Giffer
Gallery
Login
Home
»
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
» S04E01 — Mac and Dennis - Manhunters
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
Combine Images
Clear
❮
✕
❯
Season 4, Episode 1 — Mac and Dennis - Manhunters
CHARLIE: Would you describe this piece as more savory or succulent?
#1
⇓
DEE: It's definitely way too overcooked to be succulent.
#2
⇓
- But it's still pretty delicious. - It's still savory, right?
#3
⇓
What if we soaked it in beer?
#4
⇓
Do you think that would help it regain its succulence?
#5
⇓
Like a beer rub? That's actually really smart.
#6
⇓
- Mac, grab us some beers. - Bite my bird.
#7
⇓
- What are you eating? - Dee and I cooked up a great steak.
#8
⇓
Frank's got this whole fridge full of delicious meats.
#9
⇓
- You guys want to try? - Someone who sweats as much as you
#10
⇓
should not work with food. - Charlie! You son of a bitch!
#11
⇓
I told you to stay away from my meat! Spit it out!
#12
⇓
- Come on, man. - Spit it out! Now!
#13
⇓
You too! Spit!
#14
⇓
- Come on. - Right there.
#15
⇓
- Why are you such a selfish jerk? - I killed the deer,
#16
⇓
I should get to eat it. That's the natural order.
#17
⇓
- You shot a deer? - That's right, 10 point buck.
#18
⇓
(imitates gun firing) Right between its soulful eyes.
#19
⇓
- Since when do you hunt, bro? - Since always. I'm a great hunter.
#20
⇓
How does hunting a defenseless creature make you a good hunter?
#21
⇓
Yeah. You should go after something that could at least defend itself.
#22
⇓
A really great hunter would go after something that could hunt him back.
#23
⇓
- Like a man. - A man?
#24
⇓
- Don't joke about hunting no man. - Who's joking? I'm not joking.
#25
⇓
Hunting a man would be the only true test of a good hunter.
#26
⇓
I was hunted once. I just came back from 'Nam.
#27
⇓
I was hitching through Oregon, and some cop started harassing me.
#28
⇓
Next thing you know, I had a whole army of cops chasing me!
#29
⇓
I had to take 'em all out. It was a bloodbath.
#30
⇓
That's "Rambo", dude.
#31
⇓
What?
#32
⇓
You just described the plot of "Rambo".
#33
⇓
- That's from the first one. - It's "First Blood".
#34
⇓
DENNIS: That's not the first time you've described your life
#36
⇓
I could get on board with a manhunt. - Really? Me too, dude.
#38
⇓
(both laugh)
#40
⇓
- Screw you. - Yeah.
#41
⇓
CHARLIE: Try that one. DEE: This one?
#42
⇓
- And get a little bit of the sauce. - I don't have any sauce left.
#43
⇓
- It's just the natural juices... - It's so good.
#44
⇓
- It's not an actual sauce. - Oh, my God. Good job.
#45
⇓
I can't believe that dickhole put the lock on the refrigerator.
#46
⇓
- What a son of a bitch. - That wasn't cool.
#47
⇓
- He forgot about this piece. - That dumbass.
#48
⇓
But did you do something different? 'Cause it's so good this time.
#49
⇓
- I barely cooked it. - Really?
#50
⇓
- I slapped it on the radiator. - That's pretty gross.
#52
⇓
- And that warmed it... - It's so good. I don't care.
#53
⇓
- Okay, good. - Well, well, well...
#54
⇓
What have we here? Looks like you two have been enjoying my meat!
#55
⇓
- We have, you fascist meat hog. - Yeah! Hey, Frankie.
#56
⇓
#Sharing, it's a rule now# (blows raspberry)
#57
⇓
I'm glad you enjoyed yourselves.
#58
⇓
A nice port
#60
⇓
that would complement what you have just eaten.
#61
⇓
- Was it venison? - You wish it was venison!
#63
⇓
- Was it a horse? - Horse?
#64
⇓
That which you have just eaten,
#65
⇓
that which your teeth have just torn apart,
#66
⇓
your taste buds have savored,
#67
⇓
that was human meat.
#68
⇓
(scoffs) (laughs)
#69
⇓
Yeah, okay. You're so stupid.
#70
⇓
Thank you for our human meat. It was delicious.
#71
⇓
- I knew you were gonna steal again. - You're stupid.
#72
⇓
And only left one piece of meat out.
#74
⇓
- Human meat. - All right,
#75
⇓
where'd you get the human meat from, Frank?
#76
⇓
- I got a guy. - You got a guy?
#77
⇓
- You're so full of shit. - You think I'm full of shit?
#79
⇓
- You enjoy yourselves now. - Thank you.
#80
⇓
I am glad you had a good time eating...
#81
⇓
- Thank you. - ... human meat.
#82
⇓
(chuckles)
#83
⇓
(door opens) (gasps)
#84
⇓
(door closes)
#85
⇓
- That wasn't human meat, was it? - No!
#86
⇓
Hey-o! Dennis, I did it! It took me all day,
#87
⇓
but I finished the list of 10 people that would be perfect to hunt.
#88
⇓
I totally respect your opinion, but I've already made a decision.
#89
⇓
That's the complete opposite of respecting my opinion.
#90
⇓
Hey. Dennis, are you sure Dee is coming?
#92
⇓
Yeah, she's coming. She just wants to look great for your big date.
#93
⇓
- Cricket, bro? Are you serious? - Yeah. He's perfect.
#94
⇓
You don't believe me? Check it out.
#95
⇓
Cricket, come out here for a second, please.
#96
⇓
Yeah. Just stand before us here. Now check out his legs.
#97
⇓
See how they've almost healed? They're pretty much back to perfect.
#98
⇓
MAC: Yeah. - And check out his cane.
#99
⇓
It looks like he's whittled it into some sort of defensive tool.
#100
⇓
Wow. Bet that makes you quite formidable.
#101
⇓
What's going on here? Where's Dee?
#102
⇓
- Admit it, Mac. He's perfect. - Yeah, he'll do just fine.
#103
⇓
Oh, God. I knew you were up to something.
#104
⇓
- You're gonna harvest my organs? - Relax.
#105
⇓
Relax. Take it easy.
#106
⇓
So, she is coming? (laughs)
#108
⇓
Okay. Okay.
#109
⇓
I thought you guys were gonna do something terrible to me.
#110
⇓
- Yeah, we are. She's not coming. - No. We're gonna hunt you.
#111
⇓
- What? - We are going to hunt you, Cricket.
#112
⇓
Why?
#113
⇓
I'd spend a lot less time asking questions and more time running.
#114
⇓
Don't get caught.
#116
⇓
- And the hunt begins. - Indeed.
#118
⇓
- This is gonna be fun. - Yeah.
#119
⇓
What do you suppose is gonna happen when we do catch him?
#120
⇓
I suppose we do something tea bag related.
#121
⇓
(knocking on door)
#122
⇓
Dee! You're home. Thank God. Let's have a quick conversation.
#123
⇓
- I couldn't sleep. Could you? - No.
#124
⇓
- And I'll tell you why. Yesterday. - Yesterday.
#125
⇓
- What's going on? - I didn't want to say anything.
#126
⇓
But there's something strange going on with this meat situation.
#127
⇓
Yes! Now I know it's crazy, the idea of Frank feeding us human meat.
#128
⇓
- Yes! - I've been trying to disprove it.
#129
⇓
- I absolutely can't. - You can't do it, can you?
#130
⇓
- Let's talk the taste. - The taste, Charlie.
#131
⇓
I can't get the taste out of my mouth!
#132
⇓
- You can't get it out, right? - Absolutely not.
#133
⇓
Have you tried other meats? Like deli meats and sandwich meats?
#134
⇓
- Absolutely! - Did you go crazy
#135
⇓
I even licked the cat's fanny. Like nothing's working, right?
#137
⇓
Maybe it's a trick, okay?
#138
⇓
Maybe he went and got some weird exotic meat.
#139
⇓
- It's not grocery store meat. - Not meat from a grocery store.
#140
⇓
- He got it from some weird place. - Let's put our heads together.
#141
⇓
Where could Frank go to get mysterious meat?
#142
⇓
DEE: This is the place? CHARLIE: This is it.
#143
⇓
Grab as much stuff as you can.
#144
⇓
We'll take that big brown mound, and the curly stuff.
#145
⇓
And then this thing that looks like a blanket, definitely.
#146
⇓
What about a monkey? Monkeys are like nature's humans.
#147
⇓
- I doubt they have monkey, Charlie. - People eat monkey, Dee.
#148
⇓
MAN: Hey.
#150
⇓
We got monkey.
#151
⇓
Would you look at that? Great.
#152
⇓
One monkey also then, please.
#153
⇓
(laughs) Yeah, baby!
#154
⇓
- This hunt is gonna be so awesome! - Yeah, bro!
#155
⇓
This is what it must feel like before you go into battle!
#156
⇓
I know, man. I'm so excited. Feel my nips.
#157
⇓
- Holy smokes! - They're super hard, right?
#158
⇓
- You could cut glass. - I know.
#159
⇓
- What are you doing? - I'm feeling his nips.
#160
⇓
I am so excited for this hunt, that my nips are doing stuff
#161
⇓
they've never done before. Feel 'em.
#162
⇓
- What hunt? - We're gonna hunt Cricket.
#163
⇓
I thought we went over this already. You do not hunt a man!
#164
⇓
Don't bring me down. Not right now. Not while my nips are like this.
#165
⇓
You know, you hunt a man, he could snap like a twig.
#166
⇓
Next thing you know, he's up at night,
#167
⇓
he's burning down a village in 'Nam,
#168
⇓
he's killing everything that moves, everything that lives!
#169
⇓
- You're talking about "Rambo". - No. That happened to me.
#170
⇓
- You're thinking of John Rambo's... - No, I'm not. This happened to me.
#171
⇓
- That never happened to you, Frank. - It happened to me, Mac.
#172
⇓
You're confusing your life with "Rambo" again.
#173
⇓
No, Charlie! This is not right. I still have the craving.
#174
⇓
I have it too. I have it even worse than before I think.
#175
⇓
Something really weird is happening to me.
#176
⇓
Frank fed us human meat and we got the hunger.
#177
⇓
- The hunger? - That's how you become a cannibal.
#178
⇓
(fly buzzing) Like you get one taste of delicious human meat,
#179
⇓
none of this stuff ever satisfies you ever again.
#180
⇓
- I think that you're overreacting. - Really?
#181
⇓
- Yeah, that's stupid. - Is that stupid? I'm sorry, Dee!
#182
⇓
"Jaws 4" is stupid, because that's the exact same plot!
#183
⇓
Okay! All right, calm down!
#184
⇓
Before you start accusing us of becoming cannibals or sharks
#185
⇓
or whatever it is you're trying to say,
#186
⇓
I think we need to find out if what we ate was actually human.
#187
⇓
No shit. That's what we've been doing.
#188
⇓
- I ate a ... monkey, Dee! - Charlie, you don't understand me.
#189
⇓
I think we need to try a piece of human flesh.
#190
⇓
- Oh, God. - Just to make sure.
#191
⇓
- That's the only way. - Right?
#192
⇓
- Okay, how are we gonna do this? - The morgue?- Hear me out.
#193
⇓
- It's a dead body... - Sold.
#194
⇓
You don't even have to tell me, man. That's where you find dead bodies.
#195
⇓
- And then we'll know. - We'll be off the hook.
#197
⇓
- I got a hot plate. - I'm gonna get some beers.
#198
⇓
MAC: Any sign of him? - No.
#199
⇓
But word on the street is he's out here begging most Saturdays.
#200
⇓
- He'll be here. - Hunting is awesome, Dennis!
#201
⇓
You get to wear sweet clothes and get wasted all day.
#202
⇓
It's just like our normal lives, except at the end of it,
#203
⇓
we get to put our nuts in some dude's mouth.
#204
⇓
Actually, I wanted to talk to you about that aspect of it.
#205
⇓
- You're not happy with the plan? - No. Look, dude.
#206
⇓
We've been tea-bagging Cricket since high school.
#207
⇓
I feel like we need to make some progress.
#208
⇓
- We should give him a gorilla mask. - What's a gorilla mask?
#209
⇓
You put something sticky all over his face
#210
⇓
and then sprinkle it with shaved pubes.
#211
⇓
- No, I don't like it. - What's not to like?
#212
⇓
Cricket with a face full of pubes? Hilarious.
#213
⇓
But where are we supposed to get that many pubes, man?
#214
⇓
- We shave! - That's a problem. I laser.
#215
⇓
It's like a turtle shell down there.
#216
⇓
- What? - Look, man.
#217
⇓
Classics are classics for a reason.
#218
⇓
- Why go and mess with that? - It's called progress, Dennis.
#219
⇓
I don't want to make progress! We're sticking with the tea-bagging!
#220
⇓
- But it doesn't even leave a mark! - Fine!
#221
⇓
I'll dip my nuts in ink or something and then put it in his mouth!
#222
⇓
- That make you happy? - That's a pretty good idea.
#223
⇓
- It leaves a mark all over him. - I'm glad we just thought of it.
#224
⇓
MAC: It's an excellent idea. So we can dunk him down and...
#225
⇓
- Glad we went through that. - We're thinking outside the box.
#226
⇓
- I like it. Cricket! - Get him!
#227
⇓
Get him!
#228
⇓
- How did his legs just do that? - I'm not doing that, Dennis.
#229
⇓
- That was incredibly dangerous. - Let's go polish off that case.
#230
⇓
Did not know he was capable of that.
#231
⇓
Okay.
#232
⇓
(clears throat)
#233
⇓
- Hi. - Hi.
#234
⇓
- Sorry to bug you here. - How are you?
#235
⇓
- I'm good. - We're two friends
#236
⇓
of one of the dead people that you have in there.
#237
⇓
- Very close friends. - And we wanted to...
#238
⇓
- Spend some time maybe. - We wanted to say goodbye.
#239
⇓
- Say goodbye to her, him, or... - To him, I...
#240
⇓
- He had a... - A long life that was good.
#241
⇓
What's the hot plate for?
#242
⇓
- The hot... - The hot plate is because...
#243
⇓
- Our friend was a... - He was a chef...
#244
⇓
- A chef who cooked... - ... of small plates of things.
#245
⇓
- Many small items on a hot plate. - He mostly just heated it up.
#246
⇓
And we thought maybe if he saw or was near the hot plate...
#247
⇓
- It would make him feel... - Right. Spare me the act.
#248
⇓
I'll give you guys the same deal I give everyone else.
#249
⇓
Fifty bucks gets you 10 minutes alone with the bodies.
#250
⇓
- What? - What is he talking about?
#251
⇓
I gotta say though, I ain't never seen a guy and a girl
#252
⇓
bang one of these stiffs at the same time.
#253
⇓
You've got the wrong idea about us. We're gonna have a bite of...
#255
⇓
I don't judge you guys. It's cool.
#256
⇓
I like yogurt up my ass and a popsicle stick in my mouth.
#257
⇓
Let's just give this guy his 50 bucks!
#258
⇓
- You're the one with the hot plate. DEE: That is...
#259
⇓
- Weirdo. - That is much worse. Pay him.
#260
⇓
I'm the weirdo says the guy with the yogurt up his ass.
#261
⇓
- Holy shit. - Holy shit.
#262
⇓
- These are dead bodies. - Two dead guys.
#263
⇓
This is the real deal here.
#264
⇓
- I don't think I can eat this guy. - No. I don't think I can.
#265
⇓
- It's not because he's black? - What?
#267
⇓
- Okay. - No. I just don't think so. No.
#268
⇓
- It's because he's dead, right? - It's because he's dead.
#269
⇓
- It's because he's dead. Okay. - That's why not.
#270
⇓
(exhales) I got a question for you.
#271
⇓
- Shit, Charlie. Now it is. - I'm sorry, Dee.
#273
⇓
The white guy over here looks better to me for some reason.
#274
⇓
- He looks so much better. - I don't eat dark meat.
#275
⇓
- No, I prefer the white meat. - It's not that guy. It's this guy.
#276
⇓
The problem is I'm gonna have a really hard time
#277
⇓
f we're cannibals and racists. - We're not, Dee!
#278
⇓
- I just want to make sure... - That's not for us.
#279
⇓
We're just here to eat some dude.
#281
⇓
- So let's eat a piece of him. - Let's get him.
#283
⇓
- No, me neither. - No.
#285
⇓
The good news is that means we're not racist.
#286
⇓
- Yeah, I guess so. - Okay.
#287
⇓
(panting) I made it! I'm fast as lightning.
#288
⇓
I'm fast as lightning. I beat you, bitches.
#289
⇓
(panting continues)
#290
⇓
Hey, street rat. (gasps)
#291
⇓
- Don't... - Hey!
#292
⇓
I'm not here to kill you.
#293
⇓
I'm here to help you turn the tables on Mac and Dennis.
#294
⇓
t ain't okay to hunt humans!
#296
⇓
- Yeah? - They drew first blood, not you.
#297
⇓
- They what? - They drew first blood!
#298
⇓
What is that? Is that... Is that "Rambo"?
#299
⇓
- No, I made that up. - No. That's "Rambo".
#300
⇓
- You want me to help you or not? - Yes.
#301
⇓
Come on. Let's go. (laughs)
#302
⇓
Holy shit.
#303
⇓
(door opens) Holy shit, dude.
#304
⇓
"Tag! You're it!" And a knife? What the hell is this, man?
#305
⇓
What? Are you kidding me? You gorilla-masked me?
#307
⇓
Yes! That is so much more awesome than tea-bagging!
#308
⇓
Combine Images
Clear Selection
Combined Images
