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Home » It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia » S10E05 — The Gang Spies Like U.S.

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Season 10, Episode 5 — The Gang Spies Like U.S.

TMDB episode metadata

Show: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Episode title: The Gang Spies Like U.S.

Air date: February 11, 2015

Director: Matt Shakman

Top billed cast: Charlie Day, Glenn Howerton, Rob Mac, Kaitlin Olson, Danny DeVito

Dennis and Mac enlist Dee to spy on the fish factory across the street, Charlie and Frank grow suspicious and decide to do some spying of their own.

Source: TMDB

↓

That's what's good about a beer.

beer

↓

- Yeah, it's good. - It just keeps cycling through you...

keeps

↓

Guys, guys! We got news.

news

↓

- We've got terrible news. - Yeah.

news

↓

- What do you got? - What do you got?

↓

You know that Chinese fish factory across the street?

chinese factory fish fish-factory street

↓

The one with the horrible smell?

horrible smell

↓

Yeah. Of course. Disgusting.

course disgusting

↓

They've installed security cameras pointed directly at Paddy's.

cameras directly installed paddys pointed security security-cameras

↓

- What? - They're pointing them at us?

pointing

↓

- They can't do that. - That's bullshit!

bullshit

↓

Are they spying on us?

spying

↓

Yes, dude, I think they're spying on us, and you know what else?

spying

↓

They bought the building next door and they are expanding like crazy.

bought building crazy door expanding

↓

I'm telling you, it is only a matter of time before the Chinese take us over.

chinese matter telling

↓

Oh, they've always been very secretive for a fish factory.

factory fish fish-factory

↓

And do you ever feel like maybe they're using that fish smell

fish smell using

↓

to cover up maybe some other mysterious smell?

cover mysterious smell

↓

It is an incredibly strong smell.

incredibly smell strong

↓

- It's turned me off of fish. - Me, too!

fish turned

↓

That's so bad. I'm off of fish.

fish

↓

And I used to eat so much fish, guys, I mean...

fish used

↓

'Cause fish has all the good fatty acids, right?

fatty fish

↓

A good, solid fish?

fish solid

↓

Protein, omega numbers...

numbers omega protein

↓

So many omegas, threes, fours and fives.

fives fours threes

↓

- Melts in your mouth. - You get to eat all your scales.

melts mouth scales

↓

- No, you don't eat the scales. - You don't get scales

scales

↓

unless it's a fish or a reptile.

fish

↓

- Don't eat reptiles. - Not all reptiles, just the good ones.

ones reptiles

↓

Okay, guys, we got a plan. Dee, come with us.

plan

↓

- Yeah. - You're gonna help us gather intel.

gather intel

↓

- Let's do it, come on. - There she goes.

↓

All right, and then, uh, what do Frank and I do?

frank

↓

Well, you guys just hang back, do your thing.

hang

↓

Don't eat reptiles and just hang out.

hang reptiles

↓

- What? - What, you're going with Dee over us?

↓

- Right. - Yeah.

↓

Is this 'cause you guys have been living at her place ever since your fire?

fire living place

↓

You know what I mean? I feel like you burn your place down,

burn place

↓

you move into Dee's, and now you're, like, getting all buddy-buddy...

buddy dees

↓

Yeah, chummy-chummy.

↓

Yeah, I guess so. You know, if you need.

↓

That's crazy! Dee over us?

crazy

↓

You can't count on her.

count

↓

You're completely unreliable, Dee, really.

completely

↓

You're, like, all gangly and uncoordinated.

↓

And she's constantly gonna back-sass you.

constantly sass

↓

- Oh, she'll argue with everything you say. - You know, it's bullshit.

argue bullshit shell

↓

No, you know what's bullshit?

bullshit

↓

Me getting boxed out all the time.

boxed

↓

And these guys have finally realized, by living with me,

finally living realized

↓

that old Dee is pretty cool after all, and pretty funny, too.

cool funny

↓

So maybe I shouldn't be the butt of everybody's jokes anymore.

anymore butt everybodys jokes

↓

Let's... Let's not get crazy, Dee.

crazy

↓

Yeah, you're always gonna be the butt of our jokes.

butt jokes

↓

Whatever, let's roll. That's okay, let's go.

roll

↓

- All right. - Yeah, uh, just hang.

hang

↓

- Uh, we're good. - Huh?

↓

- What the hell was that? - Something stinks here, Charlie,

charlie stinks

↓

and it ain't just the fish.

aint fish

↓

Dude, the other day, I was trying to get in the back office...

office

↓

- Yeah? - Dennis had the door locked.

dennis door door-locked locked

↓

Mac locked the door, too!

door locked

↓

- What is that? - Who locks the office door?

door locks office

↓

I feel like they're always sneaking around now,

sneaking

↓

and they're nervous.

nervous

↓

Something big is definitely going down.

↓

I got a plan. How about you and I spy on that Chinese factory?

chinese factory plan

↓

I trust the Chinese as far as I could throw their factory.

chinese factory throw trust

↓

- Mmm-hmm. - But the real threat isn't abroad,

abroad real threat

↓

it's right here at home.

home

↓

We got to spy on Mac and Dennis.

dennis

↓

- Oh, God, that smell! - Phew!

phew smell

↓

The air quality in here is terrible!

quality

↓

How do these people survive in this?

survive

↓

Oof. Well, you know the Chinese.

chinese

↓

It's like, business first,

business

↓

breathing second, goddamn it!

breathing goddamn goddamn-it second

↓

At least we know that it's a real fish factory,

factory fish fish-factory least real

↓

not some sort of a front for something.

front

↓

- Well... - Dee, we don't know that for sure, okay?

↓

And that's why you got to get a job here.

↓

I got to get a job here? What am I looking for?

looking

↓

Shady practices, you know?

shady

↓

Sketchy dealings. Schematics.

sketchy

↓

Human rights violations, anything, Dee.

human rights

↓

Just, you know, gather intel.

gather intel

↓

Okay. What are you guys gonna do?

↓

Dee, you're on a need-to-know basis here, okay?

basis

↓

There's a chain of command.

chain command

↓

- You're at the very bottom. - You're way down.

bottom

↓

Well, at least tell me what the whole plan is.

least plan whole whole-plan

↓

Dee, the one time we bring you in on a thing instead of Charlie

bring charlie

↓

and all we get is back-sass and questions?

questions sass

↓

Do you want to be on the team or not?

team

↓

Yeah, I want to be part of the team.

part team

↓

Yes, sorry.

↓

So how do I gather the intel?

gather intel

↓

Oh, Jesus Chri... Talk to people.

jesus

↓

I don't know, flirt with the manager.

flirt manager

↓

He'll love how "pretty" and "blonde" you are.

blonde love

↓

Don't do that. I'm blonde.

blonde

↓

Look, my mind goes to that office up there, you know?

mind office

↓

What kind of shady shit's going on in there?

shady shits

↓

And now I'm doing your job for you.

↓

You know what, let's just go get Charlie,

charlie

↓

'cause I don't want to hold her hand through it.

hand

↓

No, no, no. No Charlie. No Charlie, okay?

charlie

↓

I got this, you guys, I got this.

↓

Don't worry about me, I got this.

worry

↓

Okay, we need you, Dee.

↓

- Go. Go. - Go.

↓

It sucks not having our own apartment.

apartment having sucks

↓

We got to get back in there, dude.

↓

I know. I hate Dee. Dennis, I hate her.

dennis hate

↓

I know, but at least we got her out of our hair for a bit.

hair least

↓

- We can finally do our plan. - Yes, okay.

finally plan

↓

Oh, goddamn it.

goddamn goddamn-it

↓

- What is that? - Goddamn it!

goddamn goddamn-it

↓

Let's just deal with it and get back to business.

business deal

↓

Yeah, okay. All right.

↓

Coming!

coming

↓

I'm coming, Jesus Christ... Oh.

christ coming jesus jesus-christ

↓

- Hey, guys. - What do you want, Charlie? We're busy.

busy charlie

↓

I wanted to apologize about, um, snapping earlier today

apologize snapping today wanted

↓

with words at you guys, and then I came here to make an apology...

apology words

↓

Apology words.

apology words

↓

- What's he talking about? - I don't know.

↓

- I don't remember. Okay, thank you. - Well, hang on!

hang remember

↓

Hang on a second.

hang second

↓

I got you guys a flower arrangement for you.

arrangement flower

↓

Great. Thanks.

thanks

↓

You can't just have it. There's a plan.

plan

↓

I have to come in and give it to you. And put it down.

↓

All right, fine. Come in, put them down and then go.

↓

- Okay, and I'm in. - He's in.

↓

Okay. Uh...

↓

Put the vase close to them, so we can see them.

close vase

↓

Right. Okay... And good.

↓

And where are you guys spending most of your time?

spending

↓

It's a small apartment. We're all over the place.

apartment place

↓

- Put them anywhere. - I'll put them down right here, then.

↓

No. No good, move them.

↓

Can't put them here, though.

↓

Where can I put them?

↓

Put them in the trash, for all we care.

care trash

↓

- I don't... - Putting them a little further back.

further putting

↓

- Yeah, that's good. - And right about here.

↓

Uh, great, we don't care. It's fine.

care

↓

No, to the left.

left

↓

- To the left, you say? - Didn't say that.

left

↓

Don't talk out loud to me.

loud

↓

- Roger that. - Who's Roger?

roger

↓

Who's Roger? Just...

roger

↓

Thinking about legally changing my name to Roger.

changing legally name roger thinking

↓

What's wrong with your ear, dude?

↓

Spider crawled up in my ear. It was living there.

crawled living spider

↓

Right.

↓

Sends it's thoughts to me.

sends thoughts

↓

Is it telling you to leave?

telling

↓

Spider, can I leave?

spider

↓

To the left.

left

↓

Right there, that's good. Now get out of there.

↓

Okay.

↓

Oh, Jesus Chr...

jesus

↓

Let's get back to business, please.

business

↓

Yeah, come on.

↓

I was doing a little research earlier, and I stumbled upon something huge.

huge research stumbled

↓

Hey, man. Can you hear and see everything?

↓

- They're talking about research. - Research, huh?

research

↓

It is everything that we've been looking for.

looking

↓

Dude, it's gonna save us so much time. It is a game-changer.

game save

↓

Check this out.

check

↓

- Oh, my God. - Yeah.

↓

There's so much potential here!

potential

↓

- What is it? - This is great!

↓

- I can't see. - Yeah, shit.

↓

So, listen, do me a favor. Give me a little bit of time with this.

favor

↓

Let me dig in to this a little bit, see what the potential really is.

potential

↓

Yeah, I'll give you some space. Okay.

space

↓

- Oh, oh, wait, Mac. - Yeah?

↓

- One more thing. - Mmm-hmm.

↓

Throw those goddamn flowers in the trash.

flowers goddamn throw trash

↓

Yeah. Right.

↓

Pieces of shit.

pieces

↓

- Goddamn it! - Son of a bitch.

bitch goddamn goddamn-it

↓

We got to get our hands on that laptop!

hands laptop

↓

Right.

↓

Name's Dee. I'm new around here.

names

↓

So, what's the deal with these masks, huh?

deal masks

↓

Are they gonna protect you from the fish or protect the fish from you, am I right?

fish protect

↓

No. I didn't get that.

↓

You chop fish, pull gut!

chop fish pull

↓

"Pull gut." Totally, yeah.

pull

↓

Listen, I'm gonna pop this off 'cause it's not protecting me

protecting

↓

from the smell, so I'm not really sure what the point is.

point smell

↓

Hey.

↓

Give me the skinny.

skinny

↓

Are you guys up to anything non-fish related around here or...

fish related

↓

Seriously? All right, goddamn it.

goddamn goddamn-it

↓

You are of no use to me.

↓

Oh, here we go.

↓

Uh, excuse me. Hello.

excuse

↓

Hi. Um...

↓

Uh, my name's Dee and I'm new around here,

names

↓

and I just would love to chat with you sometime

chat love sometime

↓

in private, you know? Maybe up in your secret private office up there?

office private secret

↓

I need you to chop fish and pull the gut.

chop fish pull

↓

Yeah. No, I get it.

↓

I get that you're a chop fish, pull gut factory.

chop factory fish pull

↓

Wait, wait, wait, wait! Don't go anywhere. Hi.

↓

Um, uh, how about this, huh?

↓

Uh-oh. What do you see, huh?

↓

American girl, blue eyes, blonde hair...

american blonde blue blue-eyes eyes girl hair

↓

It got me! It got me good!

↓

Aw! It got in my mouth!

mouth

↓

It's getting in...

↓

Hi. Hey, guys.

↓

What are you doing, dude? You texted us 911.

texted

↓

- What's the emergency? - Yeah.

emergency

↓

Oh, yeah, uh, well, our friendship's in danger, so...

danger friendships

↓

I stole Frank's credit card. You guys want to have lunch?

card credit credit-card franks lunch stole

↓

- You got Frank's card? - I got the card.

card franks

↓

I'm annoyed, but I could eat.

annoyed

↓

- All right, let's go. - Yeah, to be honest with you,

honest

↓

my taste for fish is returning.

fish returning taste

↓

Yeah, I've been thinking about it all day.

thinking

↓

My taste for fish is slowly returning, too. Yeah.

fish returning slowly taste

↓

And Guigino's does have the best fish. Very well!

best fish guiginos

↓

You know, maybe, uh... Maybe just order a couple apps though.

apps couple order

↓

I think Frank would prefer that. You know, that's...

frank prefer

↓

Who cares what Frank prefers?

cares frank

↓

We're buying this food with his stolen credit card.

buying card credit credit-card food stolen

↓

And I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear that.

pretend

↓

Uh, welcome back, gentlemen.

gentlemen welcome

↓

I'm sorry. Do I know you, pal?

↓

I've never seen this man before in my life.

life seen

↓

I waited on you before.

waited

↓

You tied my shoelaces together. I fell down.

fell shoelaces tied

↓

I'm getting nothing. I'm drawing a blank on this guy.

blank drawing

↓

Yeah, yeah, that means nothing to me. What are you saying?

↓

A scalding hot plate of spaghetti fell into my face?

face fell plate spaghetti

↓

I'm to remember every man I've seen fall into a plate of spaghetti?

fall plate remember seen spaghetti

↓

Never mind. Uh, can I get your order?

mind order

↓

- Get me the snapper, bozo. - Snapper fish for the man.

bozo fish snapper

↓

Actually, our fish supplier had an incident at their facility,

facility fish incident supplier

↓

so we are limited on fish.

fish limited

↓

Market price is quite high today.

market price today

↓

Do you have the snapper or not?

snapper

↓

Yeah, uh, we do. But it's $44.

↓

Ooh. Oh, my God. All right.

↓

Well, then, let's do some cheaper chicken or, uh...

cheaper chicken

↓

Well, no. I'm in a fish mood now. Fish has been established.

established fish mood

↓

It was established, wasn't it?

established

↓

Yeah, it was. So three snappers.

three

↓

Yeah, why are we talking about it so much? Get the goddamn snappers!

goddamn

↓

- Okay... Oh... - Get the snapper!

snapper

↓

- Jesus Christ. - Who is that guy?

christ jesus jesus-christ

↓

- Guigino's is slipping. - It is, they are slipping.

guiginos slipping

↓

They do have great fish, though.

fish

↓

- So, what's going on with our friendship? - Yeah.

friendship

↓

Okay.

↓

Ha! Charlie, I'm in.

charlie

↓

How you doing? You having lunch? Keeping them busy?

busy having having-lunch keeping lunch

↓

Uh, yeah, but slight hitch, though.

hitch slight

↓

- The snapper is, uh, $44. - What?

snapper

↓

No, no, no, no $44!

↓

Get them appetizers.

↓

I know, but they want fish and I kind of want fish, too, and the waiter

fish waiter

↓

said it's the market price, so...

market price

↓

All right. Wait, I got the laptop.

laptop

↓

Let me go to the search history.

history search

↓

Holy shit!

holy

↓

Damn it! Sweeping up fish guts with a broom!

broom fish guts sweeping

↓

Got to be some kind of workers' rights violation.

rights violation workers

↓

What are you... Ahhh! You idiot!

ahhh idiot

↓

What are you picking it up with your hands?

hands picking

↓

Uh, hell no, lady, no.

lady

↓

I realize this might all be moon talk to you,

might moon realize

↓

but I'm not touching fish guts with my hands, okay?

fish guts hands touching

↓

You know what we could do? Yeah, let's just disperse it.

disperse

↓

You know what I mean? Just send it all over the place!

place send

↓

Nobody will know. Just kind of...

nobody

↓

Oh... Yeah, it's so crazy.

crazy

↓

I saw that.

↓

Hey, Frank. Sweet hat and jacket.

frank jacket sweet

↓

- Don't... Charlie, don't sit there. - Huh?

charlie

↓

Sit back there. We got to be smart about this.

smart

↓

All right. Why didn't we just meet

meet

↓

back at the apartment then? That would've been better.

apartment wouldve

↓

Because you got me thinking about fish.

fish thinking

↓

Oh, right, nice. Yeah. Get the snapper. It's delicious.

delicious snapper

↓

- Mmm. - Hi. How can I help you?

↓

Oh, perfect. You're here now, too.

perfect

↓

You're talking to me like you know me. Have we ever met?

↓

Let's just move past this part. What can I get you?

part past

↓

I'm gonna have the snapper.

snapper

↓

And I'm gonna buy one for the strange man behind me who I've never met.

behind strange

↓

Gentlemen, I hate to inform you two strangers here that we are out of snapper.

gentlemen hate inform snapper strangers

↓

We had some issues with our local supplier,

issues local supplier

↓

so we are completely out of fish today.

completely fish today

↓

How do you not have fish?

fish

↓

It says "Fresh fish daily" on the menu.

daily fish fresh menu

↓

Well, I just explained it. I went step by step.

explained step

↓

But how come you don't have it? It's on the menu!

menu

↓

- For the reasons I said. - You have no snapper?

reasons snapper

↓

There's a sequence of events...

events sequence

↓

It says right here snapper...

snapper

↓

Do you have fish or do you not have fish?

fish

↓

Can I get you a non-fish entree?

fish

↓

- You can get lost. - With pleasure.

lost pleasure

↓

All right, so... What did you find out?

↓

- I think I know what those guys are up to. - Can I just sit over there?

↓

'Cause I feel like the cover's blown now,

blown covers

↓

- and now I have to go like... - All right, sit over here.

↓

I think I know what they're up to.

↓

- Okay, what? - I think Mac and Dennis

dennis

↓

are going into business with the Chinese guys across the street.

business chinese street

↓

- What? - They're gonna open up

open

↓

some kind of pastry factory!

factory pastry

↓

What? What makes you think that?

makes

↓

I saw it on their search history.

history search

↓

Only two words came up.

words

↓

"Asians..."

asians

↓

And "cream pies."

cream cream-pies pies

↓

Oh, shit.

↓

They're gonna turn Paddy's into some kind of Asian cream pie factory!

asian cream factory paddys

↓

- Those bastards! - Yeah!

bastards

↓

- Oh, my God! - Sons of bitches!

bitches sons

↓

- So, what are we gonna do? - We got to beat them at their own game.

beat game

↓

Okay, the Chinese want cream pies, they'll get cream pies.

chinese cream cream-pies pies

↓

But only, they're not gonna get them from those bozos.

bozos

↓

They're gonna be getting their cream pies from us.

cream cream-pies pies

↓

Can I go now?

↓

Because I feel like you had a really long session last time.

session

↓

I did, yeah, I went on for a long, long time,

↓

but that's how much it takes, all right?

takes

↓

I'm trying to build up to something, to a major finish, you know?

build finish major

↓

And I didn't get to because Charlie interrupted us

charlie interrupted

↓

with his goddamn emergency lunch. What are you doing?

emergency goddamn lunch

↓

I don't want to stumble across whatever it is that you're stumbling across.

stumble

↓

- Let me finish. - Wait, no, this... We got a problem here.

finish problem

↓

- What? - The Internet's not working.

working

↓

What?

↓

No...

↓

No!

↓

Come on!

↓

Oh, son of a bitch.

bitch

↓

What is it, Charlie? We're in the middle of a crisis.

charlie crisis middle

↓

Trouble getting online?

online trouble

↓

Yeah, how did you know that?

↓

We need to talk.

↓

Hi, how can I help... Oh, you're back.

↓

Why do you look familiar to me?

familiar

↓

I'm the waiter you didn't tip earlier.

waiter

↓

Yeah, well, you're not getting a tip with that attitude.

attitude

↓

We'll take the snapper. Uh, this guy, too. He's with us.

snapper

↓

As I told this gentleman only moments ago, we are out of fish today.

fish gentleman moments today

↓

We came to Guigino's for the fish.

fish guiginos

↓

- It says "Fresh fish daily." - Uh, you know what, Dennis?

daily dennis fish fresh

↓

I'll have a plate of piping hot spaghetti instead. Extra sauce.

extra piping plate sauce spaghetti

↓

All right. You know what? That sounds good.

sounds

↓

I'll take spaghetti, too. Nice and sloppy.

sloppy spaghetti

↓

So you do remember me.

remember

↓

- We're busy! Okay? - He wants spaghetti.

busy spaghetti wants

↓

- I want spaghetti, too, please. - He's gonna get spaghetti.

spaghetti

↓

- Just get us the spaghetti. - And some snapper fish, if you have it.

fish snapper spaghetti

↓

Thank you, thank you...

↓

- What's that guy's attitude? - I don't know what that guy's deal is.

attitude deal

↓

Hey, you know what we should do? We should tie his shoelaces together.

shoelaces

↓

Classic!

classic

↓

When he falls, it'll spill all over.

falls itll spill

↓

The spaghetti will get on him!

spaghetti

↓

I've always wanted to see that.

wanted

↓

Hey, can I come sit with you guys?

↓

'Cause I feel my cover's blown, here.

blown covers

↓

You don't have a goddamn cover, you're, uh, dressed like it's Halloween.

cover dressed goddamn halloween

↓

All right, I'm coming over. All right.

coming

↓

- Now, what's going on, man? - What's going on?

↓

Listen, Frank's onto you.

franks

↓

That's why I had Dee's Internet shut down. He knows what you're doing.

dees internet knows

↓

- Oh, come on. - Frank knows what we're doing?

frank knows

↓

Yes!

↓

Honestly, guys, you should be ashamed of yourselves.

ashamed yourselves

↓

- What? I'm not ashamed. - I'm a little bit ashamed,

ashamed

↓

but I think that's natural.

natural

↓

Well, look, here's the thing. Now Frank wants to start doing it, too.

frank start wants

↓

- So what? - So what? Let him do it.

↓

He wants me to do it with him.

wants

↓

- I assumed you two did that already. - Me, too.

assumed

↓

No! And now he wants us to do it with the Chinese guy across the street,

chinese street wants

↓

so I knew you wouldn't be into that.

↓

No, I'm not into that. That's bizarre.

bizarre

↓

Exactly. I feel like I should be doing it with you guys.

↓

- Ah... - Come on, man.

↓

This is getting weird and messy.

messy weird

↓

- I don't want to get you involved. - Come on, guys.

involved

↓

There's too many people. Just go do it with Frank.

frank

↓

Is Dee in on it?

↓

- Ew! God, no! - Why would we... Ugh.

↓

That's why she's at the factory, to distract her.

distract factory

↓

Come on, guys. It should be you and me, okay?

↓

I like cream pies as much as the next guy.

cream cream-pies pies

↓

Oh, shh... Don't, don't say it out loud.

loud

↓

Well, okay, okay, okay. Let me make a cream pie for you, okay?

cream

↓

Then you can try it. See what you think.

↓

I do not want to taste your cream pie.

cream taste

↓

They taste great, I can guarantee it.

guarantee taste

↓

You've tasted yours?

tasted

↓

Of course. Haven't you?

course

↓

- No! - I've tasted mine. I didn't like it.

tasted

↓

- I've tasted mine, yeah. - I liked mine.

liked tasted

↓

Whatever, dude. If you don't care about the taste, fine, all right?

care taste

↓

But they're not just gonna be for us anyway.

↓

It's not... What?

↓

We're gonna sell them to everyone in Philly.

philly sell

↓

Who the hell's gonna want to buy them?

hells

↓

Everyone's gonna buy them, especially kids.

especially everyones kids

↓

- Ew, dude! - Little kids?

kids

↓

I'd love watching a kid do it.

love watching

↓

Dude, you are gonna get in a lot of trouble.

trouble

↓

Hell, no, dude. I won't do it without the parents' permission,

parents permission

↓

- I'll do everything... - No parent is gonna let you...

parent

↓

The parents are gonna watch. They're gonna be so psyched...

parents psyched watch

↓

They're not gonna want to watch!

watch

↓

- What are you talking about? - You gotta go overseas.

overseas

↓

- That's just... - No.

↓

No, you don't. That's as American as it gets.

american

↓

Guys, you gotta think about this as a business venture, right?

business venture

↓

The three of us combine our ingredients, making, like,

combine ingredients three

↓

one gigantic, delicious cream pie,

cream delicious gigantic

↓

some kid sucking it down and paying us for the pleasure.

paying pleasure sucking

↓

Hang on a second.

hang second

↓

What kind of cream pie are you talking about?

cream

↓

What kind of cream pie are you talking about?

cream

↓

Cream pies. Everyone loves them.

cream cream-pies loves pies

↓

Comedians, baseball players, even protestors.

baseball comedians players protestors

↓

Cream pies are a rich American tradition and also delicious.

american cream cream-pies delicious pies rich tradition

↓

Mmm, my mouth's getting wet just watching her eat that cream pie.

cream mouths watching

↓

Asians know electronics. And fish.

asians electronics fish

↓

But Americans know cream pies, except for them.

americans cream cream-pies except pies

↓

God bless cream pies, and God bless America.

america bless bless-america cream cream-pies pies

↓

And China, too.

china

↓

Look, I'm an experienced businessman

businessman experienced

↓

with a long history in Asian countries.

asian countries history

↓

Imagine my cream pie taste and know-how

cream imagine taste

↓

combined with your underpaid labor force.

combined force labor

↓

We could corner the cream pie market!

corner cream market

↓

Wait, wait just a second.

second

↓

It's, uh... It's my business partner.

business business-partner partner

↓

Hello? I'm in the middle of the meeting now.

meeting middle

↓

The video killed.

killed video

↓

What do you mean, it's not the same kind of cream pie?

cream

↓

Oh, wait, I'll look.

↓

Holy shit!

holy

↓

Holy shit...

holy

↓

Well, it looks like relying on old Dee really paid off

paid relying

↓

for you guys after all, huh?

↓

What are you talking about?

↓

My series of accidents shut the whole factory down for, like, a couple days.

accidents couple couple-days days factory series whole

↓

Dee, we never asked you to shut down the factory.

asked factory

↓

Yeah, that's what's been driving up the price of fish.

driving fish price

↓

Yeah, snapper's way up. Snapper's through the roof.

roof

↓

You can't even get snapper! We're out of snapper, Dee!

snapper

↓

Look, you see, I told you you can't count on her.

count

↓

By the way, we stole our Wi-Fi from that place, too. Did you know that?

place stole

↓

Oh, so now we got no Wi-Fi because of you.

↓

Actually, we're pretty dependent on that Chinese factory.

chinese dependent factory

↓

We need the Chinese, Dee, we need the...

chinese

↓

For the cream, for the cr...

cream

↓

Don't... All right, guys, you know what?

↓

She seems fine and I'm not worried about her.

seems worried

↓

Let's go discuss our research a bit further, yeah?

discuss further research

↓

Ooh, for what? For one of our next schemes?

schemes

↓

Yeah. Yeah. For the next scheme, Dee. Uh, we'll be in touch.

scheme touch

↓

Oh. You guys could just do that here, you...

↓

Wait, I can call for more chairs!

chairs

↓

Listen, guys, uh, first of all, I'm gonna suggest that

suggest

↓

we reset our browser each time we do a research session.

research reset session

↓

- That's a good idea. For privacy. - Right.

idea privacy

↓

Yeah, and, you know, we're spying on ourselves.

spying

↓

That doesn't really gather any useful information.

gather information useful

↓

- No, it's just all porn. - Right.

porn

↓

We should keep spying on the Chinese, though.

chinese spying

↓

Actually, when I was over there,

↓

I looked at their search history, it's all porn, too.

history looked porn search

↓

- Is it? - Ah, we're all doing it.

↓

What you're gonna find

↓

when you're spying on the general population is

general population spying

↓

everyone is just, uh...

↓

Masturbating constantly.

constantly masturbating

↓

I know I am.

↓

And yet you've never heard of a cream pie.

cream heard