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Home » It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia » S04E12 — The Gang Gets Extreme: Home Makeover Edition

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Season 4, Episode 12 — The Gang Gets Extreme: Home Makeover Edition

TMDB episode metadata

Show: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Episode title: The Gang Gets Extreme: Home Makeover Edition

Air date: November 13, 2008

Director: Fred Savage

Top billed cast: Charlie Day, Glenn Howerton, Rob Mac, Kaitlin Olson, Danny DeVito

Hoping to make their own dreams come true, the gang sets out to give an unexpected family an extreme home makeover.

Source: TMDB

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CHARLIE: Admit it, dude. You totally cried.

admit charlie cried

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MAC: Yeah. DENNIS: I didn't cry, Charlie.

charlie dennis

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CHARLIE: I saw tears coming out of your eyes, man.

charlie coming eyes tears

↓

"Extreme Home Makeover" will make the hardest man soft.

extreme extreme-home extreme-home-makeover hardest home home-makeover makeover soft

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- It makes everybody cry. - That is really ridiculous.

everybody makes ridiculous

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You're the biggest thief I've ever met in my life.

biggest life thief

↓

How am I a thief?

thief

↓

Dennis, do you know that she is inheriting my house?

dennis house

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Of course he knows it.

course knows

↓

He's the one who lost the house by letting you into it.

house letting lost

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And now since I'm his next of kin, the house belongs to me.

belongs house

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(groans) Frank, if you want to get your house back, check it out.

check frank groans house

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Make a vision board, put your house on it. Get the house back.

board house vision vision-board

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- What the hell's a vision board? - It's "The Secret"!

board hells secret vision vision-board

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"The Secret" is a self-help book that Dee read and explained to us.

book explained read secret self

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It's about how you can get whatever you want without having to work.

having

↓

All you have to do is envision all the shit that you want,

↓

cut pictures of it out and paste it on a board,

board paste pictures

↓

then you get it, you get the stuff.

stuff

↓

See how I got all these sweet pics of Ty Pennington

pics sweet

↓

from "Extreme Home Makeover"?

extreme extreme-home extreme-home-makeover home home-makeover makeover

↓

I'm gonna become him. I'm gonna have that dude's life.

become dudes life

↓

Now that's Charlie's vision, but it's not mine.

charlies vision

↓

You see, my vision is to have a gorgeous yellow Lamborghini,

gorgeous vision yellow

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that I'm very much looking forward to driving.

driving forward looking looking-forward

↓

I'm gonna impregnate Danica Patrick

patrick

↓

while getting drunk in the Sahara desert on a dune buggy.

desert drunk dune sahara

↓

(Frank cackling)

cackling frank

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I hate to tell you this, but this self-help stuff, it's all bullshit.

bullshit hate self stuff

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- It's a big scam. DEE: Oh, is it, Frank?

frank scam

↓

That's funny 'cause that's how I got the house.

funny house

↓

See, I envisioned the courts recognizing how ridiculous it was

courts ridiculous

↓

that my son of a bitch asshole mother didn't leave me anything.

asshole bitch mother

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And then I did some good deeds, and boom, I'm rich.

boom deeds rich

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- Mansion rich. MAC: Whoa, wait a second.

mansion rich second whoa

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You didn't say anything about good deeds. Is that part of this?

deeds part

↓

Yeah, you have to do that. You get back what you put in.

↓

Right! That makes sense.

makes makes-sense sense

↓

That's probably why Ty Pennington has such a sweet life.

life sweet

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Yeah, man. And he's got great hair too.

hair

↓

Of course he's got great hair!

course hair

↓

You know, this has got me thinking, guys.

thinking

↓

It could be really beneficial for us

beneficial

↓

to go out and actually do some good deeds.

deeds

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Wait a second, maybe helping other people

helping second

↓

s the best way to help ourselves.

best

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Right, right. So, like, what is the best way you can help other people?

best

↓

The best way in the world to help other people?

best world

↓

- What would Ty Pennington do? - What would Ty Pennington do?

↓

(music)

music

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(chattering)

chattering

↓

What the hell are you doing with my bowling ball?

ball bowling bowling-ball

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It's no longer a bowling ball. It's now a wrecking ball.

ball bowling bowling-ball longer wrecking wrecking-ball

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We're gonna use it to tear down a house and then we're gonna...

house tear

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#Build up a dream!# - Yeah, baby.

baby build dream

↓

Then we get our Lamborghinis, and our Danica Patricks, and our...

lamborghinis patricks

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I wanna jump in on this if that's okay 'cause I ran the numbers

jump numbers

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and I'm gonna need a load of money to pay property taxes on my mansion.

load mansion money property taxes

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- On my mansion. - Jesus, Frank. Really? Still?

frank jesus jesus-frank mansion

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Why do you care? You don't wanna live there.

care live

↓

That's not the point, Deandra!

deandra point

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The point is, it is my house and I should own it.

house point

↓

Help us out, and the universe will probably give it back to you.

universe

↓

I don't think so. I'm operating at a much higher vibration,

higher operating

↓

which I think is gonna counteract his attempts at positive energy.

attempts energy positive

↓

I'll keep the house.

house

↓

You think that your energy's more positive than mine?

positive

↓

Yeah.

↓

I want in on this so I can screw over Deandra.

deandra screw

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You know what, man? Perfect.

perfect

↓

We were planning on using your construction experience

construction experience planning using

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and your connections anyway.

connections

↓

- I'll be the foreman. - Great. Excellent.

excellent foreman

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Why don't you hop on the renovations with Charlie and I?

charlie renovations

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Mac, why don't you get started on the family makeover with Dee?

family makeover started

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Family makeover with Dee? I wanna be a part of the renovation team.

family makeover part team

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I know you do, but the thing is, you...

↓

You get so excited about the smashing.

excited smashing

↓

- Then you make it competitive. - You turn it into a competition.

competition competitive

↓

That's bullshit! I'm a better smasher than you guys!

bullshit

↓

I should be on the head of the smashing team!

head smashing team

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- You want to have a smash-off? - A smash-off?

smash

↓

- You can't even help yourself. - Okay, fine.

↓

Dee and I are gonna kick your ass.

kick

↓

Because our makeover is gonna be so much more extreme than yours.

extreme makeover

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Oh, well, hold on a second.

second

↓

Charlie, our renovations are gonna be pretty extreme.

charlie extreme renovations

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Yeah, but not as extreme as what we're gonna do.

extreme

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Let's agree we're gonna go in the most extreme way possible.

agree extreme possible

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First, let's find a family to unleash our extremeness all over.

family unleash

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Yeah, a desperate family that's gonna yield us the highest return.

desperate family highest return yield

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How 'bout the Mexican family that moved in down the block?

block bout family mexican moved

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CHARLIE: Right! What is their name? The Juarez family, I think.

charlie family juarez juarez-family name

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That's perfect. We can help the Juarez family!

family juarez juarez-family perfect

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They're good. Their place is a real shit hole.

hole place real

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Great. Then the Juarez family it is. It's settled.

family juarez juarez-family settled

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Okay. And I think I know the most extreme way to go about this.

extreme

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CHARLIE: Okay. Dee, you got the blindfolds?

blindfolds charlie

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Do you guys think the blindfolds are necessary?

blindfolds necessary

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DENNIS: The blindfolds are necessary.

blindfolds dennis necessary

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They're there to heighten the sense of surprise and excitement,

excitement sense surprise

↓

creating an enjoyable experience for the family. Extreme!

creating experience extreme family

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Here's the thing. I couldn't find any blindfolds per se,

blindfolds

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but I did bring some plastic bags.

bags bring plastic

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- Jam them over their faces. - Why didn't you say so?

faces

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It's time! Here we go! Here we go!

↓

Go, go, go, go, go!

↓

Good morning, Juarez family!

family juarez juarez-family morning

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Wake up, my brown friend! It's time to change your life! (screams)

brown change friend life screams wake

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(music) I said inspirational music! What is that?

inspirational inspirational-music music

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- Yeah, man. Inspirational. - All right. That's cool, I guess.

cool inspirational

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Come here, you little rug rat!

↓

Where are you going? What's wrong, buddy? Come on.

buddy

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We're trying to help you. Hey, where's your wife?

wife

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You want me to fix your house, don't you? Where's your daughter?

daughter house

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Where's your daughter? (screaming)

daughter screaming

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Congratulations! Have we got a surprise for you!

congratulations surprise

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Okay! Hold still! You can't run from the kindness of strangers!

kindness strangers

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We are taking over your house! Your house is ours now!

house

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Your lives are gonna change forever!

change forever lives

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It feels good to help people, doesn't it?

feels

↓

And good-bye, Juarez family!

family juarez juarez-family

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- Yeah. All right! Good job. - We did it, man.

↓

- Frank, foreman. What's the plan? - Mr. Foreman.

foreman frank plan

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- The plan? - Yeah!

plan

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You guys get to work. I'm gonna go hop in one of their beds

beds

↓

and get some shut-eye. I'm running on fumes.

fumes running

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Wait, man. There's no time for that.

↓

We're on a deadline here. When's your crew arriving?

arriving crew deadline whens

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My crew? What crew?

crew

↓

The construction crew. When do those guys get here?

construction construction-crew crew

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You're the crew! That's the way I do it.

crew

↓

I hire two guys and let them sweat it out.

hire sweat

↓

All right. Now keep it down because I'm a very light sleeper.

light sleeper

↓

(music)

music

↓

Welcome to makeover headquarters, Juarez family!

family headquarters juarez juarez-family makeover welcome

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This is gonna be your home for the next couple of days!

couple days home

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In order to assimilate you with American culture,

american culture order

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we've decided to surround you with all things American.

american decided surround

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(Mac laughing) Who's ready for a makeover?

laughing makeover ready

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(laughs) MAC: This one is.

laughs

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- Not that excited. - They're not very excited at all.

excited

↓

I... Okay. I think there might be a bit of a language barrier.

language might

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- Well, that could be an issue. - Well, no. Hold up.

issue

↓

Somebody took a couple of years of Spanish in high school.

couple school somebody spanish years

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Okay. You remember it?

remember

↓

I'm gonna dust off the cobwebs and see if I can fire off some phrases.

dust fire phrases

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Tell them to relax, first off, 'cause they look a little tense.

relax tense

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And then, we're gonna build them a new house.

build house

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And a new life, just like on "Extreme Makeover" on TV.

extreme life makeover

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Okay. Okay. Juarezes... (speaking Spanish)

spanish speaking speaking-spanish

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Si?

↓

- Si? - Si.

↓

DEE: Yeah, America!

america

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DENNIS: All right. CHARLIE: I tell you what, man.

charlie dennis

↓

The more I look at this place, the nicer I think it is.

nicer place

↓

No, it's a very charming place.

charming place

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- What are you doing, dude? - What do you mean?

↓

Why are you smashing stuff?

smashing stuff

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It's important that we get rid of anything

↓

that will remind the Juarez family of their old country.

country family juarez juarez-family remind

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They're Americans now and Americans don't hold onto the past.

americans past

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The past isn't useful. You gotta forget about it.

forget past useful

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- The past isn't... - We gotta gut this entire place.

entire past place

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Here's what I'm thinking, after we smash all their old shit,

smash thinking

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I'm thinking we take out this wall.

thinking wall

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Just let the room breathe a little bit.

breathe room

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You think that's better than just ripping the whole house down?

house ripping whole whole-house

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- Yeah. - Tearing the whole thing down?

tearing whole

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Were you planning on destroying the entire house?

destroying entire entire-house house planning

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- Yeah. - You can't demolish the house.

house

↓

That's what they do on "Extreme Makeover".

extreme makeover

↓

Do you know how to build an entire house?

build entire entire-house house

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- No. I don't know how to... - I know!

↓

I hadn't thought that far... We'd have to build a whole house.

build house whole whole-house

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- We'd have to... - I can't build a whole house.

build house whole whole-house

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- Let's just smash the wall. - We'll start with the wall.

smash start wall

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Then we'll throw a couple of layers of paint up,

couple layers paint throw

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and then we'll get our Lamborghinis and whatever shit you have on yours.

lamborghinis

↓

Let me see if the lamp takes a little dent out of it.

lamp takes

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And here comes the pitch!

comes pitch

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(cheering) It didn't really dent the wall though.

cheering wall

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But it did break the lamp, and that's part of it.

break lamp part

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- That was fun. - So I'm gonna break this.

break fun

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What's all the racket down here?

racket

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Some of us are trying to do some work here, Frank.

frank

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I don't know if you noticed.

noticed

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Has anybody scored on their vision board yet?

anybody board scored vision vision-board

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How on earth can we score from our vision board?

board earth score vision vision-board

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We just started.

started

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We've been doing this for, like, 30 minutes.

minutes

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Thirty minutes? I feel like I've been sleeping for a day.

minutes sleeping thirty

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That broke bastard's bed is soft as shit.

bastards broke soft

↓

You think they got any beer in the icebox?

beer

↓

- I could drink a swimming pool. - You know what?

drink pool swimming swimming-pool

↓

You are a terrible foreman. Back me up on this, Charlie.

charlie foreman

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- You're out of here. - I think so. You're done.

↓

You can't kick the foreman out. I'm the foreman.

foreman kick

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I tell you what to do. That's the way it works.

works

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Oh, really? You're gonna tell me how it works?

works

↓

I watch "Extreme Home Makeover". I know how it works!

extreme extreme-home extreme-home-makeover home home-makeover makeover watch works

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- Charlie! CHARLIE: What?

charlie charlie-charlie

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That show is just a bunch of manipulation to get people to cry.

bunch manipulation

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And then they trick the viewers into buying shit!

buying trick viewers

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Buying shit? What are you talking about?

buying

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That show is about how awesome Sears is!

awesome sears

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And how Sears products save people's lives!

lives peoples peoples-lives products save sears

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- It's about caring and Sears! - Hey, hey. Shh.

caring sears

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You don't see Ty Pennington lose his cool, do you?

cool lose

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- You want to be like him? - Yeah.

↓

All right. Then just breathe for me. Feel what I'm doing.

breathe

↓

Yeah, dude. I just... I'm sorry, bro.

↓

- I get very passionate about Sears. - No, I...

passionate sears

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I mean, "Extreme Home Make..." I mean, wha...

extreme extreme-home home

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- Helping people. - Helping people.

helping

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- Shh, shh, shh. - Don't stop. Give me a hug.

↓

(speaking Spanish)

spanish speaking speaking-spanish

↓

(speaking Spanish)

spanish speaking speaking-spanish

↓

Baseball.

baseball

↓

Frank, what the hell are you doing here?

frank

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Those dickwads threw me off my own work site!

site threw

↓

So how's the old vision board coming?

board coming vision vision-board

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You getting everything you want?

↓

No. We just started the whole makeover process.

makeover process started whole

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We realized the reason why the Juarez family

family juarez juarez-family realized reason

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hasn't achieved the American dream yet

achieved american dream

↓

s because they haven't envisioned it strong enough.

strong

↓

So we're having them do their own vision boards.

boards having vision

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Why don't you be a lamb and pass out some materials.

lamb materials pass

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Be helpful! Do something positive with your life.

helpful life positive

↓

- Piece of shit. - Magazines, magazines.

magazines piece

↓

Here! Magazines.

magazines

↓

Cut 'em out with this? What are you looking at?

looking

↓

MAC: Frank, she doesn't understand what you're saying.

frank

↓

(screaming)

screaming

↓

Oh, no! (screaming)

screaming

↓

I am gonna blast your face off! (screaming)

blast face screaming

↓

- I am gonna blast your face off. - Shh! Shh!

blast face

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- No one's gonna blast anything. - No one's gonna blast your face.

blast face ones

↓

What did you say to her?

↓

I said what you said to say to her

↓

and she stabbed me in the leg with the goddamn scissors!

goddamn scissors stabbed

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MAC: Deal with it. DEE: All right.

deal

↓

(speaking Spanish)

spanish speaking speaking-spanish

↓

(speaking Spanish)

spanish speaking speaking-spanish

↓

- Yeah. - Okay. Careful. Watch it.

careful watch

↓

(speaking Spanish)

spanish speaking speaking-spanish

↓

Oh, God. I'm really good at this.

↓

Dennis! Yo. Last-minute thing.

dennis minute

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Gotta have this. Brilliant idea. We need a project for 'em, dude.

brilliant brilliant-idea idea project

↓

So, we got ourselves a little Mexican girl here.

girl mexican

↓

I'm thinking, what does a little Mexican girl love

girl love mexican thinking

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more than anything in the world?

world

↓

- Tacos. - Tacos, buddy!

buddy tacos

↓

So, why not make for her a taco bed?

taco

↓

- You know what I mean? - Okay!

↓

She gets to, like, be in a taco every day. So, okay.

taco

↓

I got yellow sheets. That's cheese. Green, guacamole.

cheese green sheets yellow

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Red little pillow for salsa.

pillow salsa

↓

I got cute little brown PJs so that she gets to feel

brown cute

↓

like ground meat while she's sleeping.

ground meat sleeping

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- Ground meat in the middle. - She's the ground meat!

ground meat middle

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DENNIS: I like that. That's a good idea.

dennis idea

↓

Hey, what is this blowtorch for, man?

↓

That's a propane torch. That thing's badass. It's like a flamethrower.

badass propane torch

↓

Okay. But what function is it gonna serve?

function serve

↓

It's for the renovation, man. It's for the controlled burns.

burns controlled

↓

I don't think they do controlled burns.

burns controlled

↓

They definitely do controlled burns on the...

burns controlled

↓

- They do it off screen. - Off screen!

screen

↓

How do you think they tear down an entire wall so quickly?

entire quickly tear wall

↓

The community's got a lot to do with it.

↓

And then maybe it's for burning the actual rubble.

actual burning rubble

↓

Are you sure we need it? I'm not sure we...

↓

- I'm buying it, so ring that up. - What are we looking at here?

buying looking ring

↓

That'll be $3,212.11.

thatll

↓

We're gonna put all this on the "Extreme Home Makeover" account.

account extreme extreme-home extreme-home-makeover home home-makeover makeover

↓

CHARLIE: Ring it up.

charlie ring

↓

I have no ideia what you're talking about.

↓

Really? We're performing an extreme home makeover.

extreme extreme-home extreme-home-makeover home home-makeover makeover performing

↓

So do you not have a button for that?

button

↓

We're helping out a family in need. We're gonna do some good deeds.

deeds family helping

↓

We got a vision board thing going. This is a legitimate operation here.

board legitimate operation vision vision-board

↓

This is the real deal. I got a whole taco bed... You know what?

deal real real-deal taco whole

↓

If you just give us the stuff, we'll be on our way.

stuff

↓

I'm sorry. We don't just give stuff away.

stuff

↓

Okay. I don't know why you're breaking my balls here.

balls breaking

↓

Sears does this. Sears gives people stuff.

gives sears stuff

↓

Sears doesn't get anything out of it! Sears doesn't come in and...

sears

↓

We don't have any money. What are we supposed to do?

money supposed

↓

I don't know what to tell you.

↓

If you don't have bad credit history,

credit history

↓

you can open a store credit card.

card credit credit-card open store

↓

- Well, yeah. - Credit card?

card credit credit-card

↓

All right. Just sign right there and we're all set.

sign

↓

This is smart. The first step to becoming an American, credit card.

american becoming card credit credit-card smart step

↓

We need this guy to build up copious amounts of debt.

amounts build copious debt

↓

That's the best way to build up his credit. We're doing him a favor.

best build credit favor

↓

A huge favor! Do you realize how extreme this is?

extreme favor huge realize

↓

To go from no debt to good, old-fashioned American debt?

american debt fashioned

↓

Plus, I've been envisioning someone else paying

paying plus

↓

for this thing the entire time.

entire

↓

I'm also envisioning him unloading all the shit into the car.

unloading

↓

- That's a great vision. - No, we're on a tight schedule.

schedule tight vision

↓

But we got him here.

↓

Does anyone know why Frank has been pointing a camera at us?

camera frank pointing

↓

I'll tell you why. Because I'm tired of this "Secret" bullshit.

bullshit secret tired

↓

All it got me was a stab wound in the leg.

stab wound

↓

- So I'm gonna record everything. - Why?

record

↓

Because I know you're gonna fail. I can watch it over and over again.

fail watch

↓

- That's ridiculous. - Whatever, Frank.

frank ridiculous

↓

I'm glad you're getting all this on tape.

glad tape

↓

Then we'll have proof of how amazingly generous we're being.

amazingly generous proof

↓

You're gonna prove "The Secret" is real.

prove real secret

↓

We are all done here, so I'm gonna roll.

roll

↓

- Thank you very much. - Let's do this.

↓

Got the store card now. Let's go ahead and ring that up.

ahead card go-ahead ring store

↓

CHARLIE: Bro, I'm not sure I have the right look here.

charlie

↓

You do, man, you just gotta start thinking

start start-thinking thinking

↓

of the tool belt as an extension of yourself.

belt extension tool

↓

It needs to reflect you as an individual. Do you feel that?

individual needs reflect

↓

- Is that all that it is? - That's all it is.

↓

How come you got awesome fray on your shorts? I don't have that.

awesome fray shorts

↓

Well, ha, ha! That, sir, is because you purchased blue jean shorts,

blue jean jean-shorts purchased shorts

↓

whereas I purchased blue jeans and cut 'em, thus the fray.

blue fray jeans purchased whereas

↓

It's a more authentic look. I think that's what you're feeling.

authentic feeling

↓

And why did cut them so high? Way higher than mine.

higher

↓

I thought you might ask. It limits restriction of leg movement.

limits might movement restriction

↓

You're gonna get more work done 'cause you got more legroom.

↓

- You sure? - Let me do a demonstration.

demonstration

↓

Take the tool belt off. Let me demonstrate something.

belt demonstrate tool

↓

- Let's get a demo. - Take a wide stance.

demo stance wide

↓

Take the widest stance that you possibly can.

possibly stance

↓

- Leg movement. This is... - Go as wide as you can.

movement wide

↓

If I'm going wide and I'm being honest with you,

honest wide

↓

- I'm maxing out about here. - That's not bad.

↓

- But check this out. - Go. Go, go.

check

↓

- Whoa! Any more? - That's it.

whoa

↓

- But that's pretty wide, right? - That is good.

wide

↓

And you're not getting any high ride.

ride

↓

I'm getting a high ride, but the shorts aren't preventing me

ride shorts

↓

from doing what I need to do.

↓

- And that's the shorts. - That's exactly right.

shorts

↓

Your shorts are holding you back. That and your hips.

hips holding shorts

↓

But I gotta tell ya, the shorts aren't helping.

helping shorts

↓

Oh, this... This is really all good shit. This is like gold.

gold

↓

- What are you gonna do next? - You are catching all this?

catching

↓

FRANK: I got everything.

frank

↓

Charlie, grab me that propane torch. I'm gonna burn the wall.

burn charlie grab propane torch wall

↓

Let's go at it with the wrecking ball for a little while.

ball wrecking wrecking-ball

↓

It'll be more extreme and kind of awesome.

awesome extreme itll

↓

Let's do that then. You do the wrecking ball thing.

ball wrecking wrecking-ball

↓

I'm gonna do a little introduction, then you do the wrecking ball.

ball introduction wrecking wrecking-ball

↓

Do you want to wear the belt?

belt wear

↓

- I'm gonna be the only one? - Just jeans and no shirt.

jeans shirt

↓

- Can I see the stance again? - Yeah.

stance

↓

- That... I can go lower. - Bro, that is badass.

badass lower

↓

CHARLIE: Is yours wedged in too? - Mine is completely wedged in.

charlie completely

↓

We can't even get anything past the surface of this thing.

past surface

↓

There's like a hard surface past the thin surface.

hard past surface thin

↓

Concrete or brick or something behind...

behind brick concrete

↓

I was envisioning this being a lot easier than it's turning out to be.

easier turning

↓

- Use the blowtorch. - Great. It's time.

↓

- No. Hang on a second. - Let me grab the flame.

flame grab hang second

↓

- He's right. - I think I know what's the problem.

problem

↓

I'm the one who watches "Home Makeover".

home home-makeover makeover watches

↓

I think I know what we're not doing right here.

↓

- We didn't bring the neighborhood. - Great idea.

bring idea neighborhood

↓

- Bring the neighbors in. - My neighbors are great.

bring neighbors

↓

(whistles) Yo. Hey, come here.

whistles

↓

(music)

music

↓

So did the neighborhood rob us?

neighborhood

↓

Did the neighborhood rob... Yeah. And they took my goddamn tool belt!

belt goddamn neighborhood tool

↓

- I could not have anticipated... - Wanna talk to the camera and cry?

anticipated camera

↓

You invaded our face with that camera, man!

camera face

↓

You know what? Just... (sighs) Get me the flamethrower.

sighs

↓

I'm so sick of this wall. I want to burn it up now!

burn sick wall

↓

Okay, it's time.

↓

Okay, there's also a fire extinguisher too.

extinguisher fire fire-extinguisher

↓

- I think we should use this. - I think we should too.

↓

Here's how this is gonna go down. I will light a fire on the wall.

fire light wall

↓

Charlie, have that extinguisher ready.

charlie extinguisher ready

↓

I don't want the fire to spread past the parameters of this wall.

fire past spread wall

↓

I will create a parameter with the fire extinguisher.

create extinguisher fire fire-extinguisher

↓

- The only safe way to do this. - Perfectly safe.

perfectly perfectly-safe safe

↓

Once the wall's all weakened from the burned-up fires,

burned fires walls

↓

we're gonna kick it to pieces, smash it,

kick pieces smash

↓

take the rubble outside and burn that too.

burn rubble

↓

And then I'll put it out with this. Perfect.

perfect

↓

- Then I'll start my taco bed. - Sounds good.

sounds start taco

↓

Hey, before you do that, why don't you open that window

open window

↓

over there and get a nice back draft?

draft

↓

Now he wants to help.

wants

↓

That's the first sensible thing you've said all day.

sensible

↓

It's extreme, just like we are. Charlie, go crank open a window.

charlie crank extreme open window

↓

Let's get a back draft going. Frank, you ready?

draft frank ready

↓

I've never been ready for anything more in my entire life!

entire entire-life life ready

↓

Well, all right. Let's do this.

↓

Mac, I think we've successfully pulled off one extreme makeover.

extreme makeover pulled successfully

↓

MAC: Yeah. I love their eyes.

eyes love

↓

Now while we wait, I was thinking we expose them

expose thinking

↓

to some good, old-fashioned American cinema.

american fashioned

↓

- Oh. - "Apocalypto".

↓

They can learn about how their ancestors used to be savages,

ancestors learn savages used

↓

until Mel Gibson and the Catholics came in and saved everybody.

everybody saved

↓

- Hey, Frank. - You're just in time.

frank

↓

Point that video camera at the new and improved Juarez family.

camera family improved juarez juarez-family point video video-camera

↓

Whoa. They look freaky as shit.

freaky whoa

↓

MAC: Wait till you get a load of their ancestors.

ancestors load till

↓

Pop a squat 'cause we're gonna watch a sweet-ass flick.

flick squat sweet watch

↓

No, I got something better to do. Bag 'em and bring 'em with us.

bring

↓

Come on. Yes, let's go.

↓

In fact, bag yourselves too 'cause I want this to be a surprise.

fact surprise yourselves

↓

- Okay. - All right.

↓

- This way. Keep walking straight. DEE: Frank. God damn it.

frank straight walking

↓

- It's hard to breathe in the bags. - Straight.

bags breathe hard straight

↓

Okay. Hold it right here. All right, now... Excuse me.

excuse

↓

Please, come over here, the family. I want you on this side.

family side

↓

MAC: My head is sweating like shit, Frank!

frank head sweating

↓

All right. Take the bags off.

bags

↓

You got... You got a bus, just like in the show!

↓

It's all about the reveal. Ready?

ready reveal

↓

- Okay, yeah. - One, two, three!

three

↓

ALL: Move that bus!

↓

(Frank laughing)

frank laughing

↓

Unbelievable.

unbelievable

↓

Can't believe the judge made me give my mansion to the Juarez family.

believe family juarez juarez-family judge mansion

↓

I can't believe their name isn't Juarez.

believe juarez name

↓

- Anyone else surprised by that? - It was a shocker.

shocker surprised

↓

Yeah. You know, it's a broken system we got here.

broken broken-system system

↓

At least we managed to avoid arson charges.

arson avoid charges least managed

↓

That's good. Yeah. Frank, I guess you're right. The Secret's bullshit.

bullshit frank secrets

↓

You try to help people and you just wind up getting screwed.

screwed wind

↓

(music)

music