's Pizza and Amusement Center

Air date: July 05, 2023

Director: Nina Pedrad

Top billed cast: Charlie Day, Glenn Howerton, Rob Mac, Kaitlin Olson, Danny DeVito

The gang goes to Risk E. Rat's, finding it updated with safety and overcautiousness. Dee takes Frank on a scavenger hunt to find risqué jokes hidden throughout the establishment. Mac plays Skee-Ball to win tickets for a prize.

Source: TMDB

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♪ Oh, yeah ♪

↓

[gang singing along] ♪ Do it, do it, do it ♪

along gang singing singing-along

↓

♪ Do whatever you want ♪

↓

♪ At Risk E. Rat's Pizza ♪

pizza rats rats-pizza risk

↓

♪ Do whatever you want ♪

↓

♪ Entertain, go crazy, have fun, go nuts ♪

crazy entertain fun nuts

↓

♪ At Risk E. Rat's Pizza ♪

pizza rats rats-pizza risk

↓

♪ Do whatever you want ♪

↓

♪ Do whatever you want. ♪

↓

[grunts] That hits.

grunts hits

↓

-I am so psyched that we're going back. -[grunts]

grunts psyched

↓

-Yeah, yes. -Yeah, yeah.

↓

You guys, I mean, arcade games, pizza, comedy.

arcade comedy games pizza

↓

-What more do you want in a place? -You can't beat it.

beat place

↓

The best part about Risk E. Rat's, though,

best best-part part rats risk

↓

is that they make kids feel like they're the ones in charge.

charge kids ones

↓

-Yeah... -Totally.

↓

Like, that's where I became a man

became

↓

and saw my first set of boobies, at Risk E.'s. [laughs]

boobies laughs risk

↓

-Really? -Uh-huh. -Wait, what?

↓

Wait a minute. Hold on. I don't know about this.

minute

↓

Oh, yeah, dude, Justine the Teen Dream.

dream justine teen

↓

She was one of the robots in the Animatronic No Rules Band.

band robots rules

↓

-You guys remember that? -Yeah, of course.

course remember

↓

Right, so if you got off the Train to Kid City

city train

↓

and you snuck backstage, you could see under her shirt

backstage shirt snuck

↓

-just before she came out to perform. -Ooh...

perform

↓

-[laughs] -Uh, yeah, I remember hearing about that,

hearing laughs remember

↓

but I thought that was just a legend.

legend

↓

-That's real, dude. -No, that was real, dude.

real

↓

-You saw them? -I saw 'em, I saw 'em.

↓

-Yeah. Yeah. -That was the fir-first set of boobs I ever saw

boobs

↓

-since my mom's, so... -Yeah. [groans]

groans moms

↓

Do they still have that room where they paddle you

paddle room

↓

-if you're out of line? -Oh, no, uh, in our day

line

↓

they called it the Time-Out Room.

called room

↓

And you would just go and sit there

↓

and fester in your candy-fueled rage for about 20 minutes.

candy fueled minutes rage

↓

-[chuckling] -Then you learned your lesson,

chuckling learned lesson

↓

and they'd send you back out to unleash it on the kids.

kids send theyd unleash

↓

Yeah, listen, at the end of the day

↓

it's all part of the fun.

fun part

↓

I know, but speaking of fun, let's keep the song...

fun song speaking

↓

-Yeah, yeah, turn the song back on. -Yeah, crank that shit.

crank song

↓

-Yeah, yeah, play it again. -♪ Cool ♪

cool

↓

-Here comes the... -♪ Oh, yeah ♪

comes

↓

♪ Do it, do it, do it, do whatever you want ♪

↓

♪ At Risk E. Rat's Pizza, do whatever you want. ♪

pizza rats rats-pizza risk

↓

♪ ♪

↓

They really spruced this place up, huh?

place

↓

-Looks good. -Yeah, yeah.

↓

But it still sounds the same, though, right?

sounds

↓

But, boy, that noise sure would send the parents running,

noise parents running send

↓

-wouldn't it? -[Dee] Yeah.

↓

-[laughs] -Oh, remember when the moms would go

laughs moms remember

↓

-in the padded bar? -Oh, yeah, they soundproofed it.

padded

↓

Yeah, they soundproofed it so you couldn't hear it.

↓

-[laughs] -Yeah. -Oh, they would get hammered.

hammered laughs

↓

[Charlie] What you got there, bozo?

bozo charlie

↓

Just need you to sign these waivers.

sign

↓

Eh, no waivers, no.

↓

I'm not really supposed to let you in

supposed

↓

unless you sign this.

sign

↓

Oh, yeah, well, listen.

↓

Well, I agree it's total bullshit

agree bullshit total

↓

that we would have to sign a waiver

sign

↓

and also that we could bum-rush you

rush

↓

and there's nothing you could do about it.

↓

But you know what? Listen, today

today

↓

we're just gonna have fun, we're not gonna do any of that.

fun

↓

We'll sign your goddamn waivers,

goddamn sign

↓

but I want you to know that, for the record,

record

↓

we're doing this under protest.

protest

↓

Sure, I don't care.

care

↓

-Okay. Cool, man. -Hey, here's a little something for you.

cool

↓

[quietly] That's not my name.

name quietly

↓

Yeah, I just went... [gibbers, laughs]

laughs

↓

There's a bottom section, too... okay.

bottom section

↓

-All right, man. -None of 'em are really...

↓

Okay.

↓

Mmm.

↓

What the hell are you doing?

↓

Drinking water.

drinking drinking-water water

↓

What does it look like I'm do...?

↓

Get the hell out of here!

↓

Frank, what...?

frank

↓

-I guess he's thirsty. -Yeah.

thirsty

↓

All right, well, we have a few hours before the show begins.

begins hours

↓

I was thinking I would go redeem my old tickets

redeem thinking tickets

↓

and then maybe play some Skee-Ball.

ball

↓

-Yeah, good call, man. Nice. Have fun, have fun. -Yeah?

fun

↓

-Get it, go ahead. Yo. -Hey, uh, Charlie, um,

ahead charlie go-ahead

↓

I can't get past

past

↓

-this whole Justine the Teen Dream thing. -Sure.

dream justine teen whole

↓

And this feeling that I just missed out on my childhood.

childhood feeling missed

↓

-Yeah, mm-hmm. -And I'm just wondering if

wondering

↓

-maybe you want to... -Yes, I do.

↓

-Yeah? -Yeah, let's go.

↓

Uh... Well, they're gonna go check out

check

↓

some animatronic titties, so...

titties

↓

Hey, you want to do the joke hunt?

hunt joke

↓

-Yeah! Did you have that when you were a kid? -Yeah.

↓

Where you search around for the little pieces of cheese

cheese pieces search

↓

and they have jokes attached?

attached jokes

↓

Yeah, and if you got 'em all...

↓

-Yeah. -...you'd get to meet Risk E. himself.

meet risk

↓

And he'd do his whole routine for you.

routine whole

↓

Where he would smack his kids in the head

head kids smack

↓

because they were pieces of shit

pieces

↓

and then he would bust his brother

brother bust

↓

because he was a lazy drunk.

drunk lazy

↓

That was so funny.

funny

↓

-[both laugh] -Oh, yeah. I mean, that, that's funny.

funny laugh

↓

They changed it a bit by-by the '80s.

changed

↓

-Oh. -Yeah, I think they...

↓

It was a little bit more highbrow and, like,

↓

um, uh, topical,

topical

↓

like, like, uh, like diverse ethnic stuff.

diverse ethnic stuff

↓

Oh, ethnic, yeah. Racist.

ethnic racist

↓

Mm, no, no. Not, not racist.

racist

↓

Thinks like, um, you know, like making fun of people

fun thinks

↓

for not belonging here.

↓

Right? Or like, like it's funny when people sound funny

funny sound

↓

because they're, they don't, they're not from...

↓

they're not from here.

↓

Yeah, because of their race.

race

↓

Hmm, I don't think that was it because it was like,

↓

it's like a fish out of water...

fish water

↓

-kind of... -Uh, okay.

↓

Satire? I don't know.

↓

I can't wait to see who the victims are

victims

↓

these days.

days

↓

-Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Totally. -Yeah. Let's go.

↓

-Let's-let's go find some cheese. -Let's... okay.

cheese

↓

Let's go. Let's go this way.

↓

-Yeah. -Come on.

↓

♪ ♪

↓

No more Game Boys, but they do have a PlayStation.

boys game game-boys

↓

That's an upgrade.

upgrade

↓

-Can I help you, sir? -Ah, yes, you can.

↓

I brought my tickets and I'd like to make a purchase.

brought purchase tickets

↓

Where are your guns?

guns

↓

Uh, excuse me?

excuse

↓

Uh, the gun section.

section

↓

I'm very specifically looking for Risk E.'s rifle.

looking rifle risk specifically

↓

It had a real heavy feel to it,

heavy real

↓

it was very realistic, had a good smoky bang.

bang realistic smoky

↓

I used to put pebbles in there

used

↓

and I could fire them, like, right at Charlie's eye.

charlies fire

↓

It was awesome.

awesome

↓

Oh, uh, I don't think we have anything like that.

↓

We have an orange space laser.

laser orange space

↓

What t he hell am I supposed to do with an orange space laser?

laser orange space supposed

↓

Have you ever seen anybody use a space laser in real life?

anybody laser life real real-life seen seen-anybody space

↓

How do I simulate

↓

real-world violence with something like that?

real real-world violence world

↓

Why would you want to simulate real-world violence?

real real-world violence world

↓

To get it out of my system, bozo.

bozo system

↓

All right, fine. Forget it.

forget

↓

Just get me one of those, um...

↓

switchblades that are combs.

↓

I don't know what that is.

↓

The switchblades that become combs

become

↓

that you can threaten your friends with,

friends threaten

↓

but then you don't know whether it's a blade or a comb.

blade comb whether

↓

You know what I'm talking about?

↓

Okay, how about some of that, um...

↓

can you get me some of that gum

↓

that I can put in my mouth and pretend like I got,

mouth pretend

↓

like, a big old fat lip and spit all over the place?

place spit

↓

You know what I'm talking about? The...

↓

I don't think we have those--

↓

What about the candy cigarettes? Give me candy cigarettes!

candy cigarettes

↓

Those were discontinued because cigarettes are illegal.

cigarettes illegal

↓

Okay, for Christ's sakes,

christs christs-sakes sakes

↓

can you get me like...

↓

the extra large Atomic FireBalls?

atomic extra

↓

I believe they were considered a choking hazard.

believe choking considered

↓

Oh, my God, a-a box of Nerds, nerd.

nerd nerds

↓

Now, Nerds.

nerds

↓

Oh, you got those.

↓

What the...?

↓

What is, what is this? Where's the mouse hall?

hall mouse

↓

[Dennis] Hold on a second.

dennis second

↓

What, what? So you're telling me they shut down the-the-the

telling

↓

Ride to Kid City for a superstore?

city ride

↓

I mean, there's clearly no mouse hall.

hall mouse

↓

There's no way to access this thing.

access

↓

-Dude, what are they doing, man? -I don't know...

↓

Also, okay, what's up with the helmet, right?

helmet

↓

-[stammers] -Risk E. does not wear a helmet, remember?

helmet remember risk stammers wear

↓

If he would fall and hit his head, he would say...

fall head

↓

"That's what the bone's for."

bones

↓

"That's what the bone was for," right?

bone

↓

And he'd come up, he'd crack you on the back of the head.

crack head

↓

He'd smack you in the back of the head.

head smack

↓

-"That's what the bone is for!" -"Bone is for!"

bone

↓

-[goofy laugh] -I mean, that was, like...

goofy laugh

↓

-part of the fun of it. -It's unbelievable, man.

fun part unbelievable

↓

-Things change, I-I get that. -Okay, fine.

change

↓

-Things change, right? -Yeah.

change

↓

I mean, look, I don't want to be that old guy

↓

who's, like, complaining about the way things used to be,

complaining used

↓

but, you know, I, uh...

↓

-Want to see boobs. -I just do.

boobs

↓

You didn't get to see 'em,

↓

and it was a big part of the experience.

experience part

↓

They knew that you needed that.

needed

↓

Risk E. knew that you needed that.

needed risk

↓

They knew you were curious. It wasn't a big deal.

curious deal

↓

-Yeah. -The boys, they need something to as... you know.

boys

↓

Yeah, yeah. It's great for the boys.

boys

↓

And it's also good for the girls because then they know

girls

↓

what they're supposed to look like.

supposed

↓

It's aspirational. I mean, this,

↓

I don't think this is the work of Risk E.

risk

↓

You know what I mean? Like...

↓

I feel like Risk E.'s walled off in there,

risk

↓

and-and I think

↓

Risk E. would want us to take a risk right now.

risk

↓

He would want us to do it.

↓

Do it, whatever we want. Watch my back.

watch

↓

-No one looking? -Uh-huh.

looking

↓

-[thuds] -Oh.

thuds

↓

-Okay. -All right.

↓

[clattering]

clattering

↓

Good, I think you... made some headway, though.

headway

↓

These balls have no weight to 'em.

balls weight

↓

Back in my day, you could crush a man's skull with one of these.

crush mans skull

↓

[machine chimes]

chimes machine

↓

Oh, hey, you're pretty good.

↓

Thanks.

thanks

↓

I'm going for 10,000 tickets.

tickets

↓

Oh, yeah? Dude, I got like 7,000.

↓

What? How do you have so many?

↓

I was really good back in the day.

↓

Better than you.

↓

Oh, well, I only have 1,500.

↓

Oh, you know what we should do? We should pool our tickets,

pool tickets

↓

and that way we can get, like, the biggest prize they have.

biggest prize

↓

Uh, I don't think you're allowed to do that.

allowed

↓

Yeah, you can. This is America.

america

↓

You can do whatever the fuck you want.

fuck

↓

You just cursed.

cursed

↓

So what? We're in an arcade.

arcade

↓

And there's no adults around.

adults

↓

Hey, do you know how much candy

candy

↓

we can get with this many tickets?

tickets

↓

I'm not allowed to eat candy. I have to ask my parents.

allowed candy parents

↓

You don't have to ask your parents anything.

parents

↓

You can eat as much candy as you want.

candy

↓

You're at Risk E. Rat's. That's the whole point.

point rats risk whole whole-point

↓

You can do whatever you want.

↓

-I want my mom. -You're not getting your mom!

↓

Whoa! Everything okay over here?

whoa

↓

Looks like someone might need to take a breather.

breather might

↓

We don't need a breather.

breather

↓

All right? I'm just... [groans]

groans

↓

I'm navigating something with the kid.

↓

'Cause you're a jerk.

jerk

↓

You're a jerk, and now we're in trouble,

jerk trouble

↓

and now we have to go to the Time-Out Room.

room

↓

♪ ♪

↓

I tell you what, I don't care for these new scanners.

care

↓

You know, it was just so much cooler when they were like...

cooler

↓

-Yeah. -...little plastic pieces of cheese with the joke on 'em.

cheese joke pieces plastic

↓

You'd read the joke and toss it in the trash.

joke read toss trash

↓

You know what they, they used to do?

used

↓

They used to put 'em on the waitresses

used waitresses

↓

without them knowing it.

knowing

↓

-Really? -Yeah, that was the fun thing,

fun

↓

because then you could cop a feel

↓

and they couldn't say anything

↓

because if they did, they'd lose their jobs.

jobs lose theyd

↓

-[chuckles] Yeah. -That's terrible.

chuckles

↓

No, it was the '50s. It was fine.

↓

-Right. -Yo, folks. Got your mozzarella sticks.

folks sticks

↓

Oh, yeah. Thank you so much.

↓

Please be careful, they're hot.

careful

↓

-[Frank] Hmm. -Are they hot, dork?

dork frank

↓

Are you trying to tell me that

↓

these sticks of molten cheese that just came out of

cheese molten sticks

↓

the deep fryer, they're hot?

deep

↓

Well, yeah, I don't want you to get burned.

burned

↓

Thank you so much for helping me out.

helping

↓

What'd I've done if you weren't here?

whatd

↓

Bye. Beat it. Bye, Jesse.

beat jesse

↓

Sorry.

↓

-I mean... -[Frank] I'm talking about it.

frank

↓

-Yeah. -There's one.

↓

-Ooh! -I found it. Look, over there.

found

↓

-Where? -Right over there.

↓

-Oh, my God. Ooh. [laughs] -Un-Un-Under the table.

laughs table

↓

He wasn't joking.

joking

↓

-[scanner beeps] -[chuckles] Hey, guys.

beeps chuckles scanner

↓

-You having a good time? -Hey there, Dingbat Duck.

duck having

↓

-Yes, we are. -Uh, actually, it's Dapper Duck now.

duck

↓

How do you like the delectable duds?

duds

↓

It's not Dapper Duck. You're-you're Dingbat Duck.

duck

↓

Oh, hey, and where's your stutter? That was your...

stutter

↓

-the funny thing you did. -Yeah, yeah, where-where's the...?

funny

↓

Oh, I don't stutter. I have delightful diction.

delightful stutter

↓

No, you don't. No, you d...

↓

you d-d-d-d-d-do-do st-st-st-st-stutter.

stutter

↓

And that's the only thing that's funny about you.

funny

↓

-[laughing] That was good. -He's laughing.

laughing

↓

-[Frank] Yeah. -[Dee] See?

frank

↓

You were, you were the retard.

retard

↓

Whoa, whoa. [chuckles]

chuckles whoa whoa-whoa

↓

-What? -Don't say... come on, don't say that.

↓

Well, he's a duck.

duck

↓

I wouldn't say that about a human.

human

↓

But you're telling me I can't say a duck is retarded?

duck retarded telling

↓

-Yes. -No? What do you mean?

↓

Suppose he walked up here, and his feet were on backwards

backwards feet suppose walked

↓

and his beak was on the inside of his head,

beak head

↓

what, then I could call him retarded?

retarded

↓

[Dee] Well, no. Then you're dealing with

dealing

↓

a mutant duck, and that's not funny.

duck funny mutant

↓

But his whole shtick was that he would drool and slobber

drool whole

↓

-and-and, you know, he was like... -Yeah. Yeah.

↓

He could b-b-b-b-b-b-barely get the w-w-w-w-w-w-w-w-words out.

barely words

↓

-His mouth was retarded. -Stop saying "retarded."

mouth retarded

↓

[Charlie] How dare you?

charlie dare

↓

'Cause I didn't see anything backstage and... Oh, shit.

backstage

↓

Okay. Look, look, look at, look at this.

↓

Oh, man, this is, this is sad.

↓

And they stuck 'em all in storage, dude.

storage stuck

↓

The whole band is here, dude.

band whole

↓

You got Spaz the drummer, Chef Greaseball Linguini.

chef drummer

↓

-Oh. -Dr. Slice

slice

↓

the Funky Funkosapien or whatever he was.

funky

↓

Was he supposed to be Black?

black supposed

↓

-Yeah. I, yeah, I-I think so. -Yeah.

↓

And you know what? Now that I think of it,

↓

it's good that they're updating that.

↓

I mean, you can't have a purple character

character purple

↓

-that does a Black voice. -Why not?

black black-voice voice

↓

Well, because... [sighs]

sighs

↓

If you're gonna put a Black person in the band,

band black person

↓

it's got to be representative of...

representative

↓

It was a white guy doing the voice.

voice white

↓

-That was the problem. -Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah.

problem

↓

-Yeah, yeah. -It was a white guy doing a Black voice...

black black-voice voice white

↓

-No, no, no, that's-- -...in a purple costume.

costume purple

↓

That's not a good look, you know what I mean?

↓

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No. For sure, for sure.

↓

Yeah, so...

↓

But they are purple.

purple

↓

Who? What?

↓

Monsters. You know, like...

monsters

↓

-Monsters are purple? -Yeah.

monsters purple

↓

Blue, green, purple, orange, and we can't just, like,

blue green orange purple

↓

not have purple monsters in bands anymore.

anymore bands monsters purple

↓

-All right, you know what? I... -Oh, but they should have

↓

-white voices. -Well, they should have monster voices.

monster voices white

↓

They should have monster voices

monster voices

↓

because we need monster representation.

monster representation

↓

So we can't just put them in boxes.

boxes

↓

This is all very complicated stuff, man.

complicated stuff

↓

-It is complicated, man. -It's tough to navigate it, man.

complicated tough

↓

I don't know what the answer is, so I'm gonna move past it.

answer past

↓

-I tell you what, I... -All right, as long as they can still have

↓

-groovy monsters, you know? -Yeah.

groovy monsters

↓

Look at all this stuff. Eh, tell you what,

stuff

↓

some of this stuff brings back a lot of memories.

brings memories stuff

↓

Yeah, yeah.

↓

Oh, no.

↓

-Aw... -Sweet Justine.

justine sweet

↓

What have they done to you?

↓

Oh, man.

↓

Bam! Look at those.

↓

-Hey, you found her torso. -[laughs]

found laughs torso

↓

Yeah.

↓

[both whooping]

whooping

↓

-[laughs] Hey-hey. -That looks crazy, man.

crazy laughs

↓

[Dennis] That is something else, isn't it? Mmm.

dennis

↓

[Charlie] Yeah, yeah.

charlie

↓

Now, are you telling me that

telling

↓

there is a lifelike set of animatronic breasts under there?

breasts

↓

-I am, sir. -Really?

↓

-Yeah. Very accurate design. -Huh.

accurate design

↓

-Uh, nipples. -Interesting.

interesting nipples

↓

-All the curves. -Fascinating.

curves fascinating

↓

-Yeah, wow, good. -Yeah.

↓

Yeah, okay. So I will take, uh...

↓

-Yeah. -...the shirt off.

shirt

↓

-Let's, uh, let's pop it off. -And, uh, I... hmm...

↓

Hmm, I'm sorry, is it wrong to do this?

↓

If I'm being honest, it feels wrong to me as well.

feels honest

↓

-[chuckles] Right, but why? Why would--? -I don't know.

chuckles

↓

-Is it 'cause she's underage? -No.

underage

↓

I mean, she's a robot, man, like...

robot

↓

-Right. Robot. -They're ageless.

robot

↓

Now, wait a second.

second

↓

We could just be two mature men with an interest in robotics.

interest mature

↓

This could be science is what you're saying.

science

↓

I think this is a scientific experiment,

experiment scientific

↓

and that's one way to look at it, and--

↓

This is for the good of... future robots, right?

future robots

↓

So, for the good of... science...

science

↓

-Yeah. -...I'm just gonna

↓

-go ahead and... -Yeah.

ahead go-ahead

↓

[Dennis] I'm gonna slide this down here.

dennis slide

↓

[Charlie] Just for scientific purposes we can... aah!

charlie purposes scientific

↓

[yells] Oh, God!

yells

↓

-[Charlie screams] -That is...

charlie charlie-screams screams

↓

-What?! -How did they...?

↓

These are not the boobs I saw, dude, these are not them.

boobs

↓

This is so disturbing.

disturbing

↓

They-they took her tits off. They literally sanded 'em off!

tits

↓

-They mutilated this poor woman. -That is disgusting.

disgusting poor poor-woman woman

↓

Goddamn libs.

goddamn

↓

-Unbelievable. -Oh, my God.

unbelievable

↓

And this could be the religious conservatives, too.

conservatives religious

↓

You know, y-you don't know.

↓

-That's true. -Which kind of--

↓

Lopping tits off feels like a, feels like a religious move.

feels religious tits

↓

-Yeah, that's some kind of like-- -I don't know anymore.

anymore

↓

-Everybody's crazy these days. -[groans]

crazy days everybodys groans

↓

This is nuts, man. I'll tell you what, though.

nuts

↓

This is a sad day for women's rights.

rights womens

↓

[sighs deeply]

deeply sighs

↓

[Charlie sighs]

charlie charlie-sighs sighs

↓

[mascot sighs]

mascot sighs

↓

Now, Mac, tell us how you're feeling right now.

feeling

↓

Well, I... feel angry.

angry

↓

Is there anything else?

↓

Yeah, I feel... misunderstood.

misunderstood

↓

Unheard.

↓

Thank you.

↓

Sam, how are you feeling?

feeling

↓

I feel stupid.

stupid

↓

You are stupid. It's 'cause you're stupid.

stupid

↓

-Shut up. -Now, Mac... -You shut up.

↓

-Mac. -He's getting sassy.

sassy

↓

-I was not being sassy. -You were being sassy.

sassy

↓

You... Okay, hey, guys.

↓

Honestly, you were both being a little sassy.

sassy

↓

But right now I just want to hear about Sam's emotions, okay?

emotions sams

↓

Fine.

↓

Thank you.

↓

There's that sass that I was talking about.

sass

↓

I feel like we're getting stuck on the sass of it.

sass stuck

↓

It's hard not to get stuck in the sass.

hard sass stuck

↓

-I understand. -I'm mired in the sass

sass

↓

because the kid is so sassy.

sassy

↓

Let's just let him talk, and I feel

↓

like it'll all sort itself out.

itll

↓

Fine.

↓

As I was saying, I feel stupid talking about my feelings.

feelings stupid

↓

Like, I don't want to be in the Feelings Center.

center feelings

↓

That's not the point of Risk E. Rat's.

point rats risk

↓

-[dog] Hmm. -We are on the same page there

page

↓

'cause, like, this isn't the point.

point

↓

I don't want to be in the Feelings Center either,

center feelings

↓

and, like, he's dead right about Risk E. Rat's.

dead rats risk

↓

That's the whole point of it.

point whole whole-point

↓

And...

↓

I feel I just want to go out there and have fun.

fun

↓

That's what I want to do, too.

↓

I just want to play and have fun, and--

fun

↓

-See? -Good, good.

↓

Hey, here's the question about that, you guys.

question

↓

Do we feel like we've earned that?

earned

↓

Yes.

↓

Okay, well, so do I.

↓

-Let's get out there and have some fun, shall we? -Wait, wait, wait, wait.

fun

↓

We've only been here for like five minutes.

five five-minutes minutes

↓

That's not a punishment. I-I don't feel punished.

punished punishment

↓

Where-Where's the shame I'm supposed to be feeling?

feeling shame supposed

↓

There's no shame in making a mistake, Mac.

mistake shame

↓

Yes, there is.

↓

How else would I know not to do it anymore?

anymore

↓

Hey, listen, man. I'm a licensed psychotherapist.

licensed

↓

You're a talking dog. I'm out of here.

↓

-[dog] Great. -I'm scared. -I'm sure you are, Sam.

scared

↓

I'm sure you are.

↓

'Cause you're a pussy.

pussy

↓

Now, look, look, man, that's...

↓

-that's not your fault. -Jesus Christ, man.

christ fault jesus jesus-christ

↓

It's not your fault. This dog, your parents,

fault parents

↓

the whole, the whole culture is grooming you to be a pussy.

culture grooming pussy whole

↓

You got no freedom,

freedom

↓

which means you got no balls.

balls

↓

And then, even when you actually do get caught

caught

↓

doing something bad, you're not held accountable.

accountable held

↓

And if you're not held accountable, you feel no guilt.

accountable guilt held

↓

If you feel no guilt, you feel no shame.

guilt shame

↓

If you got no shame...

shame

↓

you're never gonna hate yourself enough

hate

↓

to stop being bad and grow some balls.

balls grow

↓

You diddle this kid, you're definitely on camera.

camera diddle

↓

I don't know if you want to be alone with him.

alone

↓

♪ ♪

↓

All right, this is the last piece.

piece

↓

-[scanner beeps] -All right, what's it say?

beeps scanner

↓

"What does a nosy pepper do?"

nosy pepper

↓

-What? -"It gets jalapeño business."

business

↓

That's stupid. Let me see it.

stupid

↓

Oh, I get it! You know what it is?

↓

You got to do it with an accent.

accent

↓

Uh, it gets "all-up-in-yo" business.

business

↓

-Get it? -[laughs] Yeah, well, that's funny.

funny laughs

↓

-Yeah. -'Cause that's Black.

black

↓

-That's Black. -Well, n-not necessarily,

black necessarily

↓

but it is sassy.

sassy

↓

You just got to put some sass on there.

sass

↓

It also could be Mexican, I guess,

mexican

↓

'cause of the jalapeño, that's a Mexican pepper.

mexican pepper

↓

-Um, gets "hall-up-in-your" business, see? -Oh, yeah, that...

business hall

↓

I get it, but I got to know who it's about.

↓

I-I don't think it's about anybody.

anybody

↓

I think it's just a-a play on words.

words

↓

But I got to know who the victim is

victim

↓

in order for me to laugh at them.

laugh order

↓

Yeah, I'll tell you what, in this scenario it's whites

scenario whites

↓

because white people are the only people

white

↓

who don't have the accent to pull off the joke.

accent joke pull

↓

-Well, that's racist. -That is racist,

racist

↓

-and I don't appreciate it. -That's very racist.

appreciate racist

↓

I'll tell you that much right now.

↓

Is this the satire you're talking about?

↓

I don't know. If I'm being honest,

honest

↓

I don't 100% understand what satire means.

↓

-Let's go through the jokes again. -[mutters]

jokes mutters

↓

-Yeah, it's not good now, man, you know? -Yeah, it's the pits.

pits

↓

Really creepy, too.

creepy

↓

Like, who are the weirdos with the kids?

kids weirdos

↓

I think it's their parents.

parents

↓

-The parents should be in the bar. -Charlie, there is no bar.

charlie parents

↓

-What? Are you serious? They got rid of the bar? -There's no bar?

serious

↓

Oh, that's crazy.

crazy

↓

This was, like, one of the best bars in town, man.

bars best town

↓

All right, all right, you know what? Every...

↓

Let's just, everybody calm down.

calm everybody everybody-calm

↓

Okay? We're here, you know? Let's give it another shot.

another another-shot shot

↓

Right? The show's about to begin.

begin shows

↓

That was always one of the best parts

best parts

↓

of this place anyway, right? The show.

place

↓

-Okay. Okay. -Let's see if the show's good.

shows

↓

-One, one last shot. -Hard to screw the show up.

hard screw shot

↓

They could redeem themselves here.

redeem

↓

[announcer] Everybody clap your hands

announcer clap everybody hands

↓

'cause it's time to party.

party

↓

-[lively music playing] -Here it comes.

comes lively music music-playing playing

↓

-Okay. Okay. -Party time, baby.

baby party

↓

It's party time.

party

↓

What are these?

↓

-What's this? -Earplugs? -Earphones?

earphones

↓

-Are you serious? -No, no, no, no, no.

serious

↓

-No, no, no, no. No. -Get out of here.

↓

I want to be able to hear the show.

able

↓

-Risk E., Risk E.... -This is a jam, right?

risk

↓

Has a good beat going.

beat

↓

Yeah, I like that beat. That's it.

beat

↓

♪ It's time for magic and fun ♪

fun magic

↓

♪ Rocking out at Robbie-pizza.com ♪

pizza robbie rocking

↓

What the...?

↓

Did he just say Robbie-pizza.com?

pizza robbie

↓

-Did they change the name? -They can't...

change name

↓

You cannot call a place a website.

cannot place website

↓

That's crazy.

crazy

↓

He's not Risk E. anymore?

anymore risk

↓

-He's Robbie now? -[groans]

groans robbie

↓

This is so depressing, but, g-guys, we c...

depressing

↓

we can't wallow.

↓

We got to do something about this.

↓

For the sake of the kids!

kids sake

↓

Okay. So here's what we do.

↓

We recreate the old Risk E.'s so that these kids can have

kids recreate risk

↓

the same experience that we had when we were younger

experience younger

↓

and they can perhaps tell the tale.

perhaps tale

↓

That's exactly what I was thinking.

thinking

↓

Guys, let's get risky.

risky

↓

[mischievous laughter]

laughter

↓

♪ Oh, yeah ♪

↓

♪ It's time for action, it's time for fun ♪

action fun

↓

♪ You better move, get off your butt and run ♪

butt

↓

-♪ You're a kid, you make the rules ♪ -♪ Make the rules ♪

rules

↓

♪ Be rude, freak out, and do something cool ♪

cool freak rude

↓

♪ Yeah ♪

↓

♪ Do it, do it, do it, do whatever you want ♪

↓

♪ At Risk E. Rat's Pizza, do whatever you want ♪

pizza rats rats-pizza risk

↓

♪ Entertain, go crazy, have fun, go nuts ♪

crazy entertain fun nuts

↓

♪ At Risk E. Rat's Pizza, do whatever you want ♪

pizza rats rats-pizza risk

↓

♪ Do whatever you want ♪

↓

♪ Do whatever you want. ♪

↓

Wow. Those kids are jazzed.

jazzed kids

↓

-Wow! -Yeah, man, we're all set here.

↓

[Frank laughs]

frank laughs

↓

Guys, I got to say, I think we've...

↓

I think we've done something pretty magical here today.

magical today

↓

-Yeah, yeah, yeah. -Yeah!

↓

Okay. On the count of three,

count three

↓

you open the doors and let 'em in...

doors open

↓

-[Dennis] Yeah. -...and I will throw this switch

dennis switch throw

↓

and let the real fun begin.

begin fun real

↓

-[Dennis] Yeah, baby. -Ready?

baby dennis ready

↓

-[cheering, whooping] -That's the attitude, Frank.

attitude cheering cheering-whooping frank whooping

↓

-[Charlie] Let's do it, let's do it. -[Dennis] Yeah, all right.

charlie dennis

↓

[all] Three, two, one...

three

↓

Fun!

fun

↓

-[crowd clamoring] -[horn honks]

clamoring crowd honks horn horn-honks

↓

Where's my son?! Where's my son?!

↓

[clamoring]

clamoring

↓

[woman] They're standing right over there. Go get them.

standing woman

↓

[helicopter blades whirring]

blades helicopter whirring

↓

[screaming]

screaming

↓

-Well, that got out of hand. -Yeah.

hand

↓

Yeah, these kids, they just,

kids

↓

th-they weren't prepared for that amount of fun.

amount fun prepared

↓

You know what it is?

↓

That's because they were sheltered too much.

↓

-Right. -I'm glad that they signed the waiver, though.

glad signed

↓

Oh, right. No lawsuits for them.

lawsuits

↓

-[laughter] -They can't do shit.

laughter

↓

-Nobody can sue. -Although you didn't, you didn't sign anything.

nobody sign

↓

Ah, they won't find me.

↓

-Hey, should we get out of here? -Yes. -Probably, yes.

↓

-Let's go, let's go. -Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's slip out.

slip

↓

Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org

access access-group access-wgbh captioned group media media-access media-access-group wgbh

↓

[trio chanting backwards]

backwards chanting chanting-backwards trio trio-chanting trio-chanting-backwards