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Home » It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia » S03E05 — The Aluminum Monster vs. Fatty Magoo

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Season 3, Episode 5 — The Aluminum Monster vs. Fatty Magoo

TMDB episode metadata

Show: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Episode title: The Aluminum Monster vs. Fatty Magoo

Air date: September 27, 2007

Director: Fred Savage

Top billed cast: Charlie Day, Glenn Howerton, Rob Mac, Kaitlin Olson, Danny DeVito

Dee is shocked to learn that an overweight social outcast from her High School has become a rich and skinny fashion designer.

Source: TMDB

↓

That's a good shirt, Charlie. I like it. You should buy that.

charlie shirt

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You like it? Okay, stand a little to your left, please.

left stand

↓

- Why? - Just a little bit to your left?

left

↓

- Why, Charlie? - So I can steal it.

charlie steal

↓

No, you're not gonna steal it. Just buy the shirt.

shirt steal

↓

It's fine. It doesn't even have the exploding ink thing on it.

exploding

↓

- We're good. - Oh, great news.

news

↓

I'm not getting arrested with you. So buy it.

arrested

↓

(Scoffs) What is the point?

point scoffs

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The point is that you have, like, four articles of clothing.

articles clothing four point

↓

And that's it for years and years and years now.

years

↓

- So buy something new. - All right,

↓

first of all, this place is a rip-off, okay?

place

↓

Secondly, someone should teach these people how to do a decent hem,

decent secondly teach

↓

don't you think? - Are you unsatisfied with that hem?

↓

- Very unsatisfied with the hem. - What do you know about hems?

↓

I've been sewing my clothes back together for almost my entire life.

clothes entire entire-life life sewing

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I know a thing or two about a hem, Dee, all right?

↓

- Well, that's just sad. - Well, it's not sad.

↓

It's a very valuable skill set. So, you know...

skill valuable

↓

- Just try the shirt on and buy it. - All right.

shirt

↓

WOMAN: Shut up!

woman

↓

- Shut up! Dee Reynolds? - Yeah.

reynolds

↓

Ingrid! Nelson. From high school.

ingrid ingrid-nelson nelson school

↓

- Ingrid Nelson? (laughs) - Yeah.

ingrid ingrid-nelson laughs nelson

↓

You look so different. What happened to all of the fat parts?

happened parts

↓

I lost 'em! I lost a ton of weight!

lost weight

↓

And look at you. You look so beautiful.

↓

You don't have that hideously, ugly,

ugly

↓

disgusting back brace anymore. - Yeah. Yeah.

anymore brace disgusting

↓

Oh, God! We were such losers in high school!

losers school

↓

Do you remember what people used to call us?

remember used

↓

Uh, I don't remember.

remember

↓

The Aluminum Monster and Fatty Magoo!

aluminum aluminum-monster fatty fatty-magoo magoo monster

↓

- Yeah, that was it. - Remember?

remember

↓

- Yeah. Yes. - You were the Aluminum Monster!

aluminum aluminum-monster monster

↓

- I was Fatty Magoo! - Yes. Yes.

fatty fatty-magoo magoo

↓

Hey, do you remember how you used to say that you were gonna be famous

famous remember used

↓

and have your own clothing line? - Did I say that?

clothing line

↓

Oh, my God. Every day.

↓

Every day, it was "famous actress this" and "famous model that".

actress famous model

↓

And all the kids did was laugh at you.

kids laugh

↓

That is a good memory.

memory

↓

Well, no. I mean, it inspired me. I thought to myself,

inspired

↓

"If the Aluminum Monster can do it, then so can I."

aluminum aluminum-monster monster

↓

- Oh! - Dee, you're in my store!

store

↓

- This is your store? - Yes!

store

↓

Wow! (laughs)

laughs

↓

- All this, yours? Gosh! - Yeah.

gosh

↓

Hey, so, did you ever do... Are you a model now?

model

↓

- Are you... Did you... - Well, yeah, yeah, yeah.

↓

- Yeah? - Not-Not-Not... Yeah.

↓

Not right now... because I'm shopping.

shopping

↓

- Did you go to law school? - Oh, my God, I did!

school

↓

- You did? - Yeah, for a little while.

↓

- I loved it. - God, you must be so busy.

busy loved must

↓

I'm so busy. So busy that I have to go.

busy

↓

But it was really excellent to see you.

excellent

↓

- It was so good to see you too. - Oh, and congratulations.

congratulations

↓

- I would love to hang out. - Hang out? We're gonna hang out!

hang love

↓

We're gonna do that! We're gonna do all of that!

↓

Okay. (laughs)

laughs

↓

Charlie. You're not gonna believe this.

believe charlie

↓

I just ran into the biggest loser from my high school.

biggest loser school

↓

- And she owns this store! - Really?

owns store

↓

I used to say all this stuff about...

stuff used

↓

how I was gonna be big and famous to keep her down.

famous

↓

- Oh, yeah. - But it did the opposite.

opposite

↓

It inspired her or something, which is terrible.

inspired

↓

I'll tell you what. Calm down. Here's what you do, all right?

calm

↓

Pop on a couple things, slip 'em on, we'll walk right out of here.

couple slip walk

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No. No, that's not good enough. I gotta beat her at her own game.

beat game

↓

Charlie? I got a fatty to take down.

charlie fatty

↓

Dee, how's your design coming along?

along coming coming-along design

↓

I can't believe you stole that shirt.

believe shirt stole

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Come on. I steal lots of things. You don't have to get all huffy.

lots steal

↓

- Let me take a look. - No. It's not ready for looking.

looking ready

↓

Let me take a look... See, I'll tell you if I like it or not.

↓

- I'm not ready, Charlie. - What are you guys working on?

charlie ready working

↓

Dee's designing a dress to put her old nerd friend back in her place.

dees designing dress friend nerd place

↓

- Oh, which nerd friend? - Um, the fat one.

friend nerd

↓

- Ingrid Nelson. - Ingrid... Oh, Fatty Magoo?

fatty fatty-magoo ingrid ingrid-nelson magoo nelson

↓

- That's right. - Oh, your old sidekick.

sidekick

↓

- What's she been up to? - She owns her own clothing store.

clothing owns store

↓

So Dee's making a dress. I'm gonna help her sew it.

dees dress

↓

Because according to Dee, I'm a loser too. Did you know this?

according loser

↓

But, Sweet Dee, being a winner's not something that you can become.

become sweet winners

↓

It's something that you're kind of born with. Like me.

born

↓

- Like us. - Like me.

↓

- Let me take a look at this. - No, hold on.

↓

- Let's just peek at it. - I feel like

peek

↓

you're gonna make fun of it. It's not done yet. (laughs)

fun laughs

↓

Dee, when did... What is this? Is it a boat?

boat

↓

- No, it's... - It's a boat with a triangle.

boat triangle

↓

- It's not a boat. CHARLIE: No, there's a cup

boat charlie

↓

and a straw. - It's a cocktail dress.

cocktail dress straw

↓

- That's a strap. - Is it a raincoat?

raincoat strap

↓

- It's not a raincoat! - No. That's a plug.

plug raincoat

↓

- It's a lightbulb. - Well, in my head, it's very...

head

↓

It's elegant. I'm having a hard time putting it out onto paper...

elegant hard having paper putting

↓

Through your hands? Have your hands been smashed with hammers?

hammers hands smashed

↓

- What is wrong with you? - You're definitely not gonna be

↓

putting anybody in their place with a drawing like this.

anybody drawing place putting

↓

- Let me give it a shot. - Dennis, take a stab at it.

dennis shot stab

↓

I'm gonna start with the breasts.

breasts start

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- Oh, naturally. - Come on!

naturally

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CHARLIE: Oh, those are beautiful. - Bountiful.

charlie

↓

- I would say so. Oh, yeah! - Gorgeous, right? You see? Okay?

gorgeous

↓

- That is some good... - Then we move on to the waist.

waist

↓

(whistles) - Yes. - Delicate, precise.

delicate precise whistles

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You can draw. I'm getting kind of, like, a little flustered here.

draw

↓

Yeah, that's understandable. She's a nice looking lady.

lady looking understandable

↓

I'll tell you what, dude. How about I take this sketch, right?

sketch

↓

And then I talk to Frank about, you know, a really good sewing machine.

frank machine sewing

↓

- And then I whip up a prototype... - Oh, of my designs?

prototype whip

↓

What? You dick! Charlie, come on!

charlie dick

↓

- I thought we were a team! - Relax. I'm still gonna help you

relax team

↓

make your raincoat with the straw. - It's not a raincoat!

raincoat straw

↓

What is this? This woman doesn't even have a rib cage.

cage woman

↓

Doesn't matter, Dee. Because winners always win.

matter winners

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You're not a winner because you used to be popular in high school.

popular school used winner

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But I think you peaked.

peaked

↓

Peaked? Peaked, Dee?

peaked

↓

Mmm. (chuckles)

chuckles

↓

Let me tell you something. I haven't even begun to peak.

begun peak

↓

And when I do peak, you'll know.

peak

↓

Because I'm gonna peak so hard

hard peak

↓

that everybody in Philadelphia's gonna feel it.

everybody philadelphias

↓

I'm in my prime. And I bet you that I could sell these dresses

dresses prime sell

↓

to Fatty Magoo just based on these sketches alone.

alone based fatty fatty-magoo magoo sketches

↓

And your loser friend is gonna buy 'em because she's a fatty.

fatty friend loser

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And that's just the way of the world.

world

↓

All I have to do is turn on my winning charm...

charm winning

↓

and Fatty Magoo will be putty in my hands.

fatty fatty-magoo hands magoo

↓

- 'Cause us winners always win. - He wasn't talking about you.

winners

↓

I... think he was.

↓

- It's too streaky. - Where?

↓

- Everywhere. Fix it. - Well, I'm trying, Frank!

frank

↓

I've never spray-painted a chair before. Why do you cover your mouth?

chair cover mouth painted spray

↓

Because that lead paint is extremely toxic.

extremely lead paint toxic

↓

What? Is that why I'm feeling so dizzy?

dizzy feeling

↓

Hey, all I'm hearing is excuses. And I still have a blotchy chair.

blotchy chair excuses hearing

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Wait a second! What am I saying? What am I doing here?

second

↓

You're making my chair look like it was dipped in gold.

chair dipped gold

↓

- Now get back to work. - Nobody is stupid enough

nobody stupid

↓

to think that your chair was dipped in gold, Frank.

chair dipped frank gold

↓

- Why am I helping you? - Because I'm manipulating you.

helping manipulating

↓

That's the way I get people to do things for me.

↓

- Really? - Yeah.

↓

Shit, that's awesome. How did you do that?

awesome

↓

If you make my chair look really nice, I will tell you.

chair

↓

Deal! (laughs)

deal laughs

↓

- I got you. - Oh, great. Oh, good, good.

↓

Excellent. Listen, man. I need to use your business connections

business connections excellent

↓

to see if I can get a really cheap sewing machine.

cheap machine sewing

↓

Why?

↓

Dennis and I are gonna make a dress, see if we can sell it.

dennis dress sell

↓

You're gonna go in the garment business?

business

↓

No, dude. I'm not going into the garment business, okay?

business

↓

I'm just gonna make one single dress with Dennis.

dennis dress single

↓

- Who's gonna run the operation? - It's not an operation, dude.

operation

↓

Look, I just want your help getting a sewing machine.

machine sewing

↓

Whoa. Wait. Has that chair been dipped in gold?

chair dipped gold whoa

↓

So we would cinch it up nice and tight through the waist,

tight waist

↓

giving a nice, subtle lift to the top of the dress,

dress giving lift subtle

↓

and keeping those fat tummies in check. Gorgeous.

check gorgeous keeping

↓

- Okay, Dennis, I'm confused. - Why's that?

confused dennis whys

↓

These are just pictures of women with giant breasts.

breasts giant pictures women

↓

Yeah.

↓

And in some of these sketches, the women aren't even wearing clothes.

clothes sketches wearing wearing-clothes women

↓

- Yes. - Well, why?

↓

Listen, let me level with you. You're an attractive enough girl.

attractive girl level

↓

I mean, certainly you've got some potential.

certainly potential

↓

There's no reason for you to be so nervous around me.

nervous reason

↓

Why don't you just order a couple of my dresses,

couple dresses order

↓

and maybe if you're lucky, I'll even make one special just for you.

lucky special

↓

And if you look good enough in it, hell,

↓

I might even consider having sex with you. (laughs)

consider having laughs might

↓

- How does that sound? - Terrible.

sound

↓

(laughs) All right. Let's just calm down.

calm laughs

↓

You're having a reaction. That's understandable.

having reaction understandable

↓

It's the nerd in you talking. Why don't we start over?

nerd start

↓

How many of my dresses would you like to order?

dresses order

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None. Not one.

↓

Ok, look. I'm not gonna take "no" for an answer

answer

↓

because I just refuse to do that because I'm a winner.

refuse winner

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And winners, we don't listen to words like "no",

winners words

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or "don't", or "stop".

↓

Those words are just not in our vocabulary. I know what you need.

words

↓

You need to see my dress on a model.

dress model

↓

I'll tell you what.

↓

I'm gonna come back tomorrow with a model.

model tomorrow

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- Please don't do that. - Save your breath, Ingrid.

breath ingrid save

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Those words have never worked on me. I'll see you tomorrow.

tomorrow words worked

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(door closes)

closes door door-closes

↓

Look, I am so confused.

confused

↓

Why does she have light bulbs growing out of her neck?

bulbs growing light light-bulbs neck

↓

Light bulbs? What? Those are shoulder pads.

bulbs light light-bulbs pads shoulder

↓

- What? - Yeah.

↓

You know what? I'll walk you through it.

walk

↓

No. I don't even want...

↓

Why don't you just help me make Dennis's designs?

denniss

↓

Because Dennis's designs are terrible.

denniss

↓

- I enjoy them. - I know you do. I walked in

enjoy walked

↓

and saw you enjoying them very much this morning in the bar.

enjoying morning

↓

This again. I told you I was scratching myself, Dee!

scratching

↓

You were scratching hard and very vigorously. So...

hard scratching

↓

- 'Cause that's the only way I... - It must've really itched.

mustve

↓

All right. All right, fine. What is this thing?

↓

- That is Dennis's prototype. - No, I know it's the prototype.

denniss prototype

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But I don't get how it works. (groans)

groans works

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You're asking a million questions! All right, look.

asking million questions

↓

I'm just gonna have to walk you through it, all right?

walk

↓

- So pay attention. - Yes. Thank you.

attention

↓

The pretty lady gets naked, of course.

course lady naked

↓

And I help her into the prototype.

prototype

↓

My hands guiding along her body, making sure that it fits properly.

along body fits guiding hands properly

↓

Now the dress is starting to look fantastic, you know?

dress fantastic starting

↓

And she feels very excited. She feels very sensual.

excited feels sensual

↓

And I feel very sensual about her because she looks so good.

sensual

↓

And then, you know, we chitchat a little bit. No big deal.

deal

↓

But she asks me back to her place. Where did that come from?

asks place

↓

I accept, you know? And then, you know, we chitchat at her place.

accept place

↓

It's no big deal. But eventually she says, you know,

deal eventually

↓

"Do you want to make love, Charlie?" - Oh, God.

charlie love

↓

And I say, "Are you serious? Because yes, I do".

serious

↓

And then just, boom, we're into it. And it's hot and it's passionate.

boom passionate

↓

- Charlie? - Then it's just me and you, babe.

babe charlie

↓

all night long. - My God. Charlie?

charlie night

↓

And I satisfy her so many times, she starts screaming my name.

name satisfy screaming starts times

↓

- Charlie! - "Charlie," she says.

charlie charlie-charlie

↓

- "Charlie," she says. - Charlie!

charlie

↓

- Jesus! - Dee! (groans)

groans jesus

↓

What are you... I thought you had walked back over...

walked

↓

No, I've been standing here the whole time!

standing whole

↓

- I was in the middle... - Are you gonna help me with this

middle

↓

or not? - I'm trying to...

↓

- What are you doing? You look... - Oh, Jesus. I'm gonna do it myself.

jesus

↓

I gotta say, Frank, I'm really happy about this partition.

frank happy

↓

I can't tell you how many memories this brings back.

brings memories

↓

This is exactly the way I ran my sweatshops.

↓

- Is it? - You have to separate them from us.

separate

↓

- Right. Right. - They need to be trained.

trained

↓

- Okay, yeah. I got an idea. - Trained.

idea trained

↓

- I got an idea, okay? - I want to play music in there.

idea music

↓

'Cause I think it'll keep them happy and motivated.

happy itll motivated

↓

- And they'll work harder. - No, no, no.

harder

↓

Mac, you gotta break 'em. You gotta break 'em like dogs!

break dogs

↓

- Break 'em! Break 'em like dogs! - Yeah!

break dogs

↓

You want to learn about manipulation?

learn manipulation

↓

- Yes, yes. - This is it. All right, here.

↓

Your first rule of manipulation...

manipulation rule

↓

s you gotta show them who is boss!

boss

↓

You gotta rant and rave and yell at people!

rant rave yell

↓

(mouths words) Then they find their place. That's it.

mouths mouths-words place words

↓

Everyone gather around. I have an announcement to make!

announcement gather

↓

Dennis has an announcement! Go. Now's your chance.

announcement chance dennis nows

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- Now's my chance. - Rant and rave.

chance nows rant rave

↓

Gather around. Everybody, gather around, please!

everybody everybody-gather gather

↓

- We're all standing here. - Is this everybody?

everybody standing

↓

- Is this everybody? - You know that. What are you doing?

everybody

↓

- Dennis has an announcement! - Yeah, I heard that.

announcement dennis heard

↓

- I'm wondering what it is. - It's an announcement!

announcement wondering

↓

- What's up, Dennis? - I have an announcement.

announcement dennis

↓

- Oh, my God! What is it? - Quiet on the floor, please!

floor quiet

↓

Dennis, your announcement? Thank you.

announcement dennis

↓

I think everyone will be pleased to learn

learn pleased

↓

that we have just received our first order.

order received

↓

- That's amazing! - Ho-o-o!

amazing

↓

I can't believe they placed an order before they saw the prototype.

believe order placed prototype

↓

Believe it, 'cause that's what just happened.

believe happened

↓

What the hell did Fatty Magoo like about your sketches?

fatty fatty-magoo magoo sketches

↓

- Shut up! How many did they order? - Twenty-five.

five order twenty twenty-five

↓

- Twenty-five? - 25 dresses, that's right. Charlie,

charlie dresses five twenty twenty-five

↓

do you have my prototype? - Yeah, yeah.

prototype

↓

Hey, do you have any more of those sketches?

sketches

↓

Maybe like one where the lady's, like, looking right at you?

ladys looking

↓

Stop talking to me. All right, everyone.

↓

I want those dresses. Now I don't care how you do it.

care dresses

↓

Just make it work.

↓

You heard the man. Make it work!

heard

↓

You heard our designer! Ladies and gentlemen, back to your stations!

designer gentlemen heard ladies stations

↓

- Let's make it work! - No!

↓

No, I'm not going to make it work! I'm designing my own clothes!

clothes designing

↓

I'm supposed to be the one who's beating Fatty Magoo!

beating fatty fatty-magoo magoo supposed

↓

- Mac, take care of this. - Okay.

care

↓

Dee, can I talk to you for a second? I know what you're trying to do.

second

↓

You want to show this girl what's what. I get that.

girl

↓

And I think if you just buckle down and join the team...

buckle join team

↓

Mac, I'm gonna stop you right there. First of all,

↓

your breath smells like an old lady fart passing through an onion.

breath fart lady onion passing smells

↓

Secondly, I know you're trying to manipulate me.

manipulate secondly

↓

And it's not going to work. Get your hand off my shoulder,

hand shoulder

↓

because I've got a fatty to burn.

burn fatty

↓

She's gonna be here any minute. Can we get this thing tighter?

minute tighter

↓

Or can we lift these up a little bit? Oh, my God!

lift

↓

- You sure this is the right size? - The dress is the right size.

dress size

↓

I wish we could say the same thing about your body? My God.

body wish

↓

You eat he entire kitchen cupboard today?

entire kitchen today

↓

- What's wrong with my body? - So many things.

body

↓

I mean, your breasts, they're tiny. Your gut is huge.

breasts huge tiny

↓

- I wear a "D" cup! - You're just lying about that.

lying wear

↓

All right now, take this gut and suck it in.

suck

↓

- What gut? - Suck the gut in before I scream.

scream suck

↓

How did you get into my office?

office

↓

Ah. Well, how does anyone get in anywhere, Ingrid?

ingrid

↓

- Hard work and persistence. - Did you kick in my door?

door hard kick

↓

I intend to kick down a lot of doors today, Ingrid.

doors ingrid intend kick today

↓

Now, you're gonna have to use your imagination a little bit,

imagination

↓

my model is a little on the... (fart sound) side.

fart model side sound

↓

But tell me what you see.

↓

Well, I see a man committing a felony...

committing felony

↓

by breaking into my office and destroying my property.

breaking destroying office property

↓

I also see a very confused and uncomfortable model...

confused model uncomfortable

↓

who seems to be stuffed into an ill-fitting garbage bag.

fitting garbage seems stuffed

↓

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I see what you're saying, yes.

↓

You're saying that you love the dress but you hate this model.

dress hate love model

↓

She hates the dress, you freak!

dress freak hates

↓

Silence your mouth! She cannot properly see the dress

cannot dress mouth properly silence

↓

because your disgusting body is ruining it!

body disgusting ruining

↓

I can't believe I let you see me naked.

believe naked

↓

- Well, that was part of the... - All right. I'm calling the police.

calling part police

↓

No. No, no, Ingrid. There's no need to call the police, okay?

ingrid police

↓

Because the only crime that's being committed today

committed crime today

↓

s the crime of ugliness.

crime ugliness

↓

And sadly, you can't press charges for that.

charges press sadly

↓

You know what? I'm just gonna have to come back next time

↓

with a model with a perfect body.

body model perfect

↓

You've been a disappointment. Shame on you.

disappointment shame

↓

No, no, no. Shit.

↓

Look at this. Beyond our wildest dreams.

beyond dreams wildest

↓

Everything working out, huh, Mac?

working

↓

- This is brilliant, Frank. - It's going smooth.

brilliant frank smooth

↓

How you doing with Charlie? Did you break him like a dog yet?

break charlie

↓

Almost. I've changed his diet to only dry food.

changed diet food

↓

And he's no longer allowed on any of the furniture.

allowed furniture longer

↓

Good. What about Deandra?

deandra

↓

Hmm, not so good. She's still causing problems.

causing problems

↓

Hmm. You're gonna have to take care of this right away.

care

↓

(machine grinding) Oh, goddamn.

goddamn grinding machine

↓

- Dee! - Come on! Just go straight!

straight

↓

- Dee, come on! - I feel like it's broken.

broken

↓

It's not broken! You're just messing with it.

broken messing

↓

- I'm not messing with it. - You're punching in and you're...

messing punching

↓

Don't stomp on the pedal like that!

pedal stomp

↓

How do these people... Who are these women?

women

↓

They're Eastern European women! I have no idea

eastern eastern-european european idea women

↓

where Frank got them. They're very good sewers.

frank sewers

↓

- You should ask them how to sew. - They smell like sausage.

sausage smell

↓

They do smell like sausage. It's terrible.

sausage smell

↓

Charlie, shh! Dee, I need a word.

charlie word

↓

- Get outta here. - What are you working on?

outta working

↓

It's my dress. You know that.

dress

↓

Ooh, ooh. Did we not have a conversation about this, Deandra?

conversation deandra

↓

The dress does not fit the prototype.

dress prototype

↓

- I don't give a shit. - Come on, Dee.

↓

- Don't rock the boat here. - Charlie, I can handle this.

boat charlie handle rock

↓

I'm on your side here, man. I'm just trying to say she...

side

↓

- Charlie, sit. - Don't tell me to sit, dude.

charlie

↓

You want a treat? I think I got some jerky here...

jerky treat

↓

(gasps) I do have some jerky in my pocket. Do you want some?

gasps jerky pocket

↓

- Yeah. Yeah? - Yeah? You sure? You want some?

↓

- Yeah. - Wait for it. Sit.

↓

- Yeah. - Shake. Speak.

shake speak

↓

- I'd like some jerky, please. - Good boy!

jerky

↓

(laughs) He caught it. He catches it every time.

catches caught laughs

↓

- You want a piece of jerky? - No.

jerky piece

↓

You're supposed to be a goddamn modeling agency

agency goddamn modeling supposed

↓

and this is the best you've got? I mean, I ask you to send me models

best models send

↓

who are attractive. You send pictures of girls that have bodies

attractive bodies girls pictures send

↓

like Oompa-Loompas and hippopotamuses!

↓

I can't talk to you people. I can't... (grunting)

grunting

↓

How hard is it to find an attractive model in the city of Philadelphia?

attractive city hard model philadelphia

↓

Hey-oh! Guess what, buddy. We did it! We filled the order!

buddy filled order

↓

- What order? - The dresses, dude. 25.

dresses order

↓

Pretty efficient, huh?

efficient

↓

Yeah. Just, uh, put 'em by the door or something.

door

↓

Okay. Hey, you want me to help you bring 'em to the store?

bring store

↓

No! No, I don't want you to ever go to the store ever!

store

↓

- Why not? Something wrong? - No. Everything is... great.

↓

Everything is... perfect.

perfect

↓

Then why don't you want me to go to the store?

store

↓

- 'Cause you're busy. - I'm not busy.

busy

↓

I actually have a pretty clear docket for the next couple of...

clear couple docket

↓

No, you're so busy. Because we just got another order.

another busy order

↓

We did? For how many?

↓

Uh, a hundred.

hundred

↓

A hundred? We got an order for a hundred dresses?

dresses hundred order

↓

- Oh, my gosh! That's fantastic! - Mmm!

fantastic gosh

↓

We gotta kick it up a notch.

kick notch

↓

(man yelling in German)

german yelling

↓

Dee, come here! Where the hell have you been?

↓

It's only 9:00 in the morning.

morning

↓

Oh, my God. I've been here since 5:00.

↓

- What? - Things have changed around here.

changed

↓

They're running this place like a concentration camp.

camp place running

↓

We shouldn't even be talking right now!

↓

I think you better sit down and get to work. It's bad.

↓

The situation is bad! Oh, my God!

situation

↓

They're watching us, Dee. They're always watching us.

watching

↓

What do you think they're saying out there, Frank?

frank

↓

I don't know, but I don't like it.

↓

The German war propaganda was a nice idea.

german idea propaganda

↓

Wait till you hear the steam whistle.

steam till whistle

↓

(German man screaming continues) Charlie, where's my dress?

charlie continues dress german screaming

↓

(chuckles) Charlie, I left it right here! Where is it?

charlie chuckles chuckles-charlie left

↓

- Please don't do this. - Did you do something with it?

↓

- What did you do? Where is it? - Just go back to work.

↓

Tell me where it is, you son of a bitch!

bitch

↓

- I'm not supposed to say! - You want to lose your hand?

hand lose supposed

↓

- I'm not supposed to say! - Tell me where it is! Tell me!

supposed

↓

(whistle screeching)

screeching whistle

↓

Is that a steam whistle?

steam whistle

↓

What the hell's going on over there?

hells

↓

- Everything's fine. - What happened to my dress?

dress everythings happened

↓

Was destroyed and the materials were distributed amongst the workers.

amongst destroyed materials workers

↓

What? You guys! How could you do that to me?

↓

I worked forever on that dress!

dress forever worked

↓

The dress did not fit the prototype!

dress prototype

↓

- It didn't fit the prototype! - Screw the prototype!

prototype screw

↓

What are you talking about? Now I have to start all over!

start

↓

I'm afraid not, Deandra. We're gonna have to let her go.

afraid deandra

↓

You heard the man, Dee! Get off the floor!

floor heard

↓

- Oh, my God. You know what? - Off the floor now, Dee!

floor

↓

- Ladies! We're outta here! MAC: No.

ladies outta

↓

We don't need this! Let's go! We got a whole box of knockwurst up there.

whole

↓

- A big pot of it! - Deandra, what are you doing?

deandra

↓

- I'm staging a strike. Let's go! - I'm pulling it again!

pulling strike

↓

- No, no... Back to work! - I'm pulling it again!

pulling

↓

Back to work!

↓

(pop music) You can do it, Dennis, because you're a winner.

dennis music winner

↓

You haven't peaked. You haven't even begun to peak.

begun peak peaked

↓

But you're gonna peak today. You're gonna peak all over everybody.

everybody peak today

↓

Make it work, Dennis.

dennis

↓

MAN: #Together forever And never to par

forever

↓

#Together forever we two#

forever

↓

- Make it work. - #And don't you know I would move#

↓

- There she is! - Dee, what are you doing?

↓

I'm having you arrested for slave labor.

arrested having labor slave

↓

Slave labor? What the hell are you talking about?

labor slave

↓

You bought some dresses from my brother, Dennis,

bought brother dennis dresses

↓

that were made in a sweatshop in the basement of our bar.

basement sweatshop

↓

Do not listen to a word this woman says!

woman word

↓

- She is stark-raving mad! - She's a goddamn lunatic, okay?

goddamn lunatic raving stark

↓

Those dresses were made by voluntary laborers who work for us

dresses

↓

on their own free will to feed their starving families

families feed free starving

↓

n their home countries! - In a sweatshop!

countries home sweatshop

↓

- In a sweatshop! - Not a sweatshop.

sweatshop

↓

- It is a sweatshop. - No, a working factory!

factory sweatshop working

↓

Which makes you the biggest loser, Fatty Magoo.

biggest fatty fatty-magoo loser magoo makes

↓

I didn't buy anything from your insane brother.

brother insane

↓

- Really? - What?

↓

- Really. - So let me get this straight.

straight

↓

Dennis has been lying to us the whole time?

dennis lying whole

↓

I don't know and I don't care.

care

↓

Wait a second. Fatty Magoo. Are you Ingrid Nelson?

fatty fatty-magoo ingrid ingrid-nelson magoo nelson second

↓

- Yes. - No shit!

↓

I'm Mark Dunlap. I knew you in high school. Wow!

mark school

↓

- You look terrific. - Thanks.

terrific thanks

↓

And that would make you the Aluminum Monster.

aluminum aluminum-monster monster

↓

- Oh, man! You were all jacked up. - I don't remember.

jacked remember

↓

Remember that? With the back brace.

brace remember

↓

And all that metal. (squeaking) And you were like...

metal squeaking

↓

- You were like an Aluminum Monster. - Thank you.

aluminum aluminum-monster monster

↓

- That was the best name for it. - The only name for it.

best name

↓

- You were so cute. - Oh, thanks.

cute thanks

↓

It was a lot of metal, man. Hey, hey, I used to know your brother.

brother metal used

↓

Now, he was a pretty cool guy. Whatever happened to him?

cool happened

↓

Behold a winner in all his...

behold winner

↓

Oh, shit. (sighs)

sighs

↓

What are you guys doing here?

↓

MAN: #Together forever And never to part

forever part

↓

#Together forever We two

forever

↓

#And don't you know I would move heaven and earth

earth heaven

↓

#To be together forever With you

forever

↓

#Together forever And never to part

forever part

↓

#Together forever We two

forever

↓

#And don't you know I would move heaven and earth

earth heaven

↓

#To be together forever with...#

forever