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Home » Scrubs » S05E13 — My Five Stages

Scrubs

Season 5, Episode 13 — My Five Stages

TMDB episode metadata

Show: Scrubs

Episode title: My Five Stages

Air date: March 07, 2006

Director: Jay Alaimo

Top billed cast: Zach Braff, Donald Faison, John C. McGinley, Sarah Chalke, Judy Reyes, Ken Jenkins

J.D. and Dr. Cox go through the five stages of grief with their favorite patient, who is declining in health. Carla forces Turk to go on a string of double dates, including Elliot and her booty call Keith. Elsewhere, Dr. Kelso hits Ted with his car, thus Ted finally has the upper hand with a potential lawsuit.

Source: TMDB

↓

Lately, Elliot and her booty call, Keith, loved playing games.

booty elliot games keith lately loved playing playing-games

↓

Lately, Elliot and her booty call, Keith, loved playing games.

booty elliot games keith lately loved playing playing-games

↓

Tonight was "The Orchard Owner and the Mexican Apple Thief."

apple apple-thief mexican mexican-apple mexican-apple-thief orchard owner thief tonight

↓

Tonight was "The Orchard Owner and the Mexican Apple Thief."

apple apple-thief mexican mexican-apple mexican-apple-thief orchard owner thief tonight

↓

Confess, Manuel! Confess that you stole these apples.

apples confess stole

↓

I was at the dance with the other pickers.

dance pickers

↓

Liar!

liar

↓

Liar!

liar

↓

Frankly, the whole thing disgusted me.

disgusted frankly whole

↓

Frankly, the whole thing disgusted me.

disgusted frankly whole

↓

You saw him do it, didn't you, Paco?

↓

Mostly because they never let me speak.

mostly speak

↓

Mostly because they never let me speak.

mostly speak

↓

He hid them in his pantalones.

↓

He hid them in his pantalones.

↓

He loves these apples.

apples loves

↓

He makes apples pie and apples juice with them.

apples juice makes

↓

He makes apples pie and apples juice with them.

apples juice makes

↓

You can't talk. Lost your tongue in that cider press accident.

accident cider lost press tongue

↓

You can't talk. Lost your tongue in that cider press accident.

accident cider lost press tongue

↓

Now, back to the pickers' bunkhouse!

pickers

↓

I hate the pickers' bunkhouse.

hate pickers

↓

And I hate Keith. Which begs the question:

begs hate keith question

↓

And I hate Keith. Which begs the question:

begs hate keith question

↓

Why do I insist on being a part of their foreplay?

foreplay insist part

↓

Why do I insist on being a part of their foreplay?

foreplay insist part

↓

I needed a distraction because last week,

distraction needed week

↓

I needed a distraction because last week,

distraction needed week

↓

we all thought Mrs Wilk was going home.

home wilk

↓

But she got an infection, and despite our best efforts,

best best-efforts despite efforts infection

↓

But she got an infection, and despite our best efforts,

best best-efforts despite efforts infection

↓

she was now gonna die.

↓

To make her happy, we decided to take her to the beach.

beach decided happy

↓

To make her happy, we decided to take her to the beach.

beach decided happy

↓

I'm gonna miss the feel of sand between my toes.

miss sand toes

↓

I'm gonna miss the feel of sand between my toes.

miss sand toes

↓

Still, she was sick, so we couldn't go far.

sick

↓

Still, she was sick, so we couldn't go far.

sick

↓

Want me to bury you?

bury

↓

Want me to bury you?

bury

↓

Shut up and move the sunbrella, will you? I'm freckling.

↓

Shut up and move the sunbrella, will you? I'm freckling.

↓

I thought we had more sand.

sand

↓

Now what?

↓

OK, people, it's time for the $50,000 cash call.

cash

↓

Today's lucky listener, Ted Buckland!

buckland listener lucky todays

↓

Today's lucky listener, Ted Buckland!

buckland listener lucky todays

↓

What?

↓

Would you love a virgin daiquiri?

daiquiri love virgin virgin-daiquiri

↓

Would you love a virgin daiquiri?

daiquiri love virgin virgin-daiquiri

↓

It's a normal daiquiri. I just let him give it to you.

daiquiri normal

↓

It's a normal daiquiri. I just let him give it to you.

daiquiri normal

↓

- Thanks. - Hilarious.

hilarious thanks

↓

Cheers.

cheers

↓

Cheers.

cheers

↓

I've never really been afraid of death.

afraid death

↓

I've never really been afraid of death.

afraid death

↓

I used it as a motivator.

motivator used

↓

When you know there's an end, it forces you to live.

forces live

↓

When you know there's an end, it forces you to live.

forces live

↓

It forced me in the eighth grade to ask Peter Bucherelli

eighth eighth-grade forced grade peter

↓

It forced me in the eighth grade to ask Peter Bucherelli

eighth eighth-grade forced grade peter

↓

to take me to the sock hop.

sock

↓

It made me dare to travel the world. It made me who I am.

dare travel world

↓

It made me dare to travel the world. It made me who I am.

dare travel world

↓

Still, now that I'm actually staring it in the eye, I...

staring

↓

Still, now that I'm actually staring it in the eye, I...

staring

↓

Why am I so scared?

scared

↓

Sometimes, life sucks.

life life-sucks sometimes sucks

↓

For everyone.

↓

Sorry, Teddy! Apparently you don't need the money!

apparently money teddy

↓

No!

↓

No!

↓

Why?

↓

(Theme song)

song theme theme-song

↓

(Theme song)

song theme theme-song

↓

Mrs Wilk decided to call the hospital grief counsellor.

counsellor decided grief hospital wilk

↓

Mrs Wilk decided to call the hospital grief counsellor.

counsellor decided grief hospital wilk

↓

He had a certain frankness about death.

certain death

↓

Which one of you is gonna kick it? I want to guess.

kick

↓

Which one of you is gonna kick it? I want to guess.

kick

↓

I'm thinking it's either you or you.

thinking

↓

I'm thinking it's either you or you.

thinking

↓

You 'cause you're hooked up to machines.

hooked machines

↓

Or you... you have that look of someone who dies young.

dies young

↓

Or you... you have that look of someone who dies young.

dies young

↓

I'm kidding.

kidding

↓

You'll live forever. Or not. What do I know? I'm not psychic.

forever live live-forever psychic

↓

You'll live forever. Or not. What do I know? I'm not psychic.

forever live live-forever psychic

↓

We did not like him.

↓

- I think he's funny. - She's delirious.

delirious funny

↓

- I think he's funny. - She's delirious.

delirious funny

↓

Mrs Wilk, I'm Dr Hedrick. It sounds cliched, but you're gonna go through

hedrick sounds wilk

↓

Mrs Wilk, I'm Dr Hedrick. It sounds cliched, but you're gonna go through

hedrick sounds wilk

↓

"The Five Stages of Grief," which are:

five five-stages grief stages

↓

"The Five Stages of Grief," which are:

five five-stages grief stages

↓

Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and finally, acceptance.

acceptance anger anger-bargaining bargaining denial depression finally

↓

Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and finally, acceptance.

acceptance anger anger-bargaining bargaining denial depression finally

↓

I assume you two have already entered into a conversation

assume conversation entered

↓

I assume you two have already entered into a conversation

assume conversation entered

↓

with Mrs Wilk about what dying is gonna be like.

dying wilk

↓

with Mrs Wilk about what dying is gonna be like.

dying wilk

↓

We were right before you came in.

↓

I'm sorry. Then please, continue.

continue

↓

I'm sorry. Then please, continue.

continue

↓

All right, we will. Newbie... go.

newbie

↓

All right, we will. Newbie... go.

newbie

↓

Oh, OK. Well, well, yeah...

↓

Oh, OK. Well, well, yeah...

↓

OK, death is like a journey.

death journey

↓

OK, death is like a journey.

death journey

↓

A journey in a boat.

boat journey

↓

And then this giant light

giant light

↓

And then this giant light

giant light

↓

shines down on your "boat"

boat shines

↓

shines down on your "boat"

boat shines

↓

and carries you up to the heavens.

carries heavens

↓

and carries you up to the heavens.

carries heavens

↓

That was the ending to Cocoon.

cocoon ending

↓

That was the ending to Cocoon.

cocoon ending

↓

Take it away, Coxie.

coxie

↓

Keith, keep moving. No talking.

keith moving

↓

Keith, keep moving. No talking.

keith moving

↓

Hey, where's my wave, you little piece of meat?

meat piece wave

↓

Hey, where's my wave, you little piece of meat?

meat piece wave

↓

Elliot, the four of us should go out to dinner.

dinner elliot four

↓

Elliot, the four of us should go out to dinner.

dinner elliot four

↓

Why are you so obsessed about going out with other couples?

couples obsessed

↓

Why are you so obsessed about going out with other couples?

couples obsessed

↓

Didn't you learn your lesson last week with our neighbours?

learn lesson neighbours week

↓

Didn't you learn your lesson last week with our neighbours?

learn lesson neighbours week

↓

Squirrel chili. Who knew?

chili squirrel

↓

Squirrel chili. Who knew?

chili squirrel

↓

It's really good.

↓

- I wanna go home. - Eat your soup.

home soup

↓

- I wanna go home. - Eat your soup.

home soup

↓

No.

↓

They're not our neighbours. They live in woods behind our apartment.

apartment behind live neighbours woods

↓

They're not our neighbours. They live in woods behind our apartment.

apartment behind live neighbours woods

↓

We'd be having brunch with them Sunday

brunch having sunday

↓

We'd be having brunch with them Sunday

brunch having sunday

↓

if you could have choked down the tail.

choked tail

↓

I don't know. Keith is a booty call.

booty keith

↓

I don't know. Keith is a booty call.

booty keith

↓

I make it a point not to see him before midnight.

midnight point

↓

Oh, good, the piles are getting smaller.

piles smaller

↓

Oh, good, the piles are getting smaller.

piles smaller

↓

Good.

↓

Reminds me. Did you get that sand out of his office?

office reminds sand

↓

Reminds me. Did you get that sand out of his office?

office reminds sand

↓

Yes, I did, and it cut my commute in half.

commute half

↓

Yes, I did, and it cut my commute in half.

commute half

↓

Good morning, loyal subjects.

loyal morning subjects

↓

Enjoy your day in Janitoria.

enjoy

↓

Enjoy your day in Janitoria.

enjoy

↓

Labour until you tire and then labour some more.

labour tire

↓

Labour until you tire and then labour some more.

labour tire

↓

Looks like rain.

rain

↓

Looks like rain.

rain

↓

That could be a problem.

problem

↓

Sir, can I have Sunday afternoon off?

afternoon sunday

↓

Sir, can I have Sunday afternoon off?

afternoon sunday

↓

That depends. Is Baxter's dog run gonna hose itself down?

baxters depends hose

↓

That depends. Is Baxter's dog run gonna hose itself down?

baxters depends hose

↓

- No. - Actually, it is.

↓

I rigged the hose to a timer. But I need you to clean out my gutters.

clean gutters hose rigged timer

↓

I rigged the hose to a timer. But I need you to clean out my gutters.

clean gutters hose rigged timer

↓

But, sir, I'm doing a bike ride for charity!

bike bike-ride charity ride

↓

But, sir, I'm doing a bike ride for charity!

bike bike-ride charity ride

↓

Ted, the only thing I hate more than bikes are procedural cop shows.

bikes hate shows

↓

Ted, the only thing I hate more than bikes are procedural cop shows.

bikes hate shows

↓

We get it, the paedophile did it. Be at my house at 2.30.

house

↓

We get it, the paedophile did it. Be at my house at 2.30.

house

↓

Just once, I...

↓

Just once, I...

↓

Just once, I wish I could treat Kelso like he treats us.

kelso treat treats wish

↓

Just once, I wish I could treat Kelso like he treats us.

kelso treat treats wish

↓

With Kelso, you got no leverage.

kelso leverage

↓

With Kelso, you got no leverage.

kelso leverage

↓

Leverage.

leverage

↓

Leverage?

leverage

↓

Leverage?

leverage

↓

- Don't know what it means, do ya? - No.

↓

You spend most of your time fighting death,

death fighting spend

↓

You spend most of your time fighting death,

death fighting spend

↓

so it's understandable that you're made uncomfortable by this.

uncomfortable understandable

↓

Now, if you'd like, I'm willing to counsel both of you.

counsel willing

↓

I was tempted to take him up on that, but Dr Cox said something.

tempted

↓

I was tempted to take him up on that, but Dr Cox said something.

tempted

↓

Listen up. We don't need any of your head shrinking.

head shrinking

↓

Listen up. We don't need any of your head shrinking.

head shrinking

↓

"We!" He said, "we!"

↓

"We!" He said, "we!"

↓

After all these years, he's finally made us a team.

finally team years

↓

After all these years, he's finally made us a team.

finally team years

↓

Yeah, Hedrick. If it was up to us, we never would've even called you.

called hedrick wouldve

↓

Yeah, Hedrick. If it was up to us, we never would've even called you.

called hedrick wouldve

↓

We can handle death just fine.

death handle

↓

We can handle death just fine.

death handle

↓

We might even be going into private practice.

might practice private private-practice

↓

- What? - Easy.

easy

↓

- What? - Easy.

easy

↓

Now is not the time to discuss the Dorian-Cox Clinic,

clinic discuss dorian

↓

Now is not the time to discuss the Dorian-Cox Clinic,

clinic discuss dorian

↓

much less the relocation to Jacksonville.

less

↓

Clearly, I'm pushing some buttons here.

buttons pushing

↓

Clearly, I'm pushing some buttons here.

buttons pushing

↓

You couldn't push my buttons if you tried. In fact, I have no buttons.

buttons fact push tried

↓

You couldn't push my buttons if you tried. In fact, I have no buttons.

buttons fact push tried

↓

Please think of me as buttonless, all smooth, like GI Joe's nether regions.

joes nether nether-regions regions smooth

↓

Please think of me as buttonless, all smooth, like GI Joe's nether regions.

joes nether nether-regions regions smooth

↓

This image is brought to you by my son, Jack,

brought image jack

↓

This image is brought to you by my son, Jack,

brought image jack

↓

who has been yanking pants off toy soldiers and leaving them

leaving pants soldiers yanking

↓

who has been yanking pants off toy soldiers and leaving them

leaving pants soldiers yanking

↓

in provocative positions on my nightstand.

nightstand positions

↓

It is disturbing enough so that leaving the house,

disturbing house leaving

↓

It is disturbing enough so that leaving the house,

disturbing house leaving

↓

I'm cranky and less able to suffer fools,

able cranky fools less suffer

↓

I'm cranky and less able to suffer fools,

able cranky fools less suffer

↓

which brings me back to you: The fool.

brings fool

↓

I'm done suffering you, so go now.

suffering

↓

I'm done suffering you, so go now.

suffering

↓

Go, before you can write a book entitled Help!

book entitled write

↓

Go, before you can write a book entitled Help!

book entitled write

↓

A Large Doctor is Beating My Ass: The Lester Hedrick Story.

beating doctor hedrick lester story

↓

A Large Doctor is Beating My Ass: The Lester Hedrick Story.

beating doctor hedrick lester story

↓

That was a mouthful.

mouthful

↓

That was a mouthful.

mouthful

↓

If you need to talk, just give me a call.

↓

If you need to talk, just give me a call.

↓

He seems strangely impervious to my threats. That annoys me.

annoys impervious seems strangely threats

↓

He seems strangely impervious to my threats. That annoys me.

annoys impervious seems strangely threats

↓

Whenever you're in the mood,

mood

↓

you call Keith and he comes over and gives you 20-something nasty?

comes gives keith nasty

↓

you call Keith and he comes over and gives you 20-something nasty?

comes gives keith nasty

↓

Watch me.

watch

↓

Got the machine.

machine

↓

We're going to your place. My room smells like apple vinegar.

apple place room smells vinegar

↓

We're going to your place. My room smells like apple vinegar.

apple place room smells vinegar

↓

Put clean sheets on the futon and turn pictures of your parents down,

clean clean-sheets futon parents pictures sheets

↓

Put clean sheets on the futon and turn pictures of your parents down,

clean clean-sheets futon parents pictures sheets

↓

except for that one of your dad in the Navy. It helps me.

except helps navy

↓

except for that one of your dad in the Navy. It helps me.

except helps navy

↓

except for that one of your dad in the Navy. It helps me.

except helps navy

↓

How does he put up with that?

↓

Would you get my scarf from the car?

scarf

↓

Would you get my scarf from the car?

scarf

↓

I am making a point here. No man should...

point

↓

I am making a point here. No man should...

point

↓

Turk, less point-making, more scarf-getting.

less point scarf turk

↓

- What's up? You need a ride? - Keep moving, C-Bear.

bear moving ride

↓

- What's up? You need a ride? - Keep moving, C-Bear.

bear moving ride

↓

I was hunting for bigger game.

bigger game hunting

↓

I was hunting for bigger game.

bigger game hunting

↓

I thought you went home already.

home

↓

Oh, I tried to, Perry, but I'm having some scooter trouble.

having perry scooter tried trouble

↓

Oh, I tried to, Perry, but I'm having some scooter trouble.

having perry scooter tried trouble

↓

Come on, I'll give you a ride. Let's go.

ride

↓

Come on, I'll give you a ride. Let's go.

ride

↓

Can you believe the huevos on that Hedrick?

believe hedrick

↓

Can you believe the huevos on that Hedrick?

believe hedrick

↓

Holy cow. It's like we've never had a patient die on us before.

holy patient

↓

Holy cow. It's like we've never had a patient die on us before.

holy patient

↓

I gotta put this bag in the trunk.

trunk

↓

I gotta put this bag in the trunk.

trunk

↓

I was in the Porsche. I had never made it into the Porsche.

porsche

↓

I was in the Porsche. I had never made it into the Porsche.

porsche

↓

It smelled like German heaven.

german heaven smelled

↓

It smelled like German heaven.

german heaven smelled

↓

I wasn't gonna blow this.

blow

↓

I had to be careful about every little...

careful

↓

I had to be careful about every little...

careful

↓

Hey, a root beer.

beer root root-beer

↓

Don't open that soda.

open soda

↓

Don't open that soda.

open soda

↓

It has been rolling on the floor. It'll explode.

explode floor itll rolling

↓

It has been rolling on the floor. It'll explode.

explode floor itll rolling

↓

You're not familiar with the John Dorian three-tap method.

dorian familiar john john-dorian method three

↓

You're not familiar with the John Dorian three-tap method.

dorian familiar john john-dorian method three

↓

Three taps and the foam goes bye-bye.

foam taps three

↓

Works every time.

works

↓

Works every time.

works

↓

The quickest way to my house is to take Elm.

house quickest

↓

The quickest way to my house is to take Elm.

house quickest

↓

Elliot, wait.

elliot

↓

Sorry, am I looking at your dad too much?

looking

↓

Sorry, am I looking at your dad too much?

looking

↓

His eyes penetrate my soul.

eyes penetrate soul

↓

His eyes penetrate my soul.

eyes penetrate soul

↓

No.

↓

No.

↓

I just want to tell you how beautiful you look right now.

↓

That is so sweet.

sweet

↓

That is so sweet.

sweet

↓

Tell you something I learned today.

learned today

↓

Wet sand plus dehumidifier equals cave-in.

cave equals plus sand

↓

Wet sand plus dehumidifier equals cave-in.

cave equals plus sand

↓

Is that Ted and a bunch of damn bikers?

bikers bunch

↓

Is that Ted and a bunch of damn bikers?

bikers bunch

↓

Why do you hate bikes so much, sir?

bikes hate

↓

Why do you hate bikes so much, sir?

bikes hate

↓

Son, Daddy's got to move on.

daddys

↓

Son, Daddy's got to move on.

daddys

↓

And I just want you to know

↓

And I just want you to know

↓

that since the car is in your mother's name,

mothers name

↓

I wouldn't be able to leave the family forever

able family forever

↓

I wouldn't be able to leave the family forever

able family forever

↓

if it weren't for your bike.

bike

↓

if it weren't for your bike.

bike

↓

It's complicated.

complicated

↓

It's complicated.

complicated

↓

Get off the road!

road

↓

Get off the road!

road

↓

Not today, Bobby! Not today!

bobby today

↓

Not today, Bobby! Not today!

bobby today

↓

I see we're growling at other human beings now.

beings growling human human-beings

↓

I see we're growling at other human beings now.

beings growling human human-beings

↓

How're you feeling, Mrs Wilk?

feeling howre wilk

↓

Oh, not great. I'm cold.

cold

↓

Oh, not great. I'm cold.

cold

↓

Oh, not great. I'm cold.

cold

↓

She's been getting weaker.

weaker

↓

In a hospital, you spend most of your time just trying to hold on.

hospital spend

↓

In a hospital, you spend most of your time just trying to hold on.

hospital spend

↓

Whether it's to your perception of a relationship...

perception relationship whether

↓

Whether it's to your perception of a relationship...

perception relationship whether

↓

That was fun. I'm glad you got my message.

fun glad message

↓

I didn't get any message.

message

↓

I didn't get any message.

message

↓

Elliot, if he didn't get your message,

elliot message

↓

Elliot, if he didn't get your message,

elliot message

↓

that means he called you for sex and you went over and gave it to him.

called

↓

that means he called you for sex and you went over and gave it to him.

called

↓

You're his booty call now.

booty

↓

... or trying to hold on to the handles on your custom bicycle.

bicycle custom handles

↓

... or trying to hold on to the handles on your custom bicycle.

bicycle custom handles

↓

Don't worry, Teddy. He'll turn.

teddy worry

↓

Don't worry, Teddy. He'll turn.

teddy worry

↓

Why'd you leave me, Daddy?!

daddy whyd

↓

Why'd you leave me, Daddy?!

daddy whyd

↓

Now we got leverage.

leverage

↓

Unfortunately, as a doctor,

doctor unfortunately

↓

you see your fair share of people who can't hold on any longer.

fair longer share

↓

you see your fair share of people who can't hold on any longer.

fair longer share

↓

She's in multi-organ systems dysfunction.

dysfunction multi organ systems

↓

She's in multi-organ systems dysfunction.

dysfunction multi organ systems

↓

She's OK. She's ready.

ready

↓

She's OK. She's ready.

ready

↓

Mrs Wilk didn't have much time,

wilk

↓

so either Dr Cox or I had to notify her next of kin.

notify

↓

so either Dr Cox or I had to notify her next of kin.

notify

↓

As physicians, we knew how to decide who should do it.

decide physicians

↓

As physicians, we knew how to decide who should do it.

decide physicians

↓

First one to drop tells her.

drop tells

↓

Pretty strong there, Newbie.

newbie strong

↓

I was not.

↓

But hopefully, the duct tape I used to connect my prosthetic arms was.

arms connect duct duct-tape hopefully prosthetic tape used

↓

But hopefully, the duct tape I used to connect my prosthetic arms was.

arms connect duct duct-tape hopefully prosthetic tape used

↓

Why are we doing this? I've seen people in her shape turn around.

seen shape

↓

Why are we doing this? I've seen people in her shape turn around.

seen shape

↓

She could turn it around.

↓

Denial.

denial

↓

Denial.

denial

↓

It's not uncommon for people close to the patient

close patient uncommon

↓

to also go through the five stages of grief.

five five-stages grief stages

↓

to also go through the five stages of grief.

five five-stages grief stages

↓

- It's not denial. She could rally. - Totally.

denial rally

↓

- It's not denial. She could rally. - Totally.

denial rally

↓

Oh, yeah. I mean, look at her. She should be in a vitamin commercial.

commercial vitamin

↓

Oh, yeah. I mean, look at her. She should be in a vitamin commercial.

commercial vitamin

↓

Would you like to be in a broken jaw commercial?

broken commercial

↓

God help me, I don't care if it does give me cancer,

cancer care

↓

God help me, I don't care if it does give me cancer,

cancer care

↓

I just love this fake sugar.

fake love sugar

↓

I just love this fake sugar.

fake love sugar

↓

If he keeps ignoring my threats, I'm gonna have to hit him.

ignoring keeps keeps-ignoring threats

↓

If he keeps ignoring my threats, I'm gonna have to hit him.

ignoring keeps keeps-ignoring threats

↓

The good news is, it looks like he has a soft face.

face news soft

↓

The good news is, it looks like he has a soft face.

face news soft

↓

- Are you done with my arms? - Coming to ya, Mr Johnson.

arms coming johnson

↓

- Are you done with my arms? - Coming to ya, Mr Johnson.

arms coming johnson

↓

So I was Keith's booty call. It'll blow over.

blow booty itll itll-blow keiths

↓

So I was Keith's booty call. It'll blow over.

blow booty itll itll-blow keiths

↓

That's not good enough, Elliot.

elliot

↓

By letting Keith get the upper hand, you've given Turk ideas. Look at him.

given hand ideas keith letting turk upper upper-hand

↓

By letting Keith get the upper hand, you've given Turk ideas. Look at him.

given hand ideas keith letting turk upper upper-hand

↓

Baby, I know you hate my cool walking stick,

baby cool hate stick walking

↓

Baby, I know you hate my cool walking stick,

baby cool hate stick walking

↓

but I got to be my own man.

↓

but I got to be my own man.

↓

It's catching on. Yeah.

catching

↓

It's catching on. Yeah.

catching

↓

OK, Teddy. I got this baby flowing now.

baby flowing teddy

↓

OK, Teddy. I got this baby flowing now.

baby flowing teddy

↓

I don't know if that's good.

↓

You should sue Kelso. You have a tort on your hands.

hands kelso tort

↓

You should sue Kelso. You have a tort on your hands.

hands kelso tort

↓

Tort?

tort

↓

Civil case. From the French avoir tort.

case civil french tort

↓

Civil case. From the French avoir tort.

case civil french tort

↓

Did you go to law school?

school

↓

No. I was Ruth Bader Ginsburg's janitor for a while.

bader janitor ruth ruth-bader

↓

No. I was Ruth Bader Ginsburg's janitor for a while.

bader janitor ruth ruth-bader

↓

- Ruth Bader who? - Hey! There's my guy.

bader ruth ruth-bader

↓

- Ruth Bader who? - Hey! There's my guy.

bader ruth ruth-bader

↓

Listen, I came up to apologise for that little fender-bender out there.

apologise bender fender fender-bender

↓

Listen, I came up to apologise for that little fender-bender out there.

apologise bender fender fender-bender

↓

So would two floor seats

floor floor-seats seats

↓

So would two floor seats

floor floor-seats seats

↓

to the WNBA All-Star Game just make all this ago away?

game star wnba

↓

to the WNBA All-Star Game just make all this ago away?

game star wnba

↓

Absolutely!

absolutely

↓

Absolutely!

absolutely

↓

Ted is gonna be wanting more than that, I'm afraid.

afraid wanting

↓

I am?

↓

I am?

↓

I am!

↓

Dr Cox and I decided to give Hedrick a piece of our mind.

decided hedrick mind piece

↓

Dr Cox and I decided to give Hedrick a piece of our mind.

decided hedrick mind piece

↓

Unfortunately, I had lost front-seat privileges.

front front-seat lost privileges seat unfortunately

↓

Unfortunately, I had lost front-seat privileges.

front front-seat lost privileges seat unfortunately

↓

Yep, you're right. Still a little sticky. Not yet ready for passengers.

passengers ready sticky

↓

Yep, you're right. Still a little sticky. Not yet ready for passengers.

passengers ready sticky

↓

All right, we're having this out right here, right now!

having

↓

All right, we're having this out right here, right now!

having

↓

Oh, for the love of God!

love

↓

What's this, some pansy "get in touch with my feelings

feelings pansy touch

↓

What's this, some pansy "get in touch with my feelings

feelings pansy touch

↓

because mommy didn't love me" group?

group love mommy

↓

because mommy didn't love me" group?

group love mommy

↓

Yeah, is that what it is?!

↓

Actually, this is a support group for the terminally ill.

group support support-group terminally

↓

Actually, this is a support group for the terminally ill.

group support support-group terminally

↓

We should probably go.

↓

We should probably go.

↓

No, no. Please, continue.

continue

↓

Stop bugging us.

bugging

↓

I find your particular brand of psychobablry about as useful

brand particular useful

↓

and about as effective as fairy dust.

dust effective fairy fairy-dust

↓

and about as effective as fairy dust.

dust effective fairy fairy-dust

↓

He's actually helped me quite a lot.

helped

↓

He's actually helped me quite a lot.

helped

↓

Good.

↓

- Dr Cox? - Yeah, Newbie, what do you got?

newbie

↓

- Dr Cox? - Yeah, Newbie, what do you got?

newbie

↓

That guy looks fantastic.

fantastic

↓

That guy looks fantastic.

fantastic

↓

What do you think he's dying of, a case of the handsomes?

case dying

↓

You know what? To hell with you, Hedrick!

hedrick

↓

You know what? To hell with you, Hedrick!

hedrick

↓

Group, can you tell me what stage of grief Dr Cox here is going through?

grief group stage

↓

Group, can you tell me what stage of grief Dr Cox here is going through?

grief group stage

↓

- Anger. - Anger, yes.

anger

↓

- Anger. - Anger, yes.

anger

↓

You don't want to see me angry!

angry

↓

Nor do you want to see I angry.

angry

↓

Nor do you want to see I angry.

angry

↓

Better hope you don't make any mistakes.

hope mistakes

↓

Better hope you don't make any mistakes.

hope mistakes

↓

It's awful.

awful

↓

It's awful.

awful

↓

Carla's telling Elliot to ignore you so she can regain power.

carlas elliot ignore power regain telling

↓

Carla's telling Elliot to ignore you so she can regain power.

carlas elliot ignore power regain telling

↓

I don't really care.

care

↓

Well, you know, this isn't about you, Keith.

keith

↓

This is about men everywhere who have been abused and bullied by women.

abused bullied women

↓

This is about men everywhere who have been abused and bullied by women.

abused bullied women

↓

It's about me.

↓

It's about me.

↓

Now when they walk by, you call her a different name.

name walk

↓

Now when they walk by, you call her a different name.

name walk

↓

I won't do it.

↓

Here's how you get your power back: Ignore him.

ignore power

↓

Here's how you get your power back: Ignore him.

ignore power

↓

- For real? - Yep.

real

↓

Hey, how you doing, Claire?

claire

↓

Hey, how you doing, Claire?

claire

↓

Did you just call me Claire?

claire

↓

Did you just call me Claire?

claire

↓

No, I would never call you...

↓

- Oh, snap! - Elliot!

elliot snap

↓

- Oh, snap! - Elliot!

elliot snap

↓

- Didn't sound like me. - I know.

sound

↓

They hear what they want to hear. They hear what they want to hear.

↓

I'll tell you what, I'd do anything if it meant she'd pull through this.

meant pull shed

↓

I'll tell you what, I'd do anything if it meant she'd pull through this.

meant pull shed

↓

Me too.

↓

Hey, that sounds like bargaining. That's the third stage.

bargaining sounds stage third third-stage

↓

Hey, that sounds like bargaining. That's the third stage.

bargaining sounds stage third third-stage

↓

By the way, I wasn't hiding there

hiding

↓

By the way, I wasn't hiding there

hiding

↓

so I could pop up and say that. I was plugging in my iPod.

ipod plugging

↓

so I could pop up and say that. I was plugging in my iPod.

ipod plugging

↓

Oh, hang on.

hang

↓

We weren't the only ones at the bargaining stage.

bargaining ones stage

↓

Now, let's talk, Ted.

↓

Now, let's talk, Ted.

↓

Just you and me. No lawyers.

lawyers

↓

Just you and me. No lawyers.

lawyers

↓

OK, I know how you can regain control of Keith.

control keith regain

↓

OK, I know how you can regain control of Keith.

control keith regain

↓

Don't bother. That booty call thing was fun,

booty bother fun

↓

Don't bother. That booty call thing was fun,

booty bother fun

↓

but I'm sick and tired of being a cold, emotionless bastard.

bastard cold emotionless sick tired

↓

but I'm sick and tired of being a cold, emotionless bastard.

bastard cold emotionless sick tired

↓

Don't ever get sick and tired of that. It is awesome being that.

awesome sick tired

↓

Don't ever get sick and tired of that. It is awesome being that.

awesome sick tired

↓

- We love it. - No!

love

↓

Yeah, it's too much, I know.

↓

Yeah, it's too much, I know.

↓

Well, you can always get another boy toy, right?

another

↓

Every time you look, you're gonna be reminded of no-strings-attached fun.

attached fun reminded strings strings-attached

↓

Every time you look, you're gonna be reminded of no-strings-attached fun.

attached fun reminded strings strings-attached

↓

Every time you look, you're gonna be reminded of no-strings-attached fun.

attached fun reminded strings strings-attached

↓

That's not what I'll remember.

remember

↓

I just wanted to tell you how beautiful you look right now.

wanted

↓

I just wanted to tell you how beautiful you look right now.

wanted

↓

That is so sweet.

sweet

↓

Oh, Elliot! You like him.

elliot

↓

That was the moment it got real for Elliot.

elliot moment real

↓

That was the moment it got real for Elliot.

elliot moment real

↓

And for Dr Cox and me.

↓

And for Dr Cox and me.

↓

Should be any minute now.

minute

↓

We'd been there before when someone died, but this felt different.

died

↓

We'd been there before when someone died, but this felt different.

died

↓

We'd been there before when someone died, but this felt different.

died

↓

She's gone.

gone

↓

She's gone.

gone

↓

We were definitely in the depression stage.

depression stage

↓

And bless Hedrick, he didn't say it.

bless hedrick

↓

And bless Hedrick, he didn't say it.

bless hedrick

↓

All he said was...

↓

She was lucky to have you two as doctors.

doctors lucky

↓

She was lucky to have you two as doctors.

doctors lucky

↓

Letting go is never easy.

easy letting

↓

Whether it's letting go of leverage you had over your boss...

boss letting leverage whether

↓

Whether it's letting go of leverage you had over your boss...

boss letting leverage whether

↓

I'd like "maintenance" on my uni written out

maintenance written

↓

I'd like "maintenance" on my uni written out

maintenance written

↓

in tiny light bulbs. That way, when I'm on a break,

break bulbs light light-bulbs tiny

↓

I can turn it off like a taxi.

taxi

↓

I can turn it off like a taxi.

taxi

↓

Your friend settled. It's over.

friend settled

↓

I got seven Sunday afternoons off a year. Yay!

afternoons seven seven-sunday seven-sunday-afternoons sunday sunday-afternoons

↓

I got seven Sunday afternoons off a year. Yay!

afternoons seven seven-sunday seven-sunday-afternoons sunday sunday-afternoons

↓

I got seven Sunday afternoons off a year. Yay!

afternoons seven seven-sunday seven-sunday-afternoons sunday sunday-afternoons

↓

... or letting go of your old booty call and making him your boyfriend.

booty boyfriend letting

↓

... or letting go of your old booty call and making him your boyfriend.

booty boyfriend letting

↓

Wanna go for dinner tonight? I mean at seven, not midnight.

dinner dinner-tonight midnight seven tonight

↓

Wanna go for dinner tonight? I mean at seven, not midnight.

dinner dinner-tonight midnight seven tonight

↓

I'd love that.

love

↓

I'd love that.

love

↓

But there's nothing more difficult

difficult

↓

But there's nothing more difficult

difficult

↓

than letting go of someone you cared about.

cared letting

↓

than letting go of someone you cared about.

cared letting

↓

She was a great old gal.

↓

- She was. - Hey!

↓

- She was. - Hey!

↓

Acceptance!

acceptance

↓

Damn bikes!

bikes

↓

Damn bikes!

bikes

↓

Boy, sometimes you've just got to love Kelso.

kelso love sometimes

↓

Boy, sometimes you've just got to love Kelso.

kelso love sometimes

↓

Captions edited by Ai-Media www.ai-media.tv

captions captions-edited edited media

↓

Captions edited by Ai-Media www.ai-media.tv

captions captions-edited edited media