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I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson

Season 3, Episode 5 โ€” DONโ€™T JUST SAY โ€œRELAX,โ€ ACTUALLY RELAX.

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I know it's cramped in here while the Fairfield branch is helping this week,
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but we need this push for the year-end accounting.
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You should have your payroll and expense reports in front of you.
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And if there's anything you need, just come find me.
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[thunderous rumble]
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Whoa. What was that?
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Oh. It makes a really loud sound when the air goes on.
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Scared the crap out of me.
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Was like, "What the hell?" Thought it was thunder.
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Thought it was a truck backing into the building.
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[laughing] I thought it was like a volcano erupting.
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What the hell?
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-You thought it was a volcano? -Yeah.
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[extended, uncomfortable silence]
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A volcano? In Southfield?
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Wish I could be in this guy's brain.
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[man 1] All right, everybody, let's get to work.
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That's awesome.
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It's awesome.
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I thought this was a little knife.
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-What? -Thought this pen was a little knife.
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Like a little dagger.
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Oh, wow.
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I really thought that.
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[taps]
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I thought this was a little pimp.
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[woman] The highlighter?
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I thought it was a little pimp walking all around.
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Shh.
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[man 2] The hell?
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-This get burned? -Stop looking around!
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[cart clatters softly]
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I thought that was a body bag.
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Randall, why would he bring a body bag to show us--
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-Why would a truck back into the building? -I thought that.
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Thought he was bringing a body bag!
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You thought a man was bringing a bag with a dead body in it
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from office to office to show everyone?
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I didn't know office to office.
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You don't know what I'm seeing. I see the world wildly and in wild ways.
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Like I look at this,
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and it's likeโ€ฆ it's like aโ€ฆ it's not this. It's like a fuckin', likeโ€ฆ
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-He can't think of anything. -I can!
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-Can't say it. It's offensive! -Say it.
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-Leave him alone. -No, what is it?
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Everybody here is fine. You can say it if you see it.
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-It's a bloody cock. -The hell's happening here?
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Amanda told Randall that he's creative.
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[woman] Oh, God.
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Can I speak to you?
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Do not say anything he says is interesting.
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Or good.
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Otherwise, he's gonna keep picking up stuff
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and saying it's other stuff.
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-Okay, I got it. I'm sorry. -Amanda.
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Do not say Randall is interesting.
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-[somber music plays] -[sighs]
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[exhales heavily]
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[tender piano melody plays]
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["Someone I Know" by Margo Guryan plays]
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[gurgles softly]
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[rumbling]
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[music slowly intensifies]
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โ™ช I know and you know โ™ช
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โ™ช Why, then, should I feel so right โ™ช
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โ™ช About bein' in yourโ€ฆ โ™ช
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Hey, one with the bride. Get the bride in there.
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-Okay. -Get in there. The more the merrier.
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Everyone wants to take a picture with the bride, the star.
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-Come on, Dad. You too. -Oh, no. You guys go on and have fun.
fun
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Come on, Dad, get in there. You can't say no to her.
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All right. All right.
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It's gonna count you down.
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Then look up here at the camera. Big smile.
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Big smiles in three, two, one.
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Got professional models here.
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-Yeah, right. -Let's do a silly one.
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Okay, grab a prop. Grab a prop.
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All right, here we go.
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[crowd gasping]
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Goddammit, that's not enough time!
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Three seconds to think of something silly? That's fucking insane! Not enough time!
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[bride] Oh my God, Dad.
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[father] I blanked, okay?
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I gagged on a fucking purple feather.
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You could be a flapper.
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Like a 1920s dancer.
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Fuck! I could've been Barney.
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-How? -Could've been like Barney's hair.
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He's like cloth. Cloth is hairs. It's little tiny hairs.
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Even his mouth has little hairs.
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I mean, he's cloth! Cloth is just little hairs.
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-Got too much going on, business-wise. -What are you even talking about?
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He has hair. Give me the fuckin' shutter shades. Gonna do another one.
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Hey! Where are you going?
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To relax! I already had my picture taken with the star.
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-I like what I did. -Don't have business deals on the line.
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I do! A ton! I have 15 investors for the Pelling Ball.
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What the fuck is the Pelling Ball?
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-Who is Bart Lee? -Heard of John Richter?
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[electronic music plays]
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Stop! Stop doing that!
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-Stop it! -Stop doing that right now.
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-Stop doing that dance! -You stop that!
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Yep.
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["Just One More Time" by Ernestine Thompson plays]
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โ™ช This must be my day now โ™ช
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It's so nice you live this close.
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Yeah. I was so pumped they chose to do the convention in Cleveland.
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And a great chance to have a house party.
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-Will do. -Totally.
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[conversation continues indistinctly]
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You got it.
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You're not gonna talk about your kids an ounce.
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Scared I'm gonna tear my ACL, you know.
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My daughter goes flying down in a little ski suit.
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-[laughter] -[upbeat music plays softly]
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-Do what? -Talk kids.
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I stopped you by pretending to ride that beautiful dog.
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Yeah. It's all right. It's all right.
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[eerie music plays, cuts off abruptly]
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[cheerfully] From Tower of Money.
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-It's a night club culture. -It's great. I was there last spring.
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Hey, everybody!
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-Hey! -Hey!
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All right, break it up. Knock it off.
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-Just drop it. -What?
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[laughter]
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-What? -Now everybody loves me too much.
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-I don't know. -Let's do something.
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Oh, wow.
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"We're going way too fast."
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Everything I do is official when I wanna win.
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-You, there. You, there. You, over there. -Yeah.
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Telling you, back in my day, I could square up.
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-Can only imagine. -[chuckles]
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No, let me think a minute. I'll think of it.
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-Happy birthday. -My brother's 41.