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Home » It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia » S09E10 — The Gang Squashes Their Beefs

It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Season 9, Episode 10 — The Gang Squashes Their Beefs

TMDB episode metadata

Show: It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Episode title: The Gang Squashes Their Beefs

Air date: November 06, 2013

Director: Todd Biermann

Top billed cast: Charlie Day, Glenn Howerton, Rob Mac, Kaitlin Olson, Danny DeVito

When some bad blood with old foes compromises their ideal Thanksgiving, the gang decides to make amends by breaking bread with those they've hurt.

Source: TMDB

↓

Oh, there it is, Mac.

↓

- There it is. - I can't believeit finally arrived.

arrived finally

↓

Oh, my God, Thundergun Express: The Unrated Director's Cut.

directors express thundergun

↓

Thirteen extra minutes of movie in this one.

extra minutes movie

↓

And it's unrated. They were not able to rate it.

able rate

↓

This is gonna be the best Thanksgiving ever.

best thanksgiving

↓

Oh, yeah, absolutely, man.

absolutely

↓

Thundergun, hoagies

thundergun

↓

and four extra seconds dedicated solely to the dong shot.

dedicated dong extra four seconds shot solely

↓

Buddy, that's what I'm thankful for.

buddy thankful

↓

So much better than a traditional Thanksgiving.

thanksgiving traditional

↓

Oh, yeah, dude, I hate Thanksgiving.

hate thanksgiving

↓

What is that? What am I supposed to be thankful for exactly?

supposed thankful

↓

Who am I meant to be thanking, right?

meant thanking

↓

I've had to scratch and claw for everything I've got.

claw scratch

↓

- If anything, I should be thanking myself. - Yeah.

thanking

↓

Hey, man.

↓

Welcome to Mahndo Video.

video welcome

↓

How may we help you?

↓

What are you guys doing here?

↓

We own the store. We bought this bitch.

bitch bought store

↓

We wanted to invest in an emerging market.

emerging invest market wanted

↓

An emerging market? Video stores are a dying market.

dying emerging market stores video

↓

This is, like, one of the only ones left.

left ones

↓

Then we're gonna corner that market.

corner market

↓

Okay. Whatever. Liam, what is on your eye?

liam

↓

Someone ate my eye at my wedding. Don't you remember, man?

remember wedding

↓

The eyepatch is flesh-colored to make people less uncomfortable.

colored flesh less uncomfortable

↓

I'm way more uncomfortable.

uncomfortable

↓

Yeah, absolutely. You look like a man who was born without an eye, which is

absolutely born

↓

- way creepier than a man who lost one. - Yeah.

lost

↓

Just get a black eyepatch, you know? Embrace it. Losing an eye is badass.

badass black embrace losing

↓

It's not badass. I have no depth perception!

badass depth perception

↓

- It's all your fault. - What are you…

fault

↓

How is it our fault? What are you talking about?

fault

↓

Let's not get into a whole thing about missing eyes and whose fault they are.

eyes fault missing whole

↓

We'll just rent the video, and we'll be out of here.

rent video

↓

You are not renting shit.

renting

↓

You are not welcome in this store.

store welcome

↓

Your video-renting days are over!

days renting video

↓

No, come on, don't do that, dude.

↓

It's not even… It's not even close. I mean, I…

close

↓

- Let me get that for you. - Thanks, man.

thanks

↓

Don't cut… Don't…

↓

Goddamn it.

goddamn goddamn-it

↓

All right, look, just pay the man already. We'll be done with it.

↓

It's freezing in there.

freezing

↓

No can do, Charlie.

charlie

↓

It's the principle of the thing.

principle

↓

You guys having a principle fight?

fight having principle

↓

No, we're not having a principle fight.

fight having principle

↓

We're having a heat fight, okay?

fight having heat

↓

'Cause our heat's broken, and Hwang won't fix it until this guy pays the rent.

broken hwang pays rent

↓

This guy's not gonna pay the rent till Hwang fixes the heat.

heat hwang rent till

↓

So you got one of those snafus,

snafus

↓

- where you got old assholes… - It's a deadlock.

assholes

↓

It's a deadlock of butting heads.

butting heads

↓

We got a disaster on our hands, a disaster.

disaster hands

↓

The McPoyles bought Mahndo Video. They revoked our membership.

bought mcpoyles membership video

↓

- You didn't get Thundergun? - Nope.

nope thundergun

↓

- We didn't get shit! - Aw…

↓

Hang on.

hang

↓

Dee, why do our hoagies reek of gasoline?

gasoline

↓

Maybe 'cause I got 'em at the gas station, I guess.

station

↓

Why?

↓

Why didn't you get the ones we like from the Wawa?

ones wawa

↓

Because Gail the Snail works at the Wawa, okay?

gail snail wawa works

↓

And we got mad beef. She won't serve me.

beef serve

↓

- Oh, my God. - This is a mess.

mess

↓

This a mess. We can't get the sandwiches we want,

mess sandwiches

↓

we can't get the videos we want, my apartment's an icebox.

apartments videos

↓

Thanksgiving's gonna be ruined, you know.

ruined

↓

It's not just Thanksgiving, pal.

thanksgiving

↓

You know what the real problem is?

problem real real-problem

↓

We have too many beefs all over town.

beefs town

↓

It's jamming us up.

jamming

↓

- We made a lot of enemies over the years. - We have made enemies.

enemies years

↓

We got to do something about this, guys, okay?

↓

So I say we use Thanksgiving as an opportunity

opportunity thanksgiving

↓

to squash some of those beefs.

beefs squash

↓

All right, guys, this is really coming together.

coming

↓

It's looking good.

looking

↓

You know, this was the original meaning of Thanksgiving anyway.

meaning original thanksgiving

↓

The Pilgrims and Indians had beef.

beef indians

↓

So what did they do?

↓

They got together, they sat at a table,

table

↓

they ate some delicious food and they squashed that beef.

beef delicious food squashed

↓

And that's exactly what we're gonna do.

↓

Mac and I are gonna squash the McPoyle beef,

beef mcpoyle squash

↓

you guys are gonna squash Hwang…

hwang squash

↓

And you guys are gonna squash with Bruce.

bruce squash

↓

- What? - Say what?

↓

Bruce Mathis, I invited him.

bruce bruce-mathis invited mathis

↓

- What? What? - Why would you do that?

↓

Because he is your dad, and Thanksgiving is a holiday for families.

families holiday thanksgiving

↓

I also invited Charlie's mom, my mom and my dad, but they didn't want to come.

charlies invited

↓

- So just Bruce? - You know what? It's okay.

bruce

↓

We'll manage very carefully, and it'll be fine.

carefully itll manage

↓

Hey, maybe we can squeeze some money out of the guy.

money squeeze

↓

I'm confused though. In this whole scenario

confused scenario whole

↓

with the Pilgrim and the Indians, which one are we?

indians pilgrim

↓

The Pilgrims.

↓

- They came out on top. - I don't know about that, Frank.

frank

↓

The Indians, they've got sports teams, they've got casinos.

indians sports teams

↓

They're a very celebrated people.

↓

Yeah, that's true, actually. You don't see people walking around

walking

↓

with the tall hat with a buckle on the front.

buckle front tall

↓

Makes no difference, though, in our scenario

difference makes scenario

↓

with what we're trying to accomplish here, okay? They buried the hatchet.

accomplish buried hatchet

↓

That's what they did, and that's what we're gonna do.

↓

Okay, so, to that end, here's the plan,

plan

↓

once the guests arrive, we will ply them with liquor

arrive guests liquor

↓

and then I will present to them this peace treaty that I will have them sign.

peace present sign treaty

↓

Why do you always want people to sign creepy documents?

creepy documents sign

↓

Well, Frank, once something's in writing, that means it's set in stone.

frank somethings stone writing

↓

Then no one can do anything to stop me.

↓

When do you want me to serve the squash and the beef?

beef serve squash

↓

So we're literally serving squash and beef?

beef serving squash

↓

You said we're squashing beef.

beef

↓

I thought it would be part of the ceremony to have squash and beef.

beef ceremony part squash

↓

Yeah, it's all about the ceremony.

ceremony

↓

That's why I got this bucket of dirt and a hatchet,

bucket dirt hatchet

↓

so we can have a ceremonial burying of the hatchet.

burying ceremonial hatchet

↓

Right. And after we do that,

↓

we're going to wipe the slate clean.

clean wipe

↓

Wait, no, guys, look, this is all very on the nose and totally unnecessary.

nose unnecessary

↓

- Where's food? - Walk right in, why don't you, Hwang?

food hwang walk

↓

Thanksgiving, food.

food thanksgiving

↓

Yeah, Thanksgiving. There'll be food, Hwang.

food hwang thanksgiving therell

↓

Have a seat, have a seat, man!

seat

↓

- What do you live in, a barn? - Have a seat, Hwang.

barn hwang live seat

↓

All right, guys, listen, regroup, regroup.

regroup

↓

Let's put on some music, lighten the mood and get this party started.

lighten mood music party party-started started

↓

- Dee. - Hmm.

↓

- Go break the ice. - What?

break

↓

- Yeah. - Why me?

↓

Yeah, yeah, someone's got to do it. Just go to go over there…

someones

↓

Go, go, go.

↓

- Some good crackers. - Huh?

crackers

↓

Mmm. Mmm.

↓

- They are delicious. - Yeah.

delicious

↓

What's wrong? Is it the eye?

↓

Why would… I don't even know why you would say that.

↓

- They made me feel self-conscious. - Did they?

conscious self self-conscious

↓

I don't…

↓

Yeah. Is it off-putting? Or does it look real?

putting real

↓

The skin tone is a… Is a…

skin tone

↓

A good match.

match

↓

Oh, well, when you move the other one,

↓

I guess I can tell a little bit, if I'm being honest.

honest

↓

Hey, turkeys, gobble, gobble.

gobble gobble-gobble turkeys

↓

Cricket, what the hell are you doing here?

cricket

↓

Word around town is you guys are squashing beef.

beef town word

↓

We don't have beef with you.

beef

↓

You don't have beef with me?

beef

↓

I was a priest before I got involved with you guys. Unbelievable.

involved priest unbelievable

↓

Look, we have enough on our plate right now, Crick.

crick plate

↓

- Yeah. - Come on, guys, let me stay.

↓

I'll eat the gristle.

↓

You can eat it off the floor like a dog, how 'bout that?

bout floor

↓

- Now you're just creating more beef. - I don't mind.

beef creating mind

↓

Woof, woof, baby.

baby woof

↓

- Great. - Look at that. Beef squashed, huh?

beef squashed

↓

- Beef squashed. - Okay, wait, wait, hold on a second.

beef second squashed

↓

Here, sign this treaty.

sign treaty

↓

- Mmm, yeah. - It'll be official.

itll official

↓

- Good. - Boom! All right, get out of here.

boom

↓

- Go, go, go. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

↓

Okay, let's get started.

started

↓

I really like your room, Mac.

room

↓

- Thank you. - Yeah, great. Have a seat, guys.

seat

↓

Um, now, I…

↓

- Yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah, a little to the…

↓

To your right. Okay, good.

↓

Now, I know we've had our differences in the past.

differences past

↓

Things have been a little tense between us.

tense

↓

What is this?

↓

- What is what? - Standing.

standing

↓

What's with the standing?

standing

↓

You're lording.

↓

We're not lording, we're just having a conversation.

conversation having

↓

- Yeah, we're just… - Some kind of a status thing?

status

↓

- A power move? - Some kind of power play?

power

↓

- Come on, guys. No. - It's not a power move!

power

↓

We're having a conversation. There's one chair.

chair conversation having

↓

- Bring it down. - Just bring it down on the haunches.

bring haunches

↓

- You want us to squat? - Haunch it.

squat

↓

Oh, Christ, fine.

christ

↓

- Just do it, just do it. - All right, look…

↓

Give him the…

↓

Guys, look, I know we've had our differences in the past.

differences past

↓

Things have been very, very awkward,

awkward

↓

but it's time for us to move forward with our relationship, all right?

forward relationship

↓

It's time to hit the reset button, wouldn't you say?

button reset

↓

Here's this. Open it up.

open

↓

- Mmm-hmm. - It's your gift.

gift

↓

What the hell is this?

↓

It's a peace treaty. We need you to sign that.

peace sign treaty

↓

I thought I was getting an eye.

↓

An eye?

↓

Why would you think that?

↓

You kept making comments. You were hinting about eyes.

comments eyes

↓

We're not giving you an eye!

giving

↓

Where the Christ would we get an eye?

christ

↓

And if we did get an eye, how would we attach it to you?

attach

↓

I'm not signing shit until I get an eye. You owe me.

signing

↓

- Give him your eye. - You want me to give him my eye?

↓

- Mmm-hmm. - You realize how preposterous that is?

preposterous realize

↓

Okay, then apologize.

apologize

↓

Apologize for what?

apologize

↓

For everything! For all of it!

↓

- This isn't… It's not about apology. - We're not apologizing.

apologizing apology

↓

We're not apologizing, okay? Nobody's apologizing.

apologizing nobodys

↓

No one's admitting guilt or anything.

admitting guilt ones

↓

We've all done something wrong.

↓

Okay, it's just about…

↓

It's just about, like, you know, moving forward, moving on.

forward moving moving-forward

↓

Look, all you have to do is apologize, and I'll sign it.

apologize sign

↓

Give us a second.

second

↓

All right.

↓

- How are we gonna get this eye? - I don't know.

↓

Come on, come on, give me some.

↓

Eat the… Eat the,

↓

you know, the skins if you got to eat something.

skins

↓

I'll eat the skins. I'll always eat the skins. I love the skins.

love skins

↓

It's where all the vitamins are.

vitamins

↓

What kind of meat is that, Charlie? Doesn't smell right.

charlie meat smell

↓

It's not grade A meat. You know, I'm not gonna get grade A meat.

grade meat

↓

Why are you guys hovering? Don't hover. Answer the door!

answer door hover

↓

Get the door!

door

↓

All right.

↓

Yeah, all right!

↓

I'm gonna fight with you.

fight

↓

What?

↓

Snail, what the hell are you doing here? Who invited you?

invited snail

↓

Dee, we invited her, okay? Enough is enough.

invited

↓

You got to squash it with Snail, all right?

snail squash

↓

- We want to go to the Wawa again. - Goddamn it.

goddamn goddamn-it wawa

↓

Hey, you want some beef? You want some squash?

beef squash

↓

You want to pack some beef?

beef pack

↓

Listen, could you just swallow your spit and then breathe,

breathe spit swallow

↓

- and then we can talk? - Then breathe, and close your mouth.

breathe close mouth

↓

- Oh! Oh! Oh! See a doctor! - Oh, my God, it was sad for a second,

doctor second

↓

and now it's right back to… Rah, making me do the…

↓

Go see a doctor.

doctor

↓

- All right, oh, let's just… - All right, hold on. Um…

↓

Let's compromise. Is there something that we can do to just,

compromise

↓

you know, patch this up between you and Dee?

patch

↓

I want her to be my best friend, yo.

best best-friend friend

↓

Oh, well, you know what? That's not gonna happen, so…

happen

↓

That's too much.

↓

- Okay… - Hang on, hang on, hang on.

hang

↓

Is there a compromise? Is there anything?

compromise

↓

How about just for today?

today

↓

- Just for today? - Together.

today

↓

Okay, and then I get my convenience store to be convenient to me again,

convenience convenience-store convenient store

↓

- that's the deal? - Word is bond, yo.

bond deal word

↓

Okay. Okay, yeah, that sounds good, let's do it.

sounds

↓

- All right, good. - Yes, okay.

↓

Frank, Hwang, you're up. Let's go.

frank hwang

↓

All right, well, somebody say something.

somebody

↓

These crackers need more salt.

crackers salt

↓

I agree.

agree

↓

Okay, well…

↓

They're extremely salty, but good. That's a start.

extremely salty start

↓

I mean, you know, you guys agree about something.

agree

↓

- Hey! All right. - My doctor say no salt.

doctor salt

↓

Mine, too.

↓

Doctors are shit!

doctors

↓

Goddamn medicine men,

goddamn medicine

↓

trying to tell me how to eat my food.

food

↓

They're all shit.

↓

Well, look at that.

↓

You guys agree about something! Look at you two,

agree

↓

two extremely hard-headed, unhealthy old men who refuse to listen to doctors.

doctors extremely hard headed refuse unhealthy

↓

Come on, you guys are, like…

↓

Can we work this out? All right, Hwang, what if Frank gives you, like,

frank gives hwang

↓

half the rent now, then you fix the heat?

half heat rent

↓

And then he gives you the other half when the job's done?

gives half jobs

↓

- It's okay. - Yeah?

↓

All right, that's a deal. That's a squashed beef.

beef deal squashed

↓

- Frank, you? - Oh, as a matter of fact…

fact frank matter

↓

I could give the whole month's rent right here.

months rent whole

↓

- Well, that'd be… Good. - I'll take it.

thatd

↓

Yeah, but I'm not gonna do it, because I'm not gonna let you beat me,

beat

↓

because you're a lousy son of a bitch.

bitch lousy

↓

- You're a dog! - I'm a dog, you're a dog, huh?

↓

- Wait, wait, wait, wait. - How's that? Huh?

↓

- You're a fire dog! - Plenty more where this came from.

fire plenty

↓

I could heat that apartment all winter, huh?

apartment heat winter

↓

- You want it? Ah… - Yeah, yeah, yeah, fire dog.

fire

↓

- Aw! - You're trying to burn me!

burn

↓

Just give us an eye. You don't need both of them.

↓

I only have one good working eye.

working

↓

Yeah, but I think it might be better if you're blind, anyway.

blind might

↓

You know, it's gonna heighten all your other senses.

senses

↓

Let me think about it. I'll think about it.

↓

Okay, give it some thought. Give it some thought.

↓

All right, well, we'll work that angle.

angle

↓

- Ooh, maybe that's Bruce. - Oh, yeah.

bruce

↓

Hey, how'd you get him down here anyway?

howd

↓

I told him that his kids wanted to see him for Thanksgiving,

kids thanksgiving wanted

↓

and that you guys wanted to be one big happy family again.

family happy wanted

↓

Oh, nice.

↓

Hey.

↓

Who's this jabroni?

jabroni

↓

I have no idea. Slam the door on his face.

door face idea slam

↓

- See you, bozo. - Whoa, whoa, wait, wait, wait.

bozo whoa whoa-whoa

↓

Actually, I know who this guy is.

↓

Holy shit! Dude, this is the guy that Frank and Dee mistook for Bruce,

bruce frank holy

↓

and Frank got that bad intel, so they went to his apartment,

apartment frank intel

↓

- instead of Bruce's apartment. - And then we blew up his car.

apartment blew

↓

- Blew the shit out of his car. - Wait a minute. That was you guys?

blew minute

↓

Huh? No.

↓

I don't even know what you're talking about.

↓

Uh…

↓

- Happy Thanksgiving. - Yeah, yeah.

happy happy-thanksgiving thanksgiving

↓

Wait, wait. Please. Are my kids in there?

kids

↓

Somebody wrote me a note and said that my kids wanted to see me?

kids note somebody wanted wrote

↓

I haven't seen 'em since my wife left me. Are they in here?

left seen wife

↓

- Sabrina? - Oh, this is bad.

sabrina

↓

Marco? Daddy's here.

daddys marco

↓

Oh, my God. We really opened up a can of worms.

opened worms

↓

- It's a bit messy. - The good news is,

messy news

↓

seems that the kids thing took his mind off the car thing, so,

kids mind seems

↓

maybe it'll work itself out.

itll

↓

- Okay, good. - All right.

↓

- Mac. - Hey.

↓

Hey, thanks for calling, man.

calling thanks

↓

So, where are the kids? I can't wait to see those little rug rats.

kids rats

↓

It's been forever.

forever

↓

I'm sure they're around somewhere.

↓

Go ahead and mingle, and maybe you'll find 'em.

ahead go-ahead mingle

↓

My kids aren't really here, are they?

kids

↓

- Uh… - No.

↓

- No. No, I lied about that. - Thank God.

lied

↓

Let's get shit-housed, right, guys?

↓

What a piece of shit that guy is.

piece

↓

Yeah, he's a real piece of shit.

piece real

↓

- Oh, my God. - Yeah.

↓

What the hell is Ponderosa doing here?

ponderosa

↓

Well, he's the one that's responsible for Liam's eye,

liams responsible

↓

so we figured, you know, he shows up,

figured shows

↓

it shifts the blame from us to him,

blame shifts

↓

and, worst case scenario, they'll take his eye.

case case-scenario scenario worst worst-case worst-case-scenario

↓

Oh, my God, this is getting way too confusing. We got too many beefs.

beefs confusing

↓

- I can't keep up. - God, Dee, we got it.

↓

I'm not honking. I'm just…

honking

↓

- I'm expressing something… - We got it.

expressing

↓

I'll admit it, it's getting confusing, there's a lot of people here.

admit confusing

↓

- See? - I'll take some of the blame for that.

blame

↓

- I did invite… - Let us take the lead.

invite lead

↓

- We got it, we got it. - Okay.

↓

Can't get it to stay.

↓

There you go.

↓

Hi, uh, everybody, I'd like to say something, please.

everybody

↓

Uh, could I have your attention, please?

attention

↓

I'd like to say something, yeah.

↓

Um, so, the Pilgrims hated the Indians and the Indians, they despised the Pilgrims.

hated indians

↓

Yeah.

↓

But nonetheless, on Thanksgiving, they got together, right,

nonetheless thanksgiving

↓

and it wasn't about apologizing to each other.

apologizing

↓

It wasn't about admitting guilt. Won't do that. Okay?

admitting guilt

↓

It was just about making the peace, that was all that it was about.

peace

↓

And if the Indians knew how to sign shit,

indians sign

↓

they probably would've signed a peace treaty.

peace signed treaty wouldve

↓

Right? So that's what we're gonna do.

↓

We're gonna make peace with each other,

peace

↓

and we're gonna get it in writing.

writing

↓

All right? Is everybody amenable to that?

everybody

↓

Sound good?

sound

↓

Great, uh, so we'd like to begin with Bill Ponderosa.

begin bill bill-ponderosa ponderosa

↓

Yes.

↓

Oh.

↓

It's not… There's no need to clap. It's not a clapping event.

clap clapping event

↓

No. Right. So… Okay, so, um, Bill,

bill

↓

do you have something you'd like to admit to someone here?

admit

↓

Yes, actually, I do.

↓

Uh, I once broke into Dee's apartment and sniffed on her panties.

apartment broke dees panties

↓

What? Goddamn it! Beef!

beef goddamn goddamn-it

↓

No, I got beef with that.

beef

↓

Uh, can we, um… Just stay on track.

track

↓

Um… Bill, is there something you want to say to the McPoyles?

bill mcpoyles

↓

Oh, um…

↓

Hey, hey.

↓

I love that painted-on eye, man. That is fun.

fun love painted

↓

No. No, wait. No, no.

↓

Okay. No, no, no.

↓

All right, hey, hey, hey!

↓

Everybody stop clapping.

clapping everybody

↓

All right, Liam, Bill's the one who put bath salts

bath bath-salts bills liam salts

↓

in the punch at your wedding, all right?

punch wedding

↓

He's the one who is responsible for your empty eyehole.

empty responsible

↓

- Is this true, man? - Maybe. I…

↓

The only thing I remember from that night is

night remember

↓

my sponsor Frank giving me the green light to get shit-housed.

frank giving green green-light light sponsor

↓

- That's true. - That happened.

happened

↓

- I'll back that up. - Then it's your fault.

fault

↓

You owe my brother an eye!

brother

↓

All right, settle down! Settle… Take it easy, all right?

easy settle

↓

Don't drag him into your beef 'cause I need him to focus on ours here.

beef drag focus

↓

Hey, Frank, I'm giving this guy a handy under the table.

frank giving handy table

↓

Are you jealous?

jealous

↓

She's mashing it.

mashing

↓

She does that.

↓

I'm very aroused.

aroused

↓

Very good.

↓

Look, I'm… I'm sorry.

↓

Which one of you knows my ex-wife and when are my kids getting here?

kids knows wife

↓

- They'll get here. Just… - Who's this jabroni?

jabroni

↓

Uh, this is the gentleman who we mistook for Bruce Mathis.

bruce bruce-mathis gentleman mathis

↓

Right, yep, and then we blew up his car.

blew

↓

- Don't say that! - All of this, and it was you guys.

↓

You owe me a car.

↓

- I don't think that will ever happen. - Whoa, easy, man!

easy happen whoa

↓

That's a big leap right there.

leap

↓

Buddy, buddy, um, what's the deal with your kids?

buddy deal kids

↓

You haven't seen 'em in a while. Did you do something?

seen

↓

- Is it… Was it your fault? - Oh. I have a horrible drug problem.

drug drug-problem fault horrible problem

↓

Ooh, I hear you. I know that game, huh?

game

↓

You want to do a bump here?

bump

↓

Yeah, I guess one little bump won't hurt.

bump hurt

↓

I'll have a few of those delicious nose clams.

clams delicious nose nose-clams

↓

Frank, no, come on. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

frank whoa whoa-whoa whoa-whoa-whoa

↓

Don't clap for that!

clap

↓

What? I can't have squash?

squash

↓

I can't have blow?

blow

↓

We need you to focus! Sign the damn treaty!

focus sign treaty

↓

All right, you know what, Hwang, you sign the treaty.

hwang sign treaty

↓

- I'll sign it. - Oh, gross! Don't touch me with that hand!

gross hand sign touch

↓

Put your hand over here. I'll take sloppy seconds.

hand seconds sloppy

↓

Absolutely not.

absolutely

↓

- Mash me, baby. Mash me. - No mashing at the table!

baby mash mashing table

↓

Stop mashing, all right? Come on.

mashing

↓

Goddamn it, Frank, I'm starting to think I have beef with you!

beef frank goddamn goddamn-it starting

↓

- Yeah, us, too! - Okay, I have an idea.

idea

↓

It's time now to wipe the slate clean.

clean wipe

↓

No, you said we were gonna do the hatchet thing first!

hatchet

↓

Don't worry about the hatchet thing, okay?

hatchet worry

↓

That was an unsanctioned move.

↓

Well, none of these moves are working! We got to do something else!

moves working

↓

Food fight! Food fight!

fight food

↓

I guess!

↓

Sign the treaty!

sign treaty

↓

You owe me an eye, Frank!

frank

↓

Oh, shit!

↓

No, no, no, no.

↓

Oh, this was a bad idea.

idea

↓

We stirred up too much conflict.

conflict

↓

Yeah. It smells like smoke. Is something burning?

burning smells smoke

↓

I think it's coming from your room, dude.

coming room

↓

What?

↓

My room's on fire.

fire rooms

↓

Why is my room on fire?

fire room

↓

I may have started a money fire.

fire money started

↓

Why would you start a fire in my room, Frank?

fire frank room start

↓

What are we gonna do?

↓

I don't know, I don't know. We got to think, we got to think. Think, think.

↓

I've got an idea.

idea

↓

So we're just gonna lock them in there?

lock

↓

They're definitely gonna burn to death.

burn death

↓

Okay, guys, nobody's gonna burn, all right?

burn nobodys

↓

There's a fire escape. We'll call 911.

escape fire

↓

We just need to buy a little time so we can get the hell out of here.

↓

I feel like we're just creating more beef.

beef creating

↓

Which we will not resolve.

resolve

↓

Beefs are best left simmering under the surface, I've learned that now.

beefs best learned left surface

↓

The best thing to do with a beef is jam it deep down inside

beef best deep

↓

- and then press forward. - What are we gonna do now?

forward press

↓

You know, we could just buy Thundergun and go to a different Wawa.

thundergun wawa

↓

Yeah, it's a little inconvenient,

↓

but it's better than facing our problems.

facing problems

↓

Yeah, or saying we're sorry, which I'm not doing.

↓

- Hell, no, I won't do that. - I won't.

↓

All right, you want to go back to my place, get some blankets, bundle up?

blankets place

↓

- Just us? No one else? - That's what I'm thankful for.

thankful

↓

We don't need to get along with anybody else, we got each other.

along anybody

↓

Yeah, screw everybody else.

everybody screw

↓

I hate people who are different than me, you know?

hate

↓

Why pretend?

pretend

↓

Out the window.

window

↓

Who's got me? Man down.

↓

I'm right back here, guys.

↓

Who's got me? Guys? Hello? Hello?

↓

Time isn't present In that dimension

dimension present

↓

He'll take my arm

↓

When we're walkin', Rolling and rocking

rocking rolling walkin

↓

It's one time I'm glad I'm not a man

glad

↓

Feels like I'm dreaming, But I'm not sleeping

dreaming feels sleeping