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Home » Scrubs » S01E08 — My Fifteen Minutes

Scrubs

Season 1, Episode 8 — My Fifteen Minutes

TMDB episode metadata
Show: Scrubs
Episode title: My Fifteen Minutes
Air date: November 15, 2001
Director: Lawrence Trilling
Top billed cast: Zach Braff, Donald Faison, John C. McGinley, Sarah Chalke, Judy Reyes, Ken Jenkins
J.D. and Turk become heroes after saving a cameraman's life on TV. J.D. worries about his evaluation. Carla blows off a night at the bar with Elliot.
Source: TMDB
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I can't believe we're going to a strip club for lunch.
believeclublunchstripstrip-club
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I don't think about it that way. It's a place to buy a burger
burgerplace
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that's a convenient two-and-a-half mile walk away from the hospital.
convenienthalfhospitalmilewalk
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[crowd] No skin! We all win!
crowdskin
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Let's get outta here before we end up on the news.
newsoutta
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Excuse me, are you gentlemen visiting the club?
clubexcusegentlemenvisiting
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No, we're protesting.
protesting
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I'm worried about the kids.
kidsworried
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So what's that in your pocket?
pocket
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Oh, this is, uh... It's $38 in singles.
singles
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I bought a newspaper and this is the change from my 40.
boughtchangenewspaper
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[thud and clatter]
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Neil...
neil
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[J.D.] Sir...
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- No pulse. - Starting CPR.
pulsestarting
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Call an ambulance!
ambulance
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Coming to you live as two young doctors
comingdoctorsliveyoungyoung-doctors
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are trying to resuscitate my cameraman.
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Well, maybe I'm biased, but to me,
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every doctor here at Sacred Heart is a hero.
doctorheartherosacredsacred-heart
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Does that mean I'm a hero? I don't know.
hero
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Ah! There's my dynamic duo!
dynamic
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[journalists] Dr. Dorian! Dr. Turk!
dorianjournaliststurk
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Holy inferiority complex, Batman!
batmancomplexholy
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How low is my self-esteem that I'm the sidekick in my own fantasy?
esteemfantasyselfself-esteemsidekick
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It could be worse, Robin. You could be Alfred the butler.
butlerrobinworse
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Damn you, sir.
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- Who cares? It's only a grade. - Really? What did you get?
caresgrade
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An A-plus. I turned on the waterworks and the resident changed it to an A-plus-plus.
changedplusresidentturned
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A proud day for women everywhere.
proudwomen
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What are you worried about? With the whole hero thing,
herowholeworried
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whoever evaluates you will give you a gold star.
goldstar
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Listen, Supergirl.
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I'm gonna break you into so many pieces that my grandmother,
breakgrandmotherpieces
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who can do a 1,000-piece puzzle of clear blue sky in less than an hour,
blueclearhourlesspiecepuzzle
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will never be able to put you back together,
able
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even if she goes go back in time to when her vision was perfect.
perfectvision
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Somehow I doubt it.
doubt
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♪ I'm no Superman ♪
superman
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Before you deny you like looking at strange naked women again,
denylookingnakedstrangewomen
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I should remind you that when you stay at my place, it's not a hotel.
hotelplaceremind
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The movie titles do come up on the bill.
billmovie
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I'm sticking with "we were protesting."
protestingsticking
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- J.D.? - Outraged and disgusted.
disgustedoutraged
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Take Bambi out tonight.
bambitonight
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Maybe with all the hype you can finally get him a girl.
finallygirlhype
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[music and laughter]
laughtermusic
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Who hasn't bought us drinks yet?
boughtdrinks
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It could happen.
happen
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[pager beeps]
beepspagerpager-beeps
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- Don't wait up for me tonight. - Okay.
tonight
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So do you wanna get drunk and beg me for sex now
drunk
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or do you wanna wait till two o'clock tonight?
oclocktilltonight
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- Let's wait. - Cool.
cool
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You know, I'm off tonight. What are you doing, Carla?
carlatonight
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Just having dinner with a friend.
dinnerfriendhavinghaving-dinner
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She's not gonna get the invite.
invite
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You could take Elliot with you.
elliot
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Great. I can't wait.
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Have a good time tonight.
tonight
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Did you lose something?
lose
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No, why? Did you take something?
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- No. - What'd you take?
whatd
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Nothing.
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What'd you take?
whatd
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[whistles] Newbie. Come.
newbiewhistleswhistles-newbie
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Look, Doogie,
doogie
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I'm up to my cha-chas in busywork,
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so I'm gonna take a rain check on your report card
cardcheckrainrain-checkreportreport-card
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and just have you do it yourself.
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You didn't even fill out my name.
fillname
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Well, now, I think it's John, or Jimmy or Ji or mmm.
jimmyjohn
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[Dr. Cox] It's in the J family.
family
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But if you get in trouble, just ask the nurses for help.
nursestrouble
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Sir, I've been the hospital's legal counsel for,
counselhospitalslegal
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well, let's just say, when I started, I had hair.
hairstarted
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And a wife and family.
familywife
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The point is, I'll never get a raise without the support of senior staff like yourself.
pointraiseseniorstaffsupport
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- Can't do it. - Well, you did what you could.
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Dr. Dorian, how are you?
dorian
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Well, these evaluations...
evaluations
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Just a pleasantry, keep it moving.
moving
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Listen, I've been thinking.
thinking
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All the publicity you and your friend have been getting,
friendpublicity
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it would be silly not to milk it a little bit.
milksilly
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See if we can't promote the hospital, what do you say?
hospitalpromote
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Okay, whose breasts haven't I signed yet?
breastssigned
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- It could happen. - Excuse me?
excusehappen
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Anything for the hospital, sir.
hospital
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So what are we doing tonight?
tonight
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Going out to dinner, I guess.
dinner
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Dinner! Where are we gonna eat?
dinner
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Oh, I don't know, some restaurant.
restaurant
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Some restaurant!
restaurant
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Be honest, um...
honest
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Does this look, uh, hip enough?
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Since when are khakis, a pink shirt and a neckerchief not hip?
pinkshirt
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True.
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[pager beeps]
beepspagerpager-beeps
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Hey.
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- Hi. - Hey, Darryl.
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Um, I have to make a quick call.
quick
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So, Patricia, Darryl, this is Elliot.
elliotpatricia
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- Hi. Nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you.
meet
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- I'm gonna get out of here. - Okay.
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Thanks for the ride.
ridethanks
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- Someone's a cradle-robber. - Darryl's my son.
cradlerobbersomeones
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Come on, the only way he could be your son was if you had him when you were 15.
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- 14. - Oh.
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I was close.
close
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I'm sorry, that was my mom. I'm gonna have to cancel.
cancel
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I can't evaluate myself.
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Would you describe me as warm, professional, or both?
describeprofessionalwarm
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I'd describe you as "I'm on my lunch."
describelunch
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I don't know whether to be easy or hard on myself...
easyhardwhether
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Can't you see I'm watching my stories?
storieswatching
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Dr. Cox. Have you been here the whole time?
whole
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No, I just came in through the couch door. Move.
couchdoor
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You said you were too busy to do my evaluation.
busyevaluation
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I am.
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Didn't her daddy sell the coalmine?
daddysell
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- Contract didn't stick. - Oh, that's interesting.
contractinterestingstick
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- Uh-huh. - Mm-hmm.
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Okay, we're almost ready.
ready
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Anything you wanna say before we get started?
started
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Yeah, I've got something to say to Dr. Cox.
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I'm gonna give you the best damn evaluation that you ever did see.
bestevaluation
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And this Friday, at the Steel Cage Medi-Slam,
cagefridaymedislamsteel
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I'm gonna give you a physical you ain't never gonna forget.
aintforgetphysical
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I'm gonna probe ya, 'cause I'm The Intern.
internprobe
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Nothing. Okay, I'll be right back.
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She is tasty.
tasty
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Watch me play a cat and mouse game with her.
gamemousewatch
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She's married to the soundman, bud.
married
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That thing clipped to your collar, that's a microphone.
clippedcollarmicrophone
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[whispers] I'm so sorry. And I love ZZ Top.
lovewhispers
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I'm not looking forward to this.
forwardlookinglooking-forward
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Okay, we're rolling.
rolling
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So, how's my cameraman doing?
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Good enough that he asked me for mouth-to-mouth again.
askedmouth
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[J.D. laughs]
laughs
↓
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Dr. Turk, are there any specific challenges
challengesspecificturk
↓
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being a young black doctor in an inner city hospital?
blackblack-doctorcitydoctorhospitalinnerinner-cityyoung
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[TV drowned out by music]
drownedmusic
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I'm sorry, I really wanna hear this.
↓
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Is it possible to turn up the volume?
possiblevolume
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That's as high as it goes.
↓
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Elliot.
elliot
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Hi!
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Listen, let me tell you what happened.
happened
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Elliot.
elliot
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Damn.
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When I saw that it was missing,
missing
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did you not think I'd come to you?
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I don't know what you're talking about.
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So you're gonna play it that way, huh?
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Touché.
↓
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- I finished my evaluation. - Oh, great.
evaluationfinished
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I thought it would take longer so the marching band won't be here until this evening.
bandeveninglongermarching
↓
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Enjoy. I think you'll find it's a good read.
enjoyread
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Hey, newbie. This thing actually does matter,
matternewbie
↓
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so were you completely honest with yourself?
completelycompletely-honesthonest
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Yeah.
↓
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[Dr. Cox whistles]
whistles
↓
dcb6a8e6-306e-4e7d-9374-7833d2de51f3.gif
Say it right into the camera, hotshot.
camerahotshot
↓
b6a8d6bc-9129-4daa-8398-8bad689aac61.gif
Now you can have this thing back any time you want.
↓
1dc31c3a-2b0f-4237-9116-e4ce4a9916d5.gif
You're gonna have to bark like a dog, though.
bark
↓
5ebe50a7-39cc-4955-ad8f-fb629814d737.gif
I'm-I'm not gonna bark like...
bark
↓
c951d70d-8e10-41e8-8edc-2ba336a14b78.gif
It's your call.
↓
99dc0190-61a5-49f9-b628-cb203e91a5e2.gif
Woof.
woof
↓
a7e8e5fb-bb11-480b-9428-531929f43fd3.gif
Good boy.
↓
5b587a15-3308-4147-aa1e-676c99ef4a63.gif
I got something to show you.
↓
87b28a49-60b1-482b-998d-5c7e6d795350.gif
Is this an uncomfortable moment that'll change our friendship?
changefriendshipmomentthatlluncomfortable
↓
0da3e687-d38c-4e18-b09b-0cff4dc8d972.gif
No, no, no. You're going to like it.
↓
336e7acc-5420-462c-adca-2b0080a98294.gif
Good, 'cause I need some good news, man.
news
↓
c9fcf669-b294-4765-9f4a-1ecf2d06edea.gif
Can you believe that news lady? "What's it like to be a black doctor?"
believeblackblack-doctordoctorladynews
↓
0fc2251f-786f-4692-8c93-2d05ef66156f.gif
I just wish this was over.
wish
↓
8b84f975-0dac-46ab-b023-747be3666fbe.gif
Why have we stopped?
stopped
↓
228cced8-7441-4d2e-8fa8-8dd6312de6b5.gif
[J.D.] Roll 'em up.
roll
↓
dce05187-ace9-4672-b994-a04fedea0d66.gif
Roll 'em up.
roll
↓
3ad7c591-9c8e-488c-86cc-a373f54f4d02.gif
What makes you think I'd wanna be a part of this?
makespart
↓
6caecff3-7f2b-493e-8bd9-b2bae1506799.gif
Kelso said it would make us role models. I just assumed...
assumedkelsomodelsrole
↓
98e7dce5-cbe0-420c-941d-3ac3b9585baa.gif
Yeah, everybody assumes that I'm a good athlete,
assumesathleteeverybody
↓
d40129a1-40f4-407a-841f-0b8e4a18c420.gif
or that I grew up poor, or that I love Sanford and Son.
grewlovepoorsanford
↓
c2a55a9c-efe2-4b6f-a3c2-ed2bf49029a3.gif
But you do love Sanford And Son.
lovesanford
↓
ff522c23-c1f9-4456-ae66-1e97beed262e.gif
We both do.
↓
f3a30b80-04b6-495f-a99c-df5dfd5656e6.gif
[sings theme tune to Sanford And Son]
sanfordsingsthemetune
↓
d3a13af6-690a-4881-ace4-9735fc41f43c.gif
[sings another phrase]
anotherphrasesings
↓
93b4b2a9-2cb5-41be-bb9b-12a479f634f0.gif
[responds]
responds
↓
776142a0-01b2-463e-9feb-0bb23941a00e.gif
- That's what I'm talking about. - [both sing]
sing
↓
4cd38840-0ddc-4309-b266-a03f352ad307.gif
[sing theme high-pitched]
pitchedsingtheme
↓
e957b344-5cf8-470c-87e4-54fa175eeb16.gif
If Dr. Kelso wants me to be a role model for the community
communitykelsokelso-wantsmodelrolerole-modelwants
↓
c311348e-005e-41c8-8c63-97e825e4edf9.gif
because I'm a great doctor, then that's great.
doctor
↓
c2000431-f23e-4d29-8e72-d1e67a5474e4.gif
I will sign on the dotted line.
linesign
↓
1b6b8e8d-00d7-4aaa-bb03-61708cd4c946.gif
But that's not what this is about.
↓
ea0054cd-3e79-40c7-96dd-52bb116b7d17.gif
All my life, I've been singled out because I'm black.
blacklifesingled
↓
b1098bbb-2ab1-46f4-b652-45861212c30a.gif
[whispers] I didn't enter the contest!
contestenterwhispers
↓
d66db1b0-8112-4560-9188-3ec5a30642a7.gif
Shh. Smile for the picture.
picturesmile
↓
cbadeb08-5285-4130-a230-c73e06bff700.gif
- Remember our college brochure? - They put you on the cover.
brochurecollegecoverremember
↓
a6ea4954-3f3a-4b19-8227-3e6a8145c62d.gif
Twice?
twice
↓
ab9c20a3-81d2-4074-940a-db95c72a1d6d.gif
Oh...! Oh...!
↓
d4476fa5-43cc-476b-82c9-af65b0b2d3fa.gif
It's different this time, now it's both of us.
↓
afab153c-69b3-4a86-9e9a-c5433f4d3115.gif
[rap music]
music
↓
db745906-ec63-411c-980e-264fb3c679bd.gif
You can still see my hand on your shoulder.
handshoulder
↓
dfbb7f81-74a5-4ea6-9953-c9c2d611d5be.gif
And that's when I realized,
realized
↓
c27ae6c5-3f12-4b6d-8ad4-d104c3c976f5.gif
This is so unfair. You're supposed to do my evaluation.
evaluationsupposedunfair
↓
d8a1e5fc-b99d-4df6-ba51-7de9fd11be69.gif
And you know what? You're gonna do it, buddy boy.
buddy
↓
989d0764-8708-4abf-b678-4723af6b6c80.gif
Buddy boy?
buddy
↓
a3b7c02b-0852-474a-ad6d-397ba8d166db.gif
Why, I oughta...
oughta
↓
82247157-e6ed-4ac3-bd91-05dd2cd51a96.gif
- I'm serious. - Relax, newbie.
newbierelaxserious
↓
7efdaa0c-0482-44ac-ad80-7a574fa8b656.gif
It's just an evaluation, it should be easy.
easyevaluation
↓
4eaba308-a0d0-41f2-8880-a0fa5bc257be.gif
If it's that easy, it won't take you long to do it.
easy
↓
8e2f8150-18bd-4ffa-b2e8-4ef2ee423239.gif
All right, don't you worry about it, newbie.
newbieworry
↓
681b6298-34d6-4208-b478-25581e76a1a5.gif
I'll evaluate the hell right out of you.
↓
38fff6bf-8532-444f-9cd2-3696dc1b73a5.gif
- When? - The second I get off work.
second
↓
5f81c739-3296-40ff-8e62-e4b3b9fe8091.gif
- Fine! - Fine.
↓
6b8cc9bb-87a2-42e2-864c-ef41b47b4a3a.gif
Great! Here it is.
↓
3ce27158-8a26-4031-839a-152db40fb664.gif
You get off six-ish, or...?
↓
9fbfc976-319b-4807-b567-1d031dbfa0a8.gif
Oh, danger. Oh, oh...
danger
↓
ae52c52d-46b9-49ae-9ec7-113de809105d.gif
You're gonna have to see her eventually.
eventually
↓
96c5d878-961b-4b15-a566-97b0ec5808bb.gif
No, I don't. I know the layout to the air-duct system
ductsystem
↓
482c69c6-163e-4f31-b746-6740210d33f5.gif
like the back of my hand.
hand
↓
698763b6-e2b0-4a56-b065-1243ebdc287c.gif
Of course I'm gonna have to see her again.
course
↓
55383f55-c9f6-4466-8f62-1499d8523c6a.gif
So this is the part where all of a sudden it's my fault?
faultpartsudden
↓
495d3b30-0a75-45ec-9c39-0ad1f4edb795.gif
Turk, if you could have seen the look on her face...
faceseenturk
↓
a868e9c3-c389-434f-9ed9-4576bf857418.gif
I tell you, if I think about it again, it's gonna make me cry.
↓
888a07ab-9efb-4bd0-99c1-a152ea44e5ed.gif
What am I gonna do?
↓
a435c830-2715-453e-8a66-b746af9e99f0.gif
Keep doing what you're doing.
↓
bd57559a-367c-4917-ad5a-ff057dcd962e.gif
Eventually, she'll quit and move.
eventuallyquitshell
↓
2b09f870-7280-4314-b583-f73d60003830.gif
- Why am I even talking to you? - What?!
↓
e0961ee0-404f-4157-a466-2b4a965f7806.gif
You're such a guy.
↓
e1bf0568-817c-4269-8972-48bc7a2e8562.gif
You can't understand something this deep
deep
↓
0c649518-6a7b-4dd3-9bd1-9d2cfd97c492.gif
on any kind of real emotional level.
emotionallevelreal
↓
a3f304ad-5e5e-41ed-9133-aafb1fcb4ae7.gif
Hey, Turk. I'm sorry about the poster thing.
posterturk
↓
fd55c71e-60f7-4602-9fbb-4e2ec4a62027.gif
It was racially insensitive. I should've been aware of your feelings.
awarefeelingsinsensitiveshouldve
↓
29dc3f1b-2ab4-46bb-9022-2cbb2f16a4bf.gif
Your intentions were good. There's never been an issue of race between us.
intentionsissuerace
↓
f290e14c-4ee7-4ad9-9782-c5deb898633a.gif
You've been nothing but a friend to me.
friend
↓
84732fbe-754b-40d8-bfc5-a9bea78f9e78.gif
I love you, man.
love
↓
7b641a92-deec-457e-9ec7-0834e9f986b0.gif
Hit me one.
↓
f6d1dcb6-4ecd-446b-998b-4fb33209a6c8.gif
Keep it real.
real
↓
e249c17f-814c-4393-806b-9dddaf78a4e6.gif
We've got some things to work out but we'll get there.
↓
8e6a4e40-c97a-4388-8a25-dfc768765d27.gif
We'll get there.
↓
dfed6dcf-8192-4dfa-a2d9-eb23deed405d.gif
Sure, it hurt.
hurt
↓
4c7ca6e0-c6d6-444d-8a8b-4a774b6de04b.gif
But you know what? I'm not gonna wallow in self pity.
pityself
↓
ea314680-79a8-47ae-b1aa-5dedc28da73a.gif
Right after work, I'm gonna go straight downtown
downtownstraight
↓
cbdb154f-aba2-4f16-a961-0a44cb43080e.gif
and just tear it up, you know?
tear
↓
664c86ca-82cc-4fe6-b045-468dce1068fc.gif
Maybe I'll have a cigarette, just get a little crazy,
cigarettecrazy
↓
825f7ab7-5e97-493e-ae31-00c31f67efc9.gif
and head wherever the night takes me.
headnighttakes
↓
61904a14-1c33-40fd-9f81-1f8fd37452ce.gif
What's that, now?
↓
b9fd1a4b-912b-4001-beea-3314c7775102.gif
Thanks so much!
thanks
↓
1fd91c42-1c7c-49df-ad69-904d8cf920d2.gif
[needle scratches record]
needlerecordscratches
↓
9c5a756b-f2a9-42a8-b5dc-4cd086695f8c.gif
[siren wails]
sirensiren-wailswails
↓
1434cf26-76ed-40f3-aba2-5aa8ef4d3642.gif
Taxi!
taxi
↓
68a160d6-a5c4-45a9-8902-f03bcb936b3a.gif
[man] Hey, baby, how much?
baby
↓
b70ad87a-f452-4ed7-a4d9-3ef013b21762.gif
[man] Hey, don't go away, man!
↓
d27b1ab0-0513-4148-9bc0-48b4b7b0daea.gif
Get me the hell outta here. Hurry!
hurryoutta
↓
c7729155-3159-4d3c-afa1-d99f5cc5d221.gif
Here's what we're gonna do.
↓
0eedba0b-1c95-412a-9344-a0c0f62dcf7e.gif
I'm gonna leave the cart in the closet
cartcloset
↓
fd4d1b90-784f-4096-b00c-c1410e6d8580.gif
and leave the closet unlocked.
closetunlocked
↓
d54d6cff-0cce-438d-9936-bceb5c3e1681.gif
If, by magic, it should happen to reappear,
happenmagic
↓
ddc875f1-bbb9-48c6-b49c-f07ec4fa47d7.gif
I won't ask any questions.
questions
↓
ccd4eb23-a162-4eb5-95b2-b4e314276a42.gif
I don't even know what "it" is.
↓
8274b531-f098-4c19-a429-effdbbaa652f.gif
Then why take it?
↓
cf362636-cf5a-4a3e-baa0-8d1bdd0c3ab5.gif
I...
↓
7353f899-15a1-4aa2-b0e8-a67207b5ff15.gif
Well, if it isn't Dr. Turk,
turk
↓
49a1d57a-74b2-439f-a414-f83657a78b34.gif
the friendly face of Sacred Heart.
facefriendlyheartsacredsacred-heart
↓
ad7d12f5-29cb-4fbd-a6f6-5a543309a4a5.gif
Yeah.
↓
31885e65-a15c-4e9c-a5bd-7c26daf50a8f.gif
Dr. Kelso, about these posters...
kelsoposters
↓
bedc2e35-c37d-4b0c-a8ae-44184f445fb3.gif
They're making me uncomfortable.
uncomfortable
↓
a57d8a62-5471-41d4-8733-865377d65fad.gif
Oh, I'm so sorry.
↓
13bf92bb-7ea9-4e50-92e2-c76a85373187.gif
I didn't realize you felt that way.
realize
↓
95bfcdab-4781-4af8-98dd-c34e593903b5.gif
Well, here's what I'm gonna do.
↓
8722c2ab-9949-4bd2-b2df-f5ad5bce226a.gif
I'm gonna leave them up.
↓
62adca84-3016-4aef-8fd3-fa11cc3258f5.gif
I can live with that. Or I can sue you.
live
↓
8c3ae535-0699-4f49-9f29-a9705ebff7fb.gif
[screech of brakes]
brakesscreech
↓
c4e9d497-bf69-42e4-9083-2a5c89d1a223.gif
Dr. Turk, you are an employee here.
employeeturk
↓
392fe206-27b8-494b-9695-7400f2fd596b.gif
I can advertise however I wish.
wish
↓
5b25e3ed-89a0-4937-802d-2afd8c56e053.gif
I can use your image, your name,
imagename
↓
bcbb0340-5b21-495e-90e6-e79a809d15fe.gif
I can manufacture tiny little Dr. Turk action figures.
actionfigurestinyturk
↓
37a2b7a8-205f-4674-97ca-d3f9763ce68d.gif
It'll cost $12.95. When you pull the string, it says:
costitllpullstring
↓
f917ba7e-6979-42a7-888d-7397072fc2f0.gif
"I don't like these posters of me!"
posters
↓
1582e0cb-c442-4498-abfc-38aa830e0478.gif
- Isn't that right, Ted? - Oh, definitely, sir.
↓
027018a6-8b0c-4cb9-b163-bb17c21c89f5.gif
You'd certainly be vulnerable from a legal standpoint.
certainlylegalvulnerable
↓
b2363eb8-6037-4130-bc5d-363b7db285d0.gif
How vulnerable?
vulnerable
↓
cbd6d2a5-a8f3-41fe-bd83-5c9946112e87.gif
That lawsuit would be over so quickly,
lawsuitquickly
↓
81deb56b-c1d8-40e1-a076-311756c4678d.gif
I'd advise you to bring cab fare to the courthouse,
advisebringcourthousefare
↓
f4e95f05-e2bd-4472-bf37-b931c5fcbe8b.gif
since Dr. Turk would be driving your Beamer home to his place.
drivinghomeplaceturk
↓
6abb9647-28e5-4839-8900-6ce65132471b.gif
Hippie.
hippie
↓
4ba120a6-57c7-49e5-8445-eecade96882c.gif
God, that felt good.
↓
7b02fd7e-ece1-4191-b5fa-d32fea2251c5.gif
Who's the man?
↓
a69d6c28-c054-4a95-94c6-caecb32eb00e.gif
- Is it me? - Damn right it's you.
↓
8f401e02-7e75-48af-a253-68ed3343c206.gif
Oh!
↓
5ec29ffb-9fe1-4858-8567-aedabc0e0436.gif
Right, man.
↓
a48e91e1-a431-4b76-963e-77f16c325e27.gif
It's me.
↓
cf48c32e-7404-4587-b218-1a99bfc73a79.gif
Elliot...
elliot
↓
c0f61d86-5d3f-4754-9a57-c614d5fb033b.gif
There's no excuse for what I did.
excuse
↓
4cfcbecb-258f-4185-8db1-ca04cecd7d24.gif
No, there's not.
↓
d2b59d77-8c1b-42a9-a521-f9230aefc708.gif
- Are we done? - I'm really sorry.
↓
3f568b15-102a-4413-b434-40d0c200e02e.gif
Don't be.
↓
aa7ec236-cf24-407c-a602-b570eeb0123a.gif
If I was going out with my friend I wouldn't invite you.
friendinvite
↓
eceaaffe-4c8d-4b47-a6fe-6b339241f820.gif
Who am I kidding? Yes, I would.
kidding
↓
267b22ef-48b0-4eca-aa31-1d737f65409f.gif
She'd like you better and neither of you would talk to me again.
shed
↓
64db59f5-69cd-46b4-b457-2d77a9a44731.gif
I only did it because I hadn't seen Patricia in a long time.
patriciaseen
↓
39d88840-ef69-4518-944c-81a944395184.gif
You did it because I don't fit in with you and your friend.
friend
↓
763e20dc-3012-4613-86f6-57fe02991494.gif
It's no surprise. It's not like I've ever fit in anywhere.
surprise
↓
6b309f57-fdae-4182-a275-5ff87be51689.gif
Carla, your friend Patricia's here.
carlafriend
↓
1603da18-d0f5-4fb0-8bac-821b5147aae7.gif
There's a problem with her son.
problem
↓
bac40690-0531-469d-8c61-bdf3fe3841e9.gif
Why so sad, Marshmallow?
marshmallow
↓
901a2492-9af8-4622-a22e-638cb7a5015c.gif
Oh, good. He's not here.
↓
32cbcd6a-b1e1-4f49-ab21-911b7b343a84.gif
Dr. Cox?
↓
f5c882af-f4ec-42a9-bb16-61e2e3379e52.gif
It's time.
↓
e7ea24a6-0959-4eea-b5c4-7f405d20104b.gif
Sit down.
↓
5955a57e-b907-4b5d-aa95-7ca5351e9bff.gif
What do you want me to say? That you're great?
↓
c69f1b23-a91d-4bc9-8679-522ac3d5bb7a.gif
That you're raising the bar for interns everywhere?
internsraising
↓
903c7862-1766-4a70-8967-fa3e9f6feb80.gif
I'm cool with that.
cool
↓
a7b4bc93-8d32-4e08-8415-c08b58c8d90a.gif
I'm not gonna say that. You're okay.
↓
63e1b162-a4c1-439a-9283-cb66060cd555.gif
You might be better than that some day but right now all I see is
might
↓
f24d3def-a689-49d6-8fb2-ed879f4287fc.gif
a guy so worried about what everybody else thinks of him
everybodythinksworried
↓
f0b6ed5e-8dbf-4194-8451-8f529f509074.gif
that he has no real belief in himself.
beliefreal
↓
17b1e07a-4af2-4d9c-962b-f078ec8ecba1.gif
I mean, did you even wonder why I told you to do your own evaluation?
evaluationwonder
↓
4d240408-dc94-4b15-bb0b-e377c6d89d29.gif
I-I can't think of a safe answer, I just...
answersafe
↓
ff04506f-de02-4694-b355-0ebddb6785b6.gif
Clam up!
clam
↓
b8171b6c-18ab-4221-adbf-c16dbebbe40e.gif
I wanted you to think about yourself.
wanted
↓
c6a887ec-f856-4274-8907-320a252b5611.gif
And I mean really think.
↓
73912623-03f2-4bf0-8f98-eb8626b29147.gif
What are you good at? What do you suck at? I wanted it down on paper,
papersuckwanted
↓
d353a769-3c23-41b7-ac0e-bec576648229.gif
not so I could see it, or anybody else,
anybody
↓
d7c7d456-b286-46b9-acc0-218dd8a8fb82.gif
but so that you could see it.
↓
9c37f7d4-1ff4-45e1-94c8-962eb1dadb71.gif
Ultimately, you don't have to answer to me, or to Kelso,
answerkelsoultimately
↓
7d9d9ad7-c113-48a9-93eb-daeca47aa220.gif
you don't even have to answer to your patients, for God's sake.
answergodsgods-sakepatientssake
↓
95dcc8bb-0aca-44b0-9400-9350a76141ab.gif
You only have to answer to one guy, newbie, and that's you!
answernewbie
↓
87a1c59d-6295-4e1a-94ad-40418fb3d636.gif
There...
↓
5cc94078-decb-47bf-a1e6-2424420b4076.gif
You are... evaluated.
↓
605248df-1733-4ad7-9231-b50c2142e2fc.gif
Now get the hell outta my sight.
outtasight
↓
ad686b43-4a7b-4993-9e9a-cb5cc86a430d.gif
You, honest to God, get me so angry
angryhonest
↓
ca793a95-5eb5-4475-a5ab-7b8864d771a6.gif
I'm afraid I just might hurt myself.
afraidhurtmightmight-hurt
↓
a125ef92-766d-4a83-a05d-16225f036bb0.gif
So what are you? One of the male nurses?
malenurses
↓
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Actually, I'm a surgeon. I'm doing this as a favor for Carla.
carlafavorsurgeon
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Hey, Carla is fine.
carla
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What's she doing with you?
↓
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Slummin' a little, God bless her heart.
blessheart
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ce2c7c64-92de-4b0a-8405-c82962017b47.gif
This is a knife cut, huh?
knife
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Yeah, it's cool.
cool
↓
181fba8e-1962-45be-a724-9607ab3505c3.gif
See this right here?
↓
981b5b88-5b91-4d7f-a973-0d1a3fca4b61.gif
Pinched it in a door. Two stitches.
doorpinchedstitches
↓
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- Oh, man. You hardcore, man. - Hell, yeah!
hardcore
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Darryl's gonna be fine but I'm worried about you.
worried
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You're a little upset. I'll set you up in a room with some fluids and maybe a valium.
fluidsroomupsetvalium
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- Elliot, thank you. - Hey, there you are.
elliot
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- Oh... - Elliot, you're coming, right?
comingelliot
↓
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- In a sec. - Are you all right?
↓
fd81d390-af36-4c66-94fa-a5b5ec498af6.gif
Hot cocoa, sweetie?
cocoasweetie
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4c019f73-266e-4d33-8e0a-895813233103.gif
Thanks.
thanks
↓
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Any time.
↓
131dc6b9-43ac-4299-ab95-1d9c5967baa8.gif
Hell, yeah! Hell!
↓
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And it didn't feel that good.
↓
80b54dd8-5c96-4f0a-801d-f9eace490c70.gif
I would like to make special mention of one intern here,
internmentionspecial
↓
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John Dorian.
dorianjohnjohn-dorian
↓
03c70911-c14a-4a9f-8bf1-893591c96aea.gif
Smart kid, extremely competent, and his enthusiasm
competententhusiasmextremelysmart
↓
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and his determination to always be better
↓
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is something I see in him 24 hours a day.
hours
↓
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He cares. Probably cares too much.
cares
↓
c26e80b5-014c-4f92-91b4-b11e0a4c2a5a.gif
But he's definitely somebody you don't want to lose.
losesomebody
↓
e300fe61-4a33-4089-b318-16ba5a5b44c3.gif
If you have any questions...
questions
↓
cf225147-caa2-46f2-918a-b7a06c0e0f2e.gif
I could give a crap, I'm goin' home.
goinhome
↓
932daa97-a69f-471e-956d-b91497810c1f.gif
You all get paid way too much for doing nothing anyway.
paid
↓
4d0bf1ca-cd6c-4075-82e1-c45e9f98962f.gif
Oh, good, newbie. You found a specialty.
foundnewbiespecialty
↓
2360b388-a883-4b70-b6ad-2d630c32aa16.gif
No, I just dropped my pen.
dropped
↓
50b55c80-b5a9-4302-8a28-73fa1ff69212.gif
Well, look what magically found its way back home.
foundhomemagically
↓
27b5af32-c7d4-4542-bf09-7215953e7b13.gif
What? Your window cleaner?
cleanerwindow
↓
e14c393a-e379-431d-ba38-aea53204864f.gif
No. Ammonia.
ammonia
↓
c93fb9eb-6aa6-4b2e-958e-bb031854a1db.gif
This is window cleaner, right, uh...
cleanerwindow
↓
3b1b2832-e4c7-4af3-b9f5-884f47b8d7ec.gif
Why?
↓
f51b06c1-a0dd-4480-aa79-2787319e7ff2.gif
Now that's just bad luck.
luck