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It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
» S11E10 — The Gang Goes to Hell (2)
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Season 11, Episode 10 — The Gang Goes to Hell (2)
All right, so there we were. We're in the brig
#1
⇓
and the whole ship just, you know, bumps.
#2
⇓
- We get thrown against the wall. - Yeah.
#3
⇓
- The sirens are blaring. - Whoa.
#5
⇓
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
#6
⇓
How did we get in the brig in the first place?
#7
⇓
I'm very cloudy about the beginning.
#9
⇓
- Recap? - A recap would be good, you know?
#11
⇓
Just to brush up on everything that happened.
#12
⇓
- A recap... - Now, see, I forgot that.
#13
⇓
...honestly might be good because
#14
⇓
we want him to be completely clear before the final judgment.
#15
⇓
- All right, you know... - Right, yeah.
#16
⇓
...the amount of energy we're using talking
#17
⇓
we may as well just recap, so fine.
#19
⇓
There we were. We're on a Christian cruise.
#20
⇓
We were all thrown in the brig for various sins that we committed.
#21
⇓
asking for forgiveness.
#24
⇓
My thing, not a rape.
#25
⇓
Move on, you're losing him.
#26
⇓
- Move on, you're losing him. - I just want to be clear.
#27
⇓
- Okay, yeah. - I just wanted to be clear.
#28
⇓
What the hell is that? What're those sirens for?
#29
⇓
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
#30
⇓
I knew I shouldn't have come on this cruise.
#31
⇓
I knew it! I mean, it used to be I would never even leave Philly!
#32
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And then, you know, you guys drag me into this,
#33
⇓
you drag me into that, and next thing I know,
#34
⇓
How do you know it's not...
#37
⇓
Well... Oh.
#38
⇓
There you go. It stopped.
#39
⇓
All right, uh, I guess that's good.
#40
⇓
Like, if something went wrong,
#41
⇓
they come down here, they'd get us, right?
#42
⇓
You know what, guys, what difference does it make?
#43
⇓
You know?
#44
⇓
Life is just a series of events
#45
⇓
with no meaning or plan, you know?
#46
⇓
It's like, we live, we die,
#47
⇓
we're gay, we're straight, we're tops, we're bottoms.
#48
⇓
Wait, wait. Calm down, everybody.
#49
⇓
Well, you sure? Like, I don't think we're moving.
#51
⇓
We're moving. I can hear the engine buzzing like crazy.
#52
⇓
No, I think Charlie's right.
#53
⇓
I don't think that we're moving, and besides,
#54
⇓
the buzzing would be, like, an electrical system.
#55
⇓
You know? The engine sounds more like...
#56
⇓
It's got like a big, deep sound, it's like a...
#58
⇓
Yeah, if you're starting the engine, but, like,
#59
⇓
Gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah, gah...
#61
⇓
No, you guys are all wrong.
#62
⇓
No, boats are mostly computerized these days,
#63
⇓
so the engine barely makes any noise at all.
#64
⇓
I mean, they make a fake noise
#65
⇓
to make people feel better, but it's like...
#66
⇓
But it's fake, it's not real, you know?
#67
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It's kind of like how I carry a little piece of onion
#68
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around with me to elicit tears, you know,
#69
⇓
in case someone needs me to feel something
#70
⇓
about what they said or are doing, you know what I mean?
#71
⇓
Do you have an onion in your pocket right now?
#72
⇓
No, I'm taking a vacation from myself.
#73
⇓
Was it a vacation from hearing, okay?
#74
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'Cause if the engine was going, we would hear a gah, gah, gah,
#75
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- gah, gah, gah, gah... - Are you deaf, Charlie?
#76
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I was like...
#77
⇓
- All right, okay! - I mean, that's ridiculous!
#78
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All right, all right!
#79
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Goddamn! Okay, look.
#80
⇓
Let's just... Let's all agree
#81
⇓
that it doesn't sound like a speedboat
#82
⇓
or something that's off-roading, all right?
#83
⇓
It does make a little bit of a buzz. Yeah?
#84
⇓
But most modern ships these days, their engines,
#85
⇓
they don't make a lot of noise,
#86
⇓
but they do make a little bit of noise.
#87
⇓
Can we all just agree on this?
#88
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- Yeah. - Fine, I can live with that.
#89
⇓
- Fine, I can live with it. - Fine.
#90
⇓
How long have we been talking about this?
#92
⇓
Four hours, six minutes.
#93
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Well, there's some pros and some cons, guys.
#94
⇓
We've cut our conflict resolution time in half.
#95
⇓
Four hours, that's good for us.
#96
⇓
- That's huge. - Good work.
#97
⇓
Charlie's right, the ship is probably not moving
#98
⇓
because we definitely would've been in the Bahamas by now.
#99
⇓
What?
#100
⇓
- Yep. - Oh.
#101
⇓
Well, that's not good, right?
#102
⇓
No. It's not good.
#103
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I mean, four hours?
#104
⇓
- Well... - The boat not moving!
#105
⇓
No one comes down to say anything like,
#106
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No, they've forgotten about us!
#108
⇓
And we're gonna die in here! Oh, my God, I'm freaking out.
#109
⇓
- We got to get out of here. Help! - Whoa, Charlie.
#110
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- Calm down, Charlie. - Help!
#111
⇓
- Help us! - Charlie!
#112
⇓
- You got to help! - Hey! Hey!
#113
⇓
Oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi!
#114
⇓
Mmm, yep, yep, yep. Mmm.
#115
⇓
- Wow. - Yeah?
#116
⇓
- Yep. - Oi, oi, oi.
#117
⇓
What was that, dude? You sound like a soccer hooligan.
#118
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Yeah, that's just something I've been doing
#119
⇓
with Charlie lately when he gets a little wound up.
#120
⇓
You know, it seems to work.
#121
⇓
- Say yup, yup, yup. - That's good.
#122
⇓
The most important thing for us to do now
#123
⇓
is to keep our wits together.
#124
⇓
Why don't we play a few games?
#126
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No! I just wanted to get away from you guys, just for a few days.
#127
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Now we're stuck in a box,
#128
⇓
and you're gonna play some games now?
#129
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- What? - What the hell do you mean you're out?
#131
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- I'm out. Nobody talk to me. - No, Dee.
#132
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That's not a very good idea.
#133
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You know, when my dad was in solitary confinement,
#134
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I used to write to him every day to see how it was.
#135
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He never wrote back, but if he did, he would've said,
#136
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"Son, you've got to keep your mind active.
#137
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Also, I love you."
#138
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Are you sure he wouldn't say,
#139
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"Remind me who you are again"?
#140
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Ho!
#141
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That was great! That was Luther!
#142
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- My dad knows who I am. - Yeah.
#143
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Hey, do the voice again, but this time say,
#144
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- "I love you, son." - Nah.
#145
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- Oh. - But, no,
#146
⇓
like any kind of impressions you got, like any kind of...
#148
⇓
You want to hear me do a couple of impressions?
#149
⇓
That'd be fun. Yeah, okay, so let's see.
#150
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All right, so let me know which ones you want to hear.
#151
⇓
I'm sorry, Dee, I thought you were sitting out.
#152
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I was out, but then these guys wanted to hear
#153
⇓
some impressions, and since I'm always wanting to be of service,
#154
⇓
- here I am. - They don't want to hear your impressions.
#155
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- They want to hear my impressions. - No.
#156
⇓
Your impressions are terrible.
#157
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Are you out of your mind? No.
#158
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My impressions are fantastic.
#159
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Do Obama.
#161
⇓
Obama? Well, I can't do that.
#162
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- Why not? - Why can't you do Obama?
#163
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'Cause he's a black man and I'm a white woman.
#164
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Can you give me a white woman?
#165
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You think I can't do a black woman? I mean...
#166
⇓
- No. - I... okay, give me... Name one.
#167
⇓
C.C.H. Pounder.
#168
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- Who's that? - C.C.H. Poun...
#169
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The actress from The Shield.
#170
⇓
Love that show. Okay. No, I can do that.
#171
⇓
Let's see.
#172
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God damn it, Dutch!
#173
⇓
What other errands do you have us running for the D.A.?
#174
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- Wow! - Holy shit!
#175
⇓
That was great!
#176
⇓
That was spot-on!
#177
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- Thanks, man. - "Spot-on"?
#178
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You don't even know who she is, Frank.
#179
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I just assumed she's a no-nonsense black broad from the precinct.
#180
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That's exactly who she is.
#181
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Fine, fine. I'll do Obama, okay?
#182
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Okay, what do you got?
#183
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- Oh! - Oh!
#186
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- Oh, my God, Dee. - That is bad!
#187
⇓
What are you doing?
#188
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That was so racist.
#189
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- Are you kidding me? - Very racist!
#190
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Deandra, he is the president of the United States.
#191
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- That's our president. - Well, hold on a second.
#192
⇓
Why was that racist, but what he did was fine?
#193
⇓
Uh... okay, well, you know, I... I'm just warming up.
#195
⇓
Let me... Let me try again. Um...
#196
⇓
Hey, yo, where my senators at, dawg?
#197
⇓
Oh!
#198
⇓
Oi, oi, oi, oi! Oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi!
#199
⇓
I'm gonna have lots of these types of functions
#201
⇓
in the future, you know, with my new lifestyle.
#202
⇓
Wow, you're really just diving right into that, huh?
#203
⇓
Just, stereotypes and all.
#204
⇓
- We are gonna have an imaginary meal. - Mmm.
#205
⇓
I read about this. Yes.
#206
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- That's true. - Okay.
#208
⇓
Can I have a broad with me with big tits?
#209
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No, because that's gonna force us
#210
⇓
to imagine things that we don't want to imagine.
#211
⇓
- Good point. - So get rid of my dog?
#212
⇓
Yeah, no dogs.
#213
⇓
Go! Go! Hey, get out of here!
#214
⇓
- Don't kick it. - Get!
#215
⇓
Our house? Why's it our house?
#217
⇓
Let me set the scene: the food.
#219
⇓
- The menu. - Ooh, yeah, start with the...
#220
⇓
Paint a nice picture for us. I'm starving.
#222
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You're gonna start with a big hunk of chicken.
#223
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You know, boiled and skinless, or whatever.
#224
⇓
Huh. Okay.
#225
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And then, um, you're gonna want brown with the white, right?
#226
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So, like, maybe, like, um, some, like, brown rice.
#227
⇓
No... No butter or... Or seasoning or...
#228
⇓
- Really? - I want mashed potatoes.
#229
⇓
No, no mashed potatoes, that's just empty carbs.
#230
⇓
Why can't we just imagine whatever we want?
#231
⇓
Because this is my dinner party.
#232
⇓
- Well, then take us there! - Yeah!
#233
⇓
All right! Everybody's got something to drink.
#234
⇓
- Is it a milkshake? - No!
#235
⇓
No, not milkshakes. Gatorade.
#236
⇓
"Blue" is not a flavor.
#238
⇓
How am I gonna taste blue?
#239
⇓
Well, just imagine what blue tastes like.
#240
⇓
It just tastes like blue.
#241
⇓
- Let's just dig in. - Yeah, can we eat?
#242
⇓
All right.
#244
⇓
Mine's kind of tough. Did you overcook this?
#245
⇓
No, I didn't cook it at all.
#246
⇓
You...
#247
⇓
Spit it out! It's raw! You're gonna get sick!
#248
⇓
What are you guys doing? You don't need to spit it out.
#250
⇓
For the love of God. Just imagine that it tastes good, okay?
#251
⇓
Look at Dennis, see?
#252
⇓
Oh, I'm not... I'm not imagining your meal.
#253
⇓
Braised with lardons and mushrooms.
#255
⇓
- I want that! - Yeah.
#256
⇓
Well, then have it... It's right in front of you.
#257
⇓
Ah, come here, baby.
#259
⇓
Oh, hey!
#260
⇓
She got her foot in my raw chicken!
#261
⇓
- Get your hooker's foot out of my chicken! - No, no, no, no.
#262
⇓
- No dates, no coq au vin, no hookers. - Get it out of my chicken!
#263
⇓
- Stop ruining this! - I'm not ruining it.
#264
⇓
Oh, this? It's the sound of my blender cranking milkshakes.
#266
⇓
- I'll take a milkshake. - I'll have one... Sounds good.
#268
⇓
- I'll take one. - That is not what blenders sound like.
#269
⇓
- Hey! - What are you doing?
#271
⇓
I'm flipping the table! Smash! Crash!
#272
⇓
Now I'm breaking a plate! Boom! Smash!
#273
⇓
What the hell, dude?
#274
⇓
- Oh, that was uncalled for. - That's nice.
#275
⇓
Nothing is working, all right?
#276
⇓
You know what, I want you guys to just...
#277
⇓
Everybody just be quiet.
#278
⇓
Why don't we just try not talking for a while?
#279
⇓
- I'm fine with that. - Yeah.
#280
⇓
- Shh! - Of course.
#282
⇓
Yeah.
#283
⇓
Okay.
#285
⇓
Okay.
#286
⇓
Ha!
#287
⇓
Well, that was lame.
#288
⇓
- So stupid. - So stu...
#289
⇓
I hated that show, Stomp.
#290
⇓
- Ugh, I hate rhythm. - Hang on. Hang on.
#291
⇓
Dee, what was that?
#292
⇓
I thought we were all doing, like, a Stomp thing or something.
#293
⇓
That bench, you opened that bench.
#294
⇓
- What's inside there? - Oh.
#295
⇓
- That opens? - Yes.
#296
⇓
- Maybe there's food in there. - Is there food in there?
#297
⇓
Uh, no, just... Just this water gun.
#298
⇓
That's not a water gun, man, that's a flare gun,
#299
⇓
which I'll hold onto for safekeeping.
#300
⇓
Uh... Why?
#301
⇓
Well, because I'm the most responsible person.
#302
⇓
Uh, guys, I don't think any of us should have a gun.
#303
⇓
- Yeah. - Yeah.
#304
⇓
Well, one of us does, so... the end.
#305
⇓
Charlie, let me have the gun.
#306
⇓
Back up, Frank. Don't come close to me.
#307
⇓
- Charlie, calm down. - "Calm down, Charlie"?
#308
⇓
We're trapped on a sinking ship, okay?
#309
⇓
We're gonna die in here.
#310
⇓
I don't know what you guys are capable of.
#311
⇓
I will hold the gun, thank you very much.
#312
⇓
Wait a second, Charlie, the boat's not sinking, okay?
#313
⇓
- It's just stopped. - It's okay.
#314
⇓
Everything's gonna be all right as long as everybody remains calm.
#315
⇓
What the hell is that?
#316
⇓
Oh, my God!
#317
⇓
What's going on? What was that?
#318
⇓
Oh, this is bad. This is really bad.
#319
⇓
All right. Let's think.
#320
⇓
If the room's on its side,
#321
⇓
does that mean the boat's on its side?
#322
⇓
Yeah, that's what it means! What are you talking about?
#323
⇓
I don't know how boats this big work. All right.
#324
⇓
- Help us! - This is bad!
#325
⇓
This is very bad!
#326
⇓
We got to get up there and try that door again.
#327
⇓
Maybe that lodged something loose.
#328
⇓
Get up there? How are we supposed to reach?
#329
⇓
Oh! What about a human pyramid?
#330
⇓
Yes. Yes, Mac, a human pyramid.
#331
⇓
All right, you and I will be the bottoms.
#332
⇓
Why? 'Cause I'm gay?
#333
⇓
No, not because you're gay, dumbass!
#334
⇓
Because we're the strongest.
#335
⇓
- God damn it. - All right, and, Frank, Charlie,
#336
⇓
you'll be on us.
#337
⇓
Dee, you'll be on the very top.
#338
⇓
- Okay. - I'll be a bottom now,
#339
⇓
but in real life, just to be clear, I'm gonna be a top.
#340
⇓
Okay, fine, when you're having gay sex, you can be on the top.
#341
⇓
But for now we're on the bottom.
#342
⇓
Damn it, the door is locked!
#343
⇓
We're done for! We're gonna die in here!
#344
⇓
- Frank, get yourself together! - We're gonna die in here!
#345
⇓
- Stop losing your shit! - All right, relax!
#346
⇓
- Nobody's dying! - That's right.
#347
⇓
Just listen to Charlie, he seems to have his head straight. Calm down.
#348
⇓
'Cause we're already dead.
#349
⇓
Come again?
#350
⇓
I figured it out.
#351
⇓
We're dead. We died.
#352
⇓
I don't know when it happened.
#353
⇓
It might have happened on the cruise ship.
#354
⇓
It might have happened on the drive to the cruise ship.
#355
⇓
You were going awful fast, Dennis.
#356
⇓
I don't know.
#357
⇓
Maybe it happened weeks ago in the bar,
#358
⇓
in some sort of colossal and awesome event, I would imagine,
#359
⇓
but we're dead, and we're in hell.
#360
⇓
We're just being toyed with here.
#361
⇓
Maybe we're not in hell yet.
#362
⇓
Maybe this is purgatory,
#363
⇓
and we're on our way to be judged.
#364
⇓
And soon, oh, boy.
#365
⇓
Soon, we'll really be in hell.
#366
⇓
Won't that be something.
#367
⇓
Charlie, calm down. It's gonna be fine, okay?
#368
⇓
We can't be freaking out every five minutes.
#369
⇓
Now, look, if we work together, everything's gonna be fine.
#370
⇓
We're gonna get out of here.
#371
⇓
Nah, we're already dead.
#372
⇓
I'll prove it.
#373
⇓
No!
#374
⇓
I think he's coming to.
#375
⇓
Oh, shit, that hurt.
#376
⇓
Easy.
#377
⇓
Well, I guess that means we're alive, huh?
#378
⇓
Yeah, guess we are, Charlie.
#379
⇓
Good, well, then maybe everything's gonna be okay.
#380
⇓
Pal, we're in deep shit here.
#381
⇓
- Oh, shit! - Take it easy.
#382
⇓
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Take it easy.
#383
⇓
It's not good. It's not good.
#384
⇓
- Oh. - As long as, um,
#385
⇓
we're not gonna get out of here...
#386
⇓
And it looks like that's sort of where this is headed...
#387
⇓
Is it okay if I just confess something,
#388
⇓
get it off my chest before we die?
#389
⇓
That's a good idea.
#390
⇓
We shouldn't die holding things in about ourselves.
#391
⇓
Go ahead, Dee.
#392
⇓
Mac owns a Cowboys jersey.
#393
⇓
I saw him wearing it in the back office.
#394
⇓
- What? - Uh... What?
#395
⇓
That's a secret, Dee! What are you...
#396
⇓
- Don't say it's Romo. - Of course it's Romo!
#397
⇓
- Who else would it be? - Oh, my God!
#398
⇓
I'm sorry.
#399
⇓
You don't think he deserves to be MVP?
#400
⇓
- You son of a bitch. - He's constantly overlooked!
#401
⇓
You are a traitor!
#402
⇓
- How many Super Bowls have the Birds won? - Oh, shut up!
#403
⇓
Go Birds!
#404
⇓
- Oi, oi, oi! - Okay, you know what?
#405
⇓
I've got something I want to confess.
#406
⇓
Charlie changes Frank's prescription on his glasses
#407
⇓
to keep Frank dependent on him.
#408
⇓
Whoa! Why the hell you blowin' up my spot, man?
#409
⇓
- What? - Uh, I'm sorry, Frank.
#410
⇓
All right, fine. Well, as long as we're "tattling,"
#411
⇓
uh, Dennis ripped up all the letters
#412
⇓
that your dad wrote from prison, so... you know.
#413
⇓
What? My dad has been writing? Dennis, is that true?
#414
⇓
Yeah, man, but you were just gonna be talking about it all the time,
#415
⇓
and then your dad was probably gonna come to our house
#416
⇓
and, like, try to kill us or eat our butts.
#417
⇓
You know? I'm trying to protect you, dude! And me.
#418
⇓
Does he still write?
#419
⇓
Well, no, pal, 'cause you never wrote him back.
#420
⇓
But, hey, if it makes you feel any better,
#421
⇓
I read all those letters,
#422
⇓
and he never once said that he loved you.
#423
⇓
He just mostly wanted you to send him
#424
⇓
pornographic magazines and put drugs in your butthole.
#425
⇓
I can't believe this. I...
#426
⇓
I could've had a relationship with my dad.
#427
⇓
But you ruined it.
#428
⇓
Normally, I would attack you, but... I... I don't have any fight left.
#429
⇓
Wow.
#430
⇓
Well, shit, man. I... I... I hurt ya.
#431
⇓
I can see that.
#432
⇓
And, uh... you know, it was... It was wrong of me.
#433
⇓
Oh, God, I'll tell you...
#434
⇓
I see how much pain you're in right now.
#435
⇓
It's just...
#436
⇓
...it's tearing me up inside.
#437
⇓
Jesus, Dennis, you're crying.
#438
⇓
Well, yeah.
#439
⇓
I mean, you've turned me into a blubbering fool here,
#440
⇓
because I've hurt...
#441
⇓
not just my friend...
#442
⇓
...but my brother.
#443
⇓
I've hurt my brother.
#444
⇓
- Onion! - Onion!
#445
⇓
- I just saw it! He's got an onion there! - Aw, I knew it!
#446
⇓
- He's got an onion! - You are such an asshole. I...
#447
⇓
Now I gotta tell you!
#448
⇓
I got a confession.
#449
⇓
- What is it, Frank? - I was at Chappaquiddick.
#450
⇓
The girl, Teddy Kennedy,
#451
⇓
the bridge, the car...
#452
⇓
I played a major role.
#453
⇓
Jesus, Frank, we're not doing confessions.
#454
⇓
We're doing tattling. Keep up.
#455
⇓
You know what? That's all right.
#456
⇓
Guys, let's stop fighting, okay?
#457
⇓
No more confessions, no more tattling on each other, all right?
#458
⇓
Look, guys, let's just try to enjoy
#459
⇓
these last moments we've got together.
#460
⇓
Okay? Or these last hours.
#461
⇓
Or, hell... it could even be days.
#462
⇓
God, we're gonna drown.
#463
⇓
I'm too young to drown!
#464
⇓
We should die thinking good thoughts.
#465
⇓
- Yeah. - For me,
#466
⇓
that's Romo connecting with Dez Bryant.
#467
⇓
- Oh, stop it! - You traitor!
#468
⇓
- You son of a bitch! - Shut your mouth!
#469
⇓
Guys, don't fight. Don't fight, come on.
#470
⇓
Oh, we're not good people, we can't even die peacefully.
#471
⇓
Yeah.
#472
⇓
Amazing grace
#473
⇓
How sweet the sauce...
#474
⇓
- Sauce? - That made...
#475
⇓
It's not "sauce."
#476
⇓
Look, you gotta get the words right,
#477
⇓
otherwise Jesus is gonna know we're trying to trick him.
#478
⇓
Jesus isn't gonna listen to us.
#479
⇓
He's just not, 'cause we're bad people.
#480
⇓
But if he's gonna listen to anybody, he might listen to Mac.
#481
⇓
Mac, you've been talking to him your whole life.
#482
⇓
- Mac... - He knows you!
#483
⇓
- He doesn't even know who I am. - Save us! Mac, save us.
#484
⇓
- Guys, guys... there is no God. - Oi!
#485
⇓
Oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi! Oi, oi, oi, oi, oi, oi!
#486
⇓
Okay, okay, okay. One last shot.
#487
⇓
Uh, dear Heavenly Father...
#488
⇓
Yeah.
#489
⇓
...if you do exist, and you are listening,
#490
⇓
if you could find it in your heart
#491
⇓
to send us a miracle...
#492
⇓
- Just send us one miracle, please. - One miracle.
#493
⇓
Our goose is cooked!
#494
⇓
I'm going down.
#495
⇓
Highway to hell, baby!
#496
⇓
Sis... I love you.
#497
⇓
Whatever.
#498
⇓
What? Whatever?
#499
⇓
Whatever?
#500
⇓
Unbelievable!
#501
⇓
Ah, whatever.
#502
⇓
I can't believe nobody came to save us.
#503
⇓
Should we do this?
#504
⇓
Let's go be with the gang.
#505
⇓
All right.
#506
⇓
And then, uh, you know, and then we all got pulled up.
#507
⇓
I mean, it was a miracle. It was an actual miracle.
#508
⇓
Yeah. Hey, I'm sorry, can I stop...
#509
⇓
Can you just move that light a little bit?
#510
⇓
- It's blasting me right in my face. - It's been blasting us this whole time.
#511
⇓
- Can you move the light, please? - Just a little bit?
#512
⇓
- Sorry about that. - Oh, wow!
#513
⇓
So much better.
#514
⇓
Should've said something earlier.
#515
⇓
Well, harrowing stuff, but I think I got everything I need.
#516
⇓
Could you mark down in your report
#517
⇓
- that I'm not gay? Because I'm not. - What?
#518
⇓
- What do you mean, you're not gay? - Since when?
#519
⇓
- He's gay. - Oh, well, because
#520
⇓
God answered my prayers and saved us.
#521
⇓
That means that there is, of course, a God,
#522
⇓
and if there is a God, then in his infinite wisdom,
#523
⇓
there's no way he would have made me queer.
#524
⇓
Oh. I'm straight.
#525
⇓
- All righty. - Look, look...
#526
⇓
are we gonna get in trouble because of this accident?
#527
⇓
Uh, nope, you're good to go.
#528
⇓
I just needed your report for my insurance claim.
#529
⇓
Insurance claim? You're not a cop?
#530
⇓
Cop? No, I'm an insurance adjustor.
#531
⇓
I'm just collecting reports of people's experiences
#532
⇓
- for insurance purposes. - Oh.
#533
⇓
I'm so relieved.
#534
⇓
So, are we gonna get a payout?
#535
⇓
Well, you might have, had you not just admitted to breaking...
#536
⇓
several laws.
#537
⇓
- What? - Right, well... hang on, though.
#538
⇓
I mean, we got trapped in a room
#539
⇓
by a drunk captain who sunk the ship.
#540
⇓
- We almost died, man. - Yeah, man.
#541
⇓
No, it wasn't the captain's fault. He was sober.
#542
⇓
Well, what happened? Whose fault was it?
#543
⇓
Nobody's fault.
#544
⇓
The ship just hit a massive wave during the storm.
#545
⇓
In the insurance biz, that is what we call
#546
⇓
"an act of God."
#547
⇓
Well, God is great.
#548
⇓
Oh, blessed is he that loves the Lord
#549
⇓
Trust in Jesus and he'll restore
#550
⇓
Well, when you're low and hard to bear
#551
⇓
Jesus will answer prayer
#552
⇓
Oh, Jesus
#553
⇓
Jesus will answer prayer
#554
⇓
Oh, Jesus
#555
⇓
Jesus will answer prayer
#556
⇓
Well, I know he'll take away your burdens
#557
⇓
And he'll take away all your cares
#558
⇓
Oh, blessed be the name of Jesus Christ
#559
⇓
He hung up there on the cross and died
#560
⇓
Oh...
#561
⇓
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