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Season 1, Episode 4 — Social Psychology

I found your feedback

#4

⇓

to be largely constructive

#5

⇓

and flattering.

#6

⇓

De nada.

#8

⇓

Got it.

#10

⇓

that was so harsh

#12

⇓

and hurtful and racist

#13

⇓

against past exams.

#16

⇓

[♪♪♪]

#25

⇓

Yeah, shoot.

#27

⇓

You forget something?

#28

⇓

across campus

#32

⇓

That's mean.

#35

⇓

Yeah, but I'm a sprinter.

#41

⇓

I'm at my best during

#42

⇓

high speed bursts of wit.

#43

⇓

On a Shirley walk,

#44

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I'd be winded

#45

⇓

by that stoner tree.

#46

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No worries.

#49

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Interesting.

#50

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Because I might be worried

#51

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if I was playing hacky sack

#52

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a decade too late.

#53

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My class is that way.

#54

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All right.

#55

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I wanna point out

#56

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we easily walked

#57

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more than a hundred yards

#58

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with no awkward pauses.

#59

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That is the sign

#60

⇓

of a true friend. So...

#61

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There's the awkward pause.

#64

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Aah!

#65

⇓

[♪♪♪]

#66

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ANNIE:

#67

⇓

Excuse me. Oh, pardon me.

#68

⇓

Oh. Hello.

#74

⇓

The Duncan Principle.

#77

⇓

Yes.

#78

⇓

but made me lose

#86

⇓

Right.

#88

⇓

I've been in this

#92

⇓

situation many times,

#93

⇓

so I'm just gonna be upfront.

#94

⇓

I'm not allowed

#95

⇓

to date students.

#96

⇓

Though you're an eight.

#98

⇓

Which is a British ten.

#99

⇓

Oh.

#100

⇓

I'm angry.

#101

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you may join the lab.

#103

⇓

Oh!

#104

⇓

Ah.

#105

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Okay, you need to bring

#106

⇓

two human subjects.

#107

⇓

in my duffle

#111

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BRITTA:

#115

⇓

I never knew

#116

⇓

what asexual meant.

#117

⇓

I wonder what this

#118

⇓

express package could be.

#119

⇓

Somebody had to get

#120

⇓

something to me fast.

#121

⇓

Oh, yes. My Ear-Noculars.

#123

⇓

What is that? Looks like

#124

⇓

your blue-tooth.

#125

⇓

No, no, no.

#126

⇓

And this is Ear-Noculars.

#128

⇓

For spies.

#129

⇓

Gives you sonic hearing.

#130

⇓

What's that?

#132

⇓

So who wants to be

#133

⇓

Hey, guys, guys.

#135

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Annie is talking

#136

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She's behind you.

#138

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Not interested.

#139

⇓

Please. You get paid.

#140

⇓

No.

#142

⇓

Oof. Tomorrow,

#148

⇓

they're showing all four

#149

⇓

Indiana Joneses.

#150

⇓

three. I bought a whip.

#152

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This is important to me,

#154

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Abed.

#155

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Could you go as my friend?

#156

⇓

My really good friend?

#157

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Oh, thank you, Abed.

#165

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I'm gonna go save Britta

#167

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Hope he doesn't try

#170

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[BOTH LAUGHING]

#172

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You in line?

#176

⇓

No, just seeing if Britta--

#180

⇓

No judgment, bro.

#181

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I used to do coffee.

#182

⇓

Then I made the switch

#183

⇓

to green tea,

#184

⇓

it's like filled

#185

⇓

with these antioxidants.

#186

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It's pretty tight.

#187

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Tight. Yes, I've heard that

#188

⇓

about green tea.

#189

⇓

I like green tea.

#190

⇓

I should make the change.

#191

⇓

Up top, sugar bear.

#192

⇓

Small coffee.

#194

⇓

[♪♪♪]

#195

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Britta's making the change

#196

⇓

to green tea.

#197

⇓

Turn your attention

#200

⇓

to the monitor,

#201

⇓

you will see

#202

⇓

our subjects are waiting

#203

⇓

for the experiment to begin.

#204

⇓

But...

#205

⇓

it's actually happening

#206

⇓

right now.

#207

⇓

Oh, wow.

#208

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You see,

#209

⇓

The more control lost by--

#212

⇓

Yeah, I'm gonna write

#213

⇓

this down too.

#214

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That's a good point.

#215

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The more control lost

#216

⇓

by the ego,

#217

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the more gained by the id.

#218

⇓

Resulting

#219

⇓

emotional eruption

#221

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or breaking point.

#222

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Known to Ma and Pa

#223

⇓

[ALL LAUGHING]

#225

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Oh. Annie.

#226

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Why don't you, uh, go

#227

⇓

and tell our subjects

#228

⇓

we're gonna be starting

#229

⇓

in five minutes.

#230

⇓

[♪♪♪]

#231

⇓

And, Annie,

#232

⇓

it's never actually

#233

⇓

going to start.

#234

⇓

Ha-ha-ha.

#235

⇓

Let's do this.

#236

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Hi, everyone.

#237

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Hi, Troy. Hi, Abed.

#238

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Hi, Señor Chang.

#239

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Well, we're just running

#242

⇓

a little bit behind,

#243

⇓

so we'll probably start

#244

⇓

in about five minutes.

#245

⇓

No, no, no!

#246

⇓

No, no, no!

#247

⇓

something starts at 9,

#250

⇓

it starts at nueve.

#251

⇓

[MOANING]

#252

⇓

No, no!

#253

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Houston, we have an idiot.

#254

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[♪♪♪]

#255

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been walking together,

#259

⇓

Mm-hm.

#263

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You got a kid?

#267

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Nothing.

#269

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in the head, is he?

#271

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I know a lot of men

#272

⇓

with radar dishes

#273

⇓

How about that guy

#277

⇓

flirting with Britta?

#278

⇓

Vaughn?

#280

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We're three hours in,

#283

⇓

let's review what we've seen.

#284

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And pay close attention

#285

⇓

to every subject's

#286

⇓

breaking point.

#287

⇓

Ah!

#289

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That one's a stomper.

#290

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Bye, hippie.

#291

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bouncing up and down

#293

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like a 6-foot child.

#294

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Shaking, write that down.

#295

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Visible shakes.

#296

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I can make them go quicker,

#299

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like Benny Hill.

#300

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That's very funny.

#302

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Lightens the mood.

#303

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And then there were two.

#305

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[♪♪♪]

#306

⇓

were tonight.

#316

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You promised...

#317

⇓

[SOBBING]

#318

⇓

And he's out. We got him.

#319

⇓

It's strike three.

#320

⇓

You're gone.

#321

⇓

Know what?

#323

⇓

The longer they wait,

#324

⇓

the harder they break.

#325

⇓

Buckle up, students.

#326

⇓

I'm so glad to be able

#332

⇓

to talk to someone.

#333

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I wanted to say

#334

⇓

something to Britta.

#335

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We're supposed to be friends.

#336

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She'd think I was jealous.

#337

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We're not pandas

#342

⇓

in a zoo.

#343

⇓

[CHUCKLES]

#344

⇓

[♪♪♪]

#346

⇓

And there goes the shirt.

#348

⇓

[COIN JINGLES]

#349

⇓

[♪♪♪]

#350

⇓

[TAPPING]

#351

⇓

Hey, I'm fine. Oh.

#353

⇓

Want me to, uh, check you

#354

⇓

for grass stains?

#355

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I wasn't sure

#356

⇓

that I was hanging out

#358

⇓

with Vaughn.

#359

⇓

fun of him and me.

#361

⇓

Uh, First of all,

#362

⇓

friends don't make fun

#363

⇓

of each other,

#364

⇓

even if they're being tackled

#365

⇓

in the quad by a hippie.

#366

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And secondly, Vaughn...

#367

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seems cool.

#368

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You guys

#369

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I gotta go. I, uh--

#371

⇓

Oh, no worries, brah.

#374

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[♪♪♪]

#375

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Shirley.

#376

⇓

Did you see

#377

⇓

Señor Chang's socks today?

#378

⇓

Ha-ha.

#380

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I'm trying to be

#385

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a good friend to Britta.

#386

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She thought I was gonna

#387

⇓

make fun of him,

#388

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but I wanna be unpredictable.

#389

⇓

the jerk she thinks I am.

#391

⇓

Tell me you noticed

#394

⇓

No.

#401

⇓

No!

#403

⇓

Is-- Is it on pause?

#404

⇓

Sorry you've been waiting

#406

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26 hours.

#407

⇓

It's just gonna be

#408

⇓

another five minutes.

#409

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Okey-dokey.

#410

⇓

Oh, my--

#412

⇓

Why won't he leave?

#413

⇓

What?

#415

⇓

I'm sorry,

#416

⇓

this guy's not moving.

#417

⇓

I have classes to go to.

#418

⇓

Go, fine.

#419

⇓

Go kill John Lennon again,

#420

⇓

you loser.

#421

⇓

He's ruined my study.

#422

⇓

He has warped

#423

⇓

the Duncan Principle.

#424

⇓

Damn you,

#425

⇓

Ow!

#427

⇓

Aah!

#428

⇓

It's you.

#429

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It's your fault.

#430

⇓

But you told me

#431

⇓

to bring subjects.

#432

⇓

Yeah, subjects.

#433

⇓

Not Rain Man.

#434

⇓

into this lab,

#436

⇓

Miss Annie Fanny

#437

⇓

Panties in a Bunch.

#438

⇓

with another question.

#443

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[BLOWS RASPBERRY]

#444

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It's not fair.

#445

⇓

It's not fair.

#446

⇓

[YELLING]

#447

⇓

What are you doing?

#448

⇓

Stop writing.

#449

⇓

Put your-- Give me that.

#450

⇓

Get out!

#451

⇓

Get out, you dorks!

#452

⇓

Get out!

#453

⇓

[DUNCAN PANTING]

#454

⇓

You have destroyed

#455

⇓

the Duncan Principle.

#456

⇓

[♪♪♪]

#457

⇓

Go home!

#458

⇓

Cool.

#459

⇓

See you.

#460

⇓

Ha-ha-ha.

#466

⇓

Gonna get dessert.

#470

⇓

Want anything?

#471

⇓

Carrots.

#472

⇓

Oh, I'm good.

#473

⇓

Hey, you two.

#474

⇓

Well, that's a cool shirt.

#476

⇓

I guess it's, well-- Uh...

#480

⇓

Oh, that's nice.

#483

⇓

You know, people

#484

⇓

throwing the 'bee,

#487

⇓

It's just inspiring.

#489

⇓

I'm gonna think about it.

#491

⇓

All right.

#492

⇓

See you.

#495

⇓

I know.

#497

⇓

[SPEAKING IN SPANISH]

#498

⇓

You said, "Sunday."

#503

⇓

You like Vaughn?

#505

⇓

Oh, he-- he's very cute.

#506

⇓

he's thinking

#508

⇓

School?

#512

⇓

Dinner mints?

#514

⇓

Not having sex.

#516

⇓

[SIGHS]

#517

⇓

What? Forget that.

#519

⇓

The problem right now

#520

⇓

It's getting

#523

⇓

a little relationship-y.

#524

⇓

And he gave me something.

#525

⇓

No.

#527

⇓

A poem?

#529

⇓

And it's one I will answer--

#534

⇓

Uh-- Oh, I'm getting a text.

#535

⇓

I'm just gonna read it

#536

⇓

if you don't mind.

#537

⇓

"Did you ever notice

#540

⇓

Did ya? It's

#542

⇓

The same wizard blue

#543

⇓

That I see

#544

⇓

In your eye, Britta"

#545

⇓

No! Wizard blue.

#546

⇓

Oh!

#547

⇓

Look at this. Look at this.

#552

⇓

over the word, "rad."

#554

⇓

I'm surprised he can read.

#559

⇓

Hey, sorry about bailing

#562

⇓

on the psych experiment.

#563

⇓

That was the experiment.

#564

⇓

would wait in the room.

#566

⇓

Oh.

#568

⇓

"Gotcha"?

#570

⇓

Yeah.

#572

⇓

You sat in a room

#573

⇓

for 26 straight hours.

#574

⇓

Didn't that bother you?

#575

⇓

You asked me to stay

#578

⇓

Wait. Is this still

#580

⇓

the experiment?

#581

⇓

He's more like a puppy

#582

⇓

with a fish mouth.

#583

⇓

Right, right, right.

#584

⇓

It's more like this:

#585

⇓

That's right. Laugh it up.

#587

⇓

Yeah.

#589

⇓

Making fun of all of us.

#591

⇓

I heard you

#592

⇓

with my own Ear-Noculars.

#593

⇓

Pierce,

#594

⇓

Calling me Hacky Sack,

#596

⇓

and ripping my--

#597

⇓

My six pack abs

#598

⇓

and my moist hair.

#599

⇓

And that face you made:

#600

⇓

This is definitely

#602

⇓

still the experiment.

#603

⇓

We were not

#604

⇓

making fun of you.

#605

⇓

We're making fun

#606

⇓

Oh, good. Well, in that case,

#608

⇓

if we're gonna do something,

#609

⇓

do it as a team.

#610

⇓

I'll get the ball rolling.

#611

⇓

Maybe he has a tiny penis.

#612

⇓

You all have to see him.

#614

⇓

Everything's,

#615

⇓

"No worries."

#616

⇓

Always says hello

#617

⇓

three times in a row.

#618

⇓

"Hello, good evening,

#619

⇓

how are you?"

#620

⇓

And look, he wrote a poem.

#621

⇓

[ALL LAUGHING]

#622

⇓

We shouldn't.

#624

⇓

He just said it.

#628

⇓

[ALL LAUGHING]

#631

⇓

Ha-ha. What a fool.

#632

⇓

This group's got a case

#634

⇓

of the giggles, huh? Heh.

#635

⇓

No.

#638

⇓

Why's the dinosaur

#639

⇓

Here, read it.

#641

⇓

No.

#646

⇓

[♪♪♪]

#650

⇓

I can't believe you.

#651

⇓

Honestly, Jeff, how dare you?

#652

⇓

He's crying.

#654

⇓

Now, he's barking.

#655

⇓

Can't believe

#659

⇓

I showed that poem.

#660

⇓

Oh, my God,

#661

⇓

my life is Degrassi High.

#662

⇓

Oh, Jeff.

#663

⇓

I have a gossip problem.

#664

⇓

Hey, look at the size

#675

⇓

of that woman's earrings.

#676

⇓

It's like little dogs

#677

⇓

[BOTH LAUGHING]

#679

⇓

Don't do this.

#682

⇓

Look, we can still hang out.

#683

⇓

It's just, you know,

#684

⇓

we won't bag on people.

#685

⇓

Come on.

#686

⇓

Well...

#691

⇓

Jeff. Wait, wait.

#694

⇓

but one last

#696

⇓

little piece of gossip.

#697

⇓

[♪♪♪]

#698

⇓

Britta told me

#699

⇓

You still have a chance.

#701

⇓

Details.

#703

⇓

Details. Details.

#704

⇓

Abed, here.

#705

⇓

I wanna just say sorry

#706

⇓

for yelling at you.

#707

⇓

Indiana Jones, cool.

#708

⇓

I just got

#709

⇓

BOTH:

#711

⇓

The fourth one blows.

#712

⇓

I know, and I'm sorry.

#716

⇓

Vaughn broke up with me.

#720

⇓

You broke my trust. You suck.

#722

⇓

I couldn't handle

#725

⇓

What do you wanna be?

#727

⇓

Is...

#728

⇓

How about the friend level

#737

⇓

where you sometimes

#738

⇓

have to cat sit?

#739

⇓

I won't complain.

#742

⇓

She stirs the pot.

#745

⇓

She's a pot stirrer.

#746

⇓

Sorry, dudes.

#747

⇓

No worries, man.

#748

⇓

♪ Now there was a time ♪

#751

⇓

♪ When you loved me so ♪

#753

⇓

♪ I could have been wrong ♪

#754

⇓

funny about that guy.

#756

⇓

Oh, hi, Jeff.

#759

⇓

Oh, no. Pierce, Pierce,

#761

⇓

give me your ear thing.

#762

⇓

♪ I found a brand new love

#764

⇓

For this man ♪

#765

⇓

to us in this range.

#774

⇓

The people we love.

#775

⇓

♪ How you like me now ♪

#776

⇓

♪ How you like me now ♪

#777

⇓

♪ How you like me now ♪

#778

⇓

Inspector Gadget.

#780

⇓

♪ How you like me now ♪

#781

⇓

ABED:

#782

⇓

Oh, I think it's time

#783

⇓

for Burning Man.

#784

⇓

TROY:

#785

⇓

ABED:

#788

⇓

Wow, I love reading and

#789

⇓

TROY:

#791

⇓

Hey, man, coming through,

#792

⇓

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

#794

⇓

TROY:

#795

⇓

I'm Dr. Doogie Seacrest.

#796

⇓

I think I'm better than

#797

⇓

everyone else because I'm 40.

#798

⇓

I'm not 40.

#799

⇓

I can hear you

#800

⇓

through the window, morons.

#801

⇓

Just pretend like

#802

⇓

you asleep.

#803

⇓

Just pretend

#804

⇓

like you were sleeping.

#805

⇓