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Home » Tires » S01E01 — The Initiative

Tires

Season 1, Episode 1 — The Initiative

TMDB episode metadata

Show: Tires

Episode title: The Initiative

Air date: May 23, 2024

Director: McKeever

Top billed cast: Steve Gerben, Shane Gillis, Chris O'Connor, Kilah Fox, Stavros Halkias

At the Valley Forge Auto shop, manager Will pushes a new inclusion initiative and invites a reporter to cover it, but the interview goes off the rails.

Source: TMDB

↓

Hi, Dad. It's Will.

↓

Call me back when you get a chance.

chance

↓

I'm sure you've heard by now.

heard

↓

Maybe Dave mentioned it, but I ordered a few too many tires.

dave mentioned ordered tires

↓

I'm calling to let you know it's not the end of the world

calling world

↓

'cause I did get quite a good discount on account of

account discount

↓

people don't typically order this many tires.

order tires typically

↓

Um, but we're also making a lot of progress here.

progress

↓

We're doing a lot of team building.

building team team-building

↓

No offense.

offense

↓

Your idea fucking sucks.

fucking fucking-sucks idea sucks

↓

I've got a lot of very happy customers.

customers happy

↓

Where is my car?

↓

You don't know what you're doing, do you?

↓

This is the worst customer experience I've ever had.

customer experience worst

↓

Stop doing that! This lady is really upset!

lady upset

↓

And, um, you know, I've got some ideas

ideas

↓

that I wanted to talk to you about.

wanted

↓

Good ideas. You know, marketing ideas.

ideas marketing

↓

Which... The guys here love them.

love

↓

It's not awful.

awful

↓

- It's awful. It's not awful!

awful

↓

And we might not need to return these tires

might return tires

↓

because of the marketing ideas.

ideas marketing

↓

We might be able to sell 'em.

able might sell

↓

You can't tell me all the time... You're always...

↓

So call me back when you get a chance, and I'll talk to you soon.

chance

↓

All right, Dad. Love you. Bye.

love

↓

To send your message, press one.

message press send

↓

To erase and rerecord your message, press two.

erase message press

↓

Message erased.

erased message

↓

Hi, Dad. It's Will.

↓

I'm good. How are you?

↓

Fuck my stupid cunt!

cunt fuck stupid

↓

To send your message, press one. To era--

message press send

↓

Message sent.

message sent

↓

Fuck!

fuck

↓

Goodbye.

goodbye

↓

♪ Maybe you don't see ♪

↓

♪ Just what you done to me ♪

↓

- ♪ If I'm in love, I don't wanna be... ♪

love

↓

♪ But with you, it came easy... ♪

easy

↓

Hold it. You got a reporter?

reporter

↓

The reporter is coming to write a puff piece

coming piece puff reporter write

↓

about our new women's initiative,

initiative womens

↓

which is, we're bringing women here

bringing women

↓

to make them feel comfortable.

comfortable

↓

Women are a totally untapped market.

market women

↓

For now, dude. We're about to tap 'em.

↓

Okay, none of that. No. We're going to corner the market for women.

corner market women

↓

We're gonna corner 'em?

corner

↓

No, no, no! We need to be better at talking to women when they come here.

women

↓

- I can make women comfortable. Easily. Okay. Okay.

comfortable easily women

↓

You do it. Watch. - So, hi, sir.

watch

↓

Sup?

↓

I'd like to get an oil change.

change

↓

Let's get you some lobsters and shrimp.

shrimp

↓

Why talk to me like that? I have a boyfriend.

boyfriend

↓

You got a boyfriend? He's making you bring your car in here?

boyfriend bring

↓

Sounds like it's a little, uh... a little shaky.

shaky sounds

↓

It's not shaky.

shaky

↓

Are you sure?

↓

You look good.

↓

I would treat you right.

treat

↓

Man like me, fine piece of ass like you--

piece

↓

Okay, guys.

↓

Cal, I need you to take some tires into the shop. And, Kilah...

shop tires

↓

Kilah, I need you to come out here and help move the tires into the back!

tires

↓

We're gonna make a woman lug tires into the back?

tires woman

↓

Women aren't mules, dude. They're not donkeys.

donkeys women

↓

I said no such thing as mules, donkeys, women.

donkeys women

↓

It's just Kilah. She works here. She's paid.

paid works

↓

I'd really like you to respect the initiative.

initiative respect

↓

I still don't know how we're supposed to respect the initiative.

initiative respect supposed

↓

It... it... it means that women feel comfortable coming here.

comfortable coming women

↓

And then the idea is--

idea

↓

We make 'em comfortable coming.

comfortable coming

↓

Don't!

↓

- Do not talk to the reporter. - It's gonna be a good day.

reporter

↓

Uh, yeah, I hope so.

hope

↓

I hope it's not a bad day. What do you think the worst day is?

hope worst

↓

The worst day? - Yeah.

worst

↓

I don't know. Probably the day the Jews were...

jews

↓

- Whoa! - What the fuck, man?

fuck whoa

↓

What the fuck are you talk... I was talking about Mondays.

fuck mondays

↓

I was Garfield.

garfield

↓

Oh.

↓

You're all set.

↓

Thank you for shopping at Valley Forge Automotive.

forge shopping valley

↓

We hope you felt comfortable the entire time, and we love you.

comfortable entire hope love

↓

Shane!

shane

↓

- How was that? - That was bad.

↓

You cannot be out here today when the reporter shows up.

cannot reporter shows today

↓

- That wasn't good? No.

↓

What about this next time...

↓

Welcome to Valley Forge.

forge valley welcome

↓

We want women to feel really comfortable and good and safe with us.

comfortable safe women

↓

Huh?

↓

Okay, that's kind of a good serial killer thing,

killer serial serial-killer

↓

but those are the types of jokes...

jokes types

↓

I don't know if the reporter will get those jokes.

jokes reporter

↓

All right. I won't go in there.

↓

Good.

↓

I might go in there.

might

↓

- Don't! - What if I go in there with you?

↓

Dude, she's fucking gay. She's a lesbian...

fucking lesbian

↓

Oh no. The wops.

↓

What's the matter with you?

matter

↓

The job is lesbianic, but her behavior towards me was not of a lesbian.

behavior lesbian

↓

That's her...

↓

Go around back!

↓

- Hey! Speaking of lesbos! - Hey!

speaking

↓

- Go around back! - Go around?

↓

Yes!

↓

All right. Okay.

↓

Thank you. Jesus!

jesus

↓

- Ah, here he is. - Hey, what the fuck was that all about?

fuck

↓

I'm sorry. I'm just trying to keep the customer area clear today.

area clear customer today

↓

Will's got a reporter coming today.

coming reporter today wills

↓

Nice, dude. - Is she hot?

↓

It's actually a guy.

↓

Oh shit, so it's serious.

serious

↓

- Congratulations. This is incredible. - That fucking rules.

congratulations fucking incredible rules

↓

- Thank you. Yeah. It's big for the shop.

shop

↓

No wops out front. It's a no-go zone for you guys.

front zone

↓

Treat it like a bath.

bath treat

↓

Oh! You guys hear our new commercial?

commercial

↓

Yeah.

↓

Come down to Andiamo Auto Sales! Our prices are low!

auto prices sales

↓

Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

↓

- [man 4] You name it, we got it! - Jesus!

jesus name

↓

Dude, turn that off.

↓

It's the best one you'll see...

best

↓

What the fuck was that?

fuck

↓

Really obnoxious.

obnoxious

↓

Loud, right?

loud

↓

Yeah, people fucking hate it.

fucking fucking-hate hate

↓

Yeah. We hated it. I hated it.

hated

↓

- Did you really? Yep.

↓

- But was it memorable? - It's all I've been thinking about.

memorable thinking

↓

Let's go!

↓

That's what I'm talking about. Mission accomplished.

accomplished mission mission-accomplished

↓

- Genius marketer. Thank you.

genius

↓

Speaking of chicks, wait till you see this fuckin' smoke.

chicks fuckin smoke speaking till

↓

Guys! - We just hired her.

hired

↓

- Look at those balboas. - Damn, dude.

↓

- Working the front desk. - Natural.

desk front natural working

↓

- Yeah, that's nice. - Nah, Will's actually more of an ass man.

wills

↓

Really?

↓

Ass man Willie.

↓

My boy! Hold on. I got something for him.

↓

Let me show you

↓

the greatest ass you've ever seen in your life.

greatest life seen

↓

Oh wow. That is... that's...

↓

I mean, that's a perfect, uh...

perfect

↓

- That's a perfect ass. - Yeah.

perfect

↓

- Have you had sex with her? - Nah, that's my cousin Claire.

claire cousin

↓

Yeah.

↓

Don't follow her like a pig, okay?

follow

↓

- I'm not gonna follow her! He's gonna follow her.

follow

↓

- Would you have sex with that woman? - Careful.

careful woman

↓

- Would I have sex with her-- Don't be rude.

rude

↓

Would you have sex with our cousin? Yes or no?

cousin

↓

You know, if it's not your cousin, I'd, you know, knock the bottom out of it.

bottom cousin knock

↓

- Whoa, dude. That's their cousin. - You can't be doing that.

cousin whoa

↓

I don't think you're getting the gist of this, which is--

↓

You would or wouldn't?

↓

They respectfully showed you their cousin's ass.

cousins respectfully showed

↓

Would you have sex with my cousin or not?

cousin

↓

Oh my God! What the...

↓

- Cal? - What the fuck?

fuck

↓

What did you do?

↓

Answer the question, Will!

answer question

↓

Yes, I would have sex with your cousin.

cousin

↓

- Was that that hard? - It was impossible!

hard impossible

↓

I was helping you, doofus!

helping

↓

Now we move on.

↓

My God!

↓

Well, it... I mean, doesn't look that bad.

↓

Are you joking? It's 20 different colors.

colors joking

↓

Dude, that's fucking bad. They might remove that foot.

foot fucking might remove

↓

Don't say that!

↓

We can go to the hospital. But here's the thing.

hospital

↓

You do do this all the time.

↓

You've used up all your sick days. Used up all your vacation days.

days sick used vacation

↓

I did look the other way after that Insane Clown Posse concert.

clown concert insane posse

↓

I couldn't get the fucking makeup off, okay?

fucking makeup

↓

Kilah, I need you to sit at the counter until the reporter's gone,

counter gone reporters

↓

then I'll take you to the hospital myself,

hospital

↓

but I want him to see that we make women feel comfortable here!

comfortable women

↓

All righty.

righty

↓

Hey. - Got your oil change in there.

change

↓

Awesome. - Guys are working on it.

awesome working

↓

- Great. - And again, you know, no charge on that.

charge

↓

Wow, okay. - Yeah.

↓

Thanks. That's very nice. You're not trying to bribe me, are you?

bribe thanks

↓

No! Obviously not. That's just...

obviously

↓

I mean, it just helps to know somebody.

helps somebody

↓

Don't. - What?

↓

Don't go in there. Just leave it alone.

alone

↓

- No. Just leave it alone.

alone

↓

Is the smell of tires usually this strong?

smell strong tires usually

↓

- Is it... is it strong? - Mm-hmm. It's very... Yeah.

strong

↓

- It's very common to have...

common

↓

The, um...

↓

- Am I gonna sit and work like an asshole? No, you could sweep up.

asshole sweep

↓

I could sweep? Am I a fucking poor asshole?

asshole fucking poor sweep

↓

The smell can be overwhelming.

overwhelming smell

↓

But if you go home, a little shampoo in the hair?

hair home shampoo

↓

It'll come right out.

itll

↓

I'm not gonna let the lamestream media try to fuck this shop up.

fuck media shop

↓

This is not the lamestream media. This is a guy who's probably an intern.

intern media

↓

Fucking journos in here.

fucking

↓

- He's not a journo. - Pissin' me off.

↓

Well, let's get started.

started

↓

You mind if I grab one of the mechanics, bring them in?

bring grab mind

↓

Why?

↓

I think it would just, you know, bring a better shape to the article.

article bring shape

↓

Uh, they're pretty busy out there. I mean--

busy

↓

I mean, it's five minutes. I don't think it should be a problem.

five five-minutes minutes problem

↓

- No. - I think it'd be nice.

↓

Okay.

↓

It's the thing I told you earlier. You didn't listen.

↓

What?

↓

- Are you guys ready to start? Yes.

ready start

↓

Yeah. - Yeah? I'm not interrupting?

interrupting

↓

No!

↓

All right. Well, why don't you start by telling me about the new initiative?

initiative start telling

↓

Absolutely. So the initiative here

absolutely initiative

↓

is that we are going to attract more women to the shop.

attract shop women

↓

Need mo' shorties.

↓

Excuse me?

excuse

↓

Shouties... shorties. It... it just means women.

women

↓

- So, you know, shop parlance. Stop. Got it.

shop

↓

One of the things we're gonna do

↓

is make women feel more comfortable in an industry,

comfortable industry women

↓

this is pretty interesting,

interesting

↓

that typically doesn't make women feel comfortable.

comfortable typically women

↓

And how do you plan on making them feel more comfortable?

comfortable plan

↓

Um... Well, there's, uh...

↓

Massage.

massage

↓

What?

↓

It was your idea. Nuru massages.

idea

↓

I'm sorry. Is that supposed to be funny?

funny supposed

↓

What do you mean? Yes, me giving customers Nuru massages is definitely funny.

customers funny giving

↓

Damn.

↓

All right. My bad, dude.

↓

His bad, okay? Whoops!

whoops

↓

But anyway, listen, let's just focus because you were asking me

asking focus

↓

how do we make women feel comfortable here,

comfortable women

↓

and one of the ways is the signs.

signs ways

↓

- I don't know if you saw? Yeah.

↓

Do you think by putting up pink signs, women will feel more comfortable?

comfortable pink putting signs women

↓

Is that what you thought?

↓

No, no, no. It's way more complicated than that.

complicated

↓

It just seems a little reductive.

seems

↓

It does seem reductive, now he's saying it.

↓

It's not reductive!

↓

Okay. So, pink posters.

pink posters

↓

Do you have anything else, like... Do you have a plan, or is this maybe--

plan

↓

Of course there's a plan.

course plan

↓

Only a fucking idiot would set this meeting up and not have a plan--

fucking fucking-idiot idiot meeting plan

↓

Shane, I'm trying to explain the plan, which is... which is... which is...

explain plan shane

↓

hiring more women... like Kilah.

hiring women

↓

So that woman?

woman

↓

You hired her?

hired

↓

Yeah, and... and... this is the new face of the auto repair industry.

auto face industry repair

↓

New face and tits.

face tits

↓

Okay. What's your name?

name

↓

Shane. 6'3". Two-forty.

forty shane

↓

- He's my cousin. Okay.

cousin

↓

Okay, and there's no need to be writing any of that down.

writing

↓

No, no, no.

↓

I've been in your paper. You might remember me.

might paper remember

↓

Is that right?

↓

2006. All Catholic League. Football. St. Mary's. Defensive end.

catholic defensive football league marys

↓

First team?

team

↓

No, I was actually honorable mention.

honorable mention

↓

Now, that's funny!

funny

↓

Okay. Wait. - What the fuck's funny about that?

fucks funny

↓

I came all the way out here from the paper--

paper

↓

You drove all the way down here from the big paper...

drove paper

↓

You drove all the way down here from the big paper. Thank you.

drove paper

↓

Yeah, and it seems like this is one big joke.

joke seems

↓

It's no joke!

joke

↓

- It's no joke! Extra! Extra!

extra joke

↓

Broads are getting hired down at the shop!

broads hired shop

↓

That's good. That's a good headline for you. You could use that.

↓

I'm not taking headline advice from someone who changes tires for a living.

advice changes living tires

↓

Ooh!

↓

Oklahoma drill right now. You and me in the shop.

drill oklahoma shop

↓

- I'll put you through a fuckin' wall. - That's enough.

fuckin wall

↓

- Sit down!

↓

- Somebody get the phone! - How long have you worked here?

phone somebody worked

↓

- How long have I worked here? Yes.

worked

↓

Well, you know, there's a ton of different ways to...

ways

↓

Kilah, can you please get the phone? Kilah!

phone

↓

By the way, have you seen the flowers I put out?

flowers seen

↓

I saw them. - And I got a question for you.

question

↓

- How long have you been a reporter? Nine years.

nine reporter years

↓

I have a question. How long have you known ligma?

known question

↓

What's ligma?

↓

- Lick my balls, dumbass.

balls dumbass lick

↓

I can't believe you didn't get that. Kilah! Get the phone!

believe phone

↓

What are you writing? I yell at her all the time.

writing yell

↓

Valley Forge Auto. This is Will. How can I help you?

auto forge valley

↓

Zip it, dickwad. You're in deep shit.

deep

↓

Your dad is pissed off.

pissed

↓

Hello, Dave. Can I actually call you back in two minutes?

dave minutes

↓

No. Talk to me now.

↓

- Great! I'll talk to you in a sec. What are you talking about?

↓

- Bye-bye. Don't hang up on--

hang

↓

All right. Let's just take five. Okay?

five

↓

Shane, you go back out to the shop, and I will go call that gentleman back.

gentleman shane shop

↓

Then I'll come back in here, and you and I will start the interview on the record.

interview record start

↓

This was on the record.

record

↓

Hey, is my car almost ready?

ready

↓

Why the fuck did you order 500 tires from True Thread?

fuck order thread tires

↓

- Well... - Just admit you fucked up.

admit fucked

↓

Is that why you called me? To hear me say I fucked up?

called fucked

↓

Because I did get a huge discount buying in bulk.

bulk buying discount huge

↓

You didn't know there was a discount till after you bought 'em, dickhead.

bought dickhead discount till

↓

Yeah. Well, they didn't know that mold on bread, uh, would be

bread mold

↓

an antibiotic, uh...

↓

You know. Is my dad there?

↓

Well, he's not here, so I'm in charge.

charge

↓

If my dad's not there, he's still in charge.

charge dads

↓

There's a chain of command. What if something happened to your father?

chain command father happened

↓

If something happened,

happened

↓

my mother and I would still have to settle his affairs.

affairs mother settle

↓

God forbid.

forbid

↓

Is that what you're trying to do?

↓

Trying to kill your father?

father kill

↓

Take over this business in a palace coup situation?

business coup palace situation

↓

Do you think you're Uday Hussein?

hussein

↓

I wanted to kill that fucking guy.

fucking kill wanted

↓

It's okay. Don't worry about it. I'll fix it.

worry

↓

- I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. Okay.

↓

You forgive me? - Yes.

forgive

↓

I wanna fix it with us, dude.

↓

- Okay, shut up. I'm on the phone. - I know what you like.

phone

↓

You can't manage the guys in your shop, let alone...

alone manage shop

↓

Return the tires!

return tires

↓

Dave, I can't just return them because there's a massive restocking fee.

dave massive return

↓

So what I'm thinking is

thinking

↓

we come up with a marketing initiative...

initiative marketing

↓

Will, come on. You've been working here for two months.

months working

↓

All of a sudden, you think you're Don Draper?

sudden

↓

- Come on! - You need to focus on your leadership.

focus leadership

↓

Not spending thousands you don't have.

spending thousands

↓

- You love your cousin sucking your dick.

cousin dick love sucking

↓

I'm sorry, is something funny, Will?

funny

↓

Yes, kinda!

kinda

↓

Fuck. - I'll open the door for you.

door fuck open

↓

I'm hanging up now.

hanging

↓

Don't spend another fucking dime

another dime fucking spend

↓

unless you clear it by me and your dad first, okay?

clear

↓

I want you to finish for me!

finish

↓

Fucking idiot. I swear to God.

fucking fucking-idiot idiot swear

↓

Good morning. Do you mind if I ask you a few questions about the shop?

mind morning questions shop

↓

Sure.

↓

When Will hired you,

hired

↓

did he mention his initiative or explain anything about it?

explain initiative mention

↓

What? No. Will didn't hire me. His dad did.

hire

↓

Oh.

↓

I got transferred from the main store 'cause I called a customer a fag.

called customer main store transferred

↓

Okay, so...

↓

You got a wife?

wife

↓

- No, I have a girlfriend. - That's not what I asked.

asked girlfriend

↓

- Fuck, Kilah! - Don't you take notes for a living?

fuck living notes

↓

- Sorry we got off on the wrong-- - Did you not hire this woman?

hire woman

↓

Well, technically,

technically

↓

no, but my dad did, and I am my father's son--

fathers

↓

But you said you did.

↓

Okay, you're mixing up my words.

mixing words

↓

Also, she said you wouldn't let her leave after being injured.

injured

↓

Well, she's an alcoholic, so...

alcoholic

↓

Look, why don't we go back in my office so we can sort this out?

office

↓

- Let's go back to my office and re-talk. - No. Look, I have my story, okay?

office story

↓

I mean, it's still a lighthearted puff piece, right?

lighthearted piece puff

↓

Right?

↓

No!

↓

When my car is ready, let me know.

ready

↓

Well, I totally fucked up.

fucked

↓

It'll be all right. Or it won't.

itll

↓

I... I don't know what you were thinking.

thinking

↓

Uh-oh!

↓

What a mistake.

mistake

↓

- I know. - Everyone knew what you were doing.

↓

You were trying to get some pussy in here, which is actually pretty chill.

chill pussy

↓

You shouldn't have gone in there.

gone

↓

Want me to fix it?

↓

Yes.

↓

Admit you're a dirty little pervert.

admit dirty pervert

↓

- Okay, I'm a dirty little pervert. - Ew, dude.

dirty pervert

↓

Shane! You know...

shane

↓

I can help you.

↓

How?

↓

I'm not gonna teach you my ways. You just have to trust me.

teach trust ways

↓

That feels like a trap.

feels trap

↓

It's not a trap, dude. I promise.

promise trap

↓

Also,

↓

can't get any worse.

worse

↓

It could.

↓

I bet it could.

↓

I'm certain it could.

certain

↓

It's not going to get worse. I'm gonna take care of this.

care worse

↓

Why did you do that with your eyebrows?

eyebrows

↓

Do what?

↓

Hey, mind if we chat?

chat mind

↓

One minute. I promise.

minute promise

↓

I know it's been a weird day.

weird

↓

I wanna say I'm sorry. I'm sorry about that.

↓

It's been...

↓

it's been wild.

wild

↓

And I want you to know I do think Will has the best intentions.

best intentions

↓

And the truth is, we do want women here.

truth women

↓

We want women to feel comfortable here, you know?

comfortable women

↓

There's not a garage for miles that women feel comfortable at.

comfortable garage miles women

↓

It's gotta suck. You come in here. You need help.

suck

↓

You gotta talk to the dumbest fucking guys on earth.

dumbest earth fucking

↓

And we want them to feel comfortable. We do. We wanna be that change.

change comfortable

↓

Well, I appreciate your apology.

apology appreciate

↓

I think that is... noble.

noble

↓

Yeah.

↓

And I wanna say I'm sorry. I was acting... I was kinda being a dick.

acting dick kinda

↓

Truth is, I was just...

truth

↓

I was upset because,

upset

↓

originally, this was all... this was my idea.

idea originally

↓

Right?

↓

Yes.

↓

It was my idea.

idea

↓

- It was a bad idea. - Well...

idea

↓

And I gotta come to terms with that,

terms

↓

that most of the ideas I have are very fucking dumb.

dumb fucking ideas

↓

I think you're being a little hard on yourself.

hard

↓

These ideas are really tough to come up with.

ideas tough

↓

These are, and I mean this,

↓

and I hate to beat myself up like this in front of you guys,

beat front hate

↓

some of the dumbest fucking ideas, consistently.

dumbest fucking ideas

↓

Look at that sign. I came up with that. "You'll go, girl."

girl sign

↓

I think you did a great job with it.

↓

I think that's... insane behavior.

behavior insane

↓

What the fuck was I thinking? I'm a fucking idiot.

fuck fucking fucking-idiot idiot thinking

↓

Honestly, one of my problems is I haven't...

problems

↓

I haven't had sex in, like, a decade.

decade

↓

No.

↓

- Yeah. - I think you had sex recently.

recently

↓

Remember, you told everybody?

everybody remember

↓

No, I told everyone, but I was lying.

lying

↓

And... everyone I told that to knew I was lying.

lying

↓

I can hear them. They talk. I hear them.

↓

They make fun of me because of how blatant the lie was.

fun

↓

They knew?

↓

Oh yeah.

↓

They knew.

↓

- Anyway, what I'm trying to say...

↓

Oh no, the wops.

↓

- The wops! - What?

↓

Ass man Willie, let me tell you something. We have some fantastic news.

fantastic news

↓

- Guys. - Will! Will! Hey, pal.

↓

You're never gonna believe this. That woman we hired with the perfect tits?

believe hired perfect tits woman

↓

She also has an OnlyFans and a perfect ass.

perfect

↓

Look at that right there.

↓

- Who? What do you mean "who"?

↓

What are you doing?

↓

The girl with the tits that we hired also happens to have a fantastic ass!

fantastic girl happens hired tits

↓

You love perfect asses!

asses love perfect

↓

I'm outta here. - No, no! Wait!

outta

↓

Take my fucking car down.

fucking

↓

If you give me a few minutes-- - He almost had me.

minutes

↓

I had you, pussy.

pussy

↓

I was gonna let all this shit go, but not now.

↓

Come on! It's just a puff piece!

piece puff

↓

Is this the reporter?

reporter

↓

Yes, it's the reporter. Just write a nice piece, please.

piece reporter write

↓

No! I don't have to do that. I don't.

↓

And you guys don't even advertise with us, so it's not like I have to kiss your ass.

kiss

↓

Wait. What would make you have to kiss our ass?

kiss

↓

What?

↓

Well, I had to buy four months of ad space.

four four-months months space

↓

And the price of the ad is dependent on the size of it.

dependent price size

↓

And these are going to be enormous.

enormous

↓

Sometimes, you gotta spend money to make money.

money sometimes spend

↓

And in this case, I was sort of forced to spend money.

case forced money spend

↓

But we'll make--

↓

Dave? Fuck.

dave fuck

↓

♪ Oh, I was walkin' on Walkin' by myself ♪

walkin

↓

♪ The Lord done came to me And asked me for my help ♪

asked lord

↓

♪ Well, maybe once I'd called I was blinded by the light ♪

called light

↓

♪ And asked me for a ride 'Cause there's a tractor show tonight ♪

asked ride tonight tractor

↓

♪ Just meet me at the bar 'Cause I'll be there at noon ♪

meet noon

↓

♪ And beer is like my life You'll see it empty soon ♪

beer empty life

↓

♪ Drivin's just too hard Forget about all that ♪

forget hard

↓

♪ It's time for me to go ♪

↓

♪ You know I'm walkin' back soon ♪

walkin

↓

♪ I won't catch hell ♪

catch