Giffer
Gallery
Login
Home
»
Scrubs
» S01E11 — My Own Personal Jesus
Scrubs
Combine Images
Clear
❮
✕
❯
Season 1, Episode 11 — My Own Personal Jesus
[J.D.] Ah, Christmas Eve.
#1
⇓
Are you aware that you're in everyone's way?
#4
⇓
Everyone's way?
#5
⇓
Or your way? Think about it.
#6
⇓
Think about it, huh? I'll think about it.
#7
⇓
- Carla, what time is it? - I don't know
#10
⇓
but I'm guessing it's about 9.15ish.
#11
⇓
Oh, this thing!
#12
⇓
- Who put this up? - [Janitor] I did.
#13
⇓
I drove round the whole city before my 5 a.m. shift,
#14
⇓
just looking for that.
#15
⇓
Trying to add a little cheer.
#16
⇓
You will not ruin my Christmas.
#17
⇓
Not again.
#18
⇓
Not this year.
#19
⇓
I've only worked here for three months.
#20
⇓
I understand that you took a cab all the way here.
#22
⇓
But I can't give you Vicodin because your teeth are itchy.
#23
⇓
Dr. Kelso?
#24
⇓
You know, I don't want to sound insensitive,
#25
⇓
but why don't these people have any money?
#26
⇓
I don't know, sir, they probably waste it all on food.
#27
⇓
Dr. Kelso, I need you to precept a patient.
#28
⇓
19-year-old with abdominal pain. Turns out she's about eight months pregnant.
#29
⇓
I'll let the family practice people handle it.
#30
⇓
That's a wonderful idea, except I heard your smart-aleck remark
#31
⇓
so why don't you just keep your little pregnant girl?
#32
⇓
It'll be good practice for you as you'll probably end up in a female specialty anyway.
#33
⇓
Oh, what do you mean by that? I'm internal medicine.
#34
⇓
Well, of course you are.
#35
⇓
But numbers don't lie and most women end up in OB-GYN, family practice or pediatrics.
#36
⇓
It's like a riptide, sweetheart, pulling and pulling,
#37
⇓
and you can swim against the current all you want.
#38
⇓
But when Mr. Stork comes a-calling,
#39
⇓
you're not gonna be thinking, "I'm internal medicine."
#40
⇓
It's gonna be, "Ohhh! Look at the baby!"
#41
⇓
Sir, I have to say, I'm offended.
#42
⇓
Oh, no. Now I have to go buy flowers to make it right.
#43
⇓
♪ I'm no Superman ♪
#46
⇓
Newbie, stay.
#47
⇓
Oh, what a good boy you are.
#48
⇓
Dear God, Judy, how much product do you use?
#49
⇓
None. It's like this when I wake up.
#50
⇓
Yeah, quick tip, there, sports star.
#51
⇓
When you're defensive about your feminine side,
#52
⇓
it just makes you seem more girly.
#53
⇓
- You want something? - Easy.
#54
⇓
Nobody likes a cranky punching bag.
#55
⇓
And yes, it's about a patient. Pretty good friend of mine.
#56
⇓
Huh!
#58
⇓
Randy, Jackie, what do you say?
#59
⇓
This is the monkey I got to videotape the birth.
#60
⇓
I hate him.
#61
⇓
['50s rock'n'roll piano]
#66
⇓
Hey, everybody!
#67
⇓
Heyyy.
#68
⇓
I'm sorry, it's been two weeks,
#69
⇓
and your son shows no neurological improvement.
#70
⇓
[groan]
#71
⇓
It was a miracle! First of all, the man was damn near dead.
#72
⇓
- Then he comes out. - You're ridiculous.
#73
⇓
I'm telling you it was a miracle.
#74
⇓
- It was not a miracle. - Yes, it was. Dude...
#75
⇓
I kind of envy Turk.
#76
⇓
So you think God was responsible for his recovery?
#79
⇓
- Uh-huh. - That's fine.
#80
⇓
We all have our beliefs.
#81
⇓
I carry around this tiny little Monopoly piece for good luck.
#82
⇓
Did you just compare my Lord and Savior to a tiny top hat?
#83
⇓
He did, I heard him, baby. Go get him.
#84
⇓
Excuse me, Nurse Teresa.
#85
⇓
Have you ever read the Bible?
#86
⇓
I started it.
#87
⇓
Then I skipped to the end and it ruined it for me.
#88
⇓
That's it. Both of you to the window.
#89
⇓
- Let's go. Right now. - [Carla] I'm going.
#90
⇓
[Turk] "When they saw the star,
#91
⇓
they rejoiced with exceeding great joy."
#92
⇓
Matthew, 2:10.
#93
⇓
Dude, that's just a Christmas tree in the park.
#94
⇓
I understand what you're saying, baby.
#95
⇓
Oh, no, please. You can't just jump back on my good side.
#96
⇓
You see all of this right here?
#97
⇓
And this?
#98
⇓
And this?
#99
⇓
Consider yourself cut off.
#100
⇓
Full love embargo, baby.
#101
⇓
- That's not gonna last. - It will last.
#102
⇓
- Oh, yeah? - It's gonna last.
#103
⇓
What if I came up to you, all tired,
#104
⇓
and I just... I had to yawn...?
#105
⇓
Damn!
#106
⇓
- How pathetic is that? - Do it again.
#107
⇓
Please.
#108
⇓
Oh, this is from last night.
#109
⇓
The Christmas tree over at Miller Park.
#110
⇓
God, I love that tree. It's so beautiful, isn't it?
#111
⇓
- I've been there almost... - Listen, Meredith.
#112
⇓
You're pregnant. Pretty far along, actually.
#113
⇓
What? That's not possible.
#114
⇓
What am I supposed to do?
#115
⇓
"Ohhh! Look at the baby!"
#116
⇓
Um, babies aren't really my thing,
#117
⇓
so I'm just gonna go get you someone else to talk to.
#118
⇓
Oh, come on, it's great to see you guys again.
#119
⇓
Really, all three of you.
#120
⇓
What is it with friends wanting to be in your life?
#121
⇓
Selfish is what it is.
#122
⇓
I thought I got Randy and Jackie in the divorce.
#123
⇓
Banana hammock!
#126
⇓
I'm betting your ability to thrive under pressure is what drove you to medicine.
#127
⇓
You should have seen him when he was a new intern.
#128
⇓
"I. Don't. Want. To. Be. A. Doctor."
#129
⇓
You know, I think we all know that's just not true.
#130
⇓
I'm assuming, since you already took everything else,
#131
⇓
that you're here for my self-respect,
#132
⇓
but there's bad news on that one, sweetcheeks.
#133
⇓
I already gave it to your mom when she begged me to marry you.
#134
⇓
I wouldn't have room for it,
#135
⇓
what with your testicles in my trophy case.
#136
⇓
Holy cow.
#137
⇓
Who's better? You got me by the short hairs.
#138
⇓
See ya.
#139
⇓
What do you hate most about the holidays?
#140
⇓
- Wrapping presents. You? - My family.
#141
⇓
I don't know how anyone can get in the spirit around here.
#142
⇓
Come on, guys. All the spirit you need is right here.
#143
⇓
Can I get a amen?
#144
⇓
Congregation, I said, can I get a amen?
#146
⇓
[all] Amen!
#147
⇓
'Tis the season of givin', y'all.
#148
⇓
What better place to give than right here at Sacred Heart?
#149
⇓
[all] Yeah, that's right.
#150
⇓
Lovest thou me,
#151
⇓
then feed my sheep!
#152
⇓
That's right.
#153
⇓
Right here, at Sacred Heart,
#154
⇓
we are not only gonna feed his sheep...
#155
⇓
[woman] Woo! That's right.
#156
⇓
...but we gonna clothe them.
#157
⇓
- And we gonna bathe them. - [all] Bathe them!
#158
⇓
And we gonna cut 'em open.
#159
⇓
Then we gonna stitch 'em right back together.
#160
⇓
[Turk] Because that's what
#161
⇓
Christmaaaaas....
#162
⇓
...is all about.
#163
⇓
That's right! Preach, preach!
#164
⇓
What's the name of the song we're singing today?
#165
⇓
♪ Let us adore! ♪
#169
⇓
♪ Let us adore! ♪
#170
⇓
♪ Let us adore! ♪
#171
⇓
♪ Let us adore! ♪
#172
⇓
♪ Let us adore! ♪
#173
⇓
♪ Let us adore! ♪
#174
⇓
♪ Let us adore! ♪
#175
⇓
♪ Let us adore! ♪
#176
⇓
♪ Let us adore! ♪
#177
⇓
♪ Let us adore! ♪
#178
⇓
♪ Let us adore! ♪
#179
⇓
♪ [choir] Christ the Lord ♪
#181
⇓
Right, listen.
#183
⇓
I'm on call tonight.
#184
⇓
But tomorrow morning, when I get home,
#185
⇓
we're going to Mass before work, okay?
#186
⇓
Okay, sweetie.
#187
⇓
Ooh, hey, candy!
#189
⇓
I was trying to, uh...
#190
⇓
I know exactly what you're trying to do, but...
#191
⇓
you're not gonna break my Christmas spirit. You can't.
#192
⇓
Not ever. I'm the Holly Jolly Janitor.
#193
⇓
Hi, little girl. What do you want for...?
#194
⇓
[groans]
#195
⇓
I know you must be busy.
#196
⇓
It's really nice of you to offer to do this.
#197
⇓
Oh, it's no problem.
#198
⇓
Hi, doctor.
#203
⇓
You'll fart, pee, puke and poop
#204
⇓
in front of ten complete strangers
#205
⇓
who'll be staring intently at your vagina,
#206
⇓
which, by the way, has an 80% chance of tearing.
#207
⇓
You do it.
#208
⇓
[baby cries]
#211
⇓
Oh! Look at the baby!
#212
⇓
It's a bouncing baby boy.
#213
⇓
Yet another soldier in the fight against Communism!
#214
⇓
[1950s music]
#215
⇓
Where's the girl that was in here?
#216
⇓
I just make beds.
#217
⇓
I got Meredith Fox's blood work back. She's got HELLP syndrome.
#218
⇓
She needs to deliver immediately so let's get...
#219
⇓
What do you mean she just left?
#220
⇓
Get me any contact numbers.
#221
⇓
- Why did she leave? - Again.
#222
⇓
Bed-maker.
#223
⇓
Newbie, I always punch the tabs out of my tapes
#224
⇓
so there's no possible way they can be recorded over.
#225
⇓
So, puh-lease tell me
#226
⇓
you didn't use the tape that was already in the camera.
#227
⇓
Banana hammock.
#228
⇓
So, in other words,
#229
⇓
there is no permanent historical record
#230
⇓
of the birth of my friend's baby?
#231
⇓
Well, I-I think that the baby itself
#232
⇓
would serve as proof that it was, you know...
#233
⇓
...born.
#234
⇓
You don't understand what you've done.
#235
⇓
My ex-wife is gonna hold this over my head for so long
#236
⇓
that I doubt I'll ever see the sun again.
#237
⇓
And I liked the sun, newbie.
#238
⇓
It made me hopeful.
#239
⇓
Well, I was there.
#240
⇓
I could certainly jot down some of my...
#241
⇓
...feelings and impressions.
#242
⇓
If he was really mad at me,
#243
⇓
No, do not do that again.
#246
⇓
That's a bad newbie.
#247
⇓
Oh, bad. Oh, bad.
#248
⇓
Bad.
#249
⇓
I can't believe I'm wearing a suit at 6.30 in the morning.
#255
⇓
If you ruin this for Turk, I'll hurt you.
#256
⇓
Noted.
#257
⇓
Hey. You better hurry up.
#258
⇓
Mass starts in 15 minutes.
#259
⇓
- I'm not going. - Great. Can I go back to bed?
#260
⇓
I'm kidding. Let's do it. I wanna get me some of them church crackers.
#261
⇓
No, I'm not going.
#262
⇓
Ever.
#263
⇓
Baby, what happened?
#264
⇓
Turk? Turk, come on...
#265
⇓
Merry Christmas.
#266
⇓
You're overreacting.
#267
⇓
A girl said, "What am I gonna do?"
#268
⇓
and I said, "Babies aren't my thing."
#269
⇓
How could I possibly be too hard on myself?
#270
⇓
Look, I'm sure she'll turn up.
#272
⇓
That's exactly what's gonna happen. She'll turn up,
#273
⇓
she'll have a healthy baby and nothing'll ever happen to either one of them.
#274
⇓
I could use a little faith.
#278
⇓
You made some interesting choices with the camera, Orson.
#280
⇓
- You didn't want any faces? - Excuse me?
#281
⇓
I switched the tapes. Just go with it.
#282
⇓
Here it comes, I see the head!
#283
⇓
- What a gorgeous head of hair. - That's funny.
#284
⇓
He was completely bald when he was in here a few minutes ago.
#285
⇓
- Yeah, well... - We shaved the baby.
#286
⇓
- You shaved the baby? - Shaved it.
#287
⇓
Standard procedure. What with the recent outbreak of pre-natal lice.
#288
⇓
Yep. Definitely.
#289
⇓
Shave and haircut.
#290
⇓
Two bits.
#291
⇓
Really?
#292
⇓
Yeah. I'm not buying it.
#293
⇓
You two are gonna go by the nursery and see baby Charlie?
#294
⇓
- Absolutely. - Yes.
#295
⇓
Charlie and his new haircut.
#296
⇓
Have we checked the other hospitals?
#297
⇓
They haven't seen her, honey.
#298
⇓
Dr. Reid, isn't this your day off?
#299
⇓
It's that pregnant girl...
#300
⇓
Oh, right. The one who went missing.
#301
⇓
And now you're here, voluntarily,
#302
⇓
hell bent on finding one of your little lost ducklings.
#303
⇓
Dr. Kelso, it's important you understand something.
#304
⇓
I'm not interested in babies.
#305
⇓
I don't coo around them, I don't melt when I see them,
#306
⇓
I don't have a yearning to make them my life's work.
#307
⇓
I'm a doctor who's interested in my patients, male or female.
#308
⇓
And right now, one of them needs help.
#309
⇓
God! Do I know women.
#310
⇓
I don't get it. Why are we on the roof?
#311
⇓
I wanted to show you that no matter how ugly things can get down there,
#312
⇓
there's still a lot of beauty up here.
#313
⇓
Is that... gum or pigeon crap on my sneaker?
#314
⇓
Come on, look around.
#315
⇓
There's nobody here, no one can see us.
#316
⇓
We could do whatever we wanted.
#317
⇓
Like what?
#318
⇓
Okay, how are you not getting this?
#319
⇓
Oh, you mean have relations.
#320
⇓
You wanna have relations right here on the roof.
#321
⇓
These pebbles are gonna make my ass look like a chocolate chocolate chip.
#322
⇓
I can make you see God again, or at least call out his name.
#323
⇓
Is this a joke to you?
#324
⇓
No, I'm just trying to help you feel better.
#325
⇓
- You don't know how I feel. - Well, then tell me.
#326
⇓
I feel abandoned!
#327
⇓
All my life, I've believed that God listens to our prayers,
#328
⇓
and that he cares for us and that he watches over us.
#329
⇓
Last night, so many people needed to be watched over.
#330
⇓
How am I supposed to believe in someone that's gonna let innocent people suffer?
#331
⇓
Huh? Answer me, please.
#332
⇓
I can't.
#333
⇓
Did you see baby Charlie yet?
#334
⇓
Oh, yeah, I was just planning on doing that. Never.
#335
⇓
You're such a special friend.
#336
⇓
Oh, gosh, Marjorie, aren't you sassy today?
#337
⇓
Did Santa finally bring you that Y chromosome you always wanted?
#338
⇓
What's your problem, anyway?
#339
⇓
Well, for starters, I hate Christmas.
#340
⇓
I don't like bambersnoodles, I loathe dinkerwallows,
#341
⇓
I hate snagtumgopers,
#342
⇓
I say, do you follow?
#343
⇓
Do you think I'm a moron?
#344
⇓
Newbie, don't answer that question.
#345
⇓
- It's a trick, that's a trick. - Oh, pre-natal lice?
#346
⇓
You do realize that would be lice in the womb?
#347
⇓
I've seen them, they're real and they're gross.
#348
⇓
Whatever it was, I told on him.
#350
⇓
Plus, he didn't even go see baby Charlie yet.
#351
⇓
was suddenly focused on me.
#354
⇓
Excuse me, Sally Sensitive, I don't remember asking you anything.
#355
⇓
Your mom's aware she'll eventually have to stop breast-feeding, right?
#356
⇓
Hoo! Good Jordan, good.
#357
⇓
Now work the body, work the body, under the ribs.
#358
⇓
I'm not gonna see that baby either.
#359
⇓
Are you gonna tattle on me? Are you? Are you?
#360
⇓
- I'm frightened. - J.D., do you have a second?
#361
⇓
- Oh, God, yes. - That's right. Run away.
#362
⇓
I spoke to a 911 operator who got a call from a girl in labor,
#363
⇓
but they lost the signal. I don't know what to do.
#364
⇓
You'll be okay. Okay?
#367
⇓
You'll be okay.
#368
⇓
Babies are amazing.
#369
⇓
So, baby Charlie is the bald one?
#371
⇓
Yeah. He wouldn't be smiling so much if he knew how ugly his parents were.
#372
⇓
- You're a sexy bitch. - Thanks.
#373
⇓
What up, little dawg?
#375
⇓
you didn't even know was there.
#377
⇓
Ohh! Look at the baby!
#378
⇓
How did you know she was here?
#380
⇓
I don't know, I just knew.
#381
⇓
Miracles do happen.
#383
⇓
[Turk] Merry Christmas, guys.
#385
⇓
God bless us, every one.
#386
⇓
Dude, you could not be a bigger dork.
#387
⇓
You're so lame.
#388
⇓
That was so cheesy.
#389
⇓
Really? 'Cause I felt like it was... right.
#390
⇓
Hey, wait up!
#391
⇓
Combine Images
Clear Selection
Combined Images
