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Season 2, Episode 17 — My Own Private Practice Guy
OK, you've been avoiding Dr Cox since Jordan told you her baby was his.
#1
⇓
OK, you've been avoiding Dr Cox since Jordan told you her baby was his.
#2
⇓
OK, you've been avoiding Dr Cox since Jordan told you her baby was his.
#3
⇓
This is a sign. It's time to let go of the secret. Find a smooth way in.
#4
⇓
This is a sign. It's time to let go of the secret. Find a smooth way in.
#5
⇓
Hey, Dr Cox! Taking a whizz?
#6
⇓
-We've been over this before, Newbie, eyes front, no talking.
#7
⇓
-We've been over this before, Newbie, eyes front, no talking.
#8
⇓
-OK, fine. I'll just read the wall.
#9
⇓
-OK, fine. I'll just read the wall.
#10
⇓
"JD has a tiny pickle"?
#11
⇓
"JD has a tiny pickle"?
#12
⇓
-Kudos for honesty, there, Newbie, but, again, no talking.
#13
⇓
-Dr Cox, I have to tell you something.
#14
⇓
-Dr Cox, I have to tell you something.
#15
⇓
-Oh! Perry, you pee standing up at work. That is so cute.
#16
⇓
-Oh! Perry, you pee standing up at work. That is so cute.
#17
⇓
Come on. We're on a very tight schedule.
#18
⇓
Come on. We're on a very tight schedule.
#19
⇓
(WHIMPERS) -You know, Jordan,
#20
⇓
with the baby weight you haven't lost,
#21
⇓
with the baby weight you haven't lost,
#22
⇓
I just went ahead and assumed you'd be used to tight things by now.
#23
⇓
I just went ahead and assumed you'd be used to tight things by now.
#24
⇓
-Oh, that's lovely. Huh!
#25
⇓
Well, hello, sailor.
#26
⇓
Well, hello, sailor.
#27
⇓
-Ahoy. -Oh, my goodness, Newbie.
#28
⇓
-Ahoy. -Oh, my goodness, Newbie.
#29
⇓
Are you so uncomfortable with Jordan here
#30
⇓
Are you so uncomfortable with Jordan here
#31
⇓
that you've, in fact, stopped peeing mid-stream?
#32
⇓
-I may have.
#33
⇓
-I may have.
#34
⇓
-Yes! -I wonder why Dr Cox and Jordan got divorced?
#35
⇓
-Yes! -I wonder why Dr Cox and Jordan got divorced?
#36
⇓
They act like they hate each other, but that's for show.
#37
⇓
They act like they hate each other, but that's for show.
#38
⇓
-Yeah, whatever. Are you gonna stretch before we play basketball?
#39
⇓
-Yeah, whatever. Are you gonna stretch before we play basketball?
#40
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-Turk likes to blow off steam by playing basketball before surgery.
#41
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-Turk likes to blow off steam by playing basketball before surgery.
#42
⇓
I always get my ass kicked,...
#43
⇓
..but not today. Grrrrrr.
#44
⇓
..but not today. Grrrrrr.
#45
⇓
-And that's game! (BOTH GRUNT)
#46
⇓
-And that's game! (BOTH GRUNT)
#47
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How the hell did we lose?! We have Chet! -Sorry, man.
#48
⇓
-Chet, you suck!
#49
⇓
-Chet, you suck!
#50
⇓
AAARRRGGGHHH!
#51
⇓
You know what? Some stereotypes are true, Turk. OK?
#52
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You know what? Some stereotypes are true, Turk. OK?
#53
⇓
Just maybe, black people are a little better at basketball. Whatta you say?
#54
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Just maybe, black people are a little better at basketball. Whatta you say?
#55
⇓
-Ha!
#56
⇓
-Ha!
#57
⇓
-Maybe a little. -Y'all got hockey.
#58
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-Maybe a little. -Y'all got hockey.
#59
⇓
# "Superman" - Lazlo Bane
#60
⇓
Why do you think they got divorced?
#61
⇓
Why do you think they got divorced?
#62
⇓
-No idea. I can't believe you peed in front of Jordan. I could not do it.
#63
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-No idea. I can't believe you peed in front of Jordan. I could not do it.
#64
⇓
Paul, my boyfriend, turns the volume up on the TV when I go.
#65
⇓
Paul, my boyfriend, turns the volume up on the TV when I go.
#66
⇓
He's not allowed in the apartment an hour before or after I do twosies.
#67
⇓
He's not allowed in the apartment an hour before or after I do twosies.
#68
⇓
-You're a doctor, stop calling it "twosies."
#69
⇓
-Oh, with patients I say "dookie." Oh, dookie!
#70
⇓
-Oh, with patients I say "dookie." Oh, dookie!
#71
⇓
-Well, now, Maggie!
#72
⇓
I assume you are whiling away the morning
#73
⇓
I assume you are whiling away the morning
#74
⇓
cat-chatting with your gal-pal as you've finished your pre-rounding?
#75
⇓
cat-chatting with your gal-pal as you've finished your pre-rounding?
#76
⇓
-Haven't started yet. -What? -Gotcha! Finished!
#77
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-Haven't started yet. -What? -Gotcha! Finished!
#78
⇓
-Good one, Newbie. My heart is racing. You are a prankster.
#79
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-Good one, Newbie. My heart is racing. You are a prankster.
#80
⇓
-I could tell you stories. -If there's a God, you won't.
#81
⇓
This is Mrs Gracin's chart.
#82
⇓
This is Mrs Gracin's chart.
#83
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Her private practice doctor showed up, so I am off this one.
#84
⇓
Her private practice doctor showed up, so I am off this one.
#85
⇓
-Well, is there anything I need to do for her lung nodule?
#86
⇓
-Oh, I don't know. Start her on 20ccs of "It's not my problem any more!"
#87
⇓
-Oh, I don't know. Start her on 20ccs of "It's not my problem any more!"
#88
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-Great. A pretentious private practice guy
#89
⇓
who'll order me around while he counts his money.
#90
⇓
who'll order me around while he counts his money.
#91
⇓
-Hey! You must be JD! -He knows my name.
#92
⇓
-Hey! You must be JD! -He knows my name.
#93
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-I'm Dr Fisher, Pete. Never call me Petey, we'll be friends for life.
#94
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-I'm Dr Fisher, Pete. Never call me Petey, we'll be friends for life.
#95
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Hey, don't believe me? Already got you a latte, buddy. Look.
#96
⇓
Hey, don't believe me? Already got you a latte, buddy. Look.
#97
⇓
-Thanks! A latte! -That's funny! We got a good one, Sally!
#98
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-Thanks! A latte! -That's funny! We got a good one, Sally!
#99
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-How is that funny? Eh, just go with it.
#100
⇓
I pull pranks, too. Dr Cox was like, "Did you do that pre-rounding?" -
#101
⇓
I pull pranks, too. Dr Cox was like, "Did you do that pre-rounding?" -
#102
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-Sorry to interrupt. Could you get a pulmonary consult for Sally?
#103
⇓
-Sorry to interrupt. Could you get a pulmonary consult for Sally?
#104
⇓
-Yeah, yeah. -Why not do it before?
#105
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-Yeah, yeah. -Why not do it before?
#106
⇓
You weren't sure if you'd be over-stepping your boundaries.
#107
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You weren't sure if you'd be over-stepping your boundaries.
#108
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What if I was an ass with a giant ego, or an ego with a giant ass?
#109
⇓
What if I was an ass with a giant ego, or an ego with a giant ass?
#110
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Stop me, Sally! -Ha! -And you're gonna help me.
#111
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I need you to help me get Sally, here, out of bed,
#112
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I need you to help me get Sally, here, out of bed,
#113
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then I can go back to trying to get her into bed.
#114
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then I can go back to trying to get her into bed.
#115
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-Stop! -You stop, foxy lady!
#116
⇓
You're doing great. Just follow your instincts, OK? And you, don't flirt.
#117
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You're doing great. Just follow your instincts, OK? And you, don't flirt.
#118
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-Wanna make him jealous? -No.
#119
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Thank, thanks a latte! Thank, thank, well, well, well, thanks a lot!
#120
⇓
Thank, thanks a latte! Thank, thank, well, well, well, thanks a lot!
#121
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I, oh, "Thanks a latte"! I got it!
#122
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At a hospital, there's always one sure way to deal with boredom.
#123
⇓
You guys wanna go laugh at the narcoleptic guy?
#124
⇓
I know it sounds insensitive, but let's face it,
#125
⇓
I know it sounds insensitive, but let's face it,
#126
⇓
narcolepsy is a funny condition.
#127
⇓
And it can be triggered by a number of things, like stress.
#128
⇓
And it can be triggered by a number of things, like stress.
#129
⇓
Or anger, from, say,
#130
⇓
Or anger, from, say,
#131
⇓
three double-bogeys in a row. (SPLASH!)
#132
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three double-bogeys in a row. (SPLASH!)
#133
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Or,... in Mr Hilliard's case....
#134
⇓
Or,... in Mr Hilliard's case....
#135
⇓
-Sexual arousal!?
#136
⇓
-I'm going in. (SIGHS)
#137
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-I'm going in. (SIGHS)
#138
⇓
Is falling asleep after sex considered narcolepsy?
#139
⇓
Is falling asleep after sex considered narcolepsy?
#140
⇓
Cos if it is, Mr Roberts got it.
#141
⇓
-OK, first, she's gonna stick her chest out,
#142
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-OK, first, she's gonna stick her chest out,
#143
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and then she'll toss her hair.
#144
⇓
-That's sexy. -And, drop!
#145
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-Oh! Oops!
#146
⇓
-Oh! Oops!
#147
⇓
-Oh, that did it.
#148
⇓
-Oh, that did it.
#149
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-Hell, yeah!
#150
⇓
-Hell, yeah!
#151
⇓
I have a boyfriend, work is going well,
#152
⇓
I have a boyfriend, work is going well,
#153
⇓
I feel cute for the first time in my life,
#154
⇓
my self-esteem cannot be touched!
#155
⇓
my self-esteem cannot be touched!
#156
⇓
-It's been weird since I got engaged.
#157
⇓
-You're right, I'll never get married!
#158
⇓
Message received! -This is about me.
#159
⇓
Message received! -This is about me.
#160
⇓
-Oh, really? -Yeah. -Oh, OK.
#161
⇓
-I don't feel attractive at all lately, like I've lost my spark.
#162
⇓
-I don't feel attractive at all lately, like I've lost my spark.
#163
⇓
-Oh, please! Remember what Kelso said about your hair?
#164
⇓
-Oh, please! Remember what Kelso said about your hair?
#165
⇓
-It makes you look frumpy! -I thought he said clumpy!
#166
⇓
-It makes you look frumpy! -I thought he said clumpy!
#167
⇓
-How is that better?
#168
⇓
-I... -You don't know.
#169
⇓
-I... -You don't know.
#170
⇓
-Morning, boys! -Sir?
#171
⇓
This is where we play. -Funny.
#172
⇓
This is where we play. -Funny.
#173
⇓
I thought this was where we worked.
#174
⇓
I thought this was where we worked.
#175
⇓
-I have a low-anterior resection this afternoon,
#176
⇓
and I'd really like to exercise in order to be at my best.
#177
⇓
and I'd really like to exercise in order to be at my best.
#178
⇓
-Well, I'd like to have grandkids someday,
#179
⇓
-Well, I'd like to have grandkids someday,
#180
⇓
but the last five Christmases, my son brought his roommate Brad home!
#181
⇓
but the last five Christmases, my son brought his roommate Brad home!
#182
⇓
So, you tell me whether life is fair.
#183
⇓
So, you tell me whether life is fair.
#184
⇓
-I can't believe you did your residency here!
#185
⇓
-I can't believe you did your residency here!
#186
⇓
-You kidding me? We lived, we loved, we sang to each other.
#187
⇓
-You kidding me? We lived, we loved, we sang to each other.
#188
⇓
Hey, Laverne, remember the time you and I got a little crazy, right?
#189
⇓
Hey, Laverne, remember the time you and I got a little crazy, right?
#190
⇓
Went to the waterfall, stripped off our scrubs, dove in. Remember?
#191
⇓
Went to the waterfall, stripped off our scrubs, dove in. Remember?
#192
⇓
-Are you hitting the crack-pipe? -That's the magic I'm talking about!
#193
⇓
-Are you hitting the crack-pipe? -That's the magic I'm talking about!
#194
⇓
-Hey, ladies. -You two must know each other.
#195
⇓
-Dr Cox. -Petey.
#196
⇓
-Dr Cox. -Petey.
#197
⇓
-When you're in an awkward situation,
#198
⇓
-When you're in an awkward situation,
#199
⇓
the best thing to do is to go to your happy place.
#200
⇓
the best thing to do is to go to your happy place.
#201
⇓
-Well, it's not uncommon! A lot of people
#202
⇓
keep plants in their apartment. Right, JD?
#203
⇓
keep plants in their apartment. Right, JD?
#204
⇓
(LAUGHS) Oh, Jay! You're so crazy!
#205
⇓
(LAUGHS) Oh, Jay! You're so crazy!
#206
⇓
(PLAYS MAD RIFF)
#207
⇓
-We have a little history. Yeah.
#208
⇓
-We have a little history. Yeah.
#209
⇓
-What's up his pooper? -He's mad cos I went into private practice,
#210
⇓
and he's stuck in this hell hole. -Yeah.
#211
⇓
and he's stuck in this hell hole. -Yeah.
#212
⇓
-That guy was my mentor. I lived and breathed for his approval.
#213
⇓
-That guy was my mentor. I lived and breathed for his approval.
#214
⇓
-That's lame. -I know! Once you learn the tricks, he's easy to deal with.
#215
⇓
-That's lame. -I know! Once you learn the tricks, he's easy to deal with.
#216
⇓
-Tell me about it. (LAUGHS) I'm serious, tell me about it. -Oh!
#217
⇓
-Tell me about it. (LAUGHS) I'm serious, tell me about it. -Oh!
#218
⇓
Oh. Er, well, you know when he gets on his rants, he gets all hyped up,
#219
⇓
Oh. Er, well, you know when he gets on his rants, he gets all hyped up,
#220
⇓
his veins stick out of his neck, and he yells at ya,
#221
⇓
his veins stick out of his neck, and he yells at ya,
#222
⇓
when he's done, just stare him right in the eye,
#223
⇓
and say, "I'm sorry, what were you saying?"
#224
⇓
and say, "I'm sorry, what were you saying?"
#225
⇓
(LAUGHS) It works, trust me.
#226
⇓
-No, I do. How do you get him to stop calling you girl's names?
#227
⇓
-No, I do. How do you get him to stop calling you girl's names?
#228
⇓
-Girl's names? -Oh. Never mind.
#229
⇓
-Girl's names? -Oh. Never mind.
#230
⇓
-Pukers! (BLOWS)
#231
⇓
I gotta get this thing fixed.
#232
⇓
I gotta get this thing fixed.
#233
⇓
-Allow me! May I?
#234
⇓
-Allow me! May I?
#235
⇓
Ah, yep. See, what you got here is a Medi-Com XJ.
#236
⇓
Ah, yep. See, what you got here is a Medi-Com XJ.
#237
⇓
Got a hip-guard on it. It's always coming loose?
#238
⇓
-It is always coming loose! -I've been there, I've seen it,
#239
⇓
-It is always coming loose! -I've been there, I've seen it,
#240
⇓
I fixed it. Give that a try, Missy.
#241
⇓
I fixed it. Give that a try, Missy.
#242
⇓
-Thank you! -Oh, for what? For doing my job?
#243
⇓
-Thank you! -Oh, for what? For doing my job?
#244
⇓
This kinda thing gets me up in the morning.
#245
⇓
That, and the smell of urinal cakes. (LAUGHS)
#246
⇓
That, and the smell of urinal cakes. (LAUGHS)
#247
⇓
Anyway, see you around! Have a good one!
#248
⇓
Anyway, see you around! Have a good one!
#249
⇓
-Back at ya!
#250
⇓
-What are you smiling about?
#251
⇓
-Oh, I just made a new friend.
#252
⇓
-Oh, I just made a new friend.
#253
⇓
(HUMS)
#254
⇓
-This is so unfair of Kelso. Everyone has a way of taking the edge off!
#255
⇓
-This is so unfair of Kelso. Everyone has a way of taking the edge off!
#256
⇓
You and I, we've got basketball.
#257
⇓
You and I, we've got basketball.
#258
⇓
Nurse Roberts has got her stories.
#259
⇓
-A guy named DRK must love Miss PacMan,
#260
⇓
-A guy named DRK must love Miss PacMan,
#261
⇓
cos he's got a high score of 41 million.
#262
⇓
-DRK? Dr Kelso!
#263
⇓
-DRK? Dr Kelso!
#264
⇓
(MAKES COMPUTER GAME SOUNDS)
#265
⇓
(MAKES COMPUTER GAME SOUNDS)
#266
⇓
-Oh, Miss PacMan, I would sex that bow right off your head!
#267
⇓
-Oh, Miss PacMan, I would sex that bow right off your head!
#268
⇓
Eat those dots, you naughty, naughty girl!
#269
⇓
Eat those dots, you naughty, naughty girl!
#270
⇓
-Hey, Dr Cox. -Oh, hey, buddy! I was just thinking about you!
#271
⇓
-Hey, Dr Cox. -Oh, hey, buddy! I was just thinking about you!
#272
⇓
It might be nice to have somebody around here who could help me out.
#273
⇓
It might be nice to have somebody around here who could help me out.
#274
⇓
You know, someone I could call, "My Resident"
#275
⇓
You know, someone I could call, "My Resident"
#276
⇓
and we'd do stuff together, medical stuff. It would just be peaches!
#277
⇓
Then it occurred to me that a guy
#278
⇓
who looked a hell of a lot like you used to be that guy.
#279
⇓
who looked a hell of a lot like you used to be that guy.
#280
⇓
Monica! Just because you have a new buddy
#281
⇓
doesn't mean you can drop all your regular duties.
#282
⇓
And I know I just said "drop your duties,"
#283
⇓
And I know I just said "drop your duties,"
#284
⇓
and, so help me God, if you even smile,
#285
⇓
I will crush you into two little newbie-cubes
#286
⇓
I will crush you into two little newbie-cubes
#287
⇓
and hang you from my rear-view mirror. Whatta you gotta say?
#288
⇓
and hang you from my rear-view mirror. Whatta you gotta say?
#289
⇓
-Just do it!
#290
⇓
-Just do it!
#291
⇓
I'm sorry, did you say something?
#292
⇓
-Welcome to today's lecture,
#293
⇓
-Welcome to today's lecture,
#294
⇓
The Biomechanical Reaction of Dr Cox When He's Not Being Listened To.
#295
⇓
The Biomechanical Reaction of Dr Cox When He's Not Being Listened To.
#296
⇓
Stage one, the jaw-clench. Arrrrrrrrggggggggghhhhhhhh!
#297
⇓
Stage one, the jaw-clench. Arrrrrrrrggggggggghhhhhhhh!
#298
⇓
Quickly followed by stage two, syllable elongation.
#299
⇓
Quickly followed by stage two, syllable elongation.
#300
⇓
-Newbie, I re-he-heally don't have time to repeat myself!
#301
⇓
-Newbie, I re-he-heally don't have time to repeat myself!
#302
⇓
-Finally, stage three. Dr Cox begrudgingly offers some respect,
#303
⇓
-Finally, stage three. Dr Cox begrudgingly offers some respect,
#304
⇓
but distances himself by over using the word "there."
#305
⇓
but distances himself by over using the word "there."
#306
⇓
-But, I gotta give it to you, there, for yanking my chain, there. There!
#307
⇓
-But, I gotta give it to you, there, for yanking my chain, there. There!
#308
⇓
-The young soldier is offered a prize for his courage.
#309
⇓
-The young soldier is offered a prize for his courage.
#310
⇓
Get ready!
#311
⇓
Get ready!
#312
⇓
-I'll tell you what, there, Newbie,
#313
⇓
-I'll tell you what, there, Newbie,
#314
⇓
if you want to stick around
#315
⇓
and help me out with Mrs Riley's pericardial synthesis
#316
⇓
and help me out with Mrs Riley's pericardial synthesis
#317
⇓
after work, that'd be great.
#318
⇓
after work, that'd be great.
#319
⇓
-I knew this was his way of reaching out, but still...
#320
⇓
I have plans tonight. -Oh, what plans?
#321
⇓
I have plans tonight. -Oh, what plans?
#322
⇓
-OK, think of something believable. Grandma died! No, don't do that,
#323
⇓
-OK, think of something believable. Grandma died! No, don't do that,
#324
⇓
if she dies, I'll feel bad. She's no spring chicken.
#325
⇓
if she dies, I'll feel bad. She's no spring chicken.
#326
⇓
I should call her. But whenever we talk,
#327
⇓
I have nothing to say. How about asking how I am?!
#328
⇓
I have nothing to say. How about asking how I am?!
#329
⇓
(WHISTLES) Newbie! My grandma died!
#330
⇓
(WHISTLES) Newbie! My grandma died!
#331
⇓
-Hello, Mr Hilliard.
#332
⇓
-Hey.
#333
⇓
-Hey.
#334
⇓
-Just wanna make sure you're comfortable!
#335
⇓
-Just wanna make sure you're comfortable!
#336
⇓
-Who are you?
#337
⇓
-Who are you?
#338
⇓
-They call me Carla. -OK, Carla it is.
#339
⇓
-They call me Carla. -OK, Carla it is.
#340
⇓
-Mr Hilliard? -Mm-hmm?
#341
⇓
-Do I have something on my...
#342
⇓
-Do I have something on my...
#343
⇓
..lips? -Nope! Totally clean.
#344
⇓
..lips? -Nope! Totally clean.
#345
⇓
-I felt guilty about blowing off Dr Cox to grab a beer with Pete.
#346
⇓
Of course, that was before we got Nancy as our waitress.
#347
⇓
Of course, that was before we got Nancy as our waitress.
#348
⇓
-Nancy, the kid's a doctor, for crying out loud. He saves lives.
#349
⇓
-Nancy, the kid's a doctor, for crying out loud. He saves lives.
#350
⇓
That's worthy of your respect, or at least one drunken weekend in Vegas.
#351
⇓
That's worthy of your respect, or at least one drunken weekend in Vegas.
#352
⇓
-Three-day weekend! -Three days! Columbus day!
#353
⇓
-Three-day weekend! -Three days! Columbus day!
#354
⇓
That's coming up, right? Come on!
#355
⇓
-Everyone deals with problems in their own way.
#356
⇓
-Everyone deals with problems in their own way.
#357
⇓
Some lash out at others,...
#358
⇓
(SIGHS)
#359
⇓
(SIGHS)
#360
⇓
-..some just end up lashing out at themselves.
#361
⇓
-..some just end up lashing out at themselves.
#362
⇓
And some people just try to hide.
#363
⇓
And some people just try to hide.
#364
⇓
-Nancy! Nancy.
#365
⇓
-Unfortunately, that never works.
#366
⇓
Hey, Dr Cox. Look, I'm so sorry I lied to you last night.
#367
⇓
Hey, Dr Cox. Look, I'm so sorry I lied to you last night.
#368
⇓
I should've told you I was out with Pete.
#369
⇓
I should've told you I was out with Pete.
#370
⇓
-Did we just slip into some alternate dimension
#371
⇓
-Did we just slip into some alternate dimension
#372
⇓
where I give a flying ducky about what you say and do?
#373
⇓
-I know he's in private practice, but Pete's actually a really cool guy.
#374
⇓
-I know he's in private practice, but Pete's actually a really cool guy.
#375
⇓
-He is a bad guy, and Newbie,
#376
⇓
-He is a bad guy, and Newbie,
#377
⇓
if you're smart, you'll stay away from him.
#378
⇓
if you're smart, you'll stay away from him.
#379
⇓
-Ohhh, my God!
#380
⇓
You're actually jealous that I'm hanging out with another doctor!
#381
⇓
You're actually jealous that I'm hanging out with another doctor!
#382
⇓
-No, I'm not. -Laverne?
#383
⇓
-No, I'm not. -Laverne?
#384
⇓
-Jealous. -Ta-dow!
#385
⇓
-Look, Marsha, if I were you, I'd drop this jealousy thing right now.
#386
⇓
-Look, Marsha, if I were you, I'd drop this jealousy thing right now.
#387
⇓
-Don't worry about it, champ. It's alright to need me.
#388
⇓
-Don't worry about it, champ. It's alright to need me.
#389
⇓
(GRUNTS) -Touchdown!
#390
⇓
(GRUNTS) -Touchdown!
#391
⇓
Hi, Happy! -I'm hideous.
#392
⇓
Hi, Happy! -I'm hideous.
#393
⇓
I can't even get Todd to make a sex joke. Watch this.
#394
⇓
Hey, Todd? I'm out of extra-long tongue depressors, do you have one?
#395
⇓
Hey, Todd? I'm out of extra-long tongue depressors, do you have one?
#396
⇓
-Sorry, Carla, I'm all out. -He didn't say, "Yeah, in my pants".
#397
⇓
-Sorry, Carla, I'm all out. -He didn't say, "Yeah, in my pants".
#398
⇓
-God! What is so different about me since I got engaged?
#399
⇓
-God! What is so different about me since I got engaged?
#400
⇓
-Wait, I found one. It's not made of wood, but give me a minute!
#401
⇓
Hey, have you checked Mr Oberman for hypertension?
#402
⇓
Because I've got hypertension right here!
#403
⇓
Because I've got hypertension right here!
#404
⇓
-No... way!
#405
⇓
-No... way!
#406
⇓
(GIGGLES) Boobies!
#407
⇓
Charts.
#408
⇓
Charts.
#409
⇓
-I know it was you!
#410
⇓
-You mean this right here?
#411
⇓
-You mean this right here?
#412
⇓
This is mine from home.
#413
⇓
This is mine from home.
#414
⇓
-Forty million, son!
#415
⇓
Do you have any idea how many patients I had to ignore
#416
⇓
Do you have any idea how many patients I had to ignore
#417
⇓
to get that high score? People died!
#418
⇓
-Well, what about me, sir? I need to play basketball.
#419
⇓
-Well, what about me, sir? I need to play basketball.
#420
⇓
Since you lost that game, aren't you more stressed than usual?
#421
⇓
Since you lost that game, aren't you more stressed than usual?
#422
⇓
-Open! Open!
#423
⇓
-Open! Open!
#424
⇓
Open! OPEN!
#425
⇓
(LIFT DINGS)
#426
⇓
(LIFT DINGS)
#427
⇓
-Maybe a little. -So, what do we do now?
#428
⇓
-Maybe a little. -So, what do we do now?
#429
⇓
-Now, this is how you relieve stress.
#430
⇓
-Now, this is how you relieve stress.
#431
⇓
Dammit to hell!
#432
⇓
-You're saying the Janitor's a nice person? -He is such a sweetie.
#433
⇓
-I'm gonna ask him an innocuous little question,
#434
⇓
-I'm gonna ask him an innocuous little question,
#435
⇓
and his answer will be filled with hate. Filled with it! How's it going?
#436
⇓
and his answer will be filled with hate. Filled with it! How's it going?
#437
⇓
-Very well, sir. Thanks for asking. How are you?
#438
⇓
-Very well, sir. Thanks for asking. How are you?
#439
⇓
-Do you not see the hate? -What is wrong with you?
#440
⇓
-Do you not see the hate? -What is wrong with you?
#441
⇓
-That was a good one. -I think so.
#442
⇓
-That was a good one. -I think so.
#443
⇓
Alright, go. Hold it. Nah.
#444
⇓
-He's doing it!
#445
⇓
-He's doing it!
#446
⇓
-What's the deal, Alpha Dog? You ever gonna cut me some slack?
#447
⇓
-What's the deal, Alpha Dog? You ever gonna cut me some slack?
#448
⇓
-Petey, Petey, Petey, Petey, Petey, Petey...
#449
⇓
-Petey, Petey, Petey, Petey, Petey, Petey...
#450
⇓
-OK, good answer. Look, er,
#451
⇓
I know you're seeing Jordan again, I just wanted to say, good for you.
#452
⇓
I know you're seeing Jordan again, I just wanted to say, good for you.
#453
⇓
-Would you like to know what'd be good for you?
#454
⇓
-Would you like to know what'd be good for you?
#455
⇓
-More bran in my diet? -How about you never mention Jordan again?
#456
⇓
-More bran in my diet? -How about you never mention Jordan again?
#457
⇓
-Do you mind if I turn on CNN?
#458
⇓
Grandma bought me stock, I wanna see how it's doing.
#459
⇓
Grandma bought me stock, I wanna see how it's doing.
#460
⇓
-Look at Rockefeller. Pass me the remote, buddy.
#461
⇓
-Look at Rockefeller. Pass me the remote, buddy.
#462
⇓
-Cool! These guys are finally starting to get along.
#463
⇓
(CRASH!) Or not.
#464
⇓
(CRASH!) Or not.
#465
⇓
-No big deal! I'll, er, you know,
#466
⇓
do one of these, change the channel.
#467
⇓
do one of these, change the channel.
#468
⇓
-Or we could just leave it on this station.
#469
⇓
-Mr Hilliard, I like my body.
#470
⇓
-OK. -I didn't always.
#471
⇓
-OK. -I didn't always.
#472
⇓
When I was ten, my swim coach told me my butt stuck out of the water.
#473
⇓
When I was ten, my swim coach told me my butt stuck out of the water.
#474
⇓
But now? I like it when my boyfriend looks and my wagon
#475
⇓
But now? I like it when my boyfriend looks and my wagon
#476
⇓
and goes "BAM!", you know? I'm OK with my curves.
#477
⇓
Women inject God-knows-what into their face to have lips like mine!
#478
⇓
Mr Hilliard! I can hop out of the shower and look at my naked body
#479
⇓
Mr Hilliard! I can hop out of the shower and look at my naked body
#480
⇓
for ten seconds without losing it, that's more than most women!
#481
⇓
for ten seconds without losing it, that's more than most women!
#482
⇓
Still, when I can't make you fall asleep,
#483
⇓
Still, when I can't make you fall asleep,
#484
⇓
it's like hearing my swim coach again,
#485
⇓
it's like hearing my swim coach again,
#486
⇓
and my body doesn't deserve that.
#487
⇓
-What do you want me to do? -Fall asleep.
#488
⇓
-What do you want me to do? -Fall asleep.
#489
⇓
-I'm not attracted to you! -WHY!?
#490
⇓
-You remind me of my sister. -But I'm not your sister!
#491
⇓
-You remind me of my sister. -But I'm not your sister!
#492
⇓
That's what I'm talking about.
#493
⇓
(EXHALES) Had to be done.
#494
⇓
(EXHALES) Had to be done.
#495
⇓
-OK. Terrific. Grown-ups tackle each other all the time.
#496
⇓
-OK. Terrific. Grown-ups tackle each other all the time.
#497
⇓
Perry, I can't change what already happened,
#498
⇓
Perry, I can't change what already happened,
#499
⇓
but believe me, I never meant to come between you and anyone.
#500
⇓
-Watching Dr Cox and Pete fight over me was,
#501
⇓
-Watching Dr Cox and Pete fight over me was,
#502
⇓
aw, hell, I'll say it, it was awesome!
#503
⇓
aw, hell, I'll say it, it was awesome!
#504
⇓
-You went ahead and took something that did not belong to you.
#505
⇓
-You went ahead and took something that did not belong to you.
#506
⇓
-A bit possessive, but I'm flattered.
#507
⇓
-Worse than that, you did it knowing just exactly how I felt about her.
#508
⇓
-Worse than that, you did it knowing just exactly how I felt about her.
#509
⇓
-Ah, he just wouldn't be Dr Cox if he didn't refer to me as a her.
#510
⇓
-Ah, he just wouldn't be Dr Cox if he didn't refer to me as a her.
#511
⇓
-Hey, for what it's worth, I didn't make the first move.
#512
⇓
-Hey, for what it's worth, I didn't make the first move.
#513
⇓
-That's a lie! You bought me a latte!
#514
⇓
-That's a lie! You bought me a latte!
#515
⇓
Hey, guys.
#516
⇓
Hey, guys.
#517
⇓
-We were having problems.
#518
⇓
Problems that you knew all about because I confided in you.
#519
⇓
Problems that you knew all about because I confided in you.
#520
⇓
What did you do? You used it to get Jordan into bed, didn't you?
#521
⇓
What did you do? You used it to get Jordan into bed, didn't you?
#522
⇓
Didn't you?
#523
⇓
Didn't you?
#524
⇓
-Perry, come on. -Go.
#525
⇓
-And the reason Dr Cox and his wife got divorced became abundantly clear.
#526
⇓
-And the reason Dr Cox and his wife got divorced became abundantly clear.
#527
⇓
-Yes! Get in there!
#528
⇓
-Yes! Get in there!
#529
⇓
Say it! -I'm your bitch.
#530
⇓
Say it! -I'm your bitch.
#531
⇓
-Don't be too hard on yourself, sir!
#532
⇓
-Don't be too hard on yourself, sir!
#533
⇓
You only been playing this game for 56 years!
#534
⇓
-Dr Kelso, is this young man a guest of yours?
#535
⇓
-Dr Kelso, is this young man a guest of yours?
#536
⇓
-Dave, I've never seen him before in my life.
#537
⇓
-Dave, I've never seen him before in my life.
#538
⇓
-Really? -Dave,...
#539
⇓
-Really? -Dave,...
#540
⇓
Hey, man, you, you don't gotta... -Oh, yeah, I do.
#541
⇓
Hey, man, you, you don't gotta... -Oh, yeah, I do.
#542
⇓
Don't you run from me! Don't! Hey!
#543
⇓
Don't you run from me! Don't! Hey!
#544
⇓
-Dr Kelso!
#545
⇓
-Dr Kelso!
#546
⇓
Hey, hey! Jack Daniels! What's cracking?
#547
⇓
My hot cousin's volleyball team has a game tonight,
#548
⇓
My hot cousin's volleyball team has a game tonight,
#549
⇓
tall girls, tiny shorts, you in?
#550
⇓
-Er, I think I'm gonna pass.
#551
⇓
-Er, I think I'm gonna pass.
#552
⇓
-Oh, you're still in Perr-a-reeno's corner. But that's OK, buddy.
#553
⇓
-Oh, you're still in Perr-a-reeno's corner. But that's OK, buddy.
#554
⇓
Just a word to the wise. Just be careful who you hitch your wagon to.
#555
⇓
Just a word to the wise. Just be careful who you hitch your wagon to.
#556
⇓
I mean that. Yikes!
#557
⇓
I mean that. Yikes!
#558
⇓
I gotta go, OK? Hi! Could I buy you a house?
#559
⇓
I gotta go, OK? Hi! Could I buy you a house?
#560
⇓
-I guess sometimes it comes down to loyalty.
#561
⇓
Hey, Dr Cox! -Still no talking in the bathroom, Newbie.
#562
⇓
Hey, Dr Cox! -Still no talking in the bathroom, Newbie.
#563
⇓
You know what's weird? -That you're allowed to talk?
#564
⇓
You know what's weird? -That you're allowed to talk?
#565
⇓
-I never blamed Jordan. I was a chief resident, I was here all the time,
#566
⇓
-I never blamed Jordan. I was a chief resident, I was here all the time,
#567
⇓
and I always made damn sure she knew she came second.
#568
⇓
and I always made damn sure she knew she came second.
#569
⇓
But, God almighty, I'm trying harder this time.
#570
⇓
But, God almighty, I'm trying harder this time.
#571
⇓
I just hope I'm doing the right thing, you know?
#572
⇓
-Who cares if Jordan wants it a secret?
#573
⇓
-Who cares if Jordan wants it a secret?
#574
⇓
Tell him it's his baby! Scream it from the mountains!
#575
⇓
Tell him it's his baby! Scream it from the mountains!
#576
⇓
Dr Cox!
#577
⇓
-Oh, there you are! -Hey, babe. -Hi, handsome.
#578
⇓
-Oh, there you are! -Hey, babe. -Hi, handsome.
#579
⇓
How are you?
#580
⇓
Oh!
#581
⇓
Oh!
#582
⇓
Hello, DJ.
#583
⇓
-Hey, Jordan. How ya doin'?
#584
⇓
-Hey, Jordan. How ya doin'?
#585
⇓
-Oh! -Around here, you have to grab hold of the littlest victories.
#586
⇓
-Oh! -Around here, you have to grab hold of the littlest victories.
#587
⇓
Whether it's victories over your insecurities,...
#588
⇓
-Doc, Doc, Dr Kelso?
#589
⇓
-..or security's victories over you.
#590
⇓
-..or security's victories over you.
#591
⇓
-Dr Kelso!
#592
⇓
-Either way,
#593
⇓
you gotta choose your battles.
#594
⇓
you gotta choose your battles.
#595
⇓
I want you to tell her the truth, dammit.
#596
⇓
You're a surly, devious, horrible excuse for a human being!
#597
⇓
You're a surly, devious, horrible excuse for a human being!
#598
⇓
Who's that?
#599
⇓
Who's that?
#600
⇓
-It's my son. -Oh, my God, JD!
#601
⇓
-It's my son. -Oh, my God, JD!
#602
⇓
-I'm sorry. I didn't see him there. -No, no, no, I'm glad he heard it.
#603
⇓
-I'm sorry. I didn't see him there. -No, no, no, I'm glad he heard it.
#604
⇓
I think it's important he sees how the world treats people like us.
#605
⇓
I think it's important he sees how the world treats people like us.
#606
⇓
-I'm so sorry.
#607
⇓
-I'm so sorry.
#608
⇓
-Who the hell are you?
#609
⇓
-Who the hell are you?
#610
⇓
Go on, beat it.
#611
⇓
Go on, beat it.
#612
⇓
Scram.
#613
⇓
All right, stick around.
#614
⇓
All right, stick around.
#615
⇓
Edited by Access Innovation Media www.ai-media.tv
#616
⇓
Edited by Access Innovation Media www.ai-media.tv
#617
⇓
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