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Home » It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia » S07E12 — The High School Reunion (1)

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Season 7, Episode 12 — The High School Reunion (1)

TMDB episode metadata

Show: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Episode title: The High School Reunion (1)

Air date: December 08, 2011

Director: Matt Shakman

Top billed cast: Charlie Day, Glenn Howerton, Rob Mac, Kaitlin Olson, Danny DeVito

The gang have much to prove when they attend their high-school reunion. They meet old friends and make new foes as they stroll down memory lane.

Source: TMDB

↓

MAC, CHARLIE, DENNIS: Reunion! Reunion! Reunion!

charlie charlie-dennis dennis reunion reunion-reunion reunion-reunion-reunion

↓

Reunion! Reunion! Reunion! Reunion!

reunion reunion-reunion reunion-reunion-reunion

↓

Reunion! Reunion! Reunion!

reunion reunion-reunion reunion-reunion-reunion

↓

Chug! Chug!

chug chug-chug

↓

Oh!

↓

Yes!

↓

- Fight song. Go! - Fight song.

fight song

↓

Let's go to the downtown

downtown

↓

Is our motto show

motto

↓

So let's go, Saint Joe's

joes saint

↓

- Screw it. - I never knew this one.

screw

↓

- That's a stupid song. - Oh, man.

song stupid

↓

This reunion is going to be awesome, dude.

awesome reunion

↓

I am going to fire into that school,

fire school

↓

and it is gonna propel me back into the mid-'90s,

↓

Oh, I am so excited to show these douche bags my new back.

bags douche excited

↓

No brace, fools.

brace fools

↓

Oh, oh

↓

Uh, baby got back, oh

baby

↓

- Dee, what are you doing? - Baby Got Back.

baby

↓

You know that one. Sir Mix-A-Lot.

↓

Baby got, mmm

baby

↓

Sir Mix-A-Lot was not talking about women

women

↓

He was talking about gorgeous Black women

black black-women gorgeous women

↓

- and their big, beautiful black butts. - Black butts are good.

black butts

↓

and I can't wait to shove it into these fools faces.

faces fools shove

↓

- So let's get going. - Whatever. I don't give a shit.

↓

- Smash 'em up? - Let's smash 'em up!

smash

↓

Smash 'em up!

smash

↓

- I got these. - Wait, what--what are--

↓

- what are you doing there, Charlie? - Huh?

charlie

↓

That's not gonna happen, dude.

happen

↓

We're adults now.

adults

↓

I'm not taking any risks here, all right?

risks

↓

And if it does happen, I'm gonna get high.

happen

↓

I'm gonna go to the bathroom. I'm gonna huff stuff.

bathroom huff stuff

↓

No, Charlie, you don't have to do things like that anymore.

anymore charlie

↓

You don't need to huff shit or eat weird things.

huff weird

↓

- To get people to like you. - Nah, I think he does.

↓

You guys were pretty much nothing in high school.

school

↓

you'd definitely be nothing. Nobodies.

↓

Well, if shit happens, I'm going directly to plan "B".

directly happens plan

↓

We're not gonna have to do plan "B".

plan

↓

You know, I'm gonna come right out and say that I'm not doing plan "B"

plan

↓

regardless of what happens with you guys.

happens regardless

↓

- I'm only here for plan "B". - I don't give a shit.

plan

↓

Whoa, whoa.

whoa whoa-whoa

↓

Faculty or alumni?

alumni faculty

↓

- No, neither one. - Well, you can't go in.

↓

No, but we're friends. We're buddies. We hang out together.

buddies friends hang

↓

- We do everything together. - I don't care.

care

↓

Okay, look. I'm gonna go inside

↓

because Frank, I can't have you ruining this for me.

frank ruining

↓

But what am I gonna do out here, you know?

↓

Hang out in the parking lot and drink beer till we're done.

beer drink drink-beer hang parking till

↓

You smashed all the beers.

beers smashed

↓

Oh! No, actually, I have a few more.

↓

You guys want one?

↓

You can't bring those inside.

bring

↓

- Well, then, uh, guess what. - I guess let's, uh...

↓

Smash 'em up!

smash

↓

All right, turkey.

turkey

↓

- Have a good one. - Yeah, see you, Frank.

frank

↓

See you, jerk turkey.

jerk turkey

↓

Oh, yeah, baby. This is great. This brings me back.

baby brings

↓

I know. I'm like anxious. I'm excited.

anxious excited

↓

- I can't wait to see the waitress. - Oh, Charlie, give it a rest.

charlie rest waitress

↓

But we been clickin' lately. This is gonna be a good night for us.

lately night

↓

Like, remember how she was the coolest girl in school?

coolest girl remember school

↓

- No. - What are you talking about? No.

↓

Well, she was definitely the prettiest girl in school.

girl school

↓

- You remember that? - No, she's not.

remember

↓

- She was not. No. - No.

↓

- Maybe the most forgettable girl in - school. Yeah,

girl school

↓

which by the way is the worst thing you can be in high school.

school worst

↓

- Totally insignificant. - Either way,

insignificant

↓

good feelings are gonna get sparked up. I'm gonna see her.

feelings

↓

- She's gonna see me. - You guys, you guys.

↓

- You guys, you guys. - What?

↓

- Brad Fisher. Brad Fisher. - Oh.

brad brad-fisher fisher

↓

He is not gonna be happy to see me after that present I gave him.

happy present

↓

- Uh, what present? - Oh, the box of hornets!

hornets present

↓

Oh, that acne really came back, didn't it?

acne

↓

Yeah, it sure did.

↓

- The guy looks like shit. - Uh-hmm.

↓

All right. I'll tell you what. Why don't you guys sneak past him,

past sneak

↓

- and Mac and I will pick up the name tags. - Really?

name name-tags pick tags

↓

- How's that sound? - Yeah. Okay.

sound

↓

- We'll meet you inside. - CHARLIE, DEE: Okay.

charlie meet

↓

- All right. Go, go, go. - MAC, CHARLIE: Go.

charlie

↓

All right. Come on.

↓

Hey, hey, hey! It's Brad Fisher.

brad brad-fisher fisher

↓

All right! How you doin', buddy?

buddy doin

↓

- Not great. - Oh.

↓

Yeah, well, the acne definitely came back in full force.

acne force full

↓

- Yeah. - That's a shame, but I have products

products shame

↓

that'd clear that acne up, man.

acne clear thatd

↓

It's not acne, actually. No, no. It's hornet scars.

acne hornet scars

↓

Ooh! Ouch.

ouch

↓

Yikes.

yikes

↓

That--I don't think I have any products that'll...

products thatll

↓

that'll take care of hornet scars.

care hornet scars thatll

↓

- That's more of a, uh... - Plastic surgery situation.

plastic situation surgery

↓

- Yeah, plastic surgery would do it though. - Yeah.

plastic surgery

↓

- They'd blast those monstrous things... - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

blast theyd

↓

No, we don't, uh--we don't associate with him anymore.

anymore associate

↓

- All right, I'm gonna take off. - Okay.

↓

- Let's stay out of that. - Yeah, let's stay out of that.

↓

Let's just grab our name tags. I don't see 'em over here.

grab name name-tags tags

↓

- Yeah, yeah, yeah. - Oh, here we go.

↓

Okay, we got Charlie. We got Dee.

charlie

↓

- I got myself right there. - Yeah.

↓

And, uh, I'm not seeing yours.

seeing

↓

Yeah, I grabbed mine already.

grabbed

↓

- It's in my pocket. - Oh, did you grab it?

grab pocket

↓

- Yeah. - Oh, okay. Well, pop it on.

↓

Uh, I'm probably not gonna wear mine. I mean, who wears a name tag, right?

name wear wears

↓

- That's not cool. - I'm gonna wear mine.

cool wear

↓

I'm seeing everybody else wearing their name tags.

everybody name name-tags seeing tags wearing

↓

- Uh, it's like the... - So just pop that on, buddy.

buddy

↓

- Nobody calls me this anymore... - Uh-huh.

anymore calls nobody

↓

...and I feel like it's going to confuse people, and...

confuse

↓

It's not, because everybody called you that in high school,

called everybody school

↓

so pop it on because it's...

↓

...it's definitely rule, and they're not gonna let you inside

rule

↓

- without it, so... - It's been so long.

↓

It's probably not even my name

name

↓

- legally anymore. - You're gonna have to pop it on.

anymore legally

↓

Okay.

↓

Good.

↓

- Well, okay, Ronald McDonald. I... - Don't call me that.

mcdonald ronald ronald-mcdonald

↓

Well, it's your name.

name

↓

get people abuzz about my presence at the reunion,

presence reunion

↓

and, uh, I'll meet up with you guys later, okay?

meet

↓

Oh, God.

↓

No one's--no one calls me...

calls ones

↓

- Is he looking? - Who? That guy?

looking

↓

- Yes. Is he looking at my back, right now? - No. Do you see the waitress anywhere?

looking waitress

↓

- Come on. Shut up. Is he looking? - He's not looking at your back.

looking

↓

- Are you sure? - Why are you so obsessed with this guy?

obsessed

↓

It's the guy who coined the name "Aluminum Monster."

aluminum aluminum-monster monster name

↓

- Really? That's him? - Yes.

↓

- That's cool. I want to meet him. - You have met him, Charlie.

charlie cool meet

↓

He called you Dirtgrub and he made you eat spiders.

called dirtgrub spiders

↓

- Oh, that guy! - Yeah.

↓

Oh, I rem--he was, like, so cool. He was, like, way above me.

cool

↓

Yeah, him and his cronies all thought that they were way above you

cronies

↓

and everybody else,

everybody

↓

but I've got a plan to get revenge.

plan revenge

↓

I'm gonna sew myself into their inner circle.

circle inner

↓

Cool. How you gonna do that?

cool

↓

I'm gonna lure 'em in with my good looks.

lure

↓

And then, as far as I remember,

remember

↓

all you really gotta do to get in with that crowd is be really cruel to people.

crowd cruel

↓

- Right. - So, I'm gonna gain their trust,

gain trust

↓

and when the moment's right, I'm gonna strike.

moments strike

↓

- Oh, cool. All right. - Mmm-hmm, I'm doing it for us, Charlie.

charlie cool

↓

- Oh, okay. Thanks. Yeah. - Mmm-hmm.

thanks

↓

- Is it--is it him? - He's coming over.

coming

↓

- All right. Do you see a spider I can eat? - No, stop.

spider

↓

- I can eat--I can eat a spider. - Charlie, Just keep your mouth shut.

charlie mouth spider

↓

Shut up. Keep your mouth shut.

mouth

↓

Hey, um, excuse me, but, um, aren't you the Aluminum Monster?

aluminum aluminum-monster excuse monster

↓

Yes. I mean, no. People don't call me that anymore,

anymore

↓

- but yeah. - Nor should they. I mean...

↓

Wow, you've, uh, you've really transformed. You look great.

↓

- Really? - Mm-hmm.

↓

Thanks.

thanks

↓

Hey. Dirtgrub.

dirtgrub

↓

How are you?

↓

- That's so cool. You're so cool, Adriano. - Yeah.

adriano cool

↓

Hey, um...

↓

why don't you smell this?

smell

↓

Oh, well, it's probably poisonous, right?

poisonous

↓

Probably, but, you know, smell it anyway.

smell

↓

- Should, should I smell it? - Smell it.

smell

↓

- Aw, well... - Come on.

↓

Whoa! Whoa, whoa, wait! Charlie, what are you doing, dude?

charlie whoa whoa-whoa whoa-whoa-whoa

↓

Oh, he wanted me to smell a pen,

smell wanted

↓

and I was going to smell the pen, because it's Adriano...

adriano smell

↓

No, you don't have to do that anymore.

anymore

↓

Hey, Ronald McDonald, right?

mcdonald ronald ronald-mcdonald

↓

No. No. No.

↓

For your information, nobody calls me that.

calls information nobody

↓

Oh, right, right. What did we call you?

↓

- Ronnie the Rat. - Ronnie the Rat!

ronnie

↓

Yeah, I remember. Yeah, yeah.

remember

↓

Why did we call him that anyway?

↓

'Cause he was a nark and a tattletale,

↓

and he became the main drug dealer.

became dealer drug drug-dealer main

↓

When he told on the other main drug dealer.

dealer drug drug-dealer main

↓

- Right, yeah, yeah, yeah, I remember. - Yeah.

remember

↓

Well, looks like the rat got a little too much cheese, huh?

cheese

↓

That's not...

↓

- Fat. - That's not funny.

funny

↓

- I've put on mass. - We eat a lot of cheese.

cheese mass

↓

- We eat a lot of cheese. - To put on mass.

cheese mass

↓

Didn't you also give everybody ringworm?

everybody ringworm

↓

No! No. That was a rumor.

rumor

↓

I only gave ringworm to Charlie.

charlie ringworm

↓

Yeah, I--I got it from my dog Poppins,

poppins

↓

and then Charlie and I were wrestling every day

charlie wrestling

↓

because we were trying out for the wrestling team, and then, you know,

team wrestling

↓

- we just passed it back and forth. - We passed it back and forth.

forth passed

↓

Although then we did try out for the wrestling team,

team wrestling

↓

and then I do think a couple of the guys got it on the team.

couple team

↓

- So, yeah, you're right, you're right. - Wow, yeah. Yeah,

↓

no, that is really gross.

gross

↓

- I mean, that is... - Mmm.

↓

...yeah, that's about as low as it gets.

↓

They probably still have it, 'cause they're so gay together.

↓

Totally.

↓

Hey, Dee, why don't you come back to our table? You know, have a drink?

drink table

↓

- Oh, yeah. Okay. - Yeah?

↓

That sounds cool.

cool sounds sounds-cool

↓

See you later, Dirtgrub and Ronnie the Rat.

dirtgrub ronnie

↓

Hope you suck each other's rotten peckers until you get mouth cancer.

cancer hope mouth others rotten suck

↓

Mouth cancer. I love this girl.

cancer girl love mouth

↓

- Can I come to the table? - No!

table

↓

For some reason, homophobia it's awesome to these guys.

awesome reason

↓

I'm sewing myself in. I'm doing this for us. Okay?

sewing

↓

What the hell is she talking about?

↓

She's going to strike when the moment's right.

moments strike

↓

She's doing it for us, dude.

↓

- Really? - Yeah.

↓

- Did you thank her? - Of course I thanked her. Absolutely.

absolutely course thanked

↓

- Oh, what's up, boys? - Hey. Hey.

boys

↓

- All right, I got your name tags. - Oh.

name name-tags tags

↓

- Hey, did you get on Mac about his? - Yeah, he's got...

↓

- It's not that--it's not funny. - That's so funny. That's...

funny

↓

Adriano came over and blasted him about it.

adriano blasted

↓

- Oh, he did? Oh, good. - That wasn't--that wasn't funny.

funny

↓

So Adriano's probably gonna tell everybody about it.

everybody

↓

That's going to get around the whole reunion.

reunion whole

↓

- Get going round and round. - Probably not.

round

↓

- All right, so... - Probably getting old already.

↓

So, listen guys, this is where we part ways, all right?

part ways

↓

So, do not talk to me for the rest of the night,

night rest

↓

and I won't be talking to you, because you lower my stock.

lower stock

↓

You guys get it. I'm going to go post up one of these tables around here.

post tables

↓

Let my loyal subjects come and kiss my ring.

kiss loyal ring subjects

↓

Listen, don't laugh when people make fun of me.

fun laugh

↓

Yo! Stash. Stash.

stash

↓

What's up, brother? It's Dennis.

brother dennis

↓

Here, sit down, man. Let's, let's catch up a little bit.

catch

↓

Yeah, okay. All right. I'll catch--I'll catch you later, man.

catch

↓

If you see any of the old crew, let them know I'm posted up over here.

crew posted

↓

I don't think they know I'm here.

↓

- Dennis. - What are you...

dennis

↓

I snuck right by that security prick.

prick security snuck

↓

Look. I got myself a name tag.

name

↓

- I'm Nicki Potnick. - Mmm.

nicki

↓

Remember the time you crashed my car into the tree?

crashed remember tree

↓

- You went crazy and the tire went... - We had such a good time.

crazy tire

↓

Okay, Frank, first off, Nicki Potnick is a girl, okay?

frank girl nicki

↓

And secondly, she's not 65 years old.

secondly years

↓

I don't want to talk to you.

↓

I don't want to be around you. Go find Mac and Charlie.

charlie

↓

- Go, go, go. - Why--why are you sitting at a table

sitting table

↓

with no people?

↓

- I thought you were cool. - I am cool. Coolest kid here. I'm just,

cool coolest

↓

you know, I'm posting up, and they're going to come to me.

posting

↓

I don't know what's going on.

↓

Hello, Dennis.

dennis

↓

- Ooh. - Oh, goddamn.

goddamn

↓

You're late on your alimony.

alimony late

↓

Oh. Can we not talk about alimony payments right now?

alimony payments

↓

We're at our reunion.

reunion

↓

Didn't think you'd run into your ex-wife, huh?

wife

↓

No, I didn't think about it, Maureen,

maureen

↓

because I don't think about you.

↓

- Really? - No.

↓

What do you think about this?

↓

Ho! Ho!

↓

It wafted over here. The dead tooth

dead dead-tooth tooth

↓

it's burning my nose. It stinks.

burning nose stinks

↓

What is that supposed to be?

supposed

↓

That's where your monthly payments are going.

monthly payments

↓

That's a diamond tooth, Dennis

dennis diamond tooth

↓

- A dead tooth, Maureen. - With a diamond in it.

dead dead-tooth diamond maureen tooth

↓

Put a diamond on anything that's dead, and it's still dead, Maureen.

dead diamond maureen

↓

It's rotting. Get it out of your face.

face rotting

↓

Look, I don't want to talk about these things, all right.

↓

I don't want to talk to old men who are pretending to be women,

pretending women

↓

and--and--and ex-wives, all right?

wives

↓

I can't be seen like this.

seen

↓

- Hello, bitches. - Oh, for...

bitches

↓

- That's right. I'm off the wagon. - Yeah.

wagon

↓

You know what, Dennis?

dennis

↓

I went to go find my name tag, they didn't have one for me.

name

↓

Oh, really?

↓

All right, see you later.

↓

Yeah, I went to go find my name tag. They didn't even have one.

name

↓

It's like--it's like what? I never existed?

existed

↓

I mean, who cares though, right?

cares

↓

'Cause it's high school. Who cares?

cares school

↓

Hmm.

↓

Here we go. Here we go. Grab it.

grab

↓

- Oh, yes! Shots for everybody. - All right.

everybody shots

↓

Shots for the cool team.

cool shots team

↓

Oh! Rickety Cricket, everybody.

cricket everybody rickety rickety-cricket

↓

Look at this. Rickety Crickety. Rickety.

rickety

↓

Rickety Cricket!

cricket rickety rickety-cricket

↓

Hi, Cricks. How are you?

cricks

↓

All cleaned up, huh? Except for that tooth.

cleaned except tooth

↓

- Well, actually it's Father Mara again. - Is it?

father mara

↓

I cleaned up, yes, and I was welcomed back into the cloth.

cleaned welcomed

↓

God had a plan for me.

plan

↓

Took me into a deep valley, but now I'm soaring on eagle's wings.

deep eagles soaring valley wings

↓

- So praise him. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

praise

↓

All that, street rat. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

street

↓

So, hey, what, I tell you what, Crick.

crick

↓

Should I put my balls on your chin now or later, huh? Huh, huh?

balls chin

↓

Down the hatch, everybody.

everybody hatch

↓

Down the hatch, everybody, but you, father.

everybody father hatch

↓

All right, well, nonetheless, I say to you peace.

nonetheless peace

↓

- Peace be to you, Deandra, okay? - That's weird.

deandra peace weird

↓

And peace be to you, my lady.

lady peace

↓

And to you, my son. Peace be to you.

peace

↓

- To you. - Boring.

boring

↓

Hey! Hey, everybody. Remember me?

everybody remember

↓

Probably not.

↓

Sat behind you in Spanish.

behind spanish

↓

Remember? Sat--sat right next to you in algebra 1.

algebra remember

↓

- Who the hell is that? - Oh, I don't know.

↓

I've never seen her before in my life.

life seen

↓

Dee. Dee, you know me, Dee.

↓

I know Dee. Me and Dee, we go way back.

↓

Ugh! Bad choice on the dress, know what I mean?

choice dress

↓

I know you, bitch. I know you, bitch.

bitch

↓

Wow. Oh, hey.

↓

More shots. More shots. More shots. More shots! More shots!

shots

↓

- Yeah. - More shots! I'm the queen of the night!

night queen shots

↓

I'm the queen of the night. Right, cool table? Yeah.

cool night queen table

↓

Wow! I just shook your dead-tooth wife.

dead dead-tooth shook tooth wife

↓

I mean, I had to wash my hands and face.

face hands wash

↓

- I am trying to shake you, Frank. - It just smells so bad.

frank shake smells

↓

Please go away from me. Please get away.

↓

Yo, Dennis!

dennis

↓

Oh, shit. It's Tim Murphy.

murphy

↓

- Son of a bitch. - Who's Tim Murphy?

bitch murphy

↓

Tim Murphy is the asshole that slept with my prom date.

asshole date murphy prom prom-date slept

↓

Dennis Reynolds. What's up, man?

dennis dennis-reynolds reynolds

↓

Oh, hey, Tim.

↓

This is my wife, Christie. Dennis and I used to be really good friends.

christie dennis friends used wife

↓

Oh! Hi. Nice to meet you.

meet

↓

- Nicki Potnick. - Shut up.

nicki

↓

- Oh, hey, honey? - Yeah?

honey

↓

- Let's go dance. - Yeah--why don't you go ahead?

ahead dance go-ahead

↓

- I'm going to hang for a bit. - Oh, okay.

hang

↓

Nice to meet you both.

meet

↓

Uh-oh.

↓

Va va voom.

↓

Anyhow, I saw you standing over here alone.

alone anyhow standing

↓

I wanted to invite you over to our table.

invite table wanted

↓

Oh, I won't be going anywhere with you, Tim.

↓

Okay, why?

↓

Don't you play coy with me, you little bitch.

bitch

↓

I'm going to stay right here,

↓

and I'm going to wait for my minions to swarm me.

minions swarm

↓

And swarm they will, Tim.

swarm

↓

Alone you'll be.

alone

↓

Such sad little games we play.

games

↓

Right, Tim?

↓

Right.

↓

Same old Dennis Reynolds.

dennis dennis-reynolds reynolds

↓

You look good, Nicki.

nicki

↓

- Thank you, Tim! - Mmm.

↓

Thank you. Seems like a nice guy.

seems

↓

- He's not. Go! Go away from me! - All right.

↓

- We just got to get our mojo back. - Yeah.

mojo

↓

- It's all about the confidence--yeah. - Get some drinks in us, and...

confidence drinks

↓

Six beers for the two of us, please.

beers

↓

Drink tickets for the two of us, please.

drink tickets

↓

- All right. - Here.

↓

Dude, this is only four.

four

↓

That's all they gave us, bozo.

bozo

↓

Well, that's only two per person, bozo.

bozo person

↓

Well, how am I supposed to get drunk

drunk supposed

↓

- off of only four beers? I... - Yeah.

beers four four-beers

↓

Is there any way you can work something out or...

↓

- Two tickets per person, guy. - I didn't ask you, pretty boy.

person tickets

↓

It's a conversation between me and the longhair.

conversation

↓

Okay. None for him or the fat bitch.

bitch

↓

You're making this about weight?

weight

↓

He's gained a lot of weight.

gained weight

↓

I'm not going to take some shit from some bartender.

bartender

↓

- Wait--you're a bartender. - He doesn't know that!

bartender

↓

Hey, did you guys see Ronald McDonald's his name?

mcdonalds name ronald

↓

Hey! Eight beers, my friends.

beers eight friends

↓

- What's up, buddy? - How are you?

buddy

↓

- Boom! - Buddy.

boom buddy

↓

- Whoa. - I thought it was only two per person!

person whoa

↓

Went to the computer lab.

computer

↓

Printed out like a hundred of them.

hundred printed

↓

- Way--way more than I need. - That's awesome.

awesome

↓

- Can we get a few of them? - No. No way.

↓

- I'm, I'm sorry I brought it up. - Yeah.

brought

↓

Hey, Adriano, can I get some more of those tickets?

adriano tickets

↓

- Yeah, you bet. Here. Help yourself. - Awesome.

awesome

↓

Son of a bitch! He just gave them to that guy.

bitch

↓

Well, that guy's cool, so...

cool

↓

Okay.

↓

- I got--I got an excellent plan, Charlie. - Okay.

charlie excellent plan

↓

We're going to get everything we need.

↓

We're going to get our confidence back,

confidence

↓

and we're going to fire back into this room.

fire room

↓

- You ready? - Okay, good.

ready

↓

- Here we go. - I want those guys to like us.

↓

- Follow my lead. - Okay.

follow lead

↓

Adriano made fake tickets! Those tickets are fake!

adriano fake tickets

↓

Don't rat on him!

↓

He made fake ones. He gets to drink and we don't. That's not fair!

drink fair fake ones

↓

Bro, I'm sorry.

↓

If those are fake, you can't get any of these beers.

beers fake

↓

- Come on. - Ha, ha! You got in trouble.

trouble

↓

- You got in trouble! - Wow. Ronnie the Rat strikes again, huh?

ronnie strikes trouble

↓

Thanks a lot, douche bag.

douche thanks

↓

- You're the worst, Dirtgrub. - Yeah.

dirtgrub worst

↓

- I didn't have anything to do... - Don't sell me out.

sell

↓

See what you did, man?

↓

We're supposed to be on the same team, Charlie.

charlie supposed team

↓

See, high school sucks!

school sucks

↓

You know what, I'm gonna go to the bathroom.

bathroom

↓

I'm going to find stuff to huff. I'm going to get high.

huff stuff

↓

If I'm the Dirtgrub, I'm going to be the Dirtgrub.

dirtgrub

↓

Ahh! We're going to go into plan "B"

plan

↓

because I brought Dee's old back brace, and I got it in the car.

brace brought dees

↓

- So, we can implement--a little... - Not now, Frank!

frank

↓

A little rehearsal or something.

rehearsal

↓

No, Charlie. Dude, you don't have to do this.

charlie

↓

- We can find another way. - Yes, I do, dude.

another

↓

I'm just the Dirtgrub, okay?

dirtgrub

↓

Everyone wants the Dirtgrub, I'll give 'em the Dirtgrub.

dirtgrub wants

↓

I'll get high. I'll get sad. People can laugh at me. I hate high school, man!

hate laugh school

↓

Charlie. Charlie, don't put the bleach and the ammonia together!

ammonia bleach charlie charlie-charlie

↓

It's going to knock the shit out of you.

knock

↓

Don't tell me how to mix my own inhalants. I know how to do inhalants.

↓

Charlie, it's going to knock you unconscious.

charlie knock unconscious

↓

I know how to do my own inhalants, okay? I don't need that from...

↓

- Whoops-a-daisy. All right. - That's it.

daisy whoops

↓

Well, let's just wait till he wakes up, and then we'll...

till wakes

↓

Oh, well. What have we got here?

↓

Ronnie the Rat and, uh...

ronnie

↓

Hey, look, everyone. Nicki Potnick made it to the reunion.

nicki reunion

↓

Hello.

↓

Looks like you had a rough couple of years there, Nicki.

couple nicki rough years

↓

Uh, yeah. I'm a guy now.

↓

- Mmm. - Mmm. Right. Yeah.

↓

What are you guys doing, perving out on Dirtgrub over there?

dirtgrub

↓

Yeah, probably.

↓

That's what these gay guys do.

↓

They just knock each other out with poppers,

knock poppers

↓

and then find some kinda rabies-infested rodent

infested kinda rabies rodent

↓

to tickle each other's taints with.

others tickle

↓

No.

↓

No, that's not what we're doing, all right?

↓

We are grown adults. We are respected businessmen now.

adults businessmen grown respected

↓

You did kind of rat me out there, Ronnie. So...

ronnie

↓

Yeah, so I guess it's time to pay the piper, rat,

piper

↓

and, uh, old man I don't know.

↓

Whoa! No, no!

whoa

↓

Ow!

↓

I've been waiting a long time for this.

waiting

↓

- You, you know me, bitch! - Oh, god!

bitch

↓

I'm a grown goddamn man!

goddamn grown

↓

- Ow! My balls! - Ah!

balls

↓

Do the ladies want to battle with me?

battle ladies

↓

You should stay away from those people.

↓

I mean, they--they will ruin your life like they tried to ruin mine.

life ruin tried

↓

A-oh!

↓

You guys just missed something so awesome that we did.

awesome missed

↓

- Yeah. - Heed my warning.

heed warning

↓

Hey, how you guys doing? Yeah. I'm here.

↓

Can you believe I came to this thing? Yeah, I was posted up over there.

believe posted

↓

- You guys probably didn't see me. - No, we saw you.

↓

Oh, did you? Oh, okay, well, no reason to be intimidated.

intimidated reason

↓

You know? I'm a human being, after all.

human

↓

You know, just a--just a man.

↓

- Actually, we're good. - Uh, no, Tim. We're not good.

↓

And you're definitely not good,

↓

'cause you haven't had a chance to hang out with me yet.

chance hang

↓

Um, my wallet's missing.

missing wallets

↓

Oh, my god, my necklace is missing.

missing necklace

↓

Oh, come on! My gold chain's gone.

chains gold gone

↓

Where's my wallet?

wallet

↓

Oh, my. And with all the security.

security

↓

- The fact you even need it. - Wait a second, Mara.

fact mara second

↓

What is that around your neck?

neck

↓

Hmm?

↓

Oh, that's, uh, probably just a scar that...

scar

↓

- What the hell? - Ah.

↓

Ah! I've sinned!

sinned

↓

My god, you are covered in ringworm.

covered ringworm

↓

It's her fault. She told me she loved me.

fault loved

↓

We were supposed to be together forever.

forever supposed

↓

Calm down, Cricks.

calm cricks

↓

What's he talking about? Dee, were you two together?

↓

No! Me, with him? What, are you crazy? No!

crazy

↓

Yeah, I told him I loved him once, but that was four years ago.

four four-years loved years

↓

You two probably have ringworm together, don't you?

ringworm

↓

- No! No, of course I don't have... - No, no, stay away from me!

course

↓

To think I was going to let you jack me off.

jack

↓

- Wait, wait. You were? - Unbelievable.

unbelievable

↓

Let's get this asshole out of here. Come on.

asshole

↓

- No, no, no! - Come on.

↓

- Move. Come on! - No, no, no. You guys.

↓

- You know, I don't have ringworm, right? - No, we don't have ringworm.

ringworm

↓

- We don't have ringworm. - No, no. We're cool!

cool ringworm

↓

- Yeah, we're like the... - Oh...

↓

Oh, really?

↓

Son of a bitch.

bitch