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Home » Silicon Valley » S06E07 — Exit Event

Silicon Valley

Season 6, Episode 7 — Exit Event

TMDB episode metadata

Show: Silicon Valley

Episode title: Exit Event

Air date: December 08, 2019

Director: Alec Berg

Top billed cast: Thomas Middleditch, Zach Woods, Kumail Nanjiani, Martin Starr, Amanda Crew, Matt Ross

Ahead of a career-defining moment, Richard makes a startling discovery that changes everything and sends the entire Pied Piper team racing to pull off the biggest bait-and-switch that Silicon Valley has ever seen.

Source: TMDB

↓

Is there something you want to tell us?

↓

I respect you all?

respect

↓

"AT&T and YaoNet close deal".

close deal

↓

Wow. Bombshell.

bombshell

↓

Our network's slowing down because

networks slowing

↓

YaoNet's here, and they're attacking us.

attacking

↓

We did not come here to attack you, simply

attack simply

↓

in order to see how you got PiperNet to work,

order

↓

which it turns out you did not.

turns

↓

Pied Piper does not scale.

piper scale

↓

Worthless piece of...

piece worthless

↓

I don't need to use Gilfoyle's A.I.

↓

in order to improve middle-out.

improve middle order

↓

I need to use middle-out to create a new A.I.

create middle

↓

Holy shit.

holy

↓

Our network overhead must've massively shrunk.

mustve network

↓

It worked. It... It... It... It happened.

happened worked

↓

We did it!

↓

And out of the left side, you can see...

left side

↓

I don't know what that is.

↓

- Synced and corrected by Firefly - - www.addic7ed.com -

corrected synced

↓

_

↓

Should I look at the... camera or you?

camera

↓

You can just talk to me. Can you introduce yourself?

introduce

↓

Sure, yeah. Um...

↓

Uh, my name is Richard Hendricks,

name richard

↓

- and I'm the... - Could you... ?

↓

- My name is Richard Hendricks. I'm, uh, - _

name richard

↓

- the founder and CEO of Pied Piper. - _

founder piper

↓

I think like most people, I first heard about

heard

↓

- Pied Piper at TechCrunch Disrupt. - _

piper

↓

Middle-out was a game changer.

game middle

↓

The winner of this year is Pied Piper.

piper winner

↓

What you have to understand is conventional compression

↓

- was like rubbing two sticks together. - _

rubbing sticks

↓

And along comes Pied Piper, out of nowhere,

along comes piper

↓

with a frickin' blowtorch.

frickin

↓

Well, we had really just started

started

↓

um, a few months earlier,

months

↓

and like a bunch of other Silicon Valley companies,

bunch companies silicon silicon-valley valley

↓

we were just working out of a garage.

garage working

↓

Or a house, really.

house

↓

- Nice place? - No.

place

↓

It was like a shit hole,

hole

↓

but there was so much shit in it,

↓

- it was filled all the way up. - _

filled

↓

- So, it was, like, level with the ground. - _

ground level

↓

If that's true, there was a little meniscus

↓

- in the shit, and that's where... - _

↓

our dreams lived.

dreams lived

↓

Not the kind of house you wanna take your shoes off in.

house shoes

↓

- Yeah, just fuckin' smelled really bad. - _

fuckin smelled

↓

- It was all right. - _

↓

Oh, I was the sloppy girl

girl sloppy

↓

in the discotheque, just twirling and twirling

↓

like the night would never end.

night

↓

Jian-Yang won the house from me in a game of chance.

chance game house yang

↓

He told me to pick a number between one and 10.

number pick

↓

I picked seven, um, but it was three.

picked seven three

↓

Eh, you live, you learn.

learn live

↓

We had knocked around for a few years,

knocked years

↓

trying different iterations of what we wanted to do.

wanted

↓

It was at RussFest when things really got crazy for us.

crazy

↓

It was so much money.

money

↓

So much.

↓

Yeah. Times were good.

times

↓

_

↓

* Millionaire... *

millionaire

↓

Uh, DJ Mad Evil,

evil

↓

could we cut the music for a second?

music second

↓

* Millionaire... *

millionaire

↓

I have a surprise for everybody,

everybody surprise

↓

and, um,

↓

Suffice it to say,

suffice

↓

I think that everyone here is gonna want a slice

slice

↓

of this moist and scrumptious cake.

cake moist

↓

We're gonna take a bite in three,

bite three

↓

two...

↓

Richard's in the cake!

cake

↓

- ... one. - Fuckin' Gabe.

fuckin gabe

↓

Surprise!

surprise

↓

Wait a second! What's going on with the cake?

cake second

↓

Push from your thighs.

push thighs

↓

- Oh God, are you okay? - Fine.

↓

- Handle broke. - Oh.

broke handle

↓

- Doesn't matter. Oh, sorry. - I was right.

matter

↓

Oh, don't worry about it.

worry

↓

- Don't worry about it. It's fine. - Pictures...

pictures worry

↓

Okay, everybody.

everybody

↓

I'm here to tell you

↓

that it has all been worth it.

worth

↓

- Woo! - Uh,

↓

because today,

today

↓

it finally happened.

finally happened

↓

We just shipped

shipped

↓

the final build...

build final

↓

of the PiperNet firmware for AT&T's

↓

nationwide launch next week!

launch nationwide week

↓

What the fuck? Is that beer?

beer fuck

↓

No, you're not drinking that piss. We drink my piss!

drink drinking piss

↓

- Tres Comas! - Oh.

↓

I just bought

bought

↓

all the Pied Piper shares

piper shares

↓

that some dentist in Phoenix had.

dentist

↓

Oh, no way. My dad's a dentist in Phoenix.

dads dentist

↓

Well, hopefully he's not an asshole like this guy.

asshole hopefully

↓

- Yeah, that would suck. - We could be talking...

suck

↓

Cuatro Comas!

↓

Drink up, you fucks!

drink fucks

↓

No, no, no, just stop. Just stop.

↓

How does he make it look so difficult?

difficult

↓

* Millionaire *

millionaire

↓

* Trillionaire *

↓

Another? Oh boy!

another

↓

Hey! There you are.

↓

I, uh, got you something.

↓

Oh, Monica.

↓

"Leaving AT&T.

leaving

↓

Just dotted the I's, crossed the T's,

crossed

↓

and every single detail is perfect".

detail perfect single

↓

- I sent this to you last week. - Yeah, and as soon as you did,

sent week

↓

I knew I had to frame it.

frame

↓

Well, I mean, I had my assistant frame it, but you know.

assistant frame

↓

It's really awesome.

awesome

↓

Although...

↓

Are you sure this is what I sent to you?

sent

↓

- Yeah. Why? - Okay.

↓

No, here.

↓

Huh. That's weird.

weird

↓

Oh, it's because... It's actually kinda funny.

funny kinda

↓

- Um, I'm not sure if you... - Richard, congratulations.

congratulations richard

↓

It's your very close friend Jian-Yang,

close friend yang

↓

and I would like you to give me free shares

free shares

↓

of Pied Piper.

piper

↓

Okay, Jian-Yang. Uh...

yang

↓

Well, you had plenty of opportunity to invest.

invest opportunity plenty

↓

- Still do. - Yeah, you can buy Pipercoin.

↓

Monica, two men are talking business.

business

↓

You can find your broom and fly away.

broom

↓

Suit yourself. I just checked the ledger, and the coin

checked coin ledger suit

↓

we issued to Erlich was just sold for $20 million.

issued million sold

↓

Richard,

richard

↓

is the mean lady right?

lady

↓

Errich is now fat and rich?

rich

↓

Uh, yeah, I guess.

↓

Where is he?

↓

I don't know.

↓

Tibet still, maybe.

↓

Okay.

↓

Tibet.

↓

Okay.

↓

- Huh. - So, at this point,

point

↓

steaming into the launch, you had no idea

idea launch steaming

↓

- what was about to happen. - No.

happen

↓

No, none. None whatsoever.

whatsoever

↓

Everything was going...

↓

great.

↓

What the fuck is wrong with Richard?

fuck richard

↓

Why does he wanna see us so early?

early

↓

Well, he's been here all night.

night

↓

He wouldn't explain, but he is in a bit of a state.

explain state

↓

Hey, Richard?

richard

↓

Richard, they're here.

richard

↓

Oh, great. Yeah. Sit, sit. Sit, sit.

↓

- Why? - Just find a seat.

seat

↓

- Richard, what's wrong? - I don't know.

richard

↓

Maybe nothing. Maybe something.

↓

Look, here, I wanna show you something. Um...

↓

You see? Okay. So, uh,

↓

this was a message I sent to Monica last week.

message sent week

↓

She had it framed for me as a gift.

framed gift

↓

Oh, I was gonna get you a gift, but, um,

gift

↓

it was back-ordered, so it's coming next...

coming ordered

↓

Look at the dots. Count the dots.

count dots

↓

- Dots? - The dots! Look, look.

dots

↓

"Every single detail is", dot-dot-dot, "perfect". Okay?

detail perfect single

↓

There are three dots in that ellipsis,

dots three

↓

which is the correct number of dots. However,

correct dots number

↓

in the message that I sent her,

message sent

↓

there are...

↓

four dots, which is incorrect.

dots four incorrect

↓

Thus, not perfect. It was a joke.

joke perfect

↓

- Was it? - Yes. Was and is.

↓

Okay, well, uh, I didn't change your joke, Richard.

change joke richard

↓

That's what I got. Three dots.

dots three

↓

Wait, is it... three dots that's funny or is it four?

dots four funny three

↓

Four, four, four. That's what I sent her, four.

four sent

↓

But our messaging is encrypted. So,

messaging

↓

how did what I send, four dots,

dots four send

↓

end up as three dots in her feed?

dots feed three

↓

Data corruption, bit flip,

corruption data flip

↓

- just a fluke. - Yeah, sure. Yeah, that's what I thought.

fluke

↓

So, then I checked the logs, read the math.

checked logs math read

↓

The total size of all sent messages

messages sent size total

↓

should be the same as the total size

size total

↓

of all received messages, right?

messages received

↓

But it's not. The received messages are smaller.

messages received smaller

↓

How? How is that possible? Unless...

possible

↓

our network...

network

↓

is compressing the content

content

↓

of encrypted files in transit.

files

↓

And the only way that is possible

possible

↓

is by bypassing encryption.

encryption

↓

- Well, that's impossible. - I agree.

agree impossible

↓

It makes no sense,

makes sense

↓

but don't you think we should figure this out before launch?

figure launch

↓

Richard, don't do this. Not now.

richard

↓

We launch in four days.

days four four-days launch

↓

The TV spots are already running.

running spots

↓

We're not jeopardizing billions of dollars

billions dollars

↓

because you're missing a dot.

missing

↓

Should I get everyone in here to start working on this?

start start-working working

↓

- Well... - We're beyond that.

beyond

↓

The others can't help us now.

others

↓

Jared, bolt the doors.

bolt doors jared

↓

What's in the bag?

↓

Clif bars and a gun.

bars

↓

May I be honest?

honest

↓

There was a period of my life in which

life period

↓

I would've rooted for the failure of Richard Hendricks.

failure richard wouldve

↓

That was a different Gavin Belson. That was...

↓

- tech icon Gavin Belson, - _

icon tech

↓

not literary icon Gavin Belson.

icon literary

↓

Since leaving Hooli, I've co-authored

leaving

↓

37 adult romance novels.

adult romance

↓

Fondly, Margeaux. The Lighthouse Dancer.

dancer lighthouse

↓

Cold Ice Cream and Hot Kisses.

cold cream kisses

↓

Over here, The Prince of Puget Sound.

prince sound

↓

Uh, and lastly, His Hazel Glance.

glance

↓

All international best sellers.

best international

↓

Uh, G-Gavin. A moment, please.

moment

↓

I'm so sorry. A moment.

moment

↓

The fuck is your problem?

fuck problem

↓

You said that this would be an hour.

hour

↓

Well, we're just running a little over.

running

↓

Yeah, with the lights, and the machines,

lights machines

↓

and the sound equipment,

equipment sound

↓

how is this ever gonna be an hour?

hour

↓

You're acting hysterical, all right?

acting hysterical

↓

We'll have plenty of time to write this...

plenty write

↓

Yeah, you know what? You know what?

↓

Do your... your little interview.

interview

↓

I'll just write the book myself, okay?

book write

↓

Well, if you could you would, but you can't.

↓

You're stuck with me, and I'm stuck with you.

stuck

↓

Whoa, whoa, whoa...

whoa

↓

That's what Florian says to Claudette

↓

outside the cheese cave!

cave cheese

↓

- Oh my God! That's our third act! - Third act!

third

↓

- Yes! Okay, go, put the kettle on. - Yeah.

↓

I'm terribly sorry. I'm gonna have to cut this short.

short terribly

↓

Thank you for coming.

coming

↓

When Richard told me about the dots last night,

dots night richard

↓

initially, I dismissed it as the ranting

dismissed ranting

↓

of a self-sabotaging idiot.

idiot sabotaging self

↓

But a few hours later when I woke up

hours woke

↓

in a stall in the second story men's bathroom,

bathroom mens second stall story

↓

I realized something.

realized

↓

That you're an alcoholic?

alcoholic

↓

Perhaps, but high-functioning.

perhaps

↓

Much like our network. To wit...

network

↓

Our internal messaging, based on HooliChat,

based internal messaging

↓

uses a weak encryption standard

encryption standard uses weak

↓

known as P-256.

known

↓

Whether Richard believes it or not,

believes richard whether

↓

our network cracked it.

cracked network

↓

Who allowed it to do that?

allowed

↓

We did, when we gave it one job.

↓

To make itself more efficient.

efficient

↓

It developed a general solution

developed general solution

↓

to discrete log in polynomial time.

↓

What?

↓

Okay, is this a good thing

↓

or a bad thing? Someone tell me how to feel.

↓

Abject terror for you. Build from there.

build terror

↓

Once launched,

↓

our AI will keep learning to break

break learning

↓

more and more sophisticated parameters.

sophisticated

↓

Ultimately, this will mean the end

ultimately

↓

of privacy.

privacy

↓

Electrical grids,

electrical

↓

financial institutions,

financial

↓

the nuclear launch codes

codes launch nuclear

↓

for every single nuclear weapon.

nuclear single weapon

↓

All will be exposed.

exposed

↓

Pure violence will become

become pure violence

↓

the only basis of power.

basis power

↓

Spare us the apocalyptic desert planet

desert planet spare

↓

sci-fi bullshit, Frank Herbert.

bullshit frank herbert

↓

Uh, Frank Herbert was a writer who wrote a series of...

frank herbert series writer wrote

↓

I know who fucking Frank Herbert is.

frank fucking herbert

↓

Oh. I'm sorry.

↓

Was that gendered?

↓

- That was gendered. - Okay, Gilfoyle.

↓

Even if everything you're saying is right,

↓

and that's where we're headed,

headed

↓

there's gotta be a way to fix it.

↓

Fix what, Richard? The network is doing

network richard

↓

exactly what we told it to do.

↓

The AI is optimizing the compression

↓

and the compression is optimizing the AI.

↓

Everything that makes it successful

makes successful

↓

is exactly what makes it dangerous.

dangerous makes

↓

It's a feature, not a bug.

feature

↓

No , no, no. Okay, no.

↓

What are we gonna do about it?

↓

What do you suggest we do about it?

suggest

↓

You're gonna make me say it, aren't you?

↓

Fine.

↓

We built a monster.

built monster

↓

We need to kill it.

kill

↓

- Fuck. - Are you out of your mind?

fuck mind

↓

No, no, no, no, no, Gilfoyle.

↓

We didn't build a monster, first of all.

build monster

↓

We built the single greatest

built greatest single

↓

fucking network, ever, in the world.

fucking network world

↓

That's the big one.

↓

And I'm sorry, you wanna kill it?

kill

↓

Now? Now? Now?

↓

We are inches away from the finish line.

finish finish-line inches line

↓

You wanna fucking kill it?

fucking fucking-kill kill

↓

We did it, man! We built it! It works!

built works

↓

It just needs a little help! We just gotta fix it, okay?

needs

↓

We don't kill it!

kill

↓

That's crazy, man! Kill yourself is the thing.

crazy kill

↓

Fuck you.

fuck

↓

I mean...

↓

that's crazy.

crazy

↓

When people ask me about Pied Piper,

piper

↓

I always tell them the same thing.

↓

_

↓

Are there other questions?

questions

↓

Uh, yeah. Can you elaborate?

elaborate

↓

Mm... yes.

↓

Will you?

↓

Ah...

↓

Hmm...

↓

Save it, Jared. I'm not in the mood for a pep talk.

jared mood save

↓

You know, if I learned anything from my time with Gwart,

learned

↓

it's the power of just listening.

listening power

↓

Fucking Gilfoyle.

fucking

↓

Shut it down? Are you fucking kidding me?

fucking fucking-kidding kidding

↓

Throw everything away that we've been working toward?

throw working

↓

Not to mention the fact that we have a contract

contract fact mention

↓

worth billions of dollars.

billions dollars worth

↓

Yeah, that's a lot of money.

money

↓

And what about all the other stuff we're gonna do?

stuff

↓

I mean, give internet to underserved communities,

internet

↓

students in the homework gap, refugees, genomic research.

homework research students

↓

Pied Piper can help scientists cure cancer.

cancer cure piper scientists

↓

- And cancer is bad. - Cancer fuckin' sucks!

cancer fuckin sucks

↓

"Hey, I'd like some cancer, please". No.

cancer

↓

And we have this beautiful baby,

baby

↓

who is a little sick...

sick

↓

But, apparently, it's now the devil,

apparently devil

↓

and we have to kill it.

kill

↓

I vote we take it to the doctor, but fuck.

doctor fuck vote

↓

I had a foster mother who thought I was the devil

devil foster mother

↓

and that she had to kill me.

kill

↓

And I think it was pretty traumatizing for her.

↓

And th-the odds...

odds

↓

of Gilfoyle's stupid crazy

crazy stupid

↓

doomsday scenario actually coming true are...

coming scenario

↓

I mean, we've had a nuclear arsenal for decades,

decades nuclear

↓

and we're fine. I mean, outside of a couple...

couple

↓

substantial blips. Two in particular.

particular

↓

I'd say we're safer.

safer

↓

The real killer is stress.

killer real stress

↓

Okay, sure, fine.

↓

Oppenheimer famously said he regretted

↓

building the atom bomb and died in despair,

bomb building despair died

↓

but what the fuck does that have to do with anything?

fuck

↓

Oppenheimer. What a self-obsessed little bitch.

bitch obsessed self

↓

What are we supposed to do, huh? What are we supposed to do?

supposed

↓

Fucking Gilfoyle. We'll just call up AT&T

fucking

↓

and say that our network is so good

network

↓

that it'll eventually become some doomsday device,

become device eventually itll

↓

and we have no moral option but to destroy it

destroy moral option

↓

before we let you release it? I mean...

release

↓

We're not doing it! We're not.

↓

- We're not. - Hey, Richard.

richard

↓

Whatever you think is best, that's what we're gonna do.

best

↓

I mean, they just put up the billboard.

billboard

↓

She's a beauty, right?

beauty

↓

Fu... ! Sorry, guys.

↓

- Gilfoyle's right. - Seriously?

↓

We're seriously doing this? We're canceling the launch?

canceling launch

↓

Well, no. Uh, ha, that's not enough.

↓

Our network is dangerous.

dangerous network

↓

If we cancel it or shut it down,

cancel

↓

then others will try to copy

copy others

↓

or reverse engineer everything that we've built.

built engineer reverse

↓

It's like...

↓

It's like the four-minute mile.

four mile minute

↓

Everybody thought it was impossible,

everybody impossible

↓

until someone did it,

↓

and then everybody started doing it

everybody started

↓

because they knew it could be done.

↓

Right. Roger Bannister.

roger

↓

Now, imagine he'd gone into cardiac arrest

arrest cardiac cardiac-arrest gone imagine

↓

and evacuated on himself and died.

died

↓

And as he lay there with his prolapsed anus

anus

↓

peeking beneath the running shorts on his newly dead body,

beneath body dead dead-body newly peeking running shorts

↓

the crowd jeered and grimaced.

crowd

↓

That is what has to happen to us.

happen

↓

We have to shit ourselves to death.

death

↓

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

↓

He's right.

↓

Our launch has to fail, publicly...

fail launch publicly

↓

and spectacularly.

↓

Are you dumbfucks listening to yourselves?

listening yourselves

↓

Because I am,

↓

and you are dumb.

dumb

↓

And fucks.

fucks

↓

Gilfoyle is willing to destroy everything we've built

built destroy willing

↓

just to prevent me from having money!

having money prevent

↓

Interesting.

interesting

↓

Is that Dinesh's Tesla?

↓

What?

↓

- There's no one in it. - Correct.

correct

↓

You have the Tesla mobile app on your phone,

mobile phone

↓

which communicates over the Pied Piper network.

network piper

↓

A few hours ago, I tasked said network

hours network

↓

with providing me your TLS encryption key,

encryption providing

↓

which it just gave me.

↓

To verify that that key was correct,

correct verify

↓

I decided to autodrive your car

decided

↓

to the car wash on El Camino.

wash

↓

It appears the key was correct,

appears correct

↓

no?

↓

Be careful, Charlotte.

careful charlotte

↓

What encryption does Tesla use?

encryption

↓

Curve 25519,

curve

↓

the most secure...

secure

↓

discrete log parameter there is.

↓

Not anymore.

anymore

↓

Our network just blew it apart like a prolapsed anus.

anus apart blew network

↓

In only two hours and 47 minutes.

hours minutes

↓

- The prosecution rests. - Okay, Dinesh,

↓

they're right. We have to fail,

fail

↓

and it has to look like an accident,

accident

↓

or else we could all go to prison.

prison

↓

- No, I cannot do it. - Of course you can.

cannot course

↓

Your entire life has prepared you to publicly fail.

entire entire-life fail life prepared publicly

↓

You're just failing to see that right now.

failing

↓

Don't insult me. I can fail circles around you losers.

circles fail insult losers

↓

But will I?

↓

I'm gonna be honest with you.

honest

↓

No offense to me,

offense

↓

but I am greedy and unreliable,

greedy

↓

bordering on piece of shit.

piece

↓

If there is a chance

chance

↓

to stop you guys from stopping you guys, I will do it.

stopping

↓

I will sabotage your sabotage.

sabotage

↓

So, if this company needs to fail

company fail needs

↓

epically, like fucking fail...

fail fucking

↓

you need to do it without me.

↓

Revoke my permissions.

↓

Delete my PiperMail account.

account delete

↓

I will use Gmail like a fucking basic bitch.

basic bitch fucking

↓

Don't let me anywhere near that launch.

launch near

↓

I may beg, and I will lie to you.

↓

I cannot bribe you because I don't have any money.

bribe cannot money

↓

But I am too much of a liability.

liability

↓

That is the most courageous act of cowardice I've ever seen.

courageous seen

↓

All this because of a fucking dot.

fucking

↓

Dinesh's car is at the Wendy's drive-thru.

drive wendys

↓

Anybody hungry?

anybody hungry

↓

They call it PiperNet,

↓

and it's coming to your phone.

coming phone

↓

Tomorrow at noon, the Pied Piper app will go live

live noon piper tomorrow

↓

on the latest 5G-equipped iOS and Android phones

equipped latest phones

↓

in 10 major cities across the country.

cities country major

↓

AT&T says, if things go as planned, PiperNet could be

planned

↓

on more than a half billion devices within a year.

billion devices half

↓

And no one is more excited than technology super fans,

excited fans super technology

↓

like the ones behind me...

behind ones

↓

... who are camping out all night to snag

camping night snag

↓

a limited edition Pied Piper-equipped smartphone.

equipped limited piper

↓

If their enthusiasm is anything to go by,

enthusiasm

↓

then a lot more people may soon be lining up

lining

↓

to pay the piper.

piper

↓

I'm Jim Gittman, KCTW.

↓

All right, thanks, everyone! Appreciate y'all! Okay!

appreciate thanks yall

↓

I see you! I see you!

↓

Hey, does anyone want a bear claw?

bear claw

↓

I just bought too many at the store,

bought store

↓

so I'm going around giving them away if anybody wants

anybody giving wants

↓

- a bear claw or a cruller... - Whoa.

bear claw whoa

↓

You got one of the Pied Piper ratjacks made?

piper

↓

Wait, there's a cool nickname for the jackets?

cool jackets nickname

↓

Yeah, you even got Dinesh embroidered.

↓

Oh, he's my favorite, too.

favorite

↓

Wait.

↓

Oh my God. Holy shit!

holy

↓

Dude, it's Dinesh!

↓

Yeah, Dinesh. I'm Dinesh Chugtai.

↓

I'm the cofounder of Pied Piper,

piper

↓

in an original ratjack.

original

↓

I can't wait for tomorrow!

tomorrow

↓

Don't worry about tomorrow! Today!

today tomorrow worry

↓

- Fuck tomorrow! - Uh,

fuck tomorrow

↓

- can I get a selfie? - Yeah, yeah, yeah.

selfie

↓

- Okay, thank you! - Here we go.

↓

I am Pied Piper.

piper

↓

- I am Pied Piper. - I am Pied Piper.

piper

↓

I am Pied Piper...

piper

↓

- Are we set? - Locked and loaded.

loaded locked

↓

The script I wrote will push a new build

build push script wrote

↓

from the supernode at the office the second you step on stage.

office second stage step

↓

No one here will see it. When we go live,

live

↓

all the nodes should start broadcasting noise

noise start

↓

across common communication bands,

bands common communication

↓

jamming cell signals, knocking out Bluetooth,

bluetooth cell jamming knocking signals

↓

and fucking up every GPS unit for miles.

fucking miles unit

↓

- Good. - Yeah.

↓

They'll force us to shut it down...

force

↓

then it'll all be over.

itll

↓

Good.

↓

Yeah. Good.

↓

Fuck.

fuck

↓

Richard? We're about to start.

richard start

↓

Yeah, let's go. Okay, here we go.

↓

I am Pied Piper.

piper

↓

I am Pied Piper.

piper

↓

I am Pied Piper.

piper

↓

Hi. Uh, my name is Dinesh Chugtai.

name

↓

I wanna make sure I am not on the list for the launch today.

launch list today

↓

Chugtai. Um... I don't see your name here.

name

↓

Okay, that's great. Oh, uh,

↓

could you also make sure there are no VIP lists I might be on?

lists might

↓

Chugtai. Spelled how it's pronounced.

pronounced spelled

↓

- Okay. Uh... - "Chu",

↓

and then "gtai".

↓

No, not here either.

↓

Oh, and these security guards?

guards security

↓

Are they your best guys? Like, will they stop me?

best

↓

Would they fuck me up?

fuck

↓

- I'm sorry, we... - Thank you so much.

↓

That's exactly the response I was looking for.

looking response

↓

I feel very confident I will not be getting into

confident

↓

the launch today. Thank you for not helping.

helping launch today

↓

Don't let me through.

↓

We are Pied Piper!

piper

↓

Woo!

↓

Yes, hello. Uh...

↓

I am Richard Hendricks, founder and CEO,

founder richard

↓

and I am thrilled to welcome you all

thrilled welcome

↓

to the official launch of Pied Piper.

launch official piper

↓

- Hey, John. - Yeah.

john

↓

Here's your hot water.

water

↓

Okay.

↓

Hey, Gabe?

gabe

↓

There's something weird here.

weird

↓

What is it?

↓

The code they're about to launch...

code launch

↓

it isn't the build we shipped.

build shipped

↓

Someone just pushed a new build.

build pushed

↓

Hey, John?

john

↓

Yeah?

↓

That's a mistake.

mistake

↓

We should change it back to the right code.

change code

↓

Okay.

↓

Fast and powerful.

fast powerful

↓

Sounds a little bit like you, Andre Iguodala.

andre sounds

↓

- Yes! - That's right, Richard Hendricks.

richard

↓

And as a member of the NBA's all-defensive first team,

defensive member team

↓

I know a little something about cybersecurity.

↓

Would you say that Pied Piper is your MVP?

piper

↓

"Most valuable phone"?

phone valuable

↓

Yeah, I would.

↓

Uh, hey, Dinesh?

↓

Gabe, what are you doing here?

gabe

↓

You weren't answering your calls or texts,

answering calls texts

↓

so I came here from the office.

office

↓

So, um, a weird version of the software, uh...

software version weird

↓

was put online, so, uh...

online

↓

So?

↓

So, I reverted it to the version we shipped.

shipped version

↓

Oh, I have the original weird one here...

original weird

↓

There's some photos of me in Hawaii.

hawaii photos

↓

So, this was the version that was about to be deployed,

version

↓

then you switched it,

switched

↓

and now we're about to launch the older version?

launch older version

↓

Yes.

↓

So, if I do nothing,

↓

absolutely nothing...

absolutely

↓

- Nothing? - ... the "correct" version

correct version

↓

of the network would launch?

launch network

↓

Uh, what do you mean by when you do that?

↓

- Just stretching my fingers. - Oh.

fingers stretching

↓

But before I go, can you tell me,

↓

who let the dogs out?

dogs

↓

Damn it! Okay, go. Thank you.

↓

Leave a message. Also,

message

↓

fuck you, Dinesh.

fuck

↓

The supernode on the roof.

roof

↓

Give it up for Menlo Bark!

bark

↓

Weren't they fetching?

↓

Fucking hell, who wrote this shit?

fucking wrote

↓

I...

↓

Guys! Comma.

↓

We have a huge fucking problem!

fucking huge problem

↓

Period. Fucking Gabe

fucking gabe period

↓

reverted to the old build!

build

↓

Exclamation point, exclamation point!

exclamation point

↓

I got a group text from Dinesh.

group text

↓

"Guys, come on. Fun king games

fun games king

↓

pervert Oldsmobile"?

pervert

↓

- What? - Okay, so I've...

↓

shown you our...

shown

↓

decentralized universal data exchange,

data exchange

↓

our tamper-proof storage.

proof storage

↓

I've shown you that you, and you alone,

alone shown

↓

will control your personal data and your identity.

control data identity personal

↓

All...

↓

All of us here at Pied Piper have worked

piper worked

↓

so hard on this.

hard

↓

We have given six sleepless,

given

↓

brutal years to this project,

brutal project years

↓

and I am...

↓

so proud of what we've done.

proud

↓

Uh, so my mentor...

mentor

↓

... the late Peter Gregory, uh,

gregory late peter

↓

put us on the path to what we've created here.

created path

↓

He called it,

called

↓

"the internet we deserve".

deserve internet

↓

We have fought every step of the way

fought step

↓

to bring you the greatest network

bring greatest network

↓

ever made, ha. And in, uh...

↓

five minutes, 42 seconds,

five five-minutes minutes seconds

↓

that fight is over.

fight

↓

Son of a bitch.

bitch

↓

Dinesh, you fucking terrorist,

fucking terrorist

↓

what the fuck are you doing?

fuck

↓

Are you jerking off?

jerking

↓

Or did you do one push up?

push

↓

Quit being a fucking bitch.

bitch fucking fucking-bitch quit

↓

Let me then make clear

clear

↓

that I am determined upon our...

determined

↓

That's one small step for a man,

step

↓

one giant leap for mankind.

giant leap mankind

↓

Hello?

↓

Dinesh is where?

↓

- Tell him to fuck off. - You tell him.

fuck

↓

It's me! I'm here. I'm merged and I can hear you.

↓

Hold on.

↓

- Hey. - We're all merged in.

↓

Richard, you are doing a great job.

richard

↓

Jared, shut up. Richard, turn around.

jared richard

↓

I'm behind you.

behind

↓

Dinesh says that Gabe reverted us back to the prior build

build gabe

↓

from the supernode at the office.

office

↓

I cannot verify this because I'm not at a supernode.

cannot verify

↓

I'm across the stage from you, as you can see.

stage

↓

But Dinesh is. He's on the roof.

roof

↓

He wants me to give him back his permissions to deploy.

wants

↓

So I can push out the right build.

build push

↓

The wrong... The build, guys!

build

↓

The build we talked about! The build that

build talked

↓

saves the world, but makes me poor!

makes poor saves world

↓

Question is, do we believe him?

believe question

↓

In fairness, there are a lot of reasons not to trust him,

fairness reasons trust

↓

such as he told us not to trust him.

trust

↓

- Believe me! - But do we trust that?

believe trust

↓

For once, I wanna do the right thing!

↓

Richard, I'm gonna need an answer.

answer richard

↓

- I don't have much time. - The fate of the world literally relies on this.

fate world

↓

Richard, it's time.

richard

↓

- Come on! - Okay.

↓

- Richard, we need an answer. - Ladies and gentlemen, we are at...

answer gentlemen ladies richard

↓

Ten, nine,

nine

↓

eight,

eight

↓

seven, six...

seven

↓

- Fuck it. Dinesh, you're in. - ... five,

five fuck

↓

- ... four... - Oh.

four

↓

... three,

three

↓

two, one!

↓

Ladies and gentlemen, Pied Piper network...

gentlemen ladies network piper

↓

... is officially live!

live officially

↓

The balloons are falling. Is that a good sign or a bad sign?

balloons falling sign

↓

Uh...

↓

The app is now available!

available

↓

- We did it! - Where are you guys?

↓

Communications should be going haywire. Are they?

↓

I can still hear you, so phones must be working.

must phones working

↓

Traffic is moving, so GPS must be working.

moving must traffic working

↓

He's right.

↓

GPS says I'm here, standing next to you,

standing

↓

which seems to be accurate.

accurate seems

↓

Dinesh, you fucked us.

fucked

↓

No, he didn't. We are generating noise.

noise

↓

- Oh, okay. Sorry, Dinesh. - You're good.

↓

I'd expect me to fuck us, too.

expect fuck

↓

Problem. We haven't raised the noise far enough

noise problem raised

↓

to drown out even Bluetooth.

bluetooth drown

↓

Okay, so we're generating noise,

noise

↓

but just not enough to interfere with anything?

interfere

↓

Is this gonna work? Did we just make billions of dollars?!

billions dollars

↓

This wouldn't be happening if we had had time to test things.

test

↓

Fucking kidding me? We failed at failing?

failed failing fucking fucking-kidding kidding

↓

Wait, why are they barking?

barking

↓

Oh shit.

↓

Think we might be creating interference that's causing

causing creating interference might

↓

the speakers in the phones to resonate.

phones speakers

↓

And that's what bugging the dogs?

bugging dogs

↓

No. Dogs shouldn't be bothered by that frequency.

bothered dogs frequency

↓

Well, then, what the fuck are they barking at?

barking fuck

↓

Please, ladies and gentlemen, please stay calm!

calm gentlemen ladies

↓

Don't panic!

panic

↓

Dear sweet mother of God.

dear mother sweet

↓

What have we done?

↓

In a fairy tale turned nightmare

fairy fairy-tale nightmare tale turned

↓

come to life, thousands of rats streamed onto the streets

life rats streets thousands

↓

- of San Francisco today. - Pied Piper's phones broadcasting

francisco phones today

↓

intense ultrasonic sounds

intense sounds

↓

that began repelling the rats.

began rats

↓

The streets of Seattle became the streets of Sea-rat-tle,

became seattle streets

↓

and everyone was sleepless.

↓

Giants fans going home happy today

fans happy home today

↓

as the Cubs go down swinging to the...

swinging

↓

Holy shit!

holy

↓

They're calling it "Rat-mageddon". Yeah.

calling

↓

Except in New York, where they're calling it Wednesday.

calling except wednesday york

↓

They literally became the Pied Piper.

became piper

↓

I mean, you can't make that up.

↓

Yeah, maybe you couldn't...

↓

but I could.

↓

Oh, for fuck's sake.

fucks fucks-sake sake

↓

When you think about a lot of the failures in tech...

tech

↓

Pets.com, Theranos, WeWork...

pets

↓

Pied Piper really is right at the top of that list.

list piper

↓

Pied Piper is just a millstone around AT&T's neck!

neck piper

↓

I say dump it! Dump it now!

dump

↓

I lost so much fucking money with those guys.

fucking lost money

↓

- I got rat-fucked. - _

fucked

↓

That's a pun.

↓

I made it all back though. Sweet investment

investment sweet

↓

in the hair transplant sector.

hair sector transplant

↓

What?

↓

Rats, ah, yes, we have some of them here.

rats

↓

Figuratively.

↓

They are dealt with.

dealt

↓

And so, effective immediately,

effective immediately

↓

I am shutting down Pied Piper,

piper shutting

↓

deleting its code repositories,

code

↓

and liquidating its remaining assets.

assets remaining

↓

All right. That's our statement.

statement

↓

We will not be taking any further...

further

↓

Can I just say that I am just...

↓

truly, deeply sorry.

deeply truly

↓

Uh, this should never have been built.

built

↓

It is... technically flawed to its very core.

core flawed technically

↓

And we should all remember that...

remember

↓

forevermore.

↓

Sorry.

↓

Obviously, Mr. Hendricks doesn't mean that in any

obviously

↓

legally binding or actionable way. Get a life, guys.

binding legally life

↓

It's weird.

weird

↓

It really seemed like Pied Piper was going to work.

piper seemed

↓

_

↓

Something doesn't add up.

↓

So, I did the right thing,

↓

I helped save the world,

helped save world

↓

my legs are still super sore,

legs sore super

↓

and my reward is that I'm poor.

poor reward

↓

What are you gonna do?

↓

Not sure. Been thinking about teaching...

teaching thinking

↓

No, not you.

↓

Oh, uh...

↓

I think I might disappear for a bit.

disappear might

↓

Maybe travel.

travel

↓

Yeah, I might travel, too.

might travel

↓

Where were you thinking?

thinking

↓

It may help if, at least for the time being,

least

↓

you pretend to be mad at me.

pretend

↓

Look, Richard, I was a world theater minor at Vassar,

minor richard theater world

↓

but that is one Javanese shadow play that I cannot perform.

cannot perform shadow

↓

Come on, guys, let's cheer up.

cheer

↓

I mean, we set out to build

build

↓

the best thing ever built, and that's what we did,

best built

↓

right?

↓

We succeeded.

↓

And who can say

↓

that they literally saved the world?

saved world

↓

- Right? - Not us.

↓

'Cause we can't tell anyone what we did.

↓

Right. Not out loud, but...

loud

↓

- You know. - Silence is on brand for me.

brand silence

↓

Good luck, Dinesh.

luck

↓

On the bright side...

bright bright-side side

↓

I found another box of these.

another found found-another

↓

Well, uh...

↓

I was, I was a little bit embarrassed, ha.

embarrassed

↓

Uh, so I just, uh,

↓

went off the grid for a bit. I-I-I traveled.

grid traveled

↓

I went to Tibet, actually, to try and find Erlich,

↓

but, uh, he was gone.

gone

↓

And then, I came back,

↓

but no one really wanted to hire the guy behind Pied Piper.

behind hire piper wanted

↓

Uh, however,

↓

my best friend did hire me,

best best-friend friend hire

↓

and now I am the...

↓

Gavin Belson Professor

professor

↓

of, uh, Ethics in Technology at Stanford University.

ethics stanford technology university

↓

My name is, uh, Nelson Bighetti,

name nelson

↓

and I'm the president of Stamford.

president

↓

Stanford.

stanford

↓

You graduates have a lot of responsibility.

graduates responsibility

↓

Finishing the important work of movements such as...

finishing movements

↓

"pound Met double zero",

double pound zero

↓

and "title icks".

title

↓

So, I think I know, but-but why do they call you Big Head?

head

↓

Oh, yeah, just, you know,

↓

boys being boys. Making fun of my,

boys fun

↓

my big old dome.

dome

↓

It's not because your last name is Big-hetti?

name

↓

I'm the cofounder of Newell Road Strategic Technologies,

road strategic

↓

one of the largest cybersecurity firms in the Bay Area.

area largest

↓

I am the cofounder of

↓

Newell Road Strategic Technologies,

road strategic

↓

- one of the largest cyber... - I literally just said that.

cyber largest

↓

- ... security firms... - I just said that.

security

↓

- You heard me say that. - ... in the Bay Area.

area heard

↓

Things are better when I say them.

↓

Plus, they're definitely going to edit you out.

edit plus

↓

If they're not gonna use it, why would they use it? That has...

↓

Why don't you tell them how you bought the house next to mine

bought house

↓

- because you love me so much. - Okay,

love

↓

fuck you.

fuck

↓

How's it going, guys?

↓

Meeting time.

meeting

↓

- We have a meeting. - Mandatory.

mandatory meeting

↓

What do I do now? I, uh, I work for

↓

a non-profit in DC.

profit

↓

It's a... it's a think tank, and-and we just...

tank

↓

think about... stuff, you know.

stuff

↓

So, the NSA.

↓

The NSA? No, no, no.

↓

Farthest thing from the NSA.

farthest

↓

God. The NSA. That's...

↓

That's a really weird question to ask.

question weird

↓

Okay, Jell-O.

jell

↓

- I love working with the elderly. - One, two, one, two.

love working

↓

It's like I get to have a bunch of parents

bunch parents

↓

and also be their parent.

parent

↓

No! No, no, no! Martin, Martin!

martin

↓

She only has eyes for you.

eyes

↓

We were dancing as girlfriends, that's it.

dancing girlfriends

↓

This fall, we actually had a herpes epidemic

epidemic fall herpes

↓

among the residents, which is bad medically, but...

among medically residents

↓

from another perspective, it's kind of touching.

another perspective touching

↓

Okay, we're on our way to the hostel.

↓

God, I haven't been there in such a long time.

↓

It was just an...

↓

it was an incredible time in my life, you know?

incredible life

↓

I never really thought that I would have

↓

a group of male friends.

friends group male

↓

You know, men just seem kinda mean and hard, but...

hard kinda

↓

these guys were as sweet

sweet

↓

and soft as rotten fruit.

fruit rotten soft

↓

You got your book?

book

↓

Prince of Puget Sound?

prince sound

↓

Oh, Judy!

judy

↓

Hey, man.

↓

Hey, man.

↓

You okay?

↓

Yeah.

↓

I haven't seen you in forever.

forever seen

↓

I saw you last weekend.

weekend

↓

You look great.

↓

Is that...

↓

is that a woman's scent?

scent womans

↓

No, it's unisex.

↓

Big Head?

head

↓

Hey, Nelson.

nelson

↓

I work a lot with people who have dementia,

dementia

↓

and I just want you to know,

↓

it doesn't have to be a horror show.

horror

↓

Oh, cool.

cool

↓

- Well hey, we're all here. - Let's go.

↓

Let's go see Jian-Yang, heh.

yang

↓

- You okay? Richard! - Fine.

richard

↓

Uh... , hi there. Is, uh,

↓

is Jian-Yang here?

yang

↓

Does he live here? We're... we're all old friends of his.

friends live

↓

No, I'm sorry.

↓

I bought the house years ago from his estate.

bought estate house years

↓

Estate?

estate

↓

I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this,

↓

but Jian-Yang's dead.

dead

↓

Uh...

↓

Okay, so he's dead. What do we do?

dead

↓

It's different, but also the same.

↓

Hey, Gilfoyle.

↓

That's your horrible corner. It looks much better now.

corner horrible

↓

Changed a little bit.

changed

↓

They fixed my hole.

fixed hole

↓

Don't do it again.

↓

No, I wouldn't. Obviously.

obviously

↓

I was emotionally charged.

charged emotionally

↓

Oh, the drapes.

drapes

↓

Oh, that's a playful linen.

playful

↓

- Hi. I used to live here... - Hey.

live used

↓

... back when I was poor.

poor

↓

- Cool. - No offense.

cool offense

↓

None taken, I guess.

taken

↓

- President Bighetti? - Whoa!

president whoa

↓

- How did... how'd you know my name? - I go to Stanford.

howd name stanford

↓

Oh, no way! I work at Stanford.

stanford

↓

- I'm the president. - Yeah, I know.

president

↓

What are you doing here?

↓

Um, I don't know. I think 'cause Jian-Yang died?

died yang

↓

- I'm not sure. - Who's that? Okay.

↓

So weird we're all back here.

weird

↓

Except for Jian-Yang because he's dead.

dead except yang

↓

And Erlich.

↓

Has anyone talked to Erlich?

talked

↓

Nope. No. But wherever he is,

nope

↓

I hope he hasn't blown through all that money.

blown hope money

↓

He definitely has.

↓

Yeah, I'm sure he has.

↓

We're looking for Erlich Bachman.

looking

↓

In the other village, they said that he was here.

village

↓

Is-is Erlich Bachman here?

↓

He's here? He's that way?

↓

- It's up here? - Erlich Bachman!

↓

So, this is Erlich Bachman's house?

house

↓

- Erlich Bachman! - Fantastic.

fantastic

↓

We're just here to see Erlich Bachman.

↓

Hello?

↓

Hello?

↓

Whoa, whoa, easy, easy. We're-we're friends.

easy friends whoa

↓

Are you Erlich Bachman?

↓

Yes. I'm Errich Bachman.

↓

- I can show you ID. - _

↓

That's my face. I was a-fat,

face

↓

but now, I'm a-not fat.

↓

I'm sorry, this is supposed to be you?

supposed

↓

I have an idea.

idea

↓

Okay, whoa, whoa, whoa...

whoa

↓

I'm making the world a better place through

place world

↓

an intelligent, semi-autonomous agent,

agent intelligent

↓

powered by distributed, DNA-based compute

based powered

↓

that automates personal planning and scheduling.

personal planning scheduling

↓

Oh, bots. Sounds like an atrocity.

sounds

↓

Let's just hope you have better success than we did.

hope success

↓

Oh, what company did you have?

company

↓

Oh, here we go.

↓

Uh, Pied Piper.

piper

↓

Yep.

↓

I'm unfamiliar...

↓

Rat invasion...

↓

We... we were a big failure.

failure

↓

Eight billion dollar valuation,

billion billion-dollar dollar eight

↓

down to zero in one day.

zero

↓

Was that, like, a social media company?

company media social social-media

↓

- What? Pied Piper. - Are you fucking with us?

fucking piper

↓

Thank you guys so much for your time.

↓

Hey, guys.

↓

Guess what I accidentally brought in my bag.

accidentally brought

↓

Oh, no way.

↓

Whoops.

whoops

↓

- We know this thing. - Wow.

↓

I need a beer if we're gonna do this.

beer

↓

Richard, be careful.

careful richard

↓

- Can I do it? - Always blue!

blue

↓

Always blue! Always blue! Always blue! Always blue!

blue

↓

Always blue! Always blue...

blue

↓

- Okay. - Always blue.

blue

↓

Always blue! Always blue!

blue

↓

Always blue!

blue

↓

Always blue! Aah!

blue

↓

Regrets? Uh...

regrets

↓

No.

↓

No, I'm-I'm happy.

happy

↓

And you don't, you don't feel bad

↓

that you never got to...

↓

make the world a better place?

place world

↓

Uh...

↓

I think we did okay.

↓

I...

↓

actually could, um...

↓

I... I still have it.

↓

One copy of the...

copy

↓

Pied Piper codebase.

piper

↓

I have it on a thumb drive. I could show it to you.

drive thumb

↓

We won't...

↓

look into it, but, um...

↓

I just wanna show it to you.

↓

It's just got a couple things on there that I think...

couple

↓

I, honestly, this was like when

↓

we were coding the best we ever were,

best coding

↓

so some pieces of this thing are...

pieces

↓

sheer elegance.

↓

I wish I could show it to everybody

everybody wish

↓

because I wanna show it to my students.

students

↓

Not my class, but another...

another class

↓

I know it was in the desk.

desk

↓

Okay, this is weird.

weird

↓

Shit, okay.

↓

Where is it?

↓

It's or... it's orange. It's this big.

orange

↓

It's just a thumb drive.

drive thumb

↓

So, is anyone... have any of your crew seen it or anything?

crew seen

↓

I mean... right here.

↓

That's insa...

↓

I had the...

↓

It's gotta be in the desk.

desk

↓

Is it a problem?

problem

↓

Um, no, not a problem. Um...

problem

↓

It's just pretty fascinating. Although...

fascinating

↓

if it isn't here...

↓

where is it?