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Home » It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia » S17E01 — The Gang F***s Up Abbott Elementary

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Season 17, Episode 1 — The Gang F***s Up Abbott Elementary

TMDB episode metadata

Show: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Episode title: The Gang F***s Up Abbott Elementary

Air date: July 09, 2025

Director: Todd Biermann

Top billed cast: Charlie Day, Glenn Howerton, Rob Mac, Kaitlin Olson, Danny DeVito

Months after the Gang visited, Abbott's Principal Ava walks viewers through some of the unseen footage of the Gang's volunteerism and reveals their true intentions.

Source: TMDB

↓

So, as you may recall, a little while back

recall

↓

we had some volunteers at the school.

school volunteers

↓

Found out they were here for community service.

community community-service found service

↓

I wasn't tripping. Four days,

days four four-days tripping

↓

free labor and they were outta here.

free labor outta

↓

But we were alerted to some additional footage, if you will.

additional footage

↓

Turns out these clowns were up to a lot more than we knew.

clowns turns

↓

Welcome to Abbott Elementary,

elementary welcome

↓

the best elementary school in the universe.

best elementary elementary-school school universe

↓

What's the deal with all the cameras?

cameras deal

↓

We have, like, a Vanderpump thing going on.

↓

- Don't worry about it. - No!

worry

↓

No. I think I'll be spending my time on the other side of the camera.

camera side spending

↓

- Thank you very much. - See?

↓

- Yeah, okay. - Totally get that.

↓

Um...

↓

If Caucasian Cultural Exchange is over,

cultural exchange

↓

let's get to the free work.

free

↓

You got it.

↓

Before we do that, could my associates and I talk?

associates

↓

If you wanna talk, talk.

↓

In private. I mean, away from the...

private

↓

- Yeah. That's an issue. - The cameras. Yeah.

cameras issue

↓

- Yeah. - If we could just not be near those.

near

↓

- It'll only take a second. - Frank, just go...

frank itll second second-frank

↓

- Go? - Yeah.

↓

Yeah. We'll be right Yeah. We'll be right back.

↓

- Yeah, of course. - We'll roam around your school.

course roam school

↓

- Yeah. - Just need a minute.

minute

↓

- What are we doing? - Go, go, go. Go.

↓

Close that door and lock it.

close door lock

↓

- Okay. I got an idea. - Frank,

frank idea

↓

let's not make this a whole thing, please.

whole

↓

- Just a quick in and out. - The faster we get it done,

faster quick

↓

- the better. - I see an opportunity here.

opportunity

↓

How's a school an opportunity?

opportunity school

↓

It's not just a school. It's a gold mine.

gold school

↓

I can't believe these shitheads forgot they were mic'd.

believe forgot

↓

_

↓

- How is a school a gold mine? - Copper piping.

copper gold piping school

↓

Thousands and thousands of yards of it.

thousands yards

↓

And this is an old building. They use the thick kind.

building thick

↓

I mean, a fence would pay a fortune

fence fortune

↓

- for that stuff. - Frank.

frank stuff

↓

- What? - We're not ripping copper piping

copper piping ripping

↓

- out of a public school. - Well, why not?

public public-school school

↓

The city's gonna make 'em do it anyway.

↓

And they're gonna wind up paying for it. We'd be doing them a favor.

favor paying wind

↓

Okay. Stop, stop. We're not doing this, all right?

↓

We're just We're gonna get through the day. Okay?

↓

And then we're gonna get the hell out of here. Because I...

↓

Oh, my God. This coffee is sludge.

coffee

↓

What's the story on the snacks? Are these free or what?

free snacks story

↓

Guys, I'm with Dennis. If I could just get this release signed,

dennis release signed

↓

then we could be outta here in a week. All right?

outta week

↓

Look, I don't wanna get lice from one of these kids.

kids lice

↓

Did you guys know that Black people can't get lice?

black lice

↓

Dee, that's, like, crazy racist.

crazy racist

↓

No, no, no. That's just science.

science

↓

It's the lice who are racist.

lice racist

↓

- All right. Hold on, hold on. - Racist lice?

lice racist

↓

You hear this conversation? This is us digging a deeper hole.

conversation deeper digging hole

↓

Let's please not do it. I'm begging you all.

begging

↓

Why is this door locked? And who are you people?

door door-locked locked

↓

Oh, hi. We're your volunteers.

volunteers

↓

You're not supposed to be in here. This is the teachers' lounge.

lounge supposed teachers teachers-lounge

↓

Ah. Then where's the volunteers' lounge?

lounge volunteers

↓

Actually, um, question. Sorry.

question

↓

Are you in charge of cleaning the coffee pots?

charge cleaning coffee pots

↓

Because, um, they're really dirty

dirty

↓

and you're not doing a good job.

↓

What is this?

↓

- Quit eating that. - Yeah. Quit eating that.

eating quit

↓

I'm not I thought it was free. It's not free?

free

↓

- Y'all get the hell out of here. - Get the hell out of here.

yall

↓

- Get out of here. He said. - I thought they were free.

free

↓

- Get the hell out of here. You know? - Okay. All right.

↓

- It's just a misunderstanding. Probably. - No.

misunderstanding

↓

Guy's gonna be a problem. Take care of him.

care problem

↓

I can't say I'm surprised by any of this.

surprised

↓

I mean, I liked Dee at first,

liked

↓

but things got awkward when she tried to steal you.

awkward steal tried

↓

That was never gonna happen.

happen

↓

Still. Safe to say I liked her less after that.

less liked safe

↓

But it wasn't until I saw the extra footage

extra footage

↓

that I was able to realize just how much of a...

able realize

↓

Mmm. I need to say a bad word.

word

↓

- It's okay. Yeah. - Yeah?

↓

- I'm gonna. It's real bad. - We talked about this. Go ahead.

ahead go-ahead real talked

↓

How much of a total fucking cunt she was.

cunt fucking total

↓

I I thought you was gonna call her a bitch.

bitch

↓

- No. I didn't feel that was strong enough. - Okay.

strong

↓

Bitch can be a very fine dog. That is not what this woman is.

bitch woman

↓

Class, could I have your attention for one second?

attention class second

↓

You are being taught by a genius.

genius taught

↓

And class, if I may,

class

↓

you have a genius volunteer aiding you.

genius volunteer

↓

Aw.

↓

- You. You. - You.

↓

- No, you. - It's definitely you.

↓

- Right now. One, two, three. You. - You.

three

↓

Back up. Go. Go out there. Go out there. Go out there.

↓

Okay. I notice you following that one around a bunch?

bunch following notice

↓

What is going on with that? I'm not picking up star vibes from her.

picking star vibes

↓

She's a dud. She's a giant dud.

giant

↓

But I have an idea: You follow me around,

follow idea

↓

make me the star of whatever this is,

star

↓

and I will make this shit pop. Right?

↓

I'll steal her man. I'll expose her for the dud she is.

expose steal

↓

What do you think? Let's work together.

↓

Huh? Oh.

↓

- Hey. - Hey.

↓

- We can't wait till you come back. - I can't wait to come back.

till

↓

Oh, my God.

↓

I mean, what is she talking about?

↓

The star of the thing? What?

star

↓

- I don't know. She's crazy. It's a... Yeah. - She really is crazy.

crazy

↓

- If anything, Ava's the star. - Mmm.

star

↓

Maybe Barb. Could be me at this point.

point

↓

- But you know - Sure. Yeah.

↓

Sure?

↓

- You don't think I've gotten... - No. No. No, absolutely.

absolutely gotten

↓

- You're the star. - The focus...

focus star

↓

They kind of go through my interpretation of it.

↓

- Yeah. It's for you. Yeah. - Okay.

↓

Well, actually, that's not what this is about.

↓

- No. Exactly. - 'Cause it's about the kids.

kids

↓

But the good news is

news

↓

she was never actually attracted to Gregory at all.

attracted gregory

↓

Sorry.

↓

She should've been. No.

shouldve

↓

These dumbasses couldn't even pretend to volunteer for very long.

pretend volunteer

↓

Day one, they tried to recruit athletes for their old high school.

athletes recruit school tried

↓

Yo.

↓

Hey, dude. Pfft. This place is the worst, man.

pfft place worst

↓

They're, like, totally, like, trying to teach me to read and stuff.

read stuff teach

↓

And I'm just, like, playing along and being like, "Oh.

along playing

↓

You know. You can help me."

↓

But it's just like I'm trying to kill time, you know?

kill

↓

- Like, it's so boring. Yeah. - Yeah. Yeah. Uh-huh.

boring

↓

- Sure. - What do they got you doing?

↓

Uh, well, they don't really have me doing anything,

↓

but I decided to do this.

decided

↓

Oh. What What is this?

↓

Well, I... I grabbed a bunch of stuff from the science class

bunch class grabbed science stuff

↓

- Uh-huh. - and I'm doing a science experiment here.

experiment science

↓

- Is it coffee? - It is coffee.

coffee

↓

I could smell it.

smell

↓

It's the most amazing coffee you've ever had.

amazing coffee

↓

- You wouldn't believe it. - Dude, sick. Give me a cup.

believe sick

↓

- I'm like Walter White over here. - Yeah, absolutely.

absolutely walter white

↓

- Hey, guys. - You want this one? It's ready to go.

ready

↓

You would not believe the bozos they got

believe bozos

↓

as the stars of this thing.

stars

↓

- Stars of what thing? - Yeah.

stars

↓

Their reality show or whatever it is they got going.

reality

↓

- Oh, shit. - Oh, shit.

↓

- I keep forgetting about these guys. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

forgetting

↓

- Yeah, me too. - I'm gonna use it as a launching pad.

↓

- I got an angle. - No, no, no. We're not doing angles, Dee.

angle

↓

- What smells good? - Coffee. You gotta try it.

coffee smells

↓

- Make her one. - You want one?

↓

- This is a coffee? Yeah. - Yeah.

coffee

↓

It's really slow, so I'll make you a small one.

slow

↓

- Raccoon on the loose. - What?

loose raccoon

↓

- Really? - Hey, hey. Frank, Frank.

frank frank-frank

↓

Yeah. I bought a racoon in to keep that janitor busy.

bought busy janitor

↓

- Coffee me, huh? - Nice, dude. Good move.

coffee

↓

- Yeah. - No, no. Frank, cameras.

cameras frank

↓

- Yo. What's up, bitches? - Oh, shoot.

bitches shoot

↓

Have you guys seen the talent in this school?

school seen talent

↓

No. No. What are you... We're just doing the one thing, okay?

↓

You guys are talking about five different things.

five

↓

For Christ's sake, you're all over the place.

christs christs-sake place sake

↓

What talent? What you talking about?

talent

↓

Yeah. There's kids, like, that are taller than me.

kids taller

↓

I say we recruit one for the basketball team at St. Joe's.

basketball joes recruit team

↓

- No, no, no. - Dude. Great idea, man.

idea

↓

- They've been sucking ass, bro. - We are just doing the one thing. Okay?

sucking

↓

I want a I want a straight line to Friday. That's it.

friday line straight

↓

- Okay. All right. - He needs a coffee.

coffee needs

↓

Yeah. Get him some coffee, man. Make a coffee for

coffee

↓

- Coffee, coffee. - Mac, try a coffee.

coffee

↓

- Yeah. I'll have a coffee. - It's really good.

coffee

↓

It's perfectly pH-balanced.

perfectly

↓

I keep forgetting about the cameras, man.

cameras forgetting

↓

- I forget about them every time, dude. - Shit. Yeah.

forget

↓

It is easy to forget about the cameras.

cameras easy forget

↓

I keep cash on me to make things "go away."

cash

↓

But they took it to the next level.

level

↓

That's a good idea.

idea

↓

Totally profit off a young basketball player.

basketball player profit young

↓

Like, pull a Blind Side on 'em.

blind blind-side pull side

↓

- Are you pissing in that locker? - Oh, it's the coffee.

coffee locker pissing

↓

- I drank so much coffee. Yeah. - It goes right through you, yeah.

coffee drank

↓

Let's do the Blind Side thing.

blind blind-side side

↓

Well, yeah. But I think we're not supposed to say "blind side,"

blind blind-side side supposed

↓

- 'cause it's, like, a... - Why?

↓

It got frowned upon, 'cause It was, like, a white savior thing.

savior white

↓

And I think white people aren't supposed to help Black people anymore. Right?

anymore black supposed white

↓

No. That's a misunderstanding.

misunderstanding

↓

- Okay, good. - Yeah. You see, St. Joe's is

joes

↓

predominantly white teams, so we're helping the basketball team.

basketball helping team teams white

↓

We're helping a white school, so it's fine.

helping school white

↓

- Look at that one. He's tall. - Don't say "that one." I know that much.

tall

↓

- Let's go get him. Let's go get him. - I meant that Black kid.

black meant

↓

Hey, kid. Look at you. Wow.

↓

Wow, man. We saw you in the hall.

hall

↓

- We liked everything we saw. - We did.

liked

↓

What's it gonna take to convince you

convince

↓

to leave a place like this and come with us?

place

↓

We may have access to a Lexus if you wanna joyride.

access joyride lexus

↓

- You like joyriding? - Vroom, vroom.

joyriding vroom

↓

What is this? What is going on here?

↓

Uh... Well...

↓

He... He left. Yeah.

left

↓

Okay, you need to leave too.

↓

What the...

↓

Poor Rodney. He was really freaked out.

freaked poor rodney

↓

Maybe it was Jacob interrupting them,

interrupting jacob

↓

or maybe it was when they found out

found

↓

that Rodney is legally blind in one eye and can't shoot for shit.

blind legally rodney shoot

↓

Don't think we didn't try. He's trash.

trash

↓

A basketball recruit? Oh, thank God.

basketball recruit

↓

My mind was going to terrible places.

mind places

↓

Anyway, they got off that idea and bounced to the next one

bounced idea

↓

like one of those ADHD kids.

kids

↓

The only thing I will say is, their coffee was fantastic.

coffee fantastic

↓

Okay. Got a soy almond latte for Gregory. There we go.

almond gregory latte

↓

- Much obliged. - Okay. And Janine. You have the

janine

↓

Yeah. it was a mocha grande half-caf with a splash of...

grande half mocha splash

↓

- A splash of vanilla. - Yes.

splash vanilla

↓

Okay. I got you right here.

↓

- There we go. Enjoy. Enjoy. - Thanks. Okay. Thank you.

enjoy thanks

↓

Katie, I remember you.

katie remember

↓

Super complicated order.

complicated order super

↓

I gotta say, guys.

↓

This experience is not as bad as I thought it would be.

experience

↓

Yeah. It's fine, you know.

↓

I mean, for once, laying low is maybe paying off for us.

laying paying

↓

No, no, no. Screw laying low.

laying screw

↓

I'm making a play for dingbat's guy, and it's working.

working

↓

- No. Dee, I said no angles. What're you... - Excuse me.

excuse whatre

↓

Guys, excuse me. I'm volunteering,

excuse volunteering

↓

so I have to come through here. Yeah.

↓

Yeah. Yeah, they said that the volunteers had to come through.

volunteers

↓

'Cause we wouldn't normally do that.

normally

↓

We're good people. But we had to. So...

↓

What, bro? What?

↓

Guys, I'm actually, like, really pissed at this school.

pissed school

↓

Like, they have no idea how to teach people, you know? Like...

idea teach

↓

- What, you not learning to read? - No. It's not the reading.

learning read reading

↓

I know how to read. It's 9/11, man.

read

↓

- What-What-What? - What about 9/11?

↓

Yeah?

↓

The kids don't know anything about it, man.

kids

↓

- They don't know what it is. - What?

↓

I heard a couple of 'em joking,

couple heard joking

↓

and they were sharing funny, like, Internet memes.

funny internet memes sharing

↓

And they were, like, "Oh, yeah. Oh, that? I know that Internet joke thing."

internet joke

↓

No.

↓

- That's how they know it. - Okay. Hold on a second. I...

second

↓

Well now I have to get involved, 'cause that's insane.

insane involved

↓

- Yeah, that's kids these days. - Huh?

days kids

↓

- 9/11 is just one giant meme to them. - Yeah, it's a big joke.

giant joke meme

↓

- It is? - Yeah. It's like Pearl Harbor.

harbor pearl pearl-harbor

↓

I mean, you know, that happens. Everybody looks the other way.

everybody happens

↓

Now we're all buying Japanese cars.

buying cars japanese

↓

And now the Arabs are buying golf from us.

buying golf

↓

- What? - Golf's not for sale, dude.

sale

↓

The purest sport in the history of humanity?

history humanity sport

↓

What's next, football?

football

↓

- Wait a minute. - What happened to "never forget"?

forget happened minute

↓

We said we weren't gonna forget.

forget

↓

We made an agreement to never forget.

agreement forget

↓

We collectively made an agreement to never forget.

agreement forget

↓

Next thing you know, now the camps And just buying whatever car we want?

buying camps

↓

- I mean, what the hell is this? - We're just forgetting what happened?

forgetting happened

↓

This argument went on for way too long.

argument

↓

I remember every goddamn one of those attackers' names.

goddamn names remember

↓

- Every goddamn one. - Of course you do.

course goddamn

↓

- Mohamed Atta. - That guy!

atta

↓

- Marwan al-Shehhi! - Ziad Jarrah!

↓

Bin Laden! He died like the dog in the dirt that he was, man!

died dirt laden

↓

- That's right, goddamn it. - That's where he belongs.

belongs goddamn goddamn-it

↓

- The fallen fire department! - Gonna forget about the firefighters?

department fallen fire fire-department forget

↓

These people were passionate, but dumb as shit.

dumb passionate

↓

'Cause at some point they argued themselves right into conspiracy theories.

conspiracy point theories

↓

- So it had to be a hoax. - Of course. Yes.

course

↓

I mean, steel would not melt at that temperature.

melt steel temperature

↓

I mean, take fire to steel and see if it melts. It won't.

fire melts steel

↓

- You try it. - No, you know what?

↓

A missile sent by your own government is probably what it was.

government sent

↓

- I read online there wasn't even a plane. - Really?

online plane read

↓

I'm starting to think there wasn't even towers, dude.

starting towers

↓

- I'd never been to them. - Has anybody seen the towers?

anybody seen towers

↓

- With your own eyes, not a picture. - Exactly. Not a picture.

eyes picture

↓

Only seen pictures the government has shown me.

government pictures seen shown

↓

They're changing the weather now, do you know about this?

changing weather

↓

- They control the weather. - Yeah. With frogs. I saw that.

control frogs weather

↓

- They control the weather. - Yeah, with frogs.

control frogs weather

↓

- Yeah, they shoot the frogs up there. - They shoot frogs up there?

frogs shoot

↓

- They're throwing tornadoes at Florida. - Yeah. It creates a super storm.

creates florida storm super throwing

↓

- Crop control. - The oranges. There's too many oranges.

control crop oranges

↓

I know it sounds crazy but I think at one point,

crazy point sounds sounds-crazy

↓

these people were trying to start a boy band.

band start

↓

All right. Remember to combine all three words here.

combine remember three words

↓

Darnell Lewis and Jordan Cox,

jordan lewis

↓

please report to the principal's office.

office principals principals-office report

↓

I thought it was kinda odd

kinda

↓

when Ava had one of the volunteers making announcements.

announcements volunteers

↓

- Now, really think about... - No. What? Actually, wait.

↓

Yeah, sorry. Go to the bathroom.

bathroom

↓

No, no. Don't tell them to go to the bathroom.

bathroom

↓

Dennis, the acoustics are better.

dennis

↓

What? Have them come to the music room.

music room

↓

Yeah. Okay, fine. Darnell and Jordan,

jordan

↓

please go to the music room or whatever. Thank you.

music room

↓

Did you have that pushed the whole time?

pushed whole

↓

- The what? No, which What? - Keep doing your work.

↓

I'll be right back.

↓

So I had to go down there and check it out for myself.

check

↓

* I'll make love to you Like you want me to *

love

↓

* And I'll hold you tight Baby, all through the night *

baby night tight

↓

- Ooh. This is what we want. - Yeah, yeah.

↓

- This is good. - A little pitchy at times.

times

↓

- Very good singer. - Very nice.

singer

↓

- He's a little pitchy, but it's fine. - Yeah? But...

↓

My main concern is he's coming off like kind of a nerd.

coming concern main nerd

↓

You know we've already got our nerd.

nerd

↓

- We need a bad boy. - We do.

↓

Hey, Steven, would you say you're a bad boy?

steven

↓

I don't know.

↓

- You don't know? - You don't know, huh?

↓

I feel like a bad boy would know if he was bad, right?

↓

- Yeah, he might. - I think so.

might

↓

Damn it. I told Mac to get the detention list.

detention list

↓

Yeah, 'cause that's how we're gonna find...

↓

Hey. Hey. How we doing? All right.

↓

What's going on in here?

↓

Uh, we're just having auditions. Well, Ava said it was okay.

auditions having

↓

Ava said we could use the room.

room

↓

- And we got her... - Real quick, just wanna walk this back.

quick real real-quick walk

↓

Um, Ava said that it was okay for you to pull kids out of class

class kids pull

↓

- so they could sing for you? - Yeah.

sing

↓

Yeah. Otherwise how we're gonna know who's the

otherwise

↓

It was kinda like a class. In a way, it's a music class.

class kinda music

↓

Basically like, we're just kind of, like, shopping for kids here,

kids shopping

↓

and we got a pretty good collection.

collection

↓

You know, we got a nerd and we got the boy next door.

door nerd

↓

We got the ugly one that people feel sorry for, but we

ugly

↓

He's so ugly too. But he is uglier than...

ugly

↓

Maybe too ugly.

ugly

↓

- Yeah, maybe too ugly. - Now we found our bad boy.

found ugly

↓

You see, the bad boy is the most important one.

↓

Because the bad boy makes the sexual component less weird.

component less makes sexual weird

↓

Yeah. I wouldn't have said that, but...

↓

That's not why. That's not really the...

↓

This was some crazy shit. I didn't wanna deal with it,

crazy deal

↓

so I took it to Ava.

↓

Ava.

↓

- What? - The others were right.

others

↓

These volunteers have got to go.

volunteers

↓

No. You were right. They're amazing, and they're staying.

amazing staying

↓

Shit. I might frame 'em for another crime just to get their hours up.

another crime frame hours might

↓

What? What? No.

↓

Did I ask you to stop steaming?

steaming

↓

Okay. She was right.

↓

Between fighting teachers, pissing in lockers and the boy band thing,

band fighting lockers pissing teachers

↓

I should have booted their ass.

↓

Because that white woman was going in.

white white-woman woman

↓

What do you mean you didn't get the fight on camera?

camera fight

↓

What is wrong with you?

↓

I let that bitch kick my ass so that I could look like a victim.

bitch kick victim

↓

You think I couldn't kick her...

kick

↓

She's tiny. I could destroy her.

destroy tiny

↓

I'd rip her hair out.

hair

↓

I'd rip this whole school bald if I wanted to,

bald school wanted whole whole-school

↓

oh, but that would like some kind of hate crime

crime hate hate-crime

↓

in the liberal media.

liberal media

↓

Wouldn't they just love that. No. I'm not doing it.

love

↓

What's wrong with you? You call yourself a camera crew?

camera crew

↓

Oh, my God. Get your head out of your ass.

head

↓

Nah, I've seen some shit.

seen

↓

But crazy white people hit different.

crazy white

↓

"Let me kick her ass?"

kick

↓

No. I am not a violent person, but if I wanna kick someone's ass, I will.

kick person someones violent

↓

"Let me kick her ass." She said that?

kick

↓

No. No. And you know what? I'm not mad.

↓

I'm not, because I am totally over that woman,

woman

↓

um, because I'm a happy person. So...

happy person

↓

I'm so sorry. I saw a mosquito.

↓

Yeah, so, in one point

point

↓

I was misled into believing they were shooting an educational video

believing educational shooting video

↓

in the vein of Billy Joel's "We Didn't Start The Fire."

billy fire start vein

↓

I don't know how the fuck they got on this.

fuck

↓

Bye. See youse.

youse

↓

Knock, knock, knock. I've got a piping hot

knock knock-knock piping

↓

caramel macchiato for a Melissa.

caramel melissa

↓

That's me.

↓

- Oh, there you are. - Thank you, Dennis.

dennis

↓

It's my pleasure. Absolutely. Hey, Go birds.

absolutely birds pleasure

↓

- Go birds. - Hey, listen.

birds

↓

Um, might I trouble you with a query?

might trouble

↓

On the subject of Billy Joel with the scale being, one:

billy billy-joel joel scale subject

↓

"I can't stand his music" to ten:

music stand

↓

"I think he's the single greatest musician in the history of sound,"

greatest history musician single sound

↓

where do you place the man?

place

↓

Negative five. But you know who is a massive fan?

five massive negative

↓

A hundred fifty. A million ten. Infinity.

fifty hundred million

↓

Amazing. Okay, great. Yeah.

amazing

↓

So we are actually looking to recruit teachers

looking recruit teachers

↓

to help us with a little song.

song

↓

By that point, I should have known better

known point

↓

but, um, I'm a sucker for anything Billy Joel related, so...

billy billy-joel joel related sucker

↓

- Yeah. - This is really exciting, guys.

exciting

↓

Okay. So here's what we're gonna do.

↓

You, our modern educators,

modern

↓

are going to sing the updated lyrics

lyrics sing updated

↓

to Billy Joel's classic song,

billy classic song

↓

and we will be reenacting the iconic historical moments

historical iconic moments reenacting

↓

on video at a later date.

date video

↓

Oh, my God. Can we be part of that as well? 'Cause...

part

↓

I feel like it wouldn't be right if you weren't.

↓

- That's great. Let's get them involved. - Yeah.

involved

↓

- Yeah. - Yeah. Okay.

↓

Matter of fact, I'm gonna film the rehearsal.

fact film matter rehearsal

↓

Yeah, just shoot it. Shoot everything.

shoot

↓

Okay, I'm gonna stumble through one.

stumble

↓

Don't worry if you get it wrong.

worry

↓

- Okay. Yeah. - Let's just try it for time. Okay? Um...

↓

Okay. And...

↓

* Caitlin Clark And Angel Reese *

angel clark reese

↓

* Captain Sully hit some geese *

captain geese sully

↓

* Marijuana legalized *

marijuana

↓

* Price of copper Is on the rise *

copper price rise

↓

* Kaepernick takes a knee *

knee takes

↓

* Ozempic cures obesity *

cures obesity

↓

* Y2K was overblown They shut down Guantánamo *

↓

* We didn't start the fire It was always burning *

burning fire start

↓

- * Always burning * - * Since the world's been turning *

burning turning worlds

↓

- * Since the world's been turning * - * We didn't start the fire *

fire start turning worlds

↓

- * We didn't start the fire * - * It was always burning *

burning fire start

↓

- * Since the world's been turning * - * It's always turning *

turning worlds

↓

* We didn't, we didn't We didn't, we didn't *

↓

* We didn't we didn't, we didn't *

↓

* We didn't start the fire *

fire start

↓

Actually, they did start a fire.

fire start

↓

You see this? Look, it's not even wilting.

↓

Mac, that's indestructible.

indestructible

↓

You're telling me that an entire building is gonna melt to the ground

building entire ground melt telling

↓

but we can't even melt the bench?

bench melt

↓

- I don't think so. Oh. - Oh!

↓

Oh, shit. It's going up the wall.

wall

↓

But eventually, the whole song thing fell apart

apart eventually fell fell-apart song whole

↓

when they discovered something that they did not like.

discovered

↓

- Wow. Wow, guys. This was amazing. - Yes.

amazing

↓

- Love it. You guys. - Charlie.

charlie love

↓

Look, guys. I'm so excited and I really can't wait

excited

↓

to be a part of the reenactment. I just want to throw that out there again,

part reenactment throw

↓

but I'm just curious, like, as to why you guys are doing it?

curious

↓

I just was wondering.

wondering

↓

- Fair. Fair. - Yeah. That's a good question. Like...

fair question

↓

So we realized that the kids don't know anything about 9/11 really.

kids realized

↓

It's like a joke or a meme to them.

joke meme

↓

And, like, "Never forget," you know?

forget

↓

We said, "Never forget," and they seemed to have forgotten.

forget forgotten seemed

↓

I love this. I mean, I love this.

love

↓

Human beings have been educating one another

another beings human human-beings

↓

through the method of song for generations

generations method song

↓

that predate even the most ancient of societies.

ancient

↓

- Absolutely. - Yeah.

absolutely

↓

This particular song was instrumental,

instrumental particular song

↓

- I would say, in our education - It was big for us.

education

↓

and we just felt like it was due for an update. Right.

update

↓

- It's due for an update. - Yes.

update

↓

And I love that you guys did it almost better than Fall Out Boy, you know?

fall love

↓

- With the lyric change and everything. - Yeah.

change

↓

Well then, no this is Billy Joel's song.

billy song

↓

No, no. The band Fall Out Boy, they already did an update

band fall update

↓

- Yeah. - like, of this song.

song

↓

Changed all the lyrics and

changed lyrics

↓

Who's Fall Out Boy?

fall

↓

It's an emo band that did a really good update. It was really good.

band update

↓

- Okay. - Yeah.

↓

- I thought that's why you... - Yeah.

↓

Will you excuse us for a moment?

excuse moment

↓

We're gonna need a...

↓

- We're just gonna need a minute. - Okay.

minute

↓

Is it to go listen to their version?

version

↓

- To... - No.

↓

- No. - Oh, okay.

↓

Apparently, this Fall Out Boy thing was a big deal to them.

apparently deal fall

↓

Son of a bitch!

bitch

↓

Every goddamn time we try a single thing

goddamn single

↓

this goddamn Fall Out Boy!

fall goddamn

↓

- Goddamn pricks! - Always a step ahead of us! Fuckers!

ahead fuckers goddamn pricks step step-ahead

↓

I mean, the Ed Hardy jeans.

hardy jeans

↓

- The spiked hair. - Yeah!

hair spiked

↓

Plus the eyeliner! That was my look.

plus

↓

- He stole it from me. - It was your look, Mac!

stole

↓

That has been your look!

↓

- Goddamn Fall Out Boy. - This goddamn Fall Out Boy.

fall goddamn

↓

I've got nothing for this.

↓

In all my years of teaching primary school,

primary school teaching years

↓

I have never seen a student of mine tantrum that long.

seen student tantrum

↓

And these were full-grown adults

adults full grown

↓

with fully-developed frontal lobes.

developed fully

↓

I thought they were done.

↓

But then, I found this video online.

found online video

↓

It was titled "Fall Out Boy can't stop us."

fall

↓

* Caitlin Clark And Angel Reese *

angel clark reese

↓

* Captain Sully hit some geese *

captain geese sully

↓

* Marijuana legalized *

marijuana

↓

* Price of copper is on the rise *

copper price rise

↓

* Kaepernick takes a knee *

knee takes

↓

* Ozempic cures obesity *

cures obesity

↓

* Y2K was overblown They shut down Guantánamo *

↓

* We didn't start the *

start

↓

I gotta hand it to these jabronis.

hand

↓

'Cause I didn't really like the original,

original

↓

'cause I felt like Billy Joel didn't even try

billy billy-joel joel

↓

to match the lyrics to the video,

lyrics match video

↓

but these guys, they milked the school

school

↓

for every minute of content they could.

content minute

↓

It reminded me of that verse on DMX's "What You Want."

reminded verse

↓

"There was Brenda, LaTisha, Linda, Felicia."

brenda linda

↓

I wasn't mad at it. It was a bop.

↓

Look, at the end of the day, did I like those people?

↓

No. I did not.

↓

But I will admit

admit

↓

that what they did before they left was pretty nice.

left

↓

Thank you all so much for coming here.

coming

↓

Please enjoy a round of drinks on us.

drinks enjoy round

↓

- Johnnie Walker Blue. - No spirits.

blue johnnie spirits walker

↓

Chardonnay, please.

chardonnay

↓

Gosh, we don't have a bottle already open.

bottle gosh open

↓

- Yeah. - Okay. Heineken.

↓

- Well, no imports though. - Yeah.

↓

Jesus Christ.

christ jesus jesus-christ

↓

How about an iced tea?

iced

↓

- Iced tea. Uh, I think we have ice. - Mm-mmm.

iced

↓

Nope. You don't have ice.

nope

↓

- I already checked. And... - Yeah, no.

checked

↓

We're off water altogether.

altogether water

↓

- Sorry. - We're not doing water anymore in the bar.

anymore water

↓

It's a whole thing.

whole

↓

I am so sorry, but why are we here?

↓

- Like, what is this? - Oh, right.

↓

Yes, no. Fair. Um, yeah.

fair

↓

Well, listen, we just wanted to let you know

wanted

↓

that our experience with you really touched us.

experience touched

↓

You know, you blindsided us with your heart

heart

↓

and your care for those children.

care children

↓

And while Frank is sorry that he couldn't be here today,

frank today

↓

he did spring for this gift for your teacher's lounge.

gift lounge spring teachers teachers-lounge

↓

Mac.

↓

A new espresso machine.

espresso machine

↓

Nice, right? We don't even have one of these.

↓

May you be as happy as you are caffeinated.

happy

↓

Maybe they're kinda sweet. That was kinda sweet.

kinda sweet

↓

- Yeah. Yeah. - Yeah.

↓

It wasn't that sweet. Come with me.

sweet

↓

I think they lured us down to their bar so the old one could do this.

lured

↓

He must've ripped out about a hundred feet of copper.

copper feet hundred mustve ripped

↓

But on the bright side,

bright bright-side side

↓

the state was gonna make us move out some old pipes,

pipes state

↓

so actually he saved us a few grand in construction costs.

construction costs grand saved

↓

I'm gonna lose my job if anyone sees this, so burn those tapes.

burn lose sees tapes

↓

- synced and corrected by sot26 - www.addic7ed.com

corrected synced