Home » Scrubs » S05E17 — My Chopped Liver

Scrubs

Season 5, Episode 17 — My Chopped Liver

What is that?

#1

⇓

This is an electronic hide-and-seek game.

#2

⇓

This is an electronic hide-and-seek game.

#3

⇓

The other person wears a sensor. Closer you get, the more it beeps.

#4

⇓

The other person wears a sensor. Closer you get, the more it beeps.

#5

⇓

- Funsies. - Yeah.

#6

⇓

Mrs Factor has an aortoenteric fistula and needs a consult.

#7

⇓

Mrs Factor has an aortoenteric fistula and needs a consult.

#8

⇓

Fire away.

#9

⇓

- See her red highlights? - Yes.

#10

⇓

- See her red highlights? - Yes.

#11

⇓

Could I pull those off or am I so kidding myself?

#12

⇓

Could I pull those off or am I so kidding myself?

#13

⇓

- I don't have time. - You're playing hide-and-seek.

#14

⇓

With my nine-year-old patient, Eric.

#15

⇓

With my nine-year-old patient, Eric.

#16

⇓

He's been in the hospital for a month. He deserves a little fun.

#17

⇓

He's been in the hospital for a month. He deserves a little fun.

#18

⇓

Sorry, Turk. Sorry.

#19

⇓

Sorry, Turk. Sorry.

#20

⇓

How bad would she look with red highlights?

#21

⇓

How bad would she look with red highlights?

#22

⇓

I know. It is now my turn to hide.

#23

⇓

- I count. - All right.

#24

⇓

Close a brother up.

#25

⇓

Close a brother up.

#26

⇓

So I like to remember all the carpal bones in the hands

#27

⇓

So I like to remember all the carpal bones in the hands

#28

⇓

with a simple mnemonic device.

#29

⇓

Scaphoid, lunate, triquetrum, pisiform, trapezium, trapezoid, capitate, hamate.

#30

⇓

Scaphoid, lunate, triquetrum, pisiform, trapezium, trapezoid, capitate, hamate.

#31

⇓

Some lovers try positions that they can't handle.

#32

⇓

Some lovers try positions that they can't handle.

#33

⇓

Hey.

#34

⇓

That was not directed at you, doctor.

#35

⇓

That was not directed at you, doctor.

#36

⇓

But you should stretch first next time you try the Whirly Bird.

#37

⇓

But you should stretch first next time you try the Whirly Bird.

#38

⇓

Excuse me, does anyone here happen to have a plate of jeebies?

#39

⇓

Excuse me, does anyone here happen to have a plate of jeebies?

#40

⇓

Because these two just gave me a big old scoop of the heebies.

#41

⇓

Because these two just gave me a big old scoop of the heebies.

#42

⇓

Seriously, it cannot just be me. I want to hear from the audience.

#43

⇓

Seriously, it cannot just be me. I want to hear from the audience.

#44

⇓

I do. Dating in the workplace.

#45

⇓

I do. Dating in the workplace.

#46

⇓

She's the boss. He's the pretty intern.

#47

⇓

She's the boss. He's the pretty intern.

#48

⇓

Tell me what's bugging you. Courage.

#49

⇓

Well, sometimes they arrive in the morning and they smell like sex.

#50

⇓

Well, sometimes they arrive in the morning and they smell like sex.

#51

⇓

Gloria, telling it like it smells.

#52

⇓

Gloria, telling it like it smells.

#53

⇓

I'm proud of you.

#54

⇓

Barbie, who hurt you?

#55

⇓

Barbie, who hurt you?

#56

⇓

Is there something you want?

#57

⇓

Is there something you want?

#58

⇓

Actually, yes.

#59

⇓

It is one of those rare days where you could be of use to me.

#60

⇓

It is one of those rare days where you could be of use to me.

#61

⇓

You speak German, I have a patient from Berlin

#62

⇓

You speak German, I have a patient from Berlin

#63

⇓

and I need to tell the gentleman he has fluid in his lungs.

#64

⇓

How are you?

#65

⇓

Relax, dude. Playing electronic hide-and-seek.

#66

⇓

Relax, dude. Playing electronic hide-and-seek.

#67

⇓

Hey, baby.

#68

⇓

Hey, baby.

#69

⇓

Yeah, I know my shift's over, but...

#70

⇓

No, I'm not fooling around with J.D. I'm...

#71

⇓

No, I'm not fooling around with J.D. I'm...

#72

⇓

OK, cool. I'm on my way home.

#73

⇓

OK, cool. I'm on my way home.

#74

⇓

All right, I just took the pregnancy test. Just tell me when a minute's up.

#75

⇓

All right, I just took the pregnancy test. Just tell me when a minute's up.

#76

⇓

I just put some pizza rolls in the microwave oven.

#77

⇓

I just put some pizza rolls in the microwave oven.

#78

⇓

The minute that bad boy dings, we're good to go.

#79

⇓

The minute that bad boy dings, we're good to go.

#80

⇓

Oh, my God, I can't stand it! Thirty more seconds!

#81

⇓

Oh, my God, I can't stand it! Thirty more seconds!

#82

⇓

OK, honey. Don't get too excited.

#83

⇓

They have to cool off for a minute. That cheese is like lava.

#84

⇓

They have to cool off for a minute. That cheese is like lava.

#85

⇓

Is there a bigger idiot than you in the entire world?

#86

⇓

Is there a bigger idiot than you in the entire world?

#87

⇓

I'm seeking you, Turk!

#88

⇓

It's negative.

#89

⇓

Look at me.

#90

⇓

Hey, look at me.

#91

⇓

Hey, look at me.

#92

⇓

It's gonna happen.

#93

⇓

Eat your pizza rolls. I gotta get to work.

#94

⇓

Eat your pizza rolls. I gotta get to work.

#95

⇓

By the way, next time, buy a name brand pregnancy test,

#96

⇓

By the way, next time, buy a name brand pregnancy test,

#97

⇓

- not that generic one. - If you raised my allowance,

#98

⇓

- not that generic one. - If you raised my allowance,

#99

⇓

I wouldn't have to bargain shop to buy pizza rolls.

#100

⇓

Secondly, this pregnancy test works just as well as the name brand one.

#101

⇓

Secondly, this pregnancy test works just as well as the name brand one.

#102

⇓

Wait a second. Results in three minutes.

#103

⇓

Wait a second. Results in three minutes.

#104

⇓

Some things deserve to be tossed out on their asses.

#105

⇓

Some things deserve to be tossed out on their asses.

#106

⇓

But the thing you shouldn't toss out

#107

⇓

But the thing you shouldn't toss out

#108

⇓

is a pregnancy test that takes two minutes longer than you thought.

#109

⇓

is a pregnancy test that takes two minutes longer than you thought.

#110

⇓

Oh, my God, we're pregnant.

#111

⇓

Oh, my God, we're pregnant.

#112

⇓

(theme song)

#113

⇓

(theme song)

#114

⇓

Mr Roberts and I just love our above-ground pool.

#115

⇓

Mr Roberts and I just love our above-ground pool.

#116

⇓

In high school, I was actually all-state swimmer.

#117

⇓

Breaststroke-five! Maybe later.

#118

⇓

Breaststroke-five! Maybe later.

#119

⇓

Every workplace has that guy who has to top everyone else's story.

#120

⇓

Every workplace has that guy who has to top everyone else's story.

#121

⇓

When I was 19, I was a world-class 110-meter hurdler.

#122

⇓

When I was 19, I was a world-class 110-meter hurdler.

#123

⇓

I remember the nationals like they were yesterday.

#124

⇓

I remember the nationals like they were yesterday.

#125

⇓

Runners, take your positions.

#126

⇓

Runners, take your positions.

#127

⇓

On your mark...

#128

⇓

On your mark...

#129

⇓

...set...

#130

⇓

...set...

#131

⇓

Good race.

#132

⇓

They offered me a full ride at Grambling,

#133

⇓

They offered me a full ride at Grambling,

#134

⇓

but I slept with the president's daughter.

#135

⇓

Not the college. The president of the United States.

#136

⇓

Not the college. The president of the United States.

#137

⇓

But if Amy Carter asks you up for a nightcap, you do not say no.

#138

⇓

But if Amy Carter asks you up for a nightcap, you do not say no.

#139

⇓

No. No more.

#140

⇓

No. No more.

#141

⇓

Here are some of the lies you've told over the last five years.

#142

⇓

Here are some of the lies you've told over the last five years.

#143

⇓

You went to Harvard. You have a wife who only has a pointer and thumb pinkie.

#144

⇓

You went to Harvard. You have a wife who only has a pointer and thumb pinkie.

#145

⇓

You have a brother-dad, a mother-sister.

#146

⇓

You have two kids. Wait, one kid.

#147

⇓

You had a baby with a Chinese local. You're deaf-mute.

#148

⇓

You had a baby with a Chinese local. You're deaf-mute.

#149

⇓

Wait. You're a world-class hurdler

#150

⇓

and you slept with the beautiful and irreplaceable Amy Carter.

#151

⇓

and you slept with the beautiful and irreplaceable Amy Carter.

#152

⇓

I didn't sleep with Amy Carter. We did everything but.

#153

⇓

I didn't sleep with Amy Carter. We did everything but.

#154

⇓

And I really was a world-class hurdler.

#155

⇓

We're not buying it. Are we, gang?

#156

⇓

We're not buying it. Are we, gang?

#157

⇓

- No. - Yeah, no.

#158

⇓

- No. - Yeah, no.

#159

⇓

The people have spoken. Allow me to bask in the glow.

#160

⇓

The people have spoken. Allow me to bask in the glow.

#161

⇓

- J.D., guess what? - Not now, Turk, I'm glow-basking.

#162

⇓

- J.D., guess what? - Not now, Turk, I'm glow-basking.

#163

⇓

Dude, listen to me!

#164

⇓

Where is Carla?

#165

⇓

She just went downstairs. What is all the excitement?

#166

⇓

She just went downstairs. What is all the excitement?

#167

⇓

You tell him. No, you tell him.

#168

⇓

You tell him. No, you tell him.

#169

⇓

We're having a baby.

#170

⇓

Red states be damned. You're gonna make great fathers.

#171

⇓

Red states be damned. You're gonna make great fathers.

#172

⇓

- What's going on? - My turn.

#173

⇓

- OK. Go ahead. - Carla? Prego!

#174

⇓

- OK. Go ahead. - Carla? Prego!

#175

⇓

Oh, my God, Turk. Carla must be so happy.

#176

⇓

Oh, my God, Turk. Carla must be so happy.

#177

⇓

I haven't told her. I'm gonna now.

#178

⇓

Wait, Turk. When has a man ever been able tell his wife that she's pregnant?

#179

⇓

Wait, Turk. When has a man ever been able tell his wife that she's pregnant?

#180

⇓

Allow me to paint you a picture with my imagination brush. OK?

#181

⇓

Allow me to paint you a picture with my imagination brush. OK?

#182

⇓

You two come out in the parking lot where Carla's friends have gathered.

#183

⇓

You two come out in the parking lot where Carla's friends have gathered.

#184

⇓

They're holding a banner that says, "Carla, you're pregnant and I dove you."

#185

⇓

They're holding a banner that says, "Carla, you're pregnant and I dove you."

#186

⇓

Did I say "dove"? I did, Turk.

#187

⇓

Did I say "dove"? I did, Turk.

#188

⇓

That's when I cue the bird wrangler who releases 500 white doves into the air.

#189

⇓

That's when I cue the bird wrangler who releases 500 white doves into the air.

#190

⇓

Where do they land? I don't know. But one thing Carla knows

#191

⇓

Where do they land? I don't know. But one thing Carla knows

#192

⇓

is that in her uterus is a little, soft baby Turk.

#193

⇓

is that in her uterus is a little, soft baby Turk.

#194

⇓

Are you forgetting what happened

#195

⇓

Are you forgetting what happened

#196

⇓

when you had doves at my parents' anniversary?

#197

⇓

This won't be indoors and there won't be people throwing birdseed.

#198

⇓

This won't be indoors and there won't be people throwing birdseed.

#199

⇓

Why were people throwing seed?

#200

⇓

Why were people throwing seed?

#201

⇓

The point is you, my friend, have a chance to be on the greatest surprise

#202

⇓

The point is you, my friend, have a chance to be on the greatest surprise

#203

⇓

a husband has ever pulled for his wife,

#204

⇓

and you get credit for it the length of your entire marriage.

#205

⇓

and you get credit for it the length of your entire marriage.

#206

⇓

- I'm in! - Great.

#207

⇓

- I'm in! - Great.

#208

⇓

I'll tell everybody. You find Carla. Dr Cox...

#209

⇓

Halt. I will be doing nothing.

#210

⇓

Halt. I will be doing nothing.

#211

⇓

Well, you at least won't tell Carla, right?

#212

⇓

Well, you at least won't tell Carla, right?

#213

⇓

Ever since I was blitzkrieged by an enraged German named Otto,

#214

⇓

Ever since I was blitzkrieged by an enraged German named Otto,

#215

⇓

a certain Dr Barbie no longer exists for me,

#216

⇓

so if she was to ask me a question,

#217

⇓

so if she was to ask me a question,

#218

⇓

I wouldn't be able to hear and you'd have to repeat it.

#219

⇓

I wouldn't be able to hear and you'd have to repeat it.

#220

⇓

- Can you just please not tell Carla? - Fine.

#221

⇓

And Elliot, if you see Carla, don't get emotional.

#222

⇓

And Elliot, if you see Carla, don't get emotional.

#223

⇓

No problem.

#224

⇓

No problem.

#225

⇓

Really? Baby.

#226

⇓

Oh, my God, Turk. Carla's gonna be so happy.

#227

⇓

Oh, my God, Turk. Carla's gonna be so happy.

#228

⇓

The family wants me to do a hip surgery. What are they thinking? The guy's 92.

#229

⇓

The family wants me to do a hip surgery. What are they thinking? The guy's 92.

#230

⇓

He's their grandfather. It's not like he's a dog

#231

⇓

He's their grandfather. It's not like he's a dog

#232

⇓

and they can go to a kennel and pick out another one.

#233

⇓

and they can go to a kennel and pick out another one.

#234

⇓

We just got a lot of great new grandfathers in.

#235

⇓

We just got a lot of great new grandfathers in.

#236

⇓

OK. Look at this one. He's so cute!

#237

⇓

Hey! Get out of my yard.

#238

⇓

Hey! Get out of my yard.

#239

⇓

He's not good with people.

#240

⇓

He's not good with people.

#241

⇓

He's great, but we really don't want to separate them.

#242

⇓

He's great, but we really don't want to separate them.

#243

⇓

I already have a grandma.

#244

⇓

If I get one this little, everybody's gonna think I'm gay.

#245

⇓

Oh, look at this fellow. Come here, boy.

#246

⇓

Oh, look at this fellow. Come here, boy.

#247

⇓

Oh, look at this fellow. Come here, boy.

#248

⇓

Got a little hard candy for you.

#249

⇓

Come here. Yes. Good boy.

#250

⇓

Come here. Yes. Good boy.

#251

⇓

Who's a good boy? You got a candy you can unwrap in a movie theatre.

#252

⇓

Who's a good boy? You got a candy you can unwrap in a movie theatre.

#253

⇓

I'd name him Sebastian.

#254

⇓

Hey, what's up with the Janitor? He seems a little more lurky than usual.

#255

⇓

Hey, what's up with the Janitor? He seems a little more lurky than usual.

#256

⇓

I pissed him off earlier today. How am I supposed to avoid him?

#257

⇓

I pissed him off earlier today. How am I supposed to avoid him?

#258

⇓

Put the hide-and-seek sensor on him. That way you'll always know where he is.

#259

⇓

Put the hide-and-seek sensor on him. That way you'll always know where he is.

#260

⇓

It would take a very clever plan to hide this tiny penny-like sensor on him.

#261

⇓

It would take a very clever plan to hide this tiny penny-like sensor on him.

#262

⇓

It would take a very clever plan to hide this tiny penny-like sensor on him.

#263

⇓

Five bucks if you eat this penny.

#264

⇓

Five bucks if you eat this penny.

#265

⇓

Done... and done.

#266

⇓

We pulled it off. See if it works.

#267

⇓

My friend, we have just LoJacked the Janitor. Hello?

#268

⇓

My friend, we have just LoJacked the Janitor. Hello?

#269

⇓

I've got a patient with osteomyelitis who needs a bone biopsy.

#270

⇓

I've got a patient with osteomyelitis who needs a bone biopsy.

#271

⇓

Who do you use?

#272

⇓

You've put me in an awkward spot because I'm a healer and I want to help,

#273

⇓

You've put me in an awkward spot because I'm a healer and I want to help,

#274

⇓

but speaking to you would acknowledge your existence. You don't exist.

#275

⇓

but speaking to you would acknowledge your existence. You don't exist.

#276

⇓

So I'm going to address the stapler.

#277

⇓

So I'm going to address the stapler.

#278

⇓

Hi, stapler. The red is killer.

#279

⇓

Hi, stapler. The red is killer.

#280

⇓

By the way, there's a Dr Brownsfield who is just the most wonderful bone guy.

#281

⇓

By the way, there's a Dr Brownsfield who is just the most wonderful bone guy.

#282

⇓

What? What's that, stapler? Oh, no. She's an actual doctor.

#283

⇓

What? What's that, stapler? Oh, no. She's an actual doctor.

#284

⇓

Neither of you are very funny.

#285

⇓

Neither of you are very funny.

#286

⇓

Here are your lab results.

#287

⇓

Oh, my God, Carla.

#288

⇓

Oh, my God, Carla.

#289

⇓

- Elliot, what's wrong? - Yeah, Elliot, honey. What's wrong?

#290

⇓

- Elliot, what's wrong? - Yeah, Elliot, honey. What's wrong?

#291

⇓

Nothing, I'm just very emotional because...

#292

⇓

Nothing, I'm just very emotional because...

#293

⇓

...Keith dumped me. I have to go.

#294

⇓

...Keith dumped me. I have to go.

#295

⇓

Another one. Shoot.

#296

⇓

Another one. Shoot.

#297

⇓

Keith, I have been watching you and you've got some potential.

#298

⇓

Keith, I have been watching you and you've got some potential.

#299

⇓

You do, but can I give you one piece of advice?

#300

⇓

You do, but can I give you one piece of advice?

#301

⇓

- Please. - It is all about confidence.

#302

⇓

- Please. - It is all about confidence.

#303

⇓

Hell, be a cocky bastard. Throw 'em a wink every once in a while.

#304

⇓

Hell, be a cocky bastard. Throw 'em a wink every once in a while.

#305

⇓

Show me a wink. Show me the wink. Give me the wink.

#306

⇓

Show me a wink. Show me the wink. Give me the wink.

#307

⇓

That's the guy. That's the guy who broke our friend's heart.

#308

⇓

That's the guy. That's the guy who broke our friend's heart.

#309

⇓

Well, hey. He's probably hurting too.

#310

⇓

Hey, baby.

#311

⇓

Oh, no. He did not just wink at me. For the next five minutes, I am not a nurse.

#312

⇓

Oh, no. He did not just wink at me. For the next five minutes, I am not a nurse.

#313

⇓

Carla, Carla. There is a better way.

#314

⇓

Carla, Carla. There is a better way.

#315

⇓

I don't like it, but Jordan tells her friends intimate details about me.

#316

⇓

I don't like it, but Jordan tells her friends intimate details about me.

#317

⇓

Our sex lives, parenting deficiencies.

#318

⇓

Our sex lives, parenting deficiencies.

#319

⇓

The point is I'm sure Elliot has told you things about Keith.

#320

⇓

The point is I'm sure Elliot has told you things about Keith.

#321

⇓

So instead of yelling at him, why not calmly let him know

#322

⇓

So instead of yelling at him, why not calmly let him know

#323

⇓

that you know things that he thinks no one knows.

#324

⇓

that you know things that he thinks no one knows.

#325

⇓

Oh, Keith, mind taking a walk with me?

#326

⇓

Oh, Keith, mind taking a walk with me?

#327

⇓

Yeah.

#328

⇓

- Is Carla gone? - Yeah. She sure is.

#329

⇓

- Oh, thank God. - Say Barbie? We're even.

#330

⇓

- Oh, thank God. - Say Barbie? We're even.

#331

⇓

Oh, no.

#332

⇓

All right. Before Carla arrives,

#333

⇓

All right. Before Carla arrives,

#334

⇓

I want to thank you all for turning out. Especially you, Father Rosenberg.

#335

⇓

I want to thank you all for turning out. Especially you, Father Rosenberg.

#336

⇓

Incidentally, when this is over,

#337

⇓

I'd love to get the back story on that name of yours, OK?

#338

⇓

I'd love to get the back story on that name of yours, OK?

#339

⇓

Excuse me.

#340

⇓

Excuse me.

#341

⇓

OK. Coming through.

#342

⇓

OK. Coming through.

#343

⇓

Now, apparently they don't have foetus balloons. Who knew?

#344

⇓

Now, apparently they don't have foetus balloons. Who knew?

#345

⇓

What I've done is attached string to the bellybuttons

#346

⇓

on these baby balloons to signify the umbilical cord.

#347

⇓

on these baby balloons to signify the umbilical cord.

#348

⇓

Make sure everybody gets one.

#349

⇓

Make sure everybody gets one.

#350

⇓

Keith, you seem to have missed the point here. We're not really broken up.

#351

⇓

Keith, you seem to have missed the point here. We're not really broken up.

#352

⇓

I can't believe you told Carla I made out with my sister in sixth grade.

#353

⇓

I can't believe you told Carla I made out with my sister in sixth grade.

#354

⇓

I don't understand why you're so embarrassed.

#355

⇓

I don't understand why you're so embarrassed.

#356

⇓

I've met Denise. She's gorgeous.

#357

⇓

You might not get pregnant for a very, very, very long time.

#358

⇓

You might not get pregnant for a very, very, very long time.

#359

⇓

You might not get pregnant for a very, very, very long time.

#360

⇓

I know it's gonna happen. You know what I'm looking forward to the most?

#361

⇓

I know it's gonna happen. You know what I'm looking forward to the most?

#362

⇓

What's that?

#363

⇓

When we go to our friends and I can tell them one-by-one, "I'm pregnant!"

#364

⇓

When we go to our friends and I can tell them one-by-one, "I'm pregnant!"

#365

⇓

I can't wait to see the look on each one of their faces.

#366

⇓

I can't wait to see the look on each one of their faces.

#367

⇓

I think about it every day.

#368

⇓

Anyone tries to take those moments away from me, I'll kill them.

#369

⇓

Anyone tries to take those moments away from me, I'll kill them.

#370

⇓

Me too. Just need to send a quick text.

#371

⇓

Me too. Just need to send a quick text.

#372

⇓

Oh, no. We've got a glitch.

#373

⇓

Oh, no. We've got a glitch.

#374

⇓

Abort the plan! Abort the surprise!

#375

⇓

Abort the babies!

#376

⇓

Abort the babies!

#377

⇓

Everybody, run!

#378

⇓

Sorry about the whole "abort the babies" thing.

#379

⇓

Sorry about the whole "abort the babies" thing.

#380

⇓

Actually, I'm pro-choice.

#381

⇓

Actually, I'm pro-choice.

#382

⇓

Knowing someone's pregnant when they don't know it

#383

⇓

can get a bit complicated.

#384

⇓

Let me take that from you. You left the fridge open.

#385

⇓

Let me take that from you. You left the fridge open.

#386

⇓

- I spilled it. - I'll get another one.

#387

⇓

Sorry.

#388

⇓

Sorry.

#389

⇓

What are you doing?

#390

⇓

I may have gotten over-excited and told her family members

#391

⇓

I may have gotten over-excited and told her family members

#392

⇓

- that she's pregnant. - You have 59 messages.

#393

⇓

- that she's pregnant. - You have 59 messages.

#394

⇓

Carla...

#395

⇓

Turk, the answering machine's broken.

#396

⇓

Turk, the answering machine's broken.

#397

⇓

And I don't think we have any more wine.

#398

⇓

And I don't think we have any more wine.

#399

⇓

Turk, can I have some of yours?

#400

⇓

I felt Turk was starting to blame me for all this.

#401

⇓

I felt Turk was starting to blame me for all this.

#402

⇓

I spilled mine too. You know what you should do?

#403

⇓

I spilled mine too. You know what you should do?

#404

⇓

Ask for some of J.D.'s.

#405

⇓

Ask for some of J.D.'s.

#406

⇓

Spilled mine too.

#407

⇓

Spilled mine too.

#408

⇓

I'm going to bed.

#409

⇓

What are you gonna do?

#410

⇓

I'm gonna tell her the truth and hope she's so tired from being pregnant,

#411

⇓

I'm gonna tell her the truth and hope she's so tired from being pregnant,

#412

⇓

she doesn't have the strength to kick my ass.

#413

⇓

Wait, Turk. I have an idea.

#414

⇓

You have another idea, huh? I gotta tell you I'm done with your ideas.

#415

⇓

You have another idea, huh? I gotta tell you I'm done with your ideas.

#416

⇓

And not just now, but forever. OK? Are we clear on that?

#417

⇓

And not just now, but forever. OK? Are we clear on that?

#418

⇓

- It's a good 'un. - I'm listening.

#419

⇓

- It's a good 'un. - I'm listening.

#420

⇓

We need Carla to find out she's pregnant on her own and we need help.

#421

⇓

We need Carla to find out she's pregnant on her own and we need help.

#422

⇓

- Can we count on you? - Absolutely not.

#423

⇓

- No way. - Who's pregnant?

#424

⇓

- No way. - Who's pregnant?

#425

⇓

We go down, we're taking you.

#426

⇓

- What? - Why?

#427

⇓

- What? - Why?

#428

⇓

Would somebody please tell me who's pregnant?

#429

⇓

- Carla. - Another kid? My God!

#430

⇓

- Carla. - Another kid? My God!

#431

⇓

- How many does that make? - This is her first one.

#432

⇓

- If you say so, son. - You can't blackmail us.

#433

⇓

- If you say so, son. - You can't blackmail us.

#434

⇓

Really? Because I think you're both very close to Carla, aren't you?

#435

⇓

Really? Because I think you're both very close to Carla, aren't you?

#436

⇓

Really? Because I think you're both very close to Carla, aren't you?

#437

⇓

And yet you chose not to tell her she was pregnant.

#438

⇓

How would that go down for 'em?

#439

⇓

How would that go down for 'em?

#440

⇓

- Unpleasantly. - Unpleasantly.

#441

⇓

- Unpleasantly. - Unpleasantly.

#442

⇓

They've got you two by the short ones.

#443

⇓

It's true you didn't know anything,

#444

⇓

It's true you didn't know anything,

#445

⇓

but I'm willing to bet these guys would swear that you did.

#446

⇓

- Definitely. - I'd enjoy it.

#447

⇓

- Definitely. - I'd enjoy it.

#448

⇓

- Well played, Turkelton. - Thank you.

#449

⇓

OK. Listen up. Everyone in the hospital knows Carla's pregnant.

#450

⇓

OK. Listen up. Everyone in the hospital knows Carla's pregnant.

#451

⇓

OK. Listen up. Everyone in the hospital knows Carla's pregnant.

#452

⇓

But they don't know she doesn't know.

#453

⇓

We need her to find out on her own before anyone congratulates her. OK?

#454

⇓

We need her to find out on her own before anyone congratulates her. OK?

#455

⇓

Here's the plan. The three of us are gonna run interference.

#456

⇓

Here's the plan. The three of us are gonna run interference.

#457

⇓

Dr Cox, Dr Kelso, I need you to get her to take another pregnancy test.

#458

⇓

Dr Cox, Dr Kelso, I need you to get her to take another pregnancy test.

#459

⇓

This plan is foolproof.

#460

⇓

That's impossible. You two are involved.

#461

⇓

That's impossible. You two are involved.

#462

⇓

Yeah, we'll see about that.

#463

⇓

Yeah, we'll see about that.

#464

⇓

- You go left. - OK. That was right, buddy.

#465

⇓

I need to come with you.

#466

⇓

I need to come with you.

#467

⇓

Where's Carla?

#468

⇓

Where's Carla?

#469

⇓

She went up to the roof to get some air.

#470

⇓

- Follow her. Lock her up there. - You got it.

#471

⇓

- Follow her. Lock her up there. - You got it.

#472

⇓

Hello, Janitor hiding around the corner waiting to grab me.

#473

⇓

Hello, Janitor hiding around the corner waiting to grab me.

#474

⇓

How'd you know that was me?

#475

⇓

I'm holding a GPS warning device that goes off

#476

⇓

I'm holding a GPS warning device that goes off

#477

⇓

whenever you come within 100 meters of me.

#478

⇓

whenever you come within 100 meters of me.

#479

⇓

It's responding to a sensor in your stomach.

#480

⇓

- I knew that wasn't a penny. - You'll never get near me.

#481

⇓

- I knew that wasn't a penny. - You'll never get near me.

#482

⇓

- We'll see. - Yeah, we will see.

#483

⇓

- We'll see. - Yeah, we will see.

#484

⇓

- We're gonna see. - The only thing left to do? See.

#485

⇓

- You're gonna pay. - We'll see.

#486

⇓

- You're gonna pay. - We'll see.

#487

⇓

- No time. - OK, bye.

#488

⇓

Dr Cox, Dr Kelso. Look who I've got.

#489

⇓

Dr Cox, Dr Kelso. Look who I've got.

#490

⇓

Hey, Carla. You're glowing.

#491

⇓

Hey, Carla. You're glowing.

#492

⇓

Really?

#493

⇓

Have your breasts gotten bigger?

#494

⇓

Have your breasts gotten bigger?

#495

⇓

Whoa! Dr Kelso, that is inappropriate.

#496

⇓

Baby, that sounds like a compliment to me. Maybe you're just a little hormonal.

#497

⇓

Baby, that sounds like a compliment to me. Maybe you're just a little hormonal.

#498

⇓

Baby, that sounds like a compliment to me. Maybe you're just a little hormonal.

#499

⇓

Well done, Bob. A little direct,

#500

⇓

Well done, Bob. A little direct,

#501

⇓

but I definitely put the idea of pregnancy in her head.

#502

⇓

but I definitely put the idea of pregnancy in her head.

#503

⇓

Is that what we were doing? I was just making conversation.

#504

⇓

- I have been a little moody. - Yes, you have, baby.

#505

⇓

- I have been a little moody. - Yes, you have, baby.

#506

⇓

This morning I was nauseous,

#507

⇓

This morning I was nauseous,

#508

⇓

but I thought it was pizza rolls I had for breakfast. I like them.

#509

⇓

We can get them from now on.

#510

⇓

We can get them from now on.

#511

⇓

Still, Turk, do you think I should go home and take another pregnancy test?

#512

⇓

Still, Turk, do you think I should go home and take another pregnancy test?

#513

⇓

It's your call, baby.

#514

⇓

Hey! Somebody get me down from here!

#515

⇓

Hey! Somebody get me down from here!

#516

⇓

- What's she yelling? - I don't know.

#517

⇓

I'll have someone from Psych check her out.

#518

⇓

I'll have someone from Psych check her out.

#519

⇓

Dr Dorian, I got those batteries you asked for.

#520

⇓

I was a little anxious because it was time to change Mr Beeper's batteries.

#521

⇓

I was a little anxious because it was time to change Mr Beeper's batteries.

#522

⇓

All clear to the left, all clear to the right. You can do this.

#523

⇓

All clear to the left, all clear to the right. You can do this.

#524

⇓

He's 100 meters away and it's gonna take ten seconds to change batteries.

#525

⇓

He's 100 meters away and it's gonna take ten seconds to change batteries.

#526

⇓

That's not even a world-record pace.

#527

⇓

Ready... set... go!

#528

⇓

Ready... set... go!

#529

⇓

Time!

#530

⇓

Still got it.

#531

⇓

As I lay there, watching Nurse Roberts hammer-throw 23 pounds

#532

⇓

As I lay there, watching Nurse Roberts hammer-throw 23 pounds

#533

⇓

of high-end fruit my way, I could take solace in one thing...

#534

⇓

of high-end fruit my way, I could take solace in one thing...

#535

⇓

We're having a baby!

#536

⇓

We're having a baby!

#537

⇓

Carla and Turk were coming to tell me they were pregnant

#538

⇓

Carla and Turk were coming to tell me they were pregnant

#539

⇓

and Carla had to believe that I was truly surprised.

#540

⇓

and Carla had to believe that I was truly surprised.

#541

⇓

I was the linchpin of our plan.

#542

⇓

- Hey, J.D. - Showtime.

#543

⇓

- Hey, J.D. - Showtime.

#544

⇓

- We have such big news. - What's the scoop?

#545

⇓

- I would have no clue what it could be. - We're having a baby.

#546

⇓

- I would have no clue what it could be. - We're having a baby.

#547

⇓

Give them the ten minute emotional roller coaster ride

#548

⇓

Give them the ten minute emotional roller coaster ride

#549

⇓

that is the speech you've practiced all afternoon.

#550

⇓

that is the speech you've practiced all afternoon.

#551

⇓

Carla, when Turk first told me, I...

#552

⇓

What do you mean, when Turk first told you?

#553

⇓

What do you mean, when Turk first told you?

#554

⇓

Oh, boy.

#555

⇓

Oh, boy.

#556

⇓

We've known for a day.

#557

⇓

We've known for a day.

#558

⇓

The pregnancy test you took yesterday was positive.

#559

⇓

The pregnancy test you took yesterday was positive.

#560

⇓

Yeah. I wanted to have everybody at the hospital gather outside

#561

⇓

to surprise you...

#562

⇓

to surprise you...

#563

⇓

- What would you have thought of doves? - Not now.

#564

⇓

I just wanted to do something really memorable, you know. I messed that up.

#565

⇓

I just wanted to do something really memorable, you know. I messed that up.

#566

⇓

So everybody already knows?

#567

⇓

So everybody already knows?

#568

⇓

Then I witnessed one of those moments that let me know in my heart

#569

⇓

Then I witnessed one of those moments that let me know in my heart

#570

⇓

that these two would be together forever.

#571

⇓

that these two would be together forever.

#572

⇓

Who cares?

#573

⇓

We're having a baby.

#574

⇓

- We're having a baby. - Yeah, we are.

#575

⇓

- We're having a baby. - Yeah, we are.

#576

⇓

- A baby. - Yeah.

#577

⇓

- A baby. - Yeah.

#578

⇓

- A little you. - I know. With a lot of you.

#579

⇓

It's OK.

#580

⇓

It's OK.

#581

⇓

I already know.

#582

⇓

I'm pregnant!

#583

⇓

I'm pregnant!

#584

⇓

Edited by Access Innovation Media www.ai-media.tv

#585

⇓

Edited by Access Innovation Media www.ai-media.tv

#586

⇓