Home » It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia » S06E06 — Mac's Mom Burns Her House Down

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Season 6, Episode 6 — Mac's Mom Burns Her House Down

Dee, what are you doing?

#1

⇓

I got a tickle, a really bad one.

#2

⇓

Oh, shit. Are you getting sick? If you're getting sick, stay away from us.

#3

⇓

No, no, no. I can't be getting sick.

#4

⇓

I gotta be able to talk to Groban tomorrow.

#5

⇓

- Who? - Josh Groban. Artemis and I got

#6

⇓

backstage passes to his concert in the park tomorrow.

#7

⇓

Charles Grodin is coming in concert, and you didn't tell us?

#8

⇓

Aw! We love Charles Grodin. That dude is hysteri… I love that guy.

#9

⇓

He brings out the curmudgeon in me.

#10

⇓

No. Different guy. Josh Groban is who I'm talking about.

#11

⇓

Josh Groban. Oh. Is he Charles Grodin's son?

#12

⇓

He's probably funny. What do you think?

#13

⇓

If he's related to Charles Grodin, he is. Don't worry about that.

#14

⇓

Two totally different people.

#15

⇓

Charles Grodin is a bitter old man with a giant head,

#16

⇓

and Josh Groban is a beautiful singer with the voice of an angel.

#17

⇓

- Oh, he's a singer. - Call Charles Grodin

#18

⇓

a bitter old man one more time and see what happens!

#19

⇓

- Ooh, calm down. - All right. Sorry.

#20

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All right. No big deal. I got to go home anyway. I should rest.

#21

⇓

Stay aw… Come on.

#22

⇓

No. Don't come near me. Don't make me sick.

#23

⇓

All right. All right. Don't touch me with that.

#24

⇓

- Stop it. - Don't make me sick.

#25

⇓

- Get out. - Mom, Mom! Calm down! Calm down!

#26

⇓

Listen to me. Here's what you do.

#27

⇓

You close the curtains, and you mind your own business, right?

#28

⇓

No, they're not terrorists! They're just Muslims.

#29

⇓

Okay, well, I'm gonna hang up, okay? Hanging up.

#30

⇓

Unbelievable, dude. Ever since my Uncle Jack moved out, my mom's going crazy.

#31

⇓

She's like, "Help me with this. Help me with that.

#32

⇓

"Wash the floor. Wash the ceiling. Clean my car. Get this.

#33

⇓

"Fix that. Are there spiders here?"

#34

⇓

I'm sorry. The woman who brought you into the world and raised you needs you,

#35

⇓

and you're gonna ignore her?

#36

⇓

Dude, it's crazy shit. It's insane shit.

#37

⇓

And I can't be constantly taking care of her.

#38

⇓

I don't blame you, man. I'm very much looking forward

#39

⇓

to not taking care of anyone when I'm older.

#40

⇓

Well, what? What, you're not gonna take care of me when I'm old?

#41

⇓

Hell, no, I'm not gonna take care of you. You were a terrible father to me.

#42

⇓

I'll get Deandra to take care of me. She'll take care of me.

#43

⇓

Dee's not going to take care of you. You chased her out of here

#44

⇓

with a pool cue 'cause she had a little cough.

#45

⇓

Forget about it.

#46

⇓

- That's her. - Answer the phone, Charlie.

#47

⇓

I'm just gonna let it ring, 'cause it's crazy shit.

#48

⇓

Charlie, answer the goddamn phone!

#49

⇓

- It's not anything serious, Mac! - Just answer…

#50

⇓

What? Hello? What? What is it?

#51

⇓

Yeah.

#52

⇓

Oh, well, that is a serious thing.

#53

⇓

Okay. I'll let him know.

#54

⇓

Mac, your mom burned her house down.

#55

⇓

Hey-oh! Good news, Dennis. Mom's okay.

#56

⇓

She fell asleep with a lit cigarette in her mouth

#57

⇓

and burned the house down, but the good news is she's fine.

#58

⇓

Uh, oh, great. Yeah.

#59

⇓

- Where is she going to be staying? - Here, of course.

#60

⇓

- I'll stay in a shelter. - Hey, there's an idea! Shelter.

#61

⇓

Absolutely not.

#62

⇓

Okay. What about a nice nursing home?

#63

⇓

Nursing home? Do you have any idea what happens

#64

⇓

in those places, dude? Why don't I just rape her myself?

#65

⇓

Rape her? What are you talking about? What?

#66

⇓

Yo, got your dog.

#67

⇓

Poppins! Hey, buddy! How you doing?

#68

⇓

Poppins? My God, I can't believe that dog's not dead.

#69

⇓

Didn't you get him when you were, like, 10?

#70

⇓

Oh, yeah. This dog is indestructible, dude.

#71

⇓

Yeah, that dog's nasty, man.

#72

⇓

He was coughing the whole way over here. He ate cigarette butts off the ground.

#73

⇓

He's got a wheeze. He might have emphysema.

#74

⇓

That's possible. It wouldn't slow him down, though.

#75

⇓

He's a survivor. He would disappear for months,

#76

⇓

but he would always come home.

#77

⇓

It looks like his eye is falling out.

#78

⇓

- Oh, is it? When it just bulges? - Yeah. It bulges out a little bit there.

#79

⇓

Yeah. What you do is you just pop it back in with your knuckle.

#80

⇓

I'll show you how to do it. Yeah, it's really easy.

#81

⇓

- I'm never going to do that. - You're gonna touch his eye

#82

⇓

- with your knuckle? - You just sort of pop it back in.

#83

⇓

Oh. Hang on a second.

#84

⇓

What, Mom, what?

#85

⇓

I'm not gonna vacuum your ceiling.

#86

⇓

Um, because I already did it, okay?

#87

⇓

Plastic splinters are the same as… You won't get a splinter!

#88

⇓

I gotta deal with this. Mom is…

#89

⇓

- No, wait. Hold on a second. - It's back in, Dennis.

#90

⇓

- Check it out. - Yeah, I don't care.

#91

⇓

I have an idea that's gonna solve all of our problems here. I do.

#92

⇓

Your moms are gonna live together. Now hear me out. This is gonna be great.

#93

⇓

Okay, Mac, your mom burned down her house with a cigarette, right?

#94

⇓

Charlie, Uncle Jack moved out of your mom's house, so she's lonely.

#95

⇓

She's got no one to talk to. Boom. Mrs. Mac, your mom together.

#96

⇓

Could be the perfect situation. Come on.

#97

⇓

They could be like The Golden Girls.

#98

⇓

A couple of old ladies getting together, chasing men, eating cheesecake.

#99

⇓

- That'd be cool. - Sure. Whatever.

#100

⇓

I'm loving that idea, but mom's gonna be a tough sell.

#101

⇓

Uh-huh. I'll talk her into it.

#102

⇓

Oh, it popped back out.

#103

⇓

- What the hell are you doing? - What?

#104

⇓

- What the hell are you doing? - Oh, I went to the health food store.

#105

⇓

I just grabbed a whole bunch of shit. It's supposed to boost my immune system.

#106

⇓

I'm not gonna miss that show. I'm a Grobanite.

#107

⇓

Grobanites don't miss shows.

#108

⇓

Josh Groban comes to town, we consider it a call to action.

#109

⇓

What you're saying is very dorky.

#110

⇓

Nevertheless, I brought you some stuff,

#111

⇓

a little bit of care package here.

#112

⇓

- Why? - I want to make you well.

#113

⇓

I got you coffee, I got you some Mexican peanuts,

#114

⇓

I got you some candy.

#115

⇓

I got you a Stud magazine.

#116

⇓

What's your angle? What are you doing?

#117

⇓

Deandra. We have to take care of each other.

#118

⇓

I'm gonna take care of you now,

#119

⇓

but when I'm old and sick, you have to take care of me.

#120

⇓

What? No!

#121

⇓

No, I'm not doing that. Absolutely not. You're on your own.

#122

⇓

That…

#123

⇓

You okay? Yeah? No?

#124

⇓

It's down? It's going?

#125

⇓

It's going? Open up. Put your head back.

#126

⇓

Oh, God!

#127

⇓

Oh, God. I got it.

#128

⇓

All right. You should go relax.

#129

⇓

You should go rest now.

#130

⇓

Good. Look, I'm gonna do everything you need.

#131

⇓

Anything you need, I will do it.

#132

⇓

Just make believe I'm your slave.

#133

⇓

Okay. Do my laundry.

#134

⇓

- Done. - All right. I'm gonna go rest.

#135

⇓

- All right. - Don't bother me.

#136

⇓

No, no. I'm gonna be as quiet as a mouse.

#137

⇓

- You just rest, honey. - Uh-huh.

#138

⇓

Okay. All right.

#139

⇓

I know this is a lot to digest, and that's why I'm here.

#140

⇓

To act as an unbiased negotiator in the process

#141

⇓

and to sort out any problems or concerns.

#142

⇓

Essentially, just to make sure that you're both comfortable

#143

⇓

with this new arrangement.

#144

⇓

- I don't want to live with her. - Oh, Mom! Why not?

#145

⇓

- She smells. - I know she smells.

#146

⇓

Okay, you can't talk about my mom like that!

#147

⇓

You don't smell, and you look beautiful, okay?

#148

⇓

Okay. I think what Charlie's mom is trying to say

#149

⇓

is that Mrs. Mac has a unique and earthy fragrance.

#150

⇓

I smell like shit.

#151

⇓

Okay, Mom, don't put yourself down, okay? We talked about this.

#152

⇓

You don't. Perhaps we could get Mrs. Mac some perfume?

#153

⇓

Oh, yeah. That's not a bad idea. Mrs. Mac, what do you say?

#154

⇓

What better way to kick off this new relationship

#155

⇓

- than with a new fragrance? - Stop talking to me like I'm an asshole!

#156

⇓

- She can't smoke in here. - I know, Mom. Uh, smoking.

#157

⇓

Okay. Now, Mrs. Mac, I would never ask you to give up tobacco,

#158

⇓

but what if you were to switch to some sort of smokeless tobacco alternative?

#159

⇓

- I know that grunt. She's open to it. - Okay!

#160

⇓

So what do we say we do a little bit of a trial run tonight?

#161

⇓

Let's see what happens, and then we'll take it from there.

#162

⇓

Okay.

#163

⇓

- That means absolutely. - Okay!

#164

⇓

- Okay! - Great, great. So, last step,

#165

⇓

dog's tied up outside. I'll grab him, bring him inside,

#166

⇓

- and then I'll be on my way. - No dogs. Charlie, tell them.

#167

⇓

Okay. She is terrified of animals eating her face off.

#168

⇓

I don't want a dog to eat my face, Charlie!

#169

⇓

- She doesn't want a dog eating her face. - Well, you know what?

#170

⇓

That's not a problem. We'll take the dog, you and I.

#171

⇓

Oh, I think what Mac is trying to say is not that we'll take the dog…

#172

⇓

I'm saying exactly what I want to say.

#173

⇓

What Mac's trying to say now is that you're taking the dog.

#174

⇓

What Charlie's saying is correct. We're taking the dog.

#175

⇓

- We're not taking the dog. - You're taking the dog.

#176

⇓

It's not going to eat my mother's face off.

#177

⇓

It's coming home with us, Dennis, so just accept it, all right?

#178

⇓

All right, all right, all right! Fine.

#179

⇓

- We'll take the dog. - Calm down.

#180

⇓

Laundry's done!

#181

⇓

Uh, those white shorts on top?

#182

⇓

That's part of my outfit for tomorrow, so why don't you go run an iron over those?

#183

⇓

Ooh! Hey, very whitey white.

#184

⇓

- Uh, you're not ragging it, are you? - What?

#185

⇓

Gross, Frank! Come on. You still get periods?

#186

⇓

What are you doing? Stop asking me that. What? Gross! Come on.

#187

⇓

I'm trying to bond with you.

#188

⇓

That's how you bond with me asking if I still get periods?

#189

⇓

What's that stuff you're putting on? That's beautiful. What is it?

#190

⇓

Self-tanner, for tomorrow. Got to look good for Groban.

#191

⇓

The, uh, tan's gonna make the white in the outfit pop,

#192

⇓

the white's gonna make the tan pop.

#193

⇓

Josh Groban likes his ladies to pop, so…

#194

⇓

Hey, hey, hey, hey! Look who I brought. It's Poppins!

#195

⇓

Yeah.

#196

⇓

- That's Poppins? - Ooh, yeah!

#197

⇓

- He's still alive? - Oh, yeah, yeah.

#198

⇓

I figured he could keep you company while you're sick.

#199

⇓

- Dog looks like a gargoyle. - Yeah. He smells like piss.

#200

⇓

- Does it? Uh-oh. Is he dying? - No, no, no, he's fine.

#201

⇓

By the way, you're gonna want to keep him away from that cream, too,

#202

⇓

'cause he'll eat that shit. Yeah. He ate a whole bottle of shampoo

#203

⇓

at our apartment earlier. He loves shit like that.

#204

⇓

- Wow. Sounds great. - Yeah.

#205

⇓

- Thanks for bringing him over, yeah. - He's a great dog.

#206

⇓

- He's a great dog. - I'm gonna finish this up in my bedroom.

#207

⇓

Frank, why don't you make me another juice?

#208

⇓

'Cause I feel like that green stuff's really working.

#209

⇓

- You got it. - Great. So, you'll keep the dog here,

#210

⇓

and then, uh…

#211

⇓

What are you doing, Frank? What's going on here?

#212

⇓

Trying to score brownie points with your sister.

#213

⇓

I mean, I need somebody to take care of me when I'm old and sick.

#214

⇓

Jesus. You're still worried about that?

#215

⇓

Why don't you check yourself into a nursing home, Frank?

#216

⇓

- You have the money. - I'm not gonna put myself

#217

⇓

into one of those crypts.

#218

⇓

As soon as you drop the soap, they rape your butt.

#219

⇓

That's what happens. Mac told me.

#220

⇓

What in God's… You people have a very strange conception

#221

⇓

- of what goes on in nursing homes. - Frank, green juice, now!

#222

⇓

The bitch is driving me crazy!

#223

⇓

She's not even sick anymore.

#224

⇓

I support your plan, Frank, insofar as it insures

#225

⇓

that I won't have to take care of you when you get older,

#226

⇓

but you're going about this all wrong, honestly.

#227

⇓

- How do you mean? - Well, for one thing,

#228

⇓

she's in her apartment. She's comfortable here.

#229

⇓

She's on her home turf. She's got all of her amenities.

#230

⇓

She feels good here. She doesn't need you here.

#231

⇓

You need to thrust her into a hostile environment

#232

⇓

so that she needs you to protect her.

#233

⇓

- I should dump her under the bridge! - Dump her under the bri…

#234

⇓

No, don't dump her down by the bridge. What're you talking…

#235

⇓

No, you need to be there, Frank. That's the whole point of this.

#236

⇓

Just take her to your apartment, okay.

#237

⇓

Now, secondly, if this is gonna work,

#238

⇓

then she's gonna need to feel more than just a tickle in her throat.

#239

⇓

So, if she's not feeling sick, well,

#240

⇓

then we're just gonna have to make her feel sick.

#241

⇓

- You're good. - Yeah. Well, I'm a fixer, Frank.

#242

⇓

- You're good. - That's what I do.

#243

⇓

Dennis, listen. We should hang out more together.

#244

⇓

Yeah. Stop trying to bond with me.

#245

⇓

- They're not even talking to each other. - My mom's not very verbal.

#246

⇓

I know, but they haven't even touched their cheesecake.

#247

⇓

I mean, I feel like if you and I were in a room with a perfectly good cheesecake,

#248

⇓

all sorts of conversation would start happening.

#249

⇓

Oh, Charlie, the funniest thing happened today

#250

⇓

- when I was doing the laundry. - Mom, no, not me.

#251

⇓

You got to talk to her, okay? Don't talk to me.

#252

⇓

Yeah. Pretend like we're not even here, Mrs. Kelly, okay?

#253

⇓

- Go gossip. - About what?

#254

⇓

Maybe you were at a supermarket one time, and you met a cute guy,

#255

⇓

and you were feeling saucy,

#256

⇓

and then you wanted to go back and talk to your friend, Sophia.

#257

⇓

So you're like Blanche, and she's like Sophia. So, go ahead.

#258

⇓

I don't go to the supermarket. The shopping carts are dangerous.

#259

⇓

Shopping carts are not dangerous, Mom.

#260

⇓

There's nothing dangerous about a shopping cart!

#261

⇓

Let's try a new tack. Everybody, calm down. This isn't working.

#262

⇓

All right. TV's going off. Boom!

#263

⇓

Okay! That's good! You guys are roommates now,

#264

⇓

so maybe you can get to know one another.

#265

⇓

- I'm hot. - My mom's hot. I'm hot too.

#266

⇓

I got to be honest. I'm hot as well. Can we turn the fan on?

#267

⇓

Okay, well, the fan is broken. It hasn't worked for years.

#268

⇓

Oh! Oh, okay! That's good!

#269

⇓

My mom's very good with her hands. Maybe she can fix it.

#270

⇓

- Oh, yeah? - Mom was the manager at Jiffy Lube

#271

⇓

- for many years. - I never heard about this.

#272

⇓

Yeah, well, she doesn't like to brag. It's not her style.

#273

⇓

Yeah. But she started at the bottom,

#274

⇓

worked her way to the tippy top.

#275

⇓

There's only three people working at Jiffy Lube.

#276

⇓

It's not really a high climb.

#277

⇓

Okay. Well, please don't diminish my mother's achievements, okay?

#278

⇓

Don't get too excited about your mother's achievements.

#279

⇓

Okay. Could you… Mom, do you want to take a look at that fan

#280

⇓

and see if you can fix it?

#281

⇓

- What was that? - It means, "Not right now,

#282

⇓

"but there's a possibility that I could get to it tomorrow."

#283

⇓

See, the problem is, once that sun goes down,

#284

⇓

you're not gonna get this woman to do anything, 'cause she thrives on sunlight.

#285

⇓

She seems like she's never been in sunlight.

#286

⇓

- That's nasty. - Oh, Charlie, she's spitting

#287

⇓

- into my porcelain. - Okay, well, that makes you mad.

#288

⇓

Take it up with her! Have a conversation with her.

#289

⇓

Everybody, can we just, let's relax for a second.

#290

⇓

Maybe I can get you, like, a beer bottle. Would that be okay?

#291

⇓

An empty beer bottle to spit in?

#292

⇓

Yeah? Okay, having fun.

#293

⇓

* Thank you for being a friend *

#294

⇓

* Traveled down the road and back again *

#295

⇓

* The heart is true *

#296

⇓

You gotta stare at her.

#297

⇓

* You're a pal and a confidante *

#298

⇓

Don't look at me!

#299

⇓

* And if you threw a party *

#300

⇓

Turn your head.

#301

⇓

* And invited everyone you knew, ooh-hoo *

#302

⇓

* You would see the biggest gift would be from me *

#303

⇓

* And the card attached would say *

#304

⇓

Look at her!

#305

⇓

- She's zonked. - Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

#306

⇓

Now, when she wakes up, she'll be really, really cold,

#307

⇓

so you just give her this blanket. You know, give her some more juice, you know.

#308

⇓

- Just be a dad to her. - Oh, this is so boring. This is bullshit.

#309

⇓

I mean, God,

#310

⇓

I mean, how long do I have to do this for?

#311

⇓

We've been here for, like, an hour, Frank. You're the worst dad.

#312

⇓

Groban!

#313

⇓

- Ooh. She's up. - I'll come find you.

#314

⇓

Okay. Daddy's here. Take it easy, honey.

#315

⇓

Okay, honey, don't get up. Stay right where you are.

#316

⇓

- Gotta go to the show. - Don't go by the knives.

#317

⇓

- Let me backstage. - She thinks she's going backstage.

#318

⇓

You sing so good.

#319

⇓

Honey, you want a blankie? I swaddle you, baby.

#320

⇓

- I'll get to you. - No, no, tomorrow night.

#321

⇓

- That's not tonight. - You sing in my ears.

#322

⇓

- I love you when you sing. - Where she's going?

#323

⇓

- She thinks she's going to the concert? - I don't know. She's walking.

#324

⇓

- She's in a zombie state. - She's going to bounce off all the walls.

#325

⇓

I've never seen anything like this. It's incredible.

#326

⇓

She's going outside. She's going outside.

#327

⇓

Ooh, she's going to hit the skateboard.

#328

⇓

Ooh.

#329

⇓

- Wow. Did you see that? - She's like Mr. Magoo.

#330

⇓

- Ooh. - Oh.

#331

⇓

Magoo never made that mistake.

#332

⇓

One, two, three.

#333

⇓

Good night, honey. Good night, Mac.

#334

⇓

One, two, three. One, two, three.

#335

⇓

One, two, three. One, two, three.

#336

⇓

One, two, three. One, two, three.

#337

⇓

- Mrs. Kelly? - Yes?

#338

⇓

Why are you doing everything in threes?

#339

⇓

Oh. So Charlie doesn't die.

#340

⇓

- What? - One, two, three.

#341

⇓

One, two, three.

#342

⇓

- That's crazy. - Bat-shit crazy.

#343

⇓

I don't know, dude. What do ya want me to say?

#344

⇓

- The woman's out of her damn mind. - Hey! Get the hell…

#345

⇓

- Is she waking up my mom? - No! No, Mom!

#346

⇓

No. No. My mom does not like to be woken up, Mrs. Kelly!

#347

⇓

- Shit! Get out of my room. - Oh! Just one more. One more.

#348

⇓

- One, two, three. - Get out of here, God damn it!

#349

⇓

- Whoa. Whoa. - Mom, go to bed!

#350

⇓

Oh, man, that was close. Now you see where I get my temper, huh?

#351

⇓

Yeah, one, two, three. One, two, three. Huh.

#352

⇓

- What are you doing? - Huh?

#353

⇓

- What was that? - Ah, you know, just playing it safe.

#354

⇓

She's been doing it. I'm still alive. Can't be crazy.

#355

⇓

- Yeah, no, that's very crazy. - One, two, three. One, two, three.

#356

⇓

- It does feel good to do stuff in threes. - Okay, you know what?

#357

⇓

I'm pulling the plug on this whole thing, all right?

#358

⇓

- Cause this and this, this has gotta stop. - Yeah. You're right. Yeah.

#359

⇓

Tomorrow morning, I'm getting my mom out of here. Let's go to bed.

#360

⇓

- Yeah. This has not been a good situation. - Let's go to bed.

#361

⇓

- This one look off to you? One, two, three - No, it's fine. It's fine.

#362

⇓

Hey, guys. We got some bagels and coffee. One, two, three. One, two, three.

#363

⇓

What do you think that's accomplishing?

#364

⇓

Here you go.

#365

⇓

Oh, Mom.

#366

⇓

Where's your chewing tobacco? You know Mrs. Kelly doesn't like the smoke.

#367

⇓

Oh, the ceiling fan is gonna push all the smoke outside the windows.

#368

⇓

Oh, yeah? Oh, she's fixing the fan?

#369

⇓

See? I told you, dude. My mom is very handy.

#370

⇓

Oh. The Muslims are back.

#371

⇓

Where do you think they're coming and going from?

#372

⇓

Damn foreigners! They ain't American,

#373

⇓

I don't want to know 'em.

#374

⇓

I know. I wish they'd all go back to the desert.

#375

⇓

- Yeah! - So it does seem like

#376

⇓

- they're bonding, right? - Yeah. It's not really

#377

⇓

a Golden Girls-type conversation. It's, like, a racist conversation, but…

#378

⇓

Where the hell is my damn screwdriver?

#379

⇓

I'm wiping all the germs off for you.

#380

⇓

Quit cleaning my damn tools, and sit your ass down! Huh!

#381

⇓

Shit, dude.

#382

⇓

We might want to even consider bringing Poppins back into this mix.

#383

⇓

It does seem to be working.

#384

⇓

- Like it? - Ooh!

#385

⇓

Yes, I do. Please don't hit me. I have sensitive skin.

#386

⇓

Let's just find the dog, and we'll talk about it there.

#387

⇓

Okay. All right. Let's just let them be, though, huh?

#388

⇓

Good morning, sleepyhead.

#389

⇓

- What? - Yeah, you're all tied up.

#390

⇓

- It's for your own safety. - Yeah, you took a dinger down the stairs.

#391

⇓

- Ooh, big time. - You guys untie me right now!

#392

⇓

Okay, I'll untie you if you promise to remember

#393

⇓

- that I took care of you good. - Yeah. Remember that,

#394

⇓

'cause Frank took really good care of you,

#395

⇓

- so you're gonna have to take care of him. - What are you talking about?

#396

⇓

I feel way worse now than I ever did.

#397

⇓

What is going on with my face?

#398

⇓

- It's the bedbugs. - Oh!

#399

⇓

But that'll last a little while, but it'll go away eventually.

#400

⇓

Get that dog off me! The dog stinks!

#401

⇓

- Get the dog off me! - Fair enough, fair enough.

#402

⇓

- Poppins, let's go. - Come on, dog. Hop up, Hop up!

#403

⇓

- Hop up, Poppins. Come on. - Oh, whoa.

#404

⇓

Oh, I think Poppins got into the juice.

#405

⇓

- What? - Oh, no.

#406

⇓

- What juice? - Oh. He's ice-cold.

#407

⇓

- He's dead? Poppins is dead? - Yes! He's dead!

#408

⇓

- Why would he be dead from the juice? - We killed Poppins? Oh, shit!

#409

⇓

Oh, my God. Mac's going to have a fit, dude.

#410

⇓

I drank a lot of that juice. I remember that very clearly!

#411

⇓

I have an idea, Frank. I have an idea. Fixer's always got a fix, right?

#412

⇓

- Yeah, what? What are you gonna… - This is gonna work. This is a good idea.

#413

⇓

- Grab Poppins. Let's go. Come on. - Take the dog?

#414

⇓

- Grab the dog! - Wait. What was in the juice?

#415

⇓

- Okay, hold on. Before you go, untie me. - All right. You stay right there.

#416

⇓

- You stay right there, Deandra. - Just real quick, you guys.

#417

⇓

No. I don't want to stay here. You guys, I got Groban in the park.

#418

⇓

- I got a dead dog over here. - I got Groban in the park! Untie me!

#419

⇓

What was in the juice?

#420

⇓

- One, two, three. - One, two, three.

#421

⇓

Charlie, I think you're right, dude. I feel better about this.

#422

⇓

- More in control. Yeah. - Yeah. It's… Uh-hmm.

#423

⇓

- Yo, what's happening? - What's happening, guys?

#424

⇓

Hey, I was just… We were hanging out, uh, in the alley, going for some air.

#425

⇓

- What's going on? - Yeah. What are you guys doing?

#426

⇓

Cool. We're actually looking for Poppins.

#427

⇓

Yeah, we're going to bring him back over to Charlie's mom's house.

#428

⇓

- They're going to live together. - Oh, Poppins?

#429

⇓

- What happened to Poppins? - He… Uh…

#430

⇓

You saw him. Yeah, might've been…

#431

⇓

- Why are you guys acting so weird? - Yeah.

#432

⇓

Why are you… Why are you looking at that trash can?

#433

⇓

Uh, nothing special about it. I don't know.

#434

⇓

- What was in that trash bag? - Poppins.

#435

⇓

- What? - Well, he ate a lot of cold medicine,

#436

⇓

- and he croaked. I'm sorry. - Yeah, he got into some cold medicine.

#437

⇓

- Sorry. - So you threw him in the trash?

#438

⇓

What are you gonna do, send him to the moon?

#439

⇓

- Right. I mean, come on. - No, I want to have

#440

⇓

- a proper burial for him. - That seemed proper enough

#441

⇓

- for Poppins, you know? - Oh, no. He's fine.

#442

⇓

- What? - He's fine?

#443

⇓

Yeah, he's just in here chowing down on a diaper.

#444

⇓

Hey! Look at him.

#445

⇓

Look at that dog was…

#446

⇓

Come on. Hey, good boy.

#447

⇓

That dog just does not die.

#448

⇓

- No, he does not. - Wow.

#449

⇓

- Oh, there he goes. - Ah. Yeah.

#450

⇓

Don't worry, guys. He will be back.

#451

⇓

Yeah, well, let's hope not.

#452

⇓

Bon voyage, Poppins!

#453

⇓

Have a good trip.

#454

⇓

- Back to the bar, or what? - Yeah.

#455

⇓

- Yeah, sure. - Let's grab a drink.

#456

⇓

Yo, Frank, it's Artemis. Have you seen Dee?

#457

⇓

I'm backstage with Groban, and the party is pumpin'.

#458

⇓

- Look, if you see that "bee-yatch…" - No. I'm here.

#459

⇓

…tell her to get her ass down here,

#460

⇓

'cause Groban's feeling frisky, and somebody's gotta tap that ass.

#461

⇓

- Suck you later. - No. No. No.

#462

⇓

No! No! Groban!

#463

⇓

No!

#464

⇓