It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Season 5, Episode 4 — The Gang Gives Frank an Intervention

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Hey, come on, man. Be careful, man. You're spilling on the floor.
#1
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I don't understand why you don't just use a cup.
#2
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I'm trying to be inconspicuous. Inconspicu...
#3
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Your entire mouth is stained red, Frank. It is?
#4
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Yeah. Aren't we gonna be at the barbecue soon?
#5
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Yeah. I'm pregaming, man. What's going on with you? You're going off the deep end lately.
#6
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I feel like he's been wading around in the deep end for a while.
#7
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No, bro, it's different. He's staying out all hours of the night.
#8
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I never see him. If he is around, he's usually not even wearing clothes.
#9
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I'm wearing clothes now, bitch.
#10
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You're wearing a shirt that's on inside out and it's covered in grease.
#11
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Yeah, you're really greasy. It's not grease. It's sap.
#12
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- Sap? How did you get covered in sap? - I got really wasted.
#13
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- I must've climbed a tree. - You're really stepping up the insanity, huh?
#14
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I'm trying to push myself. I want to see how far I could go.
#15
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I feel like you've been standing on the edge of a cliff for a while now.
#16
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I say hop off. Let's see where you land.
#17
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I really wish you wouldn't encourage him, man. I really wish you wouldn't.
#18
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If somebody wants to push his boundaries, you gotta let him. Frank, jump.
#19
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I never felt more alive in my life.
#20
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Oh, I'm sure. I'm sure. There's the street, right there.
#21
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What the hell?
#22
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I thought we were going to a barbecue, Frank.
#23
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It's more of a party in the park. We're at a cemetery.
#24
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The party is in the cemetery.
#25
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- Who has a party in a cemetery? - Your Uncle Max.
#26
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He just croaked.
#27
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Flush that turd down the drain!
#28
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Does anybody else feel really uncomfortable?
#29
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Yes. We're completely underdressed. It's embarrassing.
#30
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What are we doing here, Frank? What's your angle? I wanna bang your Aunt Donna.
#31
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Why would you wanna bang our mom's sister...
#32
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at the funeral of her husband?
#33
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Hmm. Well, I don't know how many years on this earth I got left.
#34
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I'm gonna get real weird with it.
#35
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Meanwhile, block the wind. I'm gonna roast this bone.
#36
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Okay. Jesus Christ.
#37
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Come on. Get in there. What are you doing?
#38
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That is enough. I've had enough. He's definitely reached his limit.
#39
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I've reached my limit, that's for sure.
#40
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Dude, this is what I was talking about in the car.
#41
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The guy is going off the deep end, all right?
#42
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Now it's starting to affect our lives. Yeah.
#43
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And I think maybe we should have an intervention or something.
#44
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An intervention might be a good idea.
#45
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If he starts banging Aunt Donna, we're gonna have the garbage pail cousin in the mix.
#46
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No! No!
#47
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Whoa. Who is the garbage pail cousin?
#48
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Gail the Snail is the garbage pail cousin.
#49
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Oh, Charlie, she is the worst.
#50
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We'd have these family parties and she'd just glob onto me and Dennis.
#51
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We couldn't get rid of her. The only way was to torture her.
#52
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And that's what we did. Yeah. We'd throw her in the dryer.
#53
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We'd throw salt on her. Yeah, we'd throw salt on her 'cause she was the snail.
#54
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Mm-hmm. Get it? Get it? You throw salt on a snail, and...
#55
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It shrivels her up. It's supposed to shrivel up.
#56
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Well, that sounds a little messed up though, huh?
#57
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You don't think we're proud of that, do you? No.
#58
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But you don't understand. That's the only way you can handle her.
#59
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She made us do those things. And quite frankly, I resent her for it.
#60
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What kind of a person salts another human being? It's terrible.
#61
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There's no joy in salting someone. Everyone loses. Yeah.
#62
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It sounds like a- What's up, suckers?
#63
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Hey, Gail. Hey, Gail.
#64
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You look different. I'm more confident. I've grown into my body.
#65
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You're sure showing a lot of skin, huh?
#66
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Jealous? I'm a woman now. I'm not a virgin anymore.
#67
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Cool. Thank you. Okay.
#68
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Hey, guys, you wanna come to my car and take a puff?
#69
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I got some medical marijuana.
#70
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- We're at your dad's funeral, Gail. - What evs. I'm over it.
#71
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Plus, if we all showed up super high at the reception,
#72
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everyone would be like, "What?"
#73
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Uh- Uh- Okay. Come on.
#74
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Whatever, Gail. Yes, we'll do that.
#75
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Wait in the car and we'll join you. We'll come get you.
#76
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- You guys gonna come? - We'll come in a second.
#77
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- Like five minutes? - Five minutes. - Anything. Yes.
#78
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Anything. Whatever you say.
#79
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See, this is what happens when you don't have salt.
#80
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My God. There's not enough salt in the world for her.
#81
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The garbage pail cousin.
#82
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Donna, Donna, Donna, Donna, Donna, Donna. Hello, Frank.
#83
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You surprised to see me? No.
#84
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Ooh. You left several voice mails...
#85
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congratulating me on my husband's death. Well, I was pretty baked.
#86
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What do you want? I have a proposition for you.
#87
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I think you and me ought to bang.
#88
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What? Okay. Hear me out.
#89
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Max never liked me. I hated him.
#90
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Barbara didn't like you. You despised her.
#91
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Now, what better way to get back at them in the grave,
#92
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really stick it to 'em, if you and me plowed?
#93
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I mean, really- Hmm?
#94
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You get back to me.
#95
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Hey. I'm Mac.
#96
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Barbara's ex-lover.
#97
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She may have mentioned...
#98
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You were gonna say something? No.
#99
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You said- No? No. I was just breathing.
#100
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I'll start by commending you guys...
#101
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for taking the initiative to help Frank.
#102
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Ah, we're caring people. That's our nature.
#103
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Um, what's Frank struggling with the most right now?
#104
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Ooh. Ah, he is trying to bang our aunt. That's the big one.
#105
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Uh, these things deal more with drug and alcohol abuse. Mm-hmm.
#106
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Drugs and alcohol are rolled into what we're talking about here...
#107
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Oh, yeah. With the aunt thing.
#108
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So he does have a drinking problem.
#109
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Oh, big time. Big time. Oh, lady.
#110
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But if I'm being honest, my problem's less with the fact...
#111
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that he's drinking and more that he's doing it without me.
#112
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And then I start thinking, "What's wrong with me? Am I not fun to drink with?"
#113
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Oh, no. Don't do that to yourself. You're plenty of fun to drink with.
#114
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Trust me, Charlie. You get really, really drunk. Oh, yeah.
#115
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And then you get reckless, and it's a lot of fun.
#116
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So how do we go about doing this?
#117
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Do we ambush him and then sort of like berate him...
#118
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into becoming the guy we wanna be around?
#119
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You certainly don't berate him.
#120
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He needs to know you're coming from a place of love and concern.
#121
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Mm-mmm. Too soft.
#122
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I think we should come at him with an iron fist and crush him into submission.
#123
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Right, right. If we're taking that approach,
#124
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you might wanna be armed at this intervention. Mm-hmm.
#125
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Why- Why would I need to be armed?
#126
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Well, Frank's usually carrying a little gun with him.
#127
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- And he doesn't really hesitate to use it. - And you know what?
#128
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Have the gun out and ready to rock when he comes in.
#129
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- We'll all have guns. - It's just safer. She could put it in her pants.
#130
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If we maybe ambush Frank with a net...
#131
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or some kind of rope device,
#132
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the gun will maybe drop out of his waist belt. You wanna bring him in in a net?
#133
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- That could get awkward. - Just bring the gun.
#134
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Bring a gun. I don't wanna get shot, so just bring a gun, will you?
#135
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You know, I do offer group therapy.
#136
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Yeah. What are you doing?
#137
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What is this you're doing? What is that? What is that?
#138
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With all due respect, you're talking about bringing guns to an intervention,
#139
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and you're drinking wine out of a soda can.
#140
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Yeah. You put wine in the soda can?
#141
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You didn't know, did you? That's good.
#142
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Soda. You stole Frank's idea.
#143
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Actually, it's a pretty good one. It's a good idea.
#144
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The guy's got great ideas. He's a smart man. That's not what we're here about.
#145
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- But I do feel like she just tried an intervention on us. - Did you intervene on us?
#146
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You know what I'm feeling? I'm feeling like you've lost control of the room here.
#147
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And we're the ones that are running things now. I've lost my trust in you.
#148
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- We can do this on our own. - We can do the intervention without her.
#149
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You guys think? Why not?
#150
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All right. Might as well give it a shot. Let's just do that.
#151
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Thank you. Thanks for your help. You did your best.
#152
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After you. No hard feelings.
#153
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I'm gonna grab some of this literature.
#154
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She didn't do that great of a job.
#155
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No, but don't beat her while she's down.
#156
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Frank, here's another idea.
#157
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Oh! Oh! Where'd you come from?
#158
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I've been walking next to you the entire time.
#159
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I'm sorry. I'm a little, uh, lit.
#160
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And, uh, I've been going over this thing.
#161
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I'm trying to figure out how- How to bang Donna. I know.
#162
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You've been talking about it for the last five miles.
#163
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Dude, it doesn't matter. I got a better idea.
#164
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I think you should bang Gail the Snail.
#165
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My niece? Yeah.
#166
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Gail the Snail? Dude, what's more depraved than that, huh?
#167
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Plus, you're not blood related, so it's not that weird.
#168
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That is a good idea.
#169
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I like the way you're thinking.
#170
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Ew! What's in it for you?
#171
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Huh?
#172
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Oh! Jesus! What's in it for you?
#173
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Don't worry about what's in it for me, dude.
#174
3e9a089a-a3f7-40ac-8362-8b4b87a7732f.gif
Good God! You are disgusting.
#175
1c74f705-bb44-4748-be9a-7829eb6f46b3.gif
A disgusting animal.
#176
ab1f0f68-f459-4e59-930f-00f0ef1cccdc.gif
Mm. Charlie.
#177
9fca45b4-ef54-4447-87cf-c8d69518c6f9.gif
Let's write him a letter. Let's write Frank a letter.
#178
36d5b15b-f777-48ae-a84f-52baf4f43112.gif
That's the first step in any intervention, right?
#179
255ba402-906e-4f0b-aa06-3fc4ea8a391e.gif
Huh. Yeah. Great. All right.
#180
4911c7ae-bdad-49ee-89c7-a6a66117a809.gif
So I'm assuming you'll have to dictate yours to me,
#181
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and then I'll just write it down for you, yeah? Yes, that'll be fine.
#182
bc16a05c-8bfc-479d-9b7b-55b00907af4d.gif
Okay, great. Let's- Let's do that.
#183
7dc6b8e0-cd04-4faf-a38b-d009355c409e.gif
Okay, uh, I guess my letter would be about...
#184
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how Frank and I aren't really making memories together anymore,
#185
4bbd4f7d-cc57-401e-b15b-9c1e9817dfd7.gif
and how when we don't make memories together, that's a hurtful thing for me.
#186
8f9cea97-0253-48c2-923d-8e3b5b61a5aa.gif
Okay. Uh, you know, let's just dive right in.
#187
4d0c1145-3ba8-41a8-b76e-386a2e13c0d6.gif
I'm not even gonna try and suss out where you're going with that one.
#188
15d52b10-9581-4ee0-beca-5410ab385c4f.gif
Right. Um, number one...
#189
12f01af1-6dab-4db6-bbd8-582ab80014b0.gif
when was the last time we played Night Crawlers together, Frank?
#190
105d6aa4-7637-4755-a41b-aab292a7f02e.gif
Oh. Oh, okay. What is that?
#191
1fe919bc-71c2-4b77-a440-c69b55d0713c.gif
Well, it's not about you. Why don't you just write it down, and then...
#192
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Yeah, but you said it. You said "Night Crawlers,"
#193
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and now I feel like I can't move past it.
#194
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I gotta know what that is. It's- It's no big deal.
#195
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You know? I...
#196
d182a0f0-aab0-46b7-9c21-3db85c3b559a.gif
If I were you, I'd just write it down because it's not really a big deal.
#197
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What is it? It's what it sounds like.
#198
7b87c220-78f2-4311-9e8f-b1bd0a0a0ae9.gif
What it sounds like is that you two crawl around like worms in the night.
#199
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That's what it sounds like.
#200
08103fe8-7766-48a7-ac89-4dcc42040581.gif
This is not about you, so I'd like for you...
#201
d0fa9d16-4bd7-4eb4-94be-a768032e5a41.gif
Damn! Shut up! Guess what!
#202
4c8cdf18-6de4-4263-9ef5-ba95e6547e16.gif
What? We got you! What do you guys think?
#203
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I thought when Frank comes in, we'll just bang and make a bunch of noise.
#204
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Oh, yeah. Ha! We've got you! All right.
#205
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But the pain is a little agitating. That's overboard, I think.
#206
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- It's too much? - I think that's too far.
#207
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The yelling and pointing and accusing and saying that he's trapped and surrounded...
#208
fafe7c1c-ba88-4f69-b330-511646712291.gif
is probably gonna be- That's gonna be great.
#209
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By the way, you guys, can I just say, as a side note,
#210
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I am loving this canned wine thing.
#211
ce3b9926-92a9-4ccb-b714-9177f5762529.gif
I think it's brilliant. Right?
#212
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I'm active. I'm gesturing with my hands, and I don't feel restricted.
#213
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If I was holding a wine glass, I'd be spilling wine all over the goddamn place.
#214
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It would get everywhere. We're not intervening on Frank for a lack of good ideas.
#215
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Well, that's for sure. Oh, no. Well, guys, maybe we're not doing the right thing.
#216
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You're talking a lot about wine. You got it all over your lips and teeth.
#217
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Maybe we need the help of a professional. We should probably get that lady back.
#218
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What are you talking about? We're coming up with all kinds of good ideas.
#219
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We're flowing here. I feel like we got some good stuff.
#220
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I just feel like- Maybe we should consult with the pamphlets, right?
#221
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The pamphlets I grabbed from the office. Oh, okay.
#222
0911b4e2-e3af-4949-b4d5-ac450b3915e7.gif
Well, I've been meaning to bring that up.
#223
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I took a lot at those pamphlets that you grabbed,
#224
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and not a single one of them has anything to do with intervention.
#225
f216f8d1-260f-44f1-958b-f8e512b8fcdf.gif
It's not even close. I'm starting to think we need to intervene on you...
#226
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for your goddamn illiteracy. Yeah, Charlie, you are getting real dumb.
#227
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Come on. All right. See, this is what I'm talking about. Illiteracy.
#228
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What does that word even mean? Come on.
#229
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I'm gonna get the lady, 'cause this is gettin' crazy.
#230
8b908eaf-d6b8-495f-bee0-d7ebddcc1f41.gif
We need help. I'm gettin' the lady.
#231
0168b822-851d-4b72-97cd-18980c874de2.gif
- Whoa. - How you doin', Frank?
#232
78e415d0-f657-4237-8701-23c082b6836e.gif
What the hell are you doing here?
#233
548d26ff-3d05-4e95-ad9e-fe3f8d54595b.gif
Frank, my plan is finally coming together.
#234
892be288-c1ea-430e-9563-85e415717a24.gif
With you out of the picture, I can swoop in on Donna.
#235
2f01ca13-222b-4274-b0d6-b1881d1cec85.gif
Is that why you pushed me off onto the Snail?
#236
358491bc-a4c2-4b5c-9007-56d964b2b05d.gif
Yeah, that's right, bitch. But that's what you wanted anyway, right?
#237
8edd6fae-ce34-4584-8688-efb4cd4c4433.gif
You wanted to be as depraved as possible.
#238
8fb8b96a-afe2-468c-b131-2de97e33799f.gif
Yeah. But I think the Snail is too depraved even for me.
#239
600e1a6a-788f-43e1-8986-700e63ec1057.gif
This broad is berserk.
#240
84e01648-34f2-4912-a817-aa6ce6555272.gif
Wake and bake. You guys bang?
#241
0535af3f-fc87-47fa-b17b-8d07d8650f21.gif
Oh, no. We did a bunch of those Monster Energy drinks and dry humped. It was awful.
#242
40b09f8c-729d-4ec0-ab10-2b880fb6ec12.gif
I think she gave me poison ivy.
#243
07c73377-9722-4bca-9eef-5f6b1cbee797.gif
Hey, hey there, sleepyhead.
#244
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I made you breakfast. I hope you like it crispy 'cause it is burned.
#245
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What is going on in here? How did you get in my house?
#246
e7669b08-b2d3-4831-b4fa-de583077a3eb.gif
Did you kick in my door?
#247
9d0cc0c5-790b-4847-aeb2-cd05d02a19ce.gif
Kick, yes. Kick in, no.
#248
70da2f9d-3b97-4e93-bcd7-bb63a4c18b3b.gif
That door is solid, which is the good news.
#249
db2ddf6a-c461-49de-8b9a-2d1d92850ba4.gif
The bad news is the window is not.
#250
2ce461ef-6084-49a6-9406-3eb3507a5afa.gif
That's gonna be a security concern. But don't worry.
#251
b8023d18-b1eb-437e-96a4-1671f9f00ce1.gif
I'm gonna fix it, make sure it's up to snuff.
#252
8346800e-379d-4cde-a57c-62a1e3e3c328.gif
You're always safe when you're with me. Are you ready for your breakfast?
#253
72780dcc-e9a4-401b-99fb-4416cdda74ee.gif
I'm sorry. What is happening here?
#254
b67599e2-080c-4af4-8a4d-a42f6056b486.gif
I haven't any idea, honestly. I'm giving Frank a handy under the table.
#255
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That is true.
#256
188be72b-16d1-465f-816d-e255bdcd1bab.gif
Look, Snail- Back off.
#257
56d32037-d0ed-4045-890f-eca3955d6f03.gif
Because you're just mashing it now. It's not...
#258
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For God sakes, Gail.
#259
516a9e9f-27f0-4e62-b757-381e2994073c.gif
Mom, I'm sexually active now. Get over it.
#260
b619d265-bf31-4d19-9c3b-6b21ae96040b.gif
You're 33 years old. You're supposed to be sexually active.
#261
a10428b8-daea-4fe7-96ca-ad06d123e24f.gif
You're not supposed to be fondling your uncle under a table.
#262
fade1a07-48ba-42bc-9f38-1c13647f6167.gif
We're not blood related. Will you just please leave her alone?
#263
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I'll make a deal with you. I dump the Snail if you and I go out.
#264
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Frank, you can't do that. Donna's my girl.
#265
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I called her first at the funeral. Fair is fair.
#266
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Let me make something perfectly clear.
#267
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I will never be with either of you.
#268
f3383eac-f9e4-4ce7-ae5d-8fe4324b4cc5.gif
Why are you doing this to me? Why can't you just let me be happy?
#269
8afca727-68f0-40d5-b947-c270ad9cd53c.gif
I want everybody out of my house. Jesus Christ.
#270
0d399350-3e3e-4007-ae95-8054fa2032eb.gif
Out of my house! Okay!
#271
d9a1a787-ef97-4907-9c45-3120754381e9.gif
- Fine. - Not you. You live here, Gail.
#272
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I hate it here. I'm leaving. I'm going with this guy. He's my boyfriend.
#273
92a00dbf-f9d7-4bdc-8917-0d5818a5a39c.gif
- I'm taking some eggs. - I am not your boyfriend.
#274
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Frank, what is with this chick? She's berserk.
#275
4e4e2a24-6261-4c1a-a645-89ef25ab5544.gif
Oh, okay. I get it. So Frank sits there,
#276
39a3be60-1c74-4591-9aa6-c21be687dae1.gif
and we put stools in a semicircle.
#277
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You wanna make sure there's a border all around him...
#278
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so there's no going anywhere. And zing him from every angle.
#279
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Yep. Okay.
#280
e8423ccf-d379-4b43-8475-45eec5fc8bd1.gif
- That makes sense. - There she is!
#281
fec3c9a0-551b-44eb-829c-40d50a0ad528.gif
Hey! Hey! Thank you for coming!
#282
c78b3af4-0be8-4770-9573-c6f0ca253b9d.gif
- - We really appreciate this. We really appreciate it.
#283
a73a2eec-0f14-4137-b52b-c1690b77cf49.gif
Well, I'm here because clearly your friend is in desperate need of help.
#284
c57df48e-2eac-4858-8fc3-e320964ce6a2.gif
Yeah, yeah, yeah!
#285
f238d4d2-96eb-4b1f-88a2-d352a7de4a82.gif
Well, we realize we also just need as many people attacking this guy...
#286
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as we can possibly get. Mm-hmm.
#287
be9a37c1-92f7-4456-abdd-0e9faadf8a4a.gif
Well, not attacking. This is why I'm glad you called me back.
#288
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Yeah, okay, listen. Before we get into that,
#289
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could you help us pop a quick intervention on Charlie for his illiteracy?
#290
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The kid can't read or write. Not a bit.
#291
32442f32-3948-479e-83c8-50b83838d6d2.gif
- - No joke. It's no joke.
#292
98924263-721e-4def-ad54-fead0c0aa6ac.gif
They've been riding me all day. I can read and write. I just don't like to read and write.
#293
daa5396c-ebdd-4c36-a9cf-95c10cab54e4.gif
Let's try and stay focused on Frank.
#294
3702e6d3-d113-4c8f-8c73-b528306d1c81.gif
That's a good point. He's gonna be here any second.
#295
839b67f1-9df7-4c83-a3f1-29ffa9b453ca.gif
We told him there was a giant grease fire...
#296
e7762313-4100-49fa-81e3-aba7095f992c.gif
and he had to come down immediately.
#297
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Uh-oh. She's- I'm assuming you wouldn't have lured him down with a fire.
#298
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Is that what your face is doing right now?
#299
64b78802-456f-472d-a41a-938a68ec95ec.gif
Yeah. Um, and I wouldn't have an intervention at a bar either.
#300
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Well, lady, look,
#301
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all mistakes we've made on our own, so it's good that you're here.
#302
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We're doing our best. We're doing our best.
#303
827440a5-f66f-4462-8129-5268d8382539.gif
Where's the goddamn fire?
#304
e5714471-385a-4e46-8c7c-2dde9c96d32d.gif
Intervention! Intervention! Ah, intervention!
#305
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Intervention! I got it! I got it! You're surrounded, Frank!
#306
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There's nowhere for you to go. You're trapped. You're trapped.
#307
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You're trapped! You're trapped!
#308
b628bf8f-4046-4123-96dc-1d0455fc421e.gif
Got you! Got you! You're trapped!
#309
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- That's enough! That's enough! - We told you there was gonna be a gun.
#310
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What the hell's going on? Got you, man!
#311
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Sit down! You sit down so we can tell you what an asshole you've been.
#312
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We're gonna get all in your face and point out your faults.
#313
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A roast? I've always wanted to be roasted.
#314
677a754b-7fac-49e3-bea8-d74e745f5193.gif
Oh, wait. Let me just switch gears here...
#315
d909df6e-72e0-4278-b67e-0de79f525cb9.gif
fire up this spliff.
#316
af719cb5-f4dd-44b3-9559-45792653341a.gif
No, no, no, no. Wait. Frank, hold on.
#317
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Um, everyone's here today because they care about you and they want you to get well.
#318
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She ain't funny. Next.
#319
c28a108e-a293-4829-b5b0-dd32e10dc4a0.gif
Frank, you're an asshole. Ah! That's it.
#320
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- Now rain down on me. Come on. - You're a prick!
#321
f8a1b150-c274-4809-81aa-f051879069a7.gif
And your addiction has affected us in the following ways.
#322
ad7bfb6e-3592-4132-ba4e-5769c2300e72.gif
You are annoying!
#323
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Dennis, come on! Give it to me with both barrels!
#324
4a94520b-e0cf-427c-bca1-91e6a5e2b52d.gif
Why do we never play Night Crawlers anymore, huh? I don't know, Charlie.
#325
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What is Night Crawlers? It's a game where they crawl around in the night like worms.
#326
6652e603-35f7-422b-9aaf-9c7222a88324.gif
I never said that. Yeah, well, that's what it is.
#327
eb449edd-b45c-4802-bf1a-e47c7c4f923c.gif
Intervention! Intervention! Is nothing private, Frank?
#328
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Jesus! Look, I like that game. I don't wanna stop playing it.
#329
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Well, Charlie, we can play that game.
#330
aa6ced3e-2894-461a-9f8b-159a69e38f94.gif
You promise? Yeah.
#331
de09cb06-e968-481a-acc8-4dfe368abd26.gif
Whoo! Ahh! Yeah.
#332
b2ad7108-6b58-43e8-bc4c-98d0783352df.gif
Stop touching me.
#333
8f8c578d-c3ce-4321-ac93-18c0981b7477.gif
- Just stop. - Whoa! What's this?
#334
c5c4be89-987e-4401-8fbd-9f7e9e5c4797.gif
Me and Mac are together.
#335
21f1c7ae-8640-44f5-a277-55873e7873ad.gif
No! No! No!
#336
dcf554f7-7a3d-4fd5-b0d4-0e59b2fc5509.gif
Intervention! Intervention! Intervention!
#337
56e73f52-2dc7-40e8-a95d-ac42b735e5a6.gif
What are you interventioning me for?
#338
adb21ca6-6c29-4870-b665-2ba69ac65906.gif
Because you can't be banging Gail the Snail.
#339
e9b26045-e6bf-4fcd-9f25-d1499d989923.gif
I'm not banging Gail the Snail. She followed me home.
#340
723ddb5a-e1ab-4f59-9963-692e43301a10.gif
Oh! She was doing that the whole time.
#341
6379a0a3-0c88-42e4-ac29-67b3038b7070.gif
Yeah, she does that. Swallow it or spit it out.
#342
5b8d123c-0b30-4a93-aedc-1ee2410edadf.gif
No, don't! Oh, my God.
#343
5a7086a9-7607-4787-aa8f-d46dd7ac4f43.gif
See? Intervention!
#344
0a97e2bc-a044-46c6-9ca6-ee16e5902ab6.gif
Hey, babe, I'll get you a drink from the bar.
#345
a4b83003-0983-4d3f-b859-4a46d119586e.gif
Great. My God. What are you doing, Mac?
#346
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I was just going over to her house to try and bang Donna...
#347
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because she reminds me so much of your mom,
#348
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which is the best sex I ever had.
#349
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- - Intervention. Intervention.
#350
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Huh? You banged my dead wife?
#351
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Well, she was alive at the time.
#352
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- But- Did you not know that? - No.
#353
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It's cool, man. It's cool. Intervention. Intervention. Okay?
#354
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Look, he's got a weird fetish for older women, so don't hold it against him.
#355
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I don't have an older-woman fetish.
#356
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Yeah, you do. I don't wanna bang this chick.
#357
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Let's cool it with the intervention stuff for a second...
#358
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'cause there's a lot of 'em being thrown around right now,
#359
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and I'm having a little bit of trouble keeping track.
#360
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The most important intervention is the one we need to do on Gail the Snail...
#361
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and getting her out of our lives.
#362
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Guys, let's do shots and get crazy.
#363
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No, Gail. No. We're intervening on you, Snail. Go. Get out of here.
#364
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Yeah, right. How is she not getting this?
#365
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She's stonewalling us. It is a classic Snail technique. Classic.
#366
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Ya! Get out of here, Snail! He's got the salt!
#367
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Salt the Snail! Ya, ya, ya!
#368
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Go, Snail! Ya, ya, ya!
#369
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Ya! Ya! Hey, guys! Guys, guys!
#370
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I was gonna invite you guys all to a rave to hang out,
#371
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but now I don't wanna hang out with you anymore.
#372
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Oh, my God. Salt the Snail. Just salt her.
#373
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Wait, wait! Do you guys wanna go?
#374
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No, no! We don't wanna go! Wait!
#375
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I have glow sticks.
#376
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Salt the Snail!
#377
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The whole thing!
#378
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- Ya, ya, ya! - What is with that broad?
#379
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She is the worst, right? That's what we've been saying.
#380
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Oh, my God. That was a terrible experience for me by the way.
#381
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Of course it was. Nobody likes salting the Snail, but she gives you no choice.
#382
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- She doesn't leave you with any options. - What a horrible thing.
#383
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I'm all worked up now. I feel bad.
#384
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I feel like maybe I should have some more wine in a can.
#385
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I'll get you one. I can use some canned wine to calm down a little bit.
#386
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Oh, you guys are drinking wine out of those cans?
#387
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Oh, you guys are drinking wine out of those cans?
#388
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Hell, yeah, baby. Hell, yeah.
#389
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Can I have one? Yes, and you will notice the advantages almost immediately.
#390
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Here. Try this. I feel like drinking wine out of a can...
#391
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is conducive to my violent hand gestures when I speak.
#392
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You tend to be very emphatic and strong and- There's no spillage.
#393
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Say I wanna give one to Frank. You didn't get any on me.
#394
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I spilled a little. You wanna point accusatorily, but...
#395
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But it really boosts your mobility.
#396
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Excuse me. Excuse- Excuse me.
#397
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People, I- I'm sorry, but how do you guys wanna proceed from here?
#398
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Because I'm a little confused.
#399
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Ohh!
#400
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Did you wanna- Right. Okay.
#401
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Um- Well, I guess we kind of got what we needed out of the intervention.
#402
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Yeah. Right? So good job.
#403
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Was it? Did she? We did all the work, didn't we?
#404
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So we can't really pay you 'cause of that.
#405
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I know we said we would, but we won't. Yeah.
#406
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Um, how about a can of wine? Oh.
#407
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No.
#408
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Oh. All right. Well...
#409
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Okay, well, on your way. Adios.
#410
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On your way then. Take your jacket.
#411
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Get out of here.
#412
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Take that shoulder-padded jacket and get the hell out.
#413
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Thanks for stopping by.
#414
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Don't expect a check in the mail.
#415
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Hey! Up top!
#416
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Up top, everybody! Great intervention!
#417
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Great intervention! Great intervention work!
#418
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ENGLISH - US - PSDH
#419