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Home » I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson » S01E03 — It's the Cigars You Smoke That Are Gonna Give You Cancer

I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson

Season 1, Episode 3 — It's the Cigars You Smoke That Are Gonna Give You Cancer

TMDB episode metadata
Show: I Think You Should Leave with Tim Robinson
Episode title: It's the Cigars You Smoke That Are Gonna Give You Cancer
Air date: April 23, 2019
Directors: Akiva Schaffer, Alice Mathias
Top billed cast: Tim Robinson
A magic show opens up a marital rift. Interesting idea at a car design brainstorm. A fill-in organist at a funeral. A very esoteric charades player.
Source: TMDB
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[laughter]
laughter
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Thanks so much.
thanks
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Well, now I'm looking for a volunteer from the audience.
audiencelookingvolunteer
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Okay. Let's welcome him on stage. Come on up.
stagewelcome
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[laughs]
laughs
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-What's your name? -Charlie.
charliename
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Charlie, we're gonna do just a quick sobriety test.
charliequicksobrietytest
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-Can you do that? -Yeah.
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-How many balls do I have in my hand? -One.
ballshand
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These aren't supposed to be hard yet, Charlie.
charliehardsupposed
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[crowd laughs] I'll slow it down for you. Okay.
crowdcrowd-laughslaughsslow
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-Can you do that? -I think so.
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He thinks so.
thinks
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Confidence is not your strong suit, neither is your suit-suit.
confidencestrongsuit
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All right, Charlie,
charlie
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I just want you to focus on which hand the ball is in.
ballfocushand
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-Okay. -And I'll give you a hint.
hint
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It's not this one.
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-Right here? -Goddamn it, Charlie.
charliegoddamngoddamn-it
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Which hand is it in?
hand
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-Right here? -No, Charlie, it's in your pocket.
charliepocket
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Give him a round of applause. It's Charlie.
applausecharlieround
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Give it up for him.
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[laughter]
laughter
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All right, ladies and gentlemen,
gentlemenladies
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the next trick is something that kept me out of college for...
collegetrick
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That was really fun.
fun
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God, I'm so full.
full
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If I didn't have to drive,
drive
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I would have probably took them up on that offer of the bourbon flight.
bourbonflightoffer
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That's so cool.
cool
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[sighs wearily]
sighswearily
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We should do dancing next.
dancing
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So the babysitter did art with the kids. That's cool.
babysittercoolkids
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[chuckles]
chuckles
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Such a fun night.
funnight
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Good night, sweetie. Love you.
lovenightsweetie
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[woman] Why the fuck didn't you stick up for yourself?
fuckstickwoman
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-What? -Why the fuck
fuck
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didn't you stick up for yourself,
stick
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you fucking coward?
cowardfucking
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What are you talking about?
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The magician, Charlie.
charliemagician
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He embarrassed you.
embarrassed
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What?
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He brought you on stage,
broughtstage
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and he insulted your intelligence.
insultedintelligence
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He made fun of how you look, and you did nothing.
fun
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[laughs]
laughs
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No, he was just joking around. He was a funny magician.
funnyjokingmagician
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That fat piece of shit made you look like a fool, Charlie.
charliefoolpiece
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He basically pulled your little dick out in front of everyone
dickfrontpulled
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and jerked you off until nothing came out,
jerked
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because you are a boy.
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No, that is not what happened.
happened
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Look...
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we will stay married
married
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and raise the kids until they're out of the house,
housekidsraise
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but I will not respect you,
respect
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and I'll make sure the kids don't either.
kids
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Oh, my God, it was just a magic act, Brenda.
brendamagic
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You make ten times what he makes. Why didn't you say that to him?
makestimes
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-I don't know if that would've helped. -Right, maybe it wouldn't have helped.
helpedwouldve
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I'm glad you had fun
funglad
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while everyone else had to watch an adult man
adultwatch
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jerk your little-boy dick off.
dickjerk
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Jesus Christ.
christjesusjesus-christ
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-[applause] -[magician] Now... Thank you.
applausemagician
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I'd like to pick from the audience any volunteer.
audiencepickvolunteer
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-Someone-- -Yeah!
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I'll do it.
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Is that... That's a familiar face.
facefamiliar
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We don't usually do that, but welcome him to the stage.
stageusuallywelcome
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-[applause] -Hello. How are you? Terrific.
applauseterrific
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I don't have a boy dick.
dick
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Okay. Okay, that's fine. Uh...
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I make ten times as much as you.
times
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Well, you wouldn't know it from the suit.
suit
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[laughter]
laughter
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[yells] You ruined my fucking life!
fuckingfucking-lifeliferuinedyells
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["Big Flame (Is Gonna Break My Heart In Two)" by Doris Wilson]
breakdorisdoris-wilsonflameheartwilson
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for agreeing to be part of this focus group.
agreeingfocusfocus-groupgrouppart
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in helping us create a brand-new model.
brandcreatehelpingmodel
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There are no wrong answers.
answers
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So let's go around the room,
room
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and you just go ahead and call out features
aheadfeaturesgo-ahead
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you'd love to see implemented in your ideal car.
ideallove
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Whenever you're ready.
ready
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8c70e0f9-a7f1-42b8-a564-a2c4b7a0cbbd.gif
-Bluetooth capabilities. -Great.
bluetoothcapabilities
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-Voice-activated lights. -Perfect.
activatedlightsperfectvoice
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-Satellite radio. -Mm-hm.
radiosatellite
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-Extra cup holders. -And a phone holder.
extraholderholdersphone
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ad494777-04d1-4aa8-a0fc-7b5a2f345718.gif
A good steering wheel that doesn't fly off while you're driving.
drivingsteeringsteering-wheelwheel
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[man] Rear-view camera.
camerarearrear-viewview
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5c5216b9-d114-4353-a435-0316d047f04c.gif
-Comfy seats. -A good steering wheel
comfyseatssteeringsteering-wheelwheel
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that doesn't fly off your hand while you're driving.
drivinghand
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Uh, automatic side-view mirrors.
automaticmirrorssideview
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A great steering wheel
steeringsteering-wheelwheel
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that doesn't whiff out of the window while I driving.
drivingwhiffwindow
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bb85b964-9b55-4d5b-b9bb-1f2c7b97f060.gif
That is a good idea.
idea
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Yeah, I wrote it down.
wrote
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Oh, nice.
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Okay, what do we think it should look like?
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adf9ad83-7434-40ed-b770-9336f570ea57.gif
-Sleek. -Good.
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High-tech.
tech
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-Aerodynamic. -Too small.
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-I'm sorry? -Too small.
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So when you get in there, you're like,
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"If the steering wheel fly off, I'm toast."
steeringsteering-wheeltoastwheel
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Look, I-- Okay, I don't know why we'd make it too small.
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I think it's a good idea, and I stand by.
ideastand
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-Okay. -And you can have, like, a sporty look.
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-Great. -Teacher's pet.
teachers
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Stinky!
stinky
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What?
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I'm sorry.
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I cannot think any good car idea
cannotidea
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because this guy keep farting.
farting
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What are some ways we can make it family-friendly?
familyfriendlyways
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No space for mother-in-law.
motherspace
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That's not helpful.
helpful
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Shut up, Paul.
paul
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You probably love your mother-in-law.
lovemother
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I actually do.
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Oh, my God, he admit it!
admit
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[group laughs]
grouplaughs
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e2fc4f1a-8f9d-4f69-9ab0-fe3656430ca0.gif
-Paul? -What?
paul
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cae01a1d-762a-4efe-8491-97d33b805131.gif
-Paul? -What?
paul
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[whispers] You have... no... good... car... ideas.
ideaswhispers
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-Shut up. -I doing the best at this.
best
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All right, maybe we should lay off Paul.
paul
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That's what his wife said.
wife
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6f597161-4472-41d5-b04a-dbe7c152f1b8.gif
[group laughs]
grouplaughs
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5a01b007-ad96-40d5-a98a-28f6989c10ee.gif
[group celebrates]
celebratesgroup
↓
c9b29426-18e1-4ff1-82f5-e814fcf466ed.gif
You flinched, Paul!
flinchedpaul
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Now you have to marry your mother-in-law!
marrymother
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Yeah, because he landed it and you flinched,
flinchedlanded
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you have to marry your mother-in-law!
marrymother
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I did not flinch.
flinch
↓
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-You have to! You have to, Paul. -Marry your mother-in-law.
marrymotherpaul
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-I didn't flinch. -Come on, Paul.
flinchpaul
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If you don't, that mean you yourself
↓
b96910e8-6c63-4e60-9c10-4f06fd159c88.gif
admit it yourself that you suck.
admitsuck
↓
dbce1f93-5534-4f1e-883e-71c09f599b9a.gif
That's true. You flinched with the bottle, Paul.
bottleflinchedpaul
↓
d3812070-711e-4ee1-8259-9ecaf11d95ef.gif
Who is the most popular now, Paul?
paulpopular
↓
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[group leader] Paul, you have to marry your mother-in-law
groupleadermarrymotherpaul
↓
f6209f21-a720-4350-9651-7c432b4da560.gif
if you flinched at the bottle!
bottleflinched
↓
3bc1ebc0-081f-46d3-9217-d13e2fc7f8ac.gif
[whooshing]
whooshing
↓
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-[group celebrates] -Paul! You flinch!
celebratesflinchgrouppaul
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[funk music playing]
funkmusicmusic-playingplaying
↓
68a65eba-3a46-4627-88d0-2fa5de0cda4b.gif
[woman] Chronic back pain affects everything:
affectschronicpainwoman
↓
78881206-a124-4b1d-a8a6-58ca526ea11d.gif
Your family, your job, even your leisure time.
familyleisure
↓
7a2666cc-b371-4bbe-aa9d-79dcec228d6b.gif
At Laser Spine Specialists,
laserspecialistsspine
↓
95cacdd1-9e3f-4572-81f8-9f7e5c556180.gif
with our minimally invasive spine surgery,
invasivespinesurgery
↓
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you can be back on your feet and back in the saddle.
feetsaddle
↓
1b873b13-a8d8-4c77-b479-fbf829c0ceec.gif
I never thought I'd ride again.
ride
↓
2d67523b-ffad-41c8-b579-4b4b3f970b71.gif
I can finally get back to tending my garden.
finallygarden
↓
45c3a678-83eb-493c-a5f9-0f2dc58a8de7.gif
I can finally fight my wife's new husband, Danny Crouse.
dannyfightfinallyhusbandwifes
↓
e2a7ac5e-3c48-4a9a-a293-96b318b96fdb.gif
Call Laser Spine Specialists for your no-cost MRI review
costlaserreviewspecialistsspine
↓
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and change your life today.
changelifetoday
↓
fad2fd19-4af8-4cbb-ba45-583d906a8b9d.gif
I'm back to helping out around the house again.
helpinghouse
↓
1df06b10-e361-4514-94aa-6bb11d6c5de7.gif
I can finally lift my son over my head again.
finallyheadlift
↓
b0572df9-037e-46fc-9490-6f3d37bb918f.gif
I can lift my son over my head again,
headlift
↓
d3ab466b-d2e0-436e-ba2c-bb0943521315.gif
and there ain't shit he could do about it.
aint
↓
1f19fb24-4431-4436-9edd-761526096fd3.gif
Come here, you little fuck!
fuck
↓
a2217996-df13-470a-b57e-86a39b526feb.gif
Dad! What the hell?
↓
4ceffdf8-98cd-4028-8bc8-b6670b865cfa.gif
Come on. I'm gonna get you over my head like a big boy.
head
↓
ffef008a-7948-4ab1-8234-e1bdbc3f0270.gif
He's been rude to me his whole life!
liferudewholewhole-life
↓
f112f578-d067-446a-a7f0-31518a530a6c.gif
to learn how a less than two-inch incision
inchincisionlearnless
↓
4d534277-9c1a-48a7-8a01-9223bbac31dd.gif
can give you a new lease on life.
leaselife
↓
8294c75c-0b0d-4e63-9ac3-1330e6ca3b98.gif
I can spin my wife again.
spinwife
↓
13572b19-a33b-4f7c-89a9-0ee3d9bebaa6.gif
I can play with my dog again. [dog barking]
barking
↓
4d364b4b-0933-4013-8e3a-57f6644924dd.gif
-[siren wails] -[car horn blares]
blareshornhorn-blaressirensiren-wailswails
↓
a1d78349-b4d0-421d-9fdd-68e415f40799.gif
You told me I could sing!
sing
↓
bb3dec41-1426-41e2-8c98-02d567f3489f.gif
I listened to the record we made and it sucks!
listenedrecordsucks
↓
85bc9189-1e88-4de1-9f6a-d00258da7d21.gif
Hey, I disagree, Ron.
disagree
↓
ceca52e5-4e02-47b2-943a-8ba99e5204c9.gif
I gave you $10,000 to make me a star!
star
↓
4c061846-4085-4c8d-ade8-ea5fb6bf1d2b.gif
We just need a couple more dollars to get this thing really popping off!
coupledollarspopping
↓
83d02df0-fd54-4284-868a-ab98126f5794.gif
I'm through, Robbie.
robbie
↓
eea5569a-daa0-4e33-822b-2ca5c8d6959a.gif
I played "Mountain River Rock"
mountainplayedriverrock
↓
f975c4af-89ea-42ee-b58a-1bdd2e2328c6.gif
for my whole family and they laughed at me.
familylaughedwholewhole-family
↓
fe0a98c6-f34a-40ab-902b-209c43d5bc02.gif
Your family hates you! Only I love you!
familyhateslove
↓
5fbcb8c5-6785-410d-83bb-81f18e8d81cb.gif
And that song is rockin', baby.
babyrockinsong
↓
29b4c7f3-eeb4-4d13-97b5-aa073ee85ccc.gif
We got to fly Jeff Chris down from Indiana
chrisindianajeff
↓
70e3030e-b4d9-4313-bc45-5de42b01195c.gif
-to mix it professionally. -You listen to me.
professionally
↓
7ff575a6-415f-4b60-988e-57585fa62a2a.gif
No more scamming adults into thinking they're stars.
adultsstarsthinking
↓
088780c5-6b5c-48d6-9440-88034848868f.gif
-[thud] -What the hell, Robbie?!
robbiethud
↓
20199a89-fab8-4809-87c2-050cb96e68c9.gif
Where's my airplay?
↓
d1337935-edf3-4203-90cc-e83be0c03b39.gif
I had the radio tuned to that station you told me all weekend
radiostationtunedweekend
↓
f7df78ae-ef5b-48ec-a11d-28e13f7c9466.gif
and my song never came on.
song
↓
bed77f2d-b0b9-406f-973e-a20243d9323c.gif
Don't listen to him, he tricked me too.
tricked
↓
ee950fcd-d4d6-42ea-87c0-fa6b422fe346.gif
Hey, listen, I just got this new beat
beat
↓
f6921071-a8bd-42b1-8db1-c4477be74004.gif
and it is totally in your Q zone, all right?
zone
↓
00118c83-7cbc-4f76-82d0-7839102eb99c.gif
Don't start this with me, Robbie.
robbiestart
↓
b36df5c5-28a4-4b82-9ab3-888a31692d05.gif
-I can't sing. -It's a guaranteed goddamn hit, all right?
goddamnguaranteedsing
↓
4cfcfe90-9845-4b2b-a323-1ed91a40e90f.gif
It's not exactly in my Q zone, is it?
zone
↓
606a36be-b1e5-43c6-99a9-dda7418625e6.gif
I mean, yeah. It's also in Johnny's Q zone.
johnnyszone
↓
4f4b39d7-6757-4bbb-82d4-2f4423872f82.gif
Johnny, do "Palm Tree" for us.
johnnypalmtree
↓
2b4c1b21-e23b-4a15-8675-804b97ddcdb8.gif
Don't give it to Johnny. Hold on!
johnny
↓
1e956222-3c44-4fc4-b7c7-17667b1743d0.gif
Let me think about it for a minute!
minute
↓
4abfc698-9f83-475c-bb24-230149db8639.gif
[drumbeat]
↓
909dfdd4-4928-4715-a50a-46dc30bf9181.gif
[woman] Call Laser Spine Specialists today
laserspecialistsspinetodaywoman
↓
6d6e10fe-4d04-403a-ab9e-d06f45c06484.gif
and get back to the things you've always wanted to do.
wanted
↓
1d314201-0390-4dfd-9c9d-e101a518ad1a.gif
You're too tight!
tight
↓
dfd65001-e10f-42c4-9091-fa2fb247ca33.gif
Need to loosen up!
loosen
↓
d6401970-0653-4b3f-8031-9b858137beb3.gif
It's gonna be a hit,
↓
20b9b967-a71a-4ed4-8a70-cc3b4450f9c0.gif
but you have to relax!
relax
↓
fe00f1c1-c33b-4674-b62d-0ff78798d1f9.gif
♪ Baby, baby, baby, baby Ba-ba-bay ♪
babybaby-babybaby-baby-baby
↓
972b9810-a345-4ede-845d-1c2a055c8cd0.gif
And that was my dad, you know?
↓
baf90029-8613-4896-bd4a-cb53237024a9.gif
No matter how busy he was,
busymatter
↓
80541bfd-1734-4321-a194-a0dba71db39b.gif
he always had time for his kids.
kids
↓
66a47af1-841c-4b2c-ae79-d33fc7d3c478.gif
Gonna miss you, Dad.
miss
↓
5d8334b1-ec37-4420-81fd-b079216833db.gif
Beautiful words, Kyle. Your father would have been so proud.
fatherkyleproudwords
↓
a7f65d4a-fb55-4eff-a47b-04c3f76288d3.gif
So to honor Paul,
honorpaul
↓
f5ac625d-797d-4068-b058-b505cf914151.gif
why don't we listen to and enjoy a beautiful song?
enjoysong
↓
a513f646-722d-4b44-a321-047a2d379cc7.gif
Oh, our organist, Peg, is under the weather,
weather
↓
4c3045b3-ab45-4677-80e9-2316754eb329.gif
so we have a replacement organist for the day.
replacement
↓
1610168a-1e13-4939-b3bb-f9fae7b21f1a.gif
And I'm now seeing that he brought his own much larger organ.
broughtlargerorganseeing
↓
edf99ce7-e00b-4138-b4b0-d8f1466c838a.gif
My condolences.
condolences
↓
4efc9617-d16d-47cb-9b4c-fe01112cac4c.gif
Let us bow our heads.
heads
↓
5329d868-0c4f-4606-9b90-6330a830b766.gif
Two, three, four!
fourthreethree-four
↓
ad78d65e-280c-4700-a383-410c83919120.gif
[confusing carnival song playing]
carnivalconfusingplayingsongsong-playing
↓
23e5018e-ffd3-4f5b-94cf-7db8d201069a.gif
[slide whistle]
slidewhistle
↓
960337dd-fb58-4714-8c2b-1e6d4ba256aa.gif
[horns honking]
honkinghornshorns-honking
↓
b35aed7a-b637-4f20-86ed-c5df118836f0.gif
[confusing music continuing]
confusingcontinuingmusic
↓
d8d26091-44ef-4d3a-afb3-9da9b68cf063.gif
[honk]
honk
↓
118000f0-3c25-499b-a4b0-954c811e9b50.gif
[music stopping]
musicstopping
↓
7b1fc996-c91b-43c7-a1b2-1e90665e3bcb.gif
My condolences.
condolences
↓
bb579b45-19a6-46ad-b8bf-852bfb80d9ed.gif
Thank you, New Joe.
↓
e8f22250-6df8-472f-b3d2-c951b145a72e.gif
The thanks is all mine, Parson.
thanks
↓
5196ba03-c1c6-4385-966f-4d8730111e3f.gif
And I'll play her on.
↓
296cec98-2969-4637-9a7b-8929686d363d.gif
It's called "He Layeth on High,"
called
↓
fdcfa95c-c3ca-43a8-9739-97c998829daa.gif
and it's about a big baby duck
babyduck
↓
e34aafe5-9391-450d-96ea-3543640a30fa.gif
who gets his head caught in a stewed tomato,
caughtheadtomato
↓
b76c9904-bae6-40e1-8095-152cbbc32d85.gif
so hold on to your hats.
hats
↓
516734aa-e6a2-47f6-9752-ddb27bcc090b.gif
Two, three, four!
fourthreethree-four
↓
b4b7db71-f3f2-4bcb-bbfc-becf148e5c2b.gif
-[rapid jaunty melody playing] -[honk]
honkjauntymelodyplayingrapid
↓
b71dc689-d765-42fb-952e-cf5478ba58b8.gif
[plate breaks, jaunty melody continues]
breakscontinuesjauntymelodymelody-continuesplate
↓
b05e236a-d16f-40c0-ad73-5e97427aaad1.gif
-[jaunty melody continues] -[honk]
continueshonkjauntymelodymelody-continues
↓
0c14e44b-7d93-490e-a8a4-2439a5024e5e.gif
[slide whistles]
slidewhistles
↓
a008e67a-493f-49e6-a2a7-a2a5c637c342.gif
-[plate breaks] -[cymbal]
breaksplate
↓
e684b07d-cc98-4e6e-a344-e1d94d4215de.gif
New Joe!
↓
782a3105-9a16-4fe5-b6ad-7675b8c3e87e.gif
Keep going?
↓
f226cdd7-9c61-4638-80b3-f11b05e273c6.gif
No.
↓
860e1b0a-4b8f-4365-8fcf-a2589d41856c.gif
-[old-fashioned vehicle horn] -melody continues]
continuesfashionedhornmelodymelody-continuesvehicle
↓
af54cbc7-1cc6-4d1f-9b7c-448d8b8c2949.gif
-[honk] -[plate breaks]
breakshonkplate
↓
ef707882-2e7d-4262-9953-ba922fc11733.gif
-[high-pitched slide whistle] -[melody continues]
continuesmelodymelody-continuespitchedslidewhistle
↓
215260df-ff7d-4750-9165-d552eb21f6c8.gif
[melody stopping]
melodystopping
↓
e48baa37-5ab8-43ff-879a-bd3871dff61b.gif
♪ Yah-yah-yah-yah-yah-yah ♪
↓
e399ee4c-ef1b-463c-bd3c-05b985ce9bcb.gif
Your new boyfriend seems very mature.
boyfriendmatureseems
↓
7644133a-9624-4ad3-b357-c0343a34195e.gif
Yeah, Howie's great.
↓
9bc3d0b8-0948-4caf-9ca3-cd4b0218f547.gif
He works at the tobacco shop my mom buys cigars at.
buyscigarsshoptobaccoworks
↓
71a872bb-07f9-4d44-b5b1-041d91adc189.gif
All right, let's play.
↓
9ce87176-0365-4415-a574-fcecb56048b9.gif
Your record collection's very meat and potatoes, Liz.
meatpotatoesrecord
↓
7eb1e912-8232-4f1a-a90c-3706bbe3aca6.gif
Oh, thank you.
↓
ebddf9c6-3f78-429e-8bd7-7043a6b37b5f.gif
No, it just means you don't have anything rare in there.
rare
↓
802179dc-74e8-4f8c-ab7d-e401c440c0cd.gif
Okay, everyone got a celebrity name in?
celebrityname
↓
9b40156f-f7c5-4efc-a6b9-30b912ca6a6f.gif
All right, Team One, you're up.
team
↓
858fac87-b236-458e-84f9-695640f9e3fc.gif
-[man] Remind me the rules again? -You can say anything you want,
remindrules
↓
721b7f23-19b7-4edc-9238-043227818ce5.gif
just don't say the name you pull out of the hat.
namepull
↓
05297424-dfbb-4a35-81c3-037618e351f3.gif
-Okay. -Okay.
↓
a087fa0e-c1b7-48c1-a494-cfaf7c9ed94e.gif
-Ready? -All right, let's do this.
ready
↓
998738af-992a-4286-9ae2-38c4bcdbf4c7.gif
And... go.
↓
4d257f2c-04b6-4342-a2f8-90c80dd53850.gif
-He was in Ocean's Eleven. -Matt Damon.
damonelevenmattoceans
↓
e2ce5ea3-fee7-4198-9b85-2e75cd12d6c4.gif
No.
↓
252e6a11-9613-44b5-a303-73eb6a5a73a3.gif
He has a tequila, silver fox...
silvertequila
↓
b7593860-f65b-468c-a672-8df6bc4f3426.gif
-George Clooney. -Yes.
george
↓
956dd2fd-ba0a-44a0-b58f-68fad97ab189.gif
Okay, she was a pretty woman.
woman
↓
b46abaf7-6888-4573-a96f-677dc38f0a9f.gif
-Julia Roberts. -Yes. Okay, um...
roberts
↓
863a788f-1a7c-41f0-a514-a6a1251c5c59.gif
All right, I guess this is a musician.
musician
↓
ee12663a-1b86-4569-818a-ed25a0496928.gif
-John Mayer. -No, older...
johnolder
↓
d5fe454c-5e55-42c7-a479-baa662d8650e.gif
-Time. -Goddamn.
goddamn
↓
b4fe5da9-02ff-412e-a8c5-2bc558d4de03.gif
It's jazz legend Marcus "The Worm" Hicks.
jazzlegendmarcusworm
↓
a8e82b16-96a2-48a6-a685-aa01f600def1.gif
[giggles] Okay, who put that in?
giggles
↓
a7079ef8-4189-4a8d-9c52-ef89a9ef7ca3.gif
That one might be one of mine.
might
↓
54e02a9f-479b-4cf5-a8a1-02947dc7213d.gif
Okay, Team Two, we're up.
team
↓
4b7a3f88-50e2-4feb-9d58-bc2c024b5814.gif
Howie, you go first.
howie
↓
0eae8bed-cfff-4a72-852b-ea9b234e6322.gif
[sighs] All right.
sighs
↓
e12320d5-5005-448c-8ca5-21a242fe921b.gif
[groans]
groans
↓
29b9d93e-37a2-4cbe-b435-9ac8e2c5d728.gif
-This is a cool hat. -Okay, ready?
coolready
↓
590ef7ef-a03c-48ca-a2ad-079d125e083a.gif
-And... go. -All right, this guy
↓
6486ce33-6ee2-4738-89b6-6e12b77732d6.gif
ran with Thaddeus Finks.
↓
5eb0015e-7acd-4bc9-9ea1-0e61ca9d78bc.gif
He was one of the Eight Balls in Mookie Kramer and the Eight Balls.
ballseightkramer
↓
c77ed742-4818-4198-ab45-6e3bbb2f4643.gif
This doesn't sound like anything.
sound
↓
8054aa4e-0c51-4003-b50b-b16333cb2bdb.gif
He played the alto sax with the kink in it.
kinkplayed
↓
1553ea5e-4f9b-49c7-80b9-708aba84c9e6.gif
-I don't know. -Not sure.
↓
c5830c1a-373b-4c3f-b442-54b7dec07673.gif
Really? Okay, pass.
pass
↓
edf56dc7-8661-4805-870e-7ec7fb2c2c72.gif
Okay, this one's easy. He's got the freak lips,
easyfreaklipsones
↓
7d7a9880-db64-4203-a076-6e5ab87dcf8d.gif
he can hit the high C all night long.
night
↓
4379fc85-d094-4b83-aea6-dd51dae86a3d.gif
He was king of the tuk-tuk sound.
kingsound
↓
4389bfdd-6fc0-4f3e-80cf-1ee13850f02c.gif
Is this another jazz guy?
anotherjazz
↓
12e6dfe0-3846-4e92-934a-f49acdd7e4d0.gif
Laura, you know this.
laura
↓
9b15f7cb-751e-46e2-bc14-a381614c18c2.gif
-I need another hint. -I told you this guy's life story
anotherhintlifestory
↓
ecab9756-9946-4be2-a9d5-de11ba67b1c9.gif
that night we had dinner.
dinnernight
↓
2b6c01b5-eb56-4202-8bbf-d4be1f9fecde.gif
I took you to Chartreuse.
↓
6c114fbe-f525-47b8-a818-46cb31072e55.gif
It was the same dinner that you said you don't like any PDA.
dinner
↓
88147b4e-fb2e-4684-84dd-2c1dd35edacb.gif
I tried to give you those little kisses, and you said no PDA. Remember?
kissesremembertried
↓
88a31e05-56fe-416d-bc92-ed4b2a4abbd3.gif
I criticized you for being addicted to your phone,
addictedphone
↓
4cd177d9-f270-49eb-8f4b-fd27cee4c058.gif
and tried to make it up to you by buying you the entire dessert menu.
buyingdessertentiremenutried
↓
4e68373e-96c6-4cf3-9fd5-f0ed547bd265.gif
And she didn't even take a bite.
bite
↓
2294842b-7c27-49e8-9a95-16bbcbc5ea3e.gif
-Time. -Come on, guys!
↓
62e87cca-4a17-41c3-87ec-926b1e365ef4.gif
We didn't get one.
↓
153109b2-41e1-4b64-bc80-6182f64b8658.gif
Because they're supposed to be celebrities everyone knows.
celebritiesknowssupposed
↓
cec18a56-09c8-48b4-b973-92a85f028d94.gif
Oh, you mean like household names like Roy Donk,
householdnames
↓
94fcdc55-b879-406a-a257-dcc1c14756fd.gif
or Jack Marshall who wrote The Munsters' theme song?
jacksongthemetheme-songwrote
↓
9fc74523-e7cf-4dd4-a189-0173b64cda4e.gif
Roy Donk?
↓
8d3da1ae-7027-48c4-a611-261bcf199deb.gif
Okay, sweetie, I think you're just hungry.
hungrysweetie
↓
436ea7d6-e84c-422d-8640-e310c800af41.gif
-Eat some of your Arizona walnuts. -That's a good idea.
arizonaideawalnuts
↓
e6c8b93c-755d-40aa-9cfa-7ecaec993635.gif
Where be your nutcracker?
nutcracker
↓
63cb2b3b-6773-4df9-8156-672e7fd9cfee.gif
Uh, I mean, I think we have one in our Christmas stuff in the attic.
atticchristmasstuff
↓
45b7ae2f-ab65-482e-8654-e0adf707a1ac.gif
Oh, great. Well, that'll only take you a sec.
thatll
↓
d64ceb57-fe92-4049-8591-6eb9d2e0d014.gif
Okay.
↓
78c09d9f-8444-484f-8ab1-4ea23c0d624b.gif
-Yeah, I guess I'll go get that. -Thanks.
thanks
↓
1cc4b60c-cb64-46dd-a88e-699686bc32c5.gif
[groans]
groans
↓
56b3aaa7-5ec0-4a0f-a5a2-550e080773fd.gif
-All right, Team One, let's go. -Okay.
team
↓
1180effa-238d-4a2c-83cf-e0dcc7082f0f.gif
He's Iron Man.
iron
↓
7843aa9b-7073-405b-9d6f-e42fc9b2570e.gif
-Robert Downey Jr. -[woman] Yes. Okay...
robertwoman
↓
bfc5b56b-5bfe-4dba-aca1-d1da129d9b7a.gif
Oh, I think this one's Howie's.
ones
↓
cb4a09bb-6963-4a28-9f62-debecd4fa53d.gif
Yeah, I don't know what to do.
↓
87b9bffe-d4bd-4f9d-9fbd-302bf921e0ab.gif
Just do Charades.
↓
23a5ae06-1032-4600-966e-2a351eb49949.gif
Ooh!
↓
8dc9ab50-fa0d-4917-a9ec-71d60b57dd32.gif
Oh, I wish I could hear what she's playing, man. She's off the map.
playingwish
↓
8cd613df-b56f-4978-9d02-be5d537d7291.gif
Time.
↓
ae93dc42-58c0-4c31-b50d-6211b6aed71e.gif
-What was it? -Tiny "Boop Squig" Shorterly.
booptiny
↓
3cb39ba9-c686-47c9-818b-a896996189e6.gif
I mean, come on, is that even a celebrity?
celebrity
↓
2bb8c386-de9e-4b55-aebd-8af3c05fdde9.gif
He's no Roy Donk, but he was a regular guest on The Colgate Hour.
colgateguesthourregular
↓
5cedcc11-37ad-4059-9f96-8e572c04cc5c.gif
What's The Colgate Hour?
colgatehour
↓
6e879ed5-2145-4202-b0d2-77cdfec6365d.gif
Excuse me!
excuse
↓
1c0ecf11-dbf0-4900-b367-027400f8396e.gif
-Oh, my God. -What? I said, "Excuse me."
excuse
↓
620a76b7-b2db-4307-9e76-61c1cafd5e7f.gif
All right? We all do it.
↓
b61fec48-e1af-4105-bf1d-36cfba14eb2b.gif
Let's not make a big deal about it. It's embarrassing.
dealembarrassing
↓
6e3e0435-66fd-4271-919f-2c92b60d7d81.gif
-Here's your nutcracker, Howie. -Oh, thanks, but I changed my mind.
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Listen, I saw you had some gazpacho soup in your fridge.
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Can I have some gazpacho soup?
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[wearily] Yes, you can have some gazpacho soup.
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[Howie] All right, let's get back into it.
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[groans] Okay.
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It's my turn. My turn. Okay, let's see.
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Well, he was a frequent guest on The Colgate Comedy Hour.
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The radio program. Come on.
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-I don't know what The Colgate Hour is. -Okay, pass. Okay.
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I don't know if this will help you,
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but he was also a frequent guest on The Colgate Comedy Hour.
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He did panels with Paul Julian,
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the guy who did the voice of the Road Runner. "Beep-beep."
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Don't you remember how we listened to his whole album
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that one night I told you you'd never be a good writer
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-'cause you don't have a curious mind? -Time.
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-Damn it. -Who was it?
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Paul Bufano. Paul Bufano, how hard is that?
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Paul Bufano! Come on.
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Jeez! You don't remember that night
jeeznightremember
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we listened to the whole album Cafeteria Jangle?
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It's the night you gave me that Fitbit
night
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and I said I would get wrist cancer from it.
cancerwrist
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You said, "It's the cigars you smoke that's gonna give you cancer.
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It's the T-bone steaks you eat that are gonna give you cancer."
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You don't remember that?
remember
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[woman] Just have some gazpacho, Howie.
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[Howie] Oh, my gazpacho soup is here.
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[exclaims]
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-This gazpacho soup just burned my lips. -The gazpacho?
burnedgazpachogazpacho-souplipssoup
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Yeah, it's been sitting out. It warmed up.
sittingwarmed
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It warmed up so much that it burned your lip?
burnedwarmed
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Let me explain something to you. If you're expecting something ice cold,
coldexpectingexplain
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and you bring it up to your lips and it's room temp,
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it's going to feel like your mouth's on fire.
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It's gonna feel like your body's on fire.
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-No way, man -[Howie] You know what? I'm bored.
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This party's officially boring. I'm bored,
boredboringofficiallypartys
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and you people are very rude. Listen, let's get out of here.
rude
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All right? My buddy Ray, his parents are out of town.
buddyparentstown
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He's gonna let us use his basement for "if you know what I mean."
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You guys really embarrassed me in front of Howie.
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["Big Flame (Is Gonna Break My Heart In Two)" by Doris Wilson]
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