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» S05E23 — My Urologist
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Season 5, Episode 23 — My Urologist
Look, one of the reasons interns have so much trouble
#1
⇓
putting in chest tubes is because it is a violent procedure.
#2
⇓
You must not be scared, though.
#3
⇓
You must not be scared, though.
#4
⇓
You need to use force to get the tube between the ribs,
#5
⇓
then pop it through the pleura.
#6
⇓
then pop it through the pleura.
#7
⇓
Lis, you can do this.
#8
⇓
Uh, Dr Cox, I'm not so sure I'm comfortable with this.
#9
⇓
Uh, Dr Cox, I'm not so sure I'm comfortable with this.
#10
⇓
- You lost my teaching mannequin. - I don't know what happened.
#11
⇓
- You lost my teaching mannequin. - I don't know what happened.
#12
⇓
Hello, carpool lane.
#13
⇓
What movie do you want to see?
#14
⇓
Inserting chest tube.
#15
⇓
Lisa! God, he was joking!
#16
⇓
Yes, I was, Lisa.
#17
⇓
Yes, I was, Lisa.
#18
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Take the rest of the afternoon off and think about what you did.
#19
⇓
Take the rest of the afternoon off and think about what you did.
#20
⇓
This is a warning, people.
#21
⇓
Anybody else who hurts Keith
#22
⇓
is going to get the same treatment as Lisa.
#23
⇓
is going to get the same treatment as Lisa.
#24
⇓
Good day.
#25
⇓
Nothing like watching your boyfriend get humiliated daily.
#26
⇓
Nothing like watching your boyfriend get humiliated daily.
#27
⇓
Purple nurple!
#28
⇓
Purple nurple!
#29
⇓
Baby, look at this!
#30
⇓
I'm starting to look like a big fat pregnant lady.
#31
⇓
I'm starting to look like a big fat pregnant lady.
#32
⇓
No. You look like you let yourself go a little.
#33
⇓
OK, that came out wrong. But baby, it's OK.
#34
⇓
You're overreacting because your pregnancy hormones
#35
⇓
are taking over.
#36
⇓
It's fine. These past few days, your moods have changed like that.
#37
⇓
It's fine. These past few days, your moods have changed like that.
#38
⇓
That is not true!
#39
⇓
- That's cool. - I'm sorry.
#40
⇓
- That's cool. - I'm sorry.
#41
⇓
Let me kiss the owie. Kiss the owie.
#42
⇓
Baby. Oh, I want to do it right now.
#43
⇓
Baby. Oh, I want to do it right now.
#44
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You don't want to do it now. This'll pass.
#45
⇓
This is happening.
#46
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This is happening.
#47
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You're damn right this is happening.
#48
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My mom.
#49
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I can't believe she'll never meet her grandchild.
#50
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I can't believe she'll never meet her grandchild.
#51
⇓
Want to start with kissing, or get to the good stuff?
#52
⇓
Want to start with kissing, or get to the good stuff?
#53
⇓
What is wrong with you?
#54
⇓
What is wrong with you?
#55
⇓
When will you learn?
#56
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Turk talking to a new staff member.
#57
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Give her a special treat and say hello.
#58
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Give her a special treat and say hello.
#59
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Hello!
#60
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J.D., I'm sure you know Kim Briggs.
#61
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J.D., I'm sure you know Kim Briggs.
#62
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Uh, no, you big knucklehead, I don't.
#63
⇓
On behalf of everyone here at Sacred Heart,
#64
⇓
On behalf of everyone here at Sacred Heart,
#65
⇓
I'd like to say konichiwa.
#66
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I'd like to say konichiwa.
#67
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I've been here five years, big guy.
#68
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I know that, Kim.
#69
⇓
I know that, Kim.
#70
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It's a game. What's your name? Turk.
#71
⇓
What's that guy's name? I don't know.
#72
⇓
What's that guy's name? I don't know.
#73
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It's a patient. Looks like a Dave. Are you Dave? We don't know.
#74
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- Torture him about this. - Will do.
#75
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- Torture him about this. - Will do.
#76
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Peace out.
#77
⇓
How come I never noticed her before?
#78
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How come I never noticed her before?
#79
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Because she wears a wedding ring.
#80
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Because she wears a wedding ring.
#81
⇓
You don't notice women who wear wedding rings.
#82
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- Kim was here on your first day. - That's enough.
#83
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She was at Ben's funeral.
#84
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She was at Ben's funeral.
#85
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- Dude, she's been around. - Everybody was Kung Fu fighting.
#86
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- Dude, she's been around. - Everybody was Kung Fu fighting.
#87
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Because she wears a wedding ring, she's invisible to me?
#88
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- Yes. - Please, T. I'm not that shallow.
#89
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- Yes. - Please, T. I'm not that shallow.
#90
⇓
Oh, really?
#91
⇓
Will all women who are married in the area
#92
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Will all women who are married in the area
#93
⇓
please remove your wedding rings?
#94
⇓
Thank you.
#95
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Dr Feinberg?
#96
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Anastasia?
#97
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Gift shop girl.
#98
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Gift shop girl.
#99
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Hey, J.D.
#100
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I thought you died.
#101
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I thought you died.
#102
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No, I just got married.
#103
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But I sent your family flowers.
#104
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But I sent your family flowers.
#105
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I know. You bought them from me. It was kind of weird.
#106
⇓
- Gift shop girl! - What?
#107
⇓
- Gift shop girl! - What?
#108
⇓
- Stop that! - Sorry.
#109
⇓
- Stop that! - Sorry.
#110
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That's backwards. It's been bugging me for years.
#111
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That's backwards. It's been bugging me for years.
#112
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How are we doing, Mr Peters?
#113
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I had checked up on Kim. She got along with everybody.
#114
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I had checked up on Kim. She got along with everybody.
#115
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The guys liked her.
#116
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The guys liked her.
#117
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Cover up, sailors. Chick on deck. I need towels for the ladies' room.
#118
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Oh, I got a towel for you.
#119
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Oh, I got a towel for you.
#120
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Thanks, Todd.
#121
⇓
Thanks, Todd.
#122
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All the women liked her.
#123
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I just love that every woman knows how to do that.
#124
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I just love that every woman knows how to do that.
#125
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She even got along with the greasers.
#126
⇓
I know everyone gives you a hard time,
#127
⇓
but trust me, this look is coming back.
#128
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but trust me, this look is coming back.
#129
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I never got a synchronised snap from the greasers.
#130
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I never got a synchronised snap from the greasers.
#131
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Mr Peters, having a gal urologist might seem a little uncomfortable,
#132
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but the penis is just another excretory organ,
#133
⇓
so let's take the stigma off of it.
#134
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Now, this is the length of the average penis.
#135
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Now, this is the length of the average penis.
#136
⇓
What?
#137
⇓
What?
#138
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That seems about right.
#139
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Good for you. I was just messing with Dr Dorian over there.
#140
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Good for you. I was just messing with Dr Dorian over there.
#141
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You know what? I'm not talking to any of you guys.
#142
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You know what? I'm not talking to any of you guys.
#143
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I know, right?
#144
⇓
I know, right?
#145
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You lie! Oh, my God!
#146
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You lie! Oh, my God!
#147
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Keith, I know we have plans tonight, but I am way too tired.
#148
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Keith, I know we have plans tonight, but I am way too tired.
#149
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No problem. I'll call you tomorrow.
#150
⇓
No problem. I'll call you tomorrow.
#151
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Hey, girls. Listen, Perry got uppity with me for,
#152
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Hey, girls. Listen, Perry got uppity with me for,
#153
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and I quote, "spending $20,000 we don't have on shoes,"
#154
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so to get back at him, I'm treating everyone to drinks.
#155
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so to get back at him, I'm treating everyone to drinks.
#156
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- I'll go. - You told Keith you were too tired.
#157
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- I'll go. - You told Keith you were too tired.
#158
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I think Keith and I might be done.
#159
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I think Keith and I might be done.
#160
⇓
What?
#161
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Dorian, can I borrow that pencil for a second?
#162
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Dorian, can I borrow that pencil for a second?
#163
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Just one second? Thank you.
#164
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Oh, no. I snapped the pencil.
#165
⇓
Oh, no. I snapped the pencil.
#166
⇓
- It's from my stand-up act. - Where do you perform?
#167
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- It's from my stand-up act. - Where do you perform?
#168
⇓
I'm at the Giggle Pit every Monday at sunup.
#169
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I'll have to come by sometime.
#170
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I'll have to come by sometime.
#171
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Do it, man.
#172
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Wait, I'm mad at you. You stole my video camera
#173
⇓
Wait, I'm mad at you. You stole my video camera
#174
⇓
with the scenes from Dr Acula, the movie I'm making.
#175
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Why do you think I stole it?
#176
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I was surfing the hospital's Web site
#177
⇓
and I saw that someone posted
#178
⇓
and I saw that someone posted
#179
⇓
the "Dr Acula delivers a baby then eats it" scene.
#180
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Someone with the screen name "Rotinaj."
#181
⇓
"Rotinaj" is just "Janitor" spelled backwards, Rotinaj.
#182
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"Rotinaj" is just "Janitor" spelled backwards, Rotinaj.
#183
⇓
Morning, Dr Rotinaj.
#184
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Morning, Dr Rotinaj.
#185
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Good morning, Mr Clean-Up-Man.
#186
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Mr Peters, I looked at your CT scan and I recommend we don't do surgery.
#187
⇓
Great.
#188
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This is goodbye, but I leave you in the capable hands
#189
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This is goodbye, but I leave you in the capable hands
#190
⇓
of Dr John D. Dorian.
#191
⇓
You take care.
#192
⇓
I gave you a new middle initial. It reassures patients.
#193
⇓
I gave you a new middle initial. It reassures patients.
#194
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The "D" stands for "Dallas".
#195
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I told Mr Peters that's where I lost my virginity.
#196
⇓
I told Mr Peters that's where I lost my virginity.
#197
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Don't know how we got down that path.
#198
⇓
Don't know how we got down that path.
#199
⇓
Something about that old man makes me open up.
#200
⇓
I hope you like your new initial.
#201
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I hope you like your new initial.
#202
⇓
I don't mind it a turtle's wink.
#203
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You only pepper your conversation with cute animal imagery
#204
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You only pepper your conversation with cute animal imagery
#205
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if you're smitten.
#206
⇓
- Could you lend me a pen? - Quick as a porcupine's hiccup.
#207
⇓
- Could you lend me a pen? - Quick as a porcupine's hiccup.
#208
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All right, there's only one problem with this.
#209
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OK, see ya, J.D.
#210
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Kim, wait.
#211
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Kim, wait.
#212
⇓
Unfortunately, there's no way I can make you mine,
#213
⇓
Unfortunately, there's no way I can make you mine,
#214
⇓
unless I make you mine...
#215
⇓
unless I make you mine...
#216
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..for eternity.
#217
⇓
Dr Acula, don't stop!
#218
⇓
Vampires like it windy.
#219
⇓
Why are you breaking up with Keith?
#220
⇓
Why are you breaking up with Keith?
#221
⇓
Look, Keith is sweet,
#222
⇓
but after watching him get walked on again,
#223
⇓
but after watching him get walked on again,
#224
⇓
I feel like I need a stronger man in my life.
#225
⇓
I want what you have,
#226
⇓
I want what you have,
#227
⇓
someone to stand up for me when I need it, you know?
#228
⇓
Someone as confident as Turk
#229
⇓
Someone as confident as Turk
#230
⇓
or as brave as Dr Cox or as...
#231
⇓
I'm sorry, I don't know your husband.
#232
⇓
What are some of his good qualities?
#233
⇓
What are some of his good qualities?
#234
⇓
Well, he was a roadie for Jimi Hendrix, and when it rains,
#235
⇓
Well, he was a roadie for Jimi Hendrix, and when it rains,
#236
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he carries me to the car.
#237
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And you guys have been together, what, 60 years?
#238
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And you guys have been together, what, 60 years?
#239
⇓
I'm 48, and I'm done here.
#240
⇓
I'm 48, and I'm done here.
#241
⇓
My bad. Yeah.
#242
⇓
My bad. Yeah.
#243
⇓
I don't want Keith to go.
#244
⇓
Elliot, I don't want Keith to go!
#245
⇓
Elliot, I don't want Keith to go!
#246
⇓
There, there.
#247
⇓
What? "I'm pregnant. I'm crying. I'm laughing." Enough already!
#248
⇓
What? "I'm pregnant. I'm crying. I'm laughing." Enough already!
#249
⇓
What? "I'm pregnant. I'm crying. I'm laughing." Enough already!
#250
⇓
It's boring.
#251
⇓
Listen up, nametags.
#252
⇓
Listen up, nametags.
#253
⇓
I need to wire some cash to my son so he can make bail.
#254
⇓
Apparently, the musical he was producing
#255
⇓
Apparently, the musical he was producing
#256
⇓
was just a front for a crystal meth lab.
#257
⇓
was just a front for a crystal meth lab.
#258
⇓
Here's the kicker: He fled to Toronto.
#259
⇓
The Mounties are involved.
#260
⇓
The Mounties are involved.
#261
⇓
Anyhoo, I need somebody to zip out to my house
#262
⇓
and grab $400.
#263
⇓
and grab $400.
#264
⇓
I'll do it.
#265
⇓
I shouldn't be mopping here anyway. This is a rug.
#266
⇓
I shouldn't be mopping here anyway. This is a rug.
#267
⇓
Don't let him in your house, sir.
#268
⇓
Don't let him in your house, sir.
#269
⇓
He'll steal everything you've got like he stole my camera.
#270
⇓
He'll steal everything you've got like he stole my camera.
#271
⇓
Know the difference between you and me?
#272
⇓
Your melon-sized prostate, sir?
#273
⇓
Your melon-sized prostate, sir?
#274
⇓
I will never fear this man.
#275
⇓
I will never fear this man.
#276
⇓
You think I'm afraid of you, chief?
#277
⇓
No, sir, I do not.
#278
⇓
No, sir, I do not.
#279
⇓
Look, I keep my extra cash in a pickle jar
#280
⇓
on the top shelf over the sink.
#281
⇓
on the top shelf over the sink.
#282
⇓
Enid wants that jar so bad she can taste it.
#283
⇓
Oh, right.
#284
⇓
You don't remember she's paralyzed
#285
⇓
You don't remember she's paralyzed
#286
⇓
and can't stand out of her wheelchair.
#287
⇓
That's why you're not laughing.
#288
⇓
No, Bob.
#289
⇓
No, Bob.
#290
⇓
We're not laughing because we're all horrified.
#291
⇓
Well, it tickles me.
#292
⇓
OK, honey, I know Elliot upset you with this whole Keith thing,
#293
⇓
OK, honey, I know Elliot upset you with this whole Keith thing,
#294
⇓
but listen,
#295
⇓
we're all gonna be extra, extra sensitive
#296
⇓
we're all gonna be extra, extra sensitive
#297
⇓
so you don't get riled up, OK?
#298
⇓
I'm wearing red. Should I not be wearing red?
#299
⇓
I'm wearing red. Should I not be wearing red?
#300
⇓
She's pregnant, she's not a bull.
#301
⇓
She's pregnant, she's not a bull.
#302
⇓
I know you think I'm just being crazy, but Elliot,
#303
⇓
you should not give up on Keith.
#304
⇓
you should not give up on Keith.
#305
⇓
You say he's not strong enough because he gets stepped on at work.
#306
⇓
You say he's not strong enough because he gets stepped on at work.
#307
⇓
That's what it's like.
#308
⇓
You're doing what we do
#309
⇓
You're doing what we do
#310
⇓
when we get into a serious relationship,
#311
⇓
freaking out and trying to poke holes in it.
#312
⇓
freaking out and trying to poke holes in it.
#313
⇓
Remember when I started dating Turk and I wanted to bail on him
#314
⇓
Remember when I started dating Turk and I wanted to bail on him
#315
⇓
because he cried at the end of sex?
#316
⇓
- Baby! - Relax, Brown Bear.
#317
⇓
- Baby! - Relax, Brown Bear.
#318
⇓
There's no shame in cry-maxing.
#319
⇓
And you know how hard single life can be. Just ask Kim.
#320
⇓
And you know how hard single life can be. Just ask Kim.
#321
⇓
Wait. Kim's single?
#322
⇓
Wait. Kim's single?
#323
⇓
She's been divorced for over a year.
#324
⇓
She wears the ring at the hospital so she doesn't get hit on.
#325
⇓
She wears the ring at the hospital so she doesn't get hit on.
#326
⇓
Turk, keys!
#327
⇓
Yahtzee!
#328
⇓
Yahtzee!
#329
⇓
Hey, girl. What are you doing? Want to get some coffee later?
#330
⇓
Hey, girl. What are you doing? Want to get some coffee later?
#331
⇓
And then, the ultimate Cox-block.
#332
⇓
And then, the ultimate Cox-block.
#333
⇓
Why isn't Mr Peters in there getting surgery?
#334
⇓
I decided against it.
#335
⇓
I decided against it.
#336
⇓
She thought it would be best if I treated him medically.
#337
⇓
She thought it would be best if I treated him medically.
#338
⇓
First of all, Newbie, nobody's ever thought that, ever.
#339
⇓
First of all, Newbie, nobody's ever thought that, ever.
#340
⇓
Secondly, she's a cutter.
#341
⇓
When is the last time you met a cutter
#342
⇓
When is the last time you met a cutter
#343
⇓
who didn't want to cut?
#344
⇓
Laverne, you've been here 40 years now.
#345
⇓
Laverne, you've been here 40 years now.
#346
⇓
You ever heard of such a thing?
#347
⇓
I'm gonna kill somebody.
#348
⇓
I'm gonna kill somebody.
#349
⇓
I guess we all get mad when people say things
#350
⇓
we don't want to hear.
#351
⇓
we don't want to hear.
#352
⇓
Elliot!
#353
⇓
You can't leave until you promise me you'll think about it with Keith.
#354
⇓
You can't leave until you promise me you'll think about it with Keith.
#355
⇓
Oh, my God, Carla! Will you please just butt out of this one?
#356
⇓
Oh, my God, Carla! Will you please just butt out of this one?
#357
⇓
Especially when things feel a bit fishy.
#358
⇓
- Here's your cash. - Oh, thanks.
#359
⇓
- Here's your cash. - Oh, thanks.
#360
⇓
Hey, is that a new coat?
#361
⇓
Yeah. Just picked it up.
#362
⇓
Yeah. Just picked it up.
#363
⇓
Where did you get the money to buy it?
#364
⇓
I don't think that's any business of yours.
#365
⇓
I don't think that's any business of yours.
#366
⇓
Still, it's always good to hear the truth.
#367
⇓
Still, it's always good to hear the truth.
#368
⇓
Surgery is really the only thing that has a shot
#369
⇓
Surgery is really the only thing that has a shot
#370
⇓
at curing this guy,
#371
⇓
and the reason that she's not going to do it
#372
⇓
and the reason that she's not going to do it
#373
⇓
is he's older and has heart issues, which makes him high risk.
#374
⇓
is he's older and has heart issues, which makes him high risk.
#375
⇓
And if he were to drop dead on her operating table, well,
#376
⇓
that would make her surgery stats go down.
#377
⇓
And that wouldn't look very good on a young doctor's resume,
#378
⇓
And that wouldn't look very good on a young doctor's resume,
#379
⇓
would it?
#380
⇓
Even if it means losing respect for someone you might like.
#381
⇓
Even if it means losing respect for someone you might like.
#382
⇓
What can I say? You got me.
#383
⇓
What can I say? You got me.
#384
⇓
Damn.
#385
⇓
Damn.
#386
⇓
Hold on. Dr Turk,
#387
⇓
I covered your gastric-bypass patient last night.
#388
⇓
I covered your gastric-bypass patient last night.
#389
⇓
He left a message for you.
#390
⇓
- What'd he say? - You are square.
#391
⇓
- What'd he say? - You are square.
#392
⇓
Stupid greasers.
#393
⇓
Oh, here comes Kim. She had all night to think.
#394
⇓
Oh, here comes Kim. She had all night to think.
#395
⇓
She'll probably be in a shame spiral. Let's enjoy it.
#396
⇓
She'll probably be in a shame spiral. Let's enjoy it.
#397
⇓
- Oh, hey, fellas, how you living? - Large!
#398
⇓
- Oh, hey, fellas, how you living? - Large!
#399
⇓
What!
#400
⇓
What, was I not supposed to answer?
#401
⇓
I wasn't the only one having relationship problems.
#402
⇓
I wasn't the only one having relationship problems.
#403
⇓
Sorry about the way I left last night.
#404
⇓
Sorry about the way I left last night.
#405
⇓
We're OK, right?
#406
⇓
Until you receive further notice, consider us not speaking.
#407
⇓
Until you receive further notice, consider us not speaking.
#408
⇓
I know you took my money to buy that ridiculous coat.
#409
⇓
I know you took my money to buy that ridiculous coat.
#410
⇓
I bet you can't prove it.
#411
⇓
I bet you can't prove it.
#412
⇓
Enid, you are my eyewitness.
#413
⇓
Did he take more than $400?
#414
⇓
Did he take more than $400?
#415
⇓
Enid, is that a new pantsuit?
#416
⇓
Enid, is that a new pantsuit?
#417
⇓
You think you're pretty smart, don't you?
#418
⇓
You think you're pretty smart, don't you?
#419
⇓
All I think is that leather never goes out of style,
#420
⇓
All I think is that leather never goes out of style,
#421
⇓
and if you keep money in a pickle jar,
#422
⇓
you should know how much is there,
#423
⇓
you should know how much is there,
#424
⇓
and it won't hurt to buy your invalid wife something nice
#425
⇓
so she can feel pretty.
#426
⇓
so she can feel pretty.
#427
⇓
These are just general thoughts about life, nothing specific to you.
#428
⇓
That was nice. Thank you.
#429
⇓
That wasn't me.
#430
⇓
- Hey, dudes. - Don't "hey, dudes" us.
#431
⇓
- Hey, dudes. - Don't "hey, dudes" us.
#432
⇓
You know what bothers me?
#433
⇓
Non-threatening colloquial greetings?
#434
⇓
Non-threatening colloquial greetings?
#435
⇓
It bothers me that a doctor won't help a patient
#436
⇓
so she could keep her stats up.
#437
⇓
so she could keep her stats up.
#438
⇓
- Yeah! - Look, J.D.
#439
⇓
Surgery's competitive. We do what we must to get ahead.
#440
⇓
Surgery's competitive. We do what we must to get ahead.
#441
⇓
My best friend's a surgeon,
#442
⇓
and he'd never pass on risky surgery to keep his stats up.
#443
⇓
and he'd never pass on risky surgery to keep his stats up.
#444
⇓
Actually, I have done that.
#445
⇓
Actually, I have done that.
#446
⇓
Everyone has.
#447
⇓
Oh, my God!
#448
⇓
Oh, my God!
#449
⇓
Out of here! Dr Cox, please weigh in.
#450
⇓
Well, it's no secret how I feel about surgeons. I hate them.
#451
⇓
Well, it's no secret how I feel about surgeons. I hate them.
#452
⇓
I'd liken them to rocks, but that would insult rocks
#453
⇓
I'd liken them to rocks, but that would insult rocks
#454
⇓
because, you see, at least rocks are useful to society.
#455
⇓
because, you see, at least rocks are useful to society.
#456
⇓
We build bridges, throw them at guys
#457
⇓
wearing phones clipped to their heads.
#458
⇓
wearing phones clipped to their heads.
#459
⇓
It's a phone. You can't do this?
#460
⇓
It's a phone. You can't do this?
#461
⇓
However...
#462
⇓
Now, back to the crux of the matter.
#463
⇓
Now, back to the crux of the matter.
#464
⇓
Hit her, Per!
#465
⇓
However, it is not Dr Briggs' fault that she works in a broken system.
#466
⇓
However, it is not Dr Briggs' fault that she works in a broken system.
#467
⇓
Top hospitals are only interested in hiring surgeons
#468
⇓
who they think are flawless.
#469
⇓
who they think are flawless.
#470
⇓
That's not the answer you thought you'd hear,
#471
⇓
but as always, I don't care.
#472
⇓
but as always, I don't care.
#473
⇓
Thank God he didn't see this.
#474
⇓
Yeah, Mom, I was listening the whole time.
#475
⇓
I just couldn't talk.
#476
⇓
Looks like somebody took their new titanium eight iron
#477
⇓
with a leather grip and went to town on your van.
#478
⇓
Well done, sir.
#479
⇓
Well done, sir.
#480
⇓
What? You think I did it?
#481
⇓
Too bad you can't prove it.
#482
⇓
Too bad you can't prove it.
#483
⇓
Really?
#484
⇓
I think I need to take more...
#485
⇓
I think I need to take more...
#486
⇓
..blood.
#487
⇓
What the hell is this?
#488
⇓
What the hell is this?
#489
⇓
It's Dorian's camera. This must be a scene from Dr Acula.
#490
⇓
You ain't taking no more blood from my ho-slapping hand.
#491
⇓
You ain't taking no more blood from my ho-slapping hand.
#492
⇓
I will pimp slap you!
#493
⇓
This feels really racist, J.D.
#494
⇓
This feels really racist, J.D.
#495
⇓
- Why can't I be a vampire? - Because it's my movie!
#496
⇓
- Why can't I be a vampire? - Because it's my movie!
#497
⇓
Now, let's take it from the top
#498
⇓
and I'm not gonna ask you again, blacker!
#499
⇓
and I'm not gonna ask you again, blacker!
#500
⇓
- Blacker. - Yes, please.
#501
⇓
Blacker.
#502
⇓
Now comes the good part.
#503
⇓
Prove that!
#504
⇓
Prove that!
#505
⇓
And that! And that!
#506
⇓
And that! And that!
#507
⇓
And that!
#508
⇓
And that! Yeah!
#509
⇓
And that! Yeah!
#510
⇓
What do you want?
#511
⇓
What do you want?
#512
⇓
So, hey, I thought you might be hungry.
#513
⇓
So, hey, I thought you might be hungry.
#514
⇓
Enjoyed the pancakes I left on the computer?
#515
⇓
No, but I enjoyed the 3,000 ants crawling on my keyboard.
#516
⇓
No, but I enjoyed the 3,000 ants crawling on my keyboard.
#517
⇓
There's two doing it on the F button.
#518
⇓
There's two doing it on the F button.
#519
⇓
I could be wrong, but it looks like two girls.
#520
⇓
I could be wrong, but it looks like two girls.
#521
⇓
- What do you want, Elliot? - I wanted to apologise.
#522
⇓
- What do you want, Elliot? - I wanted to apologise.
#523
⇓
- Well, save it. - Look, Carla, I...
#524
⇓
You must be bored with this friendship
#525
⇓
You must be bored with this friendship
#526
⇓
when all you do is take, take, take.
#527
⇓
The most embarrassing thing is you don't realise you do it.
#528
⇓
The most embarrassing thing is you don't realise you do it.
#529
⇓
Because, at the end of the day,
#530
⇓
Because, at the end of the day,
#531
⇓
you're nothing but a spoiled, selfish,
#532
⇓
neurotic girl from Connecticut
#533
⇓
neurotic girl from Connecticut
#534
⇓
who has no idea how to...
#535
⇓
That's enough!
#536
⇓
That's enough!
#537
⇓
I don't know what you are fighting about,
#538
⇓
but it doesn't matter.
#539
⇓
No one's allowed to be that mean to my girl,
#540
⇓
No one's allowed to be that mean to my girl,
#541
⇓
especially when she's apologising.
#542
⇓
- Are we clear? - Nobody speaks to Carla like that.
#543
⇓
- Are we clear? - Nobody speaks to Carla like that.
#544
⇓
It was cool getting to know you, man.
#545
⇓
The irony was Keith was yelling at the woman
#546
⇓
who was trying to save his relationship.
#547
⇓
who was trying to save his relationship.
#548
⇓
I'm sorry, Elliot.
#549
⇓
And even more ironic was that it looked like she had.
#550
⇓
And even more ironic was that it looked like she had.
#551
⇓
- Thanks for standing up for me. - Yeah, totally.
#552
⇓
- Thanks for standing up for me. - Yeah, totally.
#553
⇓
I think Elliot finally seeing who Keith really was
#554
⇓
made me understand why I was so upset with Kim.
#555
⇓
made me understand why I was so upset with Kim.
#556
⇓
Look who's happy again.
#557
⇓
- Yeah, well, it's just... - J.D., one sec.
#558
⇓
- Yeah, well, it's just... - J.D., one sec.
#559
⇓
I'm on the phone with my mom. She just got her RV fixed.
#560
⇓
I'm on the phone with my mom. She just got her RV fixed.
#561
⇓
Mom, I gotta go. You can call me from the road.
#562
⇓
My mom loves the road.
#563
⇓
I finally figured out what bothers me so much about you.
#564
⇓
I finally figured out what bothers me so much about you.
#565
⇓
Well, lay it on me, studly.
#566
⇓
It's the way you're so concerned about protecting yourself.
#567
⇓
It's the way you're so concerned about protecting yourself.
#568
⇓
It's the way you're so concerned about protecting yourself.
#569
⇓
I mean, no one in this entire hospital
#570
⇓
has a bad thing to say about you,
#571
⇓
has a bad thing to say about you,
#572
⇓
and I'm guessing that's because
#573
⇓
you're careful not to rub anyone the wrong way.
#574
⇓
you're careful not to rub anyone the wrong way.
#575
⇓
And you still wear your wedding ring.
#576
⇓
And you still wear your wedding ring.
#577
⇓
That prevents any guy from getting anywhere near you.
#578
⇓
You wouldn't operate on Mr Peters,
#579
⇓
You wouldn't operate on Mr Peters,
#580
⇓
and we both know how you're protecting yourself there.
#581
⇓
I don't know. I guess, in the grand scheme of things,
#582
⇓
it's not a big deal.
#583
⇓
it's not a big deal.
#584
⇓
I was a little disappointed to find out
#585
⇓
who you turned out to be.
#586
⇓
who you turned out to be.
#587
⇓
I'll see you around, Kim.
#588
⇓
I'll see you around, Kim.
#589
⇓
See you.
#590
⇓
See you.
#591
⇓
- I don't want to do this. - No problem.
#592
⇓
I'll give the tape to the police.
#593
⇓
I'll give the tape to the police.
#594
⇓
Ladies and gentleman, this is your chief of medicine,
#595
⇓
Ladies and gentleman, this is your chief of medicine,
#596
⇓
Bob Kelso.
#597
⇓
"I feel compelled to tell you that I do,
#598
⇓
"I feel compelled to tell you that I do,
#599
⇓
in fact, fear the Janitor.
#600
⇓
Honestly, is there anyone else with such a brilliant mind?"
#601
⇓
Honestly, is there anyone else with such a brilliant mind?"
#602
⇓
You planned this, didn't you?
#603
⇓
The whole being mean thing, so that Keith would stand up for me.
#604
⇓
The whole being mean thing, so that Keith would stand up for me.
#605
⇓
Oh, thanks.
#606
⇓
- You didn't plan a damn thing, did you?
#607
⇓
- You didn't plan a damn thing, did you?
#608
⇓
- No, I snapped like a twig.
#609
⇓
Please don't tell her.
#610
⇓
Please don't tell her.
#611
⇓
Anyway, I guess people can always surprise you.
#612
⇓
Who's Dr Briggs operating on?
#613
⇓
Your patient, Mr Peters.
#614
⇓
"So please join me in basking
#615
⇓
in the glow of the Janitor's awesome...
#616
⇓
in the glow of the Janitor's awesome...
#617
⇓
..this isn't a word.
#618
⇓
..this isn't a word.
#619
⇓
Read it.
#620
⇓
"Fearitude." Good night.
#621
⇓
"Fearitude." Good night.
#622
⇓
And good luck. I loved that movie.
#623
⇓
I saw you did that surgery on Mr Peters.
#624
⇓
Did you decide it was the right thing to do?
#625
⇓
Did you decide it was the right thing to do?
#626
⇓
No, actually, it was a stupid career risk.
#627
⇓
No, actually, it was a stupid career risk.
#628
⇓
Then why'd you do it?
#629
⇓
Because for some reason, I find myself
#630
⇓
Because for some reason, I find myself
#631
⇓
really caring about what you think of me.
#632
⇓
Cool.
#633
⇓
Cool.
#634
⇓
Captions edited by Ai-Media ai-media.tv
#635
⇓
Captions edited by Ai-Media ai-media.tv
#636
⇓
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