Home » Scrubs » S02E06 — My Big Brother

Scrubs

Season 2, Episode 6 — My Big Brother

-How about this one? -You want to get a clear shower curtain?

#1

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-How about this one? -You want to get a clear shower curtain?

#2

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Why don't I just nude up in the living room?

#3

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Why don't I just nude up in the living room?

#4

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-I could always doodle in chest hairs right about where you stand.

#5

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-I could always doodle in chest hairs right about where you stand.

#6

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-I have a chest hair. I named him Clancy.

#7

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-I have a chest hair. I named him Clancy.

#8

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'And then it happened.' -Can I help you, sir?

#9

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'Sir. Sir. Sir. Sir.'

#10

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-I can't believe she called me "sir." -She called me "mister."

#11

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-I can't believe she called me "sir." -She called me "mister."

#12

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-Maybe it's because you're bald. -I'm not bald, I shave my head.

#13

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-Maybe it's because you're bald. -I'm not bald, I shave my head.

#14

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-Maybe it's because you're bald. -I'm not bald, I shave my head.

#15

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-Well, then let it grow back. -Careful, honey.

#16

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-We're practically kids. -Really? What are you doing for Halloween tomorrow night?

#17

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-We're practically kids. -Really? What are you doing for Halloween tomorrow night?

#18

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-We're practically kids. -Really? What are you doing for Halloween tomorrow night?

#19

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-We used to dress up as pigs and hit every bar in town.

#20

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-Yeah, you have not lived until you have seen a drunken pig do the robot.

#21

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-Yeah, you have not lived until you have seen a drunken pig do the robot.

#22

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(BOTH MIMIC ROBOTS)

#23

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(BOTH MIMIC ROBOTS)

#24

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-She asked what you're doing this Halloween.

#25

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-We got plans. -Big plans. -Watch TV and sleep?

#26

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-We got plans. -Big plans. -Watch TV and sleep?

#27

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-Yeah, pretty much. -I may take a bath first.

#28

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-Yeah, pretty much. -I may take a bath first.

#29

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-Bubbles? -Gimme some.

#30

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'It was sad, cos I started to think I'd never feel like a kid again.' -Hey, little brother!

#31

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'It was sad, cos I started to think I'd never feel like a kid again.' -Hey, little brother!

#32

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'It was sad, cos I started to think I'd never feel like a kid again.' -Hey, little brother!

#33

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It's the headlocking Dan. -What are you doing here?!

#34

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-Vivian, I was just going to ask you the exact same question,

#35

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-Vivian, I was just going to ask you the exact same question,

#36

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seeing as how I paged you four minutes and 38 seconds ago.

#37

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seeing as how I paged you four minutes and 38 seconds ago.

#38

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-This is my big brother, Dan. He just showed up.

#39

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-This is my big brother, Dan. He just showed up.

#40

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-Four minutes and 44 seconds.

#41

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-Four minutes and 44 seconds.

#42

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-Easy there, chief.

#43

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Why don't we have a nurse pour you a glass of calm-down juice?

#44

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Why don't we have a nurse pour you a glass of calm-down juice?

#45

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-Dan, uh-uh.

#46

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-Newbie, I found I couldn't sleep last night,

#47

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-Newbie, I found I couldn't sleep last night,

#48

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so I started to make a list of things that annoy me more than you.

#49

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so I started to make a list of things that annoy me more than you.

#50

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so I started to make a list of things that annoy me more than you.

#51

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Anyway, I came up with people who call Wednesdays "hump day" and all Sandra Bullock's movies.

#52

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Anyway, I came up with people who call Wednesdays "hump day" and all Sandra Bullock's movies.

#53

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But now I'm thrilled to announce your brother tops the list. -Chief, is there an intermission?

#54

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But now I'm thrilled to announce your brother tops the list. -Chief, is there an intermission?

#55

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But now I'm thrilled to announce your brother tops the list. -Chief, is there an intermission?

#56

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I gotta go take a whiz.

#57

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I gotta go take a whiz.

#58

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I gotta go take a whiz.

#59

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Actually, why don't you tell me what you are keen on? -Oh, Dan, no.

#60

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Actually, why don't you tell me what you are keen on? -Oh, Dan, no.

#61

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-Where's the crapper?

#62

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-What brings you to town?

#63

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-Some guy hired me to fly here and drive his Mercedes back.

#64

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-Some guy hired me to fly here and drive his Mercedes back.

#65

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It's an easy way to make extra cash. -And you get to hang out with Bambi.

#66

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It's an easy way to make extra cash. -And you get to hang out with Bambi.

#67

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'Maybe he'll let that go.' -Bambi?

#68

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'Maybe he'll let that go.' -Bambi?

#69

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-It's a term of endearment that only Carla uses. -I respect that, Bambi.

#70

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-It's a term of endearment that only Carla uses. -I respect that, Bambi.

#71

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-You do not want to get on Bambi's bad side and suffer the wrath of Bambi.

#72

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-You do not want to get on Bambi's bad side and suffer the wrath of Bambi.

#73

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-Why are you here?

#74

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-Room 310's tests came back negative. You can give him the good news.

#75

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-Room 310's tests came back negative. You can give him the good news.

#76

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-Let me do it. -What?!

#77

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-Let me do it. -What?!

#78

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-I can totally be a doctor. -I can't let you!

#79

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-I won't call you Bambi any more.

#80

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-I won't call you Bambi any more.

#81

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It was touch and go there for a while, but you pulled through.

#82

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It was touch and go there for a while, but you pulled through.

#83

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We'll get you out of here today, but keep an eye on those Rickles.

#84

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We'll get you out of here today, but keep an eye on those Rickles.

#85

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-Rickles is my last name. -You bet it is. Do you have kids?

#86

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-Rickles is my last name. -You bet it is. Do you have kids?

#87

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-Yeah, two. -Let's keep an eye on the little Rickles.

#88

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Children are our future -Doctor, an emergency.

#89

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Children are our future -Doctor, an emergency.

#90

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We need you right away. -Dammit, Bambi, I'm busy.

#91

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We need you right away. -Dammit, Bambi, I'm busy.

#92

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It's so hard to find a good male nurse these days. Am I right?

#93

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It's so hard to find a good male nurse these days. Am I right?

#94

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# I can't do this all on my own

#95

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# I can't do this all on my own

#96

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# No, I know, I'm no superman

#97

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# No, I know, I'm no superman

#98

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# I'm no superman #

#99

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# I'm no superman #

#100

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-Dan wasn't just the captain of every team, he was like the mayor of our high school.

#101

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-Dan wasn't just the captain of every team, he was like the mayor of our high school.

#102

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-Dan wasn't just the captain of every team, he was like the mayor of our high school.

#103

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The jocks dug him, the burnouts dug him, the nerds, like, worshipped him.

#104

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The jocks dug him, the burnouts dug him, the nerds, like, worshipped him.

#105

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-What about you? -He mentioned the nerds. -Why hurt me?

#106

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-I thought I'd be cool in school,

#107

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-I thought I'd be cool in school,

#108

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but my dad made me play the tuba in the band and I developed massive forearms.

#109

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but my dad made me play the tuba in the band and I developed massive forearms.

#110

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At the prom my silk gloves exploded off me like I was the Incredible Hulk.

#111

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At the prom my silk gloves exploded off me like I was the Incredible Hulk.

#112

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-I think it's sexy to dance with a woman who can lift her partner over her head. (LAUGHS)

#113

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-I think it's sexy to dance with a woman who can lift her partner over her head. (LAUGHS)

#114

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'It's nice when your friends -and family click.'

#115

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'It's nice when your friends -and family click.'

#116

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'It makes you feel like - Wait, is she still laughing?!'

#117

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-Huh?

#118

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(BOTH GROWL)

#119

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(BOTH GROWL)

#120

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Stop your stupid laughing, it makes you look like a whore!

#121

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Stop your stupid laughing, it makes you look like a whore!

#122

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Joking.

#123

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-I appreciate everything you did for my husband.

#124

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The funeral's tomorrow, if you can attend.

#125

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The funeral's tomorrow, if you can attend.

#126

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-Unfortunately, I'm in surgery all day. I'm sorry for your loss.

#127

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-Unfortunately, I'm in surgery all day. I'm sorry for your loss.

#128

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-Dodging the funeral. Nice(!)

#129

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-Dodging the funeral. Nice(!)

#130

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-Excuse me? -Just a veteran move from the baby-faced sophomore.

#131

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-Excuse me? -Just a veteran move from the baby-faced sophomore.

#132

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-"I'm sorry for your loss" was a little Hallmarky for me,

#133

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-"I'm sorry for your loss" was a little Hallmarky for me,

#134

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but darn it all if you're not showing just a ton of promise.

#135

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but darn it all if you're not showing just a ton of promise.

#136

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-If I could be there, I'd be there.

#137

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-If I could be there, I'd be there.

#138

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Wait a second, you treated him, right. So you should want to go too, right?.

#139

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Wait a second, you treated him, right. So you should want to go too, right?.

#140

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-Hey, Gandhi, I attended that poor vegetable's funeral

#141

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-Hey, Gandhi, I attended that poor vegetable's funeral

#142

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every single time I set foot in his room over the last six weeks.

#143

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every single time I set foot in his room over the last six weeks.

#144

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Thank God the family moved him over to surgery

#145

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Thank God the family moved him over to surgery

#146

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-where you guys were good enough to help him kick that nasty oxygen habit he had.

#147

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-where you guys were good enough to help him kick that nasty oxygen habit he had.

#148

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-That's great, make jokes.

#149

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-That's great, make jokes.

#150

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I wish I could be an insensitive, cynical, robo-doc like you,

#151

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I wish I could be an insensitive, cynical, robo-doc like you,

#152

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but unfortunately I don't hate the world enough.

#153

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but unfortunately I don't hate the world enough.

#154

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You know what I'm saying, chief?

#155

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-Would people please stop calling me "chief"! -Hey, numb nuts.

#156

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-Would people please stop calling me "chief"! -Hey, numb nuts.

#157

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-Would people please stop calling me "chief"! -Hey, numb nuts.

#158

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-Dan, do you remember when we were kids

#159

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and every Halloween you used to try and scare the crap out of me.

#160

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and every Halloween you used to try and scare the crap out of me.

#161

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(YELLS) (SCREAMS)

#162

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(YELLS) (SCREAMS)

#163

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-Yeah, I remember that.

#164

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So while I'm here, we should play some Frisbee golf.

#165

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So while I'm here, we should play some Frisbee golf.

#166

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We should maybe give Dad a call. We should definitely make sure I sleep with that Elliot chick.

#167

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We should maybe give Dad a call. We should definitely make sure I sleep with that Elliot chick.

#168

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We should maybe give Dad a call. We should definitely make sure I sleep with that Elliot chick.

#169

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-That's a little weird for me,

#170

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cos I don't know if you know this or not, but we used to be intimate.

#171

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cos I don't know if you know this or not, but we used to be intimate.

#172

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-Intimate? What'd you do, bathe her?. -Yeah, once, but she was wearing a swimsuit.

#173

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-Intimate? What'd you do, bathe her?. -Yeah, once, but she was wearing a swimsuit.

#174

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-Intimate? What'd you do, bathe her?. -Yeah, once, but she was wearing a swimsuit.

#175

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-I get it. I'll back off. It's gonna be tough though, cos sounds kinda wild. Gisssh! -Gisssh!

#176

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-I get it. I'll back off. It's gonna be tough though, cos sounds kinda wild. Gisssh! -Gisssh!

#177

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-You can't teach it.

#178

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-You can't teach it.

#179

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-Come on. Let's go. You got an opposable thumb, you can use it. God, I hate Halloween!

#180

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-Come on. Let's go. You got an opposable thumb, you can use it. God, I hate Halloween!

#181

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-Come on. Let's go. You got an opposable thumb, you can use it. God, I hate Halloween!

#182

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-Come on. Let's go. You got an opposable thumb, you can use it. God, I hate Halloween!

#183

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You mean the popcorn balls and the deformed lollipops?

#184

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I mean, honestly, where do you get this crap anyway? -I made it.

#185

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I mean, honestly, where do you get this crap anyway? -I made it.

#186

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If you want name-brand candy, my fist is packed with peanuts.

#187

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If you want name-brand candy, my fist is packed with peanuts.

#188

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-Of course it is. -Oh, what's the matter? Did Raggedy Ann scare you?

#189

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-Of course it is. -Oh, what's the matter? Did Raggedy Ann scare you?

#190

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-Of course it is. -Oh, what's the matter? Did Raggedy Ann scare you?

#191

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-What are you, a rat? (SNARLS)

#192

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-Don't listen to him, baby. -I never do.

#193

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-Don't listen to him, baby. -I never do.

#194

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-Your intern asked for a surgical consult on Mr Carney.

#195

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-Your intern asked for a surgical consult on Mr Carney.

#196

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-Yeah. -I suggest we do a fem-pop bypass.

#197

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-Mr Carney's a frail old man who'd probably snap in half from a light sponge bath.

#198

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-Mr Carney's a frail old man who'd probably snap in half from a light sponge bath.

#199

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-Mr Carney's a frail old man who'd probably snap in half from a light sponge bath.

#200

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-If we do surgery, we could improve his quality of life.

#201

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-If we do surgery, we could improve his quality of life.

#202

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-The guy's a thousand.

#203

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Is he gonna go to Europe, open up a cafe, and finally meet that 900-year-old girl of his dreams(?)

#204

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Is he gonna go to Europe, open up a cafe, and finally meet that 900-year-old girl of his dreams(?)

#205

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Is he gonna go to Europe, open up a cafe, and finally meet that 900-year-old girl of his dreams(?)

#206

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-I've made my recommendation.

#207

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-You stood up for what you believe in and I respect that. $20 says you kill him.

#208

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-You stood up for what you believe in and I respect that. $20 says you kill him.

#209

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-You're on! -You got it, baby.

#210

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(GROANS) Can I get some sugar over here?

#211

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(GROANS) Can I get some sugar over here?

#212

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-Can anyone tell me the dermatologic condition associated with rhinophyma? Dr Murphy?

#213

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-Can anyone tell me the dermatologic condition associated with rhinophyma? Dr Murphy?

#214

⇓

-Could it be psoriasis?

#215

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-Could it be psoriasis?

#216

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-And yet further proof that the clown costume is redundant.

#217

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-And yet further proof that the clown costume is redundant.

#218

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Now, if any of you other revellers get the urge to dress up on this the mother of all non-holidays,

#219

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Now, if any of you other revellers get the urge to dress up on this the mother of all non-holidays,

#220

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Now, if any of you other revellers get the urge to dress up on this the mother of all non-holidays,

#221

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please consider me the razor blade in your caramel apple.

#222

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please consider me the razor blade in your caramel apple.

#223

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We're professionals, dammit!

#224

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You know, it's nothing personal, son, you just make me sick.

#225

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You know, it's nothing personal, son, you just make me sick.

#226

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-He called me "son." He called me "son."

#227

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-He called me "son." He called me "son."

#228

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-Score. -Oh, yeah!

#229

⇓

-Score. -Oh, yeah!

#230

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-Are you going to lunch with your brother?

#231

⇓

-Are you going to lunch with your brother?

#232

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-Yeah. I would have invited you, but I made the reservation for two.

#233

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-Yeah. I would have invited you, but I made the reservation for two.

#234

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-So call and change it to three. -I won't mess with that hostess, she uses sharp tones.

#235

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-So call and change it to three. -I won't mess with that hostess, she uses sharp tones.

#236

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-Yeah, right. Three seconds to give me the real reason, otherwise I'm coming.

#237

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-Yeah, right. Three seconds to give me the real reason, otherwise I'm coming.

#238

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Three, two, one.

#239

⇓

Three, two, one.

#240

⇓

-Because I need special time with my brother. Argh!

#241

⇓

-Trick. -Excuse me?

#242

⇓

-Trick. -Excuse me?

#243

⇓

-You gotta be wondering, "Am I gonna get a trick, or am I gonna get a treat?"

#244

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-You gotta be wondering, "Am I gonna get a trick, or am I gonna get a treat?"

#245

⇓

-You gotta be wondering, "Am I gonna get a trick, or am I gonna get a treat?"

#246

⇓

You'll be getting a trick. -Whatever.

#247

⇓

You'll be getting a trick. -Whatever.

#248

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-It'll be fast and you won't even know it's me.

#249

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-You just told me it was gonna be you.

#250

⇓

-You just told me it was gonna be you.

#251

⇓

-You'll still have your doubts.

#252

⇓

And the best part is you're gonna be nervous all day about it,

#253

⇓

And the best part is you're gonna be nervous all day about it,

#254

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(SPOOKILY) cos it can happen at any time.

#255

⇓

(SIGHS)

#256

⇓

(SIGHS)

#257

⇓

-Like now! (SCREAMS)

#258

⇓

-That wasn't it. Fun though.

#259

⇓

-That wasn't it. Fun though.

#260

⇓

-False alarm, boys.

#261

⇓

-False alarm, boys.

#262

⇓

-Alright, here we go, Mr Carney.

#263

⇓

-Alright, here we go, Mr Carney.

#264

⇓

Doctor Wen, I want you to stay focused, OK?

#265

⇓

Doctor Wen, I want you to stay focused, OK?

#266

⇓

I want Doctor Wen to be Doctor Zen, man.

#267

⇓

I want Doctor Wen to be Doctor Zen, man.

#268

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-Christopher, after 15 years and over 10,000 surgeries, I think I can do without the pep talk.

#269

⇓

-Christopher, after 15 years and over 10,000 surgeries, I think I can do without the pep talk.

#270

⇓

-Message received, sir.

#271

⇓

-Message received, sir.

#272

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(WHISPERS) I believe in you.

#273

⇓

(WHISPERS) I believe in you.

#274

⇓

'So, we're having lunch together, -it doesn't have to be awkward.'

#275

⇓

'So, we're having lunch together, -it doesn't have to be awkward.'

#276

⇓

-What's my bro like in the sack? -What?! -Don't answer that.

#277

⇓

-What's my bro like in the sack? -What?! -Don't answer that.

#278

⇓

-He tries hard, but there's room for improvement. Take a sip of your drink. (LAUGHS)

#279

⇓

-He tries hard, but there's room for improvement. Take a sip of your drink. (LAUGHS)

#280

⇓

-Hey! -What? I was thirsty.

#281

⇓

-Hey! -What? I was thirsty.

#282

⇓

-Alright, fine. Ask me if she could be better.

#283

⇓

What? Thirsty.

#284

⇓

What? Thirsty.

#285

⇓

-I wasn't thirsty.

#286

⇓

-Stable condition.

#287

⇓

-Stable condition.

#288

⇓

What time is it? Time to dance.

#289

⇓

Come on. With it now. Come on. Bring it back.

#290

⇓

Come on. With it now. Come on. Bring it back.

#291

⇓

Come on. Hee-hee! Whoop! Pay the man.

#292

⇓

Come on. Hee-hee! Whoop! Pay the man.

#293

⇓

-There you go.

#294

⇓

-There you go.

#295

⇓

-Hello, Mr Jackson.

#296

⇓

I wanna introduce you to the Washington brothers.

#297

⇓

I wanna introduce you to the Washington brothers.

#298

⇓

Ya'll get nice and cosy up in my wallet. (LAUGHS)

#299

⇓

Ya'll get nice and cosy up in my wallet. (LAUGHS)

#300

⇓

-Before you get too high up on your horse, Tonto,

#301

⇓

-Before you get too high up on your horse, Tonto,

#302

⇓

I feel it's my duty to remind you of something.

#303

⇓

-Hmm? -See, you just made a $20 bet on whether a fellow human being would live or die.

#304

⇓

-Hmm? -See, you just made a $20 bet on whether a fellow human being would live or die.

#305

⇓

Now, tell me, just exactly how's that make you feel, Mr Sensitive? Pretty good?

#306

⇓

Now, tell me, just exactly how's that make you feel, Mr Sensitive? Pretty good?

#307

⇓

All the best(!)

#308

⇓

(MONITORS BEEP)

#309

⇓

(MONITORS BEEP)

#310

⇓

-So, why did you drive someone else's car across country?

#311

⇓

-So, why did you drive someone else's car across country?

#312

⇓

-It is a great way to make $300.

#313

⇓

-It is a great way to make $300.

#314

⇓

-What do you do that you can take the time off? -I tend bar.

#315

⇓

-What do you do that you can take the time off? -I tend bar.

#316

⇓

-But it's like -the -bar.

#317

⇓

It's where all the college kids and everybody goes. I go there when I'm home.

#318

⇓

It's where all the college kids and everybody goes. I go there when I'm home.

#319

⇓

-You still live in your hometown?

#320

⇓

-You still live in your hometown?

#321

⇓

-I take care of my Mom's place, I stay with her.

#322

⇓

-Well, Dan, you don't stay with her.

#323

⇓

-Well, Dan, you don't stay with her.

#324

⇓

He's not like Greg Brady living in the attic with beads for a door.

#325

⇓

He's not like Greg Brady living in the attic with beads for a door.

#326

⇓

He totally has his own space.

#327

⇓

He totally has his own space.

#328

⇓

More like Kirk Cameron in Growing Pains when he lived above the garage with Boner.

#329

⇓

More like Kirk Cameron in Growing Pains when he lived above the garage with Boner.

#330

⇓

Anyone? Am I the only one? Boner? No?

#331

⇓

Anyone? Am I the only one? Boner? No?

#332

⇓

'That's when I realised that even though I was jealous,

#333

⇓

'That's when I realised that even though I was jealous,

#334

⇓

that's not why I was trying to keep Elliot and Dan apart.' Dan's doing great.

#335

⇓

that's not why I was trying to keep Elliot and Dan apart.' Dan's doing great.

#336

⇓

'The real reason was that I was ashamed of my brother. And I think he knew it, too.'

#337

⇓

'The real reason was that I was ashamed of my brother. And I think he knew it, too.'

#338

⇓

-You two should probably get back to work.

#339

⇓

-You two should probably get back to work.

#340

⇓

-These heated seats are amazing. They make my butt tingle.

#341

⇓

-These heated seats are amazing. They make my butt tingle.

#342

⇓

-Every time you say that an angel gets her wings.

#343

⇓

It's a sweet ride, but as JD has made clear, I could never afford this car.

#344

⇓

It's a sweet ride, but as JD has made clear, I could never afford this car.

#345

⇓

It's a sweet ride, but as JD has made clear, I could never afford this car.

#346

⇓

-Would you please just let it go?

#347

⇓

-So, I'll see ya.

#348

⇓

-Not if I see you first. (LAUGHS)

#349

⇓

'I knew my brother would handle this -the way he always did when we had a deep emotional conflict.'

#350

⇓

'I knew my brother would handle this -the way he always did when we had a deep emotional conflict.'

#351

⇓

'I knew my brother would handle this -the way he always did when we had a deep emotional conflict.'

#352

⇓

-Can you work the windows from there? -No. Why?

#353

⇓

(BREAKS WIND) Oh, God!

#354

⇓

(BREAKS WIND) Oh, God!

#355

⇓

Please tell me that was the horn.

#356

⇓

-There's your heated seat, my friend. -Oh, God! It's everywhere!

#357

⇓

-There's your heated seat, my friend. -Oh, God! It's everywhere!

#358

⇓

-Do you have any idea how long I've been waiting on you?

#359

⇓

-Do you have any idea how long I've been waiting on you?

#360

⇓

If you're not here in 30 minutes, I expect a free dead body or at least some garlic knots.

#361

⇓

If you're not here in 30 minutes, I expect a free dead body or at least some garlic knots.

#362

⇓

-I think that's extremely insensitive.

#363

⇓

-I don't think so. Mrs Parker, you care to weigh in?

#364

⇓

-I don't think so. Mrs Parker, you care to weigh in?

#365

⇓

Nope, she's fine with it. And she knows a thing or two.

#366

⇓

Nope, she's fine with it. And she knows a thing or two.

#367

⇓

Except, of course, that a yellow light means to slow down.

#368

⇓

Except, of course, that a yellow light means to slow down.

#369

⇓

-You're not understanding what I'm trying to tell you. Kitty, this sucks.

#370

⇓

-You're not understanding what I'm trying to tell you. Kitty, this sucks.

#371

⇓

-How can I make it better?

#372

⇓

-How can I make it better?

#373

⇓

-Thank you so much for coming.

#374

⇓

-Thank you so much for coming.

#375

⇓

-Are you kidding? We've been looking forward to this.

#376

⇓

-Are you kidding? We've been looking forward to this.

#377

⇓

You know,... ever since he died. (LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)

#378

⇓

-Hey, you OK? -Yeah, why wouldn't I be?

#379

⇓

-Hey, you OK? -Yeah, why wouldn't I be?

#380

⇓

-You and your brother? The tension on the ride back was palpable.

#381

⇓

-You and your brother? The tension on the ride back was palpable.

#382

⇓

I wanted to say something. I was this close to getting back in.

#383

⇓

I wanted to say something. I was this close to getting back in.

#384

⇓

-That wouldn't have been wise. No, seriously, thank you, Elliot, we're fine.

#385

⇓

-That wouldn't have been wise. No, seriously, thank you, Elliot, we're fine.

#386

⇓

Damn you, you dirty ape!

#387

⇓

(ORGAN MUSIC)

#388

⇓

(ORGAN MUSIC)

#389

⇓

-Babe, you have to try one of these. They are to die for.

#390

⇓

-Babe, you have to try one of these. They are to die for.

#391

⇓

I'm sorry for your loss. Go ahead, try one.

#392

⇓

I'm sorry for your loss. Go ahead, try one.

#393

⇓

-Mother, this is Dr Turk, the surgeon that worked so hard.

#394

⇓

-Mother, this is Dr Turk, the surgeon that worked so hard.

#395

⇓

-It's the least I could do for...

#396

⇓

-It's the least I could do for...

#397

⇓

-You see, he doesn't even remember his name.

#398

⇓

-No, I remember his name. His name was...

#399

⇓

-No, I remember his name. His name was...

#400

⇓

His name was...

#401

⇓

His name was...

#402

⇓

Was...

#403

⇓

Was er...

#404

⇓

Was er...

#405

⇓

You know, we used to call him Old Chicken Neck.

#406

⇓

You know, we used to call him Old Chicken Neck.

#407

⇓

-Doctors today, they don't care.

#408

⇓

-No. It's just that recently I've had a lot of patients and I've been really busy.

#409

⇓

-No. It's just that recently I've had a lot of patients and I've been really busy.

#410

⇓

-Not too busy to come here and stuff your face with free food.

#411

⇓

-Not too busy to come here and stuff your face with free food.

#412

⇓

-Damn you, woman!

#413

⇓

-Damn you, woman!

#414

⇓

-Ladies, this is a caring doctor. He did everything he could for Bob.

#415

⇓

-Ladies, this is a caring doctor. He did everything he could for Bob.

#416

⇓

-Right(!) -Huh!

#417

⇓

-This is Bob?! That's Bob?! -Like for apples. You know, bob.

#418

⇓

-This is Bob?! That's Bob?! -Like for apples. You know, bob.

#419

⇓

Oh, I get it Let's see how tough you are without your costume on.

#420

⇓

Oh, I get it Let's see how tough you are without your costume on.

#421

⇓

Go ahead and knock the folders out of my hand now.

#422

⇓

Go ahead and knock the folders out of my hand now.

#423

⇓

-What costume? -You weren't wearing a gorilla suit?

#424

⇓

-What costume? -You weren't wearing a gorilla suit?

#425

⇓

-Someone running around in a gorilla suit? What's he look like? -A gorilla.

#426

⇓

-Someone running around in a gorilla suit? What's he look like? -A gorilla.

#427

⇓

-No, it's not me. -Then why knock the folder out of my hand?

#428

⇓

-No, it's not me. -Then why knock the folder out of my hand?

#429

⇓

-Because you asked me to. Here ya go.

#430

⇓

-I didn't ask you to do that! -That comes free with a folder knock.

#431

⇓

-I didn't ask you to do that! -That comes free with a folder knock.

#432

⇓

-Hey, sport. How you doing? -Good, sir.

#433

⇓

-Hey, sport. How you doing? -Good, sir.

#434

⇓

-I don't have time to flirt, son.

#435

⇓

-I don't have time to flirt, son.

#436

⇓

There have been rumblings that you let your brother play doctor the other day.

#437

⇓

There have been rumblings that you let your brother play doctor the other day.

#438

⇓

-Doctor Kelso - -Doctor Dorian, if I had one shred of evidence that incident took place,

#439

⇓

-Doctor Kelso - -Doctor Dorian, if I had one shred of evidence that incident took place,

#440

⇓

you would be working with my nephew so fast it'd make your head spin.

#441

⇓

you would be working with my nephew so fast it'd make your head spin.

#442

⇓

-Sir, I don't follow. -He cleans pools!

#443

⇓

-Sir, I don't follow. -He cleans pools!

#444

⇓

I forgot you didn't know that. I trust we will not be seeing your brother in the hospital again.

#445

⇓

I forgot you didn't know that. I trust we will not be seeing your brother in the hospital again.

#446

⇓

-Not inside, no.

#447

⇓

-I'm totally going to hell! -Turk, wait!

#448

⇓

-I'm totally going to hell! -Turk, wait!

#449

⇓

People get thrown out of funerals every day. (LAUGHS)

#450

⇓

People get thrown out of funerals every day. (LAUGHS)

#451

⇓

(SIGHS)

#452

⇓

-Why are you laughing?

#453

⇓

-Why are you laughing?

#454

⇓

-Off the top of my head, I'd have to say it's because he's suffering.

#455

⇓

-Off the top of my head, I'd have to say it's because he's suffering.

#456

⇓

Of course, I love the poetry of someone putting himself up on a pedestal,

#457

⇓

Of course, I love the poetry of someone putting himself up on a pedestal,

#458

⇓

then getting knocked back down into this puddle of self-hatred with the rest of us.

#459

⇓

then getting knocked back down into this puddle of self-hatred with the rest of us.

#460

⇓

-Did you do this to him?!

#461

⇓

-Oh, I don't know, did anybody ever really do anything to anybody else?

#462

⇓

-Oh, I don't know, did anybody ever really do anything to anybody else?

#463

⇓

-Oh, I don't know, did anybody ever really do anything to anybody else?

#464

⇓

-Tell me why you did this, and it better be good.

#465

⇓

-Tell me why you did this, and it better be good.

#466

⇓

-How does for poops and giggles grab ya?

#467

⇓

-How does for poops and giggles grab ya?

#468

⇓

Isn't there something you guys wanna talk about?

#469

⇓

Isn't there something you guys wanna talk about?

#470

⇓

You know, like cars, or sports,... or boobs?

#471

⇓

-Boobs. Remember Fred Keifer's mom?

#472

⇓

-She wore a tank top to Fred's 13th birthday party.

#473

⇓

-She wore a tank top to Fred's 13th birthday party.

#474

⇓

She taught us how to bob for apples and three guys passed out.

#475

⇓

She taught us how to bob for apples and three guys passed out.

#476

⇓

(LAUGHS) Great story. Now how about -something with more substance.

#477

⇓

(LAUGHS) Great story. Now how about -something with more substance.

#478

⇓

-Remember the cans on Pat Clark's mom? -Those were awesome.

#479

⇓

-Remember the cans on Pat Clark's mom? -Those were awesome.

#480

⇓

-You know what, forget it.

#481

⇓

-Elliot, come on. What does she expect us to talk about?

#482

⇓

-Elliot, come on. What does she expect us to talk about?

#483

⇓

-Maybe the fact that you're so embarrassed by me that you make excuses about how I live my life?

#484

⇓

-Maybe the fact that you're so embarrassed by me that you make excuses about how I live my life?

#485

⇓

-Maybe the fact that you're so embarrassed by me that you make excuses about how I live my life?

#486

⇓

-Oh, yeah.

#487

⇓

(ALARM DEACTIVATES)

#488

⇓

We're... working hard on a cure.

#489

⇓

(WHISTLES) Let's go. Field trip. -I've got things to do.

#490

⇓

(WHISTLES) Let's go. Field trip. -I've got things to do.

#491

⇓

-You off to another funeral? Come with me now and if you're late for the graveyard,

#492

⇓

-You off to another funeral? Come with me now and if you're late for the graveyard,

#493

⇓

I will scour the obituaries with you this weekend and we can just go nuts.

#494

⇓

I will scour the obituaries with you this weekend and we can just go nuts.

#495

⇓

-Carla put you up to this? -No, it was my idea.

#496

⇓

I desperately wanna be close with you, I just can't figure out how to connect. Turn around.

#497

⇓

I desperately wanna be close with you, I just can't figure out how to connect. Turn around.

#498

⇓

I desperately wanna be close with you, I just can't figure out how to connect. Turn around.

#499

⇓

Turn around.

#500

⇓

You see Doctor Wen in there?

#501

⇓

You see Doctor Wen in there?

#502

⇓

He's explaining to that family that something went wrong and that the patient died.

#503

⇓

He's explaining to that family that something went wrong and that the patient died.

#504

⇓

He's gonna tell 'em what happened, he's gonna say he's sorry, and then he's going back to work.

#505

⇓

He's gonna tell 'em what happened, he's gonna say he's sorry, and then he's going back to work.

#506

⇓

He's gonna tell 'em what happened, he's gonna say he's sorry, and then he's going back to work.

#507

⇓

You think anybody else there is going back to work today?

#508

⇓

That is why we distance ourselves, that's why we make jokes.

#509

⇓

That is why we distance ourselves, that's why we make jokes.

#510

⇓

That is why we distance ourselves, that's why we make jokes.

#511

⇓

We don't do it because it's fun, we do it so we can get by.

#512

⇓

We don't do it because it's fun, we do it so we can get by.

#513

⇓

And sometimes because it's fun.

#514

⇓

And sometimes because it's fun.

#515

⇓

But mostly it's the getting by thing.

#516

⇓

But mostly it's the getting by thing.

#517

⇓

Oh, and by the way. Bob.

#518

⇓

Oh, and by the way. Bob.

#519

⇓

Who doesn't get that?!

#520

⇓

Who doesn't get that?!

#521

⇓

(SIGHS) JD, we're all proud -you're a doctor,

#522

⇓

(SIGHS) JD, we're all proud -you're a doctor,

#523

⇓

just because I haven't achieved as much, it doesn't mean I don't like what I do.

#524

⇓

just because I haven't achieved as much, it doesn't mean I don't like what I do.

#525

⇓

-Being a bartender's fine.

#526

⇓

-I like living with Mom. -She makes great eggs.

#527

⇓

-I like living with Mom. -She makes great eggs.

#528

⇓

-All in all,... I'm pretty damn happy.

#529

⇓

-All in all,... I'm pretty damn happy.

#530

⇓

I'm happy, you know.

#531

⇓

'And now for the apology.'

#532

⇓

'And now for the apology.'

#533

⇓

That's a load of crap. Look, I know you, OK?

#534

⇓

That's a load of crap. Look, I know you, OK?

#535

⇓

The reason you wanted to pretend you're a doctor

#536

⇓

is cos you hate working in that bar and you wanted to feel like somebody.

#537

⇓

is cos you hate working in that bar and you wanted to feel like somebody.

#538

⇓

Dan, you're not driving that car across the country for the $300,

#539

⇓

Dan, you're not driving that car across the country for the $300,

#540

⇓

you like the way you feel when you drive it.

#541

⇓

you like the way you feel when you drive it.

#542

⇓

And the funny thing is you could be that guy.

#543

⇓

And the funny thing is you could be that guy.

#544

⇓

But you're afraid that if you have to try at something, you might fail,

#545

⇓

But you're afraid that if you have to try at something, you might fail,

#546

⇓

and that's just not a chance you're willing to take.

#547

⇓

-What can I say?

#548

⇓

-What can I say?

#549

⇓

It's been a real pleasure seeing you.

#550

⇓

(SIGHS)

#551

⇓

Dan.

#552

⇓

'Right then I knew I'd never see my brother the same way again.'

#553

⇓

'Right then I knew I'd never see my brother the same way again.'

#554

⇓

'You can never let go of the kid inside of you.'

#555

⇓

-That girl in the wolf outfit is totally checking you out.

#556

⇓

-That girl in the wolf outfit is totally checking you out.

#557

⇓

-I'd let her blow my house down, you know what I'm saying!

#558

⇓

-I'd let her blow my house down, you know what I'm saying!

#559

⇓

(BOTH) -Oh, yeah!

#560

⇓

(BOTH) -Oh, yeah!

#561

⇓

'You see, it's the kid inside of us -that keeps us all from going crazy.'

#562

⇓

'You see, it's the kid inside of us -that keeps us all from going crazy.'

#563

⇓

-Edited by Access Innovation Media www.ai-media.tv

#564

⇓

-Edited by Access Innovation Media www.ai-media.tv

#565

⇓