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Home » It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia » S03E15 — The Gang Dances Their Asses Off

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Season 3, Episode 15 — The Gang Dances Their Asses Off

TMDB episode metadata
Show: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Episode title: The Gang Dances Their Asses Off
Air date: November 15, 2007
Director: Matt Shakman
Top billed cast: Charlie Day, Glenn Howerton, Rob Mac, Kaitlin Olson, Danny DeVito
In the season finale, Charlie accidentally puts Paddy's up as a prize for a dance marathon, which prompts the gang to enter the competition in order to save their bar.
Source: TMDB
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MAC: I'm not gonna read this bullshit. Just get me a Coors.
bullshitcoorsread
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"What do I think my greatest strength as a server is?"
greatestserverstrength
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- What the hell is this, Frank? - Employee evaluation.
employeeevaluationfrank
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This bar is a business and we're gonna start acting like one.
actingbusinessstartstart-acting
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I do not want to start acting like a business
actingbusinessstartstart-acting
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because that sounds boring as shit. - Yeah, that sounds terrible.
boringsounds
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Plus this thing's 10 pages long. I'm not gonna fill it out.
fillpagesplus
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- That's gonna affect your rank. - What rank?
affectrank
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I put us all on a ranking system so you would care about your jobs.
carejobsrankingsystem
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- Are we ranked now? - Yes, we are.
ranked
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- What's my rank? - Second, after me.
ranksecond
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- Wait! What's my rank? - You're third.
rankthird
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- What? Why am I third? - Too volatile.
third
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- Bullshit! That is bullshit! - Okay.
bullshit
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- What am I? - You're fifth.
fifth
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Fifth? That's last. Why in the hell would I be last?
fifth
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- Too much lip and very sassy. - Sassy? That doesn't make sense.
sassysense
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Like right now. You just don't know when to shut up.
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- Hello! - You are late.
late
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I just signed the bar up to host a dance competition
competitiondancehostsigned
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that's gonna be hosted live by the Q Crew on 102 Radio!
crewliveradio
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- The Q Crew! Good work! - Yeah.
crew
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That would be a good idea, except it's not a dance contest.
contestdanceexceptidea
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- It's a dance marathon. - What's the point?
dancemarathonpoint
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It's an endurance competition.
competitionendurance
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We're gonna be enduring free promotion on the radio.
freepromotionradio
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"Location: Paddy's Bar. Time: Saturday.
locationpaddyssaturday
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Date: With Charlie Kelly. Prize: Paddy's Pub."
charliecharlie-kellydatekellypaddysprize
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- You put the bar up as a prize? - No.
prize
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I put the bar under the "Pride" section, things you're proud of.
prideproudsection
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It's a "Z", Charlie! Prize!
charlieprize
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- Didn't you read that thing? - I gave it a once-over!
read
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- Your illiteracy screwed us again! - Your illiteracy is screwing us!
illiteracyscrewedscrewing
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- That doesn't make any sense! - I have an important question.
questionsense
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Does this make Charlie number five and I'm number four?
charliefivefournumbernumber-fivenumber-four
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- Because in light of... - Dee! Shut up!
light
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Stop with the sass! This is what Frank is talking about!
franksass
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- You never know when to shut up. - Maybe this thing isn't legal.
legal
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No, it's legal. There was a lawyer there.
lawyerlegal
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- What are we gonna do now? - We're gonna dance our asses off!
assesdance
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(disco)
disco
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Hey, everybody. DJ Squirrely D and Fat Michael here from Q102.
everybodymichael
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- The Q Crew. - Coming to you from Paddy's Pub!
comingcrewpaddys
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Kicking off our old-time dance marathon.
dancekickingmarathon
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Where the owners have put up their bar as the first prize.
ownersprize
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How about a quick recap of the rules for our listeners?
quickrecaprules
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All dancers must remain on their feet and dancing at all times.
dancersdancingfeetmustremaintimes
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If you drop to the floor, you are out.
dropfloor
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- People, this could take hours. - It could take days.
dayshours
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It could take weeks. So stay tuned, 'cause someone's gonna win a bar!
someonestunedweeks
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- But only right here on Q102. - The Q Crew!
crew
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- Good job, Charlie. - Take it easy and enjoy yourself,
charlieeasyenjoy
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'cause I'm gonna win this thing with this right here!
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- What the hell is that? - Eighth grade dance competition.
competitiondanceeightheighth-gradegrade
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- I won to this song. - It's an endurance competition.
competitionendurancesong
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We're not gonna win the bar back with some dance you did in 1989.
dance
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They don't care if you dance well. It's a marathon.
caredancemarathon
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What's up, assholes?
assholes
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- What the hell you doing here? - I'm here to win your bar.
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Awesome. This whole thing was a mistake.
awesomemistakewhole
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So maybe you can help us win the bar back.
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Why would I ever help you do anything?
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All you've ever done... Stop. All you've done is screw me over.
screw
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Now I'm here to win back your bar.
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- We're good though, right? - Go to hell.
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Do you want to partner up in this dance competition?
competitiondancepartner
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Stop touching me, Charlie.
charlietouching
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Hello, jerks. Surprised to see me back?
jerkssurprised
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Rickety Cricket. You're here to win the bar because we ruined your life.
cricketlifericketyrickety-cricketruined
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Good guess.
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And I'm gonna win this bar with the help of my shiny new legs.
legsshiny
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The latest leg brace technology courtesy of Pennsylvania.
bracecourtesylatestpennsylvaniatechnology
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Maybe we should partner up, ruin their lives together.
livespartnerruin
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- Maybe we should. Jealous? - No.
jealous
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- Let's go, Cricket. - It's Matthew.
cricketmatthew
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Holy shit.
holy
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What's going on with Rickety Cricket's new legs?
cricketslegsrickety
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- They look so sturdy. - He's half machine.
halfmachinesturdy
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He's got a liquid hydraulic cooling system going on with that thing.
coolingliquidsystem
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That's cheating, dude. He's gonna win with those things.
cheating
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- It's like an exoskeleton. - It's exactly like an exoskeleton!
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We'll have to resort to foul play.
foulresort
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There's no point in taking any chances. Let's get dirty.
chancesdirtypoint
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Maybe he'll sweat so much he'll rust those bionic legs.
legsrustsweat
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We should kick him in the dick! (horn honking, bells clanging)
bellsclangingdickhonkinghornhorn-honkingkick
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- What is that awful noise? - We got our first challenge!
awfulchallengenoise
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I need Mac to collect his dignity and step to the center.
centercollectdignitystep
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What? We've only been dancing for two minutes. Who's challenged me?
challengeddancingminutes
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(motors whirring)
whirring
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Shit. (bell clangs)
bellclangs
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Our two dancers have one song to strut their stuff.
dancerssongstuff
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The loser will have to wear this 25-pound keg around his neck
loserneckpoundwear
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for the rest of the competition. - Talk about a ball and chain.
ballchaincompetitionrest
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- I'm going through a messy divorce. - He's not gonna go down easy.
divorceeasymessy
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No way. He's fueled by vengeance
fueledvengeance
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and reinforced with space-age technology.
reinforcedspacetechnology
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- And go! (scream) - My legs!
legsscream
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- The technology failed me! - He's fallen and he can't get up!
failedfallentechnology
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- I am stealing that line! - It's already yours!
linestealing
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All right. That's our first casualty of the night.
night
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But stay tuned. There's plenty more where that came from.
plentytuned
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Why don't we mix things up a little bit, by slowing things down?
slowing
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Everybody couple up and hit the dance floor.
coupledancedance-flooreverybodyfloor
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(ballad) Don't be afraid to get "sextra" close.
afraidballadclose
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- Osmond close on Q102. - The Q Crew.
closecrew
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I do not even understand the smell coming from your body, dude.
bodycomingsmell
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Relax, dude. I forgot to put on deodorant.
deodorantforgotrelax
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- You gonna give me shit all day? - I never saw you wear deodorant.
deodorantwear
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You've never seen me wash my testicles,
seentesticleswash
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but that doesn't mean I don't do it every Friday.
friday
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And I swear to God you've got lice, man.
liceswear
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I see little bugs crawling all over your body.
bodybugscrawling
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That's glitter. I tried to make myself look a little fancy.
fancyglittertried
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- Mr. Fancy Pants. - Excuse me.
excusefancyfancy-pantspants
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I'm just trying to have a good competition here.
competition
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I gotta get outta here. When is the partner switch?
outtapartnerswitch
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This could be a great idea to shake things up a little bit.
ideashake
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Use the partner switch to get inside people's heads.
headspartnerpeoplespeoples-headsswitch
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Why is the person that's ranked last trying to hatch a plan?
hatchpersonplanranked
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- Yeah, I wonder that too. - I just came up with an idea.
ideawonder
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This could be a good opportunity to shake things up.
opportunityshake
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We could use this partner switch to get into people's heads.
headspartnerpeoplespeoples-headsswitch
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- Now you're talking! - Are you being serious?
serious
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Shut up. We're hatching a plan.
plan
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But we're gonna need a man on the outside. Frank, that's you.
frank
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Why? Because I'm old? That's bullshit!
bullshit
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No, dude. Because you're the best at scheming.
best
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We need you on the outside running things. Take a knee.
kneerunning
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- Kneel down. - Take a knee for the team, buddy.
buddykneekneelteam
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Yeah, there you go! (whistle blows)
blowswhistlewhistle-blows
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- Another one bites the dust. - Q Crew!
anotherbitescrewdust
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We did just screw him over to kick him out of the contest, right?
contestkickscrew
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- Absolutely. - What?
absolutely
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And by the way, when we get the bar back, you're ranked last!
ranked
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You can't rank me last. I created the ranking system.
createdrankrankingsystem
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Then you shouldn't have dropped out, you old bitch.
bitchdropped
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You lousy bastards.
bastardslousy
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So who's next? Who's looking good out there?
looking
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That young couple over there looks pretty limber.
couplelimberyoung
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- We should take them out. - Okay, I'll take the girl.
girl
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I'm gonna dance with the waitress for a little while.
dancewaitress
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That's not gonna work. Mac, take the waitress.
waitress
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You can tire her out with your spastic movement.
movementtire
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I'll tire her out with my awesome movements.
awesomemovementstire
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Whatever it is.
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You should get into it more, Dee.
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(waltz)
waltz
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This is great, Dee. This is so restful.
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I'm really building up my reserves for later.
building
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I'm just really glad I can be of help, Charlie.
charlieglad
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Thank you.
↓
457ddb01-d761-4312-9019-3c97a15b8255.gif
Mac and the waitress are getting pretty close.
closewaitress
↓
a0a75495-bc96-4c07-beec-81cb6c790080.gif
What's the matter? Can't keep up?
matter
↓
04393d58-386b-4f30-a3f6-49ff29741bc4.gif
No, I can't understand why you're dancing like that.
dancing
↓
ef16e2a1-97eb-493a-afac-1586f5310c71.gif
I feel like you're gonna hit me. Please don't hit me.
↓
84a75448-606e-48e3-8e7e-82d27077a91d.gif
Good. Don't be afraid to get in real close, okay?
afraidclosereal
↓
4ad599f3-a58d-45c4-9101-53181b507c89.gif
Okay. How long have you been a dance instructor?
danceinstructor
↓
1668bf9b-cf5a-4d72-86ff-72a5967421e9.gif
A long time. Years.
years
↓
7257a8f7-380c-4d9a-a24f-fbd809a32150.gif
My fiancé and I we're not really dancers.
dancers
↓
87e7a656-ca87-469e-83a6-5e0f22638819.gif
We just joined this competition because we both got laid off.
competitionjoinedlaid
↓
952d496c-2357-4b7a-9864-52dba9d7c965.gif
Right. I'm gonna dip you down now.
↓
c0b2971f-6c1e-4642-8c13-b5026df1db96.gif
Just stick your knee into my groin, just like that.
groinkneestick
↓
b96205f6-7258-4719-a742-d5187dd057eb.gif
Grind your hips and pulse your thighs. Ready? Go.
grindhipspulsereadythighs
↓
59389f30-9125-49f3-932e-efbaf81a520f.gif
- What the hell are you doing? - Relax. He's an instructor.
instructorrelax
↓
86b021a6-f222-4901-86a8-dabf4bb0de56.gif
He's showing me a new dance. What's it called again?
calleddanceshowing
↓
03be9242-dc98-4ba3-a289-7b93c0d9bf3d.gif
- The Rococo Bang. - That's funny.
bangfunny
↓
0c2f4ca6-2d17-4d31-92d1-c0b6fb666e41.gif
- Isn't it? - Looks like he's feeling you up.
feeling
↓
553f7352-060c-4513-a978-d889e21ee248.gif
I don't want to get in the middle of anything here.
middle
↓
74ae1af1-256f-4a59-bc7c-aa62a675c2a8.gif
I'm just trying to teach your fiancée a new dance.
danceteach
↓
714ee1cf-ac02-46ee-9850-4b4d226970ad.gif
You don't want to deprive her of that, do you?
↓
c5545ff8-5f41-4f1f-9862-456e9e3aef5c.gif
I think a little dance instruction might help us last longer.
dancelongermight
↓
eceec61c-c61f-41ba-8a1b-d1b2ef6830df.gif
- All right. Just make it quick. - I'll make it quick.
quick
↓
b2d6f4c5-5ab6-472f-a642-613a144900a9.gif
Gloria, for this next part you're gonna want to grip my buttocks.
gloriagrippart
↓
c6b15be5-a92f-449e-abdb-329f21340484.gif
- Okay. Like that? - Right.
↓
3ee523c0-8ce4-4e78-99bc-a947a53af2b3.gif
Now we're gonna go down nice and low.
↓
c1c6e45d-71f4-4ef4-a570-74b683fac3af.gif
Now grind and shift .and around and push
grindpushshift
↓
7b0055e7-3492-40ee-a67a-3ac34e62be47.gif
- And feel and grip and grip. Good. - I see. Yeah.
grip
↓
147fd768-8320-44ac-be11-da07ed553850.gif
(exhaling sharply)
exhalingsharply
↓
3abcebc1-bd28-448d-a5ea-1d266de5c64e.gif
- I'm over it anyway. - Are you?
↓
ba90f274-bc02-46f9-81d9-ec80369177db.gif
So let's not worry about it.
worry
↓
f3257a1c-028d-4c85-a60d-976bddd18c04.gif
Let's just talk about other things for a little bit.
↓
4ba21a62-10a7-498f-a66f-21c6463a5cc5.gif
I'm glad you're over it, 'cause he's definitely gonna bang her.
bangglad
↓
5746a13f-ff92-4a03-b2b3-b5a9cd7609f5.gif
- He's gonna bang her? - You're not over it!
bang
↓
47044448-76ba-4b33-8c04-fef97689e52a.gif
I gotta stop that. I can't let that go on.
↓
b6f66225-83be-4b82-b703-58772876c556.gif
You gotta get Mac out of this competition.
competition
↓
28809b79-43fc-48ff-bd32-9cab436d5eff.gif
- Yes! I gotta get him out. - You gotta get rid of him.
↓
6f010b11-2ca3-4768-90d6-c09ee3fed6f6.gif
- How would I do that? - I got an idea.
idea
↓
f3af198b-13e7-4641-bd33-c4788f25d3d7.gif
RICKETY CRICKET: They burned you, too, didn't they?
burnedcricketricketyrickety-cricket
↓
c1af8809-1641-47ee-868b-6835a2616ded.gif
I know how it feels. The pain, the hurt.
feelshurtpain
↓
c9a1d560-6694-4fde-b728-608e8890642e.gif
How about you and me join forces, and we make things right?
forcesjoin
↓
ebc6d676-8669-45ae-9d45-213929d89e2f.gif
- Get lost, street rat! - I was a man of the cl...
loststreet
↓
bb27390a-b449-486c-b165-c6bfa0c872c4.gif
Look, I want these guys, Frank. I want them!
frank
↓
c50f0f66-758a-4cd6-98c9-3f74aa794321.gif
And I will stalk the streets and live in the shadows of the night
livenightshadowsstalkstreets
↓
b4bb044b-6900-4df9-8f91-362345dd66e9.gif
until the streets of Philadelphia run red with their blood!
bloodphiladelphiastreets
↓
e3c940ef-554f-4187-a0e2-001a7aecb232.gif
- You got a lot of anger in you. - You're damn right!
anger
↓
fc32c8d8-628d-42c9-9607-83a4b4d60c3a.gif
- Are you in or out? - I'm in.
↓
a409b969-b7db-49e8-a9a1-d795e48d6b94.gif
(whistle blows)
blowswhistlewhistle-blows
↓
2a0060b6-1a0b-457c-b77b-fc5f59c11b68.gif
Here he is. What a competition... Saw you dancing with the waitress.
competitiondancingwaitress
↓
ae04994e-90be-4e11-8e80-ae79340df6b8.gif
But I'm not jealous. I'm very impressed with your dance moves.
danceimpressedjealousmoves
↓
b4e6d183-8a31-483e-84ee-031c5f60aeea.gif
Thank you, Charlie.
charlie
↓
971d0df4-6f24-4881-9232-211c3220f4b0.gif
Much better dancing than people give you credit for.
creditdancing
↓
8993959d-951c-45c7-9cee-2e0da8ec45fe.gif
- I've always thought that. - The elbow thing...
elbow
↓
ff80173f-1e63-4e5b-a289-5d5a9e8ced79.gif
You like the elbow thing? It's a specifically choreographed.
elbowspecifically
↓
27071e60-6a43-48e2-8cae-2f1dab5b0291.gif
- I'll show it to you one day. - I don't want to learn it.
learn
↓
d6b33a6d-7835-4c64-b45f-f1a0f1671ecd.gif
You probably couldn't pull it off anyway.
pull
↓
e91ad5f8-564e-4d56-8fd9-43a6b91e8740.gif
- How do you feel about Dennis? - Dennis?
dennisdennis-dennis
↓
af71e0b8-67b4-4311-bcad-a44d489b0523.gif
Dennis has been driving me crazy.
crazydennisdriving
↓
8805ea66-8b06-4a29-bb3c-f8c50c29940b.gif
- I feel like he's a little jealous. - And nervous.
jealousnervous
↓
04ab812d-546c-4e00-9e07-a34b382cdef6.gif
Nervous that you're gonna be ranked number one
nervousnumberranked
↓
efd67e74-1141-4570-9809-a32870e0cf8a.gif
when this whole thing goes down. - You think so?
whole
↓
0f8eda7f-a38a-40a5-8999-637c41f630e8.gif
Absolutely!
absolutely
↓
6c099889-8527-4d9f-8dd0-b6815acaa1a0.gif
First of all, you deserve to be ranked number one at the bar.
deservenumberranked
↓
e36aec4d-8bb2-47d7-896b-88237823347b.gif
I think I do. I think I deserve to be number one.
deservenumber
↓
9d46c005-f4eb-4470-8371-d1937718b833.gif
I've been working so hard for so many years.
hardworkingyears
↓
7914e0c8-9a50-4c83-aab6-69cbfcc836db.gif
The cream always rises to the top.
creamrises
↓
50148e54-6775-45ce-acbd-de49a9bbce88.gif
You're made of cream, and your cream is all over his face, man.
creamface
↓
d9b4a0e8-4eec-425d-8634-05ca64e11eff.gif
- That pisses him off. - He hates that shit, dude.
hatespisses
↓
0f218c5e-4e86-4b0f-a08e-c61192c7e8a3.gif
I'm always putting my cream all over his face, and it pisses him off.
creamfacepissesputting
↓
e572d890-3e38-4c62-b9c5-f9fd1655e96e.gif
- My Gid. - We need to take Dennis out.
dennis
↓
39ac38c4-a229-4b60-8857-5c397464fea0.gif
- You think? - Yes!
↓
8f6232cc-eeb5-4a73-9b30-9acb3072c3a0.gif
- And there's only one way to do it. - What's that?
↓
28cdff9b-ffb8-4035-a95f-da7b6b5b559e.gif
(bell clangs)
bellclangs
↓
98d304ef-47cf-44f9-a115-b00ab26368b7.gif
- You don't want to do this. - I think I do, buddy.
buddy
↓
ee4c63a5-5cb9-4493-a5b6-48478336425d.gif
'Cause I got the moves that are gonna make me number one.
movesnumber
↓
cd961d41-f609-4ad0-b3be-5d12e08c3fac.gif
Why don't you just go with the best dancer?
bestdancer
↓
e356f4d7-56b4-4477-b5fa-00a55c3962b6.gif
Hit it. (dance pop)
dance
↓
e0ce2c60-5bc1-48c4-a760-f5c29dffa7a9.gif
(continues)
continues
↓
9cff4da0-2c7c-4a53-a1e3-e269e781c911.gif
#If I were you I'd take precaution
precaution
↓
8cdb1945-07e9-408a-8763-8cedba8987c6.gif
#Before I step To meet my girl#
girlmeetstep
↓
9952f44c-c3c4-4595-b68c-202b9f32d9fb.gif
- Goddamn it! - Well, glad that's settled.
gladgoddamngoddamn-itsettled
↓
160c8331-c75d-4b48-8a49-adcd664158a5.gif
I think I'm gonna go get in that chick's pants now.
chickspants
↓
afb4dff3-93da-4e6a-bf98-c538a52e8e5f.gif
MAC: I thought they were engaged. - Engaged. That's just a word.
engagedword
↓
80498bf3-aa3e-4ffb-8cf0-c50161be284b.gif
- It doesn't mean anything. - It means they're getting married.
married
↓
de6de54f-8206-4946-be01-39bc28579533.gif
Married, engaged. They're just words.
engagedmarriedwords
↓
b9914fd4-7dac-4603-8d0d-1230839125f6.gif
My parents were married and engaged once.
engagedmarriedparents
↓
e29150e0-febc-42aa-abe0-911d9fc6df35.gif
You saw how that worked out. I'm gonna go bang that chick.
bangchickworked
↓
388fdb6f-d06a-48d4-a4ee-a0fc88da8b49.gif
Enjoy wearing that keg for the rest of the competition.
competitionenjoyrestwearing
↓
2044adcd-ce13-4402-9d3a-05b0c88b6660.gif
Yeah, that's good.
↓
70538286-4d31-4cfc-b042-39288709784e.gif
Looking a little stiff there.
lookingstiff
↓
18a92dd4-17c6-4857-aab3-0b5c04fa91fa.gif
- Want me to give you pointers? - That's okay.
↓
e94ef40e-49d4-4c94-8f9d-26ca8fb16084.gif
Come on, man. Let me show you some moves.
moves
↓
2f22dbf2-1593-4650-bc95-cd503968ffd2.gif
- He's just trying to help. - All right, fine.
↓
d035e8b3-5a55-4859-8d8d-5951fa8c717b.gif
All right, here we go. I'm gonna pretend like you're Gloria.
gloriapretend
↓
249ef466-3caa-4223-8168-b785a08c8267.gif
You're not nearly as beautiful, but I can use my imagination.
imaginationnearly
↓
b194e576-d7f4-4e10-bead-0a63039e22f2.gif
I'm gonna teach you how to dip her. That's really important.
teach
↓
1fc57241-e25c-4ccc-a5ce-f1050989320b.gif
I'm gonna put my arm around your waist just like that.
waist
↓
60e6b756-b7b3-4a4f-9c3e-f5f828e74e44.gif
Keep moving. We don't want you out of the competition, right?
competitionmoving
↓
60adcb7f-4245-4849-962e-19e2c7c5d282.gif
No!
↓
8f468035-52aa-4a95-8d8a-007cd51331cc.gif
Then I'm gonna bend my knees and dip you down real low.
bendkneesreal
↓
e410cd0b-add8-466e-a2c9-858d140d07e0.gif
My goodness! What happened? You lost your grip?
goodnessgriphappenedlost
↓
595d67f7-805d-4194-a0d8-75e1f09e89ea.gif
- You dropped me on purpose! - Calm down, Robert.
calmdroppedpurposerobert
↓
9b8514b2-1f16-48db-b80e-5b635a6ad531.gif
It's perfectly natural to blame the teacher at first.
blamenaturalperfectlyteacher
↓
67436c1a-6bfc-4ebb-82d3-6199f77f9a66.gif
- We're all feeling a little tired. - You son of a bitch!
bitchfeelingtired
↓
1ea83bd3-22a7-45c7-a11f-f4ad00142d47.gif
Robert, stop. Come on. It was an accident.
accidentrobert
↓
96f7b242-39fe-4c1a-9039-eecf1c7afcff.gif
Come on! Let's get out of here!
↓
40ad926d-2c2a-48ea-8388-a76ba3f3cfc7.gif
Wait a second. You've come this far.
second
↓
c637fd07-7d35-4450-8e1f-92b5d3d3e1c9.gif
- You don't want to stop now. - Butt out, man.
butt
↓
c52dac8e-a829-42ac-a403-1e826a4c35f6.gif
This is none of your business. Now come on, honey!
businesshoney
↓
83a4d66d-cae9-4d01-9276-850ddafa8277.gif
We came here to win. We need this!
↓
0ce9f8fb-56e3-4992-8f7e-ea7b306d8185.gif
(growls) He's a violent guy.
growlsviolent
↓
0d2096d8-dd88-474d-bda9-62af1ebfcce4.gif
I know. I hate it when he gets like that.
hate
↓
0a3ddc00-72f4-499e-ab8c-0bb83be01f86.gif
Gotta be careful with that one.
careful
↓
999a709d-44bf-43d2-af6f-3cdd2a3342ca.gif
- Goddamn it. FRAANK: I feel your pain, Mac.
goddamngoddamn-itpain
↓
d3e72aff-2565-48af-ae2e-e9cc8e74bd78.gif
- We all do. - What the hell's going on here?
hells
↓
e70d3f04-3cea-407b-b083-f9a979c8c882.gif
- We're making brownies. - The drug-filled kind.
browniesdrugfilled
↓
98ff6c18-4917-47d7-a904-0674f579a5a0.gif
- Shut up, Cricket! - What's he talking about, Frank?
cricketfrank
↓
fb82a50c-982c-43c1-9ca8-a323dc114ae7.gif
They're filled with sedatives. (laughing)
filledlaughing
↓
1680ff40-b80f-40da-aefd-a3ebcafafa15.gif
You want to help me distribute them? I'll make you my number two.
distributenumber
↓
8c566845-f758-44fe-be82-7f1451635062.gif
- You're not even in the contest. - I certainly am.
certainlycontest
↓
bb5f846b-6c3e-4303-b8aa-8d2c536c5573.gif
I have an inside horse. You see this homeless gentleman?
gentlemanhomelesshorse
↓
5b700993-5a1b-4f1e-918a-8db4806e1360.gif
- He wins, I win. - Come on, Mac. Join our crew.
crewjoinwins
↓
41a3e650-05af-41e6-8dec-3505b242ee97.gif
Shut up, you goddamn street rat! Keep working!
goddamnstreetworking
↓
361ffbb5-5fc4-47fa-9894-23f78cc77cf3.gif
You are on your way out.
↓
1381b05e-495d-47c5-81e2-78727224731b.gif
So you might as well go out with a bang
bangmight
↓
c8074b8d-651d-42cc-bd86-98319d83facb.gif
and have some insurance. - Okay, I'm in.
insurance
↓
7e6f380e-3d55-49df-8f96-dbea0a1e0b1f.gif
But I don't know how much longer I can last here.
longer
↓
48974099-bb35-4212-b88d-4e630bd56488.gif
- This thing's killing my back. - I'll come up with a rig.
killing
↓
48b84e1c-91b7-449b-a99a-1efc504ae909.gif
- Definitely. - Shut up, street rat.
street
↓
cfa60fc2-b5a6-4c62-894b-d9571a9e2f21.gif
(disco)
disco
↓
52b09f76-9061-453c-abcb-615f628af181.gif
Wow. He's getting pretty close to that pretty girl.
closegirl
↓
eb0997bc-2376-4c5c-a6f7-bd976b7da66e.gif
- Yeah. - You gotta make him jealous.
jealous
↓
1e46a09b-799c-4a86-8bd6-38209424eff7.gif
I don't want to make him jealous. I want to win your bar.
jealous
↓
66eb3e6a-7d8e-4c39-9c0b-667a3911f9ed.gif
Okay.
↓
ad87dbd4-119a-4bfe-873c-813591a16ae8.gif
How do you think I could make him jealous?
jealous
↓
37ba219f-1cf8-43cb-a08e-4b42a271b9f3.gif
I'll tell you what you need to do. See that homeless guy?
homeless
↓
8e664a8c-2ff1-4ddc-b2cc-2cef1b0014e2.gif
- You gotta dance with him. - That doesn't make any sense.
dancesense
↓
890a2526-3c0b-409e-97a4-c8ff58d7bb49.gif
- It makes sense. You're tired. - I am, but it doesn't make sense.
makesmakes-sensesensetired
↓
98996325-58d5-42f3-a5ea-1ec5d3973c24.gif
- Okay, it's reverse psychology. - No, it's not.
psychologyreversereverse-psychology
↓
9ca64af8-8d16-49ec-9016-919c0c3b294c.gif
You know what? I'm his sister.
sister
↓
a2788b44-b878-479f-904c-5ace6c01985a.gif
I know him really well. I know him a lot better than you.
↓
923f891e-a79c-435e-ba19-d6235a1b8fcf.gif
The only way you're gonna be able to land Dennis
abledennisland
↓
85dfa9a4-233c-4a99-b150-8621919e8d3b.gif
s by making him feel he's lower on your list
listlower
↓
ba3545c6-593d-479c-8267-d999daa1e2ea.gif
than a disgusting, filthy homeless guy.
disgustingfilthyhomeless
↓
1eeafd19-1e1c-44b2-88cf-9a3c242eae39.gif
- I'm gonna go grind a homeless guy. - Good girl. Make it dirty.
dirtygirlgrindhomeless
↓
969d3242-0b4f-44e6-aa91-87fbb4fd40ad.gif
(swing)
swing
↓
edb2d735-ed22-43d1-9fb4-e640e8501edb.gif
My God! She's really grinding away over there!
grinding
↓
95f36005-2f6c-4508-8ba8-2e2817aaef1d.gif
Eat your heart out, Dennis Reynolds!
dennisdennis-reynoldsheartreynolds
↓
c9b710de-13c2-4a6a-85d4-0fb2a173dead.gif
Hey, pretty lady? Look, can you do me a favor?
favorlady
↓
394c1bd3-4e0a-4b3e-8406-40c68a9ad6d9.gif
Can you prop your leg up and grind on me all sexual-like?
grindpropsexual
↓
039872ff-fcce-4fba-a355-90f34342de2b.gif
Charlie's over there blowing up my spot with that girl.
blowingcharliesgirlspot
↓
78c4de98-b20e-41b3-bb99-c893c9248b83.gif
- He is blowing up your spot. - I know.
blowingspot
↓
4fc3042b-afdb-4d9a-b909-e33b5432fc85.gif
Better make some moves to get her back.
moves
↓
012ccf49-250c-4e67-8ed2-127e1c199ff0.gif
I'm gonna make some moves like a ranked number two guy would.
movesnumberranked
↓
cf779d99-ca7d-4080-8cac-07714cd3a096.gif
- You're number two. - What's up, bitches?
bitchesnumber
↓
4d2f148d-31cd-4aeb-ba47-69349b783150.gif
- Why are you dancing so strangely? - Because of all my energy.
dancingenergystrangely
↓
d0594c2b-64f5-4788-a4c9-ccefb190ed4f.gif
I got tons of energy now because of this.
energytons
↓
7cb0dc1d-02de-4a80-ab86-1bb276b707ff.gif
- Energy bar. Have some. - Looks like a shit ball.
ballenergy
↓
f5581e6a-cbba-4dae-8074-510025854fa1.gif
- No! That's an energy bar! - Why is it so heavy and big?
energyheavy
↓
d3aa2e73-9b7d-4b76-ac65-85325d239186.gif
Because it's filled with vitamins and shit.
filledvitamins
↓
addca88b-b67e-465c-b0b8-1d7f30ac819e.gif
Just eat it and you'll have a burst of energy. Trust me.
burstenergytrust
↓
7ceb3e4c-73d5-4c75-8400-2d4d4e5b7066.gif
- Don't eat it, Dee! - It's filled with cough medicine.
coughfilledmedicine
↓
387afc48-23f0-4194-989c-35c3c932664c.gif
- I love you! - You traitor bastard!
bastardlovetraitor
↓
4ef7d29e-2c77-48bf-97fd-94c5943570be.gif
- That's it, Cricket. - You're my whole life.
cricketlifewholewhole-life
↓
6b28b71f-ba05-4155-8ffe-5c60f55012b6.gif
I love you. I ain't going out without a fight!
aintfightlove
↓
b030c8c4-75b6-49cf-a0d2-9a5140ecc2e5.gif
Don't leave me in the sun. I'll burn.
burn
↓
90d2d1ad-4e30-4ffe-beff-7c20b42eb7a7.gif
You are in cahoots with those guys?
↓
aeb978a7-bea6-4ec2-a0d4-5c63090d3092.gif
I'm not in cahoots with anybody!
anybody
↓
cf863ff0-05b4-4aeb-b36a-88b47cefaf6f.gif
- You've been cahooting with them! - I have not been cahooting!
↓
1eeb7455-a6b3-4174-9b2f-f1a584eb7b84.gif
You're wearing Rickety Cricket's exoskeleton right now!
cricketsricketywearing
↓
51603638-1082-4040-9097-0247fc56195f.gif
- I am not! Okay. - Yes, you are!
↓
3ead026d-aead-4190-a6c3-e2adf9358f6a.gif
So I'm wearing it.
wearing
↓
9c493e0c-69cc-4184-9d8a-90e436769403.gif
- You are pathetic. Am I, Dee? Is this pathetic?
pathetic
↓
7318eb3f-5678-4306-8038-6ae1a6d1fb9f.gif
- What are you doing, bro? - A man can't enjoy a sexual lady?
enjoyladysexual
↓
d5b13179-46f0-4a4c-b980-ebf51b65abb2.gif
Not when it's with my partner. I'm cutting in.
cuttingpartner
↓
442733af-eb21-4570-b22f-d30e7ecf4e2b.gif
- Get out of here! I need her! - Why do you need her?
↓
6f93800b-6eb1-4fdf-a625-233f2f6b1e68.gif
- Just put it that way. - You leave me no choice, Charlie.
charliechoice
↓
9183fdbe-e646-4c2d-a952-cc7a5ef6553f.gif
- Hey, asshole. - Whatever. Wanna dance?
assholedance
↓
5ac18f2a-7feb-4c20-8b62-6ec0c81595ea.gif
- Yes! - Good.
↓
df3feb47-3c33-44df-8b47-6fcc4275f41b.gif
Good. Take a load off. Let these strong, sweet, sexual arms hold you.
armsloadsexualstrongsweet
↓
e3408b2b-08a7-47c2-a1ca-3bdd75a6e9b5.gif
- So strong. - I gotcha. So strong.
gotchastrong
↓
3555295f-dbe1-4a84-a809-58c6c1d59d8a.gif
(screams) No!
screams
↓
caaddae3-1f84-4c99-aa08-94f9937af327.gif
(whistle blows) You made me do that.
blowswhistlewhistle-blows
↓
29aab31e-18f4-4e75-b59f-7efb25f7b3f3.gif
- You piece of shit. - Yeah, maybe.
piece
↓
e5bd7f76-1b28-44c2-9c9e-283eec6c9aa1.gif
You piece of shit! Dennis Reynolds, I trusted you!
dennisdennis-reynoldspiecereynoldstrusted
↓
5738f18e-ef7d-4ecf-9a92-1778524b5aba.gif
- Why? - You're the biggest piece of shit!
biggestpiece
↓
91b4b4a8-b4cc-496d-93f6-79a7f956eea7.gif
That's it. I'm taking this one out. I'm going limp.
limp
↓
159792f6-6cef-427b-8ed8-90bbe5364b6c.gif
No, Charlie. Don't go limp. I got you, Gloria.
charlieglorialimp
↓
c9fa46ec-abd2-471c-a387-530792c3e8a2.gif
- You're hurting me! - Charlie, don't do this.
charliehurting
↓
9c7b962d-d14d-481f-ad48-f44f572c32fd.gif
- He's trying to have sex with you. - I'm not gonna have sex with you!
↓
9f285736-f5ee-425e-a861-f9087ac0631d.gif
- What do you mean? - I'm engaged!
engaged
↓
fd981aa9-c34b-40aa-bdb6-9b638aaf3d1b.gif
Engaged is just a word. It doesn't have any meaning.
engagedmeaningword
↓
7facc0d3-69be-4bec-baa3-e8609e0eb9d9.gif
- No, it's a very serious word. - Thank you!
seriousword
↓
423cb90f-f727-45fa-b0c1-3af66d1b43c8.gif
- I was getting somewhere, wasn't I? - No, you weren't.
↓
6a837eaa-3d40-47df-bf7d-15e491479013.gif
- Really? See you later. - No!
↓
f8469873-c84e-486a-b376-b5d76c069711.gif
(gasps) (whistle blows)
blowsgaspswhistlewhistle-blows
↓
8ea29d10-5902-4c16-b003-5a010ed695f2.gif
You really are the biggest piece of shit on the planet.
biggestpieceplanet
↓
c18af381-965f-4262-abdf-e07e8fe191eb.gif
- You still talking to me? (huffs) - Dick!
dickhuffs
↓
78307944-ece8-4d3f-91fc-c126e6447472.gif
Don't worry, ma'am, 'cause I'm about to take this sucker out!
maamsuckerworry
↓
6505ebcb-d9ba-4ca3-98ba-80b9abf594b2.gif
- You're gonna take me out? - You bet.
↓
a52eb0db-6ba5-4ad2-9987-af475959bc71.gif
- How are you gonna do that? - This right here. DJ Fat Michael!
michael
↓
361a8a71-31e5-487b-831f-7eff8e2b15a2.gif
- Squirrely D? - Yeah!
↓
964844c6-6f37-4af4-a8a7-86a7246b6efa.gif
Please play my dance for a dance challenge.
challengedance
↓
044d06ef-5af1-4b47-804e-a0e49679e55a.gif
- That's a can-do, my brother. - Let me tell you a lesson.
brotherlesson
↓
922b4909-c609-445e-8945-6d34f561f85d.gif
The cream always rises to the top.
creamrises
↓
a80eb4c8-a0c9-4b99-85c5-7359cdf04a5c.gif
I'm about to show you the white-hot cream of an 8th grade boy.
creamgradewhite
↓
b792145d-141f-4730-a473-af0683237cf5.gif
My God. Play the tape. (bell clangs)
bellclangstape
↓
272fe256-02f1-4209-80da-e2742efd653e.gif
(slow disco)
discoslow
↓
747b2b95-71d4-481f-bf6e-8c5ab27e187e.gif
You gotta be kidding me.
kidding
↓
6ffd0f53-b1e7-43aa-80d6-5c50d63a9b39.gif
(continues)
continues
↓
1a75b858-b307-44de-8356-6b875b24dc1e.gif
#Watching every motion In my foolish lovers game
foolishgameloversmotionwatching
↓
2a98d8dd-b221-4e1b-a755-1ce1edfbc94e.gif
#On this endless ocean Finally lovers know no shame#
endlessfinallyloversoceanshame
↓
12804278-7ed5-4467-a6d6-64b21d8fc1e6.gif
It was like a ballet.
ballet
↓
27ca340f-f131-4f83-934c-8fc49bf40191.gif
How did he remember the choreography? It was 20 years ago.
choreographyrememberyears
↓
cf38acec-98d1-4d28-b388-5c8a8e4470c1.gif
I don't know. It was beautiful, man.
↓
224045fb-4c72-4bb3-9396-8754db00ef34.gif
- What's going on, monkeys? - How are those kegs treating you?
kegsmonkeystreating
↓
eeef0fca-9e54-4b9f-a52e-ebaf25db5cdd.gif
Pretty good. What you munching on, pal?
↓
c4599713-3548-4cb7-b6b3-06e40399f68c.gif
Energy ball, courtesy of my partner here.
ballcourtesyenergypartner
↓
74e1dabf-b0df-4168-99ed-5f6a573f114f.gif
- You look pretty woozy there. - I'm feeling woozy.
feelingwoozy
↓
a3c7afb9-eeb5-4e1d-aac7-05ea8d123650.gif
What is it? Wait. What is up, man? I feel like I'm tripping.
tripping
↓
415ed5a0-b2bb-4f15-95c9-05b03a9fdd0b.gif
Charlie, that might be the cough medicine.
charliecoughmedicinemight
↓
f984d21a-33d9-4dd9-a099-4f8a14847f60.gif
You got about 15 minutes until you drop like a ton of bricks.
bricksdropminutes
↓
5832bd26-10ff-4491-ba6a-90b13a965e31.gif
- Holy shit! Did you play me? - I played you good.
holyplayed
↓
b0a5a38e-2ffb-4b70-adeb-64548749e371.gif
Maybe now you two jerks might want to start treating me with respect.
jerksmightrespectstarttreating
↓
d9f72b90-9618-4ffb-9f82-53289f87a325.gif
- Why would we show you respect? - Yeah, why?
respect
↓
74a2a25f-3734-48b5-97de-421828742043.gif
I masterminded this situation. (blows raspberry)
blowsblows-raspberryraspberrysituation
↓
9044de18-c6cf-44a0-95c7-a910eb9923c8.gif
Not only did I get Charlie to eat a drug-filled brownie,
browniecharliedrugfilled
↓
607979d8-2bb5-4f33-875f-a76f6e89dc59.gif
I got everybody in here to do it.
everybody
↓
8521e5ef-5639-4a5d-b3ba-0569080901f2.gif
Pretty soon, people are gonna be dropping like flies,
droppingflies
↓
b60f5c9a-92db-43a0-b438-c71252aab866.gif
and it's gonna be me and you two jerks.
jerks
↓
712ae76c-82dc-4e82-8303-506b61714285.gif
- Good luck with those kegs, boners. - Bitch.
bitchbonerskegsluck
↓
f0f6cac7-2699-450d-a3d5-b3cdcafc575d.gif
There is enough cough medicine in there to kill a gorilla.
coughgorillakillmedicine
↓
05eb7397-53b8-42ce-bb3e-ee063e91b36a.gif
If you keep eating it, you're not gonna last five minutes.
eatingfivefive-minutesminutes
↓
d3940add-757d-4ec5-ab5a-4b05b44139ab.gif
Bro, I can handle my sedatives.
handle
↓
94d5fcf1-c88c-431b-b6e8-c7ec4c6c0fd6.gif
(waltz)
waltz
↓
685803a4-490a-4db7-80f5-b84dad726e28.gif
(continues)
continues
↓
00d0f83c-80f4-44a9-8a68-ffc23074f654.gif
I cannot believe how long Charlie has lasted after eating the brownie.
believebrowniecannotcannot-believecharlieeatinglasted
↓
f9ce6276-ac32-487c-80df-0296f9b2a001.gif
Karate, snow machine... Chop set...
chopkaratemachinesnow
↓
cb7ad01d-0eaf-4673-9251-06a67e207881.gif
- What's with the chopping? - I'm chopping all over my action.
actionchopping
↓
b841c438-d70e-4a0c-b9ae-b0669bfbc2fd.gif
And mostly power.
mostlypower
↓
61026b41-8a64-4a85-bc0a-7f88732e9f5e.gif
- He's lost his damn mind. - My back's killing me.
backskillinglostmind
↓
048fd293-41ff-4ca5-99f2-5a2849174cea.gif
Break me off a piece of that exoskeleton.
breakpiece
↓
d7c611be-ef8d-4362-901d-5e28efcd1c14.gif
It doesn't work that way.
↓
c02c2c7b-8957-407a-8850-fbdbaae36d7b.gif
You can't just break off a piece of an exoskeleton.
breakpiece
↓
99508e60-251d-484b-ae64-ce17f6dff474.gif
Give me some of that liquid hydraulic shit!
liquid
↓
a13e4c7c-c6c5-49db-8885-775c1b3f8ae7.gif
It's a sensitive science! Don't use your elbows!
elbowssciencesensitive
↓
1410294c-55c5-4b9f-97ab-3b9e7489587d.gif
Dennis, what are you doing? (whistle blows)
blowsdenniswhistlewhistle-blows
↓
4737c8d6-0213-45d1-9bd3-df6c19bb6e64.gif
- Double whammy! - Are you happy? Dee's gonna win.
deesdoublehappy
↓
871e4fa0-a1bb-4171-adbb-5f8daf9c0e89.gif
No. We still got Charlie.
charlie
↓
08bce5c7-e263-4e1c-b8fa-91495de22370.gif
(whistle blows) Don't worry about it.
blowswhistlewhistle-blowsworry
↓
b0768146-4613-40fa-b4bd-da7b139edcb2.gif
I got an inside horse, Larry. That's my inside horse.
horselarry
↓
ba98a91b-a1f8-4a55-95f4-9e0daa0fb91e.gif
- Larry! Stay awake! - Go, Larry!
awakelarry
↓
5101c070-7cae-4325-83e5-bd18b417ccd3.gif
He's staying up! Come on, Larry! You can do it!
larrystaying
↓
91e1efbc-0981-4987-b4e6-76d6eccfa44e.gif
You feeling bad? That's too bad.
feeling
↓
cc1e0bb6-ebd4-4aa6-a515-21f8aad95022.gif
'Cause I'm just getting my second wind. Cricket! Now!
cricketsecondsecond-windwind
↓
0f8bc243-08fa-4cd3-80f2-28b59f5dde4d.gif
Here I come, Dee! I love you so much!
love
↓
bd12590e-6e15-4f82-88ba-dfab6e021ed6.gif
(screaming) (whistle blows)
blowsscreamingwhistlewhistle-blows
↓
1caeaef9-32a8-4846-8391-220c7d50ddf9.gif
- My God, my knee! - Larry! You won the bar for us!
kneelarry
↓
d5dceb2b-809e-4db2-9a65-e4bd46d32f1d.gif
- Larry wins! All right, Larry! - I have a shattered kneecap!
larryshatteredwins
↓
d7ebf0cc-17e8-48ee-b94f-0d1539a56cf0.gif
- Dee, we can start again. Right? - Never talk to me again, rat!
start
↓
5c288536-de20-4513-a9d7-6d52e9f3533a.gif
Look on the bright side. At least you're not ranked last anymore.
anymorebrightbright-sideleastrankedside
↓
711cf509-10a3-43fd-bc48-b38f93461204.gif
- Who's last now? - Charlie.
charlie
↓
cf872ec1-b598-42b4-8a3a-7d04018db37d.gif
MAC: That kid really needs to learn how to read.
learnneedsread